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Not an interview says
Just moved to a new city in the South for my husband’s career. I’ve never spent any time in the region and I don’t know anyone here. I’m on the job hunt and, through some networking at my former firm, have lunch scheduled next week with two VIP partners at one of the big law firms. What do I wear??
I obviously want to impress and will be treating this like a job interview. But since it’s not, in fact, an interview, I worry that a suit will seem too stuffy. I don’t have a job here, so it will be clear that I dressed just for the lunch. My instinct is a semi-conservative dress (not a suiting sheath but nothing too colorful) with a black or maybe white jacket. That’s definitely what I would have worn in a similar situation in Boston, but I really have never spent any time in the South and I don’t know if the expectations are similar. TIA for any advice!
Tennessee says
I’ve lived in the south my entire career. Personally, I would wear a suit or a suit equivalent (suiting-style dress with coordinating blazer), but make sure that I am comfortable taking off the jacket. If it were a smaller firm, I might go a little more casual, but with big law and VIPs, I don’t expect that this would come across stuffy. Good luck!
AIMS says
I like the idea of dress plus suiting blazer. It’s one notch down from full suit technically but still totally respectful and formal.
mascot says
I think a dress/blazer combo is the right call for this. If wearing a colorful dress seems too strong, you can always add color in accessories/shoes. I’m in the South and see color in business wear all the time.
Irish Midori says
Agree. Also, women in the South wear more makeup than other places, and IMO a little bigger jewelry than other places in the US.
Anonymous says
Do you live in the South? While there are plenty of women that do this, you definitely do not need to do this to fit in (in fact, if it’s not your style, please don’t – people will see right through it). I’ve practiced in the South my entire career and you will see the entire gamut.
Irish Midori says
I moved to the south a few years ago, and agree that it’s best to do “you” no matter where you live. Still, I stepped up my makeup game just a nudge after living here a while. Definitely not “full face,” and I keep it natural, but I feel like just a little makeup is kind of part of the uniform where I live, unlike the midwest where I moved from. If you’re coming from NE, my comparison may be off.
Anon says
Also a Bostonian who moved to the South.
I would go for a dress and blazer/jacket.
Anon says
For those of you who potty trained your kids later, did you follow the oh cr*p/pantsless method or no? Seems to me like that method is meant more for kids training on the younger side who don’t recognize their urges. We plan to put DD in underwear this weekend. She already tells us probably 4-5x per day that she needs to go so I’m wondering if we can skip the pantsless mess?
Anon says
Yes, skip. I trained my son on the early side (I think? 2.5) and he wore undies and pants from the start. The keys were going cold turkey (no diapers or pull-ups at all, except for sleeping and very long car trips), keeping a potty nearby so they can get to it quickly (this may just be your bathroom if it’s near the living space; ours was a flight of stairs away) and staying vigilant as the parent to catch their cues and remind them for the first few days-a week. We did do a casual sticker chart, but no other extras like lots of juice or covering the house in drop cloths. It seems like a lot of reminding at the beginning, but stay consistent and she should get it down in a week or two.
Anonymous says
We didn’t do that method. Honestly preschool kind of did it, but we just started using underwear. Our son was 3.5.
Anonymous says
We did it a little before 3. We intended to go pantless, but it really freaked kiddo out. So we did a weekend of running around in underwear. It was a good compromise.
Anonymous says
We trained fairly young (just over 2) and did a weekend of being naked and the main advantage I found was that it was much easier to notice small accidents than when they’re wearing underwear + pants.
Anonymous says
Yes, we just put in undies but otherwise did a weekend similar to that method – tons of juice, constant bathroom trips. Kid peed almost 30x a day for the first couple days! But it was very successful despite wearing underwear.
Ms B says
We used that method at 3.25 over a holiday weekend. We had the toilets outfitted with a kid seat, plus had a small portable potty at hand at a moment’s notice. The in-laws came in for the weekend and between 4 adults, we avoided any major mishaps that did not occur on tile or hardwood. We sent The Kid to school in underpants the following Monday, had two days of accidents, and then we were good for daytime from there on out.
It was another 18 months before The Kid was dry at night more or less full time, but that is a whole other thing.
anon says
Ideas for protein heavy/substantial snack I can give the kid in the car ride home from kindergarten? She’s tired and hungry and I think a snack might help. I pick her up straight after work, so something self stable is best, but I can also put stuff in my office fridge.
