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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon. says
Long story short: Can I sleep train / CIO with a 2.5 yr-old?
My former champion sleeper has given up. He used to fall asleep by himself and sleep through the night. He then stayed in his crib quietly until the Hatch light turned green and we would get him. He has now decided that he needs someone (specifically Daddy) to sit with him until he falls asleep and is waking up 1-2 times a night screaming for Daddy to come to his room. It was 1:00 AM, 3:00 AM and 5:45 AM last night.
He doesn’t need action generally when you’re there. Literally, my husband sits in the chair in his room working on his computer while kiddo falls asleep. And most nights after the screaming wake up, as long as my husband enters the room and lays on the floor, kiddo will go back to sleep. (As will husband, on the floor). My husband was fine with it and my motto is “It’s not a problem until it’s a problem.” But it’s becoming a problem. Oh, and I’m 8 months pregnant. So yeah – the world is turning upside down in a few weeks.
Help.
Anonymous says
I don’t think that it would be very effective at that age. It’s a prime age for separation anxiety and CIO would make him much more clingly in the daytime. With a new baby, you want less clingy in the daytime not more. His whole world is about to be rocked in a few weeks with arrival of new baby. If Dad sitting with him for 20 minutes helps him fall asleep, I’d be inclined to keep doing that. As a variation, can he sit in the hallway outside the room?
Try implementing a very consistent routine. For the nighttime wake ups, I would just have your DH go in, tuck him back in and leave again. No chatting/engaging. The first few nights he may not settle well but after a few nights, he’ll likely wake up less because he knows if he needs someone they will come but it won’t be interesting/exciting and Dad won’t stay.
You’re probably going to have him waking up sometimes at the start once baby arrives and when the baby is crying so not sure how effective CIO will be if everything is changing soon anyway.
FVNC says
When our 2.5 yr old’s sleep routine has been disrupted (e.g., after traveling), we’ve had success with modified CIO. The good news is that at 2.5 they’re old enough to understand what’s going on. So, we’ll say good night and explain that we’re right next door and will see him in the morning. If he wakes up at night crying for us (okay, me) my husband or I will go in, calmly explain that he needs to sleep and that we’ll see him in the morning. We don’t go in again. We’ve done this two or three times in the past maybe 6 months and it’s taken a night or two to get him back to sleeping through the night. Thankfully, the ruckus doesn’t seem to disturb our 6 yr old who sleeps in the room next door. Good luck, sleep trouble is hard at any age!!
Anonymous says
You don’t say how long this has been going on, but my daughter had about a two-week sleep regression at the same age.
OP says
We’re now on week three. I was hoping it would be just a quick phase but it’s getting worse.
Anon says
Does he have all his teeth? Teething makes my toddler behave this way. It’s like the pain from the teeth isn’t excruciating, but its’ enough to wake her up and then she decides she’s lonely and wants some company.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s too old and we do mini cry it out whenever my almost 3 year old regresses. FWIW I think most kids have disruptive sleep before the new sibling arrives. Our DDs went right back to normal as soon as I delivered
SF says
happy sleeper has a whole section on toddlers. it’s the reverse sleep wave (basically you promise that you’ll come back and check on them and then you do at regular intervals – the book can explain it better).
Ifiknew says
My daughter insisted on mom and my husband went in for about a month then she stopped waking up. I know it sucks for you to go if you are pregnant but getting the other person that they don’t want has helped in our case
Anon says
Did you get an MMR vaccine before you started TTC? I’m 33 and probably haven’t had one since I was in college. I am current on my Tdap.
Mrs. Jones says
No.
aelle says
I got a rubella titer done before TTC. It came back positive (=I am correctly protected by the vaccine) so I didn’t get a booster.
Anon says
No, at least in the US, MMR is not something you need a booster for in adulthood generally (you get two shots as a child and that’s it). If you have reason to believe you might not be immune, ask your doctor to check your titers. It’s hard to get a booster unless you have a test showing you don’t have enough antibodies.
Audrey III says
I did. My OB did a blood test before we TTC, and found that I was not immune to one of the “Ms” (I think it was measles), even though I’d had MMR as a kid. So I got it again, along with a varicella vaccine, as I wasn’t immune to that either (despite having had chicken pox as a kid).
rosie says
I think I had bw done to see what my immunity level was at a preconception appointment with an OB. I understand that just giving the vax may be cheaper than doing the titer, if your doc is recommending getting revaccinated, that may be why.
I believe you get Tdap during the third tri regardless of when you last had it to transfer some immunity. But MMR is not given during pregnancy.
Anonymous says
Yes because I was in the cohort that only got one shot and should have gotten a booster (1980) – I like like 1976-84 was affected or something? But that was mostly because TTC made me research a bit and I didn’t know I needed the booster until then.
Anon says
I’m 32 and got my second shot earlier this year. When I was a kid the second shot wasn’t part of the normal vaccine schedule like it is today (people born between 1957-1989 generally only got 1 shot, for 93% effectiveness, vs 2 shots for 97%). When there was the measels outbreak earlier this year, I got tested with a tither and while my mumps and rubella protection was OK, my measels numbers were borderline, so I got another shot.
So, you’re probably OK, but also you probably only got 1 MMR shot so getting another won’t hurt you.
Anon says
My husband and I were both born in 1984 and got the second shot in elementary school (on opposite sides of the US). In 1989, when they decided they needed a two-dose series, they vaccinated a lot of grade school children so there’s a good chance that if you were not yet in college in 1989 that you got the second shot. That said, if you don’t have your childhood immunization records and you were born before 1989 it’s probably good to check your antibodies. My OB did not think it was necessary to check since I knew I’d had two shots.
Audrey III says
So interesting! I’m in that cohort, so that must be what happened for me…thanks for sharing!
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah I pulled my vaccination records earlier this year while pregnant. I was born in ‘83 and got the second shot when I was about 12. I’m guessing a summer camp must have required it or something.
Anonymous says
I was born in 1976 and had to get a second shot for college – there was an outbreak around then (1995ish).
Anonymous says
Question–If you don’t have immunity or if you have borderline immunity, is it okay to not get it before pregnancy if you are going to get it immediately after?
Anon says
If you know you don’t have immunity, you should get the shot before TTC. Rubella can cause miscarriage, stillbirth and lots of birth defects – it’s not something you want to take a chance on getting while pregnant.
rosie says
Why would you risk it? If you are able to get the shot before pregnancy, get the shot. If you get pregnant before you are able to get the shot, not much to do about it (but certainly get it after you deliver).
