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This Skin to Skin top by Seraphine is giving me allll the feels right now. My absolute favorite thing about having a newborn (TBH, those things were few and far between, as I was not a fan of the newborn stage) was when my son would sleep on my chest. I loved his little baby snores, the smell of his fuzzy head, and the fact that I couldn’t do anything but lie there. I actually like how this looks even without the baby inside; it looks like a stretchy wrap top. This top is $69, is machine washable, and is available in sizes XS–XL. Cotton Skin to Skin Top This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.28.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
So Anon says
My boss has a college-aged daughter who has offered to babysit for me on the weekends. I am all about taking all of the help that I can get, but is it weird to have my boss’s daughter babysit my kids?
Anonymous says
I don’t think so. I’d pay her the going rate for the area.
Anonymous says
It depends on your relationship with your boss. I regularly babysat the kids of one of my dad’s law firm partners throughout high school but their practices were relatively separate, they got along well, I was reliable, and the kids were good so there were never issues on the work side or the babysitting side. I’d avoid unless you have a solid relationship with your boss. If you don’t take the offer up, be careful about complaining about not having a babysitter to colleagues around the water cooler as it could get back to boss who may be offended.
FVNC says
I don’t think it’s weird. We’ve done this before (daughters of both my and my husband’s bosses have babysat and/or house-sat for us), and it’s worked out really well. Just be prepared to be diplomatic if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, and if possible maintain a separate “relationship” with the sitter — i.e., if you can, call or text directly with the sitter rather than going through your boss.
ElisaR says
I don’t think it’s weird – i’d be psyched to get a babysitter you can trust!
AIMS says
We have a babysitter that’s the daughter of one of our old bosses, so not entirely the same, but it’s not weird at all. It’s actually kind of awesome because we know her family and trust her in a way we probably wouldn’t right away if we just met her randomly. The only ‘weird’ part I guess was that I felt like I had to have a cleaner house when she came started coming over initially but that quickly passed.
anon says
No, I don’t think it sounds weird.
anon says
Last summer my firm’s president’s daughter started to babysit for us occasionally and she still is this summer (though now I’m a partner so he’s less clearly my boss). It’s not weird at all for us.
That being said, a daughter of a secretary has also babysat for us and she’s great too but I came home one night after having a few drinks and haven’t heard the end of it from said secretary. But that’s my fault.
lsw says
My nearly 3 year old has had some sort of terrible stomach bug since Friday. His whole daycare was knocked down. He’s STILL having diarrhea today and they request two days symptom free before we send him back. Our ped just told me he could have diarrhea for two weeks. Please remind me we’ll get through this.
Pogo says
TWO WEEKS?! Goodness. I hope for your sake that is not the case.
lsw says
Me too. The nurse said it on the phone this morning and I could have cried.
Anonymous says
I think two weeks is an upper limit. Like, the nurse is telling you “your son could have diarrhea for up to two weeks before we would determine it’s not from the stomach bug and do additional testing. ” Children do not typically have diarrhea from a viral stomach bug for anywhere near that long.
lsw says
Thanks for the reality check. This is the first time my son has had a stomach bug more than 12 hours so I’m kind of at a loss!
Anonymous says
+1 it is a shock when they have it for many days but my DD has had stomach bugs for 5-6 days before. But she was still drinking and eating the entire time so she didn’t need to be seen. Just has to run it’s course.
FVNC says
Oof, that’s horrible — for you and your son! In a similar situation (HFM, out of daycare for a week), the only silver lining for us was that it forced us to find backup care options, and from that one-week scramble (which was incredibly stressful), we managed to build a pretty solid roster of sitters that we’ve used for the past couple years. Good luck, and I hope he’s better soon!
lsw says
That is a decent silver lining!
Lilyput says
Question for you? How many sitters do you have on your roster? I am struggling to find help. I have a wedding to go to this Saturday and everyone I have contacted through care.com is booked. And I have been looking for a month already….
FVNC says
We currently live in a college town, so that definitely helps. At one time we had six or seven sitters we could reach out to. Ask me in a month when we relocate to a non-college town, and I’ll definitely have a different story! Do you have a child in daycare? You could ask the teachers there, or ask if they can recommend anyone. Or, per the thread above — could you ask around at work to see if anyone there is willing to help out for a night, or has an older kid who could help? If it’s a one-off, special occasion (wedding!), people will be more willing to pitch in, I would bet.
FVNC says
Sorry, one more idea — could you contact a guidance counselor at a high school to see if they could connect you with any juniors or seniors who are looking to babysit? (Not sure if school is still in session where you are.) Or if you have any local colleges, try specific schools within the college — nursing school, education school — they often have specific job boards for their students. I’ve also seen sitter posts on NextDoor, if that’s something you use for your neighborhood.
shortperson says
for this emergency i would use a nanny service. like a local “college nannies and tutors” location. and then build up other sitters. we have about 5 we can call.
Anonymous says
Any strategies for reminding myself that my pregnant friends aren’t making (and discussing) their different choices AT me? I am pregnant, and two of my medium-close friends are similarly far along in their pregnancies. We got together this weekend and they both discussed how they don’t want epidurals, aren’t having showers, are avoiding fluoride, etc. etc. (i.e. making choices different from my choice). I respect their choices and did not say anything other than a vague “these are very personal choices” but I could not help feeling a little attacked. They were fine and weren’t actually being mean, I’m just being sensitive but it’s still bugging me.
Anonymous says
They really aren’t. There are 50 bajillion different ways to do modern parenting. I did no epidural, yes to a shower and yes to fluoride. My BFF was into hardcore CIO and I was anti-CIO. We just didn’t discuss it. You don’t have to agree on everything. BFF and I have also made different choices in other areas.
If they turn into anti-vaxxers I’d probably change my mind. I’d say there is a higher than zero risk of this as the anti-fluoride crowd leans anti-vaxx. But as long as they are not actively harmful/risky to your kid or giving you a hard time about your own choices, it’s a pretty normal situation.
ElisaR says
get ready and get a thick skin because this will happen for the rest of your life now that you’re a mom (mom-to-be).
Spirograph says
Anti-fluoride is a thing? So do they not drink tap water for their entire pregnancy? That sounds… very unnecessary given that fluoride has been in drinking water for decades. I feel like we would know by now if it were a teratogen.
