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First Grade Reading? says
I read yesterday’s thread about the first grader struggling with reading with interest. My first grader is per his teacher reading on a Fountas and Pinnell level “E” but I have my doubts — we’ve been working our way though the Bob books series at home (currently on level “C” Bob books) and sometimes he reads them easily and with decent fluency and sometimes he is clearly just guessing based on the picture without looking at the word and seeing whether it matches his guess. He can sound out words but only does so with a lot of prompting. I think I need to do something more structured at home. What are everyone’s thoughts on Hooked on Phonics (the hard copy materials, not the app version – we don’t have a tablet for the kids to use) versus How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons? Other recommendations?
GCA says
I don’t have experience with Hooked on Phonics, but we used 100 Easy Lessons and it worked like a charm for my kindergartner. (I also ignore all leveled readers and just read whatever is most interesting to my kid, which ranges from random board books to Magic Tree House on any given day. K teacher, who is definitely focusing on phonics in class, endorses this strategy for us at home.)
Anonymous says
We used the Hooked on Phonics Learn to Read kits, which have a DVD and a book. Highly recommend. Look carefully at the content and choose the appropriate level–we skipped the early ones because kiddo could already recognize her letters.
Anon says
Fountas and Pinnell leveled readers are really set up to correspond to the Lucy Caulkin’s paradigm. I wouldn’t use them to determine reading level.
We used 100 Easy Lessons with both our kids and it worked great. Starting around lesson 40ish, we started supplementing with Bob books. When we got to around lesson 80-90, we began transitioning to other phonetic readers like the Dear Dragon and Biscuit books. From there we read lots of early readers, like Elephant and Piggie, etc.
Ugh, three year olds says
I have a spirted three year old who is smack dab in the middle of, “I want to do it myself.” Which is great in theory, but in practice it takes us two hours to get out the door in the morning. Any interference to help (and speed things along) results in a meltdown, even for things that she cannot remotely do on her own (e.g., scramble her own eggs). I love that she wants to try and do things on her own (I wish my older kid had more of that … he’s the one I’m worried will end up living in my basement until he’s 40) but it just takes SO LONG to do basic things. By the time I get to work we’ve battled over whether or not she can wear shorts to school (it’s 25 degrees today), which books / toys to bring downstairs, what to eat for breakfast (and on which plate), who gets to prepare said food, getting shoes on, putting on her own car seatbelt, whether or not her baby doll also gets her own seatbelt, etc. etc. Every minute thing is a negotiation. And she’s not a kid that can be distracted by other shiny objects. As an adult, she’ll be a force to reckon with, but right now – my God.
I show up at work exhausted and frustrated. What secret am I missing (or is this just one of those – it’s a phase, wait it out type of things?)
anon says
Strong-willed kids are great, but also sometimes super exhausting to parent. Can you move any of the decisions to the night before? e.g. pick out what clothes she’ll put on in the morning, pick out her plate and cup for breakfast, etc. It won’t help with her wanting to do everything independently, but would mean fewer negotiations when you’re all trying to get out the door.
Anonymous says
How does she do if you give her a menu of appropriate choices? Eg tell her that she can have the blue plate or the orange plate? I know that does let help with the “doing it myself” problem but maybe some of the other struggles you mentioned? But overall – yeah, three year olds. So cute, so infuriating.
Anon says
I’m sorry! That is a rough way to start the day.
I would start by streamlining as much as you can and limiting the options. It may provoke a real meltdown the first day or two, but hopefully it becomes routine. Same breakfast, same plate, same rotation of outfits that you choose the night before and hold firm on the next morning, etc. (Weekends are when she can have creativity and extra time to do it at her speed!)
(I would also probably take eggs out if the weekday rotation because they seem to really inspire kids to want to do it themselves! Though, my 2.5 yo has been cracking and scrambling his own eggs all week, so she might really be capable, with some mess of course. Again, a great weekend activity).
Anonymous says
This is what we do. Breakfast alternates between frozen homemade waffles and cereal. Waffle mornings is choice of syrup or jam, cereal mornings is a choice of 3 cereals.
Pick out clothes for the week in one go on Saturday. If she is insistent on needing shorts, she can put them in her bag in case she gets too hot and change at daycare.
