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Anon says
Non scary movie recs please? Kids sick, DH and I are sick, and our nanny is sick. My kids (age 3) are petrified of everything.
Anonymous says
Curious George holiday specials!
OP says
Curious George movies are too scary for them
Anonymous says
A Very Monkey Christmas is one of our family’s favorite movies – my husband and myself included!
We also had good luck with Sing and Trolls (the first one) at that age, but I can’t promise absolutely no scary moments. The PBS cartoons typically have lots of specials – if you can get access to PBS streaming for the month, it might be very worth it.
Anonymous says
Sing is too scary. There are explosions and Chase scenes etc.
If curious George is too scary then I’m not sure what to suggest. I can’t think of any scary parts in Very Monkey Christmas!
Coco melon?
Anon says
I think what is “scary” depends a lot on the person. My kid is fine with (age appropriate) explosions and chase scenes but really struggles with any emotional sadness, especially parent-child separation.
GCA says
Oh gosh. As a preschooler, my kid was sensitive to emotional sadness rather than explosions or chases. We thought the Daniel Tiger movie was totally innocuous until he asked ‘Where’s Grandma Tiger?’ and I had to say ‘She’s…er…working!’
Anon says
Is Grandma Tiger officially dead in the movie?! I just told my kid every family looks different (she knows some kids have two mommies or two daddies) and Daniel has a grandpa but not a grandma.
GCA says
I should have taken your approach. Kid was very anxious about the absence of a Grandma Tiger throughout the movie!
Anon says
Daniel Tiger has ‘movies’ that are on prime (often multiple episodes themed together).
Also, my kid is scared of a lot but likes Olaf’s Frozen Adventure on Disney+. There are wolves that chase Olaf though, so YMMV
anon says
I found Daniel Tiger made my 3 year old afraid of way more things, things she hadn’t once thought could actually be scary. I strongly dislike this show. I could see it useful for finding, like, the dentist episode before a dnetist appt but as far as running back-to-back episodes just for watching, NFW.
Anon says
As anecdata the other way my 3 year old is quite sensitive and fearful, and I think regular Daniel Tiger watching helped her. It certainly didn’t seem to hurt. She did internalize some of the episodes (e.g., she started going around telling people she was allergic to peaches) but it didn’t have negative effects other than us having to clarify to people that she is not in fact allergic to any foods.
Anonymous says
Agree. My mom thought the same thing about Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood back in the day. Apparently Daniel Tiger in the Neighborhood of Make Believe convinced me I was supposed to be afraid of going to school.
Anon says
I think Daniel Tiger has made my kid better at expressing her feelings, and being OK with feelings in general which helps us a LOT overall.
Walnut says
The only thing Daniel Tiger taught my kids was to “Grrr” at me.
AwayEmily says
Honestly, you’re probably going to get a lot of recommendations for things like Cars and Sing that my kids found terrifying. I think with super sensitive kids you’re better off just doing some TV show marathons, which are about 100x less scary than movies. Puffin Rock, Daniel Tiger, and Sesame Street are the most chill ones I can think of.
On a side note, as someone with very sensitive kids, I’ve found that they CAN be trained to watch “scarier” things (e.g. Frozen) if I prep them extensively ahead of time — reading the books, talking about what’s going to happen, sitting with them during it. And they often then end up really enjoying it. But if my kids were sick I would not want to put in that work, and instead I would just put them in front of some very mild TV.
Clementine says
Bluey? I find it to be one of the least annoying kids shows.
Anon says
+1 for Bluey. It’s great for kids and highly enjoyable for parents (I have a theory it’s actually a show written for adults that was made into a cartoon so kids would be able to watch it too)
AwayEmily says
My husband says he identifies with the dad in Bluey more than any other character on television.
Anon says
Same with mine! Honestly, we love the show. There are some great articles out there about why it’s so solid – dad’s involved with the kids, Bluey is in fact a girl, and a few others that I can’t think of at the moment. Downside is my daughter’s preferred method of waking us up, no matter if 2am or 7am, is a solid “SQUISH SQUASH”.
