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- Ann Taylor – Mid-Season Sale: extra 40% off; extra 20% off sale styles; 40% off new spring styles
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Kid/Family Sales
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Hi all! I know a few of you have recommended the Bluna adjustable KF94 face masks for kids, they seem to work really well for my son whose face I have trouble fitting – but had a quesiton – what do you guys do with the ends of the loops after you adjust them? Is there a way to tuck them in the mask or something? They look sort of odd on either side of his face. I know aesthetics are not important in this context but wanted to figure out if I’m just missing sometihng. Thanks!
Anon says
Did anyone else have a kid who just wouldn’t learn their letters? I’ve typically not been one to stress over milestones but kid is 4.5 and still won’t learn letters, sounds, etc. We’ve tried handwriting without tears, hooked on phonics, flashcards, iPad games, you name it. Meanwhile other friends’ kids are reading already. I feel like an awful parent both because I can’t get her interested but also feel bad for getting stressed out over it (and I know she senses me stress which I’m sure makes it worse). Honestly just looking either for commiseration that you’ve been there or tips of anything that helped.
Anonymous says
Just stop! You can revisit this in 6 months. It’s fine for a four and a half year old to just play. Read books to your child for fun and call it a day.
Spirograph says
This. Unless this is part of an overall language delay, don’t worry about it at all. You don’t mention that she has trouble speaking or pronouncing words, so ignore what any of the other kids are doing and figure she’ll get it when she gets it.
I might check in with the preschool teachers (assuming she’s in preK) and see how they’re approaching it. The only thing that would concern me is if they’re somehow messaging to her that she’s “behind” or otherwise comparing her negatively to other kids. If they’re happy just letting her play and continuing to expose her to letters to pick up in her own time, I’d be happy too.
AwayEmily says
I feel like my kid “got” letters somewhere between 4 and 5, so that seems pretty on track to me. She started learning her letter sounds at around 5. We didn’t do any of those things at home, though, so it mostly happened through casual osmosis in preschool (they don’t do formal instruction but it’s a mixed-age classroom and some of the older kids were into letters). I’m not in a particular rush for her to read and would rather outsource most of that to kindergarten, TBH. I think your instinct about not stressing her out is right — better she learn to read at 6 and enjoy the process then learn to read at 5 and hate the process.
Anonymous says
The single best thing we did for learning letters ways buy an alphabet Bingo game off of Amazon. Otherwise, we’ve let school handle everything else.
Anonymous says
I would let this be the school’s problem. Talk to the PK teacher. If they are not concerned, don’t be.
So early! says
Coming from Germany, this is so interesting to me, I had no idea that kids learned letters/reading so young in the US. Are kids required to know how to read once they start school? And if so, is kindergarten (where I assume they learn how to read) mandatory? We might move to the US in two years when my son will be 4, so I guess I need to start looking into all of that…
I didn’t learn how to read until I started first grade at age 7 and that was true for all of my classmates.
Sorry, not a helpful reply to OP…
Boston Legal Eagle says
Around here, kids don’t need to be able to read to start K, and I’m not sure of what the requirements are for 1st grade. I think K is when they start teaching reading, but again, I’m not sure whether you need to be able to do it at the end to “pass” (I have a feeling not). I think K is mandatory unless you choose a homeschool option.
Anonymous says
Varies by state. In many states kindergarten is not mandatory. (In my state kid has to start the school year in which they are 6 by September 1, which for most kids is first grade).
TheElms says
Some school systems expect Kindergarteners to be able to read (starting to read) at the start of the year. (I live in such a school system). It is beyond crazy. However, the reality is that most kids learn to read in Kindergarten even in my school system.
Anonymous says
Right. So your school doesn’t require it. No public school in the country has reading as a requirement to enter K. That’s not legal.
TheElms says
I never said “require” I said “expect”.
blueberries says
In California, school isn’t mandatory until age 6. However, it would be extremely unusual to skip kindergarten.
Kids aren’t expected to know how to read when they enter kindergarten where I am (Palo Alto). They’re expected to know some things about letters, like writing their names. I think they go over each letter in kindergarten, so it’s no big deal if kids don’t already know all their letters.
GCA says
I didn’t grow up in the US so am on an adventure through the MA school system along with my now first-grader. Our school didn’t expect K kids (age 5-6) to enter knowing how to read, and I don’t think they were even expected to be reading fluently at the end of the year at age 6, though the kids generally seem to be familiar with lots of short CVC and sight words (‘cat’, ‘run’, ‘find’).
Anonymous says
It really varies. Where we live, kids are expected to recognize their letters and be able to write their letters and their names but not necessarily to be reading at the beginning of K. In first grade, however, they are expected to read and analyze chapter books and to write organized paragraphs independently. I don’t know how a kid could possibly go from not reading to that level of skill in just one year of group instruction in kindergarten.
I think 3 – 4 is the ideal age for most kids to learn to read, and that reading is most easily and enjoyably taught at home. TV and videos are fun and effective tools for teaching letters, letter sounds, sight words, and phonics, and being read to by a parent is essential.
