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I first saw these blocks when my youngest made a beeline for them at school.
This set of barked blocks includes blocks of varying heights made from reclaimed and sustainably harvested materials. Like any other blocks, they can be configured and stacked in infinite ways.
My youngest and his classmates like to make habitats for their miniature animals. I’m sure they also have fun knocking them down.
This set of 36 classic tree blocks is $63.98.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Anon says
If you were taking a 14-hour flight with a 3-year old, would you fly direct or do a layover?
Anon says
Probably direct, but I’m a little confused about the question. Presumably the travel will take a lot longer if you have a layover. If it’s somehow possible to have a layover and get there faster (e.g., because it means less driving on one end) then I’d consider that.
anon says
I’d do whatever possible to avoid any chance of getting stuck in a layover city.
Flying overnight so the 3 yo will sleep would be my preference. Dinner and breakfast on the plane are also good activities.
Anon says
I wouldn’t count on sleep on the plane at that age. My kid didn’t start consistently sleeping on overnight flights until the age of 4, and I have friends with older kids who still won’t sleep. But at least at 3 there’s a good chance they can entertain themselves (with the help of screens) for some decently long chunks of time so you can sleep.
anon says
The white noise on planes knocked my kids out almost instantly if they were tired at that age. It’s a know-your-kid situation.
Anon says
It’s definitely possible a kid that age will sleep, it’s just not something I would count on or expect. Then if it happens you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
AwayEmily says
Yup, total crapshoot. I was SURE my kids would sleep when we took a long flight this summer. The flight was right around bedtime, they are excellent sleepers in general, they are very affected by melatonin, and they’re white noise junkies.
NOPE. None of them slept for more than an hour. So, who knows.
GCA says
Every other year or so, we fly halfway around the world with kids, so I’ve done this a few times now (usually one 12-14h flight and one 6-8h flight). Generally, I’d fly direct, but as with nearly any other kid question, it depends.
With a layover, how long is each flight leg? How long would the layover be? Do you have to go through customs during the layover or get across a big airport / between terminals?
Is there a big time change? How long will you be at your destination (and thus how long do you have to adjust)?
Either way, with long-haul and very long-haul flights you just kind of live your day on board, eat at times appropriate to your destination time zone, and toss all screen time limits out the window.
Anonymous says
Pre Covid I would have taken a layover as I hate flights longer than 8ish hours but post Covid – definitely one flight. Flight schedules now are tighter than they used to be and we’ve had way more issues with connections being changed, delayed, missed or cancelled in the last two years than the previous like 10 years.
Anonymous says
Girl we are strangers just tell us what the flights are?!!
OP says
NYC to New Delhi. Can fly direct or do a layover for a few hours in Europe
GCA says
oh, 100% direct. live on board the plane, don’t worry about sleep and naps on your travel day, as you will have time at destination to sort that out (and hopefully no shortage of relatives to entertain a sleepless preschooler). brace yourself for some crankiness and a really long day, though. with a layover, depending on airport+ airline + time of year, I’d be concerned about flight delays (it once took us 40h to get to Singapore one December because of weather and flight cancellations, and we had a 1yo and 4yo at the time).
Anon says
Definitely direct
anon says
Direct for sure. I assume the NYC-Europe flight would be overnight, so you’d most likely be hanging out in an airport with a cranky underslept kid and way better to just power through a long flight.
Anon says
I did the India flight last fall with kids (newly 5 and almost 2) and had to stop in DBX. Our layover there was (now) a comedy of errors. Also, 5 year old did not sleep, but happily re-watched the same movies. Almost 2 had to be in his carseat which was a blessing because he…slept.
The only reason we picked that is because we couldn’t get the direct to BOM. Go direct.
anon says
Direct, in a travel car seat.
Anonie says
For sure fly direct. Given the likely lengths of the segments, your layover is likely to be at a really weird time of day, and honestly the potential benefit (?) of getting out and walking around, etc, to me isn’t worth the time added by landing/deplaning/replaning, not to mention the 2x risk of delays/cancellations. Just pack really really thoroughly and ask your pediatrician about kids’ Dramamine to get you through.
Anonymous says
Always direct if it’s an affordable option, kids or no. So much less risk and hassle.
AIMS says
My soon to be 8 year old really wants a pedometer. I don’t really know why she needs one but I’m not opposed to getting her a digital watch that counts steps. I would like it to not have games etc. though and we are big on privacy (to the extent possible) so nothing that tracks her or listens. Any recommendations?
OOO says
Fitbit makes a kids’ version, called Fitbit Ace
Anonymous says
This is what my kids have. I have one too so we can do competitions and stuff. My daughter also likes to wear it for swimming to see her swim times improve.
Anonymous says
My son likes his too. But you could also get an actual pedometer for less money.
Anonymous says
Yup. Our whole family has fitbits and we are super competing about it.
My daughter’s wasn’t charged on Halloween and I wanted her to have a watch for Halloween since she was going alone with friends. She logged 16k steps for me!
Anonie says
FWIW there are plenty of plain digital step counters on Amazon for around $15 that just show you the number. Just search for “basic pedometer kids”
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t get that unless it is what she specifically requested. If what she actually wants is a kids’ Fitbit or smartwatch-type thing, a cheap substitute will be more disappointing than getting nothing.
anon says
get a mifit. its like $30 and battery lasts forever.
Anon says
These blocks are super cool! My kids would love them.
Anon says
Our daycare has them and they’re nice/seem to be holding up really well.
GCA says
The set is $64?! My kid accidentally brought one home from daycare once and I nearly threw it away thinking it was a stick he’d picked up at the playground. Did not realize it was a $1.80 stick. They are pretty cool though.