Clementine says
Lol, I just mentioned this to my husband and he said he 100% concurs.
Anonymous says
I have a similar theory about Sesame Street.
GCA says
+2 for Bluey. Each episode is less than ten minutes, put it on autoplay for an hour.
Anon says
+3! My 3 year old just discovered Bluet and is obsessed. She watched >2 hours straight of Bluey on a road trip. We pay for Disney+ just for Bluey and it feels worth it.
Anon says
And she isn’t super sensitive (she’s seen Nemo and Frozen) but a movie has never held her attention for more than 20 minutes. If we want lots of screen time, repeated episodes of a favorite TV show (it was Daniel Tiger before this) are much better than a movie.
Anonymous says
Just put Cocomelon on. Give the tiny dictators what they crave.
Anon says
Lol
Coco melon makes me want to rip my ears off but it sure does chill my kid out when he is especially cranky.
Anon says
My kid is afraid of a lot but we have had 0 scares with the shows Trash Truck and all but one episode of Cory Carson (which was about a scary movie). Trash Truck is pretty cute and not annoying at all.
TheElms says
Second this and there is a Christmas themed one now. Go Dog Go on Netflix is also not at all scary (but a TV show).
anon in brooklyn says
Maybe try the Winnie the Pooh movies? Also, it depends on what your kid is scared of. Mine has always been unbothered by actual scary stuff, but really upset about any kind of confrontation, particularly parents scolding kids.
anonamommy says
+1 on Winnie the Pooh. Also the Ice Age movies and Madagascar have been good for my very sensitive child.
Anonanonanon says
Heffalumps and Woozles are scary.
Anon says
Kids movies are often deliberately very scary and emotionally manipulative. So many Disney movies feature a child’s parents dying, which is incredibly traumatic. We mostly show my 4 year old G or PG movies that aren’t specifically aimed at kids. We’ve had good luck with The Sound of Music, Cool Runnings, Singin in the Rain, Mary Poppins, The Wizard of Oz, The King and I, Miracle on 34th Street, My Fair Lady, The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and The Princess Bride (this one may be too scary).
Anonymous says
This perfectly overlaps with our list of favorite movies. I’d add Ramona and Beezus.
anon says
I was irrationally scared of the Wizard of Oz for a very long time as a kid – that witch is scary, man!!! Maybe not the best idea for OP!
NLD in NYC says
You’re not alone, the flying monkeys spooked me for a long time.
FP says
Snowy Day on Amazon Prime streaming. It’s 45 minutes and so charming.
Anonanonanon says
Yes! My daughter loves this!
Anonymous says
White Christmas. But skip the minstrel show number (for obvious reasons) and “Choreography” (boring especially to children who will not get the mid-twentieth century cultural references).
DLC says
My four year old loves to watch train videos on YouTube. Like basically these really long videos of trains going down the tracks.
Anon says
I came to the realization yesterday that I am much happier when I am not around my kids than when I am with them. I feel like they put me on edge/in a state of anxiety/bad mood a lot (I have two and they are at difficult ages but they are not tiny toddlers either, plus COVID/being home a lot doesn’t help). Like I feel so much happier when I am working, with my friends, etc. Like I could be out for a couple hours alone running errands and be in a great mood, come home, and my kids manage to bring my mood down quite a bit very quickly.
Does anyone else relate? Anything that I can do to just enjoy parenting more? All I can control is my behaviors and not my feelings, and I feel like I do a good job at not showing my kids how I feel, spending lots of time with them, being engaged with them, etc, but still feel this way constantly. I am hoping this is related to a covid winter and that I will feel better in the summer, but right now it just feels horrible.
PS – Posting this as anon because I worry that at least some people will tell me I am a horrible person for feeling this way
Anonymous says
I don’t think you’re a horrible person but I do think you should speak to your doctor about depression.
Anonymous says
Maybe it’s not OP’s fault. Maybe her kids really are that challenging.
Anon says
Eh this doesn’t sound like depression to me (I have been depressed). Depression is when everything feels joyless and hard. If she’s feeling normal in all other parts of life and struggling only with the kids, that’s probably just a challenging parent season.