Allow choice but limit choices. Insist you buckle seatbelt until age X but allow her to buckle dolly’s seatbelt first.
Anonymous says
Whew, I have your kid. She’s 8 now and still like this. Here are some tips:
Give her things she can do, but on your terms. If she wants to put her own shoes on, great! But she may have to do that in the car if she’s not ready. Hair not done? Do it in the car. By the time she gets to daycare she’ll forget she fought about it. Let her wear shorts to school. Pack another outfit for her.
GCA says
I have this kid! Well, she was like this till about age 4, then she insisted on having everything done for her…and is still as stubborn as I am, lol.
In addition to everyone else’s advice, I used a visual checklist. Eg. what needs to happen before bed? Well, dinner, fruit, dessert, bathtime, PJs, toothbrushing, and a bedtime book. I sketched this out on a whiteboard and let her check items off as we completed them.
anonM says
+1. My kids love the one with the little buttons you slide to “check” the task. At the “I Do It” stage, it seems to distract them from the battle of picking because THEY get to slide the check mark over.
We also use a visual timer. Not every day, but it helps when they start having a lot of issues moving things along. (mainly, taking 25 minutes to eat a bagel…it is impressively slow hahaha)
Scilady says
A couple of ideas:
1) Purge all clothing that is not season appropriate. We live in the north east and shorts were put away last month – out of sight out of mind. Can you either tell them to pick between two our have several limited options to pick from? If they ask, we tell them they are dirty and we need to wash them. Or we say their clothing is too small for them now and are going to other babies
2) Can you pre-make a breakfast on the weekends? For example muffins or oatmeal bake or egg bake? Have your child help on the weekends when they have more time and then have them heat up in the microwave? This might satisfy the independence and still be faster than battles.
3) For plates/ cups perhaps have a low drawer where they can pick out their own? We have one and it is filled with child friendly cups and plates. My children can pick out their own. If the one they want is dirty, they learn that (and get mad but ultimately pick another.
4) For the seatbelt, can you have a favorite song on and if they don’t get buckled in by the time the song ends, parent gets to do it? I normally help by claiming I’m making sure the seat belt is not twisted and I hold the bottom buckle so they can snap into it. Dolls/ stuffed friends do not get a seatbelt in our house. You must hold them to keep them safe.
5) For shoes and coat we have basically one option I set out. They do the coat flip and shoes. Again, a song and if the song ends before they are done, they get assistance.
Good luck! It’s a battle, but ultimately helpful. My 3 year old now does a lot of things by herself and it is so fun to watch the independence grow.
Anon says
This! My almost three year old insists on wearing a T-shirt and it’s 31 degrees this morning! I got rid of all the tshirts and now all he can choose from are long sleeves. He’s had a fit about it but what’s he gonna do? I told him the alternative is to go in his PJ shirt, which he doesn’t want to do. He ends up wearing seasonally appropriate clothes but it does take a long time.
Anon says
I was going to suggest this, but we also did a lot of layering short-sleeve t’s over long-sleeve ones in preschool. I imagine you could similarly allow her to wear leggings under shorts.
Anon says
Yes, we do this a lot too.
Anonymous says
I posted before but I think it was eaten. I have one of these kids. She’s 8 now and still like it. We say that she is spicy. She’s…her own person for sure but she’s a complete hoot, so there really is an up side.
Some tips:
– Don’t plan to ride it out. She’ll likely always be like this. Figure out how to work with her and not against her.
– Most generally, often, it’s not about what she wants to do or not do, it’s about the fight. So…disengage. She wants to wear shorts in January? Let her put them on. Throw real clothes in the car and she can switch at daycare.
– Figure out what motivates her on any particular day. “Hey, if you eat your breakfast real quick this morning, you have time to watch a Bluey before school!” or “If we get in the car before X, we can take the long way past the pony farm.” “If you’re all ready before Daddy then you get FIFTEEN POINTS!!!” etc.
For breakfast, put out options. If she won’t or can’t or doesn’t eat them, pack up one option and present it to her to eat in the car, or once she gets to daycare (or as snack if she’s in PK). Mine used to fight breakfast all morning long but happily ate a bar or a cheese stick or some toast in the car. Something about being buckled in made her just forget she was fighting about it.