But yes, there are a million ways to be a good parent. You do you and just nod and smile when people make different (non-harmful) choices.
Anonymous says
Yeah and I think all the chemicals leaching into the water from plastic water bottles are probably not great for you either. I’m really not convinced that bottled water would be a healthier choice, even setting aside the financial and lifestyle costs of avoiding tap water.
Anonymous says
So much this.
Anonymous says
Anti-fluoride is a thing. Not just during pregnancy. They don’t use fluoride toothpaste for themselves or their kids either. Not sure what they do about water if their city fluoridates as seems like they should also be anti-bottled water if they are so ‘natural’ about stuff. Sigh, sometimes the internet is the worst thing for public health.
anon says
Yeah, this is crazypants. I still remember my mom adding fluoride drops to our water because we had well water, not city water that contained fluoride. The generations that grew up without fluoride have fared far worse, in terms of dental health, than people our age. Maybe I’m being dense, but this doesn’t make much sense to me. I also don’t even understand how you’d avoid fluoride since even tiny villages have fluoride in the water nowadays.
Anonymous says
Yes, my mom has a couple gold teeth and always says it’s because there was no fluoride her water as a kid. I lived in a country that does not fluoridate for a couple years, and specifically bought fluoride rinse because I like my teeth.
I’m way too cheap to buy bottled water, environmental impact aside (although that is also important to me).
Anon in NYC says
Yep. There is a wellness instagrammer or two that I follow that have Berkey water filters and there is a filter for fluoride. I don’t know why they’d want to filter out fluoride since fluoride seems like a net positive, but there ya go.
Anonymous says
My tap water growing up was never fluoridated. Not all public water systems fluoridate their water, unfortunately . Now I live in an area where everyone has wells so still no fluoride.
Pogo says
What?!?! This is a new one to me. And I am someone who has fluoride stains on my teeth from childhood, so you’d think I’d be opposed to it. But Science tells me it’s good for you in the right amounts. My guess is that my parents didn’t monitor closely enough when we moved and maybe kept giving me fluoride pills after we lived somewhere with fluoride in the water – we moved a lot when I was under age 6. My ped now mentioned for us to watch out for the white spots on his teeth and stop fluoride if we saw any or when he started drinking tap water.
Other than spots on your teeth is there supposed to be some terrible side effect?
Anonymous says
The usual fear mongering about cancer/autism/chemicals/neurotoxins etc.
Anon Lawyer says
I live in Portland, Oregon and we actually voted down fluoridating our water a couple of years ago. There was SO much fear-mongering about “chemicals in the water!!!1!” and all sorts of made-up health effects. It was ridiculously anti-science.
Anonymous says
Make your mantra: My kid, my choice. Their kid, their choice. That’s how I made it through many discussions about why my child was formula fed.
Trust yourself (and your partner) to make the right choices for your own kid and let others make theirs. Although I agree with the poster-above that I’d avoid people whose choices endangered my own kid.
AIMS says
I find it helpful to try to reverse the situation in my mind. There are probably choices you’re making/will make that may make someone feel the same way and you’re giving zero judgmental thought in making any of these.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I try to remind myself to step out of the weeds of day-to-day decisions and look at the big picture of parenting – what am I trying to do here? It’s to raise kids that can hopefully form good relationships with others and be productive members of society. Things like b-feeding, formula feeding, screens, epidurals, etc. (within reason) probably don’t matter one way or the other for that broad goal. I like to think that others are trying to do the same and are doing the best they can. If they start to judge, then I step away and find more supportive networks.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand being so passive. “I’m having an epidural and I can’t wait, and I think fluoride is awesome! Can we talk about something else, because it feels like you’re putting down my choices and I don’t like it.”
Anonymous says
But it sounds like they are objectively not putting down her choices – they are just talking about their own choices, and OP is feeling defensive for her own reasons. (I also have this problem so not criticizing OP).
Anonymous says
It doesn’t get easier in my experience – the parenting debates (formula vs breastfed, CIO vs not, daycare vs nanny vs SAHM) are way more intense than epidural vs no epidural. I’m going through this now with a couple of close friends and it’s hard. I think I’m probably overly sensitive but I feel more comfortable with friends who are making similar choices to me or at least openly supportive of my choices.
AwayEmily says
Lots of good advice already and also — if you can find another mom who DOES make similar choices to you, it can be a really great thing. I have a friend with a kid a year older and we have extraordinarily similar approaches to parenting, and so when stuff like this happens (Recent example someone said to me: “Oh, you let your toddler watch Daniel Tiger? Mine prefers to do more creative activities.” GIANT EYEROLL), I can decompress by complaining to her about it.
Anyway, all the advice above is probably healthier than my approach, but still, having an eyeroll partner is the best.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Love this. My husband is my biggest eyeroll partner. Also most everyone on here.
Spirograp says
Eyeroll partners are so key. One of my favorite friends has older kids (post-high school) from her previous marriage, in addition to a couple that are close to my kids’ ages. Between her initial parenting experience being half a generation less intense than parenting seems to be today, and her knowledge that so much of this doesn’t really on a longer timeline, I love her perspective.
OP says
Thanks, all! I like the idea of having an eyeroll partner (probably my husband, who already thinks these friends are a bit kooky), and to going to different friends for different things.
Pogo says
+1 and also their tune might change after they have a child. My SIL (who I love dearly) is very crunchy and was so pro-BF, natural birth, attachment parenting etc prior to her first kiddo. Even with her first she stuck to her guns on making her own all organic baby food and never letting him have sweets or watch TV…. for a time.
8 years later: each kid has an iPad, they eat junk food in moderation, she has been known to put them in a time out, etc. Parenting is hard, and most people don’t make the perfect Pinterest-y choices forever.
Anonymous says
Yes! Also it’s wonderful to say you won’t want an epidural before going through labor, but many many people change their mind when they’re in labor. And I’m a pro-Unmedicated birth person! My sister was also all glass bottles/breastfeeding/cloth diapers/no tv and changed her tune FAST. Everyone’s parenting evolves over the years. DH and I are much more attachment parents than we ever anticipated, more into breastfeeding and babywearing than we expected…
Pogo says
Yes, like me, 15 hours in – I changed my mind about that epidural real fast.
