Family Friday: Girls’ Striped Three-Quarter Sleeve Boat-Neck Tunic

It’s nice to see that Amazon is expanding the number of lines they make themselves and carry — and this one, Scout + Ro, is designed for little girls. They’ve got a ton of affordable pieces that are getting a lot of good reviews. This boat-neck tunic top comes in three different colors of stripes and has a really lovely Parisian/French vibe. It’s got a 4.4/5.0 rating from 30+ reviews and is $12.50 (with Prime and free returns). Scout + Ro Girls’ Striped Three-Quarter Sleeve Boat-Neck Tunic

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  1. This is cute! I think my kiddo’s wardrobe is 30 percent Brett shirts already but I may have to get one more. Nice find!

  2. SouthofBoston says:

    Does anyone know the name of the Facebook group where readers of this site sell clothes? I have an Isabella Oliver maternity suit to sell.

  3. Crossposted from main s!te: Do I need to get multiple quotes for life insurance? If so, do I just ask local friends for recs or do some online calculators? Is there a benefit to coupling it with other policies?

    I am way behind on this and want to get it done ASAP.

    • I know our home insurance bundled it with our car insurance. Liberty Mutual is who we use.

    • Anonymous says:

      We got a quote from the company that does our home, car, and umbrella policy (Amica). It seemed high, so I did a quick online quote from Liberty Mutual and State Farm, and the Amica one turned out to be in range of those, so we went with it. They give us a discount for having all our policies with them.

    • Anonymous says:

      Best easiest way to get life ins is to go through a broker who can do the comparisons for you and get you the best rate. I have no affiliation just a very happy customer of intelliquote dot com

  4. Silly question of the day: Kiddo’s daycare has show-and-tell on Friday. The teachers say it helps their confidence to stand up and talk about something to their friends. Today, Kiddo firmly said “No” to a couple of my ideas and wanted to bring the same toy that he brought yesterday. I immediately said fine and started gathering stuff to head out the door.

    When I talked to DH later, he said he wanted to push back but didn’t because I had already said yes to Kiddo. I told DH that it doesn’t matter if Kiddo brings the same toy every Friday for a year–I guess I meant it doesn’t matter to me, but I also don’t see how bringing the same toy hurts Kiddo or detracts from the goals of show-and-tell. DH thought Kiddo should branch out. Does anyone have an opinion on this?

    • I say let him bring whatever he wants. You offered. He gave his opinion and seems firm in it. Maybe keep offering but I wouldn’t pick this particular battle.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      I agree with you – if the point is to get kiddo up to the front of the room and say something to their friends, who cares if it’s the same thing?

    • I nannied my nephews in my younger years and took them to Story Hour at the library and there were a couple kids that brought the same thing for show and tell each week, or just alternated through a couple toys all year. Completely typical! But, I would think it’s fine to really encourage him to branch out too without making it a battle.

    • Our Show & Tell was a theme every week — so it might be something you find on the farm or something that starts with B. This helped the kids branch out. If it is free choice every week, I don’t see a problem with bringing the same item. I might talk through what he wants to share to share about the toy, and make sure that he is saying something different each time.

      I guess if you don’t care and your husband does — it is up to him to pack to the item each week!

  5. Am I doing this right? says:

    7 1/2 year old has OPINIONS on what to wear to school. As long as it fits, is weather appropriate, and is clean I let it happen.

    Turns out her classroom runs very warm once the heat turns on and she ended up changing into a spare t-shirt mid-day yesterday. My new solution is to just keep an extra t-shirt and sneakers in her backpack so she can change into them if necessary. I’m thinking that the best way to learn how to set up a versatile outfit is (supported) trial and error. (To add to the fun – I didn’t buy the majority of these clothes for her. If I had, they would be much more layer-able).

    Anyone have any other magic solutions to this or is this the best one.

    • Anonymous says:

      I do the same with my six year old.

      She wears what she wants but there is an extra leggings, t-shirt and underwear in a large ziploc in her backpack. That way if she has a bathroom accident, slips something on herself at lunch or she is too hot/cold she can change.

      • Am I doing this right? says:

        Uh yeah. So that Ziploc is going in her backpack too.