Cb says
Could you do a peanut butter or seed butter sandwich?
Anonanonanon says
Those jif cups of peanut butter were a big help for that phase of our life (yes, single-use plastics, but sorry). Packed with graham crackers, apple slices, club crackers, etc.
AwayEmily says
Cheese stick!
anon says
cheese stick?
AwayEmily says
You may already do this but you could also try bringing a water bottle. I thought my kid was starving after school but it turned out she was just kind of dehydrated. I don’t think they always remember to drink at school.
Anon says
+1 My kid is younger and still in daycare, but she seems to drink essentially nothing during the day and is always incredibly thirsty when we pick her up.
mascot says
String cheese? Trail mix? A carton of milk? (solves hunger and thirst). A non-crumbly granola bar?
Anonymous says
+1 for milk. Solves both hunger and thirst without spoiling dinner. You can put it in a Thermos Funtainer in the morning or keep those little shelf-stable milk boxes in your office and chill one in the fridge during the day.
Knope says
Not sure if you’re up for making stuff from scratch, but Minimalist Baker has a ton of “energy bites” recipes that are healthy and quite tasty (some are more labor-intensive than others): https://minimalistbaker.com/?s=bites
SG says
Raisins, not high protein but it keeps them busy getting them out of the box. Also +1 to a water bottle.
I think the Lara Kids are higher in protein, but that’s what we do on road trips.
SC says
An apple always does wonders for my kid when we pick him up from daycare. I realize it’s not high protein, but the combination of water and sugar perks him up, and the fiber holds him over until dinner.
EB0220 says
Zbars or some nuts. My kids love peanut m&ms the best although not the most healthy thing ever.
shortperson says
we have this and my kids are constantly taking it. usually it becomes a zoo for their little animals.
ElisaR says
cute!
we have 2 of them and use them all the time for all the small plastic parts of cups (originally had them for bottle parts)
anon says
Ha, that’s cute!
My kids have been out of bottles and sippy cups for years, but I still use and love this contraption for all sorts of small, random things, like water bottle lids.
Coach Laura says
I have the great-grandma of this from when my kids are little and it still gets used to wash small things so that I don’t have to dig them out of the bottom. My kids are in their 20s. :)
Ms B says
We had two of these, plus a larger model from the River S*te. Essential for birth through age five.
Anon says
Second baby gifts? My best friend is 8 months pregnant with her second. I showered her with a zillion gifts during her first pregnancy, because I was childless and none of my friends had kids. Now I have a toddler of my own and have bought baby gifts for everyone in my circle and I just haven’t been as motivated to buy stuff for her this go round. I think she understands but I still feel guilty about it. I’d like to buy the baby something really nice (maybe monogrammed?) once she’s born, but have no idea what to get. Budget is up to $200.
Anon says
We received a personalized restoration hardware blanket for my #2. Silky on one side and velvety soft on the other. Never would have bought it for myself but we adored it for tummy time and snuggling.
ElisaR says
i like the personalized stuff because the first baby’s existence means a lot of the standard stuff has been covered. I like embroidered towels, the books that are printed with the baby’s name worked into the pages, the name stool that is a puzzle, the name magnetic train.
personally, have more blankets than I could ever use. it was a very common gift in my circle…. i can’t get rid of them bc many are personalized.
GCA says
Monogrammed lovey blanket or something else that is baby’s own thing, seasonally appropriate clothing if the kids are off-season in age, personalized stainless steel sippy cup (will be in use for several years, unlike clothing), splurge-type outfit for cute springtime family photos that the parents wouldn’t buy themselves…
Anonymous says
I’m a broken record, but bath towels and washcloths were my most needed replacement item for the second kid.
shortperson says
i like to go with nursery decor. ask her about her theme. also pbk or rh hooded bath towels. these were the only things we needed for #2, other than a new car.
anon says
It doesn’t come within your price range, but I needed new lift the flap books for number 2. My first had done a number on the flaps for the books that we already had.
AwayEmily says
+1 on this! And now they make these cool lift the flap books that have felt flaps and they are much harder to tear apart. Actually, new board books in general were very welcome — I was SO sick of the same ones after having just finished with them with kid #1.