Anonymous says
You’re likely going to need to get Tdap again anyway to provide some protection to the baby. MMR you are almost certainly good on, but you can get your titers checked.
Anon says
Yes, this: I’m pregnant and my OB’s office wants me to get Tdap now. The idea is that if I get it while pregnant, some of the immunity will pass to my baby.
Anonymous says
My 7.5 kid was recommended by dentist to see an orthodontist for a Phase 1 evaluation. Dentist thinks kid needs either a spacer or some baby teeth pulled, as her new teeth are coming in sideways because kid has a small jaw and large adult teeth. Any experience with this? It seems so young. I had braces in 7th grade. I had heard about earlier teeth intervention being more popular now, but am still leery of any sort of messing about with kid’s mouth.
Tweeter says
I’m 32, but I started orthodontic work at a similar age. I did the palette expander / some baby teeth pulled around 2nd grade ish. I was in some sort of braces/orthodontic stuff from like 8 to 16. No issues since / now so whatever they did worked for me I guess. No experience with more modern practices for kids now, sorry!
Anonymous says
Ughhh this was me too. Spacer, expander, braced plus headgear. And my teeth still aren’t perfect. I think the orthodontist took my parents to the cleaners. Get a second opinion?
Anonymous says
I’m 43 and had a retainer in kindergarten, another by 2nd grade, and braces in 3rd grade. I also had 4 permanent teeth removed around age 10.
Anonymous says
PS – I also have large teeth and small jaw, and had a crossbite and tongue thrust (terrible buck teeth). It wouldn’t hurt to get a 2nd opinion but his logic seems plausible to me.
anon says
I had something like that when I was about 8 – my teeth were growing in all kinds of weird so I had brackets on some of them to normalize things for maybe a year? I ended up getting full braces when I was like 12 to deal with an overbite.
avocado says
Two-phase orthodontic treatment with a palate expander and possibly a first set of braces in elementary school, followed by braces in late elementary or middle school, seems to be the trend these days.
Our dentist’s advice was to have consultations with two orthodontists. If their recommended treatment plans were similar, go with whichever orthodontist we preferred. If we had concerns about the recommended treatment plans or the two disagreed, get a third consultation.
Anon says
I had lots of metal going on in my mouth starting in 2nd grade. Palate expander in second grade, top braces in 3rd grade, bottom braces added in 4th grade. Expander removed in 5th grade, braces removed summer before 8th grade. Various teeth pulled along the way as needed.
Thank you Mom and Dad ?
lsw says
Our now 13yo had to have teeth pulled off and on for a few years before finally getting braces at 12.
Babysitter question says
When you hire a babysitter for a night out, do you hire them for a specific number of hours (say 6-10)? If you get home early, do you still pay them until 10? Or do you just ask them to come at 6 and then pay them for however many hours you are gone? Is there a minimum number of hours you would hire someone for on a weekend evening?
I want to make sure I’m being fair to our awesome and laid back sitter. It’s so hard to figure out how long dinner out or certain events will take sometimes!
rosie says
Don’t have a ton of experience doing this, but we usually guarantee a certain number of hours to make sure it’s worth their time. So maybe in the case you describe where you think it’ll be 6-10 but could be shorter, guarantee you’ll pay at least 3 hours. That seems reasonable as long as the sitter doesn’t have super complex travel to get to you or something.
Babysitter question says
Thanks. This is a good idea. She only lives a couple blocks away so it’s convenient.
CCLA says
We do this too. Our sitters are college+ aged but we also pay very generously. I always book at least 3 hours and clarify ahead of time if we think it might go longer to make sure they’re cool with staying later. Then always pay for the greater of the minimum or the actual time used, rounding up to the nearest half hour. If we use an agency, which we often do, they require a 5 hour minimum.
Anonymous says
I book a block of time and pay for the whole block – like last night was 6-8pm and we got home 8:15 so we paid extra for the extra time. If I booked 6-10pm and an event ends earlier, DH and I would also likely use up the whole time even if we’re just getting a drink or a cup of coffee at a bar or coffee shop after the event.
Side note, I discovered that booking our sitter (floater at daycare) for a weeknight date night was one of my fav date nights. She was happy enough to get picked up directly from daycare with the kids, ate with them and played with them and put on pjs. DH and I did bedtime when we got home, so kids were way less complainy about a sitter than usual and I didn’t feel like I missed out on time with them. It was great to spend a couple hours with DH eating super spicey food and talking politics.
Buble says
I give them an estimate of hours, but I pay them for the time we are actually out if we get home early (or obviously, late). FWIW I also tip/round up, so if her hourly rate is $15, if we’re out for 3 hours, I’ll usually give an even $50.
Mrs. Jones says
+1
FVNC says
We don’t commit to a specific amount of time, and are usually only gone about 2 hrs. Our sitters (high school and college age) live close by and we pay generously for our area, and it’s never been an issue.
EB0220 says
I usually schedule a block of time (e.g. 7 pm – 11 pm). I try not to be home early, but if I am I do pay for the full time block. I also ask if they are flexible or not so I know if I have to be home right on time.
Blueberries says
I’ll book for a block of time or at least agree on an end time before we leave. I always pay the full amount.
For a post-college-age sitter who isn’t in the neighborhood, I pay for a minimum of 3-4 hours. For a high schooler in the neighborhood, I try not to be gone more than 2-3 hours and feel comfortable booking and paying for just an hour.
It’s really hard to find excellent babysitters, so I try to err on the side of being generous.
ALC says
BigLaw associate moms, how do you do it?!? I’ve been back two days and already need to work most of the night to keep up, plus my commute is now an hour including daycare drop off and I feel like any personal time I would have is taken up with endlessly washing bottles. I know, the answer is probably that we need a nanny, but I have been resisting that for various reasons. Any other suggestions?
Anonymous says
Aupair in addition to daycare (maybe part time daycare if that’s an option?). Aupairs can do kid related tasks like wash bottles and drop baby to daycare and pick up baby again so that you can focus on work and baby snuggles. Will also be useful if you need to get in some work on the weekends.
Anonymous says
Do you have a partner? If so, that person should probably be washing and preparing the bottles.
I am in big law, and I can do it because I have a supportive husband who shoulders half if not more of the home and kid responsibilities. I also have family in town, which helps but is not essential. For the first few months back, cut yourself a lot of slack. Those are going to be the hardest. As for the rest — it’s not easy, but it’s doable if you have enough support.
