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I recently read a magazine article about what a particular makeup artist always keeps in her kit, and while the name of the magazine and of the makeup artist escape me, I did immediately put her pick on my beauty product wishlist. This moisturizer from Embryolisse is for combination/oily skin, which I feel like I don’t see very often. Side note: It always seems like interviewees are lamenting their horribly parched skin. Where my oily skin peeps at? Anyway, since I have and always have had oily/combination skin, I would love to try this, which advertises matte skin and absorbing excess oil under makeup. It’s available at dermstore.com for $40. Emulsion Hydra-Mat This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.28.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Leatty says
Birthday present ideas for an almost 2 year old? My daughter is going to a birthday party for a girl in her daycare, and I have no idea what to get her. She and my daughter are apparently good friends at daycare, but I know nothing about her, and I’ve never met her parents. Maybe a board book?
Mama Llama says
A book is always a solid choice, especially one that your daughter likes. For that age I also like a small set of Duplos.
AwayEmily says
A book is always a great option! Another nice thing is that if they already have that book, it’s easy for them to regift it down the road.
Anonymous says
I’m Team book. Always books.
FVNC says
My two-year old just had a birthday party with other kids from his daycare class. Favorite gift was a “no mess” bubble thingy, and of course, board books are always a great idea.
Anonymous says
Book or consumables like sidewalk chalk, crayons, craft paper, playdoh
EB0220 says
I’m a fan of books and/or art supplies!
lawsuited says
Sticker books. Bubble bath.
CPA Lady says
For a 2 year old, I second stickers or books.
For older pre-schoolers, I try to get clues about what the kid likes based on the invitation. The last b-day party my kid went to had a dino themed invitation, so the kid got a dino figurine play set. The one with the fire truck invite got a fireman lego set. I felt like a total genius when I figured that out, so I thought I’d share. You could also do a book themed on the invitation.
Leatty says
That’s a great idea, thanks!
FP says
Since it’s the summer, you could also do a $10 gift card to a local ice cream store if you don’t want to add to the mountain of things people receive for a birthday.
Anonymous says
Also on the summer theme (but still stuff), I think a nice sturdy ball for outdoors is always a good choice. And even if they already have one, it is definitely something you can have more than one of. At 2, kiddo will probably like kicking it around this summer.
lsw says
I’ll add that I particularly like to give books that you might not buy yourself (Matthew Van Fleet comes to mind…his new one, Chomp Chomp Goes the Alligator, is my son’s current favorite!).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Nap question – we have a friends having a birthday party for their 3 year old this upcoming weekend. The party is from 12:30-2:30 PM, which is pretty much exactly when DS naps on the weekends, sometimes even a full 3-hour block. Dude loves his sleep — a few weekends ago, during naptime, he couldn’t get back down after falling asleep in the car, and was a hot mess by 5 PM.
How to manage this?
Thinking maybe just going at the beginning for an hour and leaving, but happy to hear any ideas. Without going into detail, these friends can be challenging/stressful to hang out with so we don’t see them outside of these larger social settings a few times a year, so not going isn’t really an option. Plus it’s at a venue where I think DS will have fun.
Anonymous says
Not going is an option, especially if you don’t even like these people. Going and leaving after an hour, at a venue, before cake, isn’t great. You should have declined when you got the invite.
Anonymous says
+1. This is a very standard nap time and you had a great excuse for why you couldn’t go. Going for an hour and leaving before cake is kind of weird to me.
OP says
Wow — clearly had no idea staying for cake was a thing – very used to the “come and go as you please” vibe of a lot of casual adult-centric get togethers (we even did this for DS 1st bday).
Don’t get many invites to kiddo bday parties at this point so good to know.
Anonymous says
I would do it, but mention in your RSVP that you have to leave early/ask if that is okay. “We’d love to come but have another obligation and will need to leave at X:00. Is that okay?” I’m sure they’ll say yes, and then it isn’t awkward.
Anon says
I think a party at a venue like a museum or arcade is much less drop-in and out than a party at someone’s home or a bar. As someone noted below, they probably pay per attendee and it’s kind of rude to make them pay for you and then only be there for such a short time.
Batgirl says
I think it’s totally fine to go for an hour and leave. Anyone with kids gets that. And if they don’t, who cares? That’s on them.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We declined an invitation for a bday party that was going from 12:30-2 for this exact reason. DS1’s nap usually starts at around 1/1:30 and we all need that time to recharge. This is for a preschool friend who’s turning 4 (and whose daughter’s doesn’t nap anymore FWIW) so I hope they understand. I feel kind of bad but not bad enough to skip the nap and have a really cranky toddler the rest of the night.
GCA says
Your options:
1. Decline, and not go. DS will not notice, unless birthday kid is from his daycare and his entire class is going. Risk: the other family takes offence.
2. Go but leave early. Best case scenario: you make it home in one piece, DS takes real nap. Risk: you get a tired meltdown at the venue anyway, then a broken car nap on the way home, and then bedtime is still a horror show.
3. Go and stay the full time. Best case scenario: DS will bounce around, fueled by cake and fun, and stay awake the whole time. Risk: Bad car nap on the way home, or no nap and overtired child, but at least bedtime will be early.
This actually happened to us last year (what lunatic plans a 3yo birthday party at noon?), except these were friends we really wanted to see (former daycare friend who moved across the city). I assumed there were some sort of family constraints that required them to have the party at that particular time slot; the birthday kid didn’t nap any more so it wasn’t an issue for them. As my kid approached age 3, the nap seemed to matter less and less, so we went with the third option and bedtime was a trainwreck, but at least it was early.
ElisaR says
the problem for me when we have this problem is that if we leave early then baby falls asleep in the car and doesn’t transfer down for a nap so its a disaster.
I would skip the party. Just not worth it. I have skipped parties in this time block for this very reason.
ElisaR says
also I worded that weirdly. “the problem … this problem.” ugh. monday.
Anon says
Our kids were very consistent nappers from about 12:30-3ish for years who also LOVE their sleep, and we honestly prioritized that over *almost* everything, including turning down parties and such. It just felt like if we went down the path of making exceptions for things, there would almost always be something that would come up to make an exception for, so it was just easier to say no across the board. Not saying this is the choice you have to make, but more to let you know if you do you are not alone in prioritizing this.
