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When my son was a newborn and a baby, I used Aden + Anais swaddles for everything. I loved how they felt, and they came in cute patterns.
Like most new parents, we were also lucky enough to receive a deluge of baby blankets. We received one of these Aden + Anais baby blankets, and it is the only one we still use. My son uses it as a blanket for naptime at daycare every day, and it is the perfect size and weight for a school nap.
The best part is that you don’t have to be precious about washing or drying it. I wash it on hot with the rest of his laundry and burn it on high heat in the dryer and it still is going strong. Yes, the white of the blanket has turned more of a gray (I don’t separate by color for him), but it’s just gotten softer as time has passed.
The blanket is $34.99 at Target. Essentials Muslin Blanket
Sales of note for 4.14.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Mid-Season Sale: extra 40% off; extra 20% off sale styles; 40% off new spring styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 40% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50-60% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off dresses; 30% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Cyber Spring: 50% off everything & free shipping
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time; 30% off select shoes
- Talbots – BOGO 50% off everything, includes markdowns (ends 4/14)
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Buy 3+ get 30% off forever favorites
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 30% off your purchase
- Old Navy – Up to 70% off clearance; sales on shorts and polos
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event; BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
lsw says
non-mom related but I also don’t use the main site much anymore. Has anyone used a gas firepit? I’m tired of every time we use our wood firepit someone coming over to complain through the fence. (city living, we follow the rules and regulations)
Clementine says
Friends got a modern looking one – one of the ones with the little glass pieces in it that’s round. She commented that they are using it more frequently than their former wood burning one because it’s easier to just turn on for a half hour without committing to be outside all night.
I’m intrigued enough to be looking into one.
lsw says
That’s what I’m thinking – less of a production! The only downside I really see is it probably wouldn’t be great for marshmallows, but I can live with that. Kind of a bummer to lose the “fire sounds” and color, but we can save that for the cabin. I want to find one that isn’t too “hotel” looking.
Clementine says
Uh, I’m pretty sure I just saw a social media post with pics of her kids roasting marshmallows over it. Why… why couldn’t they? My husband has been known to toast marshmallows over our (gas) stove to make a s’more.
And yeah, they got a clean looking modern one, but some of them do read very ‘welcome happy hour at a random Hilton Garden Inn where you are going to get really good bar mix and some overly sweet sangria’.
lsw says
Oh they could, they just don’t taste as good! We have been known to do the gas stove method too. Nothing will stop me when I want a s’more!
Anonymous says
“really good bar mix and some overly sweet sangria” made my day….
Lyssa says
We use ours all the time – I hate things that have to be fussed with and set up, so wood is just too much. (One nice thing – put the kids to bed, fix some drinks, and sit outside at it. It’s not exactly like going to a bar, but it’s sort of close, you know? )
We toast marshmallows on it regularly; it works fine.
Anon says
Yes! We have one with the glass rocks and absolutely love it. Use it frequently because it’s no mess. We do use it for marshmallows – not exactly the experience of making them over a wood fire but it does work. The kids (6 and under) love it too and I love that it has a glass shield around and I don’t have to be quite as paranoid about safety. Highly recommend.
Cb says
Oh wow, I never even considered one of these but am not adding it to my list. Post if you find one you like so I can steal some inspiration.
anon says
We finally caved and got one this year after being die-hard “wood only” fans. Well, I am a convert. I still love the wood fire pit for the weekend, when we have more time, but the gas firepit is so nice and much more doable for a random weeknight.
lsw says
OK, sold! Specific recs? Especially anon at 9:34, because I have a 4 year old with no sense of personal danger and the shield sounds necessary.
Anon says
Its a Berlin Gardens Donoma. We splurged and have been really impressed with the quality.
anon says
We preferred wood but got a smaller gas one thinking we’d use it more. And we absolutely do. We use it several nights a week (sat outside with it last night even). It’s so easy and even the small ones can product a lot of warmth. Total convert. I actually can’t remember the last time we used our wood one.
Anonymous says
Our old house had a built in gas fire pit connected to the gas line. It was the best thing ever. Can’t recommend it more. We’d have already built one here, but the inside needed tons of work, and priorities.
FVNC says
We just bought a house that has this set up. We’d never had a firepit before, and now we use it all the time — just flip the knob to turn the gas on and done. So easy.
anonamama says
the Solo Stove has been a popular giftable item among my friend/neighbor group. Pricey but less upkeep than a wood fire pit or quarantine puppy (also popular)
anon says
Thanks for considering gas! Smoke is a big problem for me medically and I really appreciate when folks think of alternatives so I don’t have to hide inside with air purifiers on.
