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CorporetteMoms

05/05/2016 77 Comments · by Kat

Everyone Thursday: Offset Wedge Pumps

Recent Recs

comfortable wedge pumpsWhile doing our recent round-up of comfortable ballet flats, I noticed these nice wedge heels from French Sole, which give you just a tiny amount of height. Perfect for when you’re running around with kids and work stuff, and, IMHO, vastly more flattering a look with dresses than simple flats. The shoes are almost entirely sold out in navy, but the gray houndstooth pattern is still available for $209. (Ah, and that have solid black and beige for $219.) French Sole FS/NY ‘Offset’ Wedge Pump (If you’re looking for a wider selection of colors or a less blocky toe, check out this other wedge from French Sole — highly rated on Nordstrom, and 6pm and Amazon have lucky sizes and colors as low as $33(!).

This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off full-price pants and shirts; extra 30% off all sale styles
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
  • Eloquii – $19 and up select spring styles; 40% off everything else
  • J.Crew -25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
  • Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price dresses, skirts, accessories & shoes
  • Zappos – 23,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
  • Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 30% off Easter and spring to summer styles
  • Carter’s – Extra 20% off spring sets = up to 60% off
  • buybuyBaby – Spring sale: Up to 40% off

See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:

  • Week in the Life of a Working Mom: In-House Counsel in Texas
  • How to Fit Date Nights In
  • How Do You Fit Exercise In as a Working Mom?
  • Do You Encourage Your Kids To Make Resolutions?
  • Almond Mom: How Do You Talk To Your Kids about Dieting?

Click here to see our top posts!

And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

  • If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
  • Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
  • Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
  • Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
  • My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
  • ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
  • I think I suffer from mom rage…
  • My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
  • I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
  • If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
  • Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
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Comments

  1. Weaning Migraine says

    05/05/2016 at 10:31 am

    Good morning ladies,

    I am gradually weaning my LO (1 year) — stopped pumping at work about a month ago, nurse mornings/evenings and for comfort on weekends (like for head bonks). LO has started drinking cow’s milk and eating tons of food, and as of this weekend, is now only nursing for a few minutes at most before squirming down to play or sleep.

    I am currently coping with the worst migraine I’ve had in years. Two days of aura/nausea/other clear warning signs, yesterday I was totally incapacitated with “ice pick” head pain, and today I’m back to nausea/yawning/aura. My neck is super sore, and all my joints (head, neck, hips, legs, etc) are popping like a bag of chips whenever I move. It’s not real fun. I have meds that work, but they make me super loopy and non-functional, so I can only take them at night or if I’m not in the office.

    My research tells me that this is a very common effect of the tremendous hormonal shift when your body really decides to stop producing. Has anyone else gone through this? Any survival tips? Will it end?

    • Anon says

      05/05/2016 at 10:43 am

      It will get better. You can try pumping a bit here and there to slow down the wean and slow the hormone shift. Try to keep up then morning/evening nursing + comfort and only drop one feed/week – like drop morning feed one week and keep going with evening feed for at least another week so that the hormone shift is more gradual. (only applies if you’re trying to wean entirely – you can stay at twice a day as long as you want).

    • lsw says

      05/05/2016 at 11:54 am

      I am living in fear of this after 6 months of pregnancy with only 1-2 migraines a month. Do you mind if I ask what meds you typically take? I take imitrex, both pill and injection form (not together) and my neurologist had discussed with me taking those and them pump and dump when I start BFing.

      Hang in there – the only thing I can think of that is worse than a migraine is having a wee baby when you are experiencing one! I hope you find relief soon.

      • Weaning Migraine says

        05/05/2016 at 12:20 pm

        Thank you! I’m currently struggling to stay here. Almost just barfed all over a room full of people. I am probably going to turn out my office light and lie down for a bit…

        I take imitrex pills, and they usually work really well in one night/dose. This is day 4 and they give me some relief, but they haven’t knocked it out yet. I never had migraines except about once or twice/yearly stress-related ones, and so I’m new to migraine meds. Side note, you don’t need to pump/dump. My neuro almost refused to prescribe them to me (he’s awful- I need a new one), and I did my own research to discover that the research advising pump/dump is outdated. Kellymom has excellent info about this.

        lsw, can I ask you, at this point do I need to go get an injection? Haven’t taken any imitrex since yesterday morning, but it’s just…not…going…away….