Anonymous says
+1 they are not making the choices at you. I also have found that the people who make the “less crunchy” parenting choices often feel unnecessarily attacked by those making the “crunchy” parenting choices. But me and my best friend have pretty opposite opinions on this stuff (excluding vaccines and fluoride which we both agree are the miracles of modern medicine), and we just don’t talk about it and/or we support each other’s choices. I breastfed over a year and she wanted to do formula from day one, and I said go for it! Or she k
anon says
You definitely need an eyeroll partner! But also know that no one, not even your spouse, is going to agree with you on every single parenting decision there is. What’s been critical for me is having a few different people I can go to for different aspects of life as a parent. For example, my good friend from college drove me nuts waxing on and on about how most c-sections were unnecessary shortly after I delivered via c-section. But now that we both have toddlers she’s my go-to for talk about how to continue to have professional aspirations with kids.
shortperson says
you may find yourself being less close with them as babies are born and the kookiness multiplies.
EB says
I like the stuff about the eyeroll partner above, but also would suggest seeing what you can do to look at why you feel so sensitive about this stuff? It’s ok to talk with others about your personal choices with respect to epidurals, fluoride (that one is a bit weird, but to each their own), etc. etc. and provide you don’t do it in a mean way (which you said they didn’t), it is just sharing your plans and experiences. I enjoyed talking to my more crunchy friends about their birth and glass bottle/stainless steel only plans even though I did not have the same plans for myself. If you come at it from the perspective of we are all doing our best, it’s not a competition, and what is best for me isn’t necessarily best for others, I think you might find that it doesn’t have to be a stressful thing, or something that changes your relationship with these women. Also, they might be helpful in the future – my crunchy friend mentioned above helped me a ton when I needed to pick out a goat milk formula for my son because she had already done a ton of research.
Redux says
Picking up on a comment from yesterday, can we talk about the trade-offs of work-life balance? People talk about it like the fact of work-life balance is the ultimate goal, but for me having a job with good work-life balance has meant losing a lot of what I like about my career: highly challenging work, prestigious and important roles, and good pay. Sure I get home at a reasonable hour and rarely work on the weekends, but y’all I am BORED. So for those of you with “good” work-life balance, do you feel like you’ve traded away other aspects of yourself or your career? How do you make up for those trades? Have any of you left the work-life balance behind in favor of other opportunities?
Anonymous says
I take the long view on balance. My kids are now all in elementary school. So in about ten years they will either be finishing high school or in college. I’m okay with being ‘bored’ sometimes now because I realize that my career is long but childhood is short and I can lean in hard later.
That’s the right balance for me. Balance means different things for different people. For my sister’s is working 60 hrs a week at a job she’s rocking even though she often works on weekends because she struggled early in her career and she loves have a stable job to lean into. There’s no right or wrong, but there is a lot of trial and error to find what works for you.
Redux says
And here is my real life would-you-rather:
In my current job I have a predictable, easy schedule on a 4-day work week. I have a lot of autonomy to take on my own projects, and I rarely work evenings or weekends. And my boss is great. BUT, the work is unchallenging and I am very bored. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health to feel like I am wasting my career potential away and not challenging myself or making the world a better place. Plus I am underpaid.
I may have an opportunity to make a huge leap to a relatively high-raking government agency position. It would involve learning a whole new area of law, plus managing people, projects, and legislative initiatives. It pays twice what I currently make (!). BUT of course, I would move back to a 5-day schedule requiring more face time and longer hours and higher stress.
I have a 2-year old and a 5-year old and a 45-60m commute. DH is flexible and works near home so he does all the daycare pickup/dropoff and meal prep during the week. Which would you rather???
Spirograph says
I made exactly that change, and am 3 years into the role that involved learning the whole new thing, managing people and projects, and working 5 days a week. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health to feel like I’m go-go-go all the time at work and at home, and I’ve realized I don’t particularly like managing people or projects. I’m ready to go back to 4 days a week at a semi-boring job, but it was a good experience.
The grass is always greener, but give it a shot, you can always lean back out again!
Redux says
Thank you for sharing this experience! Do you think your 3-year stint in your current role has positioned you well to find a better 4-day semi-boring job? Or do you think you should have stayed in the old job? I know if I make the change it would be a somewhat short stint just by nature of the high stress levels and go-go-go you mention, but I hope that when I left I could get a better gig than the one I have now. Maybe that’s reverse justifying the move…
Spirograph says
I can’t say for sure until I start a focused job search, but I feel like I’m much better positioned now that I have experience in two broad categories of my field vs just one. It’s easy to go back to a role similar to my old one from where I am now, but I also have a lot of options that wouldn’t exist without this experience.
I was unhappy in my previous role for the same reasons you are (and some others), and needed to make a change, regardless. It was a lucky opportunity for a stretch and I don’t have any regrets about taking it, even if I end up back where I started. I’ve learned new skills, honed my job likes/dislikes, and proved to myself that I could do it (a la CPA Lady’s ego point in her pro&cons). The money has been an incredible luxury. We had enough for our needs before, but now it’s literally not something I even think about unless we’re planning a vacation.
Also, I just need change every few years. I like a good challenge for a time, but I don’t have the stamina to keep it up constantly. I like relaxing, but eventually I get bored and frustrated. To the point someone made about seasons below, it works for me to alternate between high and low stress positions every few years. Ideally I could ramp up and down within the same organization (and have done in the past), but sometimes you have to take the opportunities where they come.
anne-on says
Is there any way to put off the new high stress role until you figure out what your ‘new normal’ looks like in terms of full time school instead of day care? I didn’t believe it until I did it but school was a TOTAL wake up call in terms of how much help/parental balancing we needed.