Anon says
Depression manifests differently for different people. It really sounds more like a form of anxiety to me, but I think OP would do well to talk to a doctor/psychiatrist about it. Antidepressants did wonders for the anxiety/irritability I felt around my family when I was untreated.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I feel this. I think a lot of it is just that kids are, by design, selfish, self-centered, irrational, needy and not very nice a lot of the time to those they’re closest to (ie mom and dad). Like if I had a friend like my kids, everyone would tell me to drop them! But they are kids and they’re still developing so it’s no one’s fault. I can’t think of my interactions with them as hanging out with a buddy or my spouse because that’s not fair to anyone. I try to find the joy in their hilarious songs, thoughts and silly games, but also ok to take many breaks from them!
I don’t know if that helps but you’re certainly not alone and not horrible!
Also I always think of that book “all joy and no fun” – honestly feel this a lot, like the interactions are not always fun but the deep meaning my kids have brought to my life is always there.
GCA says
Yes, this! It is totally developmentally normal for kids to be selfish, grouchy, demanding, lacking in boundaries, and irrational – we don’t love them any less for it. You’re not alone.
Just an idea – OP, can you pinpoint what exactly it is about time with your kids that causes the anxiety/ bad mood? If it’s multiple demands at the same time, a structured activity might help; if it’s someone jumping on the sofa (seriously, I have one kid who absolutely never stops moving, they can be holding a conversation with you and running in circles at the same time), outdoor time and space to ‘run it off’ might be good. Is it endless squabbling? Read Siblings Without Rivalry, and/ or do something 1:1 with each kid. Is it asking them for the 3645th time to put their towel in the laundry hamper? How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. Etc.
Personally, I’m such an introvert that two children asking me for two different things while demanding my attention (‘mom, can I tell you something?’ ‘mom, look what I made’) makes me want to tear my hair out, especially when I’m already stressed or tired. I sometimes find myself resenting my high-energy extrovert for it. So when I’m solo with them, we usually spend a bit of time on a structured activity, art, a board game, etc. A lot of the time, spending 20 or 30 minutes focused entirely on them is enough to reset them for a while, and then they go off and play together.
Anon says
I’m so glad you posted this bc i often feel like this! I have 3.5 year old twins. I do a lot of solo parenting and it’s much better when DH is around too, though they still seem to like to touch me 24/7. It was actually a lot better for me ages 2.5-3.25 and i really enjoyed them but now they are total terrors. I can have so much energy and be depleted after 20 min with the kids. I love my kids, i don’t regret having kids, but it’s emotionally much more draining for me than I’d thought it would be
Anonymous says
You are not a horrible person.
1. Of course you are happier when you have freedom to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, without being responsible for your kids’ needs.
2. How old are your kids, and are they high-needs? Young (<7) high-needs kids are just exhausting.
3. Is it possible that one or both of them has ADHD or other special needs? Many people I know who find parenting very challenging have kids who are later diagnosed with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, etc. Quite often the parents assume it's their own fault for not parenting their children effectively. With some of these kids every little thing is an exhausting battle. Proper treatment for the kids and support and education for the parents can make daily life much less burdensome.
anon says
This – my kid was ‘highly sensitive’ and is now diagnosed with ADHD. I could not tell you how much a$$vice I got when he was littler from the older generation and parents of other kids about how we weren too rigid/just needed to be stricter/hit him/etc. and everything would be fine.
Learning that there were reasons why he was acting the way he did and coaching from my therapist/books/kiddos therapist/etc. made a huge difference. It can still be hard but I feel like I’m operating with a playbook vs. flailing.
Anon says
It is very hard to get ADHD diagnoses for little kids though. I suspect my sensitive, spirited kid has it, but the answer we’ve gotten from two peds and a therapist is that it can’t be diagnosed before age 5 or 6 and even then I think it’s really hard to get a diagnosis if your kid is doing fine in school and not a disruption to the classroom.