Anonymous says
Hahahahaha what? Like. You just made that up. Zero research would agree with you that 3-4 is ideal. Please don’t dump that silliness on the rest of us.
Anon says
Lol +1. There’s even been some research showing the ways kids learn to read and write at very young ages (like, the brain pathways they develop) are not the most efficient and may lead to struggles down the road. The “ideal” time from a development standpoint is probably 7.
ElisaR says
thank you
Boston Legal Eagle says
3-4 is very very young to be able to read! Recognize letters, sure, but full on reading? No way, definitely not the average.
Anonymous says
IDK, most of the kids in our university preschool were reading at some level in Pre-K. They just kind of picked it up at home. Public K was a different story, but I assumed that was because the parents didn’t read to them.
Spirograph says
wow. Yes, because public school is the exclusive domain of kids with disinterested parents. /sarcasm
(My kids have been read to nearly every day of their lives. I never made it a goal for them to be early readers, just for them to love books. You get what you measure. *shrug*)
Anon says
I’d be worried about kids getting burnt out and not enjoying reading if they learned between 3 and 4.
One of mine had memorized most of his books at that age and could do clever guesses based on context so he might fool you into thinking he could read… but for long lasting true learning to read (blending sounds and phonics), it’s just now kicking in at 5. He’s known his letters and sounds for a very long time, but we didn’t want to push him because he looooves books and being read to and flipping through them himself.
Anon says
Way late responding here, but just want to say that university preschool is NOT representative of the general public. How can it be? The children are all parents of people who have PhDs!! That’s obviously not a representative sample of the population. Also I don’t think reading is normal at 3-4 at all, even among bright, highly educated populations. My 3.5 year old is the youngest kid in her mixed age 3-5 classroom and there a couple kids who are reading already but it’s not the norm at all. My kid knows a bunch of letters and is starting to work on some letter sounds but is *nowhere* close to reading, and her teachers have given us the impression she’s above average, certainly not below average. Our university preschool is well known for over-preparing kids for our excellent public school district where reading is NOT expected at the start of K. Or first, for that matter – the majority of children learn to read in first grade in our public schools, though there are outliers on both sides. The idea that most or even many children should be reading by 4 is insane. And early reading is not correlated with later academic achievement, by the way.
Anon says
3-4 is a joke right? I have found with both my kids that just after 5 or around 5 1/2 things start to click and anything before that is memorization, not reading.
I wouldn’t worry about your kid at 4.5. I feel like there’s a cognitive leap that happens and suddenly it comes together, but that cognitive leap was slightly later for us!
for the German poster, I’d say it’s more age than grade level. DD was able to read easy words and write her name going into kinder. She just started first and is blazing through the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by herself and generally can read most things. The progression was fast!
Anonymous says
For everyone thinking this is true, take comfort that my 11 year old knew basic letters upon entering K (some peers did not). She became a super strong reader in K/1 and never stopped. She’s always gotten top grades, 99% on standardized tests, and has a profound love of reading. Last time she tested she was reading at a collegiate level.
I did nothing other than get her a library card and allow her to go there to her heart’s content.
Anon Lawyer says
My understanding is that the research shows that early reading is not any kind of predictor of success – some kids’ brains just get there more quickly than others. Conversely, being exposed to books and read to by parents is absolutely a predictor of success!
Anon says
You sound like a poopcup. Do you have more than one child, if you did you’d see how no matter how much you read to both, some kids cannot get it by age 5.
Anonymous says
In my state, school is compulsory for all kids who will be age 6 by September 30. Our district requires kindergarten, so we get a lot of redshirted kindergarteners who are 6 before they even start K. Even for kids who are not redshirted and turn 6 during the year, it seems awfully cruel to me for a 6-year-old to be stuck in kindergarten.
EDAnon says
Cruel? That’s a harsh word for a pretty standard activity. I have a son that turns 6 in September so will be 6 for most of K. I don’t see sending him the K on schedule as in any way cruel.
Anonymous says
My MIL taught grade 2 for 30 years (+). her advice is: if your kid is otherwise interested in listening to stories / engaged in school she wasn’t worried about them starting in her class unable to read. By the time you get to the end of grade 2, any child not reading when they left her class probably needed some special intervention (age 7 + depending on bday).
Spirograph says
None of my kids could read anything but their names before Kindergarten. In my area K doesn’t expect kids to come in reading, but does expect them to be able to recognize and name letters. (Still, OP, you have at least another whole year!) K pushes reading pretty hard and expects something like 50 sight words by the end of the year, but my oldest struggled a lot until midway through 1st grade. He’s still not a strong reader for his age, but is on grade level and likes listening to books, so I’ll take it.
anon says
Gently, you can relax about this a bit. 4.5 is still young. My DD learned her letters just fine at preschool but had ZERO interest in working on them at home. I decided I was OK with that tradeoff. I have several early elementary teachers in my life, and they all say the most important thing you can do is read with your kid. Learning to read before kindergarten is NOT mandatory or necessary.