Workmom says
I know I’m late, but can you talk more about this? We are transitioning to school in the fall, and I’ve heard a lot that it’s difficult. I’m interested in more details on what was different and how you handled it. Thanks!
anon says
I don’t think there’s a blanket answer here, and you have to do what works best for you personally. Some people are just wired to be lean-in people. Others are not. Priorities change, and what works now isn’t necessarily the answer five years from now. If I’ve learned anything in my almost 10 years as a working mom, it’s that things change all the time: your own interests, your family situation, etc. I think you have to own whatever choice you’re making and realize that nothing is forever.
anne-on says
So, I loved the advice (and wish I’d gotten it sooner!) to think of life in ‘seasons’. I took a major job change when my son was newborn. It was HARD but really did move my career along. Personally I was a mess, basically my husband and I worked to keep our heads above water – cooking was basic, cleaning was outsourced, and we barely worked out. I’ve since then had periods when I was stagnating a bit and that was OK as my life/child needed WAY more attention. My husband and I also realized we needed more help (for us an au pair) once a proper school schedule kicked in. That has made BOTH of us more able to lean in but man was it a struggle to accept that we both needed (and needed to pay for!) that additional help. I still travel a bit more than my family likes, and work out and see friends less than I would like, but overall I think we’re currently in a good ‘season’. That can and may change, but overall I do like the advice to look at your life a week at a time and flex your categories – some days more work, some days more family, some days more ‘you’ stuff as opposed to trying to cram ALL the balance into every single day.
Anonymous says
I think work-life balance means different things to different people. The week in the life poster last week, who works long hours but loves her job and has made peace with coming home after her baby goes to bed, was really eye-opening to me. She seems really happy, so that’s a good balance to her. I need the balance to be lighter on work and heavier on home/personal life because I don’t get much joy out of my career, and I don’t want to outsource any more than I currently do.
My current job is challenging, has good pay and a title that is prestigious if you squint. My husband is a federal employee so the pay isn’t as good as mine, but he also has a prestigious title and challenging work that he really enjoys. Whether jobs like this exist with only 40-45 hours a week (if that’s the bar for work-life balance) depends a lot on your field. Honestly, I would be happy to step down a couple levels and work 30 hours a week. I don’t need the title or as much pay, just enough work to stay busy and a collegial environment.
rakma says
I’m also trying to take a long term view on this, but the boredom is real. It sounds like you made a lot of trade-offs for a workable schedule, are there other pluses to your current position? (e.g. I actually calculate the difference in our current health insurance premium vs what we’d be paying on DH’s plan into my ‘income’ when I’m doing big picture planning)
The next logical step in my career involves a level of facetime that I can’t manage right now. But I’m in a field (female dominated, education-adjacent) where it’s not uncommon to take a step back when you have young kids, and then ramp up when they’re about high school age, so I have successful examples of what that path looks like. Knowing this isn’t a ‘dead end’ helps a lot.
I’m also trying to enjoy being an expert in my current niche, and working on documenting processes and creating trainings. I don’t like doing training, but I’m good at it, so I’m going with the flow on that one.
Redux says
My job does have great PTO. We get 6 weeks vacation/sick, plus the office is closed for the week between Christmas and New Years’, so 7 weeks total, which is really nice. DH has better benefits, so we get them through his job. Really the kicker is the boredom. Perhaps if I were a more self-motivated person, but I’m finding it really hard not to feel bored. I also worry that I am setting myself up to be stuck because I am not developing new skills that are apparently applicable to other roles and that worries me. If this is indeed a season and my career is long, I need to position myself for a long and rewarding career, right?
Emily S. says
Are there opportunities to learn new skills in your current role/profession? Like, attending CLEs/MCEs/equivalent, or attending trade shows/tech shows/conferences, or participating in a formal mentor or sponsor program? I’m trying to think of things that are ostensibly work related, but would get you out of the office and the routine a bit.
CPA Lady says
I think that no matter what you do, there is some amount of sacrifice or compromise. It’s like that saying “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything”. I don’t think it’s possible to have a powerful, high charging, important career at 40 hours a week with a huge paycheck while mothering in the modern, intensive style and never making any compromises anywhere.
Currently I have good work/life balance. The pros and cons look about like this:
Pay:
old job – ~$75,000, with the ability to earn way more, large annual raises
current job – ~$75,000, with no room for additional compensation beyond 1-2% COL increases each year.
Hours:
old job- work every weekend beginning at the end of Jan, up to 80+ hours a week including Saturday and Sunday by beginning of March
current job – work half days on weekends starting at the middle of march, up to 65+ hours a week by the end of March
Potential for advancement:
old job- could have made partner
current job – no further room for advancement due to the size and demographics of the group, though I was able to advance one step up when someone quit last year.
The work:
old job- 90% complex, felt like an idiot on a daily basis
current job- 75% basic, 25% complex, with a lot of random one-off tax problems and questions
Boredom level:
old job- never bored
current job – sometimes bored
Ego:
old job – super stoked, felt really important (this is now comical to me in retrospect– like lawyers who think non-lawyers are super impressed by big law, as if we even know what that is. No one gives a crap what accounting firm you work at, CPA Lady.)
current job – ehh.
Colleagues:
old job- brilliant, intense, but a number of rude, miserable @$$holes
current job- generally pleasant people
Stress level:
old job- severe daily anxiety
current job- occasional brief anxiety
Life outside of work:
old job – no hobbies, expected to do evening networking in my “personal” time, no time for friends for six months out of the year, had to hire a babysitter to put my child to bed because I got home so late
current job- lots of hobbies, friends, family time almost year round
I think having a full life outside of work has helped me be more comfortable with my decision to take a lower pressure job. Plus tax is extremely flexible and I could go back to a more intense public accounting firm at the drop of a hat if I wanted to. So I know I am where I am because it’s what I’m choosing.
HSAL says
CPA Lady, your framing here is so helpful. I’m currently considering a new job (even though I really like my current job) and I’m totally going to steal these to make a fair comparison.
Anonymous says
This is a great way of looking at it. I too left one job for a different balance. I definitely gave up some things but gained others. old job was in office 9-6 post baby (9-7 on a slow day pre kids, more usual 9-8 or 9-9) and 2-3 hours after baby’s bedtime, hour commute on a good day, unpredictable weekend work, extreme daily anxiety, no exercise time. But the work was exciting and impactful on a national level, intellectually challenging, amazing people who were intensely intelligent. New job is in office 8:15-4:45 with lots of wfh flexibility, almost no evenings or weekends, 15-45 min commute depending on traffic and which location I’m going to. The work is still challenging and interesting but is more soft skills and there’s little writing or rigorous analysis- doesn’t use that same intellectual area of brain. Work is nuanced and challenging but affects much smaller local issues — much smaller impact and some things are so stupid. Coworkers are all good but not all fiercely intelligent. Current job does have more different opportunities for advancement and more opportunities about where I could take my career if I chose to— not locked into one niche thing like old job. I took a two year significant pay cut but am now within $5k of old salary and will continue to get increases, whereas I would not have had further increases at old job. Old job had much better but totally unpredictable bonuses; new job has A PENSION and free health insurance . And it’s not government. Each job has things that were better and worse.
