Here’s a fun question for you guys: what would you tell new moms NOT to buy? What did you buy that was a waste of money or a mistake for your family? For me, the big answer to this question is a fancy diaper bag — I now advise all of my friends to NOT buy a fancy diaper bag when they find out they’re pregnant.
(Pictured: a lovely $1400 Burberry diaper bag to consider if you don’t want to listen to this advice!)
All of my friends and I made this mistake: the second we found out we were pregnant we started looking for fancy diaper bags. Resist the urge to do this! At least until after the kiddo is born and you’ve been using a diaper bag for a little bit of time and have a better sense of your needs (and the level of grossness that often comes with babies).
For example, the one that I bought (a very nice Rebecca Minkoff one that’s still available) I ended up hating, because I didn’t want a two-handled tote bag — one handle would fall off my shoulders, and I felt like the whole thing threw my balance off further, particularly if I was babywearing. It also didn’t fit neatly over the stroller handles (or underneath in the basket) — in short, I used it about three times.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
The truth of the matter is, you may not NEED a diaper bag, at least at first — I wound up just using an old Le SportSac Everyday bag (formerly my office gym bag!) for the first several months of my son’s life; other women just use backpacks or totes (or keep supplies in your stroller or car). If you’re breastfeeding, you don’t need to cart any food or snacks for the first six months. When they’re very little you don’t need many toys, either.
So the main things that you need to bring with you are 1-2 outfit changes and your diapering supplies. If you’re traveling with a breast pump (which is a whole other ball of wax), odds are good you’ll just want to shove the diapering supplies and outfits into the same tote. I don’t think I used an actual diaper bag until my son was about a year old, honestly.
(If you DO want to make a purchase, these are some of our favorite diaper bags for working moms:)
(Here’s what I eventually saw as the best way to stock a diaper bag; the pics were taken when I had two kids under 4, both in diapers!)
Furthermore, your diaper bag isn’t really going to be “yours,” at least not in the sense of your other bags — your partner is (hopefully) going to carry it occasionally and will likely take it on outings. Your nann(ies) will probably do the same.
So, for my $.02, hold off on buying the diaper bag — at least until the kiddo is born, and just prep a regular tote bag, backpack, or messenger tote until you have a better idea of your needs.
Ladies, are you with me in being against fancy diaper bags? How much did you spend on the diaper bag you eventually loved? What else do you recommend newly pregnant mamas NOT buy?
Social media image credit: Pixabay.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
- Zappos – 28,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
- Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
- Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
- Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Em says
I was gifted a gorgeous Kate Spade diaper bag/tote that I used as my purse/diaper bag for the first 9 months. The only reason I stopped using it was because the handles ripped (I probably overloaded it but, still, for the money I expected it to last longer). At that point I bought a JJ Cole bag that can convert to a back pack.
I culled my baby list pretty thoroughly (including sending it to my friend with three kids to review) and there were only a few items I bought and didn’t use. The big one was a carseat cover (it was too complicated to use so I just threw blankets over the carseat). The best purchases were two RnPs (one for each floor) and two baby carriers (one wrap and one structured).
Anon in NOVA says
It’s been almost 7 years for me so I’ve forgotten a lot of the baby terminology, what’s a RnP?
Someone gifted me a really nice ergo carrier when my son was >1 and maaaaaan I wish I’d had it sooner!
JEB says
Rock-n-Play
Work travel? says
I’m pretty sure these didn’t exist 7 years ago, when my first was born. For the third one this year it was the #1 recommended thing for the first 3 months for baby to sleep…but this one turned out to be my best sleeper who was happy in the crib from the second night home, so go figure.
Nina says
+1 on a rnp for each floor. Best $40 I spent on #2.
HSAL says
Diaper bags are just not a thing for me. I found one with a pattern I liked and called it a day. It’s not perfect, and not what I’d carry day to day, but as A Place To Hold Baby Things When Out With Baby? It’s fine. I could have easily used one of my larger bags or a tote. To me it’s just a bag – I suspect that’s part of my suburban lifestyle, since I toss it in the car and go. I imagine I would have much stronger feelings if I regularly used public transportation/ walked with it and baby. Right now we use it for overnight trips or if we’re gone more than a few hours, mainly to hold sippies and snacks. We keep a diaper clutch in the car, and both cars are stocked with current size diapers and outfits in case of emergency.