Right or wrong, I do feel like it’s slightly awkward to leave before cupcakes have been brought out. Especially once your kid gets to an age where they know that’s coming with a birthday party. Also, if it is a venue where the hosts are paying per kid, going for just an hour is kind of awkward too, depending on cost (i.e. probably just better to decline in that case).
Anonymous says
If you go, and it’s at a “place” ie party place, go for the first hour, then leave. The first part is always the fun part and the last hour is cake and pizza.
If it’s at their house, I’d perhaps go the other way- wake DS early and go at 2.
PS rookie move on the parents part. They’ll have a ton of cranky kids (whether or not they still nap, all +/- 3 year olds need to Chill Out from 1-3!)
OP says
HA! I thought the same thing (Re: Rookie Move) and then realized when DS turned 1, I planned the party according to his nap schedule – he was on two naps at the time, so the 12-2 window was the sweet spot for us at that time, so can’t throw too much shade at them. When it’s your party, you throw it when works for you, but you can’t get mad if it doesn’t work for others.
That being said, it’s on a Sunday afternoon (vs. Sun morning or Saturday anytime). That I will throw shade at!
Anonymous says
Huh? Why. There’s nothing wrong at all with any of their plans. You clearly don’t like them, just rsvp no.
HSAL says
Yeah, it seems like you’re looking for a reason to skip. You can totally politely skip! Nap schedules are no joke. But I don’t see any type of problem with Sunday afternoon. How is that worse than Sunday morning? I figure that’s the hardest time in case your guests go to church.
OP says
FWIW, didn’t say anything was wrong – was just saying I realized I made the same “rookie move” with time when planning a party, as that time worked for us then.
Anon says
What’s wrong with Sunday afternoon? That’s much more common than Sunday morning in my area because of church.
Anonymous says
Some places that do parties like this have a short window of times they do birthday parties. And I think early afternoon is a pretty commonly that window. We have a napper, and so far have skipped them.
Anonymous says
I found out today that my husband has been having an affair, for the last few months. Does anyone have experience recovering from this? He’s incredibly sorry and wants to end it and try to save the marriage. In my mind the marriage is done but I would like to give us at least one chance to work on the issues that led to the affair and recovering from the cheating itself.
Anonymous says
No advice but I’m so so sorry.
So Anon says
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve and feel all the feelings; they are all valid and real.
If you would like to attempt to salvage your relationship, I would find a couples’ counselor who can work with both of you on tackling this. Either way, if you don’t already, I would find a therapist for yourself. Whether you stay together or decide to leave, having a therapist that is all about you is a good idea. Check out the blog chump lady. Great resources, but skews to leaving. For me, cheating was but one part that led to me walking away from my marriage. I think there are people who heal through the aftermath of an affair, but I was not one of them.
Mama Llama says
+1 to a therapist just for you. You have a lot to process here, and a neutral third party whose only interest is in helping you is essential.
Anonymous says
+1 to therapy for you. It will help you process this new information and consider your options in a neutral environment. Couples sessions are not neutral environments because your husband, his feelings, his reasons, his wants, his hopes, his fears are all in the room too.
Anonymous says
He wants to end it? Not, he already ended it? Oh no no no. He’s trying to keep his options open. Decide nothing right now. Agree to nothing. Forgive nothing. Do not waste any time thinking about recovering until you’ve given yourself time to process.
Anon says
Yeah that stood out to me too. “I want to end it” is very wishy washy for someone who professes to want to save the marriage. If saving the marriage was his first priority, he would have already ended it.
anne-on says
How did you find out? Him confessing, apologizing, and offering to do whatever you need from him, is to me, SO different from being caught out in a lie and then saying he feels awful and ‘wants to end it’ (but hasn’t yet). I’d focus on YOU. What do you want? Him to move out while you process? Time along to grieve and rage? Be clear on what your desired outcome is, not what your spouse wants (after he was caught…).
OP says
I found out but I told him he needed to end it and he did right then and there.
anonforthis says
Ok, so he wants to save the marriage? Great. He can arrange for couples counseling, at a time that is convenient for you. If he’s got the time to be having an affair, he has the time to figure that out.
Let him do the work, don’t sink more energy and time into cleaning up his mess.
So Anon says
Agreed. Love is an action, which means to look past his words, his apologies, his promises for change and see what he actually does. How does he show up in this process; it should be upon him to take the laboring oar to clean up his mess.
westernisland says
I am so very sorry this happened to you. You also should consult with a divorce lawyer. Even if you think you all may/you want to work it out. Since you are posting on a mom’s board, I assume you have children. There are things you need to know before you (or he) leaves, in the event that you all cannot work through this. I strongly recommend you have a consultation before you agree to anything with him. A few hundred dollars up front could be invaluable down the road.
anon says
+1,000,000 You need to understand your rights and the landscape of what divorce looks like in your state even if you never act on it. I think the divorce attorney and a therapist for you are the two things that must be on your to-do list today. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
Lyssa says
I’m going to visit a relative who has a 4 year old boy and a new baby. I wanted to bring a “big brother” present for the boy – any suggestions? I’ll be bringing my daughter, who’s a few months younger than him, so I was thinking play dough since it’s something I know she likes and they might be able to play with together. My experiences with this kid thus far are that he can be sort of prickly and aggressive, but, to be fair, we’ve never really visited him on his home turf, and I’m hoping that he and my daughter can play together some.
Mama Llama says
If you mean aggressive in a physical way, maybe stomp rockets?
rosie says
This is a great idea, these were a hit with similar ages over the weekend for us. Will you be able to supervise some outdoor play time for the 4-yo & your daughter?
ElisaR says
i love the books that are about being a big brother….. there’s many to choose from.
rakma says
So I’d probably separate out the ‘big brother gift’ and the joint activity. The kid’s just started sharing everything with a sibling, having to share a new toy with a friend might be too much for a 4yo to process.
Magic Ink books have been a big hit with my kids recently, as well as the AquaDoodle mat.
anon. says
Consumables! A playdoh set with tools is great, but I think you can just go spend like $15 on Target for some fun colorful paper (or even two pieces of neon posterboard cut up in pieces, a favorite in our house), glue sticks, feathers, sparkles, markers, etc. I let my kid that age just go for it sometimes and it may make a little mess but it keeps him occupied for a long long time.