Boston Legal Eagle says
For those with elementary school kids, do they play Minecraft? I’ve heard of it, but don’t know much about it. My 7 year old is asking to play, likely because a lot of his friends play. Is this a social game like Roblox, where we have to worry about controls? Do you treat playtime like screen time, i.e. what he’d normally get in TV time, he can do in video game time, or is this separate? As you can tell, we don’t really do much gaming now – screen time is reserved for TV. FWIW, this is my more sensitive, high energy, high emotion kid (possible ADHD, we’re looking into lots of things) – I don’t want to get too frustrated, but also want him to be able to relate to his friends.
Spirograph says
My kids love Minecraft. Screen time is screen time for me. But I’d much rather my kids play Minecraft than watch TV. We have a server for them + neighbor friends and the world they’ve created is pretty epic. It can be a social game or an individual one, it depends on how you set it up. You absolutely should turn off the chat function or limit it to only people your son knows in real life, and for younger kids I’d recommend setting it in creative mode at first and making sure there’s “no griefing” enabled. My kids play on PC, but I know it’s on Switch, and probably other platforms as well.
Anon says
My son plays. It can be a social game but you can also play it without it being in “social mode” or if you choose to allow social you can set it so that only approved friends on his friend list can connect iwth him. I do treat it as screen time, at the moment he gets 30 mins a night after he finishes homework and while I’m making dinner, then he gets some extra on weekend mornings. Minecraft is really a pretty great game, it’s all about building and creativity at heart, and unless your kid gets super into it there’s not a lot of like in app purchases like with roblox. I think its a more productive use of my kids time than just watching cartoons and he certainly seems to get more enjoyment out of it.
Anon says
Yes, my 6 and 8 year old boys love it (and they play two player and create the world together, which I also like). It is NOT like Roblox! Roblox is basically a platform, Minecraft is a closed game. We play it offline, so it is just my kids in there. We do not allow Roblox or any online-play games.
I admit I don’t really understand how to play and what they are talking about, but it is (supposedly, and in my observation) wonderful for creativity (as far as video games go, lol). They build things, they farm, they travel through the world and find villages and all sorts of characters to interact with. You can play in creative mode, with no bad guys, or survival, where there are things creeping around they may have to fight. But I’ve seen my boys plan with each other all week the type of building they are going to make, their ideas for gathering resources, the materials they want to use, etc. I’ve gotten my oldest a few books about how to play the game, but other than that he figured it out himself.
That said, it is a video game. We only allow screen time on weekends, and video games on Fri and Sat nights. It is the sort of game where you need a good chunk of time to really get into it, so we allow usually about 1.5-2 hours each of those nights for them to play together — on the TV, so we can supervise, rather than the handheld device — and that’s it. They sometimes choose other games during that time, but that is our family video game time for the week, and right now they have mostly been picking Minecraft.
TheElms says
For those that have older kids who play, is Minecraft similar to SimCity (for us 80s/90s kids)?
Anon says
Not really. More like Legos but as a video game.
A says
No, but my older kid plays city skylines, which is kind of like Sim City.
Anonymous says
I’m sure I’m in the minority, but my 6 year old doesn’t play it. Honestly I have no problem with video games I just haven’t been willing to put in the effort to set it up safely for him. He hasn’t put up much of a fuss but I do think he’s the only kid on our street who doesn’t play it.
A says
Yes, my 8 year old started playing Minecraft around that age, almost entirely in creative mode. I thought it was better than most video games in that it’s kind of like virtual legos – he built lots of different buildings, boats, etc. there’s also some basic programming involved with the Redstone blocks. You can set up the blocks to perform certain tasks when a switch is flipped if you’ve made the circuit correctly.
He then got into watching Minecraft videos on YouTube which helped him make more complex circuits, and he also loved the Minecraft roller coaster videos. He liked to replicate what he saw, which I thought was a good learning experience. Have to monitor the YouTube usage though more closely.
He’s now moved on to Zelda games but still wears all his Minecraft t shirts!
Spirograph says
haha, my kids have been playing more limited Minecraft for the last 6 months or so because one of them is all Tears of the Kingdom, all the time.
In addition to the YouTube videos (+1 you have to monitor closely, but I haven’t seen anything objectionable on Preston, who seems to be a favorite), there are also a ton of Minecraft how-too books. Our library has a whole shelf of them, and my kids always get at least two. My oldest, especially, works his way through them to try all the things.
Anon says
Yah Minecraft YouTubers are certainly their own industry…I let my son watch Preston, etc at first but he is SOOO loud, fast and overstimulating — as is basically every other popular gamer/Lego influencer — so we cut it all out. If they want to know how to build something in particular I’ll search a video for them, but I don’t have the capacity or desire to monitor the cesspool that is YouTube, so we just don’t allow it right now. There’s tons of books out there!
Anon says
It can be social, or it can not be social. I’d talk to his friends’ parents and find out how they are using it. When my kids were that age, they mostly played solo or while at the same house (connected through the same Wi-Fi), so it was more of a “we can talk about this when we’re together” rather than “let’s play Minecraft together”. My 15 y/o still plays Minecraft and he plays it in a way that is social/online (we have had many conversations about safety) but even my 12 y/o doesn’t play Minecraft like that. And yes, we treat it as screen time.
Anonymous says
Can someone explain the Nintendo switch to me? What do I need to buy? What games are good?
I have 3 kids- K/2/4th. We are thinking about getting one for them for Christmas. The only other gaming system we have is a Wii from 2002 that we use for Mario kart and they love.
Anonymous says
Buy extra controllers. Mario Kart and the Zelda games seem to be most popular.