        Parenting a toddler and parenting a 7 1/2 year old are shockingly similar…

        • Anonymous says:

          LOL – I’m honestly planning on leaving it in there until she finishes high school. Extra leggings/undies/t-shirt would have saved me many an embarrassing moment in the high school cafeteria or bathroom (especially when dealing with first periods).

  6. paging legally brunette says:

    leg cramps: My 3.5 year old has struggled with these. Ped recommended and seems to really work: making sure he is hydrated. Stretching before bed. Motrin.

    • Thank you! I thought as much as well, my guy loves his milk but does not love his water as much. Great point.

  7. Anonymous says:

    We have a several cats. One in particular is extremely shy and reclusive (he will find the most obscure hiding spots in our house–right now his favorite place is inside our hide-a-bed sofa). He has occasionally peed on clothes in the past and is doing so again, which we think is at least partially related to stress from baby-related changes in the house. The vet has cleared him of UTIs. However, my husband has a strong aversion to some of the solutions we’ve been offered and particularly does not like the sight of an uncovered catbox. He has a stronger sense of smell than I do, so he notices odors before I can and I worry that he thinks I’m willing to live in a smelly house (which of course I’m not). He also never really bonded with this particular cat.

    We’re going to try brand new boxes, an alternative litter option (we currently use Feline Pine clumping), at least one box in another place in the house, enzyme sprays to clean afflicted items, and Feliway. However, I can’t help feeling like the cards are already stacked against the kitty. Has anybody been in a similar situation and made it work? I really love this cat, but I’m worried about this becoming a lasting issue in my marriage.

    • Rehomed Kitty says:

      Not exactly the same thing, but we rehomed our cat recently to live with another family member. I wish we had done something sooner. We had two cats and one of them just never adjusted to the baby. I kept thinking that things would get better as the baby got older, but they just didn’t. So all of the sudden it seemed that I had a three year old, a cat that didn’t like the “baby” (who isn’t a baby anymore), a mom and dad who were sick and tired of constantly dealing with issues with the cat., and a cat who seemed depressed and anxious. Honestly no one was happy in the situation. That pushed me over the edge because the cat used to be so wonderful and happy and affectionate and I knew that she deserved a family that could bring her back to her old self.

      In our situation, I know that I could have solved the cat’s problems with more time and attention and energy, but I did not have that time and energy and attention and won’t be getting any of it back anytime soon. I’m not perfect and I’m not afraid to say that my own family and marriage and selfish needs took priority over the cat. I have approximately 25 minutes to myself each day and I wasn’t going to give them up for the cat.

      We were lucky that a family member took her in, so we still get to see pictures, and knew that she was going to a loving and safe home, etc. And she is back to her old self. They have multiple cats and she is now the favorite, just like she used to be our favorite. and really the situation is so much better for EVERYONE.

      So if you feel the need to do something about the situation, try to look at it from all sides and don’t try to put off the situation like I did. Your cat is very important–it is a living being that you have obligations to. But your baby, your husband, and your marriage are all very important too, and you have to keep your priorities in mind.

      • “Your cat is very important–it is a living being that you have obligations to.” It sounds like you did the best thing for the cat, too. Rehoming to a good place is not the same thing as dropping the cat off at the shelter or abandoning her on the side of the street.

    • Anonymous says:

      I know you said your vet cleared kitty of UTIs but what about kidney stones? We had a cat with stones that caused problems, and most of the typical diversions people suggest for litter box issues didn’t work because of the underlying medical issue.

      If you have time and energy to devote to this now, I would. Once the spot becomes the pee spot it’s hard to undo that behavior. Can you add safe spots for the kitty in each room? Places where the baby can’t get to him, and are quiet/dark? We even have one in the nursery and that helps our anxious kitty a lot.

    • Strategy mom says:

      We are dealing with this exact thing right now. We’ve been giving the cat xanax and just spent 3k on new basement carpets bc the pee smell was so bad. I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that he isn’t happy in our family now that we have kids. We think we are going to try rehoming him and finding an older couple that has a calmer environment. We’ve been struggling with this and trying every imaginable option for the past 3 years, and at some point we aren’t doing the cat any favors, but it kills me to have to do this

    • Anonymous says:

      Is it possible the cat is feeling territory threatened? Like seeing/smelling neighbor cats?