Rainbow Hair says
What about coloring books? Kiddo went through a big phase of coloring about a year ago, and now (at 4) she’s back into it. We often do like, Kiddo colors on one page and I color on the facing page.
Anon says
I’m still struggling with what to do with an embryo we have in storage from IVF. Our son is 2.5 years old. I am 90% sure that our family is complete I feel like my time with him is already so limited, etc. I feel like there has been a lot of baby news lately that sometimes makes me jealous – trying to sort these feelings out. Anyone have any advice?
Anon says
Continue paying the storage fees until you feel more ready to say goodbye.
rosie says
I tend to agree with this. Just give yourself permission to spend the money until you are ready to decide. I don’t have any frozens, but having been through IVF for #1, I do find it really hard to separate out feelings of jealousy from feelings of actually wanting to try for another.
anon says
This. I don’t have embryos but I was really torn about whether to have a second child when my son was that age. I voiced it to a friend and she gently told me that it sounded like I wasn’t ready to make a decision yet. So I gave myself permission to not think about it for 6 months. Turns out we decided our family is complete, but it was a relief to give myself that time to not worry about it and focus on my son.
Anonymous says
We’re in the same boat. Our first embryo turned into delightful 2.5 year-old twins and we have two more embryos in storage. We do talk about how it’s sad we don’t get to experience any of the baby/toddler firsts anymore and kind of want a third for those reasons (and many of our friends with same-aged kids are announcing pregnancies), but also are pretty sure we couldn’t both work full-time and be good parents to three kids, since we’re stretched pretty thin as-is with just two of them. (And all sorts of other logistics, like traveling as a family of 4 is already expensive, we have 2 great kids so why mess with a good thing, because they’re twins they have the same attention spans which is great for family outings, etc.)
So no real advice, but for the time being we’re also just paying storage fees until we’re a) sure we’re not having another bio kid (we have fostering notions for once the twins are older) and b) decide what to do with the embryos if we’re not using the ourselves.
Anonymous says
Has anyone adopted from foster care across state lines? Just looking to hear experiences.
Anonymous says
Serious question: is this actually doable? I know that you can live in Maryland and take in kids from the DC foster system, but I thought that most actual states are really strict about keeping kids inside state boundaries (such that you need permission to bring a foster kid to another state for more than a few hours).
Anonymous says
OP here. Yes, it’s doable, but exactly how doable is what I’m not sure of.
Legally, there’s the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) that provides for interstate adoption.
Anecdotally, I knew someone from Mississippi who adopted a boy from Missouri about 6 years ago, so I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
But yeah, how doable is what I’m trying to figure out.
Anonymous says
To adopt a specific child for a real reason- yes, it will be hard but likely possible, and you’ll need a great lawyer.
westernisland says
I briefly practiced child welfare law and the only circumstance I think you would be able to do this through the foster care system would be if you were a relative of the child, or if it were a much older child (teen or preteen) who would otherwise remain in foster care until he aged out. And even then highly unlikely. You could adopt a child from out of state through a private adoption agency. If you are looking to adopt through the foster care system, why not consider doing so within your state? Your best chances would still be a child located in your county or neighboring county, but generally a lot higher chance of success. Thank you for considering a child in foster care as you consider adoption – a lot of folks do not realize this is a very viable option for becoming a parent (and at considerably less expense than traditional adoption avenues).
AnotherAnon says
Short answer: no but we’re looking into it (dfps is no longer placing foster kids in non-kinship homes in our area). ICPC is confusing, and I have navigated adopting out of the foster care system so I’m used to red tape. Have you joined any foster mom groups, physical or on FB? They have been helpful for me in hearing different experiences and providing some guidance or at least what to expect. I know you need a lawyer, so maybe contact an agency and say you’re interested in interstate adoption and do they have a list of adoption lawyers they recommend. A good lawyer will do a consult with you to go over the process and what’s expected/involved. If you tell me what area you’re in I can post a burner email if we’re in the same region and put you in touch with people who know more than I do.
Anonymous says
What’s your favorite baby luxury? I’m looking to buy my sister/her new baby something h fancy that she wouldn’t buy for herself but will be useful. Up to a thousand dollars.
rosie says
At that price point, post-partum doula.
Anon says
My nursery “rocker” is a leather rocker power recliner armchair that was close to that expensive and I love it. Almost slept in it last night with my 2 year old before caving and bringing her back to our bed. 2 year molars are terrible. If she doesn’t have a bed-side bassinet or nice umbrella stroller (I love my Maclaren), those might be useful too. More on the services side, can you gift a year of peapod or instacart membership? Or a few months of housekeeping services? Or maybe a couple of nights a week of a night nurse to help her get more sleep?
H13 says
A few nights with a night nurse.
Anon says
Honestly, I would put the money towards household help for them: healthy food/grocery delivery, housekeeping, maybe even a night nurse if she wants that. If you want to get something physical, I got a glider/recliner combo that has been awesome to have in the nursery.
lawsuited says
I didn’t spend the money on a Dock-a-Dot for my first because it seemed insane to spend so much on a pillow, but I was gifted one for my second baby and LOVED it. Or rather, my baby loved it, and napped like a little angel in it, which I loved. Or you could make a contribution towards her stroller if she hasn’t already purchased one. I bought a cheaper stroller for my first and upgraded to an Uppababy Vista when I needed a double stroller and the difference in quality and customer service is considerable.
Anon says
I feel like you must be living in an ultra-wealthy bubble if $1000 is just a “contribution towards” a stroller.
lawsuited says
Fair enough. The Uppababy Vista is $1300 before you even buy the second seat, or a rain shield or a cupholder.
anon says
It’s actually “only” $720 to $960 depending on fabric choice. ;)
Anon says
Are you in the US? I think they’re around $700-800 here.
Anonymous says
A thing. I’m buying her a thing that can have a bow put on it.
Anon says
A small thing, but what about an apple watch or a nice pair of stud earrings? My apple watch is great for keeping up with texts and email without having to get up to get my phone wherever I left it last, and I switched exclusively to stud earrings once my LO started grabbing things. I have pretty much worn diamond studs every day for the last 18 months.
lawsuited says
+1 to the Apple watch. I would have found that very useful, and am considering getting one now so that my toddler doesn’t see me picking up my phone 5,000 times per day.
rosie says
Ok, are you going to ask her if she wants said thing first? $1k is a lot to spend on a baby item that may or may not be wanted & will likely have a very short timeframe for which it is used because that’s how a lot of baby stuff is.