Clementine says
It’s a GameBoy which you can also plug in to be a regular Nintendo. Don’t get the Switch Lite, get the regular one so you can play it on your big TV. I also like extra controllers – we all race in Mario Kart and it’s very fun. On Black Friday last year, we got a package with a switch + Mario kart and an extra controller for not terribly much. Kid adores it.
I really like that they have good parental controls so I have it set that my kid gets 20 minutes and it turns off after 20 minutes. He literally can’t sneak his switch because I’ll know. It’s great.
An.On. says
I’ll also recommend Luigi’s Mansion – it’s not too spooky for that age (I’ve played it with my 6 year old nephew) and Untitled Goose Game, which is short, but my nephew supposedly liked as well. Right now, he’s playing Mario Kart like everyone else of course.
Spirograph says
Nintendo Switch is great. I think there are two versions now, one is hand-held only. You should really get the one with the dock if your kids want to play together. I also recommend getting at least one of the “pro” controllers, which is much more comfortable to play on. And you’ll want a case if you plan to take it on the go.
Games my kids like:
Zelda (Breath of the Wild & Tears of the Kingdom, there are also remastered versions of the older ones for Switch)
MarioKart
Super Smash Bros
Pokemon
Minecraft Dungeons
Anonymous says
Get the “regular” switch, not the lite. Get the dock to connect it to your TV. Get enough controllers for the kids and one extra for a visitor or an adult. Get whatever Mario games you think would appeal to your kids, including Mario Party (it’s like a board game with mini-games built in, great for 4 players, easy to learn and play). I also highly encourage Pokemon because there is SO much reading involved, that’s how my kid actually learned to read. There’s also a lot of 20-35$ games, look for ones that might appeal to your specific kids’ interests. My kid loves Yoshi’s crafted world. I prefer to get physical games (not downloads) and there’s an independent used game store in my neighborhood where we like to get new-to-us games — my kid doesn’t care if the game is used or new.
Anonymous says
For younger kids, there are some Lego-tie in games. My son liked Lego Jurassic World. My husband loves Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild, but my 11 year old is just dipping his toe in with them – they are hard. He also loved Cuphead but that is also probably better for older kids.
Anonymous says
If you moved to a new city with kids, how long did it take you to make friends? We moved a few years ago and I’m really struggling with loneliness. First year was a wash, with a new baby and COVID still in the mix. Second year we moved within our new city and changed schools, which involved a friend reset. Now we’re in year three and finally feeling settled. In some ways I feel like I shouldn’t complain, because we finally have a modest little social life. We had friends to go trick-or-treating with, I text with some neighbor moms, I have a couple of people I’ve met for coffee, there’s one couple we’ve double-dated with, etc. But it’s all still new, I feel exhausted just constantly putting myself out there, and I don’t have any relationships that I would describe as confide in/ rely on/ commiserate over drinks with friendships. Basically we’ve met some very nice people but I don’t feel like I have *my* people. For a while I was so relieved to know anyone at all that it didn’t really bother me. But the longer we’re here, the more I really miss having real friends nearby. Anyone else been in this situation? Any advice? I’m just tired.
anon says
Years. It takes years, if ever.
–someone who moved a lot growing up
Anonymous says
We moved to the suburbs about four years ago (we’re in TX). I’m honestly not sure if I will ever find “my people” here. I love living here: our house is great, the schools are great, the traffic is great, the amenities are great. But people seem kind of closed off to forming deep friendships. We moved from a city where everyone was a transplant, and I think that made it easier to make friends. We also didn’t have kids then and I’m sure that was a big factor. I still try to get together with some moms I’ve met, but I just haven’t anyone who seems like they might be a long term friend. Sorry I don’t have better advice.
govtattymom says
I’m sorry- that is a hard feeling! We similarly moved during Covid (in my 3rd trimester). As you mentioned, the first year was a wash with Covid and a new baby. The second year, I started meeting people but always felt like the outsider. As we start a new school year, I finally feel connected to a great group of moms. We have a pretty busy social calendar of birthday parties, playdates, and moms only coffee dates, etc. I am only now getting to the level where I could confide in them or ask for a favor. Not sure I have any advice other than to keep trying and to be open to all types of friendships.
Anon says
Based on the advice I read somewhere on the internet (I forget where)- what worked for me to deepen these types of friendships quickly is to be more casual with them/treat them like you’re already best friends. Like, randomly text to see if they want to come over after bedtime to raid the Halloween candy bags. Don’t dress up or clean up the house. Invite them on a Target run. Send the random tik tok video.
It’s hard for me to explain in words, but I’ve found it’s easy to tell if it’s working. Like, sometimes it will be awkward and fall flat so I pull back, but sometimes it just hits right and the potential friend responds similarly and then boom, we’re real friends.
Don’t go negative/complain-y, though. You want fun casual, not TMI.
A says
Lol I also just suggested a target run as a friend date! Want to go to target tonight? Friday night target is the best!!!
Anon says
Said with no shade, just an opinion: going to target for fun sounds…not fun for me. Clearly I’m one of the few and I think this just shows that it takes all kinds :)
anonM says
I’ll plug First Fridays again. My friend did this – invited three of us (so 4 total) local moms with common interests for dinner and drinks 6-8pm on the first Friday each month. It’s low commitment, easy to keep on the calendar for scheduling, etc. They’ve turned into a great support system. As long as you have one person RSVP, then it doesn’t really matter how many others commit.
A says
I got really lucky. We moved to a new city when my kid was 3, 1.5 years before covid. I met a few moms through kid’s preschool and really hit it off with them. One watched my older kid when I went into labor, the other formed a covid pod with us for kindergarten. Fast forward to kid #2 – I have hit it off with zero parents in that kid’s preschool class at the same school, despite much small talk at birthdays and play dates .