I have a gas fireplace and it’s super easy and works great.
lsw says
That’s such a good point!
Anon says
How do you do with food smokers? We just got one and it is irritating my asthma some and I’m worried if it is bothering the neighbors too.
EP-er says
This is our fall improvement project! We bought some outdoor furniture and a gas fire table (which is now out of stock.) It just showed up over the weekend, but we haven’t had a chance set everything up yet so can’t recommend yet. We chose gas, because of convenience — we love a wood fire, but are looking for something easy — plus our location is under some power lines & I didn’t want the wood fire to get out of hand.
I think that this is a popular quarantine project this year!
BeenThatGuy says
We went with a propane firepit table and love it. We use it multiple times a week because it’s so convenient. I hate the smell of wood burning firepits and at really does take over the whole neighborhood. My neighbors are grateful we went with propane. I also never worry about embers so I can relax and not worry I’m going to burn down my neighborhood!
Anonymous says
Ugh, ladies, my 3.5yo DD punched me in the mouth last night. I was putting her in time out and she was pinching me and I said “you’re hurting me please stop”…and she wacked me in the face instead. I kept my cool (trying to not freak out after getting hit hard in the face is not easy!) and told her we don’t hurt people and left her in time out. She was calm afterwards. But WTF. Why is being a parent so hard sometimes?? She’s been hitting more lately and we don’t know why except for the pandemic and all that entails. She gets tons of exercise, adequate sleep (12.5hrs/night) and we limit sugar as best we can. Is 3 just this hard?
Anonymous says
Yup three is just hard!!
lsw says
Ugh, I am so sorry. My son went through a period at 3 of spitting, and especially spitting in my face when I was buckling him in the carseat. Wow, I don’t think ANYTHING in parenthood made me madder. There’s just nothing like someone looking calmly at you dead in the eye and spitting in your face. I used to have to shut the car door and just stand outside seething for a minute so I could respond calmly. He also hit my glasses a lot around that time. And this was all pre-pandemic! It was just being three, and also being a bit behind with speech. It is so so hard but I promise it will get better. You’re not doing anything wrong, and it sounds like you’re addressing it just right. When we were at home and he would try the spitting thing, whoever was being spit on (usually me but sometimes his sister) would just leave the room instantly and the person behind would explain in a calm fashion about how spitting/hitting is wrong and makes the other person feel sad and upset.
Anonymous says
Omg my 2.5 year old just started the spitting in my face! So gross, especially during a pandemic.
Anonymous says
This is 3. You’re doing great!
Spirograph says
Sometime in that general 2-4ish age range is just hard. It’s a phase, and you’ll get through it, but it’s no fun. Each of my kids had 3-6 months when they were just a holy terror, but they’re mostly sweet again now. I promise it gets better again!
Re: getting hit in the mouth though — my mom had braces when my younger brother was in his terrible age. He whacked her in the mouth once, and it should tell you something about how much it hurt her that I remember it 33 years later. One of my first memories!
TheElms says
Is there a period like this for younger toddlers as well? My 16 month old is just really challenging at the moment when she doesn’t get her way. For example, yesterday we were out for a walk and we had a sudden rain shower. Not that big of a deal, she got wet, and to play in puddles. But it was getting dark and the temperature was dropping (not in appropriate clothing because no idea it was going to rain and we were less than 10 minutes walk from home at toddler pace) and it was dinner time but she LOVES puddles. I did the we are walking home in 2 minutes, set a timer on my phone, let it go off and started to walk home and she just would not go. She tantrum-ed on the side walk for a solid 15 minutes. I tried the I know you want to play in puddles, it’s sad that we can’t play in puddles, we can play again tomorrow (I would follow through and turn on the hose to make puddles in the back yard if there is no rain) routine to no effect. I ended up picking her up and she hit and kicked the heck out of me for the walk home. By the time we got home she had been having a tantrum for at least 20 minutes and it continued for another 5-10 minutes in the house. I’m pretty sure the cold and being hungry didn’t help anything, but it sucked.
