Washable Workwear Wednesday: Cotton Poplin Tie-Waist Shirtdress

ok I know this is a common problem. Help me. I had 2 babies in the last 2 years and I’m 40 years old so that is likely a factor here but my baby is now 10.5 months old and my body is very out of whack.

Last night I measured my chest, waist and torso to determine what size I needed in a dress I saw online. My chest was a size 4. My waist a size 16. My hips a size 10. I know people have different sizes on those 3 measurements but this seems extreme.

I am doing bar method 3x a week. I could do more cardio. I eat fairly well, could always do better. I actually had bloodwork done yesterday to make sure my thyroid is ok. Any advice? Maybe I need to do weight watchers.

I posted Monday about how much I resent my husband. To recap, we have a 3 year old and a 10 month old, and he travels for work 4-5 nights per week. Baby has had recurring ear infections, 3 year old is… 3, and husband also spends about one weekend per month playing golf (often out of town).

I appreciate all the great advice, and I have followed some already: checked out How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids, started researching couples counseling, scheduled a therapist for just me.

Then, Monday afternoon, the phone rang. It was the daycare. They said they had tried to call my husband at 3, but he didn’t call them back. They were calling to tell him baby had a low grade fever. (At this daycare, if you can pick up your kid before the fever reaches 101, kid can come back tomorrow. If they are still at school when fever reaches 101, kid can’t come back tomorrow.) He did not call the daycare back, nor did he tell me the daycare had called. So by the time they called me at 5, guess what? Fever is over 101, and baby is out sick for tomorrow.

I snapped. I called him and got no answer. Because he was on the godforsaken golf course. Out of state, by the way. So I called him five times in a row, punctuating this with texts telling him what happened and asking why the eff he didn’t bother to send me a quick text that says “hey heads up you might want to call the daycare” (subtext: because if you don’t you’re going to be totally screwed for tomorrow since I’m gone all week on this golf trip). Finally got him on the phone and really just yelled at him for like ten minutes and had what I’m pretty sure was a panic attack.

So then I began the work of handling the sick kid: text both grandmas to beg someone to keep him tomorrow since I have non-negotiable work commitments most of the day. Call the pediatrician to make an appointment. They’re closed already so try again tomorrow. Realize I have to attend pediatrician appointment myself, not just send a grandma, because I need to beg them to refer us for ear tubes. Somehow feed 3 year old and put him to bed, God Bless Paw Patrol. Stay awake all night holding screaming baby. Call pediatrician and beg for same-day appointment, and the only available time slot is in the middle of a Very Important Meeting that I now have to miss. And so forth.

On Tuesday morning, I sent husband a text (would have called, but there’s no reception on this super exclusive fancy pants golf resort) saying we need to make some changes and I need one day a week where he is responsible. I need him to do drop off and pickup, on this one weekly day, and if he’s going to be out of town, to get a sitter. I tell him he can pick which day.

He doesn’t respond. I follow up on Tuesday night. He says I’m being “way too emotional” and that we can’t discuss this over text, and I’ll have to wait until he gets home so I can “be more calm.”

So I think that’s when I decided I am done. If he can’t even say “Of course, I’ll do one day a week, we will work it out,” then I really don’t care what else he has to say. But it descended into more texts, I say a hundred different ways that he doesn’t listen to me, and he says that “being a mom is too much for you,” “I’m tired of listening to your overblown complaining,” and “being a mom is just too big of a job for you.”

I’m pretty sure I can’t ever forgive any of that and don’t really see why I would want to, but I’m posting to say thanks for the advice on Monday, to give an update (unfortunately a bad one), and to see if anyone has advice other than dump him. Thanks all.

What’s your favorite online grocery delivery (and why)? We live in the suburbs of Houston, if that helps. For locals, I’m leaning toward HEB – they charge a delivery fee, optional driver tip, and 1% upcharge on all items ordered. The only other ones I know about are Shipt and Instacart. I probably won’t use it every week, but we’re currently out of things like milk and toddler food pouches, and I’m solo parenting this week so the thought of going to the grocery tonight after school pickup seems horrible.

My son is turning 2 next week – we’re not having a big birthday party but close relatives want to buy him something for his birthday. I always struggle with what to have people get. I like the idea of educational toys, etc. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!!

So I keep asking my BFF what I can get her daughter (my goddaughter) for her first birthday. She keeps saying she doesn’t need anything and not to get anything. But I *want* to get something and this is really frustrating. I know I can always get board book and clothes, but I would prefer something more special. They have a small house and hate clutter, so I really don’t want to get anything physically large. My friend is very anti-zoo/aquarium for ethical reasons and there aren’t really any children’s or science museums around them. I’m not local to them, so I can’t offer to babysit. Any ideas?
Also just a PSA to that giving people a gift list (when they ask) isn’t gift grabby, it’s actually doing a favor to the gift giver! I feel like she thinks she’s doing me a kindness by saying “thanks for thinking of us, but we don’t need anything” but she’s really not, because it’s important to me to get a gift. Arrrgggh.

Trigger warning – complicated feelings about 3rd pregnancy.

I’m hoping you guys can give me some wisdom. I’m pregnant with my third and so incredibly stressed out and anxious, and not excited at all. I feel ashamed of not being excited – especially because I had a lot of difficulty conceiving my first, to the point of having had multiple failed IVFs. So I well know the pain of infertility and that’s what made me give that trigger warning.
I have 2 small kids now and love them so dearly – but am so tired all the time. And I’m already an older mom – we’re just so shocked, and honestly, I’m depressed. We’re living almost paycheck to paycheck as it is, and were so looking forward to finally getting both kids out of daycare next year and into school, and getting to save some money. I thought I was going to be able to put more into work again and move into the next level – and now I feel like I’ll have to stay in my same underwhelming but comfortable position for the next few years. And – I’m dreading, positively dreading, the sleepless nights again. That was one of the worst experiences of my life and I just don’t want to go through it again. I know I sound like a baby and I really did go with it at the time but I have insomnia now as it is, and I’m terrified of what it’s going to be like to combine that with the irregular hours of a newborn – when the kids wake up now, which is rare, I’m totally unable to go back to sleep.
I did discuss termination with my husband. At my age, complications are a very real issue. He was very much against it. Not angry, just sad. So that is out of consideration.
I’m just sad and want to cry all the time. I know I’ll love my child when he or she is here. I do. But I want to be able to cope with this. People have 3 kids all the time, for goodness sakes. I want to be excited, and not sad.