        • Pogo says

          05/05/2016 at 12:23 pm

          Twice in my life when I was on day 4/5 of terrible migraines, I went to urgent care for fluids, anti-nausea meds, and IV morphine. I think it’s the only thing that kept me from cutting my own head off.

          • lsw says

            05/05/2016 at 12:29 pm

            Thanks for the tip – I will read up on Kellymom.

            I actually do the injections myself at home. I have a separate Rx for the pills and for the shots. I use Sumavel Dosepro. It is exactly the same medication as Imitrex, but it works much faster as it goes directly into your bloodstream. Literally, I feel it work within 15 minutes. The down side is I feel that the woozy, sleep side effects are worse – I don’t always get them with the pill, but I always lay down for at least an hour after taking the injection. With the pill, I’m usually good to go to work. I take 100 mg pills, and sometimes take two doses if needed. The main thing, according to all my research and various doctors, is to make sure you aren’t taking over the max doses (9-11ish) in a month, because then you need to worry about rebound headaches.

            For something stretching over a few days, like you’ve described, I would call your doctor and ask what s/he suggests. That’s pretty long with no relief! They might even recommend an ER visit like Pogo suggested. I have taken Vicodin as a stop-gap measure a few times, but that’s pretty major (and it makes me barf and otherwise feel terrible, but it does let me sleep if the pain is really bad) so there might be an option like that for a one-time solution. You may not be able to have the luxury of passing out for a full day with your beeb, though!

            I really hope you feel better soon!

      • Pogo says

        05/05/2016 at 12:21 pm

        Oh gosh same boat here. This sounds terrifying. I get super bad hormonal migraines like you both describe and TTC/fertility treatments are killing me. I can’t imagine this kind of hormonal awfulness with a screaming baby!

        My mom said her migraines stopped entirely during pregnancy, so I was looking forward to that… but weaning sounds like a nightmare!

        fwiw, I have found a low dose of diazepam to work as well if not better than imitrex when I first feel a migraine coming on.. it relaxes all the pain/tension in my neck and lowers my blood pressure to stop the throbbing. If I take it early enough it’ll kill a migraine entirely (I assume you’d still need to pump & dump).

        • OP says

          05/05/2016 at 12:23 pm

          Pogo, same question. Should I go get a shot?

          • anon for this says

            05/05/2016 at 12:41 pm

            As I mentioned above, I’d go to urgent care. Sometimes IV drugs are the only thing that will kill the pain when you’ve had one that long (plus if you’ve been barfing/feeling barfy for awhile, the fluids and anti-nausea go so far in helping you perk up).

            Empirically once I’ve gone that long and imitrex hasn’t done anything, the shot doesn’t do anything more than the pills (and also by the time I got to the urgent care, I’d always maxed my dosage for the day anyway – it can cause heart problems if you OD, so they are very careful about it!). And while as lsw points out, opiates are no fun, there’s a reason they’re around – they take care of excruciating pain.

            so many hugs for this. Migraines are the worstttt.

          • Pogo says

            05/05/2016 at 12:42 pm

            heheh that was me and obviously I’m no longer anon. clearly.

        • lsw says

          05/05/2016 at 12:30 pm

          Pogo, I haven’t found that mine are gone completely but after the first trimester they have been super rare! (had some rough ones in the first few months) Enjoy it!

  2. Due in December says

    05/05/2016 at 10:35 am

    Question about baby baths!

    My daughter (4 months) is outgrowing her Puj Tub for sink bathing, so we’re planning on moving to bath tub baths in the not-too-distant future, once she can sit up. Should we buy a bath ring or something for her to hold onto when we give her baths in the tub? Trying to figure out if this is a must-have item, nice-to-have item, or a not-needed item.

    And if a must-have or nice-to-have item, any recommendations? Thanks!