      Sending best wishes for a good outcome.

  8. Would you... says:

    My 4 y/o has a play date with a neighbor. It’s just far away enough that she can’t walk alone (it’s down a busy (sidewalked) road and a few houses into the neighborhood).

    It’s when my baby should be napping. It is at absolute max a 10 minute RT walk, probably more like 6.

    I’m thinking of leaving the baby (16 months, sleeps like a log, for hours in the afternoon) in the house and walking my kid over. I’ll have the monitor and it’ll be maybe only 5 min that the monitor is out of range. This seems I worse than going outside to weed the far part of the yard.

    Is this completely irresponsible?

    • Anonymous says:

      Unfortunately, yes, I think this is a bad plan. If it’s so close, can neighbor come pick up your kid? And you’ll arrive for picking up at the end of the playdate (with baby in tow)?

      • avocado says:

        Yes, I’d ask the neighbor to come pick her up and explain that it’s because baby will be napping. In my kid’s circle, it is pretty common for the hosting parent to pick up and/or drop off the visiting kid, so your request probably won’t seem at all unusual.

    • layered bob says:

      I would do this. There have been times the baby has woken up and I couldn’t get to them for five minutes for other reasons even when I was in the house (hands full of bread dough, holding puking child, whatever). Call ahead to the neighbor and say you’re dropping your kid off but the baby is sleeping so you can’t stay.

    • I recently had to do this out of desperation during an emergency. I was gone for a grand total of 3 minutes and I was a wreck the entire time. I’m not a helicopter parent but I just would not do this unless it was a true emergency.

      • Anon in NYC says:

        Same. I get very anxious when I need to take my dog outside and leave my 2 year old sleeping in her crib, when I’m only a few flights down and no more than 20 feet away from the front entrance to my building but am outside the range of our monitor.

    • I’ve done similar (baby was sleeping and my dog had diarrhea and needed to go out. I was nervous and nearly had a heart attack but I don’t think it’s actually irresponsible. If you can ask neighbor to pick up you kid that would probably be easier but I wouldn’t judge if you choose to go.

    • I’m not saying you *should* do this, but we have a child monitor app (literally called “Baby Monitor”) on our phones that allows a connection with cellular service, so it would allow you to do the walk without ever being out of the monitor’s range. That leaves the questions, though, of how you’d respond if you heard something on the monitor, or what might happen elsewhere in the house that you couldn’t hear on the monitor.

      We use the app when we garden (real gardening) in the backyard while our toddler naps–our router is upstairs and in the front of the house, so it doesn’t reach the backyard. You can use a device that only has wireless (like an old phone or a tablet) in the house as the child monitor and your phone as the parent monitor on cellular service. The app costs about $5.

    • Does your baby nap well in the stroller? I’d probably make it “family walk” time and just make part of the walk go by the friend’s house. And then both baby and I would get some fresh air in.

      If your baby doesn’t nap well in the stroller, then you do you and I wouldn’t judge you, but I’d have an irrational aversion to this myself. I can’t explain why though.

    • Honestly, I would do this. If you can, I’ve facetimed my iPad so that I can watch the whole time. Or have the neighbor meet you halfway. I’d be more likely to do this than let a 4 y/o walk by themselves – the chance of an issue is much higher.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I know its really early for this, but if I don’t start now I’ll never get it done. What christmas/holiday crafts do you have your kids make for grandparents/caregivers? I’m looking for easy projects that a 2 year old and 4 year old can do and can easily ship. Thanks in advance!

    • avocado says:

      The rolled beeswax candle kit from HearthSong is great for kids that age.

      • Diana Barry says:

        Eh, I wouldn’t do this. It needs a LOT of hands-on supervision and the candles that come out are not really usable. I would have them do finger paintings instead or something like that.

        • avocado says:

          We had to provide hands-on supervision too. We found that the pillar-style candles worked pretty well and burned. The tapers were trickier.