Pogo says
Your point about ego is SO spot on.
Redux says
Ha, true. But I am realizing that it is something that affects my mental health, too. I am motivated my knowing that my job is making a difference (or put more egotistically, that *I* am an important person with an important role). You’re right that no one outside knows the difference between biglaw/accounting and other roles, but I do, and I like that feeling.
Cold Toes says
I just made a change away from a too-low-key position that was impacting my mental health. I am very new at the new job, and I do not think it’s the level of intensity your potential change would bring, but right now I feel better all around – I cannot be bored all day. By the end of my time at the old job I was not being productive at work or at home, really felt like I was in a fog. Totally an individual personality situation – and I know others could take a boring situation and make it better, apparently I am not that person!
And on the volunteering/joining boards, etc. advice – I would caution against some of that while your kids are the ages they are (mine are the same ages) – I joined a board, it became a full-time second job, but one I had to do off of work hours. So then I was bored all day, overwhelmed by my volunteer commitment. I made this move and quit the board with the hopes of focusing during the day and working hard, but preserving my off hours time.
Pogo says
Oh I’m totally with you – that’s why I felt it was spot on. I think it has come up here in the context of salary too. Like objectively I make plenty of money but I know many of my college friends make 2x and I’m salty about that – I think a lot of us come from the world of being overachievers and always getting perfect grades, so a title and a salary are like the adult equivalent of “grades”.
Artemis says
Redux, I was coming here to whine and your post hit home. I’m at a job where I am personally valued and have acquired great skills but now it’s stagnated, I’m bored, and the pay is crappy enough that it’s really starting to piss me off. I have kids who need me and I am there for them but you know what? Pretty much so is my husband, who has a way better job. I’ve been job-hunting for 2 years and today i got yet another rejection e-mail from a position I really felt good about. My title at work is not really a signifier of the amount of responsibility I have, even though it is nicely confined to 40 hours per week. I’m not very happy with myself or my situation right now. It sucks. I know this “season” with my kids will pass as they get older, but I’m beginning to worry I’m permanently stuck in this job season. I admire the others who have responded for getting into a good headspace, and I once had that headspace, but I can’t seem to find my way back right now.
Anonny says
I’m 5 months pregnant with our first child, but ugh… I feel exactly the same way. As much as I want to lean in, now is probably the time to use the good will I’ve built up here at boring job and wait it out til we get through the newborn madness..
Artemis says
Congratulations! And you are probably right to wait it out through the newborn madness, although this board proves that people do it other ways very well. I just . . . realized a little while ago that just as I got pay raises for the first 7ish years of my career, I’ve now spent the past 7ish years taking paycut after paycut trying to find the right balance. Now I think I’ve gone too far and I’m not sure how to push the scales back again.
Seriously though, I wish you the best with your first baby!
Anonymous says
Newborn madness aside, as I’ve transition into elementary school/summer camp years, I’ve found the wisdom I scoffed at when my kids were babies is true: Baby years are much, much easier in a lot of ways for work-life balance. Set-and-forget full time, high quality, reliable, childcare is readily available (for a price), and while babies have a lot of physical needs, they are pretty straightforward. Everything seems to get trickier and require more hands on management the older they get. Leaning in enough that you have flexibility and options in time to exercise them for elementary school can be really helpful. (Other good options also exist, of course!)
Anon says
Yes, this. I think so many people here don’t have any kids in school yet and I hate to say it but it gets so much harder when they start K and you have to do the aftercare/activity/summer camp juggle. Life with little ones in full-time daycare is comparatively so easy.
Redux says
I feel you. You articulate one of my worries about being stuck and not able to get out when I want to. I worry that if I try to ride out the season of small children my window of opportunity to move into a new field learning new things will close. At some point my prior experience will start seeming less relevant and my current experience will take up outsized importance that might stifle my advancement outside of this place. The perks are nice but the boredom and crappy pay and pissed off feeling that results is really taking a toll.
Coach Laura says
Redux, it’s late but I wanted to reply. The poster above who shared that, once kids are in school flexibility is more necessary is right on. For that reason, with a 2yo and a 5yo I think I’d recommend that you take the lean-in job for a few years. As you said above, it might get you some new challenges and keep you from getting “stuck” now. If you think you could move laterally to another non-challenging job in a few years (before true burnout sets in) I think you should do it, assuming your partner is on board for the changes. The toll of bad pay and being pissed off is real.
Anon says
I too am in biglaw, although as a senior associate on partner track rather than a junior person. I have what I view as a “good” work life balance, although others might disagree. I genuinely like what I do and the people with whom I do it. I have built up enough credibility that I have a fair amount of flexibility when I need it, and I am senior enough that I typically am not working past midnight on a regular basis (unlike this week’s poster). I have an under 30 minute (typically) commute but still manage to have a house and a yard that feels on the rural side of suburban. I make enough that my husband is able to stay home with our kiddo and we don’t stress about finances, which takes a lot of the pressure off me in terms of when I do need to put in the hours at the office. Our kiddo is A LOT, so I am still doing most of the heavy lifting in the housework that we don’t outsource because DH has his hands full all day with kiddo, and that’s not ideal but I don’t see it changing until she is in preschool or regular school. I work from home one day a week, so while I am working, I still see kiddo on my breaks, meals, etc. I have altered my day (going in later and leaving later since she’s a night owl) so that the vast majority of the time, I am able to make it home to do bedtime and I briefly see her in the morning before I head in. I have limited travel and do a lot of work on weekend afternoons during naptime and after bedtime. The caveat is that I probably don’t sleep as much as I should (I average 6-7 hours, would prefer 9), I let kiddo co-sleep when I am too tired to fight her new 2-year sleep regression and teething disaster (4am wakeups, ugh, which leads to less sleep for everyone but her), and I don’t exercise other than lifting, carrying and wrestling my 35 pounder and weekend or WFH day walks with her, but I still feel good and am able to physically do all the things I want to do, so I’m treating this as a season. I also don’t have hobbies like I used to, but I dabble in gardening and love to cook when I have the time. I see friends typically 1-2 times a month and get far more family time than my working father ever did with us.