Shoes? She can put them on. Time box her. If they are not on by X, she can put them on in the car (she’ll likely forget and you can put them on once she’s buckled). Or tell her to put on crocs and swap for appropriate footwear at a later time when she doesn’t care anymore.
good luck!
Anon says
I have this kid. I agree with the poster who said to remove out of season clothing so it’s not an option. We pick out clothes the night before. The next morning, if she doesn’t like them for whatever reason, she gets to pick an alternate but after that, I pick. I’ve had to put strict limits on what can and cannot be played with in the mornings because we were fighting over stopping to do the next task. If the battle is over what to bring up or down, I’d have upstairs toys and downstairs toys, and they don’t travel. I punt on the breakfast issue and make her eat school breakfast. Again, toys don’t travel to school, so we don’t have an issue with what to bring. Meltdowns over any issues result in losing things like iPad time. Things like cooking or putting on seat belts are safety issues that I have a hard line on and aren’t even up for argument. I explain that to her the best I can, but if there is still a meltdown, no iPad. I’m a litigator and have to do mornings solo because my husband is at work by 6am. So, in order not to be late to court and already mentally exhausted, I have to take a hard line on morning meltdowns.
Anon says
This is all great advice! The one thing I have to add (because I’m so guilty of it) is consistency about what she’s allowed to do or not do. Some mornings are smoother than others so I’m tempted to let my daughter do more things and nope, that’s a horrible idea. Strict boundaries of I do X, she does Y every single day. When she masters some things and does them quicker I add more “Y” but that’s a conscious decision and they become her everyday tasks.
Anon says
i’d love to purge all clothing that is not seasonably appropriate, except where i live this week we had highs in the 50s and next week highs in the 80s
Anon says
Yeah I was going to say this doesn’t really work in the Midwest… It was 80+ in my city on Oct. 27 and snowed on Halloween.
Also I’m not sure ‘out of sight, out of mind works with strong-willed 3 year olds. If my kid had wanted to wear shorts, she would have demanded shorts even if they were packed away. A 3 year old’s memory is good enough to remember the existence of shorts. I feel like that’s easier to get away with when they’re 1-2 and have the memory of a goldfish.
Anonymous says
Same issue with swapping out clothes here (Wisconsin). I didn’t feel comfortable pulling shorts out of the drawer until after the Halloween snow.
OP, the only suggestion other than what everyone else said about limiting choices and being consistent in what your kid is allowed to do, is that maybe you live near me and our strong-willed 3-year-olds can be besties.
ChiAnon says
Good morning! A good friend just lost her father after a long battle with an illness. Any recommendations for gifts to send? Budget is $200. They are located in Fort Myers,FL if anyone has local suggestions. Otherwise, we can ship something. Thank you!
Anon says
After my Dad died, I really appreciated anything that made eating something we didn’t have to think about.
DoorDash gift certificates, a meal train that colleagues set up (often times it was just restaurant delivery sent to my house – I can tell you the exact meals we had at how much joy that brought in a dark time), even those soup delivery packages – all were a huge salve in a tough time.
I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss.
OOO says
+1 to all of this
anonM says
If you suspect they’ll be getting a lot of meals/they have a large family, you could also send breakfast instead of dinner. Someone sent us a nice breakfast tray from panera and it was really great.
anon says
A heartfelt card and gift cards for restaurants. After my dad died we got a lot of food right away, but it was too much for me and my mom to finish on our own. Unfortunately we ended up throwing away a lot. Also, continue to check in with her over the months.
Cb says
Thursday positivity. My mom has been here for a week and it’s been so lovely having her around. They moved from the US to Europe to be closer to us and it just makes life really nice (still a 3 hour flight away but still….)
She walked my first grader to and from school everyday, my husband was able to come get me from the airport/train station when I was late back because someone was home, and we cooked together and chatted.
The only problem is that it’s such a stark contrast with my in laws visits which are super stressful, and we are always feeling pressure to make things fair.
Anon says
I know this pressure is coming from your in-laws, but I don’t think you can really make things fair in this situation. My parents moved here to be with us and do extensive childcare; my in-laws live a plane flight away and even when we visit they find reasons they can’t spend the whole day with us. The relationships they have with their grandchild are never going to be close to equal and it’s ridiculous to expect it to be.