Here’s a kind of funny story – at Baby HSAL’s first doctor appointment at 2 days, before the cars were filled with supplies, my husband had to be the one to tell me that we needed to take a diaper bag with us. So we had to scramble to throw stuff in it (Me: why do we need a burp cloth? HAHAHAHAHA) on our way out the door. Thanks for saving the day, Mr. HSAL.
PhilanthropyGirl says
I love this story. Way to go, Mr. HSAL!
Cate says
At my first’s first doctors appointment we forgot the diaper bag – we had to get a replacement diaper from the pediatrician and baby ended up swaddled in dad’s button down (him in his overshirt). When the doctor got to us, he assumed we were third time parents since we seemed pretty chill… oops.
Anon in NOVA says
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’m enjoying the baby swaddled in a button down image :)
jlg says
this is hilarious. at 2nd doctor’s appointment baby projectile-pooped INTO the diaper bag which was sitting on a chair halfway across the room. was really glad it was skiphop and not kate spade!
H says
I concur with this – and would even extend the advice into when you have second children. When I had my second child I really wanted to up the quality factor on what I used for a diaper bag, since what I had previously (Skip Hop – actually two of them) shredded pretty quickly. I got totally sucked in by the Instagram account of a diaper bag company and bought a $300 bag — and it’s been horrible on quality and doesn’t live up to its claims on how well it holds things. I’m actually really quite embarrassed by the experience, since I normally think of myself as a savvy shopper!
PhilanthropyGirl says
I had a simple, but pretty, diaper bag on my registry – I don’t remember what kind, but I believe it was insulated for the sake of carrying expressed milk – a feature I liked. As it was floral, my husband asked that we find one he was comfortable carrying (he’s a freelancer who is mostly home with our son so he would use it more frequently than I would). We picked up an Eddie Bauer diaper bag – barely used – at a garage sale for about $4. It because our go-to bag and I don’t even know what happened to the other. I need to replace it after 2 years of hard use – but of course the model is no longer made.
I wanted to keep things super simple and mostly managed it. I ended up not using my flat swaddles much and relied very heavily on the SwaddleMes and Halo sleep sacks. I wish I would have had more of those and fewer of the flat swaddles.
Anon in NOVA says
I second the “wish I had more Halo Sleep Sacks” comment. The swaddling blankets didn’t hold well and I got nervous about SIDS concerns if he escaped. Someone gifted me a sleepsack/swaddler and it was a dream. In retrospect I should’ve bought a bunch!
AEK says
I got this one and still use it all the time (and so does my husband). It’s particularly great for longer days out and on airplanes— stands up solidly so no worries about spills inside. Lots of pockets, which I like for keeping snacks & toys/ books separate from diapers & creams etc. But it’s not huge and weighs nothing when empty.
It has held up great for 2-plus years.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00R5KTFCC/ref=s9_acsd_hps_bw_c_x_12_w?th=1
For just running around I throw a small diaper clutch into whatever back I’m using. Fits 2 diapers, a travel pack of wipes, and unfolds into a pad. It fits nicely into all my totes & med/large purses, plus his swim-lesson bag, our backpack, or a small stroller pocket.
Anon in NOVA says
Hear me out, gang. A lot of people will probably disagree, but if I had it to do over again I wouldn’t buy a crib. I know it sounds crazy but…
I had a crib with an attached changing table. I never once changed my child on a changing table. That, in and of itself was a waste. My son ended up in the room with us in a pack n play for the first 8 months or so. By the time he was 15 months, he was crawling out of the crib and I could find him perched like a gargoyle on the attached changing table, even if the crib was on the lowest setting. So I converted it to a toddler bed (thinking I was soooo smart for getting the convertible one) but he ultimately crawled out of the toddler bed and into the full-sized bed in his room (which was just a mattress on a boxspring at the time, no frame). We ended up tossing the crib when we moved.
If I had it to do again, I would invest in a really nice playard sleeper (maybe nicer than the graco one I had, which really worked just fine), and once that is outgrown buy either a toddler bed (SO much cheaper than a crip) or go straight to a floor bed of some sort. I bought into wanting to have the nursery all perfect and set up, but by the time he used it my tastes had changed! Especially with the new “keep them in your room for a year” recs, I think a crib is a waste.