Anon says
I’m open to getting an assortment of smaller things. I mainly just don’t want to get disposables or something incredibly boring but practical. I might do a monogrammed blanket or lovey in the $100 price range and then some board books and dresses (first baby was a boy and I know my friend is excited for more girly clothes). Thanks everyone!
shortperson says
i would also get the first gifts. i usually get older siblings, especially boys, a doll ergo and a doll diaper kit on etsy. check out the sellers meandmycraftymom and loops for littles. i also appreciated coordinating outfits.
AwayEmily says
Yes! I would have loved new clothes for my #2 — in particular, nice stuff I wouldn’t buy for myself (Hanna, Boden) in larger sizes that they’d actually wear for awhile (like 2T or 3T).
NYCer says
I received a monogrammed L.L. Bean tote bag (for my baby girl, not me) and it was honestly one of my favorite gifts. Very versatile, can use at various ages, etc.
Ms B says
Damhorst Toys puzzle name stool, with engraved plate underneath. Always a hit!
Woof! says
Just whining briefly. I’m 10 weeks today and “morning sickness” seems to be mostly manifesting itself as horrific headaches. I imagine it’s because of the increased blood volume, but it’s so intense and distracting. End rant.
Irish Midori says
Ouch! That really stinks.
Anon says
I’m sorry! If you haven’t already, call your OB and ask what you can take. I think you’re not supposed to take Advil? But my OB was fine with Tylenol and moderate amounts of caffeine, both of which can help headaches a lot.
Anonymous says
+1 to the Tylenol. I was against taking it for headaches at first, because I am so loyal to Advil and it works better for me. But the Tylenol actually really did help a lot on headache days.
ElisaR says
WATER!!
and feel better…. it’s such a rough time.
rosie says
Stay hydrated — water, coconut water, sports drinks (I like some of the WF brand flavors). Caffeine — black tea with sugar & milk is a big pick-me-up these days, I think sometimes I need the little sugar kick as well especially if I haven’t eaten much. Tylenol.
anon. says
Are these just severe headaches or migraines? If you think it may be migraines, tell your doctor ASAP. I have migraines and had extremely severe ones during my first trimester. My doctor told me to start taking magnesium supplements and it has made an enormous difference in the frequency of my migraines and greatly increased my quality of life!
Pogo says
ugh, yeah. I had these. Magnesium didn’t help much for me, but Tylenol + caffeine + dark room and rest did. It is so tough being at that point where you can’t tell people but you’re miserable. Hugs.
anon. says
Yes – my doctor suggested magnesium, which helped, and very large mugs of coffee.
Anonymous says
Also could be low blood sugar! Try to keep crackers on hand.
Woof! says
Thanks, all, it’s so nice of you to indulge my whining and provide helpful suggestions! Trying to remember that my body is working overtime and I need to drink a lot more water and eat a lot more frequently than usual. I appreciate all of the great suggestions!
Lyssa says
I got headaches and dizziness instead of nausea, too. Mine were probably sinus-related, and I found the best things were a combo of sudefed and tylenol. Also, nasal irrigation seemed to help, as did smelling something methol-y (vicks vaper rub).
rosie says
FYI I believe sudafed is not recommended in first tri, so check with your OB.
Buddy Holly says
If you try everything and still are looking for solutions, you may want to consider going to an acupuncturist. Choose one that is used to working with pregnant women–ask around with doulas or anyone in the natural health crowd in your city to get a good referral. Sorry you are going through this, sounds painful.
changing obgyn mid pregnancy says
I’m about 25 weeks pregnant with my second child. I’m 40 yo but so far everything has been pretty standard with this pregnancy, no complications, just like last time (fingers crossed it stays that way!). I’m also pretty new to my city and I choose my Obgyn based on the fact that her practice was in the same medical group as my 3 year old’s pediatrician and it was convenient. So far, I like her a lot and have had a good experience with her and the staff. however, as i’ve gotten to know more moms in the area, I’m hearing bad things about the hospital my obgyn is affiliated with–run down, old equipment, generally not nice or state of the art. I haven’t set up a tour yet, but this is of course giving me pause. These same moms, some of who have given birth in the last year, have been recommending another hospital that is a much nicer, newer, up to date facility, that also happens to be closer to where I live and work. One of the practice doctors has come highly recommended from several people and I’m waiting to see if she’ll accept me at this late stage in my pregnancy. My insurance would cover it, so that’s not an issue, but is it weird to change doctors this late in the game? Has anyone else done this? Thanks for any advice!