Anonymous says
Yes–the diagnosis is based on questionnaires completed by parents and teachers, and teachers don’t flag concerns unless the kid is failing academically and/or disrupting the classrooms. Smart kids with the inattentive type of ADHD who can fake it at school require lots of parental advocacy.
anon says
Fwiw, our son has innatentive type ADHD and flew under the radar. We paid out of pocket to get him tested because he is an intense people pleaser in school and we only really noticed how bad it was during the pandemic/online school (teachers never picked it up because he’s the silly, but good kid). Even with the minimal interventions we have in place (and the $$$ we spent out of pocket on the testing) it was 100% worth it to be able to get a professional backing up my intuition and we have a LOT more guidance/framework for how to best parent him.
anon says
Yep, I have two almost-5-yos who we strongly suspect have ADHD (and their teachers agree based on their classroom behavior), but it’s very hard to find anyone who will test a diagnose a smart 4yo who is doing above-grade-level work, even if they’re also constantly disrupting the class.
Anon says
I am starting to wonder about my 4.5-year-old, but until I started doing some digging all I knew were the stereotypes (hyper, unruly child) and that’s not him. He is hyper focused on activities of his choosing, but if it’s something a parent is pushing he is spacey and distracted and we cannot get him to complete a task in a timely manner (he’ll even be sitting to put on his shoes and the next thing we know the shoes are cast aside and he’s off playing). He also has intense meltdowns that seem centered around shame and worrying we’re mad at him, rather than about not getting his way. In general he’s a sweet, loving kid but he is a challenge! I would absolutely call him spirited and deeply sensitive
anon says
This resonates. We have one – errr – spirited 3.5 year old daughter. I’ve been in IVF treatment for a very long time for #2. Sometimes DD behaves so poorly that I find myself thinking, “do we really want to sign up for doing this all over again? because this sucks.” And I don’t mean that tongue-and-cheek … I sincerely have been rethinking the desire for a second kid because #1 is just not that enjoyable a lot of the time these days. I try to remind myself it’s the age and it’ll get better but then you get all of these “oooh, it only gets worse!!” not helpful comments from people, mostly family that observes DD. So, no real commentary other than solidarity. You’re not an awful person.
Anon says
Solidarity. 3.5 has been the hardest age for us so far by a long shot. We were always leaning one and done but age 3.5 cemented it. It feels like she is always whining, pretending to be a baby who can’t communicate, screaming, crying or… sleeping. I enjoyed the baby and toddler years a lot, and it is hard and I feel guilty about the fact that I don’t really enjoy my kid at this age. But she is really not a lot of fun to be around. It has also been very hard on my marriage, much moreso than having a newborn was.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Another honest thought from me: I’ve found that having my first kid be more “spirited” than my second a lot easier than the reverse as I may have been arrogant to think that my kid’s behavior had to do with my parenting more than their actual innate personality! As he’s gotten older, I see the benefits of my first’s strong personality in that he’s outgoing and will hopefully develop into a leader, whereas my second is more reserved but more easygoing at home. So you may be pleasantly surprised with your second, and in any case, you’ve already dealt with the tantrums and stubbornness so you’re prepared.
Anon says
Yeah as someone who has an extremely spirited only child I have to say there was a bit of schadenfraude in seeing my bestie with the super chill first kid get humbled by her second kid. She was definitely giving me low key “I’m a better mom than you” vibes until that second kid came along and threw her for a total loop. She finally realized her first child’s laidback personality is genetics, not her perfect parenting. I firmly believe parents shouldn’t take too much credit (or blame) for the way their kids are. In most cases it’s baked in from the moment of conception.
Anonymous says
I was hoping that my SIL’s second kid would cure her of being a POOPCUP. Sadly, her second is as perfect as her first. She will never learn.
Anon says
I’m definitely ambivalent about this. There’s someone in my family who is literally psychotic (fantasies about killing toddlers, attempted to drown someone once, abusive, etc.), and some family members describe knowing really early on – like age one – that there was a problem.