Anonymous says
And I agree with the comment about considering an au pair plus daycare. That seemed a bit excessive for me with one kid, but once one of my kids reached school age and I had more children, that’s what I did and it has been 100% awesome. The hardest part of daycare is managing what to do when the school is closed or, more often, when your kid needs to stay home due to illness. Au pair takes away all of that stress. As an intermediate step, lots of firms have an arrangement with Bright Horizons or similar that you should figure out before you need it. They contract with nanny agencies that will send someone to your home on short notice, usually with a minimal copay.
Anon says
I found BH totally useless (Bay Area). They could never provide someone on a day’s notice or less and their process for requesting care ate up a bunch of time I could have used trying to get other care.
Anonymous says
It’s been helpful for us in DC in a pinch. I’m not super psyched about leaving kids with someone I’ve never met, but I did twice in a real pinch. If I were to do it again, I would WFH while the person babysat them.
Ashley says
It’s really really hard at first, but doable. In the short term, buy more bottles so they don’t have to be washed as often, and get the dishwasher racks so they can go in the dishwasher with everything else. I would also just accept that your hours are going to be lower for a little while. You may not need a nanny if you like your daycare setting, but try to outsource as many other things as possible. You can do this!
Ashley says
Another thought… could you switch to a daycare close to home? That makes things a pain for evening pickup, but otherwise if baby was not with you on the commute, the commute could be your “me” time (podcasts, music, audio books, whatever makes you happy). And it would make things easier to take baby to daycare if you are able to work from home some days.
Annie says
One thought: are you nursing/pumping? If so you SO should do all of the pump part/bottle cleaning/bottle prep. I’ve drawn a hard line on that over two kids and it’s worked well. My thought is that I spend the time during the day so he has to spend the time in the evening. I’ve always said that if it gets too much for him (reasonable) I would wean early, and he’s been motivated enough to get the kids to the pediatric suggested one-year mark to do the work. YMMV.
TheElms says
I’m a BigLaw senior associate and it is really hard. I have a 6 month old and have been back about a month. Husband is also in BigLaw. We should probably have a nanny but do daycare instead. (Not open for debate at this time.) This is a current day for me:
6:40 Wake up
6:50 Get out of bed/shower/dress
7:20 Nurse and baby snuggles (while I do this Husband feeds pets)
7:50-8:15 Change and dress baby, car seat, load bags in the car / drink a glass of water
8:15-9 Drive downtown to daycare
9-9:30 Drop off baby at daycare walk to office
9:30-9:45 grab some breakfast/coffee
9:45-6:30 Work and pump 3-4 times – have some trouble with pumping output while working so all this time yields about 6-7 hours of actual work.
6:30 Husband has picked up baby at daycare and stops at office to pick me up
7:10 Home and car unloaded
7:10-7:30 Feed pets/feed baby solid food
7:30-8 Play with baby
8-8:45 Husband does bed time while I do load and unload dishwasher and wash pump parts make bottles
8:45-9 Heat something and eat dinner
9:15-11 Work or collapse in a heep
11 Pump
11:30 Bed
Anon says
I’m super impressed with how fast you are able to get ready in the morning! That is one area that I really wish I could improve.
TheElms says
I don’t look especially fantastic, but my hair and clothes are clean.
Buble says
My motto/goal is: “Ugly, but professional.” That is, even if I don’t look attractive or “good,” at least no one can say I look sloppy or work-inappropriate. :)
anon says
I used both nap times during the weekend to catch up. Morning nap (2 hrs) + afternoon nap (2 hrs) + after bedtime (2 hrs) = 12 extra hours per weekend.
When I got behind, I would stay late at work one night per week and have my DH put the baby to bed. Working from 5:30 PM – 10:30 PM = 5 extra hours.
I got a mini fridge for my office so pumping never cost me more than 6 minutes. I could set up in 3 minutes, work while pumping, and clean up in 3 minutes. Put pump parts in the fridge in a tupperware between pumpings.
NYCer says
My biggest piece of advice is to just accept that your hours are going to be lower in the short term and don’t beat yourself up about it. Do the best work you can do, but it is ok if you don’t absolutely crush it hours-wise for the next couple months.
With that as a baseline, an hour commute each way is rough. Would having a nanny shorten the commute at all? (Removing day care drop off?) If so, I would definitely consider switching to a nanny – but then again, I am a total wimp when it comes to long commutes, so YMMV. And I’ll echo the comments of buying more bottles and/or liberally using the dishwasher to cut down on time spent washing bottles.
Finally, it does get easier! You will get into a routine and figure out shortcuts here and there to allow yourself some down time. Two days in is still shock to the system mode!! It is a tough transition from mat leave back to full time biglaw.
EB says
I hired someone to pick the baby up from daycare and watch him for a few hours each evening. I usually tried to be home by 7-8. It was a HUGE stress relief to not have to worry about leaving work to get to daycare by 6. I hired a teacher’s aide, which was great because I knew her job had conducted background checks etc. and her early end of the day meant she was easily available every evening. I always tell new moms that this is the best thing I ever did. I also make liberal use of babysitters on the weekend to get work done when I need to.
Also, if you are pumping, know that that is a HUGE time suck and whenever you finish with that, you will gain hours back in your day.
EB says
Also, cosign the comment above about staying late once a week. I make a habit of doing that. And, if you have not already, make sure you have back up care set up now so that once baby gets sick, you already know what you’re doing and don’t have to scramble or stay home from work to watch them. I used a nanny agency that provides on call sitters.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah +1 on setting yourself up for and giving yourself the freedom to stay late once a week. I found this really good for my productivity, and frankly for my own mental health (a little sad that “me” time was cranking out documents after working hours, but that’s another issue…)
CCLA says
Formerly biglaw, now partner in boutique firm, so different, but I’ll echo that staying late at least once a week and letting DH (or sitter) put kid(s) to bed is important. I get so much done just staying at the office until 8/10/12/whatever is needed, and I far prefer that to using up time on the weekends. But, I also come into the office maybe one weekend day a month and just spend several hours knocking things off my list, It’s super productive because no one is calling, etc.
