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“I’m can’t wait to network again!” said no one. But, if you’re hitting the conference circuit again, perhaps this card case will make schmoozing more pleasant.
This envelope-shaped card case is made of full grain leather and is fully lined. It holds about 30 business cards (or 11 credit cards), features a hidden snap closure, and comes in nine colors (I love the pictured “rose,” a soft, subtle pink).
For an additional $10, you can have it monogrammed.
This card case from Leatherology is $40.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anonamama says
I’m striking out left and right with bubble machines and bubble guns. Any recs for one that *might* make it the whole summer? I’ve heard good solution makes a big difference too.
HSAL says
With the caveat that you need an outlet, search for bubble machines on Amazon, and get the one that’s a black hexagon. Not linking to avoid m0d. It’s a Prime special for $24.20 right now. I love it. It makes SO many bubbles and it’s really quiet. We did have to replace it last summer, but that was probably our fault, and we used the second one late last summer and so far this summer with no issues.
anonamama says
Found it! Thank you.
AnonATL says
I have this card case and love it. I use it as my primary wallet, and it’s so easy to slide in my pocket and go.
Anonanonanon says
This is a cute one!
I also use a card case for my primary wallet and haven’t looked back, I love it.
dc anon says
Do you give your kids’ public elementary school teachers a cash/gift card gift at the end of the year?
I am planning to send a thank you email and an e-gift card…one kid has 4 teachers and one kid has 3 teachers.
Anonymous says
We didn’t. We meant too, but life got in the way. We were very generous at Christmas and Teacher Appreciation week (which was two weeks before my kiddo got out of school…it did feel a little odd to give a similar gift right away again).
anon says
I also give to the class gift for Christmas and teacher appreciation week, but not a separate end of year monetary gift. If I saw them in person, might give something like flowers from my garden and a note.
I don’t like the idea of separate monetary gifts, especially at a school where parents have drastically different incomes.
Anon says
Yes. There was no class gift organized, so I wanted to get something. This year, I did $15 gift cards for the bus driver and bus helper, and a $50 card for the main teacher. In years past I’ve also done small gift cards for the specials teachers, but for whatever reason I didn’t this year
Aunt Jamesina says
When I taught in Illinois, we were not permitted to accept gifts beyond a nominal amount. Check if your state has any prohibitions on public employees receiving gifts. I never received cash and I would have felt extremely uncomfortable with it if I had. I remember one colleague getting cash and going to our principal to figure out what to do (she gave it back to the parent). I realize cash is a common gift for daycare providers, but they earn substantially less than teachers (even if many teachers don’t earn that much!). I’d stick with a Target gift card so they can use it on themselves or supplies for the classroom.
anon says
Yup. State law varies widely on what gifts/items public teachers are allowed to accept, but they almost universally agree that cash, or cash equivalent like a GC, is prohibited.
Anonymous says
Yes – standard here is gift before Christmas and at end of school year. Usually gift card and chocolates or flowers. Gifting during teacher appreciation week is not common – that’s more like the school council planning events for all teachers.
Anonymous says
Our school typically has the class parent do a collection and then give one giftcard from the whole class, regardless of who actually donates. NYC public school. My husband teaches HS and typically gets some chocolates and random stuff, but no $$.
Hair Help says
What do you do with your hair when swimming to prevent it from knotting? I don’t mean swimming laps but just horsing around with the kids in the pool. Nothing seems to work for me! Additionally, when do you take it out of whatever hairstyle you have it in? Do you wait for it to dry?
Anonymous says
I put it up in a high bun with hopes of keeping it all dry.
Knope says
Me too. I use one of those spiral hair ties that look like a phone cord – it is gentler on my curly hair.
Anon says
I have straight fine hair. I spray it with leave-in conditioner first, then put it up in a bun. It doesn’t look great but it keeps it out of my face and off my back. I have no basis for this but I think the conditioner helps protect the hair from chlorine and makes it a little easier to brush out afterwards. I use a wet brush after I’m done toweling off – usually the kids are sitting down enjoying a snack so they dry off a bit before we leave – and brush my hair then.