Cb says
Yeah, my son is a bit younger, and he loves stories and knows his letters, but is resistant to anything that looks like lessons. And a friend who is a early reading specialist reassured me that the best thing you can do for reading and writing is to read loads and let them play with playdough and lego (to strengthen the little muscles in their fingers).
anon says
My daughter didn’t know all her letters when she started kindergarten (I’m in CA, and she is a May birthday, so she was 5 when she started). She was definitely in the bottom of her class at the time (I volunteered with reading groups so I know this as a fact), but it was totally not a big deal in school. FWIW, she was at grade level by halfway through kindergarten.
Since we did have to do remedial letters (as I called it), some of the things I did that she really liked were practicing in the shower (drawing in the steam) and letter beads.
Her older brother did know his letters but was behind grade level, and I was very stressed about it. My stressing definitely made it worse. I stopped reading with him because it was clearly not productive. In my case, I had him do it with his nanny, but definitely something to be said about taking a break from your stress!
anon says
I am a first time mom so what do I know about when kids start with letters and reading. My kid (3.5) is obsessed with this youtube-able show called Letter Factory by Leapfrog. (Warning the songs/jingles will get in your head…”every letter makes a sound, the S goes SSSSsssss” over and over). She also has an ipad (mostly for travel) with some games with letters and sounds from “Starfall”. There is a free version with the basics but you can pay to get more games.
we did try teaching her to draw letters and stuff but she quickly got bored, annoyed. I am leaving that to preschool. but the show/games seem to generate some interest in letters.
Anonymous says
So your kid still has another full year before kindergarten. It’s fine. A year is a HUGE amount of time in kid years. Back off with the at home programs and let pre-K gently introduce letters in a fun way. Ours does “letter of the week show and tell”. My child only got interested at 4 and now knows her letters and half her sounds, but I am SURE there are plenty of kids in her class who aren’t interested yet. Kids are all over the place when they learn letters and read. Earlier is not better, and your child is not late. Our school district does expect them to know letters and sounds by halfway through the year, but I think American kindergarten standards are ridiculously inappropriate. They expect kids to be pretty much reading by the end of the year and that used to be a first grade standard.
Io says
Just FYI, American children learn letters and literacy younger than ANY OTHER CHILDREN in the WORLD.
It’s obscene. Fins don’t start teaching reading until age 8. Swedes actually called out England for teaching reading at 5. https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2007/nov/22/earlyyearseducation.schools
Anonymous says
I mean, it’s one thing for there to be Formal Instruction and another thing for kids to be exposed to letters and wordplay at home. I cannot believe there is any harm in alphabet fridge magnets and talking about letters, letter sounds, rhyming, etc casually at home. My 36 month old second child was in hysterics today talking about all the words he could think of that begin with T, but (a) he can’t READ nor will we be teaching him to and (b) I would not expect more than some sight words before 1st grade. I would not worry at 4, but would make sure you have some alphabet play materials around somewhere and that you are sometimes taking about sounds, playing with rhymes, etc.
Anonymous says
Your 3-year-old*
Anon says
hahaha thank you. No month descriptions allowed past 24! Even that is pushing it.
Anon says
What if anything are they doing to teach letters at school? My 3.5 year old just started a mixed age pre-K classroom where they have a “letter of the week” and they talk about the letter so much that most kids seem to pick it up. They’re only on C now so it’s not clear how well they’re going to retain A/B/C once they get to like R/S/T but so far it seems to be a more effective method for my kid than previous methods of learning letters. If the school isn’t teaching letters at all, you could consider moving your child to a slightly more academic program. Not like an actual school where they make the kids sit down and do worksheets and stuff (that sounds so horrible to me) but there are plenty of play-based programs like mine where they weave learning letters and numbers into the kids’ play.
Best tips for increasing milk supply says
What are your best tips for increasing milk supply? My daughter is 11 months and my goal is to b-feed exclusively until she’s a year, and then wean over the following 4-6 weeks. My period came back 2 months ago and my supply has taken a huge hit – which was surprising since I was such an overproducer for so long (and have a significant freezer stash as a result). I’d rather not dip into the stash too much until she’s after 1 year, though, so I’m hoping to get my supply back up for the next 1-2 months. What worked for you?
JL says
Is the issue that there isn’t enough when she nurses or you are having a hard time pumping enough? I remember going through the latter, and it was stressful at the time, but looking back I think it is a natural part of baby’s development as they progress with solids. KIddo had dropped a nursing session at home on the weekends but hadn’t dropped a bottle at daycare. Looking back, I’d talk to daycare about transitioning away from one of kiddo’s bottles completely (no substitute with a different milk product). If baby is driving this, which I think is common at that age, you might have a tough time increasing supply. Other than that, my suggestion is to make sure the weekends match the weekdays. If you’re trying to pump/nurse more often on the weekdays than pumping/nursing sessions on weekends, I’d add some weekend pumping.
Best tips for increasing milk supply says
There is enough when she nurses – she’s never not satisfied. She’s a champ when it comes to solids so I think it’s a natural winding-down. But she gets 2 bottles per day during the week (nanny) and I don’t pump as much as I used to for the bottles. She downs them VERY FAST and so I actually think she’s only drinking a 5oz bottle b/c she is literally chugging it, b/c on the weekends, if she’s getting approximately 3oz from me during a mid-day session, she’s totally fine with that.