Anon says
I felt similarly for about a year. After a lot of thinking, I felt like my options were pursue a job change that would take me away from my easy, boring job with great benefits or give up the easy, boring job with great benefits to stay home. I realize that people might consider leaning in vs SAHM polar opposites, but to me, both of them sounded more appealing than sitting at a desk for 7 hours a day, not seeing my kids, not making that much money and being bored out of mind. Ultimately, I decided in this season of life I couldn’t handle a big job that would take me away from my kids more than 40 hours per week, so I left to stay home and am now trying to launch my own business (which has provided an intellectual challenge but little financial support so far). I don’t know what will happen at this point – maybe my business will be successful, maybe I will return to a full-time office job, or maybe I will just decide I like being a SAHM.
Anon for now says
Just found out that I’m expecting baby #2 and I’m so excited and also completely stressed about finances. Does anyone know whether putting 2 kids in daycare for half a day 5 days per week is the same price as one kid for 5 full days? Trying to think of creative solutions!!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Congrats! And yes, 2 in daycare gets super expensive, unfortunately. For half days, what would you do for the other half? Nanny? I think a lot of people switch to nannies once they have 2, especially close in age, as it can be cheaper to have a nanny watch two kids than to pay for daycare for two.
Pricewise, daycare depends on the area and what room they’re in. I.e. infant is more expensive than toddler, which is more expensive than preschool, at least here. We’ve saved some money by having my dad watch the baby 2 days a week and do part-time infant daycare, with fulltime daycare/preschool for our 3 year old, but I know we’re fortunate to have a willing and able grandparent.
HSAL says
I think it’s probably daycare-specific, but for mine (small family-owned center) it definitely would not be the same price. Tuition for kids depends on their ages because of the different teacher ratios. Mine doesn’t even allow part-time until they’re two, and even then it’s not a significant enough discount to lose the flexibility of being able to send the kids whenever. They do offer a sibling discount, so even if yours doesn’t advertise it you could ask. Do you have room for an au pair? Good luck! Daycare costs are so stressful.
Anon for now says
Thank you both! I currently work a 28 hour week over 4 days, but what if I worked 1-6 for 5 days and a few hours on weekends? Then I could send toddler and infant to daycare while I’m at work and maybe not pay double what we pay now. Does that even sound reasonable?
Anonymous says
Obviously, your needs could be different…But I would recommend working early in the morning before they get up (if they’re not super early risers) and then do daycare in the morning. Pick them up before naptime and have them nap at home. That way you get half a day of daycare plus naptime for you/work. Of course that assumes a common one-nap schedule so might make more sense when the youngest is older.
Anonymous says
Nah that’s not going to work nice try tho
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
In my area, part time spots are either MWF or T/TH. It would be very hard to find 1-6 childcare unless you found a part-time nanny. For a part-time nanny, you might have luck finding a SAHM to school aged kids who is interested in doing 9-3pm everyday.
For a 28 hr work week, I would do a MWF spot at daycare (8 hr work days) and then one afternoon with a babysitter. If you do a 3-6pm timeslot for the afternoon you might be able to get a local high school or college student.
Anonymous says
Part time daycare is hard to find and usually only MWF or TR. I think it’s going to be incredibly hard to find a place that will let you go mornings or afternoons only. I’d also say that in my area, MWF costs about 80% of full time care (even though kids are only going 60%) and TR costs about 60% even though they’re only going 40%. Generally, part time childcare is not a great deal.
Anonymous says
I agree with this in the centers I have first-hand experience with. You can split a full-time enrollment by days with another family, but there’s no half-day option for kids younger than preschool age. Preschool is a different story, though. The program is 9am-1pm, 5 days/week. Afternoons only would be strange, since most centers do an early afternoon nap.
ElisaR says
our daycare discourages partial days so they charge more for a half or a portion of the week than just splitting it in half. From their perspective they would rather have full time kids. We do get a 10% discount for the 2nd kid though (I know it’s ridiculous and not helpful at all).
Emily S. says
My church affiliated daycare offers half days and MWF through pre-school, and it is cheaper. We also get the sibling discount (sweet 10% and on the older cheaper sibling but I’ll take it.) FWIW, we kept DD1 in 3days a week until I went back to work after mat leave and then she went 5 days and baby 3.
Pogo says
When it comes time we will probably go with an au pair or nanny for 2 kiddos; it works out to be much more reasonable.
I could see kid #1 finding a PT spot more easily – for example we have in our town a half-day pre-K that’s very cheap (if you get in – lottery situation). But half-day is of course actually like 3.5 hours, so you’d still need the nanny/au pair – but you’d need them watching the baby, anyway.
Quail says
Congratulations! Just chiming in to commiserate on the cost of two in day care – I’m expecting #2 in September. We are likely going to get a nanny and keep the older in full time preschool even though it is more expensive to avoid the hassle of two drop offs and pickups (#1’s daycare/preschool starts at 2 years old and we are not moving him because we love it so.) Even if we had them at the same chain (and thus got a slight sibling discount) it is a lot of money. It is just so, so expensive unless parents start working opposite shifts or have family move in.
anon says
Does anyone have a very portable sleeper or other baby holder they like? I was a big rock and play user with our first (she even slept in it at night on occasion when congested) and am due with number 2 in 8 weeks. I like that the rnp was super portable so I could move it from room to room while doing something, but after the recent news (especially last week’s wapo story) I don’t want to use it again. I will probably set up a pnp for daytime naps but it’s not as portable around the house.
Anonymous says
Dock a tot.
Anon says
Second the Dock A Tot. It’s expensive for what it is though, so maybe look for a secondhand one?
Anonymous says
It’s the Dock A Tot more dangerous than the RNP?
shortperson says
yes.
how about you set up your travel crib? or if you have a fancy stroller, the bassinet from that?
ElisaR says
https://www.boppy.com/newborn-lounger/
ElisaR says
this is really only good when they are very little but it’s cheap enough and I loved it.