I’m glad you’re enjoying your mom!
Cb says
Yeah, I’m not going to keep a spreadsheet or tell my parents we aren’t coming so it equals out over the year. T and I often head to my parents for some winter sun / childcare help, while my husband stays behind and works, which is a bit different than us all going as a family multiple times per year. My dad is coming to get T for spring break, but a quick plane ride with my very competent dad is different.
We are just under a ton of pressure to “book in”, and make it fair, I finally put my foot down after a week in September, my husband and son visiting them in October, and then a planned visit for New Years. We are too busy between now and Christmas to feel like we can manage visitors and their habits (blocking me from my office/guest room, playing drums whilst I’m on calls, winding our son up before bedtime).
busybee says
This sounds like my mom vs my MIL. When my mom visits, she takes care of my 2 year old and drives her to daycare, will unload the dishwasher, etc. My MIL comes in like a wrecking ball, loud and always carrying unwanted gifts. Just her entrance makes the household stress level rise. She only wants to hold a baby (we have newborn twins) and the other night when she told me she’d watch the toddler while I fed the babies, I came downstairs to find toddler alone on the couch watching TV and MIL outside down the road chatting with neighbors. I feel no pressure to make things fair or even. MIL is good for the occasional short play time with toddler, but not as a true caregiver the way my mom is.
Anon says
In law dynamics are the worst. Mine are great and helpful, but they always want us to come to them and we have to ask (they never offer). They always say yes if asked, but I have no idea if we’re being burdens or if they wished we came more frequently or what.
Anon says
Does anyone have (or have they had) a toddler who LOVES typically early academic things? If so what kinds of activities, games, and toys did you find were favorites? Asking because of an upcoming birthday and the holiday season.
DS #2’s interests are – letters/phonics, numbers, shapes, being read to, etc. Dude can literally hear the ABC song, in multiple modalities, on repeat. I think he even plays pretend with his alphabets in the bath…
Very different from my first kid who was obsessed with dinosaurs and construction sites at the same age. :)
Anonymous says
Yes!!! He’s four now but starting at two LOVED puzzles…. We have really liked the giant piece Melissa and Doug floor style puzzles. Also, for shapes and building, magna-tiles (and we still play with these, just build more complicated things now). Also, haba brand wood pattern things.. one is called “colorful shapes arranging game”. My son also will sit quietly for like 45-60 minutes and work on these things (people keep telling me this is not normal and most children can’t stay focused for that long, idk, I just have the one kid and this is what he loves to do) YMMV depending on temperament.
CCLA says
Oh yes, echoing puzzles. My oldest was like this and at 3 really liked the ones with the tray from chuckle and roar at target (tray made it easier to get started on her own), and the ones from melissa and doug that are comprised of blocks and make 6 different puzzles.
Anon says
“Toddler” is a pretty broad range. He sounds similar to my DS2, so you share how old he is I can give you some great age appropriate suggestions!
OP says
He’ll be 3 at the end of the year – thank you :)
Anon says
A few big hits:: Leapfrog Mr. Pencil ABC backpack, Lakeshore Learning Alpha-Bots, Tonie Box, and his probably favorite thing to do right now is sticker by number/letter books and connect the dots workbooks. He just turned four and is doing the more complicated ones now but started out with a sticker book like this: https://www.amazon.com/My-First-Sticker-Numbers-Dinosaurs/dp/172826068X/ref=asc_df_172826068X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=634210582549&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6299549962215201670&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001880&hvtargid=pla-1928849750625&psc=1. He will literally work on them for an hour.
Anon says
OP is using it appropriately, but this is one of my pet peeves. Toddler is 1-3. Once they turn 3, they no longer toddler and are preschoolers. People talking about their 4 or 5yo “toddler” drives me bonkers!
Anon says
Ha, yes. I think 3 is debatable (although I switched to “preschooler” after her third birthday) but 4-5 year olds are in no way shape or form a “toddler.” Big Little Feelings is the worst at this. K definitely called her daughters toddlers when they were 6 or 7.
Counterpoint - not in preschool says
I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn’t refer to my just-turned-3 year old as a preschooler because to me, that’s based on activity you do, not an age you are. And my 3 year old isn’t in preschool yet (b/c we have a nanny and will do 1 year of preschool next year, before kindergarten). So preschooler doesn’t feel right because it’s not accurate/confusing. I just go with “i have two little kids” (3 years and 9 months, respectively).