Also I read, probably here, that some days you’ll be a great parent and not so great lawyer, some days vice versa…and let’s be honest some days meh at both, but don’t get hung up on being 100% at everything every day. Look at a week or a few weeks at a time. I’m in a slower few weeks now and have been putting them to bed with DH and taking the older (age 3) out on special outings just to hang out one on one, but back in Oct I billed almost 300 hours, and DH put the kids to bed a lot more that month and I worked more weekends. It wasn’t a pretty month but it doesn’t happen often, and they got a lot of time with dad solo, which is probably a good thing too.
Anonymous says
I came back October 1 from my first baby into big law. There were a lot of stress induced tears the first two weeks. Two things have helped tremendously = I dropped to 80% utilization and I don’t pump at work (baby gets formula during the day). Yes, I have to log back in at night after baby is asleep, but it’s not every night (maybe 3 nights a week). Not pumping at work is huge for my mental health and makes my days significantly more productive – I can take calls or go to meetings without worrying about a pumping schedule (I am able to maintain nursing in the morning and at night). I’m a transactional practice, and have agreed with my practice group leaders that I’ll generally be in the office 9:30-5 each day, and log back on afterwards. The day (or two days if it’s a particularly large deal) before a closing I will arrange for other childcare/husband to be home early so I can stay late to get the deal closed. Other things that help – we have a nanny, so we don’t have to fact in time to drop baby off at daycare, incredibly supportive husband (also a lawyer, but in house at a bank so very set 9-5 bankers hours) who does more than 50% of the cooking/mealprep/laundry stuff at home, a full double monitor set up at home in a dedicated office (I have a work laptop, so it just docks at home the same way it does at work) – this makes working from home 10000% more productive than trying to use citrix on a tiny laptop screen, very supportive partners that I work for that I have a lot of “political capital” with who know that I’ll be available at some point and that I get my work done at some point, an agreement that if the current arrangement at work is not working, we will talk about it and not be passive aggressive towards each other, and clients that generally don’t email between like 5:30 and 8 pm, so that I can have time with my baby before he goes to bed.
Advice that was given to me – the choice you make today that you think is best for your family may be totally different than a choice you make tomorrow that is best for your family. You will feel like you are giving less than 100% as a mom, as an employee, as a wife and as a friend. It’s okay, you don’t need to give 100% in all areas.
Blueberries says
I left big law, but here’s what I did:
-enough bottles and pump parts so I wouldn’t have to wash daily. I used the pump parts in a gallon bag in my office mini-fridge method to cut down on number of parts. I think everything went in the dishwasher (or maybe my SO washed some pump parts? It was awhile ago).
-dinner delivery service
-SO and I traded off daycare/nanny relief responsibilities so one of us could go in early/stay late
-weekly housekeeping service
-minimal effort on appearance—I had a ton of Karen Kane wrap dresses that are Freemie-pump friendly and machine-washable.
-high end nanny service on call for back up nannies
Ultimately, my practice in big law wasn’t compatible with how I wanted to live and I left. I still miss the work and colleagues, though.
shortperson says
ive been in biglaw as a mom for five years, promoted to counsel last year, not partner, maybe one day, so take it with a grain of salt. we also do daycare. but we have a housekeeper 4 days a week and do not do laundry or dishes. i typically have two days a week where i arrive early and leave late and dont see kids. i also work from home a lot. see i fyou can. that cuts the commute and the dressing time. also we have a babysitter 2-7 every sunday so i can guarantee work 12-7 (including naptime for baby and screentime for big kid) if necessary.
Coach Laura says
ALC – this is an amazing response with so many good ideas. I’ve got nothing to add but wish you success and happiness as a working mom.
ALC says
Thank you all! I really appreciate this thread and this site.
anon says
Posting super late, but in case it’s helpful – I’m in BigLaw (partner now, but had three kids as an associate), and here are my tips:
– three sets of pump parts, everything goes in a bowl of soapy water at the end of the day with bottle parts, DH assembles and makes bottles.
– pumping got waaaay easier – my first day back, it took 45 minutes each time and I wanted to cry. By the end, I could pump in 10 minutes (which I spent working).
– I go through my email while nursing.
– we split pick up/dropoff, pretty strictly at first. We eventually got a nanny when my oldest started school to do pickups and it was a game changer. But I wasn’t willing to do it with a baby.
– outsource as much as you can
– I get dressed in ten minutes. Ugly but professional for sure. Also, all my shoes live in the office (I walk my kids to school in sneakers)
– TBH, I don’t get a ton of personal time. Personal time to me is working from home and going out to lunch with my iPad. Or volunteering in my kids’ classes, which is not personal time but super important to me.
Emily S. says
Wise hive, I could use advice on dealing with cliques. My daughter is 4.5 and one of 5 girls in her preschool class. Yesterday, we learned from her teachers that 4 of the girls (including mine) are excluding the 5th girl: not playing with her, telling her she can’t sit next to them, etc. The teachers have talked to the class and the girls about kindness, etc., but when it didn’t get better, spoke with parents. We’re not sure if our daughter is the leader or a follower. DH and I individually talked to our daughter, sharing our experiences of being excluded and teased, and DD and I brainstormed ways to be nice and include this girl (my favorite was that DD could tell her, “You throw balls good.”) DH told her this was an opportunity to be a leader and be nice and include her. I asked the teacher to let us know how that’s going over the next few weeks (as if she doesn’t have enough to do.) We’ve read the Berenstain Bears In Crowd. Any other book recommendations? Any one had this experience and could share what worked?
ElisaR says
it sounds like you’re handling it really well. I’m not sure what else you can do but I want to say THANK YOU for addressing it and trying to help (from a formerly excluded kid)
Anon says
+1 Sounds like you’re doing a great job. My kiddo is barely 2 but I already have low-key anxiety about her being the excluded girl, because I was always the excluded girl, and this is pretty much exactly how I’d want other parents to handle it.
anon says
Have the excluded girl over for a playdate (or at a playground) so she gets to know your daughter better.
Emily S. says
I thought about that but I didn’t want it to be seen as a “pity” invite. My girl does much better with one-on-one and I thought that if she got to know her friend this way, she would be more likely to play with her at school. Thanks for the suggestion; I will try to set up a playdate!
Nan says
I don’t think I’d worry about a “pity invite” at this age. Once they get to be older elementary or middle school it’s harder, but at this age I think it’s a great idea to have her over.
Nan says
Oh, and I second the others who have said it sounds like you are handling this perfectly!
