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I just had my first Drybar blowout — I can’t believe it took me so long to get there. (I’ve just been going to the salon up the street.) I was very impressed with the blowout and I was also very intrigued by this shampoo, which “purifies and deep cleans your hair and scalp [and is] capable of absorbing 100-200 times its weight in impurities.” So if you don’t like the smell of apple cider vinegar, which is what I normally use for clarifying, do give this one a try. It’s $26 at Nordstrom. On the Rocks Clarifying Charcoal Shampoo
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anon says
Sorry for posting a question that has definitely been posted before but I am specifically looking for books/articles about young toddlers (so, just walking, pretty nonverbal) and their development and how to discipline (at what point are what tools appropriate?). We have a very opinionated 14 month old who already seems to throw tantrums and we are not sure the best way to handle it. TIA!
October says
Not exactly what you asked, but I’ve found this period to be the hardest so far (for my son it was more like 15-21 months). They are not talking and get so frustrated because they can’t communicate. They are crazy active and have no sense of danger. I’ve read How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen (a companion to the best-seller aimed at younger kids), and I found it focused much more on patience and understanding than discipline. None of the formal “discipline” techniques would have worked for my son at that point, and like everything in parenting, I kind of gritted my teeth and knew the phase would be over soon. I do recommend that book, though!
If there was anything truly inappropriate happening – like biting or hitting – we used firm “no”s, putting him down and leaving the room, reading “hands are not for hitting”, etc. Basically, I think all you can do when a tiny toddler is acting up is either remove them from the situation, or remove the triggering object from them. Also, make sure they are not hungry or tired, as that is the root of a lot of trouble!
OP says
October, this is actually really helpful! :) I have been nervous about allowing our little guy to develop bad habits but he doesn’t really even seem to understand what “no” means yet! I will check out the book. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Oh!!!! And, another one, my husband and I disagreed about this – but I try not to say “No” even now to my 3 and 5 year olds. I get so. much. more traction out of deferring or making the choice I want them to take an attractive one. So, “you can have another cookie tomorrow, but right now we’ve had enough” rather than “no more cookies.” Or, if it’s bath time, “I see you are playing with elmo — want to see if he floats in the tub?” rather than “You need to get in the tub RIGHT NOW.”
My husband thinks they should just obey – but bright lines mean that if they don’t do it after you’ve asked once, you’ve moved right on to punishment and everyone breaks down. I think brightline rules leave no room to escalate, whereas making the choice attractive and reminding them that a “no” is not forever gives you more room. I also think it gives them some control over the act, which is what my kids seem to crave.
GCA says
I agree about brightline rules – plus, I don’t want to cultivate complete blind obedience in my child. (I grew up…not in a democratic country, and I’ve seen what happens when people don’t think for themselves. Explaining and giving a choice is not always the most efficient way, but I’m hoping it works out in the long run.) I think there’s a time and place for hard and fast ‘no’s and giving them space to calm down, but I feel like that’s for older toddlers who grasp deliberate misbehavior. At 14 months, distraction can still work, as well as baby sign language which can help them communicate better.
Anonymous says
+1. My husband and i are on the fence about #3, and ages 14 mos through like 2 yrs are a sticking point for us. If applicable, I had active boys, and looking back, I realize they needed (a) control of something, (b) exercise, and (c) time. So, give them as many choices as possible, let them use and tire their whole bodies, and teach a little bit of sign language. I found the “Maximum Effort” theory from Montessori to be helpful here to take the edge off. I also had late talkers and teaching them signs for “Help Please,” “More,” “All Done”, “I need that please”, etc. really helped them from giving me a point blank “No.”
EB0220 says
+1 That this age is very hard. They have opinions, but you can’t reason with them at all. In my opinion, the even years are pretty great and the odd years are pretty tough so far.
JTX says
Happiest Toddler on the Block and 1-2-3 Magic (this one is more for kids 2+).
octagon says
The techniques in Happiest Toddler on the Block have worked well for us.
We also try to say “stop” instead of “no.”
Baby sign language has been great too — not perfect, but helps the communication.
If all else fails, we change scenery. The two foolproof ones are outside for a walk or up into a bath.