Do you know if she already has the stroller she wants? If so, what about getting a nice travel stroller or jogging stroller? I was fine buying the Uppababy Cruz (a little under $500) because I knew we’d use it as our main stroller a lot, but then bought much less expensive ones when we decided to also get a lightweight one & a jogging one.
I also like the idea of jewelry or a wardrobe refresher for her. Get her a bobeau cardigan in a box with a bow & a sizeable gift card from Nordstrom to go with it.
anon says
What about nice, nursing friendly clothing? Shirts, bras, pajamas, something she feels like a million bucks in as her body adjusts, etc.
Anonymous says
Or like $1000 to put towards post-kiddo clothes generally. Kidding, but not.
Anonymous says
This!
Anon says
Maybe this is an obvious implication in the suggestions, but before getting a night nurse I would definitely ask her if she wants that. I know I’m probably weird but I would not have wanted one, and a surprise gift of that would have been unwelcome.
Food delivery on the other hand, like a pre-loaded Instacart gift certificate or something, could almost certainly be used over time & is a bit of a “luxury” that perhaps she would otherwise not do? Maybe not the full $1,000 worth though just in case.
ElisaR says
fancy stroller. she will use it all the time. or a nice glider/chair for the baby’s room. ours was custom fabric and came to about $1700 but I would imagine a non-custom one is much less.
shortperson says
snoo. or a newborn photo session.
H13 says
I thought of a Snoo too. I still fantasize that it would have made my children sleep.
Anonymous says
newborn photo session is a great idea.
anon says
Milo glider from Crate & Kids (formerly Land of Nod). Best $$ I spent. I got a rocking ottoman from Babyletto though. It matches nearly perfectly. I was annoyed by how much extra the gliding ottoman was! Or Uppababy Vista. Also worth the money in my opinion.
Anonymous says
YES!! I wish I had gotten a fancy glider. Mine was a decent one (I think Best Chair brand?) that we bought secondhand from Craig’s List. It had been through 3 of their kids, and now it’s been through 3 of mine…so it’s going on 17 years old and still in good condition, but it’s definitely not my style to put in any room but a kids’ room. But I’m addicted to the gentle gliding motion and am not eager to get rid of it…I would have loved to have been gifted a super fancy Milo glider (in leather!!).
TO be fair, with my first pregnancy, I would have way rolled my eyes at the extravagance, but hindsight…I wish I had a generous and thoughtful sister!
Anonymous says
I know you’re looking for a tangible gift but…as a mother there are so many things I would appreciate for $1000 that aren’t a THING. 2 nights at a nice hotel and dinner for a baby moon with my DH. Monthly prenatal massages! Doula! Night nurse! House cleaning for the first 3 months! A weekend away with my sister at a resort with spa treatments.
I do understand some people just love giving gifts but I’d reconsider if an experience may not be valuable to your sister. Maybe coordinate with her partner to see which one she would appreciate most.
Anonymous says
Nope! Thanks though.
NYCer says
A few thoughts… Could combine more than one in order to get to $1000
Snoo
Uppababy stroller (I have the Cruz, Vista is arguably more popular)
Babyzen yoyo travel stroller
Dock a tot
Baby Bjorn bouncer seat
Lovevery Baby toy subscription and/or play mat
Keekaro peanut changing pad
Infant car seat
NYCer says
I realize some of these (car seat in particular) wouldn’t be classified as a “luxury” items! But these are generally just bigger ticket items that I think your sister would appreciate.
Walnut says
How about buying the nursery furniture? You could buy a lovely crib that will convert to the toddler and full size bed. Possibly a dresser, changing table, bookshelf as well.
If not that, I vote for an awesome stroller that could convert to a double down the road.
rosie says
Please don’t get a stroller that can convert to a double unless you know that’s what she wants. That’s super loaded for someone who may have struggled with building their family or may not be sure about a second. (Walnut, I am sure you weren’t suggesting it’d be a good universal gift, but I wanted to make it clear for the OP.)
Anonymous says
Oh my god would you chill? I just wanted some gift ideas. This isn’t a crisis.
shortperson says
i thought this was nice.
NYCer says
While I get where you’re coming from, I don’t think buying an Uppababy Vista stroller would cause a problem. Plenty of people in my circle use that stroller for just one kid. It’s not like you’re buying a true double stroller for one kid.
Walnut says
I have a baby jogger stroller that works just as well as a single as it does a double stroller and I imagine there are plenty others in the same vein. If I were spending $1k on someone, I’d like the gift to be useful for as long as possible.
I’m on my third stroller after my family grew and wish I had bought one than could expand from the start.
NYCer says
Chiming in again to say that I think buying the nursery furniture is a great idea too!
AIMS says
Do you guys do learning apps like ABC Mouse etc? Our 3 year old is (somehow) unaware of the iPad so I’m reluctant to introduce it (she watches more than enough TV so I feel like we are at screen time capacity) but wondering if it’s actually beneficial.
Mama Llama says
We do the web-based Sesame Street games sometimes (in lieu of TV time). I don’t really think there’s much learning benefit other than learning to use the mouse and track pad on the computer. We just do it to keep her occupied for a bit.
Anonymous says
No I don’t think they’re beneficial. I think they’re fine, and I don’t judge some screen time at all, but if your only reason to introduce them is seeking some benefit I’d skip
ElisaR says
+1
anon says
Another +1. Also not at all judgey about screen time, but if your goal is education I’d choose physical objects over screens–unless there’s some other convenience factor you didn’t mention.
Anonymous says
My take is that if you are doing screen time anyway, then abc mouse is “better” than paw patrol. no hate for PP though- better just means kid might learn something.
If your question is “is my kid missing out because we don’t do abc mouse?” Absolutely not.
FWIW we are a screen friendly house. We do tv in ample quantities but my kids don’t have their own devices or really much access to any of ours. I view TV (like paw patrol!) as entertainment and we use it accordingly.
