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I think this maternity sweater would be a great option for Zoom meetings as well as in-office workdays that are more casual than the norm. I really like asymmetrical neckline — it elevates this from a basic sweater and could draw the eye away from your pregnancy-enhanced bustline, if that’s something you’re self-conscious about. (The neckline is easier to see in the photo of the black version.)
If you run hot during pregnancy, no problem. This sweater is a soft rayon/polyester/spandex blend — no wool to be found! It’s also machine washable, although not dryer safe. It comes in the pictured gray as well as black, but I prefer the gray and like the mottled look of the hacci fabric.
The sweater is $88 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS–XL. Claire Maternity Sweater
Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Okay, y’all, if I am to survive winter lockdown (in a cold Midwest state), I need one or more winter hobbies. In summer, we are always outside and getting bored isn’t an issue for me. But I already don’t like the cold, dread winter, etc. I need something something to do that brings me joy. On the current list is to go through everything we own and purge. But I need something a little more joyous than that in the mix. Open to outdoor hobbies if you teach me how to dress so that I’m not miserable.
Cb says
I think a belongings purge is a great idea. I wonder if some sort of reading challenge might be good, a la the summer reading challenges of our youth? Indoor gardening – succulents or something?
A colleague’s office is doing a winter self-care bingo, which includes virtual coffee dates, listening to albums, spotting Christmas trees, etc.
Anonymous says
Baking!
Anon says
Learn to knit? Start with an easy scarf, but buying gorgeous yarns (online) would make this fun for me. Scarves don’t usually take a lot of yarn so you can order something luxurious and it won’t break the bank. Plenty of good online tutorials too
Anonanonanon says
Every once in a while I take up cross stitching to do a small project. It’s incredibly easy (you sew Xs following a pattern) and you can order kits that already have everything you need online.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The age of your kids will determine whether some of these are feasible: get those 500-1000 piece puzzles and start working through them every day (won’t work for me now with a 4.5 year old and 2 year old but I’m looking forward to this in the future!), re-organize your house and swap out photos/art on the walls as needed, start your yearly photo album or organize photos from the year. For outdoors, invest in some snow pants and a winter jacket for the family and go sledding, build snowpeople and maybe see if your zoos do a holiday lights show of some sort? Ours does every year and it’s nice, although obviously be mindful of the crowds and wear your masks.
[email protected] says
We actually have a fair amount of luck doing puzzles with young kids (during naptime and after bedtime), but the key is having a good way to store half-finished puzzles away from curious fingers.
HSAL says
I survived spring puzzle season by putting our table protector on top of the puzzle. That gave me 90% success with our (then) 4 1/2 year old and almost 2 year old twins.
Spirograph says
Does your cold midwest state get a decent amount of snow? If so, try cross-country skiing or snowshoeing. It’s great exercise, and you just need some good, wicking base layers, a pair of snow-pants, water-resistant gloves, and a fleece or sweatshirt on top until you get warmed up. You probably can rent some gear the first couple times to see if you like it, and if you do, the secondhand market is usually pretty good.
Anonymous says
Yes to this! I wish it actually snowed here so we could snowshoe and cross-country ski.
Anon says
Was coming to say the same thing. If you live near an REI, they may rent equipment
Anon says
Baking and cooking. I love downhill skiing, but I don’t foresee us heading to a resort for that this winter, which is a shame because kiddo (3) is definitely old enough to start. We’ll see how things are by February maybe. I actually am outside more in the winter because I don’t like the summer heat, mostly chasing my kid around the playground or going for walks. Key for dressing is a warm base layer (wicking if you are going to be active), a mid-weight warmth layer, and if you’re going to be in snow, wind or rain, a water and windproof outer layer. For base layers I like silk long underwear or underarmour cold gear. Midweight I would suggest fleece, and some fleece includes windproofing. And then you want a waterproof outerlayer (personal favorite jacket is marmot). I actually these days use a goretex rain coat over a down puffer rather than a heavy coat, because it gives me more layering options. For walking on bitterly cold days, I love my land’s end stadium squall. Got me through many a Chicago winter. A good hat and toasty mittens are delightful, and for boots I love my sorels. And when all else fails, hand and toe warmers are not just for the slopes.