So, part of it is luck, and part of it (I think) is gently trying to move those coffee or preschool friends into real friends territory while also realizing that what real friends means as a 30 something mom is not the same as what it meant as a 16 year old or a 25 year old.
I also think that asking for help from those friends is really useful in deepening a relationship. Nothing huge, of course, but people generally like to feel useful and helping creates a deeper bond. Also, spontaneous no-pressure invitations also spark a sense of closeness. Pizza at the playground after pick up today? Heading to target, want to come with me? Chances are, someone else is looking for a close friend too and you could be that person for them.
Anon says
We’ve lived in our city (we moved knowing no one) for 8 years, and have an almost 6 year and it’s really only in the last year that I feel like we have a village. I still don’t have close friends on the level of my college besties, but I finally have a bunch of people I talk to regularly and a couple I would describe as real friends, including one friend I’m planning to travel with soon. Covid was no doubt a factor (it heavily impacted my kid’s daycare years from age 2-4, since there were no events outside school including parties) but it takes many people years even in the best circumstances. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things. And it’s a bit like online dating… there are dozens of people you don’t vibe with for every one you do, which can be demoralizing.
Anon says
Me – We moved back to my home city, and many of my close friends of 20+ years have settled here, and we’re kind of all in a natural hangout cadence, so I haven’t made a ton of “new” deep friendships. There are some neighborhood families we close to. I don’t have the bandwidth right now in life to put out additional efforts with the newer folks, but if someone is up to invite me/us, I’m always open to it. I am also wary of making friends through kid connections only – I don’t want “Mom” friends, I want friends for myself (and I know “mom” friends can easily turn into that).
DH – Is not from here, but has a few close friends from other points in life here. I say this with no judgement – he makes 0 effort with those friends, or really any other potential friends. We have a neighborhood friend that’s reached out a few times to him directly and he’s politely declined because he would rather spend his “free” time otherwise. He also then feels frustrated with the friend situation, but he also is in a life and career place where there’s just not much free time to build friendships.
Emma says
Vent – my husband is away at a conference until next week and my 14 month old is sick, so she’s staying home from daycare. She has a fever and spat out all the Tylenol (she usually loves it). She also has minor pink eye. I was counting on her being away at daycare today so that I could do some work and then go do some errands in peace so we could spend a nice weekend together. I know lots of people are solo parents and I really shouldn’t be complaining about 5 days but oof, I’m already tired.
OOO says
I’m sorry, caring for a sick toddler solo is the worst. If she still uses a pacifier then I think FridaBaby makes a medicine syringe attached to a pacifier. No guarantee she won’t still spit it out, though. If she’s not being fussy then it’s probably best not to treat the fever anyway so her body can fight the virus. Make things easy on yourself, order all the takeout and don’t tidy anything. When DH comes home you should take a day off and let him take care of her. Or when DS goes back to daycare next week you should take a day off work to recharge.
Emma says
Thanks! Sadly she hates pacifiers and loves her thumb. She’s a little better now and I managed to get her to take a bit of the Tylenol. Our sweet babysitter is coming over tomorrow so I can go to the store and get coffee in peace. I definitely plan to take a day “off” next weekend and leave DH in charge for a bit.
Reading says
What are real life reading expectations for kindergarten? My kid is in the “gifted” kindergarten. According to the teacher at our conference – She knows all her letters and missed one sound. She mixes up b and d sometimes (writes them backwards). We have done no work with her at home. The teacher told us twice that some kids are already reading. And our kid is “middle of the pack”. She said not to worry of course and is perhaps low balling so there can be tremendous progress (due to the teacher of course) at the next conference.
Fwiw I wrote out a short sentence – the cat is red. And she did read it and sound out. So maybe she is closer than we think?
We live in an affluent competitive area and seem to have less flexible jobs than the other parents. Based on some questions submitted to the teacher in a group setting I now feel all of them have been doing work at home with the kids. I feel guilty and we are going to spend some time working with kid on the weekends. She loves typing words into my computer and playing games around words but you have to catch her in a mood to learn. It’s more work for us for sure.
My sister thinks this is all crazy and it’s kindergarten for Pete’s sake. Am I being too tiger mom about this ?
Reading says
To add to my post – school is using phonics (I read the related thread)
Anonymous says
I’m with your sister. The teacher said your daughter is in the middle of the pack. In the “gifted” kindergarten. That means she is absolutely fine. She does not need to be the best. Really. You do not need to do extra anything at home. Let her be a kid and enjoy your life!
Anonymous says
I’m not sure about your exact question, but maybe this helps. I have 3 kids. My youngest is in K. They are all very bright kids that read early and go to an excellent public school in a white wealthy suburb.
In K, from what you describe, your kiddo right where my K kiddo is, and that’s well above average but not “get them in the gifted program ASAP” level. Our K does reading groups, and my kiddo is in the highest one. She has a couple kids in her class that can full on read, but they are by far the exception and in every case they are the oldest (this was me and my oldest kiddo too).
If your school uses the F&P reading levels, your kid is probably at a C and in our public school, they are supposed to be at a D/E by the end of the year. Mine were at J or K by the end of Kindy which is really more like the end of 1st grade.
Reading says
Thanks, this is helpful!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, from I recall of those reading levels, my now 2nd grader was around the C/D level in December/January and probably ended at around E/F. He’s now a great reader, but really just started reading chapter books willingly this year.