But good parenting can take a mediocre kid and make them into a good kid, and bad parenting can really mess people up. It might not show up in the early years, but it definitely shows up in adulthood. Emotionally unstable households rewire the brain and create lifelong problems. Stable, loving parents can do a lot to mitigate the problems that tougher children face.
The problems come when parents who lucked into having a good kid think that other people are doing it wrong, rather than understanding we’re all running our own race, with our own obstacles, on our own course.
Anon says
You’re not a horrible person!! We can’t control our feelings, only our actions.
DLC says
+1 to this. I feel like a lot of days I’m just faking it with my nine year old and that’s the best I can do.
Carolyn Hax had a column earlier this week about a LW who was struggling with not feeling much affection for their 14 year old. She made a great point that parenting has to adapt to a child’s need as they grow… so just as we don’t have to make sure our kid is sleeping on their back anymore, we do have to adjust to what they need right now. And I feel like that’s the tricky part of kids getting older, is figuring out what they need and how to best provide that. Especially since as kids get older, sussing out how to fulfill their needs is harder. And this is on top of pandemic caregiving when everyone is just tapped.
No Face says
Maybe this just isn’t your phase? When I have an infant, work is absolutely my happy place! Everything is where I put it. No one needs my assistance to poop or eat. I eat food and drink coffee while it is still hot. I can experience the joy of focus and completing a task.
Now I have a young kid and a toddler, I love it! But I am dreading the teen years. I know other people who HATED when their kids were young, and love having teens. (One of my friends said when his kids were little, those were the worst years of his entire life. Now he and his teens stay up talking all night some times).
CCLA says
Ha, same. Infant years are a thing of the past thankfully but I do not miss them. Sure, awww, they were cute and squishy and they grow up too fast, but I am so much more enjoying them the older they get.
3 and 5 now and they’re so much more enjoyable to spend time with, but I do still crave alone time. If I have too much time with my kids, the quality deteriorates. For me at least, gotta get some separation, then the time we do have is way better and even fun. I’m not always great at actually taking that separate time, and sometimes because of work schedules and childcare scheduling I simply can’t, and those are the times it is the hardest. A long chunk of solo time helps to reset.
Also echoing GCA’s advice to do something structured. I legit enjoy playing memory with my 5yo who is now good enough to frequently beat me, or doing puzzles. I do not enjoy arts and crafts but can sip coffee and do a crossword at the table while they do playdough. Do not enjoy the make believe stuff but if I do it for 15 minutes once in awhile, totally directed by them (no creative effort by me) it seems to fill their bucket.
Anonanonanon says
I 100% feel this way! It’s OK!
A lot of it is because of my ADHD. When I’m on my stimulants I don’t feel that way but I don’t take them every day. I am just on edge and overwhelmed around them a lot. It’s really overwhelming to try to focus on what you’re doing, plan ahead, anticipate the obstacles that will arise or the kids’ reactions, how you’ll handle that when it happens, what you can do to prepare or prevent it, etc. in the presence of kids. At least that’s what I find myself doing.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed I do a bit better with a somewhat-structured activity. Bingo, for example, has been good recently. We have one that is pictures so even the younger one can play. The game “gas out” is a hit with the kids and is so easy. Guess Who is good if they’re old enough. I’m not a fan of games at all but these require almost 0 thought and give me a break.
Also, stole the trick my mom used when I was a kid which is to tell your kids loud noises ruin baked goods in the oven so that they’re quiet while boxed brownies are baking. I may have believed that until I was way too old.
Anon for today (again) says
I LOLed at your baked good story.
SC says
I can relate. My son has ADHD, which means he’s high energy and intense at the best of times. I have a few techniques for enjoying parenting more. First, we rotate pretty frequently between family time with all of us, time with one parent “on” and the other taking a break, and alone time. When we do engage, we try to really engage and not look at our phones, etc., but we are comfortable taking breaks. Second, I negotiate what activity we do so it’s one I have energy for, and I set timers for activities that are draining for me. After a full day of work, I’m OK saying I can only play Connect 4 for 20 minutes. (My son is super intense about Connect 4.) After that, we can do something less intense, like a puzzle or reading on the couch.
anonymous says
You’re not a horrible person. I can relate. I love my kids but at the same time I wish I could go back and do things differently.