I do something similar for my daughter who has long thick straight hair, but I don’t take her bun out right away. I usually wait until we’re home and brush it out right before she showers so she can get all of the chlorine off. (If she doesn’t wash her hair, after a few days her scalp gets pretty dry and flaky.)
Anonymous says
I braid it
AnonATL says
I usually wear a ball cap at the beach and it keeps my hair tidy. I have a Columbia quick dry one so if it gets wet it’s not a big deal.
Tea/Coffee says
French braid!
Spirograph says
+1 to (unfancy) french braid. If I rinse before leaving the pool, I take my hair out and rinse it then. If not, I just leave it in a braid until I shower at home.
Cora says
I’m not in your exact situation often, but what minimizes knots the most for me is a braid. Unbraid and comb it out while wet, wash soon after.
Tall babies/tall toddlers says
We’re upgrading to a convertible car seat for our 8 month old, and I feel like everything that has a high height and weight max also has a bunch of reviews saying that their child’s legs were cramped.
Is this just the reality of having a tall (100th percentile height) kid? My number one concern is her safety, with comfort number two, but I feel like a bad mom purchasing something that it seems like she’ll be sitting in criss cross apple sauce style.
anon says
I think they are all like this at some point? My extremely short (10th percentile) 2 YO definitely can’t completely straighten his legs in his anymore.
Tall babies/tall toddlers says
Thanks.
ElisaR says
yeah it seems uncomfortable to us, but it’s safe and my kids never complained. i don’t think it matters what percentile height the kid is, all kids legs have to bend in that position. it’s ok.
Anon says
+1 I have three tall kids – one vaguely complained and so we flipped him, the other two it never seemed to bother. We made it past 2 for all three. We’re considering flipping my 2.5 year old soon because she’s facing her brother and sister and likes to bug them in the back (and we never drive more than a few blocks with her) – will keep her rear facing for longer rides!
My kids are all 90th percentile to “off the charts” – fun fact, the WHO scale they use is worldwide so American kids tend to register tall. That’s why you know so many people with kids who are in 90th percentile but so few who are 20th. (And there are many healthy shorter kids as well of course! Just pointing this out because until my pediatrician pointed this out to me it hadn’t really sunk in!)
AwayEmily says
That is super interesting, thanks for sharing!
Anon says
Right? I mean just look at this thread and how many are chiming in with kids in the 90-something percentile!
I think my kids will end up being above average in height, but not as tall as their percentile might suggest taken out of the global context.
Anon says
Well I’m one of the people who said I have really tall kids and I’m a 6′ woman so extremely tall by any definition and my kids are on track to be similar. The difference between WHO and US is less than an inch of adult height, so yes it’s a factor if you’re looking at percentiles but it’s not like someone who is taller than average by WHO charts is going to be a shorty in the US.
Anon says
My 99th percentile height kid was rear facing past 3 and never complained.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s uncomfortable for kids…mine were more comfortable with their legs scrunched rear-facing than with their legs dangling forward-facing. Kids are flexible! The Graco E2F has a high limit and a leg extension panel, so that may work
Aunt Jamesina says
Kids are so flexible! My MIL was worried about my nieces being uncomfortable while rear-facing until my SIL pointed out all of the weird positions they choose to sit and sleep in.
Seafinch says
Agreed. My kids are all 97th percentile and vastly prefer the support of the rear facing versus the dangling of forward facing which they really complained about on long rides.
Pogo says
We eventually turned my almost 4yo around and he still sits criss cross.
Spirograph says
+1 My kids are all tall and none ever complained about his/her legs being scrunched. They still usually sit in chairs either criss-cross or with their knees tucked (as do I, now that no one can see below my chest on zoom videos).