    • Our son’s daycare had the kids decorate small plates for Valentine’s day that say “LOVE” and the “O” was our son’s handprint in red. One of the teachers wrote the “L” “V” and “E” with a black marker. Our bedroom has red accents so I bought a $3 plate stand and it coordinates really well and looks really nice, as well as being a super adorable keepsake. You could do something similar in a color that would coordinate with the grandparent’s house or just a neutral color.

    • We’ve done Christmas ornaments (fingerprint rudolphs, christmas trees out of sculpey with fingerprint ornaments). We also did sculpey ring bowls one year ( We’ve also done painted ceramic tiles as hot plates (sprayed with clear engine paint to make the heat proof). TBH, I think the ornaments go over the best (you can always use another ornament), but I’m on the verge of tossing everything else and they’re my kids!

  10. What’s your favorite robot vacuum? We had a neato a couple years ago, but it kept dying (after 3 months). I’m also going to hire a housekeeper – any tips? Just use care dot com? I live far from my work colleagues so they are not really good resources.

    • ElisaR says:

      I am mildly obsessed with my roomba by irobot. It’s 3 years old now and they have come out with new versions, so it’s a little dated but it is seriously one a great addition to our home….

      I struggled finding a housekeeper, but went with recommendations from neighbors/friends in town. The first one we worked with for about 6 months but wasn’t a good a fit, the new one seems better for us. Both recommendations were local-word-of-mouth.

    • Another vote for roomba. We got whatever the latest model was last year – I think the main differences are that the newer ones have more suction and also have app connectivity, which is nice if you want to control it while you’re away. We bought a couple extra tower things, I think they’re called lighthouses, which can delineate areas you want it to NOT go – highly recommend a few extras of those if you get a roomba.

  11. PregLawyer says:

    Did anyone see the discussion yesterday on the main site about kids protesting at school? It started with a mom posting about her daughter wanting to learn more about the NFL protests (kneeling during national anthem). There was a small discussion about whether parents of girls, specifically, should dissuade their daughters from engaging in protests out of a fear that they might be ostracized by their peers. I will try to be generous to the posters who were advocating for that point, and interpret their statements to mean that parents should tell their kids that it’s okay to protest (or advocate certain social justice views), but that they might be ridiculed, bullied, etc. because of it.

    Anyway, because this is the Moms site, and I love the Moms site, I wanted to see the views on that issue over here. I’m pregnant with my second right now–a girl–and have pretty strong views about how I plan to raise her. I guess that, although of course I don’t want her to be bullied, I’m much more concerned with raising a strong woman who advocates for others and stands up for what she believes in; even if it makes her unpopular. Is that bad parenting? Should I instead try to protect a kid from mean girls, and push her away from things (activities, beliefs, clothes, etc.) that will make her “unpopular”?

    • avocado says:

      Okay, so I will out myself and say that I was the OP on that post (I only post anonymously on the main page). I think my position was somewhat misconstrued and/or I didn’t express myself clearly. I am not trying to preserve my daughter’s popularity–in fact, I am happy that she’s started to see through and avoid the “popular” crowd of mean girls and is focusing on her true friends. The issues are:

      1. We live in an extremely conservative area, and many of her closest lifelong friends come from conservative families. None of these families seem to have values that are total deal-breakers (e.g., they don’t seem to be racists). I have had several conversations with the one other liberal mom in the kids’ friend group about the complexities of these friendships. We don’t want to encourage our daughters to hide their beliefs, but we also don’t want them throwing away these friendships. It’s a difficult line to walk and neither of us has figured out the perfect solution.
      2. At school, the risk isn’t so much loss of popularity as the risk of outright bullying. The friend described above was the target of N a z i salutes on the playground and was told that she is going to h e l l because she isn’t Christian. I don’t think a 10-year-old needs to invite that kind of treatment.
      3. We are also worried about unfair grading and other mistreatment by teachers and the administration.

      We took her to the March, she asked for donations to her favorite charity instead of birthday gifts, she has written letters to our representatives, she attended the school board meeting to speak against the new sexist dress code, she has volunteered to do everything from putting up a mural to feeding the homeless at the local anarchist vegan food reclamation cooperative, she stands up for kids who are being bullied at school, and we discuss social issues and politics as a family. I think that’s plenty for a 10-year-old–I don’t think she needs to make herself into some kind of martyr.