Anonymous says
So I’m the OP above and that’s totally normal for that age. I’d definitely say being tired/hungry/cold adds to it. But somehow the 1-2 year old tantrums didn’t bother me as much. I just chilled and “held space” while they were upset. But 3-4 yos are really strong so the fits are harder to deal with physically. I can deal with my 14mo smacking me in the face because he’s literally figuring out how to touch people, he doesn’t know better,
AwayEmily says
TOTALLY normal and it part of the long, often painful process of learning that sometimes she can’t get what she wants, and how to deal with that feeling. With my oldest, I remember a lot of these at around 2, then fewer at 3, and now that she’s 4 she does have meltdowns sometimes but almost never related to “I want a thing I cannot have” (usually they’re related to her brother annoying her). It also helps once they actually CAN logic and reason and understand — for example, on Saturday we had to leave a playground long before my 4yo was ready and so I promised we would come back later that week. And because she is 4, she understands the concept of “later this week,” and because I have been keeping those promises to her for four years, she believes that we really will, and so she was fine with it. It’s a long game!
Anon says
16 months was the very hardest age so far for us (DD is almost 3 now). She didn’t have many words but understood a lot and was incredibly frustrated she couldn’t express herself. I agree that things get a lot better when they can understand the concept of returning to something tomorrow or on the weekend. My DD is getting there now and it makes transitions a lot easier. Bedtime used to be rough but now she really gets it when we say we will resume Legos tomorrow after school.
Anonymous says
As others said totally normal for that age. And… that age is a little young to understand “in 2 minutes…”. It’s still prime “pick them up and go” ahead where if you get ahead of the tantrum, you can usually just change the subject.
Boston Legal Eagle says
3 is hard. My older one threw a full bottle of milk at my face once, and it left a noticeable bruise under my eye for a while. Fun. Right now at 4.5, he’s more into yelling “I’m never going to be your best friend” and crying at a high volume (hello teenage years?), which I prefer to being hit in the face, so there’s that.
Anon says
Serious question – are you guys all able to deal with spitting, punching, etc. without yelling? I couldn’t. I’ll be honest about it. The kids don’t do that anymore (8,6), but when they did … they heard it from me. I’m in admiration if this board can pretty much universally handle that without resorting to yelling. I wish I could have. On the other hand, the kids are good now, and I can’t remember the last time I yelled, so I didn’t screw them up that bad.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I don’t think there’s anyone here who hasn’t lost their cool at some point. It’s part of being human and we shouldn’t hold ourselves to a standard of being totally calm at all times. When I get hurt in the face, my natural instinct is to cry. I tend to also get frustrated and yell more when I’m tired or stressed about work or you know, the state of the world, so I try to remember that. Oh and bath time is the worst because everyone’s tired by then and not their best.
Anonymous says
Yelling is so subjective and culture-specific. I was raised in a loud ethnic family and some of my more mild-mannered WASPy friends consider my normal speaking voice “yelling.” I only consider it yelling if you’re really screaming and no, I haven’t screamed at my kid. I raise my voice and snap at her sometimes, but not a full-on scream. I also think there’s a huge difference between yelling “NO!” or “STOP!” in reaction to a spit or punch and then continuing on in a calmer tone of voice vs continuing to yell while imposing whatever punishment you choose. When you get hit in the face, you’re allowed to react loudly, in my view, but then you should try to calm down.
Anon says
No, I’ve never screamed. But I have yelled. I was just curious because everyone seems to respond that they’ve calmly said no, or removed the child the situation from the situation, or explained that hitting hurts, etc. I am just imagining a super calm response, which wasn’t me. But I’ve never screamed or berated or anything like that.
Anonymous says
If I am truly hurt, I display an authentic reaction. I don’t mean berating child and throwing a fit. But if it makes me cry out in pain, I don’t hold back. I think is important for kiddo to see and understand how her actions affect people.
Anonymous says
I’m the OP. To be honest sometimes I’m calm and sometimes I’m not!! Everyone loses their cool and I’ve definitely yelled at my 3YO. But I honestly believe that when they’re having a tantrum that me yelling only adds fuel to the fire, so I try my best not to. I’m a work in progress.
Anonymous says
I rarely raise my voice at my kids, but it’s definitely happened, and probably most frequently when they were around 3. I’ve yelled in pain when they hurt me, not in a theatrical way, just not stifling my natural reaction.
I have also, in front of my kids, grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, then explained in a quieter voice that they are driving me absolutely bananas, I’m at the end of my rope because [whatever other compounding factors] and I needed to let out my frustration in way that was not hurtful.
100% agree with 11:37 that yelling never helps if the kid is already having a tantrum. My husband has a short fuse sometimes and he does yell when he gets upset. I have a code word to remind him that he’s the grownup and he needs to de-escalate.