Anonymous says
I suggest the GracoExtend2Fit. We’ve been very happy with it. It has a piece you can slide out to give a little more leg room, but they are very flexible and what’s uncomfortable for us is fine for them.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Y’all I am drawing a BLANK on introducing solids to DS #2. He turned 6 months on Saturday, and so far has had baby oatmeal and sweet potato puree. I know it’s a new food every 3 days for a while, but when are these given? 3 meals a day? Also, when the he** do they start eating more of what we eat? I am agnostic between purees and BLW (did a combo for DS #1). My babies are totally shrimpy until solids, and then they fill out and become even cuter, so this was a really fun time with DS #1 but I just…can’t seem to remember what I did last time.
Seeing our very young, smart, by-the-book ped today for the 6-month check-up but wanted to get some suggestions from those in the field. TIA!
Anonanonanon says
This is not helpful, but I truly don’t remember either. I remember really stressing about it for both kids; mine are 8 years apart and the recommendations for introducing solids changed drastically between the two, which helped me realize it’s really not that huge of a deal, we’re all just guessing.
As far as when they’re given, I think that largely depends on your family’s routine. Is baby in daycare? If so, what do they suggest in terms of feeding solids during the day?
Anon says
So I only have one baby and she’s 8 months old, so take this with all appropriate grains of salt.
We started at 5 months with 1 meal/day. Did that for about a week or two and then upped it to 2 meals/day. Around 6.5 months she got 3 meals/day.
Breakfast is baby oatmeal, yogurt, fruit puree/smashed.
Lunch is some sort of protein, some sort of veggies, and typically avocado.
Dinner is some sort of protein (which might be peanutbutter or almondbutter oatmeal), some sort of veggies, small amount of fruit.
So far her fruits are pear, apple, strawberry, blueberry, apricot, banana. Veggies are broccoli, zucchini, green beans, kale, spinach, peas, sweet potato, butternut squash, carrot, beets. Proteins are red lentils, French lentils, chickpeas, salmon, egg, peanutbutter, almondbutter, yogurt. Fats are avocado, peanutbutter, almond butter. Oatmeal and wheat cereal, plus rice puffs. We add spices to various things (cinnamon, cardamom, and curry so far).
Anon says
Also – we’re planning on having more children, so I have a running list of all the foods I’ve introduced (in order) in my phone. That way, for #2 etc., I’m not starting from scratch – I’m literally just going to go through the list in order :)
Pogo says
Hahah I just went through this, could not remember for the life of me what we did the first time. This was what we did:
1) Puffs for breakfast. I don’t have time for an actual breakfast when I’m also b-feeding. Sometimes he’ll get toast or waffle, or if DH seems like he is being lazy and not rushing to work I’ll have him feed yogurt.
2) “Make” baby food 1x week by immersion blending fruit + veg combos like broccoli and banana, or squash and applesauce. Freeze in little containers and send one a day to daycare. I also send teething crackers.
3) Combo of finger foods and pouches for dinner. For finger food, he gets the same dinner as his big bro which is a kid friendly meal like quesadilla + bell pepper + strawberries. At 10 mos he’s pretty effective at actually eating and I’m going to phase out the pouches.
Husband and I eat after they are asleep. I’m thinking soon we’ll transition to sending actual lunch instead of the purees.
Anonymous says
We basically just did purees and soft fruits, sweet potato, avocado, etc. until around 8 months, then introduced slightly more solid things like toast, shredded meat, pasta, etc. We did try to introduce the common allergens by 9 months. Didn’t do three meals per day until maybe 10-11 months? I stopped keeping notes on it around 11 months so I guess we were at full on table food then.
Anonymous says
We started with one puree meal/day at just before 6 months. I forget when we added a second meal – it was lunch at daycare, and by 8-8.5 months, we were doing 3/day. We started doing finger foods and working on teaching LO how to use a spoon sometime around 7.5-8 months, with varying success. At 9 months, we are starting to work in more of what we eat – right now it’s working out to leftovers of the previous night’s dinner because there’s no way our dinner is ready before LO’s bedtime. Either served as finger foods or a chunky puree. The purees/finger foods have all been loosely based on what we’re eating – if I’m chopping something to go in our food, I’ll chop a little extra and then steam it and puree it separately. When I’ve had time, I’ve pureed batches and frozen them in cubes to have on hand for quick meals or to round out whatever else I’m serving. Things like fruit puree cubes can be thawed and stirred into oatmeal and yogurt.