ER says
Yeah I used this a lot in the bathroom when I was helping big sister go to the potty or get in the bathtub, etc. Totally worth it. I also splurged for the baby bjorn bouncer and LOVED that for the kitchen area when I needed to put the baby down for longer periods of time (he hated baby wearing).
Pogo says
I loved this! I believe it worked for all of my maternity leave – as long as they can’t roll. Though it has the same caveat as the RnP – not for sleep, not for unsupervised anything. I did let my son nap in it, when I was sitting right next to him (which is also the only way I used the RnP).
Anonymous says
Maybe this makes me a terrible parent but I just set my kid on the floor. We have carpet everywhere except the kitchen though.
Lyssa says
We mostly did the same. Usually put a receiving blanket down, but it was fine if we didn’t.
Callie says
I’m following along with this as I’m pregnant with my third and have been wondering the same thing.
The RNP was a lifesaver for us and I’m a bit thrown off on how I’ll keep baby3 safe from his toddler and preschooler sibling without it. The lay on a blanket on the floor method worked well for us for our first kid but not so much for my 2nd when I had a 17 month older whirling dervish racing around.
Anonymous says
How about a bassinet like the chicco lullago or something similar?
Anon says
I loved the boppy newborn lounger and used it way more than I thought I would. Once my LO was about 6 weeks I started using a bouncer seat, although she didn’t really bounce in it. I’m also a big proponent of just putting a soft blanket on the floor and letting baby have tummy or uncontained floor time.
Anonymous says
Boppy lounger and then the fisher price bouncer. I think general advice to make things easier is having one place to put the baby on each floor. You could also try that circular baby dome thing. I wouldn’t do the dock a tot because I feel like the sides are a smothering hazard, but you do you.
rosie says
If you want a safe sleep surface that is more portable, look at the Baby Bjorn bassinet. Very lightweight but feels stable. We used it for nighttime sleep until my LO outgrew (around 4 months — she was tall though) & I could move it easily from room-to-room during the day. Not cheap, though.
Anonymous says
Shhh don’t tell anyone, but I plan to still use the RnP as a “baby holder” with our second (due in Sept). Not for sleeping/napping, but for those moments where free hands are needed and baby’s awake and will be supervised. FWIW, our RnP is an older model that does not have the auto rock mechanism.
Also, if the incline is the issue for the RnP (per wapo article), what about all those other inclined products out there? Swings, mamaroo, etc.
Anon says
Probably a weird question, but my toddler is starting daycare soon. The daycare schedule has them outside for over 3 hours a day, which I feel like most parents would love, but I’m very worried about the sun exposure. She’s very fair and has spent very little time in the sun, and even with diligent sunscreen application, using shade as much as possible and minimizing time outside especially during mid-day, she’s already had a couple of sunburns (which I feel terribly guilty about). We and the teachers will obviously apply lots of sunscreen, but I still have no idea how her skin is going to handle 3 hours/day outside, most of it in direct sunlight. It gets really hot here in the summers so using lots of protective clothing isn’t really an option. I’m not really sure what I’m asking, just interested to hear from other parents of super pale kids how you handle so much time outside or reassure me that it will be ok.
Anonymous says
Hats; protective clothing; insisting on sunscreen and shade; not going outside at midday.
AwayEmily says
They make breathable UPF clothing. It’s not the same material as a regular swim rashguard — much better in super hot weather. We have the iplay breathable sun protection shirt (available on amazon) and it’s great — my kids don’t complain about being too hot in it.
Spirograph says
+1 You don’t need lots of layers to have sun protection from clothing. I always think of the cultures from hot climates — a lot of them wear hats/head coverings + loose clothing with long pants and sleeves for sun protection. As long as the humidity isn’t awful, it can actually be cooler.
Our daycare is hats-required, and outside time is before noon and after 4, and much the same at home because we do post-lunch siesta. Between smart timing, hats, covered shoulders, and sunscreen application in the AM and after nap, my pale kids haven’t gotten burned yet.
Pro tip: look for the hats with a brim + neck veil on the back rather than just a regular sunhat with a wide brim or a baseball cap. Kids are often sitting on the ground bending over to look at something, leaving the back of their neck exposed unless you have plenty of extra fabric back there.
Anonymous says
+1 on the brim. It’s not as cute but a firm brim and neck veil has been much more accepted by my kids over a floppy sun hat that gets in their eyes.
AwayEmily says
Someone on here recommended the Sunday Afternoon playhat — it’s not cheap but it’s GREAT, covers the whole neck/face, and my kid keeps it on really well.
Anon says
Thanks! You think these shirts would be ok when it’s 85 and humid? I’m not worried about layers – a single cotton layer seems to protect her from the sun fine (though I know UPF fabric is better) but I just assumed she’d be too hot in long sleeves at that temp.
anon says
My sister and I were super pale (blond/red haired and freckled) kids who spent a lot of time in the sun. For clothes a crew neck t-shirt along with a wide brimmed hat will go a long way. It’s amazing how much harder it is to get good coverage with a strappy tank top than with a t-shirt. Other than that, it’s all about reapplying the sunscreen very often. I admit I worry a lot about my LO who is just a baby and doesn’t get as much time outdoors. But it’s something we just have to deal with! It will be ok, just drill it into her daycare teachers that she must wear her hat and she must get sunscreen reapplied every X amount of time.
Anonymous says
great hat that covers her neck, t-shirt and shorts from the boys section. I always buy kids shorts from the boys section because they go close to the knees so it’s a lot less area to sunscreen.
What time do they take them outside? Between 11am and 4pm is the highest risk of sunburn but that’s usually when they are inside having lunch and naps. Our daycare does outside time from 9:30-11am and then 4- 5:30pm to avoid the middle of the day.
Anon says
They are inside for lunch/naps/ etc from 11:30-3:30 but unfortunately the sun is not overhead until close to 2 pm in our city (we should basically be in a different time zone than we are) so 3:30 is still very much “mid-day” for sun purposes.
She refuses to wear hats, but I’m hoping daycare will be able to change that. I’m actually less worried about her face. Obviously we will apply sunscreen there but her face has had more lifetime sun exposure and doesn’t burn as easily. It’s her arms and legs that have been largely covered up by clothing this past spring/winter/fall that are ghostly white and burn pretty much instantly.
