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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Excited Anonymous! says
Hi! I finally scheduled an appointment at a fertility clinic and am excited to get started. Question for anyone that has gone this route: How involved was your husband? I kind of want to go to first two appointments (consult and then testing for me) by myself and let him join for his testing and then the fourth visit which I think is when a plan is finally developed. I think he wants to go for everything – but only because he thinks he’s supposed to. For whatever reason I feel weird about him joining….
Thanks!
Noelle says
I would ask the clinic if he needs to be there for the first appointment. My husband definitely needed to be there for ours — they had just as many questions for him as they did for me. But every clinic could be different.
anon says
He should definitely, definitely be there for the initial consult if you are going to a clinic anything like mine. Whether you want him there for your testing is up to you. Personally, bloodwork and ultrasounds were no big deal to me, but it was nice to have someone there for the HSG, which you may or may not have. After the initial consult and followup planning meeting, I handled all the communications with nurse and doctor and we didn’t go back in together for a sit-down, but that’s us.
TBK says
Ugh, HSG. Yeah, I appreciated having my husband in the waiting room for that one. I was terrified and it turned out to be super painful, just as I’d feared. Fun times!
TBK says
Unless you KNOW it’s a “you” problem, he needs to be there. He’ll need to do tests, too. Plus, the consult part, assuming you’re talking about options, is just as relevant to him as it is to you. If your insurance doesn’t cover treatment, or covers only some treatments or only treatments in a certain order, he needs to know success rates and costs to be part of the decision-making process. And there are ethical issues, too. (e.g., If you wind up with IVF, you might have more embryos than you want to use. Are you both okay with that? If so, what do you do with the ones you don’t use? Would you be willing to donate them to another couple — i.e., take a chance you’ll have a biological child that’s not yours? Or would you donate them for research?) Finally, a lot of these treatments are really rough on the woman. It’s only fair for him to know what you might need to go through, especially if you will need his support.
TBK says
Also, get over the “weird.” Seriously. I get it. But get over it. Being pregnant and giving birth — all full of getting over the weird all on their own. Adding fertility treatments into it? You’re going to be so much more familiar with each other’s body everythings after this. Nothing says intimacy like your husband holding your hand while a doctor uses a needle to inject an embryo through your cervix, which is all projected onto a screen on the wall for all three of you, plus the nurse, to watch.
pockets says
You’re much nicer than I am. I demanded that my husband come to every appointment, even when it was just a 10 minute quickie how-are-you-feeling. I think I let him out of one when he had a conference call at the same exact time as the appointment. He even sat in the waiting room while I took the 3 hr glucose challenge test (he had a whole setup and turned it into a mini-office while I was in a dark room watching a movie on an ipad and about to pass out).
LC says
My husband came with me to the initial couple of appointments — it was actually mandatory at my clinic. The first appointment they ran tests on him, and the second they discussed the results with both of us.
After that, there was no need for my husband to be there, strictly speaking, so I went to a bunch of appointments (ultrasounds etc.) without him. For me at least, that turned out to be a mistake. I got bad news at several of these appointments (“oh, that drug didn’t work”; “oh, no eggs this time, let’s try again”) and it was hard to be there alone. After that my husband started coming with me whenever possible — it was tricky sometimes because the timing of many appointments is somewhat out of your control, but it was worth it for me.
Happy ending: Now I’m 30 weeks pregnant. And I still bring my husband to every single appointment!
Other says
I appreciated my husband’s perspective of the discussions as well. We often absorb different things from the same conversation, and we hear the same things differently. He absorbed more of the process, which was important later, and he had a more realistic view of the diagnosis. Echoing the other comments, it’s also important that he be checked as well.
Anon says
Assuming you get the normal testing done, your husband probably has to go for the initial consultation where the Dr. will tell you what tests you need to get done. Your husband will likely have to get his sperm tested and get a blood test. You will have to get a sonogram of your reproductive organs, a pelvic exam, a blood test, and an HSG to make sure your tubes aren’t blocked, so most of the appointments will be yours. After all these tests are done, you will have another consultation and the Dr. will go over the test results and you will get a diagnosis and go over your options for treatment and your husband should be there for this consultation as well.