Anon says
Little kids works, too. My 3yos also don’t go to school, but per researchers/official stages of child development, 3-5 is “preschool” stage. I understand why you don’t use the term, but I am a stickler for precision and these definitions exist… a child older than 3 is in a different category so, for the love, stop infantilizing with “toddler” (again, not YOU, I just see it so often)
Anon says
How old? I wouldn’t say my daughter is particularly academic but she did love puzzles, so I second that suggestion.
Anonymous says
My first thought sight words were the funnest thing ever and treated it like a challenge. We zoomed through sight word tables, and looked for them in books. My second…not so much
Cb says
An abacus. The wooden IKEA one. My son loved it as a toy, and now uses it for actual math.
TheElms says
A Yoto player, with lots of story cards, so he can listen to ALL THE STORIES. Our 4 year old is a bit like this and would happily be read to for 4+ hours if that were an option, so a Yoto player helps a lot.
A pattern block set might also be a good gift. There is a Melissa and Doug one where you put the shapes on the picture so that’s a good one to start with. https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Pattern-Developmental-Double-Sided/dp/B00006JZCG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2NKE7D0N23WH9&keywords=melissa%2Band%2Bdoug%2Bpattern%2Bblocks&qid=1698938422&sprefix=melissa%2Band%2Bdoug%2Bpattern%2Bblocks%2Caps%2C67&sr=8-1&th=1
And we have another one that you make the picture on a card from the shapes. https://www.amazon.com/LiKee-Stacking-Montessori-Educational-Toddlers/dp/B07QZB8PLW/ref=sxin_16_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?content-id=amzn1.sym.1b6a73e3-769d-477e-9f54-0fe90c31162a%3Aamzn1.sym.1b6a73e3-769d-477e-9f54-0fe90c31162a&crid=2NKE7D0N23WH9&cv_ct_cx=melissa+and+doug+pattern+blocks&keywords=melissa+and+doug+pattern+blocks&pd_rd_i=B07QZB8PLW&pd_rd_r=af40c154-cc1e-497b-8fc1-4c406fe1754c&pd_rd_w=wsRo1&pd_rd_wg=IQX6w&pf_rd_p=1b6a73e3-769d-477e-9f54-0fe90c31162a&pf_rd_r=YKAAGVAFSQMNTKTV0MEX&qid=1698938422&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sprefix=melissa+and+doug+pattern+blocks%2Caps%2C67&sr=1-1-9cb21890-b538-4fe1-898e-473f8bb6c1fa-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM&psc=1
She also really liked Go Fish the card game. You can get versions that are colors or letters. And Sneaky Snacky Squirrel is a good early board game that is about color recognition. Candy land is similar (but takes quite a while to play and drives me slightly nuts so ymmv).
Anonymous says
Audio books to follow along with the actual book. Can also throw in another language. My kids were learning English and German at home but youngest kid got into watching Dora the Explorer in Spanish at some stage. Both Disney Plus and Netflix allow you to switch the audio language and the subtitles. When doing non- English we generally have them put the subtitles on in the target language.
Melissa and Doug See and Spell wooden puzzle was also very popular.
I
Momofthree says
There’s a Thomas the Train alphabet puzzle that allows you to connect the letter to the Thomas related word starting with that letter which I now can barely find on the internet. It’s labeled “Thomas ABC Game”
There’s also a game called Sound Hounds where you connect the start & finishing part of the word together. It may be a bit advanced for your kid (and it says it’s for 7+) but my 4 year old enjoyed it.
There’s also an alphabet go-fish game.
OP says
These are all so great! I added them to a list. Thank you!
Anonymous says
For us the solution to this problem involves Cocomelon songs or Cocomelon story time on Spotify during breakfast. It takes DD’s focus off of the details she wants to control so that she just eats. We don’t do it every day, but it’s super helpful in a pinch. You say your kid’s not distracted by shiny objects, but what’s her happy place?
Anonymous says
threading fail!