I used to tell people a changing table is a waste, but a tall friend pointed out to me how much it was necessary for tall folks, so I guess this is a “know your physical needs” thing.
ChiLaw says
Funnily, I would skip the “first sleeping surface that isn’t a crib” purchase. We had a lovely bassinet, but baby was like “eff that, I need to be CLOSE” so we (safely!) co-slept. Basically until she was in her own crib in her room.
Anon in NOVA says
We used a bassinet then pack n play then briefly crib, and I DEFINITELY could have skipped the separate bassinet!
jlg says
i would go one further and skip the pack-n-play altogether. had i known better i would have (1) just set up the crib in our room to start with or (2) bought the guava lotus crib w/ bassinet. we could only keep baby in PnP bassinet for 2.5 months b/c he got too heavy. this time we are too lazy to disassemble crib in nursery so we are getting an ikea crib for our room rather than bothering with any type of bassinet since this one’s likely to be a big baby as well. crib can then get donated or go to parents or inlaws for use when visiting.
Anon in NOVA says
The guava lotus looks great. I’m using “pack n play” like people use “kleenex”, I really mean any collapsible sleep/play thing of that size.
Anon says
Our 5 month old son sleeps in the arm’s reach co-sleeper and I expect he will outgrow it in a couple of months.We live in small condo so space is an issue right now. You think we should skip the crib and go straight to the toddle bed? I have no idea what we will do but we need to figure out something soon.
Anon in NOVA says
Maybe a playard sleeper? Then it can fold up during the day if needed, and they’re so useful to have for travel. I used one for my son when we traveled until he was almost 3 (my friends did NOT have child proof homes back then) so it was a worthy investment. If your LO doesn’t have their own completely child-proofed room, there’s some value in having them “contained”, but a portable sleeper is cheaper, smaller, and more functional than a crib.
anon says
If you get a crib that can be converted to a toddler bed you can use it for at least 4-5 more years. They generally take up the same amount of space as both use crib mattresses.
Anon in NOVA says
True. Even better if you can get a great deal on a crib like what is mentioned below. We got so little use out of our crib that I wish I had just gotten a separate toddler bed when that time came, though. You can get a really nice-looking toddler bed for muuuuuch cheaper than a crib.
anon says
Yeah, so much of this depends on your situation. Our son never had a bassinet or cosleeper; his crib was in our room (because we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment, not due to my preference!). We put a changing pad on top of a dresser we bought (we needed a place to put his clothes), which we always used for changing him. In a 1 bedroom apartment, it was never far away. And my son never tried to climb out of the crib so he slept in it until he was at least 3, at which point we converted it to a toddler bed, and he is still in it at 4.5. Plus we got the crib for free from Freecycle, and it is really nice – Pottery Barn! I cosign with do not spend a lot of money on a crib, dedicated changing table, or any piece of furniture with a short lifespan.
Anon says
I might have missed it but what’s the reasoning for a playard over a smallish inexpensive crib that are about the same size and cost? (Ikea and TRU both have a few like that). Maybe I’m biased because I skipped the playard as I didn’t love the aesthetics and just did a slim crib sidecar’d next to our bed for the first 8 months.
Anon in NOVA says
I think an IKEA crib works well, too, since it’s much less of a footprint than the larger ones. I was thinking more through the lense of someone who spent $500 on a crib and even more money decorating the nursery, and ended up with my child spending most of their sleeping hours in a $60 pack n play in my bedroom. I wish I had just skipped the crib and gotten a nicer playard if I was going to go that route (plus I traveled a lot with him as a baby so I needed to have a playard regardless) and worried about decorating his room/getting a big boy bed when he was a bit older and had “interests”. However, I’ve also recommended something along the lines of an ikea crib to others as well.
layered bob says
+1.
Co-sleeper to floor bed (combined with a few hours/night of bed sharing) was what we did with baby #1 and what we’ll definitely do with baby #2.