Anon says
And BTW- if you have been trying for long enough for your insurance to cover the fertility treatments and testing, you will get a diagnosis. If there is nothing identifiable wrong with either you or your husband, you will be diagnosed with “Unexplained Infertility” and the Dr. will recommend treatments (IVF, IUI plus medication, etc.).
I’m telling you this, because I wasn’t emotionally prepared for the Unexplained Infertility diagnosis and to have a Dr. tell me I was infertile affected me VERY deeply, even though I thought the diagnosis was dubious. The Dr. was not going to just tell us to go home and keep trying, and the diagnosis allowed him to start treatments. Do I think there actually was anything wrong with us? No, but we had a medication-assisted IUI and now we have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. I’m now 13 weeks along again at age 35 and we got pregnant the old fashioned way. Just be prepared, and definitely have your husband there at the post-testing consultation.
EE says
A bit late to this but just wanted to say that I started seeing my RE before we’d even started ttc because I’d been off the pill a while and knew I wasn’t ovulating (and suspected I had PCOS). Now we have been trying for a number of months (medicated).
Anyway, my husband has never been to my clinic or met my doctor. When we started upping some of my doses, I insisted he have a semen analysis because I didn’t want to be pumping myself full of this stuff if it was futile. He ended up doing that at an outside lab though. She also wanted us to do genetic testing, but I’d had my OB/GYN run all that earlier so we were set on that front.
If you’re not SURE you’re the problem though, he’ll get looped in pretty quickly.
Anon says
What is everyone’s go to for baby pajamas? We have Hanna Anderson and do enjoy them, but I also just love plain old Carters terry cloth snap up PJs and much to my dismay now that my son is size 12months, they don’t make the cotton or terry cloth sleep and play PJs in his size. When you go up to 12 months they are a different kind of PJ, more narrow and skinny (I understand that this is for suffocation safety but his little turkey thighs don’t fit well in these) and they all zip, whereas I kind of like snaps. Anyone know of size 12 month or bigger snap up PJs, plus if they aren’t also super skinny?!
Anonymous says
We discovered that snaps became impossible sometime after 12 months. We preferred them when she was little but won’t even consider them now. They tend to come undone when she runs and jumps (which often happens during the pre-bed hypers). And its impossible to get her to let us snap her up. We had a couple of 18 month snap sleepers and just donated them unworn. Not worth the struggle.
We have a lot of Gap and Carters PJs. Starting around 18 months, she started really liking two piece sets that she can put on herself.
CHJ says
+1. Around 12-18 months, we switched over to PJ tops and pants. This was driven more by the lack of options for one-piece PJs in his size, because I love him in one pieces and think they’re adorable. Most of ours are from Old Navy and Gap, and they definitely run large so you should be able to find a good fit. We also do t-shirt + diaper + sleep sack (no pants) in the summer, which is DS’s favorite.
JJ says
They zip, but the Children’s Place has one-piece footie sleeper pajamas that we used on both of my boys. I think they go up to 3T, and they’re always on sale. Old Navy also usually has zip-up PJs on sale.
Around 12 months, though, we switched to two-piece PJs just because it made diaper changes much easier.
Other says
Second the Children’s Place. My older son wore their one piece zip up jammies all the way through 3T after an unfortunate situation where a curious hand found its way into a dirty diaper. I did not go for two piece jammies until he was out of diapers.
pockets says
Are you sure you’re trying the boy version of the Carter’s PJs, not the girls? I found that the boy versions are substantially baggier/looser.
Otherwise I’m no help. I like the Carter’s zip PJs for my almost 18 month old, and I’m starting to transition into top/short combos from the Gap.