Anonymous says
I feel like I actually have all of the necessary layers on top, but I struggle with bottoms. What do I wear over the gold gear? I run in my neighborhood down to about 25ish degrees. I can throw a coat over my cold weather running layers and be okay. And I have nice boots. But I don’t know how to layer my legs. Is there something less than snow pants to wear over the cold gear? I don’t know how to dress to not be active in the winter, if that makes sense.
Anon says
I do not run, so defer to those that do, but fleece pants or rain pants add warmth with some windblocking work for me for walking. For just being outside in non-athletic clothes, I wear tights or silk long underwear under corduroy pants.
Anon says
Also flannel lined denim when I lived in Chicago (in the mid-Atlantic now where I rarely even have to break out a coat).
So Anon says
What my kids and I do for cold weather (northern New England) is layer a wicking layer closest to skin and the top layer is waterproof (not just water repellant) pants. We get our waterproof pants from LLBean. If you need an extra layer in there, fleece leggings or pants work great over the wicking layer and under the waterproof.
When I run in the cold, I wear a thick pair of running leggings, found at a true running store, and then add the waterproof layer as a wind blocking layer.
Anonymous says
I really like the LLL lined Dance Studio pant for winter walks.
katy says
I got some cross country ski specific pants. They are the weight of lined legging but a little baggier so you can easily slip long-underwear underneath. They are NOT waterproof, but they are wind resistant on the front and breathable in the back, so you don’t feel like you are melting once you get the exertion up. I have worn them with light leggings / long-underwear cross country skiing / snowshoeing down to about – 10C comfortably. Warmer than that i would wear them without an underlayer for a run (eg if you were around 0 celcius you wouldn’t need an underneath layer for a shorter run) Much below -10, i stay inside!
Anonymous says
9:45 Anon, ymmv but I started researching the ski resort we’ve gone to the last few years, and it looks like they’ll be open (barring health orders to the contrary). We almost certainly won’t be doing apres ski at any indoor bars this year, and the “kids night out program” is cancelled, but I feel like downhill sports are a perfect socially distant activity, plus if it’s windy and really cold, everyone’s already wearing a mask! Ski school will be open, but with “modifications” (it usually has groups <5 kids for the youngest kids anyway), people will not be required to ride a lift with anyone outside their party, the lift lines are being reconfigured for distancing, and advanced reservations are required due to capacity limits.
We typically drive and rent a condo + bring our own food for most nights, so it's pretty easy to avoid people. We haven't pulled the trigger yet, but I'm feeling OK about it.
Anonymous says
Cleaning isn’t a hobby! Purging your stuff is a chore. Can you go for hikes? Walks? Do you have snow? Snowshoe, ski, sled. You need warm socks and footwear that keeps your feet dry, layers, and always a hat scarf and gloves.
Eek says
I know this is *technically* true but I have been getting such a rush lately from purging stuff. It feels like an amazing hobby
Cb says
Haha, true! And I give things away on freecycle which means when they pick it up, I can have a brief and socially distanced socially interaction.
Anon says
Yep, cleaning is not a hobby. Try skiing or winter walks or snowshoeing. Anything that gets you into nature and breathing the crisp, cold air is key. It’s unbelievably refreshing.
anonn says
I’m hoping to finally put together my daughter’s baby book and do better at starting one for our baby that’s coming in January. Old school scrapbooking.
SC says
DH and I love to cook and bake. It’s fun to take on a long-term project together. We learned to make pizza this spring/summer–tried a bunch of different recipes and techniques, took a virtual class on it, read a bunch. We’re planning to try Ethiopian food, including making our own injera, soon.
I also enjoy reading. And DH and I play board games and strategy video games. Those may be more entertainment than hobby, but they bring me joy.
I’m not sure it counts as a hobby, but we’ve also started doing DIY stuff around the house. It’s not exactly joyous, but there’s a certain satisfaction in the work and the result. We can only do a little at a time, so we either do small projects or just know it will take us a while to complete a large one. We’ve done things like change plumbing fixtures, install dimmer switches, and change lighting fixtures and ceiling fans and hardware. Now we’re painting a room, which is taking forever.
LittleBigLaw says
Any recommendations for 2 person board games? We mostly play cards and do puzzles but would love to find something new for after the kids go to bed.
Anonymous says
An oldie but a goodie…Scattergories is my favorite game. DH and I occasionally pull it out, and it works for two. We also like trivia type games. So various iterations of Trivial Pursuit.