CHL says
Obviously you do you, but I guess I’m wondering why this is such a big deal and is maybe a natural transition. 11 months is really close to 12, your period is back etc. Are you fighting towards an arbitrary number for a specific reason? For me, weaning was a bittersweet transition.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I’d just stop fighting and add some formula or your extra supply if needed for the next month. She has gotten and will get the benefits with even just some b-milk!
anonM says
This. Don’t beat yourself up for the last month. 11 months exclusive is awesome. And then you can still breastfeed and enjoy the last bits of this special stage (instead of it being really stressful and pumping, etc.) but not do it exclusively and more naturally wean.
Be says
It’s important to me to make it to a year, and it’s important to me to have as much milk as possible in reserve so that she can continue to have breastmilk for many months post-weaning (for the Covid immunity, since I was vaccinated post-partum so it didn’t pass to her via placenta, but she’s getting something from my milk and something is better than nothing).
Spirograph says
I understand this is important to you, but you are fighting your body at this point. I don’t know that there’s much you can do to increase supply nearly a year post partum and when your period has re-started. You can try eating oatmeal and all the other lactation aids, and adding pumping sessions to stimulate the supply and demand loop, but this is biology. Your baby is getting nutrition from other sources at this point, so your body is refocusing resources on itself.
NYCer says
+1. Dietary changes are not going to make much of a difference at this point. If I were you, I would dip into your freezer stash or add a bit of formula, and stop stressing about it.
ElisaR says
gently… i agree and props for all you’ve done thus far
Runner says
Awww I get it! So my pump ran out of gas around 7-8 months. You could look into that? I decided not to buy a new one because I was sort of out of gas myself. But you could rent a hospital grade pump (when I did that right at the beginning of having our twins at home it was $100 per month). I bet that would up your supply a bit and it sounds like the cost might be worth it to you.
Anonymous says
It’s worth a try, but I rented a hospital-grade pump and even that stopped working for me around 9 months or so. There is only so much you can do to fight your body.
No Face says
I agree with the others. Your body and your baby seem to be moving on. Baby is satisfied with what you are producing, and food will be her primary source of nutrition. You are menstruating again despite breastfeeding. She’s had a year of whatever COVID immunity breastmilk provides, and it sounds like you can have her drink more from your stash. The postpartum/breastfeeding chapter seems to be closing, so just savor it instead of making it a high-intensity struggle.
Anonymous says
This is just how it works!
Hmmm says
I tried everything and honestly not much helped! I ended up supplementing with formula and extra solids and am still doing morning and night at 14 months (did the same thing past 18 months with my first but also had to supplement between 8-12 mos.)
You are doing solids also, right? If not you should definitely check in with your pediatrician as true exclusive breastfeeding until a year is not recommended by any medical association that I’m aware of.
Hmmm says
I should have added that I was very very emotional about adding formula for some reason. But once I started doing it here and there I realized it really isn’t a big deal and it took a lot of pressure off. Some days I didn’t need to supplement at all and even had extra to carry over.
The only other thing you might try is a calcium/magnesium supplement. I did add that the second half of each month and it helped (though not super dramatically or anything)
Hmmm says
Last thing – with my first I made myself keep a big milk stash and then we never ended up using all of it and had to throw it away! So I say use up the stash sooner than later.
Best tips for increasing milk supply says
Yes, we introduced solids at 5.5 months. She gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner (all solids and a huge variety – she’s a really great, non-picky eater, which I know is luck of the draw!), and then she nurses or gets a bottle at wake-up, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and bedtime. She is a great eater.
By b-feed exclusively, I meant my goal was b-milk and not supplementing with formula. And I 100% believe that fed is best. It is just a personal goal.
Pogo says
You’ve gotten great responses about other options so I won’t pile on, but for actually increasing supply, try replacing your pump parts. Then add a pumping session. That’s the only way to increase supply.
Tea/Coffee says
Totally understand! So at this late point (given your daughter’s age) the standard “drink water eat lots” advice definitely still holds, but won’t have too much of an impact. Are you watching your food at all, ie trying to get back in shape? If so, decide which is more important to you right now.
I will say though, I nursed and pumped at work, and around 11 mos with both kids, my pumping output tanked. We just started sloooowly using up the freezer stash and incorporating a bit of cow’s milk. As PP’s have said, there’s nothing magical about 12 mos + 1 day.
Best tips for increasing milk supply says
Not watching food at all – I was back at pre-pregnancy size and shape months ago due to a combination of luck (genetics, easy pregnancy/recovery, baby who slept through the night very early on) and enjoying a bit of daily exercise. So I haven’t made any recent changes in diet, exercise level, etc.
I think I just hit my body’s pumping wall.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Dang, girl! I’m envious. I still look 5 months pregnant after DS #2 (was same with DS #1). I don’t drop the weight until weaning, even with healthy foods and exercise. DS #2 is almost 9 months, haha.
Congrats on making it so far with nursing!