NewMomAnon says
We switched over to two-piece jammies at around 12 months because the zip-up sleepers didn’t work with my kiddo’s chunky middle. Then her feet started getting chilly at night, so at 16 months I tried the sleeper again and discovered that she had grown up and thinned out, and now the sleepers fit nicely again.
As far as snap sleepers go….I won’t even use onesies anymore. My kiddo doesn’t have the patience for me to snap even those couple snaps, much less all the way up a sleeper.
Eileen says
Carters still makes the one pieces in bigger sizes, they’re just not called sleep and play anymore. They’re in the pajama section. We also went to 2 pieces around 12-18 months though.
pockets says
FYI, the email this morning was flagged by gmail and I got the message “Be careful with this message. It contains links to websites hosting malware.” Gmail included this link: https://support.google.com/mail/answer/1366858?hl=en&expand=1
Amelia Bedelia says
mine said that too. I clicked “trust this message” but now I’m a little nervous for doing so . . .
ANP says
Hi friends – another Bellefit corset user reporting back. After reading Kat’s review and the comments on her post about this, I took the plunge and bought one. I’ve been wearing it for about a week, roughly 4-5 out of 7 days (this is because I’m short-waisted so the corset boning stabs me in my sides, right above my ribs). I’ve now decided — because of the stabbing, and because it’s freaking HOT where I live — that I’m going to wear it every other day.
Other than the stabbiness, I have to say that I do like this product! (Well, “like” is a strong word, but I think it performs as advertised). I had terrible diastatis recti after my last baby and am hopeful this will help prevent that from happening again — everything feels more pulled-together, less loosey-goosey than before. And while I tend to always carry extra weight in my tummy, my pooch is definitely smaller at 3 weeks postpartum this time around than it was with my last two kids. Hope this is helpful to someone!
Anon says
Thank you! I am definitely planning on using one of these postpartum but haven’t gotten around to looking into them yet.
VKJ says
Thanks ANP! I always wondered what it would have been like if I wore one after my first, so I’m glad to know that the ship hasn’t sailed for future kiddos. I wore the stretchy panel maternity pants for a good 6 months to have that pulled in feeling. The band does sound miserably uncomfortable but hopefully worth it in the long run! Wishing you cool breezes and plentiful A/C.
Due in December says
Thanks for the review! Also planning on using one of these postpartum. Can I ask whether you are wearing it at night as well? Based on the stabbiness, I’m guessing no.
TK says
I wore mine at night, but I didn’t have the stabby feeling. The pressure actually felt pretty good. I only took it off to shower and run in through the wash every few days – otherwise, wore it all the time. While everyone’s experience will vary (and I don’t know what it would have been like without it), I was back in my pre-preg clothes 3 weeks PP (skirts and pants, anyway – my old shirts didn’t fit until I stopped nursing).
Due in December says
Thanks!
ANP says
You guessed correctly in that I’m not wearing it at night. I may try removing the boning as suggested below though…
3kids says
I had the stabby pains too, so I actually opened up the top of the corset where the boning is and pulled the boning pieces out. It still stays up and works, with less stabbing!
ANP says
Genius!
FVNC says
Sleep question! Thanks in advance for any tips or commiseration.
For the past many months, bedtime has been very easy with my 22 month old. Some milk, a few books, and that’s it. I put her in her crib sleepy or wide awake, and within a few minutes of rolling around or happy babbling, she goes to sleep. In other ways she can be very challenging, so I really value this easy, peaceful part of our day.
Two nights ago, I put her in her crib like always. Ten seconds later, hysterical sobbing. Tried to let her cry it out, but after 30 min she was still going strong and getting more and more upset. After an hour of in-and-out of the room, soothing her, etc., husband finally rocked her to sleep. At 4 am she woke up, screaming commenced, and she could be soothed only by husband sleeping on the floor next to her crib. The same thing happened last night (except I rocked her to sleep right away, minus the hour of back-and-forth). Again, at 4 am exactly she started screaming, but was content to be in her crib as long as I lay beside her on the floor. She’d even pop her head up to check that I was still there.