Anonymous says
This is an unpopular opinion, but based on my observations as a tutor and then a parent most kids learn best at age 4-5 using phonics in a one-on-one setting. If you wait too long they get resistant, are less tolerant of the effort it takes to learn, and get frustrated unless they can instantly read every word on the page. It’s also demotivating for them to experience failure in school and/or to see kids who can read better than they can. If you teach them younger and before they are working on reading in a classroom setting they are more motivated and are thrilled with smaller incremental accomplishments.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t worry at all! You’ll be amazed by the amount of growth in K and 1st. For my kiddo, reading clicked when it clicked. It is kind of like learning to walk. You work up to it, it clicks, and two weeks later you’re running. But it clicks for everyone at different times. We really liked the Bob books at that stage.
Anon says
We made it a habit to read with our kids every night before bed. They’d read with us (alternating paragraphs or pages) and then we’d read to them from a chapter book. We didn’t worry much about where they were on the journey to becoming strong readers, but do think that 1:1 time focused on reading was important.
(We did the 100 Easy Lessons book with our kids shortly before K, so they were both reading by the beginning of K. It was part of this nightly routine where we read together before bed each night, followed by a chapter book.)
That’s what I’d recommend. Read together every day. Do a little practice, but also make it a moment to connect and enjoy the stories together.
If you don’t see progress, then your Spidey sense should go up and you can consider other steps. But most likely your kid will continue to learn and improve.
Anonymous says
+1 to a phonics program plus reading aloud from a chapter book nightly.
anonM says
She read a complete sentence already! Is in the gifted K! And I’m assuming from the post that your kid has had no significant behavioral/social issues and the teacher is not raising any red flags??? Maybe take a step back. You’re doing great, she’s doing great. A lot of kids are still having a lot of challenges adjusting to K, so you know your own kid and what is best for them, but this all sounds like some good problems to have!
Reading says
Thanks. I needed to hear this
Anonymous says
I would expect a gifted kid to be reading at the beginning of K, especially if they are on the older side. I would be concerned if any child wasn’t reading beginning chapter books fluently by the end of K.
Anonymous says
Oh I strongly disagree. In my experience early reading is only present for a small fraction of gifted kids as it depends on so many factors beyond “giftedness,” like interest level of the kid. Anecdotal evidence my brother and I were both highly highly verbal “gifted” kids (my brother is a genius level professor in the humanities in a discipline highly focused on language) and neither of us read more than “the cat is red” in kindergarten. Absolutely for some kids early reading is a sign of giftedness (I’m going to include my older child in that), but plenty of kids read in first grade and go on to be super advanced academically.
Anon says
Very much agree with 12:53! Humblebrag but whatever, I have an IQ around 160 and have always been off the charts on standardized tests, and didn’t learn to read until first grade at nearly 7 with the rest of my class. I got way above grade level quickly once I started reading, but didn’t do it at all early.
There’s also the issue of dyslexia and other learning disabilities, which some gifted kids have. My husband likely has it and still struggles with spelling and stuff as an adult, and was never identified for any gifted programs because his reading was always below average. But he got a PhD in theoretical math from a top school and I’m sure has a higher IQ than me and no doubt than most of the kids in his elem school gifted program. There are so many factors beyond raw IQ than impact when and how well kids read.
Anonymous says
What? How old are your kids? I have a gifted child (and two others) and this is not at all my experience. Certainly if s/he’s interested in reading, but you can be gifted in math and “above average” in reading.
Idk what this “gifted classroom” is either. I’ve never seen a school that has a full class of truly gifted kids.
Anonymous says
A normal-sized local elementary school wouldn’t have enough actually gifted kids to fill a whole class. A lot of schools put the bright kids and the tiger parents’ kids in the class with the gifted cluster. But without testing incoming kindergarteners I don’t know how they would identify kids for K placement. This separation usually doesn’t happen until grade 1 for this reason.
Anon says
I said below that my city has gifted classes at some schools for K, and there is a test any interested parent can have their child take in the spring before starting K. I believe that test combined with a teacher recommendation is how they select who gets to go in the gifted class. That said, with 5-6 year olds I think it’s very difficult to separate preparation from intelligence, and I don’t believe they’re necessarily picking the highest IQ kids. This is why the “gifted” label is pretty meaningless to me – as a former “gifted” kid.
Anon says
I think about the pressure to read early a lot too. My oldest didn’t really learn to read until first grade. She is now 11 and a voracious reader. I know this yet I still feel pressure to work on helping my four year old to read before kindergarten. I guess I ask myself, what is the long term goal here? What does “behind” really mean? If they learn to read by kindergarten will they love reading more than if it took them longer? so I am really scarring them for life? Do I not agree with the teachers who say my kid is average level and is fine?
I don’t think this is anything to feel guilty about- there are so many things we do for our kids and our families and we all get to prioritize them differently based on what we want for our family and ourselves, not just for our kids. Think of all the things you have been prioritizing over reading- what would you want to give up to work specifically on reading? That’s how I would think of it.
anon says
Is this a gifted kindergarten as in the children are bright and had parents who knew to get them tested to qualify? Or a gifted school for children whose brains are really different and the school is accustomed to children who are all over the place in their abilities (maybe way far ahead in one area and behind in another)?
Either way, I’m with your sister. I wouldn’t worry unless the teacher says to worry. That said, in the first kind of gifted program, I’d expect a lot more parent intervention through the years, so it’d probably be good to spend some time thinking where you stand philosophically on tiger parenting.
Spirograph says
+1 to all of this. I rely a lot on the teachers for what I should consider concerning about school performance and behavior. They are far more expert in this than I am.
Anon says
I’m intrigued by the concept of a gifted K — what is it, and how did your daughter come to be placed there? I think she sounds perfectly on track for early kindergarten, likely above average for a general public school class.