Anon says
Curious what you mean by this, not the op but I bet there are people that also feel this way
ANon says
Anonymous at 9:38 said it best: “Of course you are happier when you have freedom to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, without being responsible for your kids’ needs.”
How old are your kids? When I get into moods where I just want to be left the eff alone, I roughhouse with my 5year old. We both love it. For him, he loves being able to tackle me, jump on me, hit me in the face with a pillow, etc. For me, the physical touch seems to shift my mood because of the uptick in endorphins. He and I will literally be rolling around on the floor, laughing and squealing. It always makes me feel better, and he is always physically exhausted and ready to go spend some time by himself playing quietly with his toys.
Check out: https://www.highlights.com/parents/articles/6-reasons-roughhousing-good-children
Anonymous says
I feel this way sometimes, and I think it often has to do with my anxieties – e.g., I start worrying about whether my overweight son is eating too much/exercising too little, whether I am letting him have too much screentime, etc. When he was a baby it was more is he napping to little or too much, am I feeding him the right foods, etc. Not being in charge of him was a huge relief.
Anon says
I agree with this. I think a part of why I find preschool age so hard is that I have so many more things to worry about now, like I am disciplining my kid right, are we doing the right things as far as helping her establish friendships and learn social skills, are her physical skills developing on track, etc. Babies can be exhausting, but are objectively simple to care for, you just have to feed them and hold them and put them to sleep, and most healthy babies meet milestones without their parents really doing anything. I know “big kids big problems” is generally applied to preteens and teens vs younger kids, but I have found it very true for preschoolers vs babies and toddlers too.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you’re a horrible person, but I do think SOME women regret having kids. Can you think about why you wanted to have kids and what you enjoyed doing with your parents as a kid and do more of that? There are articles on this where you may find some recognition or support. Have you always felt this way with your children, or just with COVID/the ages-phases they’re in? Despite your best efforts I do think people can sense underlying feelings. Do you and your kids have mutually enjoyable activities? I have had to work to find activities both me and my kids like. These including hiking, watercolor painting is super soothing (4.5 year old), play doh, and anything with water (swimming, slip and slide, etc…). We also play hide and seek or rough house a lot. Of course winter evenings where the kids are fighting after dinner and it’s dark and cold out put us on edge, but in general I want to be with my kids not away from them.
Anonymous says
For the new mom who posted yesterday about when to buy new clothes: Frame makes some super stretchy jeans that are supposed to fit a range of 5 sizes. If I were two months postpartum, I’d totally give them a try.
Anon says
Not that mom, but those sound amazing.
IHeartBacon says
Wit & Wisdom jeans are like this, too, although i don’t think they’re advertised that way. Mine still fit after a 25 lb COVID weight gain. And i don’t mean that I am squeeeeezing myself into them and all my muffin top is spilling over the waistband, I mean they legit still fit.
These are the specific ones I have: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/wit-wisdom-ab-solution-high-waist-itty-bitty-bootcut-jeans-regular-petite-nordstrom-exclusive/5609488?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=420
Anon for today (again) says
I posted a few days ago about a surprise pregnancy (I have a properly placed IUD and used condoms). Now it looks like it may end up being ectopic or otherwise non-viable, because I’ve been bleeding and hCG levels haven’t risen as promised. They should have been about 600 yesterday and they were 242. I’m trying to steel myself for a methotrexate or chemical abortion in the next few days after my transvaginal ultrasound. It seems like I shouldn’t plan to be at family Christmas, right? Should I be okay at home with painkillers? Anything else you wish you had known? Sh-tty timing but I definitely want to get it done and not wait until after Christmas.
Anon says
No advice but sorry you’re going through this.