So it seems this is sudden, intense separation anxiety that is hitting only at night. Any recommendations to sooth her, without us having to be present? Nightlight? Or do we just need to ride out this phase?
POSITA says
We have a 23 month old. She started having similar night episodes at about 21 months. After numerous nights sleeping on the floor, I ended up putting a twin mattress on the floor next to her crib and she would fall asleep holding my hand through the slats. At the worst I had to stay all night because she would keep waking up to check that I was there and would freak out if I was gone. We both got a lot more sleep if I just stayed.
Just as quickly as it started, she seems to be over it now. Knock on wood, she’s slept consistently through the night for about two weeks now without any trouble. Nothing changed in her life that would have provoked the anxiety–I think it was just a phase.
FVNC says
Thanks! Glad your kiddo is sleeping through the night again. Hopefully ours will do the same, soon.
POSITA says
I wanted to add that we only saw anxiety at night and (sometimes) during naps. She was her normal happy self during the day and never protested when we left for work or otherwise.
One night she even insisted that both “mama” and “dada” sleep in the room with her. She was so upset that we eventually obliged.
We also found that sneaking out after she was asleep seemed to make her anxiety worse. We did better if I just stayed so that she would relax a bit.
hoola hoopa says
When our kids experienced a similar spell, we moved them out of the crib and into a toddler or twin bed. They returned to sleeping great.
FVNC says
Thanks, ladies. We’ll see how she does over the next few nights, and go from there.
Jen says
Have a 22 month old and she started wtih nighttime anxiety around 20 months. We moved and transitioned her to a bed (she had started throwing Enormous Tantrums ~18 months when we DARED to put her in the crib. She slept nicely on couch cushions on the floor for a bit and then we got her a big bed….).
We’re now to the point where she gets stories, a song, millk, a kiss, and then she tucks her stuffed animals to sleep. I sit on the floor and/or on the floor outside her room (on a good night) until she falls asleep. It was a really sudden change and we assumed it was because of the move but I think it happened to just be timing…
Moderation? says
Could someone give a quick lesson in what triggers moderation? I seem to always get stuck. Thanks!
Anon says
Kat has never provided a list or guidelines that I am aware of but s!te (replace ! with i) and r3tt3 (replace 3 with e) either alone or as part of a longer word definitely trigger moderation. It can be tricky because these letters appear in normal words you might not expect to be an issue (exquis!te, requis!te, bachelor3tt3). I would guess some curse words and body parts also go into moderation as well as anything spammers might use a lot.
TBK says
Coming off a very frustrating parenting weekend. My guys are 16 months and are getting ALL the teeth. I think they’re working on a total of 9 between the two of them, including many, many molars. One of them basically spent Saturday sobbing (we gave him baby Tylenol, but he was just a mess from the pain, not eating much because of the pain, not sleeping much because of the pain — if his brother just looked at him funny, he completely melted down). Sunday was better, but we were deep into “let’s test all of mommy’s boundaries” territory all day. I think I said nothing but “no” or “that was NOT a nice pet!” or “we don’t play in the dog’s water bowl.” Please tell me 16 months is just a tough age. And that 16 months x 2 is super tough. Lots of movement. No self-preservation. Minimal language. Lots of feelings…and frustration…and whining.
Anonymous says
That does sound like a really tough weekend. We found that baby Advil (ibuprofen) works much better for teething pain than Tylenol. If either of them are in that much pain I wouldn’t hesitate to give drugs. We’ve found that our little one doesn’t deal well with pain. We all end up miserable if we don’t get in front of the pain so that she can sleep and eat.
JJ says
I think 16-24 months was the hardest age to parent. They’re mobile, but not reliably so. They’re into everything, but don’t have the judgment to not do stuff that might hurt them. You can tell them “no” and do time-outs, but there’s no guarantee that they won’t just do it again. Life seemed to get much better once we hit the two-year mark.
