Accessory Tuesday: Diamond Letter Charm

I’m posting late but like avocado above, I just need to scream a little. I’m in the third trimester with my second baby. It’s been a march of minor health issues the entire time. I’m in pain and exhausted constantly. But at least nothing has been really health-threatening. Got an ultrasound today on a lump in my armpit that my midwife thought was probably just a cyst or typical pregnancy side effect, and instead of the ultrasound revealing that it’s nothing to worry about, now I need to go back for a biopsy. Cue anxiety spiral.

In the middle of all this, my well-meaning stepmother out of the blue texted me a link to a consultant who claims to help women who want to leave legal careers. I have never once told her that I want to leave my legal career, I actually really like my job, I have been pretty happy with my work-life balance lately, and I enjoy making money at something I’m good at. I’m tired of women (it’s always other women) assuming that I must be suffering or hate my job because I work a lot. It makes me feel like people think I’m a bad mom.

I’m taking the kids out of town soon by myself (if everyone can stay healthy…fingers crossed) and DH has offered to do some extra house projects since he won’t have any childcare duties for a week. I’ve asked him to clean out the pantry which has been on my to-do list forever, and to clean our washing machine which is getting kind of gross. Any suggestions for other things he can do? Hands-on stuff is better, he and I both prefer me to manage the stuff that can be done from a computer (finances, vacation planning, holiday cards… things like that).

Talk to me about screen time during the week and weekends for the 3-6 year old area aka not phones or video games just TV.

I have very high energy and intense 3.5 and 5.5 year Olds. My 5.5 has mellowed quite a bit but I think I want to reduce the screen time that they have. It’s all shows on Netflix Disney etc but they have their own Google tablet that they watch in the kitchen table or next to each other on the couch (without headphones). I just feel like it’s taking away the ability for my 5 year old to listen to Audiobooks or do things that are less entertaining. They get about 3 hours in total on weekends and about 1.5 on weekdays (they’re home by 3 and leave home at 830 am). I just feel like it devolves into loud yelling play or fighting so so so often and I don’t know how to have a calm and relaxed household without screen time for more than 5 mins. Is this normal? Maybe my children just have very difficult temperaments. I’m not sure if the TV helps or makes it worse. I do solo parent a lot and need to do things like make dinner etc without breaking up fights constantly or sitting with them to do activities.

I welcome any thoughts on how to have our evenings be more enjoyable without screen time

How many of you with toddlers (2-3 years) are getting a full night of sleep most nights? Are your toddlers sleeping? Did you sleep train? We’re TTC and I only have one close friend nearby who already has a kid and bedtime has turned into a huge ordeal for them with one or both parents lying on the bed with their kid, constantly going in for wake-ups, sleeping with him all night sometimes, etc. It’s straining their marriage a bit. Honestly, it freaks me out (I’m much worse on little sleep than my friend is – if it’s bad for her when she can usually power right through, what’s it going to be like for me), but I know I’m seeing n=1 here. What’s happening with your kids?

My kid absolutely hates sleeping in the bottom of the packnplay, so much that it created long term sleep problems. He is sleeping better in a full crib, but we do have travel planned, including a trip from US to UK (probably flying Virgin). He’ll be about 1.5 years old. WWYD? Cosleeping? Splurge on the Baby Bjorn travel crib?

Is it normal that my 3.5 year old has zero impulse control when he’s tired or hungry? He also has extreme attention seeking behavior when literally anyone else other than mom and dad are around, like he pushes big sister or breaks things, gets really hyper and yells at me etc. He’s much better when no one new is around. It’s all very odd and unlike my older daughter snd I’m not sure if normal.

Yesterday for example, He gets picked up from school at 3 and has a small snack. However, we went to the playground and at 430 he was laughing and playing then tried to push a second grader to go down the slide. I stopped him but it was very stressful he knew he shouldnt do that but did it anyway. He then proceeded to get on his scooter and scoot super fast away from me. He stayed on the sidewalk but there was a point where a car was coming and they wouldn’t have seen him and I yelled so loudly that there was a car to my son. I’m not sure if he would have gone in the street but this running away from me in these types of tired / hungry situations feels like something he should have outgrown by 3.5. Need a gut check here.

I should note we crossed 12 time zones for two weeks and just got back Thursday so he’s still struggling with jetlag too. Still the lack of impulse control and attention seeking behavior is astounding and the same types of things happened on our trip in a much more intense way.