    • Ms B says

      05/05/2016 at 10:38 am

      Primo EuroBath is the way to go if you have the space to store it between baby baths (or if you can just leave it in the tub. It provides support and containment and cuts down the water use. It was an essential for us up to about the 1 year point (although we had to stop with sink baths at six weeks because The Kid was giant). Don’t buy new — they are available for cheap on Craigslist all the time.

      • CLMom says

        05/05/2016 at 10:42 am

        +1 for craiglist

      • back says

        05/05/2016 at 11:02 am

        love our eurobath!

      • EB0220 says

        05/05/2016 at 4:26 pm

        Loved ours too!

    • anon says

      05/05/2016 at 10:39 am

      A lot of our friends used them, or put the baby in a laundry basket in the tub. I never really figured out why; their babies must have behaved differently in the tub than ours. We just started bathing him in the tub as soon as he could sit up and it was totally fine; you obviously want to keep a hand on them until they’re very stable sitting. We used only a couple inches of water (also for environmental reasons), so would just have him lie down to rinse his head.

    • CLMom says

      05/05/2016 at 10:41 am

      We’re in a bath transition, as my daughter is almost 6 months.

      My gut is to always have less “stuff”, so we’re going to try her sitting up in the large laundry room sink basin with a towel on the bottom. Or have her bathe with me. If neither work well, we’ll look at baby water chairs and such.

      I have mixed feelings about the laundry basket in a big tub idea that floats around the internet.

    • Momata says

      05/05/2016 at 11:07 am

      I never understood the need for an additional item for bathtub baths. (I am also anti-“stuff.”) Once my kids outgrew the baby tub, we just lay them down on a nonslip mat in the bathtub and filled the tub just a few inches. They liked kicking, splashing, and hearing the water around their ears. Once they could sit up, then we moved to baths sitting up on the nonslip mat in just a few inches of water.

      • Whitney says

        05/06/2016 at 2:15 am

        We did this and he had so much fun! Surprised it isn’t more popular

    • lsw says

      05/05/2016 at 11:55 am

      We are also anti-stuff and I’m wondering how much we even need a baby bathtub – am I crazy to think we can just use the sink with a dishpan and a sponge? (First time mom, if it’s not obvious.)

      • Anon says

        05/05/2016 at 12:07 pm

        We only used the baby bathtub a few times because our baby got cold and cried. We ended up getting in the regular bathtub with her until she was old enough to sit up. We rinsed her hair with a soft-sided pitcher we bought in the baby aisle at Target. It conforms to the kid’s head to direct the water away from the face.

        When we had our baby, there was a lot of advice against the baby bath seats/rings–the idea was that they could tip over and trap the baby underwater. I can’t imagine a laundry basket would be much safer, and I don’t know how it would help anyway because it wouldn’t keep a baby sitting up, which is the primary difficulty with bathing little babies who can’t sit up on their own.

        • Anona Mama says

          05/05/2016 at 1:17 pm

          The laundry basket doesn’t help them sit – it prevents them from cracking their heads open on the tub.

      • Sarabeth says

        05/05/2016 at 12:16 pm

        We didn’t have one. It was fine. I took my kid into the bath or shower with me and sat her in my lap. We also discovered that you don’t have to bathe babies all that often (1x/week is plenty). The sponge bath method didn’t work for us because she got cold too easily.

      • Due in December says

        05/05/2016 at 12:39 pm

        I don’t think it’s necessary. We were glad to have ours, though. Sponge bath = baby gets cold = baby cries (but it’s over quickly, and baby didn’t need too many baths, especially as she was born in the winter). As soon as her umbilical cord fell off and we moved to the tub, baths became more enjoyable for her and us because she could loll about in the lukewarm water. And being able to let her lean her head back against a soft recline meant it was easier to actually get the small slippery baby clean (one hand didn’t have to be supporting her neck at all times). But again, not necessary.

      • Mrs. Jones says

        05/05/2016 at 1:09 pm

        We never used a baby bathtub. At first, we just did sponge baths by the sink, then we just put baby in the tub with a tiny bit of water.