Sarabeth says
We did this. Two children, no real crib. Both went from cosleeper to the Guava Lotus portable crib. Pros for us: we travel a lot, and this means that the kid is in the same sleep environment while traveling. It also has a side zip, so no picking up a heavy kid from a low crib and straining your back. Mesh sides mean no getting arms/legs stuck between the slats (no idea if all kids do that, but anecdata from my circle of friends suggests it’s a thing). Low height means it’s not a safety issue when kid is big enough to climb out – and when that happens, we just start leaving it unzipped so kid can get in and out at will, which in turn makes the transition to the floor bed easier. Extremely easy to move rooms, so we can move kid into our room (or sibling’s room, now) and use their room for overnight guests.
Cons: Not as pretty? Otherwise, none.
On the other hand, my back definitely requires use of a changing table, which I found out the hard way with our first!
Anon says
This is a great idea because you can move it to a different room just like the co-sleeper. Did you put it on carpet or hard wood floors? We have hard wood floors and they tend to get cold in the winter. I am wondering if we can lay it down on an extra small mattress or something similar to make it a bit higher and keep the baby warm.
Pogo says
So I’m all about not buying extra stuff and know that baby will sleep in the pack n play for quite some time in our room. But in-laws have a crib that we could have, I think they bought it new for my nephew when he was first born and they were all excited to have a grandchild sleep over. So it should be new enough that it still meets all the standards and whatnot.
Our only ‘cost’ would be transporting the thing to our house and assembling. Would the anti-crib crowd still veto?
I’m definitely pro-mattress on the floor as a toddler bed. I don’t see the point of an actual toddler bed.
Work travel? says
I mean if it’s free, take it because it’s nothing lost if kid never uses it. And you could end up with a great sleeper who takes to it nicely and never climbs out (neither of my first ever climbed out).
October says
Definitely take the crib. The pack n play mattress is really thin and hard (even with padded sheets) and the space is really confining….I would feel bad making my baby/toddler sleep on that every night!
Brb says
I’m 6’1″ and I think a changing table is wayyyy overrated. We bought an adult sized dresser from ikea and put the changing pad on top. It’s a much easier height than a changing table or a children’s dresser.
Leatty says
Speaking of diaper bags, I need to pick one out soon. I want something that is durable, not hideous, and less than $150. Any suggestions?
EBMom says
If you don’t mind a print, I love my LeSportsac Tote. I used it way more than the fancy diaper bag my husband bought me.
Anon in NOVA says
Get a nice tote (Like a large Longchamp Le Pliage tote bag) and some SugarSNAP Files Mesh Diaper Bag Organizer Inserts. I haven’t personally used the second rec, but someone posted the link here in a previous diaper bag convo and I was so impressed I saved it in case I have a second kid. The Longchamp LePliage bags look nice (I mean, even Kate Middleton has one), don’t scream “diaper bag”, and can be used as a large purse once your outgrow the diaper bag stage. They’re also easy to wipe down/empty out. I once let a bag of M&Ms get crushed in mine (I use the medium one as a purse) and I turned it inside out and ran it under the sink, it dried just fine. Mine has held up for 5 years so far. There’s not a lot of pockets inside, but that’s where the mesh bags I recommended above come in. Plus, since it’s a tote and less structured than the traditional diaper bag, it’s easier to shove in the basket of a stroller etc. if needed.
If I had it to do again, this is the route I’d go. :)
Anonymama says
Yeah, I’ve also used ziplock bags to organize diaper bag contents (outfit change, diapers, snacks, diaper cream/hand sanitizer/lotion) and they are pretty handy, plus good to have in case of diaper explosions. All in either a messenger bag or (once they are mobile and you need two hands free to grab them) a hiking backpack. Skip hop for one kid (pockets were nice, but didn’t stay closed very well, and for kind of torn up). For second rotated among various canvas grocery/tote bags.
anon says
My husband sews and made us a diaper bag with a matching changing pad. Naturally I was contractually obligated to adore it. It was pretty good, although a bit big, and I never liked the changing pad (too hard to fold/unfold 1 handed). I received the Skip Hop changing pad clutch thing as a gift, which is great and I recommend. But I liked having a bag ready to go with diapers, wipes, cream, nursing cover, at least 1 change of clothes, toys, etc. at all times. When my son got a little older I started using an old backpack more with the Skip Hop clutch inside and more stuff we would want at the playground – toy cars/diggers, sidewalk chalk, small ball, nonperishable snacks, sunscreen, insect repellent, water bottle, extra clothes, Potette during potty training – I think of it as my playground go bag. We live in the city, and the playground/park is our yard, so it really makes it easier to get out of the house relatively fast. I also have a separate bag of sand/water toys I can grab in the summer.