Best tips for increasing milk supply says
Thanks, all! It seems the consensus is that we’ve had a great run, but that the run is slowing down and I should just savor it instead of fighting it. So I’ll just do that :) we’ll continue nursing until at least a year and just pull frozen milk as needed from my stash (I have enough frozen so that, even if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, she could stay on breastmilk until at least year and then switch to cow’s milk with no need to supplement with formula). I know formula is wonderful, but it was (and is) important to me that I provide her milk for her first year. And I can still do that even if it looks a bit different than how I imagined crossing the finish line!
I really appreciate the reality check (sincerely).
Anon says
Yeah, I actually think this will be fabulous – you’ll hopefully have an easy and relatively painless weaning process this way! Good luck!
AwayEmily says
This is such a gracious and genuine response. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Milk supply is biochemically linked to oxytocin production. Literally the best thing is org@sms. everything else is anecdote.
Help! says
Tips for getting yellow stains – especially the kind that you get around the neck sometimes? – out of old baby clothes? You all are better at this than me!
AnonATL says
Following. Everything light colored in the past two sizes have perma-stains on them even after oxyclean soaks.
Anon says
Fels Naptha or laying in the sun to dry.
Mary Moo Cow says
Oxy-Clean stain spray, left to soak, and then washed but not dried until the stain comes out (hot air sets the stain.) Unfortunately, I found my preferred Puracy stain fighter just didn’t cut it.
Anonymous says
Seventh Generation Ultra Power Plus, rubbed directly into the stain. Agree with Mary not to put the item in the dryer until the stain is gone.
OP says
Thanks all! These are all set. I’m going to try the Fels Naptha? Maybe for our next kid we’ll spray and get them out for before drying, although that may be wishful thinking, so paying attention to those recs too!
Anonymous says
Favorite shoes for almost-walkers with tiny feet? Most of the shoes I’ve looked at don’t come small enough, and we’re running out of days when my LO can play outside barefoot.
AwayEmily says
We had some luck with See Kai Run (the actual brand, not the Target line) and Livie & Luca with our small-footed baby. Both carried “pre-walker” shoes in small sizes (though I can’t guarantee as small as you need; it’s been awhile).
Anonymous says
The freshly picked moccasins are expensive but adorable and great for near- and new walkers.
TheElms says
Stride Rite and See Kai Run both go down to a size 3 in their first walker shoes. If those aren’t small enough I’d try Robeez First kicks. They have soft leather soles (some with rubber insert sections) but were durable enough for my kiddo to wear outside (as long as it wasn’t too wet — we had the ones with rubber inserts in the soles) and go down to 0-3month sizes.
AwayEmily says
Oh yeah I forgot about Robeez! Those worked really well for us too.
Anon. says
We loved Robeez for this stage. My youngest walked at 9 months and we got a ton of mileage out of both the leather and rubber soled Robeez.
Advance notice depending on your climate – Baby Bogs snow boots start at size 4. That’s the smallest I could find.
GCA says
I like a super flexible shoe for early walkers, and will sound like a broken record on this, but Skidders! They have a flexible, grippy sole with a socklike upper.
Anonymous says
These might be a little big, but the style looks perfect. I’ll double check foot measurements tonight. Thanks!
Anonymous says
All my kid started to walk before they were a size 3. I finally figured out that Old Navy carries infant shoes with real soles! They make them for size 6-12 months which was perfect for my kiddo.
Once she was a size 3, i second see kai run and striderite.
Language Immersion Daycare says
Would you send your child (1.5 years old) to an immersion daycare at which the only language spoken is one that you and your partner do not speak? We found an otherwise appealing daycare but are concerned about having our child start there before developing solid English skills. If he starts asking for milk or something in the other language while at home, we’ll have no idea what he is talking about and that could be frustrating for him.
Our child is currently enrolled at another daycare that is great except that the hours are not long enough and it’s one of the most expensive options in our area. The location is also not as convenient as the immersion daycare. There are a couple of other facilities we’ve toured where we would jump at the chance to enroll at instead, but unfortunately none of them anticipate having spots open in the next few months.
Yes! says
I would love it! I wish we had this option.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t have a problem with it as long as the staff would communicate effectively with me in English. I would probably consider it a plus.
Anonymous says
+1. this sounds awesome.
anon says
I’d definitely consider this! I’d ask the immersion daycare themselves. And, I would assume that, even if not required, the parents would learn basic phrases in that language. I also think it does depend on the language and if you and your partner have any experience learning another language. For example, if you and your partner both speak English, learning basic words in Spanish would be relatively easy and there are so many resources. But, what I would be more concerned with is a few years down the road – like learning enough to match 4 year old vocab. Another factor and reason to ask the school is their expectation for parents and how they communicate with you. Is there someone there to translate parent concerns to teachers that aren’t bilingual? Is the whole staff bilinual?
Spirograph says
Absolutely! Our kids went to a Spanish-speaking in-home daycare for a couple years when they were very young. The owner spoke excellent English, too, but she and the other caregivers spoke to the kids exclusively in Spanish. The kids still spoke mostly English among themselves, I think. About half of them had Spanish-speaking parents.
I don’t think my kids retained very much, but I like to imagine that it’s lying dormant somewhere in their little brains. T
DLC says
I’ve found that my children are very good at figuring out which language to use with which caregiver. We are by no means bilingual, but my kids have been in immersive environments in both Mandarin and Spanish and they have never used either of those languages with my husband, who only speaks English.