      • In House Lobbyist says

        05/05/2016 at 2:33 pm

        For the second I got a sponge thing that you just squished into the sink. It was awesome as a newborn.

      • PhilanthropyGirl says

        05/06/2016 at 1:24 pm

        We had one of those fold-up bath seats to use once umbilical cord fell off. Early newborn baths were sponge baths on the dining room table. The bath seat was nice when he was wiggly, but not truly mobile/sitting up – it kept him contained and I wasn’t worried about him slipping or getting away fro me.

        Once he could sit up, we put down a no slip mat and let him sit in the tub. If you don’t want to get a mat, at my mom’s we always just put down a hand towel and let him sit on that. It kept his bottom from sliding around the tub.

    • Samantha says

      05/05/2016 at 12:31 pm

      My kid would start crawling all over the big bathtub, or pull herself up to stand on the spout, or bonk her head on it, or slip in the tub and so on. It was hard to keep her contained. And I would have to keep both hands on her! So I used a small baby bathtub and put it into the bigger tub, filled the small tub with water (also environmentally better) and put in some toys and that helped contain her (sort of) as she was busy pouring the water out or splashing it, but only for a few minutes.

      • shortperson says

        05/05/2016 at 12:37 pm

        we had a baby bathtub the baby could recline in (4 moms), and she happily used it until about 10 months. it made bathtime so much easier and she still thinks of the bath as a place to sit still and play — at 19 months so far she’s only tried to stand up in the bath tub once. we got it as a handmedown and when we were done we were able to give it away almost instantly.

    • Due in December says

      05/05/2016 at 12:42 pm

      Thanks, all! I think we’ll try a bath or two sitting with her in the bathtub, but keep a Eurobath in the Amazon checkout (only a bit over $20, so seems like its worth avoiding the Craigslist hassle). Since she seems to like water, it may be worth it to have a bath so we can integrate it into a relaxing daily activity during the humid DC summers…

      • Lkl says

        05/05/2016 at 5:13 pm

        Showers are awesome too. We started around 4 months. Just held him from then until he could stand well, now at 14 mo we soap him up standing but rinse holding him. It was extra snuggle time for kiddo’s dad and often just fits into our schedule better.

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 12:43 pm

      I still use the Stokke Baby bathtub for my 2 year old (when we bathe him, he mostly takes showers now). We just found it so much easier to keep him contained, and only use the right amount of water. I agree it is not a necessity, but I think its a great product. It folds up, so it does not take up a ton of room.

      • Anonymous says

        05/05/2016 at 2:32 pm

        We alternate between showers for my 4.5 year old (on days we don’t wash hair) and baths using the baby tub (on days he washes his hair). We are in SoCal so try to be mindful of water usage. We have the Hoppop and he still fits (with legs bent).

  3. Another gear question - play yards? says

    05/05/2016 at 11:18 am

    Hi all,

    So I am hoping to buy a play yard for my kid as she’s approaching the scooting/crawling stage. I don’t need anything that can be used as a sleeping spot. Ideally, I just want something to keep her contained at home as she grows (that can withstand her pulling up, and that will let her see out pretty easily) and that we can potentially use outside/camping once in a while.

    Any recommendations?

    • AIMS says

      05/05/2016 at 11:43 am

      Why not get a pack n play? Some come with mosquito netting that would be great for outdoor camping.

    • NewMomAnon says

      05/05/2016 at 11:50 am

      Are you looking for something more like a big circular fencing system, or something smaller like a pack ‘n play but not? If it’s the latter, I second AIMS. If it’s the former, I looked at those circular enclosures once and realized that my kid would NEVER tolerate that and it just wasn’t worth the money.

      • OP says

        05/05/2016 at 12:43 pm

        Definitely not looking for a big circular fencing system, but something with a similar footprint to the PnP! We’re in a relatively small city apartment.

        • Clementine says

          05/05/2016 at 2:22 pm

          Guava Lotus Family Crib? No weight limit.

          • Sarabeth says

            05/05/2016 at 2:40 pm

            Cosign – best baby product I bought!