JJ says
For baby number 2 (now 10 months old,) we bought a Kanken backpack to use as a diaper bag. I organize it with a see-through mesh pouches that hold the necessities. I can fit my phone and wallet in the front pocket. Its helpful for my hands to be free and my husband doesn’t mind carrying it. Interestingly, a few years ago I splurged on a leather Minkoff knocked-up bag to use for work. I love the size, the pockets, and the durable lining. However, its quite heavy–even if I don’t have it loaded with a laptop and papers so I haven’t used it as much as I thought I might.
pickle says
I love my storksak noa bag because it also works as a purse for me (I was a longchamps le pliage person pre-baby but I like the storksak bottle pocket). My husband has his own diaper duffel bag. I also have a stroller diaper bag pre-packed for shorter walks, that I can throw into a backpack for baby wearing. This means that I have 3 travel wipes containers (one in each bag), plus an extra change of clothes and diapers in each bag, but I also don’t stress about having baby stuff handy.
Anon in NOVA says
I had never heard of this brand before so I checked it out. Their stroller caddies look really nice, too.
Anon in NYC says
When my LO was a newborn/infant I carried around a diaper bag with all sorts of stuff – extra changes of clothes, diapers, some toys, etc. It was a Skip Hop and completely fine but I never loved it. Now I loathe carrying around anything beyond basically a diaper pouch that someone gave us. It fits diapers, wipes, cream, and can fit in my large purse or I can throw it under the stroller. Also, I don’t baby wear all the time, but do so a lot more in the winter (since we take more subway rides instead of walking everywhere) and I hate carrying a bag on my shoulder when I wear my kiddo.
Basically, my point is: don’t spend a lot of money on a diaper bag and get a backpack if you plan to baby wear at all.
anon says
I’ll be the voice of dissent here. I bought a gorgeous black nylon Burberry diaper bag when I was pregnant with my first, and a full 5 years later, it is still going strong. I spent about $750 on it at the time, but it is basically the only bag I carry outside of work or special events, so I wanted it to feel sufficiently purse-like that I wouldn’t mind hauling it around with me all the time. Since it is nylon, it’s lightweight and wipes down easily, and has worn like iron. We’re getting ready to have our third, and I full expect that even once we finish our baby/toddler years, I’ll still be using it as a weekender. In this case, the cost-per-wear works out to pennies, so I have no regrets.
Pigpen's Mama says
I’ve had a few diaper bags — first one didn’t have a zip closure, so stuff was always falling out, second one was pretty good, but then started feeling too big & heavy once I didn’t need all the extra clothes/burp clothes/bibs. I switched over to a small kid-sized backpack, which typically holds a few diaper + wipes + disposable chaging pad in a baggie, snacks, and entertainment. Currently in toilet training mode, so I have a folding potty seat shoved in there and I try to rememebr to keep extra clothes in the car.
I’d like to be diaper bag free and just toss a few things in my purse — but I’m too much of an over packer (extra clothes! entertainment! snacks!) and my purses never seemed right. My bigger ones are all shoulder bags that just don’t stay on my shoulder when kid-wrangling and my crossbody bags are too small.
My unicorn bag is a crossbody that’s jusssst right, so I can carry some of the stuff and kiddo’s backpack can be light enough so that she can wear it without tipping over.
RR says
I had a Jujube for my third, and I really liked it. It’s machine washable, has little holes to let crumbs out, could be carried as a backpack, shoulder bag, or by the handles, had some anti-microbal lining, lots of great pockets. It was kind of expensive, and you have to get past the crazy prints, but for practicality it was the best I found.
LALaw says
First time transplant over from the main website. Hoping to get some commiseration/hear your own experiences as I’m struggling. I’m 12 weeks pregnant and already in need of maternity pants/belly band. I’m wearing one tonight. I know that, in the grand scheme of 40 weeks, I’m hardly showing, but I’m having trouble letting go of the comparison game (e.g., mother-in-law telling me she didn’t show until 20 weeks, my own mother only gained 20 lbs, etc.) I know my belly growing is a sign of a healthy growing baby, and I’d like to get a grip on my negative self/body image before I really start growing. I wasn’t super comfortable with my weight prior to getting pregnant (hormones, changing medications, etc.), and it’s only going up from here. How did you handle your changing body and/or conquer the comparison game?