Anon says
Definitely. It is so great for kids to learn multiple languages and especially at this early age. I’d suggest you earn some basic words in the other language like milk and up and mom, and the daycare can probably help with that. Some kids who are in multiple language environments blend the languages or otherwise seem “behind” certain language milestones in the early years but then accelerate and are ahead before or by school age, so the research is very clear that exposure to multiple languages is a great benefit.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We did this and loved it at a Spanish immersion. While we didn’t love the school’s management, we adored the teachers and language. Caveat that DH and I are both proficient-fluent in Spanish, so we often used that to communicate with the teachers. I often use words/terms in my family’s mother tongue to my kids (not Spanish) so there’s some familiarity with different languages in our home, but I don’t know that it made a difference.
DS #1 is now in an English speaking school (we moved states) with no issue.
EDAnon says
Our son went to a Spanish speaking child care where only the director spoke English. We loved it, especially when he was a baby. But as he got older, it was harder to get details of how the day went and we worried some about communicating about complex issues (if they came up). My husband speaks Spanish quite well. I do not. We ended up switching him for other reasons (closer to home) and sometimes wish we’d stuck it out longer because he still knows some Spanish and he’d be so good if we’d kept him there (plus, he had no complex issues so it was a moot worry).
ifiknew says
Has anyone tried a friend that cooks? They are in a lot of cities and seem relatively affordable for those that are usually doing meal kits anyway and this is a personal chef concept and more tailored to what your family will eat. Heard great things locally, but wondering here. Thanks!
octagon says
We’ve lamented a lot here that the media coverage of Covid seems to be ignoring parents of young children, so I wanted to pass along this thoughtful article:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/09/16/covid-under-12-parents-vaccine/
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I think these are ALL the articles out there, though. While everything is tough and scary, I do think this is on the fear mongery end of things. What we need is actual GUIDANCE from science, not another piece reminding us how crappy it is.
(Btw, my disdain is not at all towards you, Octagon! Just the situation :)).
Boston Legal Eagle says
I kind of agree – parts of it were a little fear mongery. Like, I think statistically, kids have a higher chance of getting into a car accident and dying than dying from Covid. The risks from Covid are higher compared to other illnesses, but overall what are the risks and what are the risks on the other side? E.g. school is essential to me and outweighs the potential risk of Covid. Activities are a grayer area, but there is always a cost benefit analysis to all decisions.
Travel says
After avoiding travel for a long time, I have to go on an overnight trip for work (ugh). The problem is I’m still breastfeeding my 15 month old morning and night. Have not had any luck with the pump since about 11 months. What do I do? I’d rather not wean completely just yet if I can help it, but maybe this trip means the end.
Anonymous says
If it’s just one night, you’ll probably be fine. Bring a hand pump with you in case you get uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t worry about it missing a session or 3 being the death knell for nursing.
ElisaR says
pump and dump and return to regularly scheduled programming upon return.
will 15 mo. old go to bed without it?
Anonymous says
Kiddo gets a bottle of regular milk (warmed if kiddo prefers like mine did). You pump (regular or hand) to keep up your stimulation and dump if it isn’t enough to worry about.
GCA says
I weaned my first when he was 19-20 months, and I had some international work travel when he was ~16 months. At that point I was no longer pumping during the workday and just nursing AM and PM. So my primary concern was really just comfort – I pumped and dumped in the morning and at the end of the day to avoid soreness and make sure I wasn’t going to get mastitis. I was able to continue nursing when I got home. I know you said you haven’t had any luck with the pump, but perhaps a hand pump might work better? Bonus, no need to hunt for an outlet and much easier to fit into a carryon.
Camping with 14mo says
Husband and I are finally taking our son camping in a couple weeks. We have a large enough tent for all of us and are only doing 1 night to introduce the toddler to it. We will be in sleeping bags on sleeping pads, should I just put him in a kids sleeping bag on the ground between us in his super warm jammies? It won’t be cold here in the SEUS, but overnights in the 40s.
Anonymous says
I would put something insulating under him, ideally a sleeping pad.
Anonymous says
I’ve done it with a kid in a sleeping bag and warm jammies, and a kid in a pack and play in the tent. I was always worried about them being warm enough and they were fine – I would do cotton jammies under fleece jammies and add a fleece if needed.
Last time, we brought the full Lotus crib for the baby.
Kelly says
Counter intuitively, I’d recommend two nights. No one will sleep well the first night. The second night will be much better!! And then you’ll actually have time at camp that’s not setting up or breaking down camp. You’ll do great!!
OP says
Thanks! Husband and I are not novice campers luckily but first time with the kid. He’s a pita about sleeping when we travel. If we are in the same room, he refuses the travel crib even though he’s sleep trained. I think having him on the ground with us will keep him from waking up the whole campsite.
Luckily baby loves being outside so I’m only worried about sleeping arrangements and not the rest of the time.