I think there are casual things you can do at home to reinforce what she’s learning, like having her read books to you, play sight word Bingo, have her help make grocery lists or read words in the wild, etc. But if you feel you have to push her to keep up/excel in her gifted K, then that does seem Tiger mom-ish.
Anonymous says
Not OP, but NYC is the only p[lace I’ve heard of with gifted K classes. Magnet schools in other places I know of don’t start until at least grade 1 and often not until mid-elementary. That said, in the ’80s I attended K at a private school that required a reading test for kindergarten entry and taught first- and second-grade curriculum. My parents transferred me to a public magnet school in grade 2. I grew up assuming that everyone had to be able to read before starting K and was quite surprised to learn otherwise.
Anon says
I’m in a small rust belt city (so…basically the oppos!te of NYC, lol) and some elementary schools in my city have full classes of gifted kids, beginning in K.
Anonymous says
How is that possible without busing or magnet schools? If a school has 5 classes in a grade that would mean 20% of their kids are gifted, which is just not possible. Even if you use the relatively low IQ cutoff of 130, only 1 in 44 kids would qualify.
Anon says
I’m not sure what percentage of kids are in the gifted programs, but I think it’s around 5-10%. Our schools are big (my daughter’s has 8 classes of ~20 kids) and I think the gifted class is smaller than a regular class. These are fairly low socio-economic schools and I believe at the K level they’re mainly screening for kids who have good support at home and/or good preschool prep, not kids who have high IQs. This is a very common problem with early elementary gifted-identification.
Fwiw, our district does not have separate gifted classes, largely because our district has a much more educated parent base and a higher level of academic emphasis, and they assert that the level in the general classrooms is on par with the level in the gifted rooms at other schools (and based on what I’ve seen I’d agree – probably more than half my kid’s K class is already reading). We do have a gifted program at our school, but it’s differentiation-based, not separate classrooms.
Spirograph says
My mom was a gifted education teacher who taught in a district that made full classes of “gifted” kids, and anecdotally, they use a lower cutoff. 130 (two standard deviations above the mean) is supposed to be the threshold for gifted services, but my mom said her district filled out the classes with kids in the upper 120s or who were particularly strong in math/pattern reasoning rather than across the board. She also complained quite a bit that there’s a noticeable difference between those kids and the ones who are truly 130+ and it wasn’t fair to the “real” gifted kids.
Anon says
That’s interesting Spirograph. My impression was the opposite, that a lot of elementary school gifted programs are filled out with kids who are good or early readers, regardless of where they are with math, and the kids who are exceptionally good at math but not particularly strong at reading are often missed. I think with little kids math skills are likely to be a better proxy for IQ than early reading, although I may be biased because I’m from a family of STEM people.
Spirograph says
In her district, the program doesn’t start until 3rd grade, so kids should be all reading independently by then. Kids are selected in 2nd grade for further testing based on standardized test scores, teacher recommendation and a bit of parent pushiness. That subset of kids gets IQ tested by the district’s gifted coordinator (that was my mom, too) in 2nd grade and 5th grade, and classes are sorted accordingly. Based on all the textbooks and professional development materials I read because they were lying around the house, :) I absolutely agree with someone’s point above that any kindergarten “gifted” identification is probably more an identification of K-preparedness, (resources/parent engagement), than IQ.
Another tidbit I always found interesting is that my mom did not think very highly of the teacher recommendations. Teachers tended to recommend good readers/good students. They were above-average smart and conscientious, but that’s not a very good marker of high IQ. Gifted students learn quickly and make intuitive leaps…then often get bored and don’t do the assignment “correctly,” so teachers not trained to identify or teach gifted kids write them off. (When I get fed up with my corp job, I might go get a gifted teaching certification, it’s near and dear to my heart!)
Anon says
Yes, I’ve heard that about teacher recommendations as well. It makes sense that teachers would recommend kids who are smart and well-behaved, but not necessarily at the very top, since those kids often act out as a result of boredom.
For that reason, I’ve always thought it makes more sense for gifted education to supplement the main curriculum, rather than push kids through the standard curriculum faster, because accelerating kids compounds the boredom issue. My childhood gifted program had us do a lot of cool things that weren’t in the normal curriculum (brain teasers, field trips, in-depth creative projects, etc), but we didn’t really get “accelerated” until middle school math. That seems like the right approach to me.
Anonymous says
Same, in my elementary school, we had a pull-out day once a week and were bussed for a small class that consolidated 3 elementary schools’ gifted kids. I don’t think we did anything relevant to the regular curriculum there. We did self-selected independent study projects, brain teasers, practiced math games for county competitions, Basic computer programming, and various major class projects. The main ones I remember are planning a Mars colony & building a giant bubble habitat for it, growing a hydroponic garden, and proposing design plans for a new middle school (I’m sure no one actually considered them, but we did get to “pitch” some committee). It was a really great program, I loved it.
Anon says
Yesterday was also parent teacher conference day for NYC elementary schools :)
OP — don’t worry about this. Read books to/with your kid every night and encourage your kid to enjoy reading. Anecdotally, most of the kids I know who are well above grade level in reading are the kids whose parents read for pleasure, and go to bookstores/libraries for themselves, not just the kid.
Reading says
Thank you. I know I’m late and I’m reluctant to post location to not out my fam. We read every night to her (she’s a night owl) and go to the library. I also read a lot (crime books on my kindle) and dad reads history books for fun.