Anon says
You’re doing a great job. The only thing I can think of to add – for a similar situation in 4 year old preschool, we reminded her every morning at drop off to do something nice for that friend, and then asked what she did every day at dinner. She didn’t do it every day, and we would just say “no worries, just try again tomorrow” and aim for a nice thing on more days than not. Sometimes it was just as silly as your “you threw balls good” but what mattered was not icing out the other kid.
That evolved to a family mantra that “Anons are kind” that we repeat regularly. We try to discuss kind things we do every night at dinner to try to reinforce that, and some days I’m reaching to find something kind to do so I can talk about it with my kids. It seems to be going better for my younger kids because they’ve heard it consistently from almost birth, and they have a large database of options to choose from. They still love to repeat the “I didn’t yell at X when they made me really mad” that my husband used two whole years ago.
CCLA says
Thank you, I love this and I can see it being good for adults too. Going to try to implement it with our 3-yo.
Vacation says
Any suggestions of where to take a one week baby moon with a 19 month old in January or early February? Would like to go somewhere warm, no Zika, toddler friendly, and not too long of a flight from the Midwest (Ohio). Toddler has never flown. Somewhere on a beach would be nice but not mandatory. Just need to get out of the snow and enjoy a prebaby trip (due early summer). Thanks!
Anon says
We love the Riviera Maya (Cancun area) of Mexico. There are lots of great all-inclusive if you really want to chill, but you can also stay at a boutique hotel and explore the local area more. Mexico (and I believe most of the rest of the Caribbean) is no longer in an active Zika outbreak per CDC, but I would still probably consult my doctor.
Vacation says
Thanks. That’s usually our go-to also but I asked my OB yesterday and he said he wouldn’t advise it considering that I’m only starting the second trimester and usually get bit everywhere I go.
Anon says
Oh bummer. Maybe Miami then? We stayed there pre-kid, but One Hotel South Beach is gorgeous and kid-friendly.
NYCer says
Last I checked (granted, a while ago), Grand Cayman was zika free. We went two years ago over New Years and had a great time. We stayed at the Kimpton Seafire.
anon says
Scottsdale/Phoenix? we went mid-February and it was unseasonably cold and rainy ( low 60s) that sucked because we couldn’t swim. But it was still 50 degrees warmer than home and a direct flight so that was great.
Anonymous says
My family has signed up to buy holiday gifts for a couple of needy kids this season, and both have requested shoes. My own kid is too young to wear shoes yet, so I’m turning to the hive: Where can I get high-quality sneakers for a 2 and a 4 year old? I get that they’ll grow out of them quickly, but I also suspect these families may need to use them for absolutely as long as possible (or maybe pass along to a sibling, friend, etc) and I want to maximize their ability to do that. TIA!
Anonymous says
Keen and Merrell have lasted well for us.
Anonymous says
Stride rite were our go-to sneakers until age 5. They wore really well. I always got a size or so up.
Anon says
If you want, maybe you could buy a pair in their size and also in the next size up? That might make them last longer than trying to buy the most durable kids shoes.
Anonymous says
Zappos. I don’t think really long-lasting shoes are really a thing, at least not that I’ve figured out. If you want to be extra generous, you can buy one in one size and one in the next size up.
Em says
If you have an outlet store near you, we buy my almost 4-year-old Converse shoes from their outlet store that hold up well.
Anonymous says
+1 The Converse shoes I’ve bought are the only ones I’ve been able to pass down. (But I don’t spend $70 on toddler shoes).
Anonymous says
Plae is the best we’ve found for sneakers.
AwayEmily says
Our Sauconys have lasted through three kids.
anon says
My kids have had good luck with the bump toe Osh Kosh sneakers. They hold up well and were recently on sale for $12/pair. You could consider getting multiple sizes at that price point.
CCLA says
We used stride rite until about size 7, then switched to tsukihoshi. We would buy a couple of pairs in each size to rotate, and most survived well enough for kid 2 to use them after a toss in the wash, even with daycare level usage.
Anon says
Dissenting comment here – I try to buy the shoes (yes in two sizes) from a local big store like Walmart or Target, and get a gift receipt. Especially as kids get to preschool and above, they have opinions on what they want to wear. Gifting someone fancy shoes that are expensive but hard to return feels like more of a hassle than getting them two sizes of shoes that they can easily exchange if they don’t fit or if the kid likes a different kind. I do the same for clothes – I buy each kid a coat and two layered outfits from an easy store for the parents to access and exchange.
I don’t usually like to shop at Walmart, but I make exceptions for donations. My theory is that the parents will likely go to a Walmart or Target already so I’m not adding a trip for them, and worst case, if the kid hates all the options, they can exchange for store credit and get groceries or home goods instead. This is somewhat reinforced by our local holiday drive organization, as they will list the parent’s “preferred stores for gift cards if applicable” and it’s almost always Walmart or Target.
Anonymous says
if it’s a 4 y/o girl, get light up sketchers. if you want to get two pair, also get pumas with glitter. I’d include a gift receipt in case they don’t fit.
For the 2 y/o, go with stride rite or Plae (if they fit into the toddler size range- i think they used to start at 7.5). I’ve had 3 2 y/os and they have all worn different brands at that age for sneakers- plaes are the most forgiving/flexible.
non-slip socks for winter says
any suggestions for no-slip socks for a preschooler to wear around the house? she refuses to keep slippers on but the floor is too cold to go barefoot! any brands you’ve tried and like?
Anon says
I feel like kids have a different tolerance for cold than we do. If she’s not complaining about the cold floor, I would just let her go barefoot.
Mrs. Jones says
+1
Anonymous says
I have found it hard to keep to grippy socks, but we need them or my 3yo slips and falls all the time. The only ones I have found are Gap Kids. Would love to know if there are more options!
Anonymous says
You could try slipper socks – it appears Hanna Andersson and H&M have them. Lands End have some that have no soles but a gripper on the bottom.
You can also paint a squiggle of fabric paint on the bottom of regular socks – the kind of paint that is slightly raised, like Tulip Dimensional Fabric Paint.
Anonymous says
She’s a preschooler. Let her fall or let her go barefoot. My preschooler has ice cold feet 99% of the time. My other two kids wisely wear grippy socks, socks, or slippers.
Need encouragement says
Has anyone had nausea that comes and goes in early first trimester and everything turns out ok? This is the second day that I’ve felt decent most of the day and I’ve had two miscarriages before so I’m worried. I’m only 6 weeks so it’s too soon for it to just be gone. Ugh, this is hard.