OP says
Can anyone share a good source to learn some baby sign language from? This is all super helpful. TIA!
avocado says
The Baby Signing Time videos are great.
shortperson says
try following janet lansbury on facebook. she posts a lot of helpful articles if you are into RIE, which has worked really well for us.
layered bob says
No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury is hands down the best. We also liked How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, which is along the same lines/consistent in technique.
The hardest part of toddler discipline, for me at least, is the work on myself – being truly accepting of my child’s emotions and growing independence; feeling truly confident in my choices and limits; being disciplined enough to consistently and calmly stick to the boundaries and routines I’ve created. If I do that work on *myself*, my children’s behavior is magically better.
Myrna Minkoff says
Plus one on Janet Lansbury. Excellent guidance. I’ll have to try the “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.”
TBK says
When my kids were that age, we took the approach of (1) affirming and naming the feeling (you really want to go outside right now. You’re really mad you can’t go outside.) (2) reaffirming that even though they wanted X, X was not happening (You want to go outside, but that’s not what we’re doing right now. Right now we’re having dinner.) (3) suggesting acceptable ways to express these feelings (You’re stomping your foot! You must be really mad! Do you want to stomp again so I can see how mad you are?) (4) letting the tantrum run its course (5) swooping in with a hug and some deep breaths when it seemed like the tantrum had peaked. At that age, I don’t think most kids are using tantrums to manipulate. They’re really just overcome with emotions, with no coping tools, no context (they can’t really grasp that they can’t do X now, but they can do X in an hour — it’s like it’s NEVER going to happen), and no control over their lives. I feel like they need to know that it’s okay to be angry, but there are good and bad ways to express anger, and that I’m here to help them through the anger. We joke that one of my guys has been in the terrible twos since he was about 8 months old. But it does get better. They’re now 3 1/2 and that one is really developing some good coping skills. We use time-outs for when they are intentionally disobedient (e.g., I say “don’t take my phone. I need it” and the kid looks me in the eye and reaches for the phone) but for tantrums we might take the fussy kid to a quiet room to calm down, but there’s still no punishment for having a tantrum.
AwayEmily says
I found the Janet Lansbury stuff especially good for helping me see things from my kid’s perspective — the idea that your kids want nothing more than for you to be calm and consistent. And when they push on the rules it’s not because they are being deliberately disobedient, it’s because they are testing to make sure that you will always react with that same level of calmness and consistency. So, when I give in “just this once” (like, by not making her pick up food she dropped on the floor) it’s actually not me doing something nice for my kid, it’s the opposite — I’m making her a little less certain of the rules and of my reliability, and making the world a slightly scarier place.
Anyway, I don’t find all of JL’s stuff 100% convincing but the overall framework was super helpful.
PregLawyer says
I liked Positive Discipline. Also, Toddler 411 has a nice section on discipline.
GCA says
What does it mean to have impure hair? What are the impurities being cleansed out? Anyone know? /removes tongue from cheek
Anonanonanon says
We’re all impure, we’re women. Thanks, original sin!
(joking, obviously)
Anon says
Pretty sure that’s the new way of saying “dirt and oil”.
Definitely don’t understand what clarifying is, or why you need a special process to do it to your hair, though.
Anonanonanon says
I’m glad/sad there’s not a drybar near me. I don’t get my nails done regularly (like… maybe once a year), I have stupid thin brows so I don’t wax, I don’t keep up with haircuts as well as I should, but I would LOVE to beauty splurge on a good blowout at least once a week. I have thin, straight hair but I’d like to have it blown out so it looks like it is styled/has volume. Probably for the best that there’s nowhere very close to me that does that.
shortperson says
i love drybar in theory but every time i go there i have a terrible experience, usually w overbooking. once a stylist almost cried when she saw my curly hair and didnt know what to do w it.
Anonymous says
Ha, I have thin fine straight hair and every time I’ve gone to drybar, the stylist has made my hair limp, stuck to my head, and totally life-less. I’ve sworn it off because I can do better myself, with my head upside-down.
Tattoos for Moms says
I know this has been discussed plenty, but I’m curious for an update. How many of you have tattoos? Are they large? Are they visible at work? Have they caused any undue stress?