Anon says
I don’t think you need to worry at all. First of all, being ‘average’ in a gifted class means you’re still way ahead of the general population. But I also don’t believe this is any evidence of your child being average in the classroom. I’ve seen countless examples of people who read early but never amounted to much academically, and people who read average or even late who turned out to be incredibly brilliant. Fwiw, your kindergartener sound considerably ahead of my kindergartner, who is not reading even simple sentences, but is working way above grade level in math. I think at this age their reading and math level has a lot to do with their interest, and their preparation at home and I’m a firm believe in not doing academic work with kids at home unless they’re specifically asking for it. Otherwise, you’re likely to burn them out on school way too early.
Anonymous says
I think your sister is right. Your kid has the appropriate skills and will continue to learn. I have an august-birthday kindergartener who has been able to sound out basic CVC words since age 3 but has not gone any further than that bc he is not interested right now and prefers dramatic play. Totally a maturity level issue of is he ready to sit down and do lessons and he’s just not there maturity wise.I have zero worries because this child does stuff when he is ready to do it.
Anonymous says
Omg this is insane. You think the teacher is lying to you about your kid to look better later? Get professional help.
Anon says
A good survival tip for parenting early school-aged kids is to ignore stressing about what other parents are doing. My kids are in K and 1st in an immersion school, and from our class chats I know that there are parents who 1) have their kids in 3-hour Saturday school to practice the language, 2) have 4 hours of afterschool tutoring a week, or 3) spend 1+ hour every night reviewing the work done at school and having their kid practice worksheets.
Meanwhile, we attempt to ask our kids to practice their spelling words once during the week, but they’re doing just fine without all the extra intervention.
Anonie says
Y’all, I’m so proud – I just ordered my family holiday cards! I love holiday cards, and now I’ll easily be able to send them out by early December!
Anon says
Great job! I’m jealous- I still have to take my kids’ photos. I’ve previously ordered our cards during Black Friday sales so hoping to do that this year too.
OOO says
I’m nearly there, just need to update a couple more addresses (I’m getting the envelopes addressed). I might even be able to send them right after Thanksgiving, which some may think is obnoxiously early, but the Holiday season seems to start earlier every year anyway.
Anon says
I love getting cards early! Then they can be displayed the whole month of December. I love getting cards all the time, but it’s a bit sad when 50% arrive right before or even after Christmas…I feel like I don’t get the chance to properly appreciate them (and I know how much work and expense they are to do).
ChiAnon says
I’m sure this has been asked, but I would love hotel recommendations for New York City over spring break. We will likely see a Broadway show and do pretty touristy things as this will be the first trip for our two elementary age kids. We would really love a suite or a hotel room that has at least two queens. We don’t sleep well sharing full beds! Any recommendations? Would love to stay around $500 or 600 a night.
A says
Check out the Lombardy – it’s in Midtown and has suites, and often little kitchens. It’s been awhile since I stayed there so I don’t know current pricing. Not close to broadway but not a bad homebase because it’s relatively close to grand central.
Anon says
Some of the Kimptons have two queens and I think a Hyatt Place in Midtown.
Anon says
My elementary aged kids loved Aladdin and Lion King. They also liked Wicked and Six, but we talked about the storyline first and listened to the soundtracks. I’m debating doing &Juliet next, as I think they’ll like that as well.
Most of the hotels around Times Square are good and make it easy to get to touristy destinations. 2 queens are really difficult to find but last year we stayed at the Courtyard Times Square West and it had double queen beds.
ifiknew says
Great article in the times about the overprotected childhood. I know it’ll vary by child, but I have a 4.5 and 6.5 year old and my 4.5 year old does not seem remotely ready to like look at the street before running after a ball. Granted, we live in a quiet residential street with 10 homes, but i’m not sure he could be trusted in the front yard without an adult. We do have neighbors though that let their 4 year olds roam the neighborhood.. what age would you let your kids play outside without active supervision?
Anonymous says
I think you need to make a distinction between protecting your child’s life and health and protecting his feelings and ego. I would never let a 4.5-year-old run around in the front yard unsupervised because the consequences of a mishap are so grave. It’s not just about his looking both ways either–a kid that young is short and difficult for drivers to notice. You can teach a 4-year-old to cross the street safely under supervision, without sending him out on his own. On the other hand, I do send my kids to sleepaway camp, let them cook, let them make their own decisions within reason and reap the consequences, etc. Those are the growth experiences I think kids are being denied. Most people I know wouldn’t send their kids to camp until they were at least 12. I even know a mom who basically did her daughter’s Girl Scout Gold Award project for her. Those are the kids who won’t be able to function on their own, not the ones whose parents didn’t want them to get run over by cars.
Anon says
Totally agree on the cooking (my 8 year old makes his own eggs start to finish, and my 2.5 yo does a pretty good job, too!), letting them take charge of school work and extracurriculars, and being allowed to experience natural consequences.
I chuckle at the sleep away camp, because this board has had heated discussions in the past. I firmly believe it is not a necessary experience. Some kids are homebodies and that would be far too stressful – like me, who did not ever do sleep away camp. Given time, I’ve grown up to live in Paris, NYC, am raising 3 kids, and consider myself pretty darn functional! As a parent, we consider how to stretch our kids without breaking them, and the limits are so individual.
Anon says
+1 – this is really well said. I let my elementary aged kids manage as much as they possibly can, and they have all “reaped the consequences” (love that) of their own management. I also don’t micromanage their verbal interactions with adults, hover when they cook, and they do go to sleepaway camp.
I do have a 4.5 year old, and agreed on the consequences being too significant for that much independence. My daughter’s friends love to offer to take him to the park that is across the street from our house, but it just takes a minute for things to go wrong. We can come back from forgetting lunch or a band instrument, but not from a little kid making a decision to chase a ball while a 12 year old is looking away for one minute.