Anonymous says
Kids are usually much more compliant at daycare when there’s like 20 other kids being made to wear hats and get sunscreen on. And the teachers do it so much they are fast and effective.
Anonymous says
Agree. And don’t be afraid to try different kinds of hats. Our kiddo definitely likes some better than others. She has super fine hair, so we try to push hats so the top of her head doesn’t get burnt. The suggestion above about the neck veil is good. Kiddo much prefers baseball style to a wide brim. iPlay makes great and reasonable hats and breathable UPF shirts. Check them out!!
Anon says
The medical info may have changed over the years but I was the type of pale kid that burned once or twice at the beginning of every summer but then it turned to a tan and I was fine the rest of the summer. My mom talked to my ped about my burns (in high school, so I remember it) since I got them at the start of every spring sports season despite wearing sunscreen. My uniform was shorts/tank so I couldn’t cover up more. I remember the ped saying they were more concerned about kids that continuously burned throughout the summer instead of getting a couple and then getting “used” to the sun.
I know that no burns is best but do you know if she is the type to repeat burn or adjust? I’d be less concerned if she adjusts.
ElisaR says
call me crazy but my understanding is all sun is bad – including a sun tan. If you burn and then it turns to tan you are still damaging your skin–it just looks nicer.
Anonymous says
My understanding is that at some point since our childhoods recommendations changed. It used to be more what Anon was told, but now the thinking is that all sun is bad – you want to avoid all burns and tans aren’t great either. (I had at least one burn every summer as a child, yikes.)
Anonymous says
My kids go to a “nature based” daycare (so spend most of the day outside) in Austin, Texas (super sunny) and one of them is a redhead (sun sensitive) — never had a sunburn. They use sunscreen and have a play area with plenty of shade. I think spending a lot of time outside is really wonderful for young children.
Pogo says
If it’s like mine, they’re out early-ish in the morning, then come inside for snack, play inside, then lunch and nap. The other hours they’re outside are post-nap – so they avoid all the high-sun time. Mine is very pale and he is outside for > 3 hours most days. He gets sunscreen and hat, and usually just regular clothes (no fancy UPF shirt).
shortperson says
check out coolibar for kids upf clothing. all this time outdoors is great for kids eye development!
Emily S. says
You could also try washing her clothes with Sunguard to wash UPF in.
When DD#1 was a toddler, Carter’s made awesome linen-like drawsting pants that she wore nearly everyday — covered her legs but were breathable. Try looking for those?
Otherwise, all the sunscreen, hats, sunglasses, etc. she’ll tolerate. My kids are outside a lot at daycare, and I agree with other posters that teachers are responsible with sunscreen and shade; mine have never had a burn at daycare.
Ghost ships says
Just wanted to post here to say that I will probably make partner at my firm this year. It’s obviously a major achievement that I should be so proud of, etc etc. But all I can think of is that with the Big Jobs that both DH and I will have, we will not have the time and space for a third child. I think of this promotion as closing off the size of our family, and I am having a hard time letting go.
Anonymous says
Congratulations! And it’s totally legitimate to feel the way you feel. I think plenty of people mourn the loss of an additional child. We know we can’t have a third for financial reasons and it weighs heavily on me. Let yourself take the time to process these feelings. Thankfully we still live in a country where women have access to contraception so family planning is (mostly) possible.
anon for this says
I know a few female partners with three children. They make it work with lots and lots of childcare/back up care (obviously). Obviously you know your situation best, but if it is something you really want, then make it happen. I would feel huge regret if my work restricted by decision to have a third, even while recognizing that making partner is a huge achievement.
Signed, former Big Law counsel
Anonymous says
If it helps, we have three not by choice (singleton, then twins). 3 is hard. Like really hard. It’s amazing how quiet and peaceful things are when there are just two. Everything is built for families of 4.
I say this as someone who has embraced the chaos and would have a 4th kid if I could convince DH – Watching a door close on a life you thought you might have lived isn’t easy (whether it’s another kid or taking 6 months for a sailing adventure or backpacking in Thailand) but letting go of all the ‘what ifs’ is very freeing.
OP says
Haha I would also like to have a fourth kid if I could convince DH (would never happen, not in a million years)! But I also don’t do well with the chaos. I have so many conflicting feelings. Thanks for all of your replies, because these are very hard feelings for me to share with anyone else I know besides my husband.
Anonymous says
I was talking to my neighbor about this recently. She has 4 kids, I have 3. Both of us would have liked more, but our respective husbands are a big NO for that. It made us feel better to know that not everyone is sure! happy! and done! with the size of their family, even when they agree for every logical reason that it’s time stop adding babies. Lots of people know when they’re done and instantly at peace with that, but lots of people are sad and conflicted too. You’re not alone.
Congratulations on your career step, though. That’s still something to be proud of and celebrate, even if it comes with an opportunity cost.
Anon says
You mean you don’t want to go sailing in Alaska with four toddlers? How unadventurous!
Pogo says
im so glad someone made this callback.
anne-on says
HA, you win all the internets.
Emily S. says
Hugs. We went through something similar this year. A third child was only a distant possibility, but a possibility nonetheless, and then I had to have surprise surgery (involving a 3rd c-section incision.) The surgery, physical recovery, and emotional recovery was just too much. At one point I looked at DH and said, I can’t go through this again; I can’t birth another child. So, I feel you on feeling like the choice is being made for you and all the conflicting emotions about watching that possibility fade. No real advice, bc I’m still letting go, but give yourself some time and space to feel.
Maya says
Any tips or resources to nip biting behavior in the bud? Got an incident report that toddler bit a friend at daycare. First time parent and toddler is 16 month old.
Anon says
First, it’s developmentally appropriate, as unfortunate as it may seem. Second, see if you can glean why toddler is biting – frustration, boredom, teething, attention, etc. and treat accordingly. Third, offer lots of teethers and while a lot of people like the book Teeth Are Not For Biting, we actually had the most success (caveat we were probably closer to 18-19 months) with Little Dinos Don’t Bite (and are now repeatedly talking about how Little Dinos Don’t Hit).
Maya says
Thank you! This is helpful, I am glad that there is this community of moms I can count on for help.
SG says
We have always been the friend being bitten, for us, it was a short stage and daycare is probably the best place for advice. Not the most helpful but you will get through it!