Pogo says
Total threadjack, but when you guys say “screen time” do you mean iPad/iPhone/other tablet-type device *only* or do you include TV? A friend posted something about giving her kids only two hours of “screen time” a week and I was pretty amazed (so, they do one family movie night a week and that’s it?) – but she meant that they only got 2 hours a week on the iPad, TV wasn’t counted, and time the middle-schooler spends on homework on a tablet or computer doesn’t count.
It got me wondering how others define “screen time” – anything on a screen, or *only* tablet-like devices?
Mama Llama says
I thought the point of saying “screentime” rather than “tv” or whatever is that it’s inclusive of everything with a screen.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I definitely consider TV screen time. I can see how you wouldn’t count it when the kids are doing homework or some other school task as that’s more of a beneficial (and often necessary, depending on the school) use of screen time. Also no judgment here at all about screen time – our toddler watches plenty of TV.
Pogo says
Same, no judgement, just curious what others mean when they say “screen time”.
Anonymous says
I think it’s inclusive of everything. I TRY to do 30 minutes a day, some days it’s zero minutes and some days it’s an hour so it averages out.
Anon says
Screentime means all screens, TV/computer/iPad/iPhone. I can see not counting homework done on a computer though.
Anonymous says
Same with Facetime/Skype to relatives. I don’t count that.
AIMS says
For me screen time is all screens, tv included. We do a lot of TV, unfortunately, just because my kids are still mostly home (3 year old is in nursery school two mornings a week, one year old is home full time) and we have family help out a lot and it’s hard to say no TV to someone you’re not paying to be there. But we do almost no other screens, not really for any specific reason other than my kids haven’t figured out that it’s something they can do and I don’t want to encourage it because they’ll discover it soon enough without my help. I am always amazed by people who can limit it to just 30 min a day or an hour a week, but I try to not feel too bad about it.
Appreciate the feedback about ABC Mouse! Was wondering if I am missing out on something but looks like we can just stick to the PBS standards for a while longer.
AwayEmily says
Not an answer but just wanted to say: one of my favorite things about people on here is how whenever we talk about screen time it seems like everyone takes very different approaches to type/how much/etc, yet also everyone is also chill and accepting of what works for other families.
(this is not sarcasm! it legit makes me happy!)
AIMS says
Agree! I got a comment about screen time from someone who doesn’t even have kids the other day so this is definitely one of the few places where I feel like this is even something I can discuss.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The easiest kid to parent is the one that isn’t here yet. I would roll my eyes so hard at a childless person judging screen time.
Anonymous says
Sorta thread jack. My 5 year old would sit on a screen all day and be pretty happy between games and shows. But we found out that she is just as into coloring and have gently started pushing that as a default for boredom vs screen time and its working! We indulge fancy markers and new coloring books, I let her pick a page to print from online, etc. she legit kept herself entertained for over 3 hours with her art supplies this rainy Saturday (previously she’d have watched a movie).
My 3 y/o actually won’t watch tv- she doesn’t have the attention span. Others we’ve met use short videos but I’m hesitant- not because I’m anti screens but because I’m afraid of pushing her into it. But I found out she’s perfectly content to play Barbie/dolls for almost an hour alone. ESter bunny brought a new Barbie and an outfit for her baby doll and she brought up a handful of jelly beans tonher olayroom and disappeared into her own world for an hour.
I’m only posting to say there is hope! Both that kids will have interests outside of screens and also that they get older and less dependent on them. Hang in there!!
lawsuited says
+1 Before I had kids I had all sorts of thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams about zero screen time until age 2, but now I’m just a working mom with 2 kids doing whatever she can to keep her toddler occupied for 3 minutes while she slaps BB cream on her face and puts her blouse on backwards.
So Anon says
I’m having a rough realization of how on my own I am. After STBX (soon-to-be-ex) “overslept” and didn’t pick up the kids last Wednesday, he picked them up on time on Saturday but was 2.5 hours late on Sunday. With the timing of the pick-up on Sunday, I missed my opportunity to go to church on Easter. For me, church is one of the few things that actually fills my emotional bucket. Then, he had a mental health crisis while he had the kids on Sunday. The kids were ok, and I had to quickly abandon my plans for the day (brunch with my mom — she made food and brought it over). I’m now considering whether he should even see the kids while he is this low. He was also non-renewed from his job a few weeks ago, which means that it is unlikely he will be able to afford to refinance our marital home. I don’t want this house, and the plan was that he would pay me my equity out of the refinance. As a result, I now need to get the home ready to put on the market. That is a ton of work, and I do not think he will help at all. UGH.
Anonymous says
Are you living in the house or is he? If you’re living there, he will do no work. Do the bare minimum.
So Anon says
I am in the house. I want to maximize the equity and for the house to sell quickly, but there is no way I can do everything I would if I had someone to help out.
Anonymous says
Yup. And that’s terrible. But is reality. To the extent family and friends can help, ask. But assume he will do nothing.
Anon says
Lean on your friends! I’m sure many people have asked what they can do to help. Have a big cleaning day at your house. Ask someone to bring snacks. Ask someone else to bring champagne. Your friends want to help. Total anecdote but the last time we moved, the landlord needed the place back faster than expected and were literally in the place tapping their feet on moving day and complaining about things that were still dirty. I have anxiety and ADD and my husband was already at our new place. I called my best friend in a panic (I know this doesn’t sound that bad but I just ended up in an anxiety spiral) and she was there in 20 minutes with cleaning supplies talking me through the rest of the clean up procedure. She also politely told my landlord to f@ck off for a few hours which was amazing. I still thank her about it to this day and she is always so surprised that I’m so grateful. She views it as a normal friend expectation to bail a friend out in a pinch like that.
anon says
I have had good friends step in like this and it is amazing. Ask for help from the friend who’s skill set it most resembles–if it were me I’d be happy to have a tangible way to help you that I know I’ll do a good job at. (Terrible grammar but hopefully that sentences makes sense!)
Struggle says
Someone please remind me why I need and want to continue working! I left biglaw for a mid size firm and my husband is still there. I recently dropped my schedule to part time and we’ve decided it makes sense for husband’s career to take precedent for now (much more money, doing very well, more demanding work, up for partner very soon). I know it’s the choice we made and I’m happy to have more time with the kids but I’m struggling with getting motivated to keep my own career going. It seems pointless right now and I miss my kids and am tired and distracted from juggling all kid things myself. I feel like I’m really sucking at work and want to throw in the towel even though rationally I know it’s not what I really want or is best for my family. Any advice/commiseration for being in this support spouse role but still keeping up your own career?