Irish Midori says
No advice, but commiseration. I’m about the same spot as you in pregnancy, and like my doctor, but the hospital he delivers at just shut down their NICU. Hopefully not a big deal, but my last baby unexpectedly had to go to the NICU, so I’m a little anxious about it and wondering if I should switch or just stay put for now. Obvs, if something high risk pops up, he’ll refer me, but both of my other kids had unexpected complications that emerged hours before delivery.
AwayEmily says
I switched at around 25 weeks — I moved to a new place, found an OB that was recommended, had two appointments with them, really disliked them, and so I switched to different practice. It was not a big deal at all (I was 38 at the time and it was my second pregnancy). I imagine maybe it would have been more stressful if it was my first but everyone was very chill about it.
Anon says
Is it just that the hospital is old or is it an issue with outcomes there? If you truly like your practice but it’s just a less fancy hospital that seems like a weird reason to switch. FWIW,I delivered at the dumpiest hospital in our city but it’s also the best NICU in town and considered the best hospital in town.
Anon says
+1 . Hospitals should have stats on outcomes that are publicly available. If the outcomes are not worse, I wouldn’t switch. Also, older hospitals are (I think) more likely to have private rooms, so that’s something else to consider.
anon. says
Agree with this. I am *obsessed* with my wonderful OBGYN (also 40 and second pregnancy) and unless there are bad outcomes, I’d stay with the person you like.
anon says
Ask the OB what she thinks about the hospital. I switched practices at 29 weeks. I was a bit apprehensive, but it was a great decision for me, especially because I wasn’t in love with my first practice.
changing obgyn mid pregnancy says
thanks for everyone’s replies! As far as my current doctor, I like her but I’ve only been seeing her since I got pregnant so it’s not like I’m attached. And the one i’m considering switching to comes highly recommended by people I know so I’m pretty sure she would be just as good. Thanks for the suggestion to look up hospital stats, that wouldn’t have occurred to me. How would I find that, just searching the name of the hospital plus “stats”?
anon says
Check on the health outcomes at both hospitals. I loved my OB and stayed with her, despite her practice being affiliated with the older hospital. There are 2 other, more popular hospitals for labor and delivery in my area. One has state-of-the-art everything, with great amenities (beds for dads, free on-demand room service, gigantic recovery rooms). The health outcomes at the older hospital where I gave birth are MUCH better than those at the other two, which are pretty scary. Also, the hospital where I gave birth has a great NICU, which we suspected might be necessary but ultimately wasn’t.
So, I had amazing nursing care during delivery, and my baby, who was a preemie, had amazing care immediately after delivery. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, so I’m very grateful. Also, the nurse stayed with me pretty much the whole time (my entire labor was only 4 hours) and told me what to do, which was great, and necessary because we hadn’t attended any birthing classes.
I also made 2 “extra” trips to the hospital before birth for pre-term contractions. The first time, they monitored me for about an hour, and it was probably false labor, but the nurses took me seriously and were very kind and told me I had done the right thing by going in. The second time, it was not false labor, and again, I received great care, and the nurses gave me a shot of Terbutaline (with orders from my OB) and stopped labor at around 30 weeks.
I’m not going to lie though–the fact that the hospital was older and more “old school” in providing services affected quality of life for the 2 days I was in the hospital. Meals were served on a strict schedule, 7:30, 12:30, and 5:30–which meant that nursing mothers who are up all night went 14 hours between meals unless someone brought second dinner to the room! Worse, even though I gave birth at 2, they didn’t move me to a recovery room until 6, at which point I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours AND I had missed dinner. (Fortunately, my parents were in town visiting for my baby shower and brought me dinner, but man, I was hangry.) The recovery room was small and felt crowded whenever anyone visited, and I had (and wanted) a lot of visitors. The nurses woke me up every 2 hours to do something that could have waited until morning, and they seemed to be on the opposite schedule as the baby, so I was up every hour, or basically all night. There was no place for my husband to sleep really, which mattered to him more than it did to me. There was also no food for my husband, so he was either relying on family members bringing him food or going to the cafeteria, which took 30-45 minutes. I KNOW none of this matters compared to having a bad outcome, but once you have a healthy baby, it feels like it matters.