      With respect to the anthem protests, she competes for a club and not for the school. The club is more diverse than her school, but I’m not sure what the coaches and team manager think about the anthem protests. I don’t think her group is really old enough to be thinking much about the protest issue, but I don’t know what the older kids will do or what the larger trend is in the sport. I will probably have an open-ended discussion with her about it after we’ve seen what happens at the first couple of meets. We have already discussed it in the context of professional men’s sports.

      • CPA Lady says:

        FWIW, I totally got what you were trying to say, and thought that some of the folks over there were being willfully obtuse. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing.

        I was in a similar situation as a kid and did something cringe-worthy while Taking A Stand with social implications I did not understand. It ended up getting my family ostracized at my church because I didn’t know there was such a thing as “social politics”. I wish I had gone into it with eyes wide open. I would probably have still Taken A Stand, but I would have done it differently, hopefully in a way that was both more socially palatable and more likely to get what I wanted.

        • PregLawyer says:

          Honestly, I was more distracted by the discussion about “Champions” than the OP’s posts.

          For me, this is all about the ongoing tension between doing (or letting your daughter do) what you perceive as right, and comprising those views to make it more palatable to people who you view as wrong. For example, telling your daughter not to wear certain clothes because she might attract unwanted attention from men vs. taking the position that she should wear whatever she wants because she shouldn’t compromise herself just because of [email protected] culture.

          Of course, the obvious answer is to just talk about all of these things. At some point, however, parents are supposed to guide their children to desired behavior. My struggle? curiosity? (not sure what word I want here) is when push comes to shove, do you let your kid do the thing that will cause them pain, because “society” is wrong, or do you protect them from it?

          • avocado says:

            I think you tell your daughter not to wear those clothes until she is an adult (in college?), when she will hopefully be mature enough to make her own choices with full understanding of the potential consequences and the ability to deal with them. That is what I tell my kid about a lot of things–drinking, cursing, etc. These are adult behaviors, and kids need to wait until their brains are developed enough to perceive the subtleties of the situation and handle the risk-benefit calculus.

          • Anon in NYC says:

            I think that there are things that are objectively wrong (institutionalized racism), and things that are not objectively wrong but that many people (particularly in more conservative areas) view as wrong and not something that should be done (kneeling during the National Anthem).

            I’m honestly not sure what I would do in this situation. I know that I would instinctively want my pre-teen to not become a target for bulling or harassment by her peers (or, as avocado noted, her teachers/administrators). I would also worry about her safety in school / the community at large. We can all say that those people’s behavior is on them (and it is), but that can be a withering amount of scrutiny and hostility for a kid who has to get to 18 before they can leave their hometown.

            I think that that’s very different concern than from encouraging your kids to have certain beliefs, getting them involved in various political activities, or letting your kids experiment with clothing.

          • I struggle with this, but I also have visceral reactions to babies who go to marches or wear obvious political slogans on their tshirts. At some point, it seems like the kids are just walking billboards for their parents’ beliefs. I don’t think a pre-teen grasps the nuances enough to understand the consequences, so I don’t think it’s fair to encourage them to Take A Stand that will ostracize them. The parents are presumably not moving away, so the poor kid will be stuck with the bullying and loneliness.

            I think you can try to discuss it with your kid, but you can do a lot of damage either way (either encourage her to value safety over justice, or encourage her to subject herself to hostility in the name of justice) and neither answer is easy.

            Like CPA Lady, I Took A Stand on something in junior high that got my entire family kicked out of our church. We lived in a small town, and we had bricks thrown through our windows and horrible things spray-painted on our house, lockers, and property. My family disagreed with me, but supported my right to Take A Stand. They couldn’t afford to move away, so we were stuck. The rest of my teenage years were awful. My brother and I haven’t set foot in that town since we graduated high school. It was miserable and I still get horrible flashbacks. Obviously I thought the issue was important, and it was, but I’m not sure it was worth the sacrifice of my next 5 years (and my younger brother’s, and arguably the rest of my family’s).