  4. NewMomAnon says

    05/05/2016 at 11:28 am

    I’m having all the Mom fails the last few weeks – snapping at my kid, hurrying her, grabbing her arm too roughly because we are “in a hurry,” walking ahead of her when she “isn’t listening” (i.e., being a toddler) and making her sprint to catch up with me (which leads to her falling, skinning knees, etc because see above regarding toddler). I know rationally that it’s all my anxiety (we aren’t actually late, and if we are, so what?). I also know that I’m seeing some signs of anxiety in her when we are together, and I understand why. And I’m so mad at myself for repeating the same cycle I grew up experiencing, even though I’m working so hard to break out of it.

    Sigh. Another day, another chance, right?

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 11:57 am

      I feel you. Sometimes I when I snap at my stepdaughter, I remind myself to apologize right away and say something like, “I’m sorry I sounded angry. I [had a bad day at work, am very tired – whatever the honest truth is] and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I am not angry with you.” She is older but I have found it humbling and also that it helps her when I acknowledge that I am being a human person with faults. It helps kids realize that adults aren’t always right, either.

      • Anon says

        05/05/2016 at 1:56 pm

        Yes, and as an aside, I’ve started doing this to my 4 year old. He has now started to do the same to me. He’s really, really good at naming his emotions. I think it’s been a good thing for him to learn.

    • Momata says

      05/05/2016 at 12:12 pm

      I have a kid at about the same age as yours. I also make myself apologize to her with an explanation as to why I behaved that way. I think the lowered tone helps to diffuse the situation, and she seems to listen to what I’m saying. Also, it makes the event stand out to me as something I don’t want to do / raises my consciousness in that moment. It also gives me a way to “make it up to her” by treating her with immediate respect. Finally, it keeps me from feeling guilty for days (adding to my stress and increasing the likelihood I will do something like that again).

      • NewMomAnon says

        05/05/2016 at 12:25 pm

        When I catch myself in the moment, I do apologize and let her know that “mommy is grumpy and needs to deal with her grumpy feelings better” and that kiddo didn’t do anything wrong. The last few weeks though, I’ve been snapping in the moment and then realizing my outburst was inappropriate hours or days later. Would it bring clarity or greater confusion to talk with her about that in a calm moment?

        • Goosebumpy says

          05/05/2016 at 12:48 pm

          If it’s just a matter of hours, maybe try talking to her at bedtime? Like, as she’s laying down in bed while you’re in the room–not while you’re trying to get her to brush her teeth or put on her pajamas….My husband will do that on days where he loses his temper with our three-year-old and it works really well. Plus, there’s always, ALWAYS a hug and an “I love you, Daddy”–absolution!

          • Spirograph says

            05/05/2016 at 2:12 pm

            I do this too. I also talk to kiddo about why what he was doing was making me frustrated, and what I expect tomorrow, which seems to help him be more cooperative.

            Preemptive strikes are sometimes effective, too (though far from foolproof). So if I know my son went to sleep later than usual, over breakfast we’ll talk about how it’s hard to be nice and a good listener when you’re tired, so he’s going to have to try EXTRA hard today to be a good listener, and I will be so proud if he can do it even though he’s tired. If we’re going somewhere and I think he might be difficult, we talk about what he can do to be a really good boy: eg, at the grocery store, it will make me happy and proud if you stay right next to the cart and ask me before you touch any of the things on the shelves. It helps kiddo and me focus on what my expectations are, so if he does something creatively obnoxious that I didn’t mention beforehand, I find the exploitation of loopholes more entertaining than annoying.

        • Momata says

          05/05/2016 at 1:49 pm

          I feel like it can’t hurt to remind her that you love her, that you are sometimes grumpy but it’s not her fault, and to try to talk about her anxiety you are noticing. If only because articulating those thoughts yourself can be a kind of mini-therapy for you, and sets a good pattern of earnest open communication with her.

  5. Anon says

    05/05/2016 at 11:32 am

    Perfect timing on these shoes!! I was looking for something comfortable that I can wear with skirts / dresses rather than my standard ballet flat. Bonus, I can wear these with slacks to give me poor go-to Taryn Rose flats a break. The TR just aren’t the same since she sold the company, and mine are about dead.