Anonymous says
Being pregnant is tough. Just remember that you are you. What happened to others is irrelevant and isn’t helping your baby. Focus on your baby. Who is growing. Inside you. And remember that weight gain is temporary. While I’m still working on losing my baby weight, I know that I will get back to a healthy weight. I gained 40 lbs with my first. I know people who gained between 20-60. So just eat as healthy as you can, exercise, and most importantly enjoy. Congrats mama!!!
Anonymama says
Here is my basic pep talk: Your body is doing what is right for you! Every body, and even every baby, is different. And some people have an easier time with some things or a harder time with others. I like to tell myself that women with easy great pregnancies may someday have really particularly difficult teenagers, generally everyone has some good things and some rough times, even if they never talk about them. And everyone I know that has showed really small or only gained twenty pounds has also worried about if they were gaining enough, or if the baby was too small, and felt weird when people commented on how small they were. (And I gained a lot so would occasionally stick foot in mouth commenting on how great someone looked, thinking of how ridiculously whale-like I myself felt at that point, whilst they were worrying about comments implying they weren’t big enough). So don’t compare yourself to other people, take good care of yourself and trust your body to do what it is supposed to do.
Anonymous says
+ 1 million
Also…think of this as training for all the comments and comparisons about the kid for the rest of your life.
layered bob says
“generally everyone has some good things and some rough times” – I gained 18 pounds with my pregnancy, was SO sick 1st tri and had a really rough delivery (partially-unanesthetized emergency c after a 5-day labor). Hoping next pregnancy to be less sick and gain more weight.
Usually the good things and the rough things are unrelated, just part of the mixed bag of human experience – and pregnancy is a very intense human experience!
LALaw says
Thanks to all for the pep talks! It’s exactly the kind of self-talk I’m working on. Every woman who grows a baby is doing something incredible, and it’s so easy to lose sight of the larger picture. And VERY true that this comparison thing is just the beginning when it comes to babies and kids and milestones and development. Better exercise that muscle now while the stakes are lower!
Just trying not to feel ridiculous with my unbuttoned pants yet no baby bump over here!
POSITA says
Most likely what you’re seeing at 12 weeks is just bloat. I felt huge at 12 weeks, but was less bloated (and thus smaller) at 14 weeks. I still didn’t pop until well after 20 weeks with my first. Don’t let the bloat fool you; the baby is still tiny. Bloat is just another pregnant symptom. It doesn’t say anything about your ultimate weight gain.
Perhaps splurge on a few transition items of clothing that you’ll be able to wear again post baby to feel better. It takes a loooooong time for true maternity stuff to really fit with baby #1. A few flowy dresses or loose tops may help you transition. Look for stuff that is cut large/long or that is just one or two sizes up, rather than in the maternity section.
Congrats on the baby!
Anonymous says
+1 on bloat. Your uterus doesn’t even move up until 12-13 weeks. I had to wear maternity jeans at 11 weeks cause of bloat and I had actually lost weight in the first trimester due to morning sickness.
Anonymous says
Regarding your MIL and mother’s comments: they were pregnant decades ago. I enjoy hearing stories about pregnancy and babies from my mother and MIL, but realize that memories get hazy over the years, especially with specific numbers like 20 weeks or 20 pounds.
A very common story is for grandmothers to say “my baby was potty trained at one year.” But when pressed, they realize that their baby learned to walk at one year, and was potty trained 1-2 years after that.
Also, I’m not implying that your mother smoked, but a lot of women in my mother’s generation did. That will lead to low birth weights.
Anonymous says
The smoking comment made me giggle. That wound be a great comeback to a weight comment.
Anononymous says
I both gained too much weight (according to one of my OBs) and was measuring too small and had to go in for an extra ultrasound. (Measuring a three dimensional object with a single line is a brilliant idea doctors! Please keep it up!) I was in a total panic about the extra ultrasound and people at work kept thinking I was five months along instead of seven and I’m trying not to scream at them that something was probably HORRIBLY WRONG with the baby and they’re like, “Oh you’re so lucky — you look so good.” And getting obnoxious comments from the OB.