So Anon says
Please see my entire backstory: Married for 14 years, together for 18, two kids, two high-earning careers. In the last year, my marriage has spectacularly and quickly fallen apart. STBX has now lost his job. Thankfully, I have my own legs to stand on. My career will support myself and my children. In addition, my dad died in an accident when I was a young child. My mom had planned on quitting her job to be a SAHM when I turned 7. Luckily, she was able to lean into her career and provide for herself and my sister and I. My understanding is that it is easier to ramp up/lean in if you keep your toe in rather than if you leave completely.
Anonymous says
Idk why the solution is quit entirely. How about saying being your support spouse doesn’t work for me, let’s reassess because I need fulfilling work as well?
FVNC says
Two girlfriends and I keep a running tally of reasons why we work, to keep us motivated when we hit slumps. There’s nothing surprising on the list (financial security, maintaining identity, not wanting to spend all waking hours as a babysitter, etc.) — but it helps to have an in-person support network, as much as I puffy-paint glitter heart this community. Sometimes we’ll text each other, “Remind me why I work?” — and as silly as it sounds, it does help to hear them respond, “Well, last week you said it was because you wouln’t want to be totally reliant on [husband]!” Or, “Remember last Saturday when your kids drove you to drink?”. Maybe you have some working mom friends that you could lean on for this sort of thing?
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is a good idea. Also if you have any coworkers with older kids, I’d definitely encourage you to talk to them! They’re been there through the small kid season where everything feels overwhelming and you feel constantly needed at both ends (older kids need you too, but in different ways) and have come out on the other side and can offer a needed perspective.
LadyNFS says
All of these things and and I will emphasize, as a divorce attorney, that I see SOOO many clients who had fantastic careers decide to stay home, who then simply cannot break back in. It’s very real. Also – and I say this as someone who works full-time but is in the role of “support spouse” myself – can you outsource some of the support? I gave myself permission in 2019 due to this community and the Best of Both Worlds Podcast. Now, I have a housekeeper come 3 days a week. She cleans, does laundry, and cooks (with leftovers to get us through lunches and whatnot on the days she’s not here) and it has changed things so dramatically for me I cannot even tell you. Between that and grocery delivery, my “free” time is no longer a slog. I’m still responsible for the “other” stuff I haven’t figured out how to outsource yet (signing kiddo up for classes, though I am passing this along to my nanny more and more! paying bills, taking care of insurance and health-type stuff) but I am infinitely happier doing it this way. So, I guess what I am trying to say, is, can you outsource house stuff (if you aren’t already) so that you can focus on work and kid stuff, and juggle less? Then when you are with kiddos, you can be more present and maybe you’ll feel differently about work.
Anon-nah-nah says
How did you find your housekeeper? How much can one expect to pay for this time of service at this frequency?
LadyNFS says
I posted in a local Moms group on FB looking for a part-time housekeeper. A few moms messaged me that their nannies were looking to pick up extra hours and I did a trial run with 2 women. The woman I ended up with is amazing – she works in the neighborhood as a PT nanny for another family (the mom in that family works PT and from home) so she comes to me 3 days a week before / after her nanny gig. I wish she could come 5 days but her schedule doesn’t allow. Admittedly, I way overpay for this service (~$30 / hour), but my experience has been that if you only want 9-12 hours a week, the hourly rate goes up.
Anon-nah-nah says
“Time” was supposed to say “type.” Thank you for your reply, Lady NFS! This sounds exactly like something my family needs.
Anon says
I think I’m an anomaly on this s!te but I work solely to maintain financial independence from my husband. I would love to be home with my kids full-time and our family doesn’t need my salary. I love and trust my husband, but the stories I’ve heard here and elsewhere of unexpected affairs and divorces make me really scared to leave the workforce and take the SAHM plunge.
Anonymous says
I do not have the option to be a SAHM, but if I did, I would still work for the reasons you noted. Also, with an entrepreneur husband, one of us needs a stable salary and benefits.
KateMiddletown says
Baby teething biscuits – are rice rusks the only thing that people do nowadays? I’m not gonna go down the BLW rabbit hole, but we just bought her some baby Mum Mums and she LOVES them. Other similar packaged snacky things?
rosie says
I think they’re still rice, but Happy Tots makes some that come in lots of different flavors. Also Bamba, if you’re introducing peanut butter (it’s an Israeli snack, Trader Joe’s sells it’s own branded version though).
ElisaR says
Mum Mums are made in China….. I don’t trust food standards in China so we did not give them to babies…. there are a lot of other teethers though (Happy baby comes to mind, we also did another one that was sold at Whole Foods but was not a big brand name). And my little dudes love Bamba as rosie suggested….
AwayEmily says
Cheerios! They’re a classic for a reason.
Anonymous says
Love these for older tots. Mine is 6mos and teething hard so looking for something on the larger side.
KateMiddletown says
On topic – I’m a big fan of this moisturizer. I use it daily under makeup and it smells neutral. I think guru Caroline Hirons turned me on to it. Cheap + effective + feels a little luxe + separate from SPF. Will be repurchasing.
IHeartBacon says
I have just been offered an incredible opportunity at work that I have been waiting 10 years to get. It’s a unicorn of a role, and one that, if passed up, isn’t likely to come around again during my career. The problem? The role would be in addition to my regular work and I am already at 100% capacity between work and family obligations. I really can’t take on any more and the new role would require a lot of travel throughout the year and more work on the weekends. I already outsource everything so hiring more help wouldn’t make a dent. (In fact, there isn’t anything left that I could outsource.) My husband also doesn’t have the capacity to take on more because he is also at 100%, which is why we have so much hired help. When I really think about it, I know the only area in my life where I could steal some time is from the time I spend with my LO, who is only 2 years old.
Someone please talk me into taking the roll. I have been knocking on this door for 10 years and it has finally swung open. But at the same time, I am just so tired all the time that I can’t imagine taking on even more work.
Anonymous says
Why is a role that has to be done in addition to your regular work with travel and weekends such a dream? If it’s so great, negotiate doing less of your regular role. If you can’t do that, reconsider why this is a goal.