Anon says
Not the OP but have a follow up question – how do you check the outcomes for a hospital? Do you have to request them from somewhere or is it online? I searched but nothing is coming up…
pregnant anon says
I’m very newly pregnant with my second (5 weeks) and was not planning on telling anyone until I’m 12 weeks plus if I can get away with it. Last time, I told my job at 14 weeks. I work at a smallish law firm – 4 partners, 12 attorneys plus staff. I have been told that I will be making partner in early October. It wasn’t such a shock – the managing partner with whom I work most closely has been telling me for the past few months that she was pushing for this and that the other partners were aware and on board. Yesterday, she told me that that have scheduled a meeting with all the partners to review and discuss once everyone returns from vacations (they all take staggered long vacations this time of year) and that they expected to make the announcement in early October. My question – do I disclose this pregnancy before they decide / announce? The MP that I work for is about to leave the country for 2 weeks so I thought I had more time before anyone would notice or need to know (not sure how much I’ll show with this one). My firm is relatively new – I was the first person to ever have a child here and they gave me 12 weeks paid time off, a big raise upon my return, and we’ve had a bit of a baby boom since with babies being born to attorneys and staff but this is unchartered territory for me. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this? I don’t want to ruin my chances at partnership, but I also don’t want to come off as hiding something from my soon to be “partners”. Help!
Anon says
I would wait. You’re not hiding something you would ordinarily have disclosed, you’re just waiting until the time you would ordinarily announce. Nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous says
Absolutely not. You wait and get your promotion that you earned.
Anonymous says
Don’t announce until after you get partner. You’ll be just 12 weeks in early October so waiting until then is more or less the norm anyway, and really, really, even if you like your partners and don’t think a pregnancy (and second kid) would sway their thinking about making you partner I wouldn’t want to test that theory.
Anon says
I went through this earlier this year but with a bigger firm. I waited until about 2 weeks after the announcement (I think by then I was 15 weeks) before telling.
rosie says
I agree with other commenters that you don’t owe them any information beforehand, but genuine question — how will your maternity leave work? Aren’t you in a better position to negotiate that before you accept the offer to join the partnership? So seems like you’d want to tell after they announce but before you actually become a partner so you can work out mat leave. Or do others disagree? (I realize maybe this is a slightly different question from what you asked.)
Anonymous says
I have mixed feelings. I think you need to find a way to research (if you don’t already know) maternity benefits for associates vs. partners. In my firm, associates have much better maternity benefits than partners. Associates who are pregnant at the time partnership is announced usually choose to delay one year to reap the associate maternity benefits.
pregnant anon says
These are really important considerations – thank you! Unfortunately, I don’t know how I’d research this without raising any flags – we are less than 50 employees total and have a 1 person HR department. I suspect that there is no policy about this. 3 partners formed this firm about 6 years ago and there has been one (non-equity) partner named since and her children are long grown. Before I was pregnant the last time, they didn’t have a leave policy in place. I suspect I’ll be the guinea pig this time around, too. Maybe I should follow the advice to bring it up and negotiate the leave before partnership becomes official. Something along the lines of I’m honored and would be thrilled to accept, provided my leave and benefits aren’t affected. And if they would be, I will defer until after my leave (assuming they’d still offer it to me at that point). Thoughts?
rosie says
How much do you know about how partner comp works in general? Do you understand how you complicated it would be to get out of the partnership? Do you know how your health insurance costs might be impacted by becoming a partner? It just seems like if you signed the partnership agreement without any info about maternity leave, you need to be prepared to get no paid leave & potentially be paying a lot more for your health insurance if the firm doesn’t pay a portion for partners. Mat leave for associates strikes me as potentially pretty different from mat leave for partners. Going from valued associate to newest partner doesn’t seem like the best place to be negotiating from.
10:58 Anon says
Agreed with this. At my firm, associates have a real maternity leave. Partners are given 4 weeks with no overhead. Anything more and not only are you not paid, but you’re paying overhead to not work. These are important things to consider. I don’t see any reason to tell anyone before you’re offered partnership. But at that time, you need to research the issue, similar to how you’d make lifestyle type negotiations after you receive a job offer. Law partners generally view employee (associate) benefits completely different from essentially funding a partner to not work for a typical maternity leave length of time. I’d highly advise you not to change your position until you’ve analyzed all of this.