      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t have an answer on the anthem thing. I’m in Canada and they aren’t played for school/club sports in my city. But, #2 is so terrifying. I hope that kid was expelled. I am so sorry to hear that you have to deal with parenting in that environment.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I grew up in a very liberal household in a blue state and attended middle school and high school in what I now realize was an incredibly liberal school. I had school friends who cross-dressed regularly with no repercussions. I slow-danced with my girl friends at dances, and nobody blinked an eye or called us names.

      And then I got to college in a purple state. I was so confused about the expectations of people who didn’t swear, covered their shoulders and necks in public, were publicly and rabidly patriotic, displayed guns in their college dorm rooms (!!!), and publicly took stances that women with children should not work or should be subservient to their husbands. I vaguely knew that those people existed, but didn’t think I’d ever interact with them or, the horror, be judged by them in a way that mattered in my life.

      It still comes as a surprise to me when I find out that my career has been hampered or I face repercussions for being an outspoken, independent, professional woman with opinions. I find myself wishing my parents had warned me about that, and had taught me to navigate it somehow. But as a parent, I wonder – how could I ever prepare my kiddo for that? I have no idea. I don’t want my daughter bullied, but if she’s bullied for voicing her opinions and being a leader, I guess….I’ll just be there for her and hope we come out of it OK? And let her know that I’m proud of her, help her find a like-minded community so she has a sphere where she can find comfort, and let my heart break with hers. I don’t know. It’s hard.

  12. Would you... says:

    I think this won’t thread right but..:for those saying no- why?

    If the kiddo wakes up and I’m in the shower, I let her cry. She’s in a crib, not a bed. She’s not an infant. I nap or go into the basement where we get no monitor reception for 10+ minutes at a time. Our house is in an extremely safe town/neighborhood. And I would be sending the kid into the yard and waving goodbye, not going in.

    Neighbor offered to come pick her up already, this is just more of a theoretical because this happens a lot (my kid sleeps 12:30-4!) and I am just generally curious about how/why this would be so unsafe vs other scenarios.

    • avocado says:

      Why? Three letters: CPS

      • Anonymous says:

        I mean, OK this is the actual why, but to push back – WHY should CPS be worried about a mom who helping her older kid be safe and not actually leaving her napping child in any danger? I mean, if she leaves the SLEEPING child in a SAFE place for less than 10 minutes how is that endangerment?

        (Not OP, and I have done similarly and “worse” but also feel uncomfortable with it because of fear of being judged)

        • avocado says:

          It’s probably not actually dangerous, but that’s not what matters.

        • Anonymous says:

          It’s the fact that the parent is not present. The baby is asleep when she leaves but wakes up and climbs out of the crib and falls. Or the stove gets accidentally left on, or there is a gas leak, or a million different unlikely scenarios that require a parent to be present to address.

          Things can change in a flash with kids. You don’t think your kid can unlock the front door until one day the deadbolt is turned and they are standing in the driveway in their pyjamas. Kids 1 and 2 – no way, Kid #3 is the reason we have a second deadbolt 6 feet off the ground on every door.

      • avocado says:

        To clarify–in our state (not our neighborhood), people have called CPS and CPS has threatened to remove children for things like letting a kid walk a few blocks alone, leaving a kid in the car in the parking lot for just a minute, or leaving a 17-year-old home alone at night. So prudent parents will not leave a kid under 12 home or in the car alone, ever, for any length of time. Being out in the yard with a baby monitor seems to be acceptable.

    • I posted above and that was my reasoning to some extent to when I went out: why is it so bad to go outside my building; if we lived in a suburban house no one would worry about me doing laundry in a basement or letting the dog out in the backyard while baby slept. That said, I felt more comfortable with this when baby was an infant and once she started getting up in the crib I started to worry that she could develop a new skill suddenly and something could go wrong.

    • I would just be way too paranoid and anxious. Sure, it’s unlikely anything will happen, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it and that is reason enough for me not to do it.

      • Anonymous says:

        exactly. On a risk matrix – the risk of something happening is super low but the possible consequences if something does could be very high.