Mary Moo Cow says
The Make Ahead Baby Food Cookbook has at least one month of full day menus- so helpful for decision fatigue! I used it even when I didn’t make my own baby food because so much of it was readily available jar food, like prunes and green beans. I checked the book out of the library then ended up buy a used copy and ripping the menus out to post on the fridge.
Mary Moo Cow says
Actually, it is “the amazing make ahead baby food cookbook;” there appear to be a few with similar names. And it has 3 months of menus and ideas for finger foods.
Anonymous says
We started with one meal a day and worked up to three over a few months. For us the first meal was dinner because that worked with our schedule. Also, we never waited any time between introducing new foods and our dr was fine with that- we just tried to do new foods at home before daycare (for the first; second kid had daycare-provided purées and we just had them offer whatever). I batch blended and froze in ice cube trays whatever fruits/veg we had and only had to do that a few times per child. Otherwise would just blend whatever was part of our dinner that seemed appropriate. One kid liked baby oatmeal and ate it for a year, the other did NOT. But we kept it on hand to adjust textures of purées. Really any soft cooked veggie works at least to try – one of my kids was a huge fan of puréed broccoli and eggplant (and the other would eat zero green veg purées and got a lot more yogurt, banana , sweet potato and carrot). Applesauce is always easy. We did a lot of yogurt mixed with peanut butter as well.
AwayEmily says
You could also ask your pediatrician about the “new food only every 3 days” thing. Mine said that since there were no food allergies on either side of the family, it was fine to just feed them whatever, whenever (with the exception of common allergens like eggs/nut butter, which they said to space out and watch more carefully).
Anonymous says
+1. Mine wasn’t concerned so much about allergies. My kid has reflux, and introducing foods one at a time would help us figure out what foods were triggers.
Daycare solid foods for baby says
I am struggling with what foods to send my 11 month old to daycare. Any ideas? Has to be palatable cold and also obviously not a choking hazard for a baby. He’s pretty much over purées at this point. Any ideas or resources would be appreciated as I am really struggling!
Jeffiner says
My baby loved diced pieces of pickle. In fact she wouldn’t eat most of her other food unless the pickle juice got on it.
She also loved baby corn and hard boiled egg, but check if there are egg allergies in the school before that.
NYC Girl says
I have a 10 month old (who is very large – 28lbs and 32 inches with a big appetite).
I send 2 bottles and 3 meals (1 lunch, 2 snacks). Lunch is usually leftovers from dinner: diced meat/tofu/fish or beans, diced veggies, small pieces pasta or potato). If no leftovers, I send him with plain yogurt/cottage cheese and mixed in fruit. For snacks I try to ensure there’s a protein and/or fat + carb. Snacks are usually: berries/peach/pear/apple sauce, o’s cereal, homemade waffles, muffins or pancakes diced (I include healthy things like lentils, spinach, sweet potato in the batter then batch cook enough for week/freeze extra), cubed cheese, avocado, boiled eggs.
For breakfast (at home) he usually eats fruit (berries, banana), toast or waffle with nut butter OR pancakes, hard-boiled egg and avocado.
Today he had:
Snack: diced chicken and blueberries
Lunch: yogurt with pears
Snack: pancakes and cheese
Anonymous says
Peas and carrots from frozen; beans (halved if large but there are small black beans and small white beans) and diced cheese; cut up toast or tiny squares of peanut butter or sun butter sandwich on toasted bread. Diced fruit if any kind or diced leftover veggies. Sweet potato.
anon. says
A very easy solution is a kodiak waffle cut into pieces. My (now older) kid loved these as a baby and still does.