Anonymous says
How are y’all getting rid of baby stuff during the pandemic? My local Goodwill has recently started taking donations again, but it’s still limited. No local friends with babies. We have so much stuff (baby tub, jumper, clothes, rock n play, etc) and we’d like to clean house a bit since baby is nearly 2!
Kate says
The local Buy Nothing groups on Facebook are great for this!
Eek says
Yes! I love our Buy Nothing group – we just set the item on the front porch for the person so it’s zero contact, and it makes me feel good knowing that things are being put to good use.
Anon says
Local charities here have been accepting donations – women’s shelters, immigrant orgs, etc. Otherwise I’m sure if you post it for free on FB Marketplace someone will come take it off your hands.
Anonymous says
If you’re located in the Mid-Atlantic, Greendrop has been doing pick-ups and taking donations. You could also look into local churches or charities. Last resort, I give it away for free on craigslist- it’s usually gone super quickly.
Clementine says
Some suggestions:
– Local Buy Nothing Group
– Contact your local women’s shelter – they may be accepting donations
– Google ‘foster care closet’ – this is often a free option where children coming into foster care – including those who are coming in to live with relatives – are able to get items that they need. If you have a local one, this is a great place to donate.
– Consider selling for really cheap prices on Facebook Marketplace
– If you have a local rehab or halfway house that takes moms with babies, they will often accept direct donations.
FVNC says
Thanks for the foster care closet recommendation. I just googled, and there’s an organization near me that will accept almost all of the items I’ve been stockpiling over the past few years.
Clementine says
I’m so glad! Where I live, it’s a critical resource for the grandma who is willing to take in her 4 grandchildren who just got removed from a bad situation and suddenly needs 4 sets of twin sheets, a pack and play, a high chair, etc.
It helps make the incredible burden just a little easier for these relatives who step up.
Cb says
Our house is on the market so I’m in get rid of stuff mode. I use Freecycle and my local neighbourhood facebook group to great success. For Freecycle, we arrange a time where we leave it outside so it is contactless.
MD anon says
Where we live Value Village is back to accepting donations as usual, so they’ll take clothes and toys. I generally post things for free in one of the local networks (town parent listserve, town barter & trade facebook group, local area parent BST facebook group) and someone will claim it very quickly. We’ve also gotten almost all the winter clothes we need for my kids this year that way. Our town usually has a swap of baby and kid stuff twice a year and both the spring and fall ones were canceled, so there are a ton of people both trying to get rid of things and trying to pick up things, so items go fast.
Anonymous says
People are always posting stuff like this (usually for free but sometimes for sale) in our neighborhood FB group.
Realist says
Local Facebook groups. I am in 2 groups that are serving needy populations in my area. Individual social workers join the groups and will post what they need for specific families or you can post what you have and people will claim it. No tax deduction because everything is done at the individual level. Our realtor helped me find one of the groups. Realtors usually know where to get rid of stuff because they are always helping sellers declutter, so it may be worth contacting any realtors you know and seeing if they have suggestions. To make it worth my time, I usually group items that go together and require anyone that wants one item to take them all.
avocado says
I just got an e-mail from my daughter’s school. They are pleased to announce that face-to-face students in music courses are now allowed to play wind instruments, as long as they keep their masks on at all times. That should be interesting.
Anonymous says
So your school is open in person?
avocado says
40 percent on line, 60 percent in person. After three weeks there have already been several outbreaks in classrooms and on buses.
Clementine says
I… I have some follow up questions.
Although I did see a picture of somebody blowing the traditional Rosh Hashanah Ram’s horn with a paper mask over the end.
Cb says
Wait, what? I’m not at all musical but even I know that doesn’t work.
avocado says
Exactly.
Eek says
Haha, what?! I’m visualizing kids wearing masks with little holes cut in them for the instrument to go through.
Anonymous says
You might not be far off. They make masks with a hole for a straw.
anon says
Huh? Former woodwind here, and HOW would that even work?
Anonymous says
rofl. I played clarinet, and I’m just imagining trying to blow through a mask, or even play with a little hole cut out of one. So many reeds destroyed! It might kind of work for oboes and bassoons, though….
Or maybe you put the mask over the end of the instrument so the air can’t escape the bottom? (not sure what you’d do about the keyholes, though). in any case, I love this visualization.