DLC says
When I camped this summer with my kids (9, 4 and 1.5), the two older kids got their own sleeping bags and sleeping mats, and I slept with the toddler. I have two sleeping pads that clip together, cover it with a full sheet and unzip the sleeping bag to use it like a blanket- it’s a regular rectangular sleeping bag, not a mummy bag, but very warm. Toddler wore fleece footie pjs (or clean outfit for the next day) and a sweatshirt. Yeah, the travel crib in the tent thing did not work for us either. Also my toddler still nurses, so that and plenty of cuddles helped with the night wakings.
Anonymous says
I got up early this morning and made soup for my picky kid’s lunch. I just found out that her thermos opened up in her lunch box, so now she has a ruined lunch box and no soup and has to eat the school lunch that she had begged not to eat in the first place. Just the latest example of how I can’t do anything right as a parent or at work. Sigh.
NYCer says
Do not beat yourself up about that! While it is no-doubt frustrating to have your hard work go to waste, this is definitely not a big enough deal to qualify as not doing anything right as a parent. One day of school lunch (or even one day with no lunch) is not going to scar your child. She will probably forget about it entirely soon. We are all just doing the best we can!
anon says
Anon – if our kids have everything perfect every day, they learn no resilience. You’re human, they still had food available, and it’s ok if they don’t always get their way. You’re still doing things right as a parent. I think you might need a day off if you can!
ElisaR says
that sounds like something i would do.
is that comforting? probably not but i hope it might be a little bit.
EDAnon says
+1 I also have vivid memories of thermos leaks from when I was a kid and I turned out great (and never blamed my mom).
anon says
I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first and I do not care about work anymore. Normally I enjoy my work and care about it a lot. Now all I want to do is nest. I have a desk job and feel great so my apathy is all mental, not physical. Did anyone else feel this way in late pregnancy and if so, were you able to regain your prior work ethic after returning from maternity leave?
Anonymous says
100% normal. you’ll probably regain it sometime after your baby’s first birthday. :)
Anon says
Haha yup! I’m not sure I’ve ever regained the same type of work ethic – I just cannot care about meetings that should be emails and such anymore – but it is what it is!
I’m 36 weeks right now and DONE.
Anon says
Absolutely. I think mine started earlier at maybe 30 weeks…. and maybe even a bit earlier than that I started tuning out. I was absolutely rearing to go back to work at 10-12 weeks postpartum though, so I wouldn’t worry about it. I have been a great employee postpartum though my performance while pregnant was less than ideal.
An.On. says
Totally normal. I’ve been back at work about six weeks and I’ve been working incredibly hard since I’ve been back. I would say that I’m still having feelings of apathy and annoyance with the whole “going to work” process, but most of that is the particular circumstances of my office, which have become more toxic since I went on leave, and also feeling overwhelmed, and are not related to having a baby, except that maternity leave gave me a taste of not working with these lunatics anymore and I miss it.
JL says
I know that some variation of this question comes up regularly. But, here we go anyway. I am an attorney and am getting burnt out by keeping up with deadlines that matter to client rights. I’m toying with applying to some JD optional type positions that seem less stressful – I’d have less overall responsibility for matters. I am now at a medium sized law firm. I’d make less money but have real benefits most likely. I’d obviously investigate more throughout hiring processes about specific duties to determine if I’d really be giving up negative aspects of my job. My real question here is how do people come to terms with suddenly making less money by choice? It sounds very difficult.
Anon says
might you have more growth potential down the road in the path you’re consideirng? mid-tier law firm partners tend to cap out at a certain level and that’s it – perhaps if you’re transitioning to a buisness role you’ll have more possibilities later in your career?
anonM says
Following.
Anon says
I tell myself that time is money, and I am giving myself time. Also, I have come to a good point where money is not something I want more of – my JD optional job pays me well (130K plus bonus) and I do so little compared to previous attorney life that I feel like I’m getting paid way more per hour.
Anon. says
Same. Also in the time is money category, I get to take actual days off without worry of falling behind billable hours targets.
At some point you hopefully reach a financial threshold where more money doesn’t really add to quality of life that much – especially if you don’t have time to spend it.
I’m making 6 figures in a JD preferred role and my mental health is waaaay better than at my big law gig.
Anon at 12:54 says
Yes, this is a good point I forgot in my first comment. I have 4 weeks vacation (and I use it all without working on vacation) and 6 weeks fully paid sick time that I’ve used a lot of this pregnancy with no worries or concern. It’s fabulous.
Anon says
It helps if you’re spending less than you earn. I think it’d be difficult for me to cut back on a lifestyle I already had, but it was fairly easy for me to adjust to earning less since I was spending less than my new salary anyway. It did require some conversations with my husband regarding what lifestyle we want in the future. This choice means daycare, public schools, a more modest house/neighborhood etc. We happily made that decision (and so far it’s been totally worth it), but I would encourage you to really weigh the pros and cons.
CHL says
Agree – I have not traded down in money but have declined to “step up” if that makes sense. Even though it’s kind of juvenile, I think in terms of my annual hourly rate and have some specific lifestyle things that I can articulate as part of the life I want to have. I think stay focused on the lifestyle benefits you want to have and imagine that you have them and what it would cost to give them up, if that’s possible. You probably have “enough” money — focus on the things that you would do if you had more time and how they align with your values (E.g. time with family, health benefits of less stress, hobbies or trips you would take if you had the time, etc.)