anonymous says
My three-yr-old is really focused on whether not I am “happy.” She is really sensitive to my emotions — although I feel like I behave “normally,” I’m generally pretty balanced, I don’t yell, etc., I am concerned that I am somehow damaging her and giving her the idea that my happiness is dependent on her behavior. She is three — I would characterize my moods as occasionally “slightly exasperated” or “a little impatient” — like when she does normal toddler things like dump a bowl of crackers on the floor or, this morning, she was dawdling and refusing to put on her shoes, and I told her “I’m feeling a little impatient — can you please put on your shoes so we can go to school?” Then she says “Mom, are you happy? Why aren’t you happy? Are you happy now?” etc. I keep telling her that I love her, that even though I sometimes feel frustrated or impatient, I’m still happy and love being her mom, etc. I try to always recognize good behavior. But I feel like her concern/sensitivity about whether I am happy might be unusual, or a sign that I need to do something differently. I am an older first-time mother, so any advice would be appreciated!
AwayEmily says
Your 3yo sounds a bit like my 5yo: very emotionally perceptive/sensitive. One thing we do is talk about it a lot — I tell her that being able to sense others’ emotions is a kind of superpower, and tell her about all the ways that it can be awesome. I also reinforce that it it is never her job to manage other people’s feelings, and that their feelings are their own and not her “fault.” And I try to never, ever gaslight her by telling her I’m feeling happy when I’m not (or telling her I’m not mad when I clearly am). You might want to check out the “highly sensitive child” book — my kid doesn’t fit all the boxes but some of the advice in there was quite helpful.
Anonymous says
It’s also probably about her learning to read other people’s emotions. In the preschool years they start to learn that other people have feelings too which is something they don’t really understand in the 0-2 age range. I don’t think it’s necessary to add in your feelings unless she asks. Like “please put on your shoes so we are not late for school” vs adding in how you are feeling about it. If she asks “put on your shoes and we can talk about it on the way to school”
We do best thing/hardest thing every night at dinner. Gives the kids a chance to see the good and bad in each day and a chance for us to share what’s going on in our world. So my best thing might be ‘it was a sunny day and I love sunny days’. And my worst thing might be ‘my afternoon meeting went too long and I missed my coffee break and felt grumpy about that’.
Anonanonanon says
Agree with all of this. I wouldn’t add feelings unless she asks. My kid went through this phase and it worried me but it eventually passed. During that time, if she’d ask, I’d say “Well mommy is feeling a little frustrated right now, but mommy loves you all of the time, no matter what feelings she has!” and leave it at that.
Family Is Fun says
Y’all, help me with covid risk analysis here. I know this is hugely personal, just looking for opinions. Here’s the situation:
We’re currently scheduled to drive to visit my BIL’s family + parents in law for a week next month. We haven’t seen them in about 3 years. My kids have no high risk factors, but are under 12 and therefore unvaccinated. (DH and I are fully vaxxed, I’m not worried about us.)
In-laws are anti-vaxxers and live in a Red State in the bottom of the covid vaccination rates and still having 100+ new cases/day. I assume their social circle is primarily like-minded unvaccinated folks. We’re not staying with them, but realistically we can’t go and not spend time indoors them without making a bunch of family drama that would not be worth it. We have a neutral excuse to postpone the trip without making it about masks or vaccines, and DH is happy to use it if I’m uncomfortable.
I doubt there will be a significant surge in cases because summer + vaccines. My kids are objectively low risk. I’m pretty unconcerned at home, but our local vax rate is very high and daily new cases have been low single digits for weeks. Red State feels like a different situation to me, but I might be making a mountain out of a molehill. WWYD?
Anonymous says
100+ new cases in their county, which is a relative bright spot compared to the rest of their state.
Anonymous says
I would ask that everyone get tested before the visit (you and your kids as well, for solidarity), and also do as much socializing outside as possible. If DH’s family all gets PCR tests a few days before your arrival, and agrees to behave conservatively while waiting for the results and while you’re there, I think I would feel comfortable enough to go.
Anon. says
This is where I fall. And because I am somewhat nonconfrontational, I would blame my testing requirements on childcare. “I’m not that worried about the kids getting super sick, but if they get COVID or are exposed they won’t be able to go to camp/daycare for two weeks and that’s a logistics nightmare I won’t sign up for.”