Katarina says
My husband and played a lot of games before we had kids. Scrabble, Imperial Settlers, Dominion, Pandemic, Ticket to Ride, Splendor, Carcassone, Stratego
Anon says
I live in the upper midwest. I bought a super warm Patagonia coat on Worn Wear (Jackson Glacier Parka). †gm I am wearing it today and it is amazing. I had a North Face coat for years that was warm, but not like this one!
I am taking up downhill skiing this year, and my 4 year old is taking lessons with friends, since we can do it outside (I guess obviously it is outside!). It’s super expensive, but with WFH, I have some extra time and with no traveling I have some extra money. So it seems like the year to do it.
Mathy says
My 5yo son discovered this morning at breakfast that has his first loose tooth! He is elated, as he is apparently the last kid in his class to have all of his baby teeth. There was SO MUCH JOY this morning!
For some reason, this milestone hit me so much more than nearly anything in recent memory. I had to leave the breakfast table so I could sob in my room for a few minutes. How is time moving so fast?!
Motherhood, man. Hits all the feels.
GCA says
Aww, too cute!
My oldest is in kindergarten this year (and, don’t worry, still has all his baby teeth…I didn’t have a single loose tooth till well after I turned six). This is an especially weird year for all those firsts. It’s moving so fast and I have no idea how to document it all. Is it a first day of school if he’s sitting at home in his stockinged feet and there’s no need to unpack his books and put them in his desk?…
Katarina says
I am surprised your 5 year old son was the last in his class to lose a tooth. My son lost his first tooth right after his seventh birthday.
Anonymous says
Should I be worried that my 2.75 year old doesn’t have her second set of molars? It looks like one bottom one is partially erupted but the other bottom one and the top ones are still completely missing. She got all her other teeth on the early side. Her ped said to go to a dentist if they’re not all at least partially there by her third birthday, which we’ll do, just wondering if anyone can reassure me this is not that weird.
Cb says
My 3 year old is still missing 4 molars. There are lumps back there but they haven’t cut through. Our dental appointments were cancelled so I haven’t had the chance to ask about it. He was a late teether though, so I assume they are just tardy.
Pogo says
I’d ask at your 3yr well child, but with COVID my ped wasn’t recommending going to the dentist yet. I can’t imagine they’d do anything for molars coming in late.
anonyK says
Both of my kids got their teeth on the later side and not in the usual order. My second is now 16 months and has started getting molars before she got the front 4 teeth on the bottom (she had the middle ones but got one molars on one side before she got the outer ones). My point is, this stuff is just weird and it doesn’t always go a particular way and I don’t think there is anything they can do anyway. So I would not stress about it. My husband and his sister are also missing one set of teeth, just congenitally. I don’t remember which ones, just that they have fewer teeth than typical. They are fine. Just a genetic quirk or, as my husband puts it in medical terms, “normal variant.”
Also some of these recommendations (see a dentist) are just rote. Your kid is supposed to see a dentist by/at age 3 (or at least the peds usually say 3, the dentists say 1) anyway, no matter what is going on with their teeth. Under pandemic conditions, depending on situation where you live, I might not even bother with that. I found dental visit prior to age 4 a complete waste of time and I’m currently ignoring my new pediatrician’s suggested to take my 1 year old to the dentist (suggested not for any particular concern, but just because).
Piper Dreamer says
When would you announce pregnancy during COVID? I am 11 weeks pregnant and have been having bad morning sickness – this is my second so pretty par for the course. Last time, I had to announce early because my morning sicknesss landed me in the hospital but this time, fortunately with covid, I have been able to hide it as I have been WFH since March (will be for the foreseeable future). WWYD?
Relevant considerations:
1. I have my annual review next week (it will be a positive one from what I have been told).
2. Our firm does not pay bonus until spring (which will be in my third trimester).
3. I have been involved in a lot more pitches as I get more senior for deals that, if we are hird, will happen next spring/summer. I would love to be considered to be a lead associate (esp for deals that will happen in the summer after my mat leave. I also plan on working a bit on mat leave versus being completely out.
4. I have a close female partner mentor that I can confide to if needed.
5. Based on last time, I should get better soon and will be able to hide even more easily during the second trimester.
Anon says
Can you work on maternity leave without jeopardizing disability benefits? If you’re considered well enough to work, you might not still be eligible for disability. This is a question I have always wondered about.