Anon says
I agree about there being a distinction between emotional and physical harm, but many people are also very bad at analyzing risk. A lot of Americans really fear their children getting snatched or molested by strangers, but kids are almost never harmed in those ways by strangers, There are many more pressing physical risks like car crashes, gun violence, and abuse by people the child knows.
anon says
I think it varies so much by age, nature of the activities, time of day, nature of the loose supervision, and local conditions. I wouldn’t set a firm cutoff for something as broad as “play outside without active supervision.”
I’m sure I let my kids putter around the back garden, taking care of plants, alone as preschoolers when I had a window open and could see/talk with them easily. On the other end, I still require my older elementary kids to have a grownup to watch for cars if they want to play basketball on a very low traffic street with a hoop.
Anon says
Definitely depends on the kids, but my 8 and 6 yo are allowed on their own in our yard and have been for a couple years (my second is very trustworthy). I don’t let them in the street when we aren’t outside (bikes have to stay in the driveway, etc), though if a ball rolls in the street I do trust my 8yo to safely retrieve it. I also let them walk to friends/neighbors houses, within reason. I think back to how I used to walk to school on my own with another kindergartner when I was in K!
Cb says
Yeah, we are at the end of a cul de sac with low traffic and I let my son (6) play outside pretty unsupervised (I can hear him but not always see him) if he’s out with the older boys next door. They can go into the little woods, but not the road or onto the golf course green. I check pretty frequently but feel pretty safe.
I think when he’s nearing 8, we’ll start having him meet us at library, then park, etc in preparation for walking home when he’s 9.
Anon says
I’d be perfectly comfortable letting my responsible 5 year old roam the neighborhood, but I don’t because I don’t want someone to call CPS on me. I only just started leaving her in the car very briefly while doing things like running into the library to grab books (<5 minutes total). It helps that she's very tall and could easily pass for 7, otherwise I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it because of the risk of someone seeing her and calling the police.
I agree that experiences like sleepaway camp are important, but I don't think it replaces the freedom we had as kids in the 1980s.
anon says
Someone almost called the cops on me when I returned a grocery cart (for what, 2 minutes?!) while my kids were in their car seats at 3.5 and 5.5. It changed how I looked at these things, too. I was so pissed but also there are a lot of people like that these days.
Anon says
I had my car tinted in large part for this reason. The UV protection is a bonus, but I don’t want people spying on my kids and pets if I need to briefly leave them in the car.
Anonymous says
We’re in a residential neighborhood in a big city. Our school allows kids in 4th grade to walk home alone. Mine is now in 3rd and we are practicing skills for going places on her own. I will send her into a store to buy something while I wait in the car, and I’ve asked her to lead us home or to locations where we walk often, including her friends houses, and to point out businesses that are friendly where she could go in for help.
I grew up in another country where kids as young as 3 were sent outside to just play but there were always other kids out too and a contingent of grandmas who spent hours sitting on benches outside and knew who everyone was. Moms with babies and younger toddlers would often be outside as well. No stranger was going to come to our street without the grandma brigade questioning them, and no kids were going to leave the immediate area without it being reported to their parents. They didn’t intervene in kid social disputes though, or for minor injuries, so we were basically on our own. It was very Jane Jacobs actually.
Anon says
My kids were allowed to play alone in the front yard starting at age 4 or so. At age 5ish, they were allowed to go to the ends of the block (staying on the sidewalk) as long as they tell us first. Age 6.5 was the first time I let one walk to a friend’s house alone, 2.5 blocks on very quiet streets, only needing to cross the street once.
Anonymous says
On a quiet street with a long driveway, the kids were outside in the front unsupervised by age 4. Kiddo who just turned 5 is now allowed to go around the block alone including a brief stretch on a busy road. He is allowed to cross the two dinky streets but not the two busier streets.
Anon says
I need some hope! My son turned 4 in July and will not go #2 in a toilet. It is just maddening. We’ve tried everything, and I think he’s just old enough now that he’s got to just decide he’s ready to do it and go for it. I’m not really looking for suggestions on what to try (we’ve tried it all at this point) – I’m just looking for positive stories of late bloomers who got it eventually…..
Anon says
My daughter wouldn’t at age 4, but did at age 4.5. What worked for us (after many, many, many tries and tears) was (1) I told her I was going to take her Christmas money and use it to see a behavioral therapist, but first (2) I cut a hole in her diaper and asked her to try going into the toilet like that. So – it will happen! Even though we had tried all kinds of rewards and bribes, somehow the threat of taking away money together with the idea of the hole of the diaper (which she had previously refused) was enough.
DLC says
My neice would only poop in a pull up until she was five. Sympathies. It was very very stressful. She is now ten and spends hours on the toilet.
Anonymous says
I think this is one of those things that is incredibly stressful and seems insurmountable until one day it just … isn’t. Absent a disability, there aren’t kids in elementary school classrooms wearing pull-ups.
Anon says
Is your child at all constipated? It can be a vicious cycle, because “holding it” (e.g., to go in a pull-up at night) worsens constipation. My child struggled on and off with constipation until completing potty training, but the actual poop training was pretty easy once we got her on a laxative.
Anonymous says
I hope you see this! My second (a boy) turned 4 in late July and wouldn’t poop in the potty until mid-august. So stressful and maddening. My DH took away all the pull ups (like it was NOT an option) and we (safely) used miralax and fiber gummies and juice so he couldn’t get constipated. He held it for about 3 days and then one night went himself while we were all downstairs. This is a kid who is NOT coerced by external motivators/prizes/bribes at all. I was so embarrassed and stressed that he was the only 4yo I knew who wasn’t potty trained. But he’s had ZERO poop accidents and didn’t ask for a pull-up again