Ms B says
+1 to 10:58. The plus of my partner “maternity leave” was that I got decent discretion to decide how long I was going to be out and to what degree . . . which equated to how many hours would NOT be credited to me at compensation time. I ended up being able to be out three weeks full time, followed by about 10 weeks where I worked in the office three mornings a week and then billed 60-70 hours a month, and then an additional ramp up for another month as we transitioned to day care. Good for flexibility, terrible for my compensation that year. And remember, billings paid can lag, so my origination numbers were down for a decent chunk of the following year.
Irish Midori says
Yeah, I was thinking this too. Also, it can be a know your culture thing, but I felt like being up front about that stuff built some trust that was appreciated in my small firm. I was worried about pregnancy being a liability, but I work at a great place with great people, and the response was “Congrats! How do we make this work?” It was a huge relief.
pregnant anon says
Interesting! If I may ask – What was the timing of you telling them relative to everything else?
Irish Midori says
I am up for partner, and had to tell my managing partner early (like 8 weeks) because we were scheduling a major trial the week of my due date! He was totally great about it, and said to just submit my business plan and partnership application anyway and we’ll figure it out. I honestly don’t think it will affect my chances, but I also think if I don’t go partner this year, that may actually work better for me because the first year after the jump is very stressful (at least in a small firm where it’s more “eat what you kill”), and I may rather put it off another year by choice.
SC says
Absolutely do not announce until after the partnership decision is official and public.
pregnant anon says
Very helpful all around and exactly the thoughtful responses I was looking for, ladies. Thank you! Has anyone actually been offered partnership but turned it down? Or deferred until a later time? Candidly, my inner ambitious self wants to be partner, especially because it’s always been a goal. BUT the rest of me who has a growing family and is not the breadwinner would be perfectly content to remain as senior associate for the near future, as the thought of taking on all the “extras” that come with partnership just doesn’t feel like it’s how I want to be spending my time right now. I guess I also want to know – is it OK to decline or put this off? And If so, how would I do that? My prior self would be screaming at my current self for even asking this question, but gah.
Ms B says
I can’t answer this one; I already had been a partner for a number of years before The Kid came along. What I can tell you is that I found that The Kid fundamentally changed my relationship with my firm and with how many (but not all) of my partners viewed me – and not in what I considered (or consider) a positive way. I was not the first female partner to have a child at my firm – although I was the last to date – but none of us were treated fairly. Just FYI.
AwayEmily says
Yesterday’s discussion of TV shows got me thinking…any recommendations for light/funny TV? Along the lines of Brooklyn 99 or Parks and Rec. I feel like so much TV these days is good but really heavy, which is sometimes not what I need after a long day. Even Fleabag, which is quite funny, is also so dark.
Anonymous says
Hallmark movies are basically the only thing I watch…
avocado says
I love I’m Sorry. It is definitely cringeworthy, but light and funny and oddly relatable even though I am not a comedy writer who lives in a fancy house in L.A. with her lawyer husband who never seems to work late.
rosie says
Good Place! The topic (afterlife) is dark but it’s a very well-done comedy (and B99, Parks, Good Place are all Mike Schur — I’m into all of these shows, but not the Office).
Buddy Holly says
+1 on the Good Place! Such good fun.
FVNC says
I’m finally watching Schitts Creek after seeing it recommended many times on the main s i t e. I’m enjoying the second and third seasons more than the first.
Anon says
+1
Anon says
+2
Mrs. Jones says
I could not love Schitts Creek more than I do. It’s delightful.
Anon says
Younger & The Bold Type!
Anonymous says
Hart of Dixie! Same vibe as Gilmore Girls. Also Brooklyn 99.
anon says
Schitt’s Creek is often recced but definitely in that vein if you haven’t watched it yet. I also really like light procedurals (Psych, Murder She Wrote). Superstore is generally light and funny but it can get QUITE dark for a few episodes.
Anon says
I wouldn’t call Superstore dark at all. It handles current events and politically-charged topics like immigration and healthcare, but the tone is very light and funny.