Anon says
Notre Dame’s band was playing with masks on at a game last weekend. It looked like they all had cutouts in the mask where the instrument went– so I’m not really sure what the point was?
anne-on says
On yet another small annoyance of pandemic life, my husband has seasonal allergies and is SO LOUD when clearing his throat/blowing his nose constantly. I know it is not his fault, and that having misphonia makes it worse than it would normally be but aaaagggghhhh. Playing white noise constantly in the background on my laptop is the only thing saving my sanity right now.
AnonATL says
My husband has a nose trumpet anytime he blows his nose year round. I swear I was on a conference call across the house, unmuted but not speaking, and it picked up his nose blowing. I could see the little microphone volume thing tick up on the screen.
Don’t you just love all the random crap you notice about your spouse when you are together 24/7
Anon says
Along the lines of the poster with the 3 year old above, when does this get easier? My son is a crazy handful these days. He’s 14 months and walking and into absolutely everything. I remember 12-18 months being hard with my daughter but not like this (she was a late walker so she could be contained and was honestly just kind of easy). I used to laugh at stories of people with the crazy toddlers who would throw things in the toilet or something else destructive the second you turned around but now I’m living it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
4.5. In all seriousness, it probably depends on the kid, but around end of 3/4 is when most kids start to get “easier” I think.
My older one was super active and would jump and run everywhere and now (at 4.5) is more logical and turning into quite the funny, fun kid. He definitely still has emotional meltdowns where he screams and cries, but I can trust him to follow directions and actually focus on a task. I’ve got an almost 2 year old now too though, so it’s still chaos, but I can really see the light at the end of the (longgg) tunnel.
Anon says
I said it above but 15-17 months was the hardest age so far for us (almost 3 now), due to wanting to do toddler stuff but not having the verbal skills to express herself in the way she wanted. My daughter also walked late but was a speed crawler so she got into everything, plus she had to be carried whenever we went anywhere where we didn’t want her to crawl, which was physically exhausting. Different ages have different challenges, but for me that barely-verbal-but-no-longer-a-baby stage was extremely difficult. 2 and 3 year olds are more mischievous and intentionally devious, but being able to communicate has made parenting much less frustrating for me. Plus they become absolutely hilarious. My daughter cracks me up so much it’s hard to stay annoyed.
Lyssa says
I’ve said a bunch of times that I think that about the 6 months surrounding 1.5 years are the absolute hardest. Kids have enough understanding to know that they want things and are being denied them, but not enough to communicate and understand if they can’t have them (plus all the shiny new mobility). I think 2 is much, much easier, when the language jump hits.
3 gets a little harder again (though not as much as 1.5), as they become less eager to please and much stronger (but they’re much more interesting, too!). 4 is a lot more rational, but the emotions are big when they come.
Clementine says
For me the hardest ages are 16-22 months. They’re super mobile, they can hurt themselves, but they have absolutely no sense of self preservation. They are big enough to want to do things but they can’t actually do things. I find this age absolutely exhausting – every day is just spent trying to keep them from self destruction.
It seems to get markedly easier at 2 and then even easier at 3. I was commenting to my husband this weekend that my 4.5 year old is at a really fantastic age. Kid still wants to cuddle and is happy to make adults happy, but can also play nicely with friends, understand that actions have consequences, go to the bathroom/get dressed/clean up with minimal prompting. Kid can also happily sit and play on his tablet or watch a movie if I ever just need to do something else.
Ages 6-8 are hard but in a different way. The hands on difficulty for me peaks at that 1.5-2 age (‘Baby Rambo’ phase).
TheElms says
We are so in Baby Rambo phase! That perfectly describes it. Kiddo was an early walker (10 months) and has been able to climb on the furniture since about that age as well (why did I get a tall kid???) We’ve done a decent job of creating a completely safe space in the basement for play and a mostly safe space in the family room. But we do spend time in other parts of the house and that is exhausting. I’m thinking about a bounce house for the basement to help survive the winter — good idea or bad idea?
GCA says
This was my son as well. This really is the toughest age. DS is now 5 and still unbelievably energetic. We have to take him to a disused parking lot to bike or run laps, or else he’s running laps up and down the house and mistaking the sofa for a trampoline. But since 4 he’s been less destructive and also less self-destructive, and will sit down with the tablet or to draw when he feels like it.
In the reverse of your situation, DD (2) will climb anything when she puts her mind to it, but then will chill out up there until she wants down. I had heard of toddlers who just *sat there and entertained themselves*, but didn’t believe they existed until I had my second.