Anon says
How much do you feel like early elementary age kids need to see their friends outside of school to develop close friendships? My K daughter has one close friend in her class (also a former daycare classmate and neighbor), whose mom and I have become friends and we’ve started hanging out with them basically every weekend. Which is great in many ways – it’s easy, the kids love having so much time together and I enjoy seeing the mom. But I don’t want my daughter to only have one real friend, especially at such a young age. It sounds like she plays with plenty of other kids at school and aftercare, and I feel like I should be arranging play dates with these kids so she can get to know them better. But the scheduling is always complicated, the small talk is awkward (weirdly, people seem less comfortable with drop-offs in K than they were in daycare) and the invites rarely get reciprocated, even when the kids appear to have a blast, which makes me feel like a weirdo if I keep reaching out. What do you think? Can I take the path of least resistance and just hang out with my friend, or should I push through the awkwardness of play dates with new people for my kid’s sake?
GCA says
Set up playdates with other kids (it never hurts kid to get to know a range of friends); and don’t forget you can also hang out with your friend sans kids!
Anon says
i’ve been wondering something kind of similar. though we don’t hang out with the same kids every weekend. my kids in K don’t really seem to care about seeing school friends on weekends/outside of school. should i be concerned that they don’t really seem to care? also – i am less comfortable with drop offs now than i was in preschool because i’d known all those families for a while vs. dropping my kid at what is essentially a complete strangers house
anonM says
Views on this are so varying! It sounds like she’s happy and socializing a lot. I wouldn’t worry about it. As for reciprocation, I’d really try not to take it personally. Between multiple kids, kid sickness, our large extended family, DH’s work travel schedule, etc. me not inviting people to play dates is not at all a personal affront. If you want to host, host. If you’d rather not, and kiddo doesn’t mind, don’t.
Spirograph says
Path of least resistance for sure.
Has your daughter asked for these play dates? I do not initiate social interaction for my kids unless they specifically request it. I don’t know how deep their friendships are, but my kids seem to have plenty of people to play with at recess and aftercare, as well as neighbors (probably their closest friends, just because of ease of access & lots of unstructured time together) and sports teammates. They also like playing with our couple friends’ kids. It’s rare that my kids ask to have a play date at all, but if they do, I suggest a playground meet-up if I’ve never met the parents or kid before, and then drop-off play dates after that. If I click with the parents, maybe we’ll try a family social thing at some point, but I’m an introvert and don’t really want to make small talk with kids’ friends’ parents rather than cleaning the house or reading a book while the kids play. I might feel differently about this if I had more free time, but I don’t.
I don’t think you should feel weird about reaching out again for a re-invite if they don’t reciprocate, though. There are many reasons the family might not be able to or want to reciprocate the invitation that have nothing to do with you or your daughter! (If they keep declining AND don’t reciprocate, though, maybe try a different kid)
Emotional range says
This feels like a weird question, but has anyone ever gone through periods of time where you feel like your emotional range is more narrow? I have 3 little kids including a 9 month old. Ever since the baby was born I’ve noticed that I don’t feel the moments of real joy I used to feel, even when things are objectively good. It was much worse for the first few months postpartum but has never gone away entirely. I don’t feel overly sad or despairing or anything, and I’m generally content and mostly happy with my life. But it’s a very weird sensation – maybe like just being a little bit numb?
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, did it ever go away?
Anon says
This sounds like classic postpartum depression and I think you should talk to your doctor. Hugs. <3
Anonymous says
Thats a classic symptom of depression. Sounds like your brain chemistry is still reseting from the baby.
Anon says
My husband experienced a lot of trauma/loss early in his life, and has since experienced muted happiness and sadness. His therapist theorized that your mind protects itself after experiencing significant events because very high highs and very low lows are difficult and taxing for our bodies or minds to sustain. In other words, it’s a protective response. If this is temporary, it could just be that you recently experienced a significant event, and your body is going into protective mode. It’s a lot to manage the emotional needs of older children who just welcomed a new sibling and still have busy, active lives, while also managing the physical needs of a baby and your own continued physical and emotional recovery. In order to keep going, your brain has turned down the volume, and you are focusing on proceeding forward. When my life is very busy, sometimes I also feel this muted happiness, and try to refocus on processing and just appreciating the moment.
Agreed with the others that it could be depression, so check for any other symptoms.