Anon says
I was never nauseous at all with my healthy baby. Also a friend was super sick (HG) with one kid, not sick at all with her second child. It varies so much from pregnancy to pregnancy so you really can’t read anything into lack of nausea. I know it’s hard though. Hugs!
EB0220 says
Yes, in both of my pregnancies the nausea came and went.
Anon. says
With my first I had no nausea at all. Currently 8 months with my second. During the first tri some days I felt great; some days I felt Awful. Every pregnancy is different.
Need encouragement says
Thank you! I have been having a lot of nausea some days and not others, so this is helpful to hear. I know I need to just wait and see what happens, but man, it is hard.
All Day Ick says
I was low level nauseous all day with my first for ten weeks. Seven weeks so far this time, and I have to have something before getting out of bed in the morning, then am fine all day, but struggle to keep anything down for dinner. (Tried plain brown rice and that was an epic fail.) Under close monitoring and so far the doctors say all is fine. Hang in there!
AnonATL says
I just entered my 6th week with my first, and my lack of nausea concerns me as well. I definitely have smell aversions and just sort of a feeling of fullness almost constantly. Like if I were to gag myself brushing my teeth or something, it would all come up. I have plenty of other symptoms (sore breasts, terrible acne, back pain, fatigue, etc) to make up for it.
My mom had no nausea with me or my brother, so maybe we just have some magical anti-morning sickness genes. My first scan is scheduled for next week, so we shall see then.
Hugs from a fellow nervous preggo.
GCA says
Anecdata – my nausea with both pregnancies kind of came and went around weeks 6-7 and was worst around weeks 8-10, so it may peak yet!
Anon says
I had no nausea whatsoever and am due in seven weeks, so there’s that. :)
For what it’s worth, there’s an old wives tale that less nausea indicates a boy.
Anon says
I had no nausea with either of my girls. I have a very strong stomach though. I never get motion sick and I’ve only thrown up a handful of times in my life.
JTM says
6wks was always too early for the nausea for me. Mine would kick in around weeks 9-10, as the placenta is starting to take over for the yolk sac. It’s possible that you’re fine now but your nausea will really start up in a few weeks.
Pumps says
I just found out that my insurance only covers Medela for pumps. Should I plan to just buy a Spectra? Everything I’ve heard seems to indicate that the S1 is the Cadillac of pumps, the Medela gets mildewy, etc. Anyone have a good experience with Medela?
I don’t know why I’m weirdly sad about this, but think I have a lot of pregnant lady hormones about not having the “best” option.
EB0220 says
I used a Medela Freestyle for both kids and it was fine. My first was born before pumps were covered so I bought the Freestyle. For the second pregnancy, insurance covered a Medela Pump in Style but I still used the Freestyle at work.
Anon says
I had a Medela PISA and it was totally fine. I didn’t pump a whole lot (only once/day, 5 days per week, for <6 months) but I found the pump very comfortable, easy to use, and I got plenty of milk per session. I am sure spending $200 on the Spectra would not have been worth it for me, since the Medela met my needs just fine. But if you don’t like the Medela once you’re using it you can always buy the Spectra then.
EB says
You might not be interested in this, but I just finished pumping and am planning to sell my spectra s1. It is a closed system, so if you buy new flanges and tubes, there should be no concern of contamination etc. I only used it for four months and found it to be a lot better than my PISA that I used for my first because it is rechargeable so you’re not tied to a wall, it has a little flashlight in the handle, and again, it’s a closed system so no mildew like I had in the PISA tubes. I am going to sell it for $50 plus shipping. I will also throw in the extra duckbills I bought to go with it.
I also have a freemie independence that I never used. I only used the cups and never even turned the pump on.
If you’re interested in either, post an email I can contact you at!
Anon says
I pumped with the PISA for months and never got any mildew in the tubes? The tubes shouldn’t get wet or get any milk in them at all if you’re using the pump correctly.
EB says
It didn’t happen often – maybe once or twice over the course of 7 months or so. But when I discovered it, I was totally freaked out and wondered how long it had been there without me noticing and felt terrible about it!
It was a while ago, but I think I am remembering correctly – my tubes would get condensation in them, I think. I never really researched why it was happening because it wasn’t a huge deal, but you’re right it probably was user error.
Anon. says
I used a Medela PISA for my first and pumped daily, multiple times a day from 4 months to 11 months. No issues, plenty of production, never had a hint of mildew. (I hated pumping, but that wasn’t Medela’s fault.)
ElisaR says
i had a fine experience w/ the medela!
SC says
I had a fine experience with the Medela PIS. I used it for about 3 months and didn’t have an issue with mold. If I had a second baby and planned to pump, I would probably buy a Spectra because other people seem to like it so much.
That said, I would wait and see. You may decide (or need) to use formula and not pump at all. I ended up renting a Medela Symphony for the first 3 months and purchased extra Medela parts, and I would not have wanted to switch brands. I’d just make the decision closer to when you return to work.
JTM says
I bought a Spectra for my first baby 3yrs ago off Groupon, so it was cheaper. And it was totally worth it! I got more milk from the Spectra and it was really convenient to have 1 pump at the office and 1 pump at home.
Anon says
Daycare does a holiday cash collection for staff, which we will contribute to. The email also says that people can choose to give individual gifts “instead of or in addition to” the collection. I’m assuming we should give individual gifts to kiddo’s teachers? And probably a stupid question, but how do you gracefully hand them the envelope? There’s almost always a floater/aide in the room at drop-off and pick-up and I will not be doing individual gifts for these people (most of whom I don’t even know by name), so I feel very awkward handing a teacher a gift in front of them. Also, frequently one or both of the teachers is preoccupied (changing a baby, rocking a baby) when I’m in the room. I feel like it’s going to be so awkward for them to stop whatever they’re doing so they can accept the envelope. I know I’m probably overthinking this but I’m awkward to begin with and have no experience giving people cash gifts in person (I happily give cash at weddings, but you can mail a check & card in that situation).
EB says
I put it in a card and say, “[BABY] got you a holiday gift.” They say thank you and usually put it down and open it later. They usually thank us again at pick up and then it never comes up again. It’s not a big deal and all the other parents will be doing the same.
rosie says
Why not just do the group collection and let daycare distribute it to all? Am I missing something?
Anon says
I will contribute to the group collection and let that be my gift for floaters, kitchen staff and other staff I don’t know well, but I’d like to give a larger amount directly to my daughter’s teachers, who are wonderful. Also, from the tone of the email and talking to a couple other parents, it seems like individual teacher gifts are standard in addition to the group collection, and I don’t want to be the a-hole who doesn’t do it.