Pogo says
You cannot work while on disability, that is insurance fraud. In the US tho that only covers a small portion of most people’s leave, like right now I’m just on unpaid FMLA so I can log in and keep up with some stuff at work without worrying about disability. And on any paid leave you can work just like we all work on vacation….
Anonymous says
It’s not just like vacation though, because you’re not on FMLA leave when you take a normal vacation. I think it really depends on the employer and some employers prohibit work at any time while on leave. My state govt employer is very strict that you can’t work while on any kind of FMLA leave. I got in trouble for responding to emails, even though my leave was a combination of sick leave/paid parental leave/regular vacation leave, and this was later in my leave so the sick leave had expired.
[email protected] says
FMLA can be used intermittently though, right? I took 30 hours a week of FMLA, but would also have 10 hours a week of paid time where I dealt with emails, etc.
I guess this only is relevant to people who fill out hourly time cards, though.
rosie says
My employer does not allow FMLA leave to be used intermittently unless it’s for a medical thing that is actually intermittent (like drs appointments), so I couldn’t use it to keep up with things while on leave by working (very) part time. It felt like a really crappy policy.
Anonymous says
You can’t work on unpaid leave! It’s a wage and hour violation. Your employer shouldn’t be letting you and you shouldn’t be doing it. It also sets a terrible example for anyone junior.
Anonanonanon says
Not if you’re FLSA exempt, though, right?
Anonymous says
Uh no. Even exempt employees must still be paid for work they do. You can’t have people work for you and not pay them.
Anonanonanon says
I was told I could not work a single second (even respond to an email) while on short-term disability, but afterward (just on FMLA) it was OK. Not sure how much my HR dept was worth, though, so take that with a bucket of salt
Piper Dreamer says
That is a good question! I need to check with HR but last time (3 years ago), I don’t recall having any restrictions around working a couple of hours a day to check emails, forward emails etc. (basically what I do on vacation days).
Anonymous says
Are they paying you?
rosie says
A couple hours a day?! Please do not do this. It sets a terrible example and your employer should not be getting your services for free.
Anon says
I had 5 months of paid leave and was not supposed to be working any meaningful amount of time. I would check emails for max 15 minutes every few days in case a client emailed me and didn’t copy anyone else (happened a few times), but that’s it.
Piper Dreamer says
Yes, fully paid. Also, last time I missed my full bonus because of the leave. We would love to be able to keep some extra cash for personal/family reasons so another reason that I want to work a bit. The difference would be around $30k so not insubstantial…
Anonymous says
Yeah you’re not gonna get your full bonus
Anon says
Wait, I’m confused. Last time you worked a couple hours a day and still lost your bonus. So this time, you’ll work more? It sounds like you’ll lose your bonus regardless, why would working during your leave be helpful?
Piper Dreamer says
Last time, I did not work (but was not told that I could not work). It was way too difficult to bill 2,000 within 9 months so I missed the target. If I could bill 200 hours this time over 3 months, I just need to bill 1800 over 9 months, which is a little below my average right now so it is doable.
In any event, it sounds like 20 weeks is a good time to tell work so I will go with that. Thanks all!
Anonymous says
20 weeks and you shouldn’t plan or be permitted to work on leave.
Anonymous says
I’m in my third trimester with baby #2 as of today. I told the office this time around at 20 weeks, right after my anatomy scan. It felt rude/ awkward to wait longer than that, but I didn’t feel any need to mention it earlier. With my first I announced around 14 weeks, I think? I also have a history of miscarriages so I have generally preferred to wait as long as possible.
anonyK says
Same here. Though I am currently pregnant with #3. I have a history of miscarriages as well and this particular pregnancy was given a poor prognosis early on (though I’m out of first trimester now and all testing has been low risk so far). We are having the anatomy scan a little early (at 18 w) due to the anxiety and I’ll probably tell shortly after that. Told around 20 weeks with my second also. With my first, I think I told my boss a little earlier. If we were still going into the office I might have had to disclose by now or everyone would already be suspicious (definitely showing sooner with the third), so I feel lucky to have been able to hide it while teleworking. But waiting much past 20 weeks seems inconsiderate in terms of planning for leave.
anon says
This may be an unpopular position, but as in-house counsel, I would be very uncomfortable knowing that my outside counsel was working on mat leave. I’ve had a newborn and it would be hard for me to believe that I had your full attention (notwithstanding that I’d be paying full freight for your time) and I would be troubled that your firm allowed it given that I believe strongly that parental leave should be just that – leave.