Anon for today (again) says
Thanks. It’s been a whirlwind of a week!
anon says
So I had the mtx shots (twice, five days apart) and felt absolutely fine. Aside from being, you know, sad. But my HCG wasn’t falling very fast (peaked around 500), so they offered me another round of shots or a quick procedure to remove the embryo with a tiny vacuum. I chose the procedure just to get it over with and it was totally fine — painful for less than a minute, had only OTC painkillers, sat in the car for 90 minutes after with no issue, then went walking on the beach the next day. I had a brief bout of cramping and the expected amount of bleeding, but it really was physically okay. I don’t know what I’d do about Christmas if I were you. I’d give yourself as much flexibility as possible if you can, to decide to go or not at the last minute. You might be physically fine but not want to be around people. You might be crampy and want a distraction.
Sorry. It sucks.
Anon for today (again) says
Thanks, that’s very helpful. I have another blood draw in the morning, so I guess we’ll see what’s going on. I definitely was not trying to get pregnant (and have a healthy pre-K son) but as soon as I adjusted and started looking forward to it the bleeding started. Seems a bit cruel. Perhaps the hCG will keep rising and the ultrasound will see a sac, but I am trying to figure out messaging before Christmas, new year’s, my MIL’s birthday and my son’s 5th all hit in a 10-day period.
anon says
I had a manual abortion (suction) after an ectopic scare around Halloween. My hCG was quite a bit higher – about 8,000, in case that matters. After the procedure physically, I was back to normal the next day (minus relatively heavy bleeding). Mentally, I was a wreck. Our circumstances were different – mine came after just about 2 years of IVF, but I say this all because it’s just … a lot, no matter what your long-term end game, I think. The poking, prodding, incessant appointments, blood draws, waiting for results…it’s so shitty. If this all happened the day before Christmas to me I would have gone ahead with seeing my family but would have skipped the extended family gathering because that family is stressful and drama and I had no bandwidth to process that. Good luck to you. Sorry this is happening.
Anon says
I had an ectopic and had the mtx shots and felt absolutely horrible (including vomiting) for about 2-3 days. Don’t want to scare you as I was fine and it worked very well for me, but want to let you know that there is a range of reactions to that medication. The vomiting part is quite rare, I think, but feeling pretty crummy afterwards is pretty common. Definitely don’t wait to get the shots if it is ectopic because there is always a chance of rupture. So sorry you are going through this and it is such bad timing.
Anon says
Anyone in the Chicago area have a hair salon to recommend for a preschooler’s first cut? I’m looking for a salon that will really give her a cut, not just cut off one lock of hair for a photo op. Either city or suburbs is fine, we’re coming from out of state.
Anon says
The Mario Tricoci chain has children’s haircuts for $25, only on certain days. The location nearest me only offers children’s cuts Sun-Wed. They do a good job with a “real” cut – much better than the KidSnips type of place.
Anonymous says
Kid Snips is a local chain with locations in the suburbs and city. We use them for our toddler and he’s always happy to go. The seats are all vehicles, they give you a tablet and a free toy, etc.
Anonymous says
I cannot take any more of my husband’s financial anxiety. I sent him out to do errands and he came back convinced we are headed to the poorhouse because of the price of COVID tests and prescription drugs. If history is any guide, he will now wreck Christmas worrying about how much we spent on gifts and groceries.
Anon says
Girl. We’ve told you all before. Divorce him. Life is better without a helpless, anxious man baby. You have been miserable for way too long.
Anonymous says
Agreed.
Sad and anon says
Well, my vaccinated hubby got a positive on a rapid covid test yesterday. He immediately went for a PCR. I got a PCR soon after, and later was neg on a rapid (I am boosted). We kept kiddos home, they are getting PCRs today, let daycare know the situation and also called off plans with family visiting from out of town. So the big Christmas is cancelled. We scheduled tests for a week out in hopes we’ll get a negative sooner (if anecdata about Omicron is true.) But I’m crushed. Any shreds of hope I can cling to? Fun quarantined at Christmas activities? f*** covid, forever.
Anon says
All the cookie baking and decorating (freeze them for later or have a sugar binge, dealer’s choice). Mimosas (and sparkling cider) with presents (or all day…or all week). Lazy post presents brunch, afternoon naps for everyone and late dinner.