JJ says
I felt the worst about my body towards the end of the first trimester. Wearing maternity clothes actually did wonders for my self-esteem rather than stuffing myself into pre-pregnancy stuff. With both of my pregnancies I held out on maternity clothes until 16-17 weeks and both times when I switched I immediately felt so much better about my body. My encouragement would be to try some maternity pants and jeans–not the full panel ones but the ones with the elastic that can sit below the belly. Hang in there–its more fun when you have a really visible bump and everyone knows that you’re pregnant.
Anon in NOVA says
^YES. I wish I had bought maternity clothes sooner. Just because you’re too bloated for your pre-pregnancy clothes, doesn’t mean you’re “showing”. I wasn’t “showing” until almost 20 weeks, but I certainly couldn’t wear my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans well before that. Switching to maternity clothes will make a world of difference. I did it around 16 weeks and felt like an idiot for not doing it sooner. Especially with the belly band just smashing your regular jeans into your skin all day.
Cb says
I’m 13 weeks and my tights are rolling around and making me feel fat and bloated today so commiserations. And what is it with moms? Mine swears up and down she didn’t show until 5 months+ and I’m skeptical….
Anonymous says
Grandmothers have amnesia. Seriously. They will tell you that their babies slept well, never shared their bed, that they hardly gained weight pregnant, etc…
Janie says
I had twins and was showing by the time I told anyone at 13 weeks, and was told by my doctor I had to gain 20 pounds by 20 weeks, which I did easily. People were saying “not too long now!” before 30 weeks.
I felt better about it once my belly made me look pregnant and not just a little fat. Then I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t that I was huge, it was that all together my children and I were a lot of body. In other words, WE were huge. It really worked for me.
jlg says
i would say don’t buy:
– more than 1 or 2 packs of diapers b/c you don’t know whether what you pick will work (esp w/ #1) based on size/shape and being stuck with a case full of diapers that don’t hold up to heavy wetting or blowouts is both expensive and frustrating (this is why i’m not a fan of diaper showers, among other reasons)
– baby shoes b/c you have no clue what size feet baby will have when he/she gets to the point of actually needing shoes
– more than one stroller — buy what you think you will use the most based on your lifestyle and wait to see how it works out before you get more than one b/c then you have time to see if (1) you really do need more than 1 and (2) what you love/hate about your first stroller so you don’t repeat the same issues with a second
– i would buy a moby or similar wrap as an entry-level baby carrier rather than a soft structured carrier (ergo, beco, etc) b/c the latter are almost impossible to use at first if you have a c-section and you will still want a way to carry baby with hands free
Anonymous says
i am happy that I purchased a baby bag before I had my child. I took the time to see what was available and figure out what I needed. I chose a smaller messenger style bag (Storksak Jamie). It has been a great choice for me. I wanted a gender neutral bag, that had an insulated section for bottles, and could organize the diapers, etc so that everything was easily located. The bag I selected easily fits in the basket up under the stroller but is small enough that it is not inconvenient to carry when I am without the stroller.
Mikaela Gamboa says
I didnt buy a diaper bag since i received some from my baby shower with my first child. They all ripped off in time and in itself theyre already heavy for me without its contents! I use ordinary back]ack with lots of pockets which way more cheaper than diaper bags. Moms also dont need to buy bottle sterilizers cause a big pot is okay to sterilize baby bottles etc. Also diaper pail theres no need for it
AnonMN says
we have a dog that loves to tear apart diapers, so diaper pails are an absolute necessity for us unless we want stinky diapers in our kitchen garbage (we don’t). I feel like most of these things are a know yourself/your space/etc, and wait to purchase if you can.
Anon in NOVA says
Amazon Prime is really a huge game changer for the whole ‘what should you buy when you’re pregnant’ conversation. We didn’t have it back in my day! (I said that in an old lady voice, but it’s true). Worst case scenario you deal for MAX a couple of days (maybe even just a few hours based on where you live)
Andrea says
I disagree with this. A new mom will need a diaper bag. You will regret not getting one. Now getting one. Now a 1400 diaper bag???!! Maybe not. But get a diaper bag.
Casey says
I have jujube backpack. That was gift that o
will be useing this time but i am packing for s new born and a toddler