Other says
I have a now 4 yo boy, and I recall all the frustrations you are describing at that time. Yes, it’s teeth, and yes, it’s also developmental.
BUT – my guy was also super non-verbal at that age, and really didn’t get language skills until well after 2. I strongly recommend baby sign language. I initially dismissed it as one of those very trendy things you do to ace the preschool interview, but it helped my poor frustrated guy immensely. We didn’t teach many signs, but enough that he could signal what he wanted. “Please” turned into the universal command; he’d sign “please” and point to the object of his desire. “All done” was another universal for him to signal done eating, or done with an activity, etc. “More” helped also. We taught “thank you,” just to get a jump start on manners, but it was less important for him to feel he was being heard. You can also teach individual words, but “please” followed by a gesture was enough context in most situations.
The signs sunk in during meals primarily. We’d sign, while saying the words, and then move his hands to mimic the sign. He got it quickly. He’s now teaching his younger brother the same signs. A book will teach you the basic ones, but frankly, any hand signal works, as long as you, your nanny, and other caregivers in his life are consistent. Other unintended benefits are that he’s now very used to prefacing every request with please, so he’s very polite, and he still falls back on his signs when he’s very frustrated and can’t verbalize what he wants. I *think* it’s actually unintended, but when he melts down, and we ask to calm down/ask for whatever in a big kid voice, he usually signs “please” while asking for it.
Things got SO MUCH BETTER around 21 months with sign language under his belt. He had a language explosion at like 2 years and change, and is now hyper-verbal.
Other says
Oh, and I also think it helped him “feel” like he was being heard. Even as he’s gotten older, he gets very frustrated if I ask him to repeat himself b/c I could not understand what he said. On some level, I’ve wondered if it relates to that time – when he was aware but not able to communicate with us – and that led to all the frustration.
We also always made a point to verbalize whatever he signed, so he’d sign “more please” and point to something, and we’d repeat back “Oh, you’d like more noodles! Of course!” He truly seemed so much happier/fewer meltdowns once we bridged that communication gap. When we spent time with friends whose children had much greater verbal skills around 16 to 18 months, I think it sunk in how much he understood, but could not communicate.
TBK says
We’ve been using signs since they were 6 months, but they still don’t really get it. One of them believes the sign for “more” means “give me strawberries.” The other signs things that make no sense — I’ll ask him “are you all done, or do you want more?” and he’ll sign “all done” “more” “all done” “more.”
Other says
With the second, he may be mimicking what you are saying. In your sentence, you used both “more” and “all done.” It could be that he’s hearing those familiar words, and showing you the familiar sign associated with those words. You may want to break it down, and connect an action to the single sign. So, rather than asking, as you note he’s done, say: “All done” [sign and say it] and lift him out of the seat. When you can tell he clearly wants more of something, say/sign: “More, please!” and hand him more. I think the complex questions won’t work as well until they grasp the signs.
The other one may have connected “more” to the strawberries, and may legit think that he has the universal sign for more strawberries. Invent a new “more” sign and try again? For initially teaching, it does help to do it when you know what they want, i.e., before the frustration sets in.
No guarantee it will work for you, but it did help us.
POSITA says
Our little one found “or” questions confusing for a long time. We try to avoid those to keep from getting ambiguous answers. Try stopping with “Are you all done?”
Baby Signs says
Any recommendations for resources on teaching your baby how to sign?
CapHillAnon says
“Signing Times” videos. They’re great. They’re really straightforward and show a lot of babies / toddlers doing the signs, so you can see it in action.
The sign for “I’m sorry” is still in use in our house (even though we don’t have any babies or toddlers), when someone needs to apologize but just can’t bring herself / himself to do it verbally.
Baby Signs says
Thank you!
Signing says
Yeah, I checked out books from the library on it.
Turns out baby sign language is just, well, between parent/caregiver and child – any modified sign will do. Does that make sense? Just remember to use the sign before, during and after the object/gesture with your child. Make eye contact. Reinforce with your co-parent or co-caregiver or older child. Show the sign in action.