Anon. says
Our first daycare had gift bags for each teacher set out in the office so you could drop envelopes in without the awkward hand-off. I so wish that our new place would adopt the same strategy.
But yeah, everybody else is doing the same awkward dance. Hand it to teacher and go about your business. It’ll be fine.
anne-on says
In that situation I’d do cash for the teachers, and ask the director if there is a good day that you can cater breakfast or lunch for all the staff. I usually did that for the holidays to cover my bases with floaters and it was always a big hit.
Anon says
What should I get my husband’s colleague who is having a baby? I don’t know her well enough to know her tastes, but I’ve met her and her husband probably half a dozen times and like them, and they got us a baby gift a couple years ago, so I would like to get something. No registry. (And yes I know this is technically my husband’s responsibility but this is how we divide chores and I’m fine doing it).
EB says
Is it their first? I like to get new parents the things I really loved, like a merlin suit or a set of magntic me PJs.
Anon says
It is their first. I don’t really have any practical products I swore by though! I’m kind of a minimalist and didn’t buy much outside of the essentials.
DLc says
Things I appreciated:
Clothes in bigger sizes (6 or 9 month)
A nice bottle brush
Amazon gift card
Muslim Swaddle blankets
Board books (my favorite for babies is Look Look – it’s black and white which I guess babies like)
NYCer says
I would get her a cute outfit for the baby in 3-6 month size and throw in a favorite board book or two.
NYCer says
Or even 6-9 month size.
Anon says
I know baby clothes are a very common gift suggestion, but it seems risky for someone you don’t know well because “cute” is subjective. Someone who finds Primary cute is not likely to find most of what Carter’s sells cute and vice versa. We got some astoundingly fugly (imo) baby clothes as gifts – onesies with tacky slogans like “mommy’s little princess,” shorts with frilly butts, weirdly “sexy” clothing like leopard print crop tops. Plus, we got a lot of clothes that were for the wrong season and would be outgrown by the time the right season arrived – like fleece footie PJs in 9-12M size, which isn’t illogical for a February baby, but my kid was big and was wearing 12M clothes in August and September when it was 90 degrees outside.
Anonymous says
I got a crop top too! Even the woman working the return counter at Target commented on it. Why would ANYONE buy a crop top for a newborn?!
NYCer says
Well I appreciated the bigger sized baby clothes that some of my colleagues that I don’t know well got me before my baby was born, so that is why I suggested it. Most of the clothes came from Baby Gap and none of it was fugly or tacky. So I guess this is a know your audience / buyer sort of situation. And all of it was seasonally appropriate. Maybe I just got lucky!
rosie says
Get a few books that you liked and some staple item — Aden & Anais swaddle blankets in a cute print (even if they end up using special swaddle things, the blankets are useful for many things), onesies, a hat, a teething toy, etc.
A few notes on the above suggestions: I would not get the magic merlin as a gift unless the person specifically requested it (our peds said it’s not technically a safe sleep item — I know many people use this and other items as crucial to getting any sleep, but let them make that call). I would avoid Am*zon gcs right now unless specifically requested given that some people are strongly anti- right now.
Ashley says
I just did something similar and bought the cloud island zipper pajamas from Target–three in a pack, and I bought 3-6 month and 6-9 month. I loved those things on my little one, especially since they are one of the few brands that zip up from the bottom.
Ashley says
I also like to give people the FridaBaby gift set. I use those products ALL the time, and l find lots of new parents don’t know about them.
Anonymous says
I vote for books. Some people can have really particular clothing tastes, but there are a lot of timeless books out there (and new, awesome ones too!)
Anon says
What about a Monkey Mat? We still use ours 5 years later. It’s great for the beach.
Anonymous says
Clothes: Something from BabyGap in a size 3-6 or 6-9 month, with gift receipt. Nordstrom is a good spot for baby clothes too- again, with gift receipt.
Blankets: Get a Little Unicorn muslin quilt blanket (a fave in our house) or wait until the baby is born and send a personalized blanket from Pottery Barn kids.
Stuffed animals: A cute jellycat
Add a board book or two to any of the above.
I have 3 girls. Any of those gifts would have been great with any of them ( no matter that i had TONS of outfits by the time I got to #3!) In fact it’s about 85-90% of what we got!
anon says
Honestly, I would buy *anything* from Target. And include a gift receipt. I would do books + stuffed animal + a cute outfit. In any event, they can return it and buy diapers.
Anonymous says
We just started solid foods in our house and are not having any luck with the baby eating them… just refusal to open mouth, etc. We or the nanny may manage to get a bite in, but that’s it. I know that DS is not getting any nutrition from solid foods at the moment, but I would like for him to be trying them…. My husband (the chef in the family) is making all of the baby food and baby cereals and is super excited about making the food generally (honestly, any excuse to cook anything). We’ve tried purees of broccoli, carrots, sweet potato and rice cereal and oat cereal… Does anyone have suggestions of equipment (bowls, spoons), methods of eating, or other suggestions? I know that it’s a process and this process won’t be linear, but looking for any ideas! TIA!
Anon says
Honestly, the best thing you can do is take a breather and try again in a week or two, or try different foods. As you noted, he does not need solid food from a nutritional standpoint, and the only thing you’re going to accomplish by forcing it is turning mealtime into a battle which you do NOT want to do – that will have lasting effects well into toddlerhood, whereas when your kid is 3 no one will know or care if you started solids at 5 months or 7 months. Also, fwiw, some kids never take to purees. My kid ate solids very sporadically and poorly until we introduced small finger foods shortly before 8 months once she had a crude pincer grasp. She took to finger foods so completely and immediately at that point, that she self-weaned from bottles (still nursing morning and night) before a year. It will come in time, and the most important thing at this age is that mealtime is enjoyable (at least for the baby…perhaps not for the parents who have to clean up).
Anonymous says
+1 to taking a breather and trying again. When our first was 4 months our ped recommended we feed him solids once a week or so until he seemed to “take” to it, and then once a day for a couple of weeks. He was probably 6 months before he was eating solids 3 meals a day.
anon says
Just keep trying. Also maybe bananas? I mean, my kids don’t love broccoli or carrots still… don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good here? (And I’m all about veggie purees too, but if you have a reluctant eater might try some fruit!)