Kid's cookbook? says
Hi, looking for a cookbook for my soon to be five year old’s birthday. We’ve kept it pretty basic in the kitchen but she loves to help with muffins, oatmeal, cake, etc, and I thought she would like picking out her own things to make. We eat a really wide variety of food, so pretty much any kind of cookbook would be fine. Any recommendations? Also would like to get her a set of kid knives if anyone has those to recommend too. Thanks!
Meg says
America’s test kitchen makes a great kids cookbook that has “real food” (not just sweets or pizza like some)
anonM says
Ditto. We have The Complete Baby and Toddler Cookbook and it has great smoothie recipes, family dinners with easy changes for toddlers, etc. I think America’s Test Kitchen would be the way to go.
DLC says
+1 to the America’s Test Kitchen Cookbook for young chefs. My nine year old can make recipes out of it in her own and everything in the book is really tasty.
Anon says
We use these with my now 4YO
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0751JFFYY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I haven’t tried it but BHG has a junior cookbook. The red plaid grown-up version was a staple for me learning to cook post-college.
Spirograph says
My just-turned-5-year-old wants to be a chef when he grows up so we have these things. He has a KAI My First Knife and it’s great. It’s sharp enough to be effective, but has a rounded tip and serrated blade so it won’t cut hurt on with offhand contact. It *can* cut skin if you’re not careful, but the only time my son has cut himself was when he was trying to slice through half an onion… in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have let him try that.
For his birthday, my mom got him “My Very First Cookbook” (it’s on amazon, blue cover) and I can vouch for the recipes being kid-friendly to eat and cook, and very tasty.
Spirograph says
Well I can’t type and talk at the same time, but you get the idea.
If you don’t already have one, another kitchen thing my kids think is really fun is a hand crank egg beater. That was also a birthday gift from grandma. She really knocked it out of the park this year!
Realist says
A recent piece in The Atlantic identified an FDA committee as the bottleneck on approving a vaccine for children under age 12. There is a comment period open for their meeting, but it closes at midnight. Please submit a comment to urge the committee to approve the vaccines as expeditiously as possible. They have been slow-walking the process and it is getting ridiculous. They need to expedite review of the safety data, which is anticipated imminently, and then get the vaccine on the market unless they have a strong and real safety concern.
Link to The Atlantic piece: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/09/parents-vaccines-covid-fda/620077/
Link to submit a comment to the FDA committee: https://www.regulations.gov/commenton/FDA-2021-N-0965-0001
anon says
thanks! I just submitted a comment.
Realist says
Thank you!
Realist says
Of course now the whole regulations.gov site appears to be down. Sigh.
Realist says
The site is back up!
anon says
This is quite possibly the stupidest question I’ve asked here, but here goes. My friend group is really into Halloween. Especially now that their kids are older and don’t need a parent chaperone for trick-or-treating. So they’re “taking back” the holiday and are enthusiastic about the idea of all of us dressing up in themed costumes to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids, which would require participation from all four of us to complete the theme the organizer(s) want. I do not want to do this. I have a first grader and am not ready to give up taking her around the neighborhood. Plus I couldn’t care less about adult Halloween. Anyway, I’ve hedged on all costume talk because I know that when I say no they’ll try to solve my “problem”: Have DH take DD! (Is it weird that my fun comes from seeing my kid enjoy the holiday?) Come for part of it! (No, I’m not spending $50 on a costume to hang out for 10 minutes and take pictures.) Why am I having such a hard time using my words and saying NO, this is not my thing, do this without me? I don’t want to be the lame friend that screws up the plan, but I want to spend time with my kid more. Is that so weird?
blueberries says
You have friends who want to hang out! Good problem to have. How about, “I’m really looking forward to spending Halloween with with [child], but I’d love to hang out another time.”
Anonymous says
None of that is weird! But you need to say no now so they can figure out another costume. The longer you wait to say no the more annoyed your friends will justifiably be. I have friends that hate to say no to things, so they just stall on it, and it is SO ANNOYING and means I can never really trust their commitments. Just say no!
Ilovekidhalloweendon'tloveadulthalloween says
I LOVE Halloween and have been so excited to trick or treat with my kids. My Dad trick-or-treated with us (my sibling and the similarly Halloween-loving neighbor kids) long past 1st grade. Like, life goals. I would ditch friends for sure. You can still be polite or funny about it, but yeah nope. (re-reading this comment, my midwestern is coming out. Not editing. :P). We now do pumpkin carving ahead of Halloween with those same neighbors and their kids and it’s the BEST. We’ve done costumes for that — maybe suggest this as an alternative so you aren’t missing out on anything!
anon says
Hmm, I like that idea. I’m self-conscious about changing the plan on a very excited group of people who are way more fun than I am. (Yes, heartily agree that I need to do it NOW).
Aunt Jamesina says
I would say something to them along the lines of “hate to be the party pooper, but I’ve been looking forward to trick or treating with my kid. Have fun!”. They’ll be fine, promise!