HSAL says
Unicorn or not, that sounds terrible. Based on the facts above, I think you’ll be hard-pressed to find someone who tells you to take this role, exhaust yourself even more, and spend less time with your child. Can you share more about why it would be a good thing? It’s presented in a pretty negative light above, so I imagine there’s more context.
Anonymous says
Are you taking about a community/civic role in addition to work? I’m imagining being the chair of the chamber of commerce or something. In which case it would raise your firm and your own profile so much and be temporary that your firm should consider it a no brained to be flexible with demands.
IHeartBacon says
For more info, I’m an attorney and the role is to serve as the chair of one of the practice groups of an international business development organization. The current chair is retiring from the firm and he’s been the face of the firm in this organization for 20 years. My firm has asked me to step into his role to serve as the face of the firm and eventually work my way up to being chair. The opportunity is huge because it will bring me so much business. But once the work comes in, I’ll have to do it. This isn’t like a salesperson role, where a salesperson brings in the order, but someone else manufactures the product. When clients send me the business, they expect me to be the lead handling attorney even if I use junior associates to help me do the work.
The role will bring me a level of success in my career that I know I just can’t get on my own. Being a part of this organization is so highly coveted, and if I turn down the opportunity, I know several other folks at my firm (all men) who wouldn’t hesitate for one second to accept it.
Anonymous says
As another attorney, I think you need to re-evaluate how you distribute your current and future workload stemming from this opportunity. If you use junior associates, they should be drafting emails and letters for you to review and send. Maybe get some input from other partners in advanced roles and the current retiring chair. If you truly have associate manpower at your disposal, you shouldn’t be the one billing all this work. You should be the face with the clients, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing all the work. Happy to discuss further.
anon says
Yup, this! As a fourth-year associate, I remember being particularly good at ghost writing emails for the partner I worked for most. He would sometimes tweak things or add comments I couldn’t have known (and bcc me) but I did the bulk of the time-consuming work. Also make sure you have a very good assistant in place!
shortperson says
i think you should do it and consider how you “outsource” on work. IME as a non business generator at a law firm, if you are bringing in that much business you should be able to be picky and demanding about delegating work.
CPA Lady says
You may find the book “I Know How She Does It” by Laura Vanderkam helpful. It’s a book about scheduling basically, scheduling your life thoughtfully so that you have time with your child(ren) even in the midst of stressful and demanding careers.
Or you might read it and weep with exhaustion and quit your job for a lean out job like I did, but at least it may provide you some clarity.
partner says
This is late, but – do it! As someone else said, there are ways you can reshuffle the doing of the work and your other duties so that you can devote the time to this opportunity. You can still be the relationship manager and the client-facing partner and manage the work while not billing a majority of it. Do you think all of the rainmakers at firms do most of their work? The rainmakers at firms often bill the least hours, but have the most power and security. Your firm will understand if your personally billed hours go down while you’re serving in this role, because it’s an investment of time that will result in more revenue to the firm. Also, consider ramping down any other nonbillable work you are doing like serving on internal committees. After you bring in more work and have a higher profile, you will have THAT much more stature, ability to influence things at your firm and open up more opportunities to deserving women, and general freedom to make other choices in the future because you’ll have this position on your bio for life. I highly encourage you to do it! Like you said, if you don’t, some man will, and then more status quo which we definitely don’t need.
DLC says
I know no one can tell you truly what is going to be “right” – though I also feel like there is never any 100% right decision. But I “leaned out” several times when my second child was born, and I regret it. Not because the opportunities wouldn’t come up again (they have), but because in retrospect it would have absolutely been doable, and also I felt that I had contributed to a narrative in my industry that the job I have is not for people with children The times I did lean in- it was stressful and I had to call in a lot of favors, but I was glad I took on the challenging projects. Of course, my work is project based, so it is a lot different from your situation, but if you are seriously excited about the opportunity, think about it in a more long term picture- and think about your family’s needs long term too. Kids will become more independent and need less of your time (though they will need more from you emotionally as they get older).
Socks/shoes at daycare? says
For babies and LOs who are not yet walking, what do you put on their feet for daycare? My LO is 8 months and will not leave socks on. We’ve been sending him in sleep n play/ footed pajama type outfits but as the weather gets warmer I’m not sure that’s a great option, and I’d like to put him in cute little outfits again sometimes! Is it weird to send a baby to daycare barefoot?
ElisaR says
Robeez
Anonymous says
Freshly Picked moccs (if you can swallow the price)
AwayEmily says
Yeah, Roobeez (you can often find cheap ones on 6pm) but also bare feet is totally fine as long as your daycare is cool with it. My kids were barefoot 90% of the time at daycare until they learned to walk. I left a couple of pairs of socks at school for them to use in case they took the babies for a walk in the stroller/wagon.
HSAL says
We do Robeez because our daycare asks for some type of shoes in the older infant room, but if they’re fine with it, I don’t see any problem sending him barefoot. Barefoot is better than socks because they’re less likely to slide around
anon says
Barefoot is 100% okay until daycare says otherwise! After that, I really like the Freshly Picked moccasins if they are in your budget. They do last forever, even though they are leather shoes.
Anonymous says
Our daycare didn’t have any rules, so we sent them barefoot all spring/summer until they learned to walk.
AIMS says
Zuitano booties. Sizing can be a bit big, fyi.
Anonymous says
PSA that Target just started its car seat trade in event!
What convertible carseat do you have and what do you like/ dislike?
Anon says
We have a Britax Advocate with the anti-rebound bar. I’ve heard the installation is hard but DH did that and had no major problems. I think the seat is really easy into get her into and out of, and my kiddo seems to think it’s comfortable.
Fwiw, if can wait a while to get a new one, Target does 20% off a lot of carseats on Black Friday. We got the Britax seat 20% off then, with no trade-in (we sold our bucket seat for about 50% of its original cost).
Anon says
We have a Graco Extend 2 Fit and it’s a pain to tighten the straps.
Anonymous says
Anecdotally I’ve heard it’s a pain to tighten the straps for most rear-facing car seats, given the angle.
Anon says
Thank you for telling me this! I was cursing myself/the new seat every time I was fighting to get kiddo in. My Graco bucket seat was SO much easier. But I feel better now. At least I’m in good company.