Anon says
+1. I ended up with surprise twins with two older children. After going through a really rough phase when they were toddlers, I remember belly laughing with one of my older children and being caught off guard momentarily. I couldn’t figure out why, then it occurred to me that it had been seriously months? a year? maybe more since I had truly belly laughed with my kids. I don’t think I was depressed in the traditional sense, but I was in the trenches of filling other people’s cups for a long time and it was tough. There was a need I was constantly filling when I was with the kids (feeding, changing clothes or diapers, answering questions, etc.), and when I wasn’t with the kids, I really relished calmness and quiet. As the physicality of toddler twins wound down, I could feel my mental space open up, and a lot of the more vivid emotions came back.
Anon says
I want to send out birth announcements. Any recommendations for companies to do the design and printing?
FP says
Minted is perfect for this – they will even print the addresses
Anon says
Recommendations for improving fine motor skills for an active 3-year boy who is very much not interested in sitting down and coloring/writing? His preschool teachers shared their concerns and recommended a few games and toys, but looking for other suggestions as well. Or is this one of those things I shouldn’t worry so much about and he’ll eventually figure out once he’s not a whirling dervish of a 3-year old?
Anon says
I would not worry about this. I think it’s odd that the teachers are concerned. I don’t think my daughter ever sat down and colored until the age of about 4.5 or 5, and she was less of a whirling dervish than many of her classmates (especially boys).
anonM says
What does he like? My son drastically improved fine motor skills by playing with tools, which he just loves. There’s a neat montessori set where they can practice putting in things like a screw, in a pretty safe way. (ex: “Panda Brothers Montessori Screwdriver Board Set”). He was not very into coloring or or painting, but he will sit with tools for hours.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – I’m trying not to worry about this with DS #2 (almost 3) because DS #1 didn’t really take interest until 4+. It really took off at 5, and now he’s almost 6 and loves to draw for fun.
Also, DS #1 was way more chill, verbal, etc. than my super active, whirling dervish DS #2.
GCA says
I wouldn’t worry too much – this was my first kid who absolutely would not sit still ever, but then he was reliably drawing and scribbling at 4ish, zipping his jacket in K, learned to tie shoelaces right before 2nd grade, etc. There are lots of ways to boost fine motor skills besides drawing/ coloring/ crafts – any sort of sensory bin play (small toys and cups/ spoons for scooping and pouring water or sand); stacking blocks; and good old playdough. (In our case, parading trucks and plastic animals through the playdough.)
Anon says
I’d probably keep trying fine motor activities just to try to keep him building skills so that he doesn’t get behind and then avoid fine motor activities. The activities don’t have to be complicated. Playdoh is great. Painting with water or chalk on the sidewalk. Those digging toys where you excavate dinosaur bones by scraping away chalk. Duplos/Legos. Magnadoodle. Small action figures. Window clings. Rainbow scratch paper. There are lots of fun and easy options.
Anon says
Does he like sticker books or other activity books? My kids are all about simple ones like the My First 100 Animals Sticker Book. Arts and crafts are also popular. We do a lot of gluing pom poms and construction paper onto random shipping boxes to make robots. I agree though about not being too concerned.
Anon says
so a lot of 3 year olds dont want to sit down and color/write, but at that age it is still a lot about improving finger strength so they can do those things when the time comes that they need to. playdough is great, putting beads or cereal on pipe cleaners, tearing paper, etc.
anonM says
+1. My comment is stuck in mod, but my DS loves playing with tools. You can search Montessori tool set manipulative board for an easy idea. Just find something he likes and you’ll both enjoy the “practice” much more.
Anonymous says
Sticker books, LEGO/ Duplo, cooking with those kid knives, peeling oranges
Anonymous says
My 5 year old came home taking about Wednesday (the Netflix show). Apparently several girls in her class watch it! I took a quick look and it seems super inappropriate for kids this age. It’s time to set up Netflix parental controls, right? She’s not a great speller but is learning and I can see her finding content we don’t want her viewing soon.
Also wow I was not ready to have to be censoring her TV content so soon. The kids her age I know well still love Bluey and Encanto. Why do kids grow up so fast these days?! 😭
Anon says
My first grader came home and told me his good friend really really really wants {here I’m assuming he’s going to say “come over”}…my son to download Fortnite so they can play together.
So, same.