    • To me the main difference is that if you’re in the yard, basement, across the street, etc., you can run in asap to assist if needed. Earthquake, house fire, etc. – super rare, but at that age the littles rely on you or other caregiver to get to safety.

      • Would you... says:

        Ok, so this makes sense to me. I’m trying to put a finger on why this feels SO FINE to me and SO NOT FINE to others. I mapped the distance and it’s .25 miles by sidewalk/road. It’s .12 miles (about 750ft) in “as the mother runs through peoples lawns to get back to her house” distance to my back door. From the far edge of my property to the same back door is .07 miles.

        • ElisaR says:

          and if you’re avoiding busy roads (my crazy-mind pictures a car running off a busy road near me and running me over on the sidewalk leaving my baby home forever…..) it’s probably even a safer risk.

        • See for me, I still wouldn’t feel comfortable with that distance – if you’re out of monitor range, you’re not going to know there’s a house fire promptly like you would in the backyard. Not trying to start a debate; sharing since you seem genuinely interested in hearing thoughts on this. Everyone will have different comfort levels and risk tolerance (though as noted by other commenters, our individual risk tolerance may not align with requirements by state and/or neighbors’ thresholds for CPS calls), but I do think framing it like this helps explain why it feels not fine to many people even if you know babe is safe in crib. Glad that you have a neighbor willing to help you out so that this is just theoretical!

    • Anonymous says:

      Do you use a car seat? Why?

      It’s not the chances of something happening, it’s how serious those consequences are if something does. What if there is a house fire? What if your older child is in an accident? You can’t be helping your older child and getting back to your baby at the same time. What if something happens to you? How will anyone know to check the house for a baby? Don’t take that chance.

  13. Would you... says:

    Just realized part of my mental perspective is that they live 6-7 houses away, depending on if we take the shortcut. To me this is just so close! Maybe I’m even overestimating the walk. It’s acre zoning tho.

    • Anonymous says:

      With acre zoning I wouldn’t leave your property – how on earth would you get back if something happened?

  14. Thoughts on freezer stash building after recovering from a bout of mastitis?

    I was pumping 1-2 times a day to work on my stash (I go back in about 6w, and have prob 80oz right now). After a slow start to this breeding gig I now have a near oversupply and that coupled with LO starting to go longer between feedings = mastitis.

    On the advice of friends & LC I stopped the pumping to keep the oversupply in check. Should I just call it quits on building the stash, since it’s a healthy size? Should I pump but only a “half-pump” to discourage more oversupply?

    I have this mentality like I need to stockpile ALL THE MILK but I don’t have a real reason behind this (I made it clear to work that I wanted them to reimburse if I had to ship milk home from a long trip, so realistically a couple days supply is fine). Any thoughts?

    • ElisaR says:

      i was kind of obsessed with stockpiling milk….. now my son is 18 months old and I have a ton of milk in my freezer that never got used and i can’t bring myself to get rid of it. Yes, it has gone bad….. but I just can’t do it.

      • ElisaR says:

        my point is – if you have a good stockpile already i wouldn’t worry about making it bigger!

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I would stop pumping and let your supply regulate. I had oversupply issues for the first 6 months and it was unpleasant. The “half pumping” doesn’t help, because (a) it tends to generate mostly foremilk without the benefit of the fattier hindmilk that keeps baby full and (b) the number of times you pump or nurse matters more than how much you produce in a sitting. Pumping or nursing more times will cause increased milk production, even if you don’t completely empty each time.

  15. Newbie says:

    Another horrifying story about a toddler crushed by a dresser in today’s Washington Post.

    We are not planning on staying in our tiny place once baby is mobile, but just in case when do I need to have a calendar deadline as to securing all furniture if we aren’t yet moved. 6 months?

    • Anon in NYC says:

      How horrible. This is dependent on your kid. If your kid is moving around early, do it earlier. If your kid is slow to move (mine was), you can push it back a bit.

    • Anonymous says:

      2 months? My baby was a super early crawler at 4 months but even before then she was rolling around everywhere and pulling on all kinds of things.

      • Newbie says:

        Yikes! Thanks for the reality check. I think we’ll do the nursery stuff as soon as we buy it then for peace of mind. Appreciate it.

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