Note that I feel the same way if my outside counsel are clearly working while on vacation – I’ve been in biglaw and I know I was never happy about working on vacation and I really don’t want someone who is unhappily trying to cram in work around a family vacation doing my work. I’m less bothered by it if it’s a partner bc I know that they’re reaping the benefits of my business, but I really hate it when I can tell an associate is on vacation. Total flashbacks to my own associate days.
Anonymous says
I totally agree. I do not want someone working on my matter if they are supposed to be on maternity leave or on vacation.
Anonymous says
I 100% agree and think this is a very popular opinion among in-house counsel.
Anon says
I’m newly pregnant and also recently switched OBs to one within walking distance of my home! I really like the new OB and she has a great bedside manner. There are two downsides – she’s not high-risk but I am so I have my ultrasounds at a different office with a different doc further away. The bigger issue is that my doc has no electronic medical records system. I have no way to view my test results from all of the labs and I have two auto-immune disorders that need monitoring. I realize that this used to be the norm but I’m a huge advocate for being in charge of your own health and I just feel like even the best doctors can be tired and miss something when they look at test results. I called to follow up on my first round of labs and was told that “The doc will only call if something is wrong. No news is good news.” It sounds so incredibly old fashioned to me now. Would this be a deal breaker for you?
OtterMom says
I think you need to push back on whatever office person said “No news is good news” and say that you would really like your actual results, even if they are good. I would maybe add that you are comfortable talking with someone other than the doctor just to receive the results (maybe there is some sort of policy that the office staff cannot disseminate that information?) or would talk to a nurse about them. Another option is . . . go there in person to get your results and physically look at them (if the office is worried about the oral version of a transcription error). Given that it’s walking distance, it could be a good lunchbreak walk!
Pogo says
It definitely spoils you having a doctor with a good online system. It wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me, but I 100% agree you have the right to know your actual results.
Anonanonanon says
Yes. It would.
I have an autoimmune disorder as well and it was so important and helpful that everyone from my specialist down to my eye doctor had full access to my electronic records, knew my diagnosis, and could look for extra things accordingly.
I had an issue for which the resolution would have been missed if my specialist and OB didn’t have access to each other’s records.
Anonymous says
Yes, it would be a dealbreaker for me, but I also have two chronic health conditions and am a big believer in having to advocate for myself with all my doctors. My “healthy” friends seem much more trusting of doctors. (Although I will say that I always check medicine doses with Dr G00gle and have found serious errors twice – one for myself, once for my kid, both times antibiotics so the mistake probably wouldn’t have been fatal, but it really scared me because some prescription dose errors definitely can be. So I think I would want everything in writing even if I didn’t have underlying health conditions.)
Anonymous says
Yes definitely. If you are high risk I would only use a high risk ob gyn. This one doesn’t sound capable of meeting your needs.
AnotherAnon says
I worked as an admin for a doctor over a decade ago, so I looked this up. There was actually a mandate that all practices will include EMR by 2014. So what she’s doing is actually in violation of the law. I think that, coupled with the “no news is good news” would be a deal breaker for me.
Anonymous says
It is possible that the doctor’s office has EMR but no patient portal.
Anon says
My OBs (regular plus my consult for high risk), hematologist and dermatologist are electronic but my PCP is not. Frankly I prefer the PCP – I feel like we are having a conversation rather than someone trying to check all the boxes in an electronic form and barely able to look at the patient. My PCP will often give test results over the phone if pressed (for good results – for concerning results they want you to come in), and in any event they will snail mail lab results when received, so we always get a copy.
Anon says
I would demand that there be at least a call no matter whether the results are good or bad especially as you are high risk. Doctors/nurses/staff are human and make mistakes. What if the lab results weren’t put on your doctor’s desk and she didn’t review them?
Anon says
For pregnancy, I’d want my labs to be in an EMR accessible both by my OB and at the hospital (and me). You never know when something might necessitate a trip to the hospital. I’d want the staff there to know how I’ve been doing and not have to wait on my OB. That’d go double for a high risk pregnancy.
Also, depending on what’s making me high risk, I’d probably want an OB who specializes in that. Though, there might be “high risk” conditions that don’t require a specialist OB, I don’t know obstetrics.
