WFH Friday: Essential Knit Funnel

Just need to vent. My parents recently moved very close to us and committed to picking kiddos up from school and watching them in the afternoons this year. Helping with the kids was a big part of the reason they moved closer, and they were overly effusive about their desire to be “helpful” and that they were “available to watch the kids as much as needed” before school actually started. Well, fast forward a month into school, and they have now flaked out more than 50% of the time they agreed to, including for a last minute “vacation” that they told us about the day before they left. We’ve made it really clear how much of a problem this is, but they still seem to think it’s no big deal if they’re unavailable because DH works remotely and is home anyway. He is livid (me, too), and it’s clear that this arrangement is just not going to work moving forward. So, now we’re trying to figure out a whole new childcare arrangement and also know that my parents will be offended and hurt when we tell them that we’re changing course. They have been super defensive when we’ve tried to talk about their unreliability so far and tend to take any perceived criticism very personally. I’m dreading the epic martyrdom that is coming, but mostly, I’m so irritated that I agreed to this in the first place instead of just paying for reliable childcare. TGIF!!

Any recommendations for post partum undies? Having a planned c section if that makes a difference. My regular underwear is worn out – in the past I did generic high waisted briefs from Target but I think there’s better options out there. TIA!

My new kindergartener is, as expected, riding the Hot Mess Express this week. My oldest spent her first few weeks of K in tears. This kiddo (my middle) is overtired/overwhelmed but instead of tears we get spastic energy + unbridled rage.

What’s worked: Completely undivided 1:1 attention from an adult when she gets off the bus until she eventually goes to bed. Ideally with a calm but focused task. She seems to like brushing/braiding my hair, or doing a puzzle with DH. Anything involving playing with a sibling turns to an immediate fight. She cannot play by herself, either (though is normally great at this).

Screens are a temporary band-aid- I tried popcorn and a movie and that was great until one of her sisters had to pee and paused (or asked to pause) the movie and literally all hell broke loose.

Going to bed early is a non-starter. In fact, she’s so overtired that she’s missing her normal bedtime (she’s in her room but keeps popping out of bed until 30 min later than she should be; starting earlier only has made it worse).

We can’t keep ignoring work and our other kids to give her 1:1 time from 3pm-8pm so I need some ideas for how to manage as the weeks wear on. This will eventually get better but…it is not better yet. Yesterday I did a dance party complete with disco ball where I held my K kiddo and danced while my other two danced around. That killed an hour. One night she was incapable of eating, so I put her in the bathtub and fed her dinner in there while she rested. Tonight we are going to try more physical activity by bringing her to the playground next to my older kid’s soccer practice and having a pizza picnic.

The hardest part of this all is that when she is overtired she is MEAN. Like borderline cruel/nasty to her siblings…and I know she can’t help it. Hitting, shoving, saying mean things. We have been trying to keep them totally separate since K kiddo is incapable of reason in this state. When well slept she is normally a great kid.

My oldest melts down in a puddle of sad mopey tears and can be consoled with hugs and snuggles when stressed/overtired. My youngest needs love and cuddles. My middle…we just can’t figure out what she needs, other than attention. and I’m hoping time.

Ideas?? (FWIW her K teacher says she’s doing awesome. So at least this is only a home problem.)

Did anyone have a big physical reaction to weaning from nursing? I haven’t really been having clogs, so don’t think it’s mastitis, but have felt weirdly flu-like, nauseous, and feverish. And also emotionally so raw. For once, no one else in the household is sick, which is part of why I’m thinking this is related to weaning.

GEEZE are we having a rough transition to preschool. I’d like to hear from anyone who has experience with “that kid”? Runs away, throws things, won’t wear a mask, doesn’t play with things for its intended purpose? My almost 3yo is tough as a baseline, barely napped (when usually does 1.5-2hrs) and was misbehaving so much the school asked me to get him early on his first day. I don’t want him to have the “bad kid” label pinned on him so early as my kid is the youngest in the class (and school). Should I slow the intro? Just send him for the morning for a few weeks and let him nap at home until it’s more familiar and then add hours later (we can temporarily stretch and try to make this work)?