  6. FTMinFL says

    05/05/2016 at 11:41 am

    Hi ladies,

    Do any of you have experience with a nanny payroll service you would recommend? We are planning to hire our first nanny in the next few weeks. Thank you!

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 12:45 pm

      We used homepay. Very easy to use and no problems.

  7. Another pregnant anon says

    05/05/2016 at 11:52 am

    Has anyone out there with an Uppababy Mesa carseat been able to find a lightweight stroller that is compatible? I read somewhere online that the BabyTrend Snap N Go might be compatible but before I order it to try it out, I am wondering if anyone has personal experience. TIA!

    • Clementine says

      05/05/2016 at 12:04 pm

      I was going to buy a mesa, but the ladies here talked me into the Cybex Aton 2. It had all the features of the Mesa I liked (Euro belt path for the win!), but was lighter and fit more easily into smaller cars.

      I know I’m not answering your question, but we use our Cybex with a City Mini GT with adapters and it’s awesome.

      • Another pregnant anon says

        05/05/2016 at 12:18 pm

        Thanks Clementine, unfortunately for a multitude of reasons, we are stuck with the Mesa :(

        • Clementine says

          05/05/2016 at 12:24 pm

          It’s a really lovely carseat! Sorry I couldn’t help, but I promise you’ll be fine.

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 12:54 pm

      Do you have a “big” stroller yet? We have a Mesa + Cruz combo, and I love it. I find the Cruz way easier to navigate than a Snap N Go, which have horrible steering and just seem really clunky to me, and the Mesa snaps right in since they are both the same brand. And Cruz, while not as big and bulky as the Vista, is transitioning really well for us as the “real” stroller now that baby has outgrown his bassinet (we also bought the UB brand bassinet and used that for sleeping and walks).

      • Another pregnant anon says

        05/05/2016 at 1:42 pm

        So we bought the Vista because we would love to have a second baby soon and figured this way we could grow into it. The issue that I just thought of (after reading someone else’s comment on a different thread) is that my mom will be taking care of the baby once a week and she is very petite and has some issues with her hands so I am concerned now that the Vista may be too heavy and bulky for her.

    • Anon says

      05/05/2016 at 1:22 pm

      Just buy the Cruz! It is def light enough for the period where you are still clicking an infant carseat into the stroller. We had the Cruz/Mesa combo and LOVED it.

    • Anon says

      05/05/2016 at 2:34 pm

      So I was all excited and got the Mesa and the Vista because it is all interchangeable and YAY!

      Cool – except, in real life, I never ever leave baby in the carseat and click it onto the stroller to use that way. When he was tiny I’d either wear him in a carrier or transfer into the bassinet on the vista, and when a bit bigger, I got the infant insert for the regular Vista seat (he seemed to enjoy being able to look around more than the bassinet).

      In hindsight, I wish I’d bought the lightest infant seat I could find (Nuna Pipa, I think) because hauling the seat into daycare every morning (husband picks up, we got 2 bases) about broke me. I’ve already purchased a convertible for my car at 8 months because of it!

      Occasionally my husband leaves him in the car seat if he has to run into a store on the way home, and just puts the carseat into the big part of the shopping cart, but that only lasted the first 6 months until baby could sit up, and now husband puts him in the cart. We did get one of those cart covers to make it more comfy.

      The Vista is pretty heavy – it is really a beast. But so nice to push and use around town.

  8. Anon says

    05/05/2016 at 12:09 pm

    I don’t know what I’m looking for here, as I doubt there is any standard advice for this situation. I have 2 weeks left on my 12-week maternity leave and my mom went into the hospital suddenly a week ago and has been intubated and heavily sedated for a week. She has a 20-60% survival rate, and it could be 3-4 weeks before we know which way it will go. I am extremely close with her. My parents live a block away and I talk to her on the phone 1-2 times a day. The thought of having to go back to work without her support or even being able to talk to her about it is heart wrenching for me. I am hoping by that point I will have at least stopped crying on-and-off for most of the day. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this situation I would really appreciate it.