Anon says
Yes, try fruit. The idea that giving your kids sweeter foods first will ruin their taste for healthier stuff has been pretty thoroughly debunked, I think (although I still got judgy eyes from some friends for giving my DD mashed banana as her first food).
Anonymous says
Skip purees and just chop what you are eating into small pieces and put on the tray. We started adding salt at the table vs. when cooking so we could just feed the kids what we were eating. Cheerios are also good as a first food that’s fun to pick up. Waffles or pancakes cut into strips are also good.
Anonymous says
+1 I agree to stop for a week or two he may just not be ready. Some kids actually aren’t ready until 8-9 months.And more food he can feed himself rather than purées on a spoon. Strips of avocado, waffles, strained chicken noodle soup (homemade) with mushy carrots. Try an orange slice with the peel on that he can just chew on. And are you all eating together or does he get a seperate mealtime? Basically from 6 months on we just have DD whatever we are during dinner and plopped her into the high chair and let her eat or not eat. The secret of baby led weaning is that it’s a wayyyy lazier and easier way to feed your kid haha.
Anon says
FeedingLittles on Instagram…. it has been, hands down, the absolute best resource for us.
TheElms says
You might also try a commercially bought baby food (in the beginning) because the texture is smoother. My 6 month old will eat pureed green beans from the store, an actual green bean, but will not touch the green beans I steamed and pureed for her.
Diapers Needed?? says
Our not-quite-2 year old son is peeing out of his diapers at night. We tried sizing up, but it’s mainly leaking out the top. We adjust him before bed to point “down”, but 5 of 7 nights in the last two weeks have been changing clothes and bedding in the morning. He wears size 5 during the day, I bought 6s (!) for nighttime but it hasn’t solved it. Tried putting on 2 diapers, still no go.
What am I doing wrong?
Anon says
My not-quite 2 year old (girl, fwiw) just switched to 7s at night, so it doesn’t seem inconceivable to me that he could need a bigger size. There are diapers specifically advertised for night time, are you using those?
Anonymous says
Diaper booster. Our DD is a camel and just has massive pees at night.
Anonymous says
I would try sizing up again. I found that the diapers got too short long before my kid hit the recommended weight for the next size up.
Anon says
We just started with Huggies overnight diapers. Also, another trick of the trade is to put a maxi pad inside his diaper at night.
Diapers Needed?? says
Thanks, everyone. I will invest in overnights (we buy at Costco usually) and if that isn’t working will get the liners.
Anonymous says
We added an overnight maxi pad to a night diaper from 2 or 2.5 until kiddo night trained around 4. Even had to put in in the giant big kid overnight pull up he was wearing by 4. It worked 70% of the time. We just got a tolerance for changing out of wet pjs first thing in the morning.
Anon says
Is there a sunscreen that you’ve found particularly effective and easy to apply to toddlers? Taking a beach vacation soon with my almost 2 yo, who is super fair and burns easily and I don’t want to miss a spot, especially in the folds of her adorably chubby legs (she will wear a long-sleeved rashguard for swimming). Not so concerned with chemicals in the sunscreen since this is only for a week. I just want what is most effective.
Anonymous says
I like Ombrelle. We do short sleeve rashguards as I found the long sleeve ones tended to trap sand and make the kids itch. I also did boyshort cut bottoms for my daughter to reduce the areas to be sunscreened.
AwayEmily says
I dressed my daughter only in boy’s swim trunks + rashguard during all of her toddler years. Swim trunks seem much more practical in general for playing and the additional coverage also cut down on potential sunburn.
In terms of sunscreen, we’ve tried Coppertone, Aveeno, ThinkBaby, and Blue Lizard. The Coppertone was by far the easiest to apply.
Anonymous says
If you have Trader Joe’s, the Trader Joe’s spray sunscreen is great for arms and legs.
Anon says
We do long sleeve rashguards and I like Neutrogena baby (for her and for me). We apply before going out in the morning, we go back inside for lunch and nap, and then reapply before going back out after nap. Also highly recommend a baby pup tent or umbrella for extra shade, but I too am very fair so it’s not just a toddler problem. Also, my toddler spent her beach time running up and down the beach, so TBD whether you will actually be able to sit (and plan accordingly).
Anon says
Thanks all for the suggestions! Yeah, we’re hoping that between lunch and nap we can mostly stay out of the sun from 10-3 when it’s most intense, and will definitely reapply sunscreen after nap. When I said “beach vacation” I meant the hotel is at the beach but I expect we’ll spend most of our time in the pool or just running around outside (she does not sit still these stays) but we’ll see. Allegedly, the max UV index where we’re going is 6 at this time of year, which isn’t that intense (it’s 8-9 in the summer even in the Midwest) but I feel like there’s something different about the sun in the Caribbean that makes you burn more easily, so I’m not sure how much stock to put in the numbers.
PinkKeyboard says
This is probably not popular, but I bought store brand spray (Target or Wegmans) and just spritzed the heck out of them and then smeared it in. Then sprayed it on my hands to wipe all over their faces. I just erred on using an excess versus when I do myself and I’m trying to conserve.
Buble says
Did y’all read the “morning routine” thread on the main s!te today? The routines that didn’t involve kids sounded GLORIOUS. I mean, we’ve got people over there hanging out reading the NEWSPAPER for an HOUR. People waking up after EIGHT!!!!!!!!!
I love my kids but wow. It sounded really, really nice. (And of course before I was a mom I did the same things and had no appreciation for how luxurious they would later sound.)
Anon says
Yes before I was a mom I apparently had all this glorious time and squandered it. I want to go back and yell at my former self to appreciate all that freedom and time I had. About the only thing I did of use was a regular exercise routine, which has gone far by the wayside as a 5-day-a-week solo parent to 2 early elementary kids.
Reading that thread did give me some perspective though – no wonder I can’t get in any regular exercise. I need to give myself a lot more grace on the time management front and realize just how much of a timesuck my current home life truly is.
Buble says
Amen. Just taking the kids to school and dropping them off adds 20 minutes on my commute twice a day. Boom, there’s 40 minutes of exercise a day I could otherwise get in. That’s not even touching the time spent on the kids and “kid stuff” while actually at home.
Anonymous says
I soooooo miss having time to read the paper while I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Now I am shoving toast in my mouth while putting kids’ stuff in bags. To be fair, previous pre-kids job started at 9 and current job starts at 8…
Anonymous says
I second Scottsdale. Might not be a beach, but the resorts all have nice pools and lounge areas and the weather should be good.