Anon says
This is a generalization and there are absolutely exceptions, but it’s a stereotype for a reason: most boys are crazy handfuls. They are full of energy and learn about themselves and the world through motion and daring. They need less supervision around 3 or 4, but are still very challenging through 5!
Anonymous says
+1, signed, mom of two wild boys
octagon says
(We have a similar blanket from Little Unicorn and are about to buy a twin-size one for kiddo because he loves the smaller one so much.)
Talk to me about stranger danger — how do you teach your kids about it? Kiddo is extremely sensitive and anxious and I want to find something that is cautious but not alarmist. Any stories about kidnapping or bad strangers will inevitably end up in nightmares for him, but he’s almost 5 so he needs to start learning about it. Book recommendations specifically appreciated!
Anonymous says
I don’t think we did a big safety lesson, but some themes we’ve repeated over the years- unknown adults don’t ask kids for help, we do not ask to see nor do we show body parts covered by swimsuits, adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets (surprises are different), if you ever need to leave somewhere bc something/someone is unsafe you can always call us, if lost look for a person in a uniform or an adult with children, etc.
Anonymous says
We have the Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers, which is a relic from my childhood. It is kind of alarmist in the beginning, but then Mama and Papa explain that most people are okay. It’s just that you can’t tell on the outside who is okay and who isn’t, so you can’t put yourself in dangerous situations. At the end it has a list of Brother and Sister Bear’s rules about strangers. The list provides good talking points.
Realist says
We like the book “Super Duper Safety School: Safety Rules For Kids & Grown-Ups!” It teaches a “tricky people” concept instead of being alarmist with ‘all strangers are bad.’
Anon says
Yes, was going to say “tricky people” is the latest phrase (rather than stranger danger). Not all strangers are scary…and most kids are kidnapped by tricky people they know!
We introduce in little bits as we grant more responsibility, such as letting them play alone in the yard or going to school. Some topics we’ve covered: Don’t get in a car with anyone, even if you know them, unless mom and dad have told you that would happen; if you are ever lost find a police person or a mom and ask them for help, and the concept of secrets vs surprises. “If anyone tells you to keep a secret from your parents you do not listen; secrets are usually bad and there’s nothing you can tell us, but surprises can be okay.” A tangentially related book we’ve started reading is Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr.
Anon says
*Nothing you CAN’T tell us, obviously
Anne says
Maybe this is terrible but I don’t plan to. My kids aren’t ever unsupervised (live in a city) so I’d rather just go along enjoying saying hi to people we pass on the street and go over overall safety rules when they’re old enough to go places alone. I have taught my older child to avoid interacting with people “whose brains aren’t working great right now,” or who seem “angry” since that’s a necessary city skill.
depressed says
I need some thoughts and ideas for getting through minutes/days/weeks with a depressed spouse. Largely related to the election and the general state of the world. I’m not exactly happy and cheery myself, but I do feel like I’ve gotten myself into a healthier mindset where I do what I can — volunteer, donate — and can largely avoid the doom spirals that my spouse seems to be in more often than not these days. I feel like I have accepted that this is a really difficult time for everyone and that it’s common and normal not to feel happy or not to have things to look forward to right now, and I just need to get through — but it helps me to think of it as an everyone problem not a me problem.
I know I cannot make spouse better, but my nature is partly to blame myself/look at what I could do better or differently, and I’m really struggling not to go down that road here. Yes to therapy all around.
Anon says
My therapist suggested I talk with my husband about how *I* am dealing with a problem internalizing his unhappiness and if he could just periodically remind me it’s not me. My husband will be gloomy but if I ask if everything is okay he will say yes because he can’t articulate what is bothering him if it’s just clinical depression. Then I spiral thinking about all the things I may have done to make him mad. Then he gets mad and says “it’s not you!!”
So now I say “I see you are having a rough day today. Can you just confirm for me it is nothing I did or didn’t do? And he will say nope, nothing you did.” Then, my end of the bargain is to not pry or try to make him happy. Accept the answer and move on. Hearing “it’s not you” in a nice way, really has calmed my anxiety.
Anon. says
This is exactly the strategy my husband and I use. Feeling very validated it comes therapist recommended!
Anonymous says
Therapy for yourself regardless if he will or will not go to therapy. It will give you coping technique to deal with the situation.
Anonymous says
Nothing wrong with therapy, but I would encourage your spouse to take constructive action, and support him in those actions. Volunteer/ donate related to the election, make a major lifestyle change to reduce your carbon impact (like composting), etc.