The gist is – your child wants to communicate with you. Show him/her how. Be open to how your child uses the sign – we kept using “all done” at dinner & meal time, but our child didn’t. But then I saw our child gesture “all done” in the bath and stand up – twice! I realized what was going on and rewarded it with positive feedback – hugs, kisses, whatever.
We used a lot of baby signing board books, so our kiddo could see other babies (real & cartoon) using the signs. Our favorite was by Joy Allen. We actually gave copies of the book to grandparents and the daycare provider so that we’d all be “speaking” the same “language”.
POSITA says
We took a signing class and they suggested role play to teach signs. For instance you can sign “drink” and then pretend to pour and drink from a cup in a play kitchen. Or sign “eat” and pretend to eat food. Then you can sign “more” before pretending to eat or drink more.
CHJ says
Any recommendations for how-to books on potty training? I was doing some research on Amazon, but of course the reviewers seem to have very, very strong opinions (good and bad) on the various books and strategies. Any books or websites that have worked well for your families?
hoola hoopa says
I never read a book. I’m not going to say it’s easy or simple, because each kid puts their own spin on it, but I don’t think you really need a book.
– Clear 3 days to be at home together
– Get a potty seat (I prefer the molded plastic ones like ikea or bjorn – no parts, easy to wipe clean) and a bunch of prefolds/rags
– Let child watch you use the toilet and/or potty seat. Talk about it for 2-7 days.
– Morning of Day 1, Remove diaper, give juice/water
– Sit kiddo on potty every 30 or 45 minutes (I like setting a kitchen timer). Read books, play, or watch tv on the potty. I like to have the potty in the main room during the three days for everyone’s convenience and comfort.
– When accidents happen, clean them up matter-of-factly without frustration or punishment.
– When they use the potty GO NUTS with excitement. I prefer to start there, but skittles or m&m are a tried and true reward as well if they need the extra motivation.
– Don’t do nights now. Leave in diapers for naps and overnight. Let that happen as it comes.
Pigpen's Mama says
So, a few newbie questions…
Did you just roll up rugs? We’ve got all hardwood and tile, but a few big rugs on the main level — where we’d be doing this, most likely. Although I suppose we could decamp to the finished basement for the weekend.
How old are kids generally for potty training – -it seems like it’s really across the board – my mom seems to remember I was trained before 2, but I’ve heard/read about kids being trained at 3-4?
hoola hoopa says
We didn’t roll up rugs. In our hardwood floor home where we PT’d two kids, we only really had one area rug in the living room and it was wool so liquid was repelled well enough. We also had the philosophy that we’d replace everything once the kids were older anyway. In other words, I didn’t care if the rug got dirty. In the wall-to-wall carpet house, we just resigned that we’d be cleaning the carpet. So I’d say it’s up to you.
Potty training age varies SO MUCH. One self trained before age two. Another was a dragged out saga that ended shortly after the third birthday. YMMV. I’d guess sometime in the 2’s or 3’s is typical. Often it’s a requirement for preschools.
One thing that I’ll through out is that potty trained children have accidents. It’s part of life even though kindergarten, so don’t give up hope because your three year old has accidents from time to time. I feel like a lot of parents I know expect their preschoolers to have the bladder control of an adult.
Lorelai Gilmore says
And one note here: my child trained late, right after turning age 3, but never had an accident after that. One advantage of waiting until later is fewer accidents.
anne-on says
I think grandparents tend not to remember when exactly their own kids were trained. My daycare suggests the stage between 28-38th months is the ‘ideal’ time, but plenty of parents of boys I know were close to 4 before they were fully trained. The best advice I got was as soon as they show interest in the potty, jump on it. My son was interested and we ‘played’ with going potty for a good 3-4 months before he well and truly ‘got it’ and then trained in about a week (across both home/daycare). We also went full out on the bribes – chocolate chips, and a big toy of his choosing for a full week (days only) dry/clean.