    • grey falcon says

      05/05/2016 at 12:18 pm

      Was yours a true maternity leave? (Assuming you are in the US based on the length.) If so, you should still have an entitlement to FMLA leave (if your company qualifies) and/or your vacation time. In your situation, unless you work for an ogre, I would not hesitate to explain the situation to your boss and ask to use one of these to extend your leave. Most reasonable people will see that this is terribly difficult situation for you and that they will get a more productive worker back if they can be flexible with your start date. As an additional selling point, it is likely much less disruptive for them continue whatever measures are in place to cover your work rather than have you come back and transition everything only to find out that you need to be out again.

      Also, be kind to yourself. This is incredibly difficult. If the house is not clean or the baby does not get tummy time every day or formula makes it easier to be able to spend time with your mom (I hate that this even suggests there’s a problem with formula, but I also know where the pressure comes from), or you haven’t had the chance to get a haircut since the baby was born, it doesn’t matter. What matters is spending time with your family– new and old– and supporting each other.

    • anon for this says

      05/05/2016 at 12:31 pm

      I don’t know that you can do FMLA after your maternity leave – I thought they were concurrent? (at least, that’s what I heard about STD and FMLA)

      I just wanted to say hugs, and do whatever you need (work from home, take unpaid leave, etc) to deal with this time.

      Finally, I wanted to share something to prepare you: my brother died while I was on a long vacation, and I subsequently worked remotely and then traveled for work, so that I was out of the office for probably 3-4 weeks. When I got back, many people asked about my “vacation”. Cue the sobs and the rage about how pretty much from the minute I found out he died (and I was at a resort in the south of France), nothing was a vacation. Period.

      Just like for you, this is not “maternity leave” in the sense of what most people think – you’re going through so much more. I hope coworkers are sensitive, but I wanted to warn you they might not be. If you think it will help, I would tell a friend at work and have them spread the word so that when you do return, it’s not all “omg! let’s see some pictures of that cute baby!” and you’re about to fall apart. SO many hugs.

    • Meg Murry says

      05/05/2016 at 12:34 pm

      I am so so sorry. Can you rally up the rest of your support team (are H’s family nearby and would they be willing to step in and help when needed)? Were you planning to use a nanny and is there any chance she could start a little early so you could spend more of these last 2 weeks off with your mom or supporting your dad?

      Is there anyone from your office that you are close-ish to – a boss, mentor or coworker that you could let know what is going on, so it isn’t “surprise! I’m back to work but in the middle of a family crisis so now I’m gone again!”

      Or if you don’t want us to talk logistics to you but just to have us sympathize, we’re here for that.

    • Onlyworkingmomintulsa says

      05/05/2016 at 12:35 pm

      No suggestions, but I am so sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard, especially with a newborn.

    • EP-er says

      05/05/2016 at 12:46 pm

      I’m so sorry about your mother. I would contact HR and find out what your options are for extending your leave by a month or so. It will be easier on the company if things just chug along like they are now, than if you return for a week or two & then leave again. Where I work, we get STD, then once that is exhausted, we can take up to 12 additional weeks for FMLA unpaid. Additionally, we have a “Dependent Care Leave” that is good for up to a year, again unpaid. I think it would be worth it for your own sanity to take the extra time now to be with your mother. Hugs to you!

    • MDMom says

      05/05/2016 at 12:54 pm

      I am so sorry. You need to talk to your boss and ask for more time, unpaid or whatever you can take. Don’t try to go back to work in the middle of this crisis.

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 3:22 pm

      My mother was diagnosed with cancer 2 and a half months into my three month maternity leave, so I feel your pain. I’m so sorry you are going through this. FMLA ran consecutive with my leave, so I had to ask permission for unpaid time off. It was a stretch for us, but completely worth it. I took an extra month. If you are able to, take the time. You could also consider asking to come back part time, or taking vacation. Talk to HR, they deal with these situations all the time.