Side note, I’d also review transmission in their county historically. My parents live in a rural part of a red state and I actually feel weirdly “safe” there because literally all of their friends have had it before.
Anonymous says
Doesn’t look like natural immunity means much w/delta variant. fyi
CCLA says
I wouldn’t see them indoors. We’re in a blue state in a high vax rate area, and we’re still not having our (too young to be vaxxed) kids spend any meaningful amount of time with any unvaxxed adults indoors. As you note, very personal decision. Our reasoning is that we’ve made it this long and we think it’s likely they’ll be vaxxed by end of year, so feels like the end is in sight and don’t want to make big changes to what the risk tolerance that’s worked for us thus far. Also some concern from the delta variant.
Anon says
I wouldn’t go. Your kids will likely be vaxxed by this fall/winter and can see unvaccinated adults then. Right now it’s not a risk worth taking, IMO. I’m less bothered by their anti-vax social circle than by the fact that they themselves are unvaccinated.we are also in a red anti-vax state and only socialize right fully vaccinated adults and their young children.
PS: if the state is Missouri, the surge is driven by Delta (Indian variant) so I’d be extra cautious.
Anon says
I also wouldn’t go. It’s likely enough that kids under 12 will have a vaccine available to them relatively soon, that it’s worth it to wait.
Even if your kids are low risk for complications, a Covid diagnosis would throw wrench in not only your childcare plans, but also that of their cohorts (if one kid in my kid’s daycare class tests positive for Covid, the whole cohort to stay home for 10 days).
I wouldn’t trust anti-vaxxers to not get Covid after testing or even to forgo the visit if they had mild Covid symptoms (“it’s just a cold!”) or a known exposure.
NYCer says
I would feel fine seeing them. But we saw my family throughout the entire last year (they were obviously unvaccinated until earlier this year, now they are vaccinated), so YMMV. If you are worried, I think the suggestion of having everyone get tests prior to the visit is good.
Anonymous says
I would absolutely not go and tell them why. “My kids can’t be vaccinated. The fact that you can and refuse to is disturbing and selfish and we will not be seeing you.”
Anonymous says
Thanks, but I will not be doing this. It will not change their minds, it will just start a fight. This is my husband’s family, who he loves and wants to remain in contact with, and they are important people in our lives. We disagree with BIL’s family’s views on vaccination (they are anti-vax in general, not just for covid) but do not see this is a reason to keep our kids from knowing their only cousins.
I appreciate everyone’s input so far. I hadn’t considered requesting that everyone be tested; I’ll have to talk with DH about whether that’s a possible middle ground or if it’s likely to blow things up.
Anon says
It sounds like you’re visiting my family. If you are, don’t ask to test because they will laugh in your face and not do it. You also can’t blame daycare because they think women should stay home and watch the kids. If you ask for outdoors or other precautions, they’ll likely “forget” or make only a half-hearted attempt to follow them. Honestly there’s just not a way to see them safely, unless you know that everyone you would see has already had it. This is the reason I haven’t been back home in two years. I’d postpone your trip until your family is vaccinated.
anon says
Another class gift question: our kids (8 and 10) go to private school. Their mom has proposed splitting the cost of end of year teacher gifts, so there’s one gift from our collective family. In general, we have been trying to present more of a united front at their school, so I like the idea…but she’s proposing more than $1000 worth of gifts total(for two teachers and a coach). Maybe I’m out of step with private school norms but $300-400 gifts seems, honestly, pretty over the top to me. I checked and the school doesn’t have a policy on teacher gifts, and I don’t have anyone IRL I can ask.
She gave their teachers gift baskets at the beginning of the year (she said she thought it would help build positive relationships for our kids), and those were $150 each, which already seemed like a lot but at least when split that was a little more palatable than $500+. Last year we did separate end of year gifts – we had our kids make cards for their teachers and we got them Target gift cards for $50. Now I’m torn between worrying that we were the cheapskate family last year and feeling like surely what she’s proposing isn’t normal. Any thoughts? We’re in Atlanta.