Anonymous says
Derry Girls!!
CPA Lady says
I’ve been watching The Disastrous Life of Saiki K on Netflix. It’s an anime (not something I usually watch) about a high-school boy with psychic powers who gets into all kinds of ridiculous situations. It’s hilarious and quirky and I really love it.
qcgc says
The mindy project, Schitts creek
ElisaR says
not the OP but man i guess schitts creek is next on my list ladies!
Anon says
Great News! And Gilmore Girls reruns on repeat.
lsw says
Schitt’s Creek for sure. I have no idea if this is your style, but I love MST3K. Also, totally enjoying Grand Hotel (not a comedy, but a classic nighttime soap vibe!).
Ms B says
Kimmy Schmidt.
Anonymous says
Hoping it isn’t too late in the day for this. We are hiring a short-term nanny (2-3 months) while our daycare is unexpectedly closed for some building repairs. During this time we will be going on vacation for a week. What would you all do re: nanny payment during that time? If she were a long-term nanny I would definitely figure we needed to pay her, and am leaning toward that being the right thing to do here too, I just am struggling with the cost of it in the scheme of how long we need her.
Anon says
If it’s negotiated up front as part of her contract, I think it’s fine to not pay her. You just don’t want to hire her without mentioning it, and then say “oh guess what we’re going on vacation and won’t be paying you this week.” I did something similar when I hired a nanny for ~5 months. We also didn’t pay her for a week of vacation she took.
Anonymous says
Thanks! We are about to make the offer so I want to be clear up front with what we’re offering for that week. So anything is game at this point, and I suppose she could counter-offer but I would be surprised if she did.
Simone says
Maybe do a compromise and offer to pay her half of the normal rate for the week you are on vacation, so you aren’t taking as big of a financial hit, but you aren’t leaving her with as much of an income drop either?
Anon says
I think paying for the one week is the right thing to do. Both because it’s hard for a nanny to find a one week gig to fill in the gap and as a retention strategy—you want her to feel valued so she doesn’t leave half way through the gig.
RR says
We pay our nanny when we are on vacation, but I think you could negotiate whatever you wanted as long as you are clear. We were gone for two weeks right after we hired her, and I thought she probably wouldn’t want to take the job if she was out two weeks of summer pay (she’s full time in the summer and part time in the school year).
Anonforthis says
Mostly just looking for sympathy since I can’t share w anyone IRL. My period is a week late and I got positive pregnancy test over the weekend. We were delighted, if a little overwhelmed, as we have a 9 month old. I’ve become really excited about the idea of babies so close in age. The lines on the tests were super faint, and I’ve retested since and they seem to be getting lighter. So I braced myself for loss. Last evening I started spotting and cramping and expected that was “it,” but haven’t had any bleeding all night or day. So now I’m back to getting my hopes up. It’s so hard to concentrate at work – if I’m going to MC, I hope it is just over soon. Anyone been through this? I should start bleeding in earnest soon right?
Anon says
I am so sorry you are going through this. If it were me, I would go to the OB and see if they can test HCG levels via a blood test, which should give you a clearer picture (but, you may not be able to get results for a day or so–it depends on the lab). I had a MC about two months ago, and when I first started bleeding, my OB’s office told me that spotting in the 1st trimester is common and told me not to come in. I stressed about it so much all day, and ended up having to take the day off of work, and I wish I had just gone in and gotten my HCG tested right then (rather than at the ER later, which is what ended up happening). The not knowing part of it all was the absolute worst, so I am so sorry you are going through that right now. I really hope this ends up OK for you!
Irish Midori says
+1 see if your OB will do an HCG test. I had bleeding around 6-7 weeks too, and they tested. It all cleared up and I’m 24 weeks in now, but it was torture not to know then. At least if it had continued I’d have had a baseline HCG level to be able to tell better what was going on. Hugs to you. That’s so hard.
Anonymous says
+1, but know that for an HCG test to be informative, you need two. So you’d have the first one, then another one 2-3 days later. What is meaningful about an HCG level is the doubling-rate (i.e., how quickly it increases) in the early days of pregnancy. A single measurement won’t tell you much. So you may still be waiting to hear for a little while I’m sorry to say. Sending you good vibes to get through the next few days. I know how hard it is to wait for those results and it’s so stressful.