    • Spirograph says

      05/05/2016 at 4:23 pm

      I’m so sorry about your mother, and I hope she makes a full recovery.

      I second everyone else who said to reach out to your leadership for more time. For me, FMLA and STD / leave ran concurrently, so in your position, I would have had no FMLA remaining to account for the extra time off… but FMLA is only there to protect in the even that your leadership would otherwise terminate your employment. With approval, and within company policy, there’s no reason you can’t take more time. There’s no way, as a manager, I would demand that you come back to work as scheduled in this situation, no matter what was going on in the office. In fact, from a practical perspective, they already have coverage for you in place, so shouldn’t be too disruptive. I hope things work out for you.

  9. grey falcon says

    05/05/2016 at 12:21 pm

    Tiny Tot is now definitely cruising, which has transformed everything in our house into a potential death trap. Especially in the kitchen, which is open plan and connected to the living room. (Bottom freezer fridge with a swing door: not so great for now.) Can anyone recommend non-terrible methods for securing cabinet and appliance doors? Preferably ones that don’t trash the cabinets, but I’m open to everything.

    • NewMomAnon says

      05/05/2016 at 12:32 pm

      I found some magnetic cabinet locks on Amazon that use a removable 3M adhesive instead of screws – they are expensive and I don’t think they would work for a freezer/refrigerator, but they have worked well in my rental apartment. The ones that use screws won’t trash your cabinets; the screws might leave a couple little holes in the door (the inner catch screws to the upper cabinet frame, so you wouldn’t see those holes anyway), but they are easy to fill in with wood filler later. I have some of the ones that link two cabinet handles together to lock the doors shut and those have done far more damage by rubbing on the wood doors.

      My other suggestion: rearrange your kitchen so the lower cabinets contain only child-safe objects (pots, pans, tupperware, bottles, kid dishes, etc.) and resign yourself to a mess for 6-8 months.

    • Samantha says

      05/05/2016 at 12:35 pm

      Amazon has a whole section on baby proofing stuff including different types of cabinet locks (on the outside, on the inside, adhesive, magnetic with a key) etc. Go to town with it! At one point of time I was probably single handedly keeping the “Safety 1st” brand in business!

    • anon says

      05/05/2016 at 12:42 pm

      We used the screw-in magnetic cabinet locks and they were great. Left only small holes on the inside of the cabinets. They don’t open at all without a key so there’s no room for pinched fingers.
      Is the freezer door light enough that baby can operate it? If not, I wouldn’t worry about it yet.

    • Anonymous says

      05/05/2016 at 2:16 pm

      Just get a pack n play? If you want a bigger one, Joovy has some that are a bit bigger than the traditional pack n play. If you have a corner of the apartment you can spare, you may be better off making a play “corner” with some baby gates and bookshelves. That’s what we did in our basement.

    • jen says

      05/05/2016 at 2:50 pm

      We did the sponge bath in the bathtub (put towels on the bottom of the tub). We prevented the baby from getting cold by keeping a warm wet washcloth over her, as well as making sure the bathroom we did this in was warm (space heater/ heat lamp/ pre steamed the bathroom). We had an infant tub too but it was a pain to store so we ditched it ASAP and only used it on occasion.

  10. Ms B says

    05/05/2016 at 3:26 pm

    We liked and still use the Safety First Grip n Go Cabinet Locks wherever possible, plus the inexpensive latches that come in the Safety First box set (contains doorknob covers, drawer latches, and a couple other things) at Target. As a bonus, my MIL cannot operate them, so that keeps her out of things as well.

    We took the knobs off of the stove if they were not in use and filled two cabinets with all plastics or metal cookie sheets so that we would not have to close them off. There are fridge locks out there, but The Kid had no interest in the fridge during the toddler years.

    • grey falcon says

      05/05/2016 at 7:56 pm

      I had to come back and say that this made me spit Diet Coke at my computer: “As a bonus, my MIL cannot operate them, so that keeps her out of things as well.” Hilarious!

    • Anonymous says

      05/06/2016 at 11:32 am

      Seriously, I am busting out to Target at lunch for a pack of those.

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