AnotherAnon says
We have Graco Extend 2 Fit as well. I like it just fine – I think my favorite part is that it’s pretty easy to take the cover off to wash. It’s heavy but we just bit the bullet and bought two so we don’t have to switch every day or leave it at school. I think two Gracos cost about the same as one Britax so that’s basically how I made my choice. YMMV.
GCA says
To piggyback a little: what *hybrid* convertible (forward-facing only that converts to a booster) do you like and why? After kid 2 turns 1 this summer, we’re thinking of having her inherit kid 1’s regular convertible, and switching him to a hybrid convertible – he needs to stay forward-facing 5-point harnessed a while longer but I want something that we’ll be able to use for several more years. FWIW we probably won’t travel a whole lot with his seat, only hers (the Ridesafer vest will be sufficient for him where we’re going – good public transit, minimal taxi use).
Redux says
We have the Chicco MyFit Harness+Booster Seat and like it. My kid thinks it’s too much like a traditional carseat and complains that it’s not *really* a booster like her friends use, but I am all about that 5-pt harness. I find this brand easier to tighten with the kid in the seat than our other brand (Britax), which is why we switched from Britax for this (final! finally!) purchase.
anon says
This will seem like a pedantic note, but I think you might have better luck shopping if you drop “convertible” from your description. It is my understanding (subject to correction from the crowd!) that “convertible” in car seat speak means convertible from rear facing to front facing. What you are looking for is a “combination seat,” a “harness-to-booster seat,” a “2-in-1 seat,” or a “3-in-1 seat.”
I don’t have specific suggestions but Lucie’s L*st is always a great place to start!
KateMiddletown says
Agreed in more than terminology. We did infant seat for 0-14 mos~ (chicco), convertible until 5ish years old (britax marathon or similar), then high back booster that converted to no back booster (graco.)
AwayEmily says
We have a Diono Radian for our 3yo and a Britax Marathon Clicktight for our 15mo. I like both of them. The Diono keeps kids more upright and is nice for extended rear-facing (the average-sized 3 year old is still happily rear-facing and I expect to keep her that way until she is 4).
The Marathon is REALLY easy to tighten the straps on — by far the easiest of any carseat I’ve used. You don’t have to pull from the back at all. However because it has a really bucket-y shape, it’s a kind of annoying to get the baby into it without bumping his head on the car, and I think that will get even harder as he gets older/bigger.
Anon-nah-nah says
We have a Diono Radian and I concur that it is great for extended rear-facing. Our 90th percentile nearly 3 y.o. still sits rear-facing.
HSAL says
We’ve been through several at this point.
Cosco Scenera Next: Cheap, light, easy to install, but not long-lasting. My kid was perfectly happy in it for 2 1/2 years but it didn’t seem comfortable to me.
Britax Advocate (no rebound bar): Reasonably compact front to back, I like the no-rethread hardness, easy to fasten, seems comfy, easy to install. It’s also very wide (extra side impact, which is why we initially got it), expensive, and I think it’s silly that such an expensive seat doesn’t come with a cupholder and yet my $45 Cosco Scenera Next did.
Chicco NextFit Zip Air: Pretty similar pros and cons to the Advocate, although it does come with a cupholder. I haven’t had the opportunity to try the zip-off washable cover, but I feel like it’ll come in handy.
Clek Fllo with the ARB: I wanted to like this one more than I actually do. It’s fine. The first time we put them in them they screamed and I was terrified they were uncomfortable and I was going to have to pay to ship it back, but they’ve gotten used to them and they’re in the lesser-used car anyway. It’s not as easy to install, doesn’t have as good of recline options as the Advocate or NextFit, and it’s narrow but takes up more front to back space than the others because of the ARB, which we had to use to get a good install in the more reclined position.
We also tried the Combi Coccoro which were fine (we were hoping a tiny seat would get us some more mileage out of our Fit but I couldn’t put the middle baby in easily or safely), but they had a real pain of a chest clip lock.
HSAL says
Oh, and also the Graco MyRide65 (though I think there are several similar models). I don’t like it, but my brother gave them to us. The front-facing is still really reclined, which I don’t love. But it’s fine.
Things to look for: Love the EZ buckle on the Britax Advocate. Something I don’t have on ours, but am jealous of, is the hooks to hold the straps out of the way.
Anonymous says
We had a Britax Boulevard and I hated it. I could never get it tight enough. I swapped it for a Maxi-Cosi Pria 85 and am thankful every day. The straps rarely get twisted, and when they do, I can easily untangle them. It’s easy to tighten and loosen, there are little hooks on the sides to hold the straps out while your kid gets in, and the covers come on and off easily and are machine washable (my kid’s a puker). The only downside for me is that with two of them in the back of our sedan, there’s no room for a third carseat or person to sit in the middle.
Anon says
Chicco Nextfit Zip Air. We use it FF because my (4 year old sized) 20 month old gets carsick and that helps, at least for short trips (long trips are a whole other story). Install is very easy – we have them in both my car and my husband’s car and have had to uninstall and reinstall multiple times because of the aforementioned sickness. The machine washable zip off cover is worth every single penny. What I dislike most about it is that after I believe 35 pounds RF, you have to switch from latch to seatbelt install (not sure if that’s different on other seats) and I think it’s if you go over either 40 or 45 pounds FF you have to switch to seatbelt install. My 20 month old is somewhere between 30-35 pounds, so if you have smaller kids that’s probably less of an issue. We’ve never done the seatbelt install, so maybe it’s not as difficult as I’ve made it out to be in my head. The other thing I dislike most is that under that lovely zip off cover are a lot of teeny tiny crevices that I can’t fit a Q-tip in but somehow still manage to collect an inordinate amount of vomit. Sun, vinegar and chlorox wipes are my friends.
anon says
A real seat buckle is rated to restrain more weight than the latch hooks. So, the latch to seat belt switch is a factor of the latch weight limits plus the weight of the seat. The seat has no bearing on it, except that a heavier seat = an earlier switch to the buckle.
Anon says
Interesting. Thanks for the explanation! It certainly is a heavy seat, but my husband and I are both on the larger and stronger side, so we don’t find it terribly difficult to maneuver.
anon says
If you’re fairly strong and tall it won’t be that hard. Fishing it through the belt path will be the annoying part for you.