I have a few but nothing large. I am pregnant and once this little one is born, I am super excited to know that there will not be another pregnancy in my future. I am itching for ink but I’m also on the line between not caring what people think anymore and knowing better for my conservative office.
GCA says
I got mine when I was still in grad school (aged 23) and deliberately picked a location that was not visible in workwear and wouldn’t be too much affected by pregnancy, weight changes, etc. Small (5 inches long), and no stress! I would like another, but I still wouldn’t put it anywhere obvious just because I don’t want to field toooo many questions about what it means to me. I think people understand that it’s just art, and art that often holds a personal meaning, and by the next generation or so I don’t think it’ll be a big deal to have a small portion of a tattoo peeking out from a sleeve or skirt hem – the only risk IMO is professional conversations getting derailed by tattoo-related ones.
Anonanonanon says
I have on inside my lower lip, so basically never visible. I see a lot of food tattoos on women at my current office and usually work with someone for quite a bit before I even notice. I see a lot of upper arm tattoos in my male colleagues, who generally don’t have a problem with them peeking out from under a polo shirt etc. on more casual days, but do wear dress shirts that cover them up for larger/more formal meetings. Seems like a good approach, but my office does not actually have a formal tattoo policy that I’m aware of.
Anonanonanon says
foot tattoos. NOT food tattoos.
ElisaR says
haha i was so confused ….. trying to picture a burger and french fries on someone’s arm….
Rainbow Hair says
I have a tattoo that is a lot of my shoulder and upper arm. Elbow length sleeves cover it. It’s never been seen at work. It’s a little bit annoying because sometimes I want to wear something sleeveless, but not enough to make me regret it. I’ve had people talk trash about women with tattoos to me at work (nb, the actual trash person is you, Mr. Judging Women Based On This) because they assume I don’t have any … makes me glad I don’t show mine I guess.
I have the next tattoo I want aaaaall planned out, but I just need to find some money first. It’s kind of my-daughter themed/inspired.
ElisaR says
i do not have any tattoos – i guess it’s a “know your office” type of thing. it is definitely not acceptable to have a visible tattoo in my office…but i’m not in law like most of the crowd here.
my thought is that while it might be “wrong” for someone to judge another for choosing to display a tattoo….. it still happens and could result in a subconscious (or conscious) or even shaded view of a co-worker.
AIMS says
Good to know about DryBar. I tried Blo and was super unimpressed. My hair is very easy to style too if you know what you’re doing so I’ve always been happy with haircut blowouts or even just simple random corner salon ones.
PSA for Parents says
I’m visiting from the main page. I decided to not post there because I don’t want to get flamed and because I don’t want to start a big debate about guns. My PSA is that if you are ever staying with friends or family with your children, don’t be afraid to ask if they have guns and if they are secured. I’ll start by saying nothing bad happened here but I’m just upset at my own train of thought.
I do not have kids and I was having an annual big party with friends. This is usually a big drinking party and we’ve never had kids at it. Actually, we’ve never had a kid sleep over our house before. Our friends decided to bring their 5 year old. We decided to give them our master bedroom so they’d have a private bathroom for the kid and more quiet/privacy at night, and we’d stay in the guest room. I had at least 10 people sleeping over. They were going to put the kid to bed around 8 and then come back and party with us.
Before they arrived, I tried to think of things a kid could get into and take them out of the room. I took out my gardening tools from my bedside table, the remote for my alarm system and a panic button we have in a closet. What I didn’t even think of removing was a bb gun that looks just like a real gun that is in my husband’s bedside table (so drunk friends don’t find it and play with it) and a real gun that is locked in a safe in my closet. I highly doubt the kid would have guessed the 5 digit code correctly and turned the key the right way to access it but I would have at least wanted to double check that everything was properly locked up. We had recently put our passports back in that safe. What if we hadn’t locked it right? The gun is unloaded and the magazine lives on top of the safe so even if the kid did get in the safe he’d have to load it. He can’t hurt himself with just the unsecured magazine but it would have been pretty scary for him to find it and have it. My closet door was shut and he had no reason to be in there anyway but who knows what kids will do when left on their own.
So, please, if your kids are ever sleeping in an adult’s bedroom, don’t be afraid to ask if there are guns in there. I tried to make sure I was thinking of everything. I thought of bedroom toys but I didn’t think of guns. The gun is very rarely used so it is something I rarely think about.