Anon says
My kids aren’t in private school but this sounds absolutely bananas. I do $50 for main teacher, $15-25 for bus driver and specials.
Anon says
Former private/independent boarding school teacher here, first north of Chicago, then near Detroit. High school keep that in mind. I would not expect anything more than $100, if I received a gift at all. Truthfully, I received maybe 30 gifts in my ten years of teaching. One was a very nice Hermes scarf. Most were Amex Gift Cards around $50.
Culture may be different where you are and in lower grades, but this is way over-the-top IMO.
OP says
Thanks – I actually went to private school myself (but a less fancy one, I guess?) and I couldn’t remember my parents even really giving gifts to my teachers. My mom taught in Title 1 public schools my whole life, and she always had me make a card or craft for my elementary school teachers at the end of the year (which was where I got the idea for our kids to make cards last year), but I don’t remember actual gifts.
Anon says
This may be a thing, but it’s absurd and sends a very weird message to your children, especially the beginning of year gift that is clearly a bribe and could not be matched by any kids that happen to be in that school and aren’t super wealthy. Talk to the kids about gratitude and have them write a picture or do a note and add to a modest gift card or donation to a PTA at a not wealthy school.
OP says
Thanks – you explained why the beginning of the year gift felt off to me. I also think I would be uncomfortable as the teacher in that situation (my mom was a teacher and I know she would have). I was honestly surprised that a school with this kind of wealthy parent population didn’t have a gifts policy, given that they have policies on everything else under the sun, but they don’t.
Anon says
Former teacher here – receiving that big of a gift would make me feel uncomfortable. I worked in a public school, but in a very nice district and a $25 gift card seemed very generous to me since the students had multiple teachers.
anon says
I went to private school in the as a kid. My husband attended a Country Day type school. Our kid has attended a Country Day type school and a Catholic school. Gifts of this size were definitely not a thing when we were growing up and are definitely not a thing in our area–all in the SEUS, though not Atlanta.
My son’s first school had my favorite system–a physical envelope in the office where you could deposit cash anonymously (or not) for your kid’s teachers, the specials, and the office staff. The envelope was then presented as a group gift.
At our son’s current school, we give nothing at the beginning of the year, and gave Target gift cards of $25 to teachers and $15 to specials for Christmas and something similar for Teacher Appreciation week. We didn’t do anything for the end of the year because it was like a week after Teacher Appreciation week. We also gave a donation to the school itself during its annual fundraising, though not as much as $1000. If I were going to drop an extra grand on my kid’s education, it would be for the benefit of the overall school (or, if the school had everything, a less wealthy school), not a gift to an individual teacher that was probably several percentages of their salary (and honesty, 1% of mine).
Anonymous says
My kids (K and 2) went to private school this year and their classes did pooled teacher gifts. It was a “give what you can” model soliciting contributions with a suggested contribution around $25, but the two teachers per classroom ended up with probably $500 worth of gifts, each *from the class.* Totally inappropriate for one or two families alone to give at that level, in my opinion.
Anon says
+1 this strikes me as wildly inappropriate also. My SIL went to a very snooty NYC private all-girls school (the one that inspired Gossip Girl) and this level of gifting was unheard of even there. This was almost 10 years ago now, but still.
Anonymous says
I got a pair of Birkenstock-style sandals (two thick straps across the top of the foot), and they are pinching my foot between the two straps when I walk! Will this go away with breaking them in, or is it just what happens with these?
Paging Willow pump commenter says
To the poster who asked about the Willow breast pump yesterday. I have one and love it. Once you get the hang of it (they call it “train your body”) it works so well. I am not bothered by the noise but the few times I’ve worn it out I am a bit conscious of it bc they make my boobs look comically large. There is a very very helpful FB group (unofficial Willow pump support group) that helped me get the right flange size (spoiler alert: not what you use with the spectra). I am also generally very enviroconscious but bought about 300 plastic disposable breastmilk bags for it and have ZERO regrets. It also never leaks, which is why I chose it over the Elvie. I use the spectra S2 pump with it also.