Anonymous says
Just commiseration. I’m in NYC and so far am negative but my husband is a teacher bathing in COVID-y kids daily and my Dad in VA somehow tested positive on Sunday (rapid test, PCR results STILL PENDING?). So we’re probably not going anywhere and I’m really sad and am having trouble finding positives to look forward to. Then I got into a fight with my husband because he felt like my moping was insensitive to him, who was unable to be see his father before he died in 2020 due to COVID. It all just sucks.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that sucks. Indoor activities that will be on regular rotation for us over the next three weeks: reading, baking, cookie decorating, watching TV and movies, doing yoga or ballet videos “with” the kids (usually means kids play while I do the video), doing art, puzzles, playing board games, driving to look at holiday lights.
Anon says
A blogger i follow on Instagram also had to cancel her Christmas plans bc at first hubby was positive and then also her and one kid. We are super sick but not Covid and don’t celebrate Christmas but are supposed to have family come visit.
First of all- this sucks a lot and i hope that everyone is ok. Some ideas
– open one Christmas present per day so kiddos have something new ti play with
– do a drive up or delivery order of gingerbread house kits
– bake cookies for Santa and make reindeer treats, you can also make merry Christmas signs etc.
– drive around in your pjs and look at Christmas lights
– your kids sound little but watch holiday specials of their favorite shows
CCLA says
So much yes to your last sentence. I’d plan to go for some drives to look at lights or other scenic drives just to get out of the house and break up the monotony. Outside time if you have a private outdoor space. Also lean into the screen time if that’s something that entertains your kids. We had to quarantine last year right before xmas and did a lot of disney plus. Lots of food delivery.
Unless any of the PCRs have come back positive, there’s a very small chance you’ll be in the clear. Rapid tests do produce some false positives. I wouldn’t necessarily cling to that, but worth keeping in mind as you try to plan the next several days.
Anonymous says
Eff COVID.
GCA says
Oof, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. Eff covid. Here’s hoping no one else gets it!
Neighbors had to quarantine a couple months ago due to a kid testing positive (this was before omicron really spiked, but also before 5-11s were eligible for vaccination) and we got them a bunch of board/ card games and craft kits from Target. Luckily, no one else in the house fell ill. Not sure how old your kids are, but all sorts of water play (pouring, color mixing, giving toy animals ‘baths’) are still a hit with my 3.5yo.
Slight threadjack – what is your family’s approach to isolation? I think that if any family member tests positive we are going to treat our household as a single pod, as we live in 1000sft with one bathroom.
Anon says
So rough. My recs from recent quarantines:
-You can order a giant cardboard castle from Amazon that kids can color in or paint.
-We do a lot of obstacle courses in house or yard and pajama dance parties to keep everyone moving.
-Go for a drive and look at lights
-Craft kits from target
-Bake muffins
-Make treats for the birds — gather some pinecones from your yard, put peanut butter on, and then bird seed over that
-My kid is surprisingly into sorting books, clothes and old toys to give some away to other kids
govtattymom says
I just wanted to thank everyone who shared recommendations on helping my family connect with the religious meaning of the season. Thanks so your suggestions, we read The Christmas Cat and The Miracle of the Poinsettia. We also blared Christmas carols, read from my daughter’s bible, and put up our nativity. I’m participating in an advent devotional distributed by the church we used to attend; we will watch Christmas services through the livestream. Thanks again and Happy Holidays to all!
Anon says
Vent that I feel like others here will appreciate: my kids school does a fundraiser by selling a calendar with pictures of the kids. Each month has a theme and one month the theme is photos of the kids taking care of baby dolls, and the title is “Pretending to be my Mommy :)” Because dads don’t take care of babies!?
Anon says
I’d provide feedback to your daycare on that
Anonymous says
I think I would be even more annoyed by the sale of a calendar that included photos of my kids than by the theme “Pretending to be my Mommy.”
Anon says
You had to consent for your kid to be included so that part didn’t bother me. I’m more cautious about photos on the internet because the internet lasts forever, but these calendars are just going to end up in trash cans within the year.