Anonanonanon says
Thank you for this reminder. besmart.org has great resources for how to have this conversation as well as “SMART” being an acronym for how to handle and store guns around children.
My son once found and played with a gun at my ex’s house, and it still haunts me to think of what could have happened!
Anonanonanon says
oops it’s “besmartforkids.org”
Anonanonanon says
I didn’t check the comments on these posts while I was on vacation last week, how are the ‘rette newborns doing?
TBK says
Random question: Is it me, or do stores now stock fall clothes much later than they used to? I remember fall clothes being in full swing by the time we did back to school shopping (around now). And it always seemed weird to be trying on sweaters when it was over 80 degrees outside. But now I’m kind of ready to start thinking about what I need for the fall but it seems like everything is still summer clearance. I’m always ready for summer to be over so maybe I’m just mis remembering the past. Or is it that there are more “seasons” now (I recently saw ads for “pre-fall collections” — what is that?)
October says
I was just wondering this — was in Target this weekend and they seemed to have barely any fall toddler clothes out (like, I couldn’t find a single sweatshirt). Most of it was still summer clearance items.
avocado says
It’s not just you–I had the same thought this summer.
Kim says
I wondered this today – I was shopping LandsEnd for my kid’s fall wardrobe, and they had a pretty small selection of long-sleeved shirts, compared to what they usually have.
Anonymous says
I feel like food and clothing production are on opposite schedules — I can barely find enough long-sleeved clothes to buy one week’s worth for my LO, but halloween candy is on display at my grocery store. (northeast, fwiw.) It’s not just you, TBK!
Maddie Ross says
I think, personally, it’s because back-to-school shopping (and shopping in general) are so different now than 20+ years ago. I remember going back-to-school shopping and legit buying all the new clothes and shoes we would need for the school year (or at least until Christmas) and my mom hoping we didn’t go through a growth spurt. Now with sales and availability, and the propensity for people (me included) to shop all year, it’s a different story. They just assume you’ll go buy your sweater in October, rather than mid-August.
Rainbow Hair says
Does anyone have any good insights on how to dress a 2.5 year old for a trip to Anchorage in late September without spending a fortune? We live somewhere with basically no weather, and if it rains we use hand-me-down boots, but I don’t even know where to start for potential snow, potential rain, but it’s certainly not worth *investing* since she’ll only wear it on this trip… Maybe she can wear her rain boots in the rain and snow, if we can get warm socks under them (do they make warm socks for kids?)… I guess I can try to thrift a larger rain coat and layer a hoodie under it…?
anon says
I don’t buy a lot of my son’s clothes on Ebay but find it useful for saving $$ on specific outerwear needs like a winter coat or boots. I look for something made from down in his size from a brand I consider reputable. The Children’s Place’s 3-in-1 winter coats are cheap and might work if it isn’t super cold or torrential rain. (I live in NYC and have a friend who swears by them for her daughter’s winter wear; they seem a little light to me). We have an iPlay rain coat I really like that wasn’t very expensive. A poncho could also be used over anything if they make them that small. Or, you know, a trash bag in a pinch.
Rainbow Hair says
Thanks, looking up these brands, and hitting up ebay too! There’s a Children’s Place outlet not far away, I wonder what the chances are that they’d have anything wintery.
Anonymous says
Children’s Place might have $15 snow boots, too (which I always buy for my kids – in the northeast).
mascot says
+1 for a 3 in 1 jacket. Lands End has one https://www.landsend.com/products/girls-stormer-3-in-1-parka/id_303917?sku_0=::M97 and Columbia also makes one.
It rarely goes below freezing here so we got a lot of use out of our 3 in 1 jacket.
AwayEmily says
Are you on any neighborhood parent listservs? I bet if you asked around you could find things to borrow…people accumulate a lot of random kids’ clothes, even in weather-less places. I think with big-ticket items like winter coats people might be reluctant to straight up give them away (“we might need it someday!”) but would be happy to let you borrow for a week. At least on my local listserv, parents (strangers, not people who know each other) often seem borrow and lend out “specialty” clothing and baby items.
Rainbow Hair says
Thanks for this idea!