OtterMom says
I posted late Friday about the stokke high chair (and someone very helpful let me know it does not reach up to counter height). I would love something like it, though, that will also convert to a toddler chair. I LOVE our counter-height table, and a clips-to-the-table high chair won’t work for us (because of a wooden skirt). I was looking around online this weekend and found the Abiie Beyond, which had an answered question on Amazon that said the highest setting was fine for counter height. Anyone have this one and can give thoughts? Any other options for us?
Funny weekend says
We fed some ducks this weekend, my 4 year old daughter gave them all names, and I about died laughing. Names: Lucky, Sad Bat, Daddy, White Cranberry, SwampDuck, and Kathy.
Cb says
Amazing. We go to this little farm shop and there are two highland coos in the field nearby. There is a couple who work there – Katy and Caroline – and they have made friends with my son. In their honour, my son has named the cows Katy and Caroline. Not sure they’d find that flattering.
Anonanonanon says
Bahahaha the “Kathy” got me for some reason. I heard it in the “and peggy” voice from Hamilton
Pogo says
My niece and nephew named their actual pet guinea pigs names like that – think “Batman” and “Chad”. It always cracks me up that they gave one of them a random boys name and the other one is named after a comic book hero. Kid brains work in the funniest way.
Cb says
My in-laws got a cat last week and named it Amy which is just really weird to me?
anon says
We had pet ducks that we named Chris (my brother’s pick) and Kathleen (after our favorite sitter). All my hamsters were named after mythology figures. Kids are delightfully weird.
Anonymous says
lol love this! I also heard the “and Peggy” voice for Kathy. Poor Kathy.
My kids named every animal at the zoo recently. My daughter (5) named all of them all Oreo, just because it angered her older brother (7) so much. Every exhibit we walked up to, she’d sneak a sly glance at him, and say “this one’s name is Oreo!” and he would start stomping and freaking out, “you can’t name the tiger Oreo! You already named the otter Oreo AND the lemur AND the elephant! THEY CAN’T ALL BE NAMED OREO. Besides, it’s MY TURN to name the animal!” I’d get him calmed down, he’d decide on what name he was going to call the animal, and then we’d start all over again at the next one.
Lilau says
Haha. My four year old named his stuffed bunny rabbits “salami” and”Louisiana.” I had no idea his vocabulary included either of these words.
AnotherAnon says
A colleague let his nephew name his cat, so his cat’s name is “Barbecue.” His email to our work group “I’m going to pick up Barbecue from the vet.” garnered some confused responses, lol.
So Anon says
Thank you all for the laugh this morning!
Anonymous says
OMG I literally LOLed.
Peanut says
Our kids had chickens and we parents secretly named them Kiev, Parmesan, Meatball and Marsala.
Anon says
potty training questions. i recently read ‘oh crap’ per the suggestions on this site (you were all correct, reading the first 5 chapters was super quick). do most people who follow that sort of method just wait until the day you start to ever put your kid on the potty? do you talk about it at all in advance? the book made it sound like you just wake up one morning and introduce the topic without ever mentioning it before. also- the second block where they go commando – do most people actually do that? i know in the book she mentions how people often have a problem with it from a hygiene perspective…i have no issue from that perspective, but it just sounds so incredibly uncomfortable to me, that if i was a two year old, i’d ask for my diaper back. and then any travel potty recs? do i need potties for the house and then a separate one for when we are out and about? we have twins and i would love to minimize the stuff if possible
Boston Legal Eagle says
For our first, we had him try sitting on the potty at night before bath for a few months before we did the full on potty training. We waited until a long weekend and then did the Oh Crap method with, yes, no pants on for the first day, then just pants with no underwear for a few days after. YMMV, our then 2.5 year old didn’t ask for his diaper back. We bought a couple of those seat covers to use when we were out and about (they fold up, so easy to carry, and just go on regular toilet seats). Small potty at home, and eventually just using the real toilet with a seat cover and step stool.
Anon says
My kid definitely freaked out about the no pants. She did not like being naked. Was one of many factors contributing to our epically terrible failed first attempt with tears for everyone. On the second attempt (5 months later), I bought pretty undies for her and she was very motivated not to get those wet and was much happier in clothes, so we went for it that way. There was no missing the puddle at her feet and running down her legs in an accident – I think the “spirit” of the rule is that you want them to feel wet when there is an accident.
We had introduced the potty (abby and elmo go potty app, elmo goes potty book, had her try before bath, etc.) before both attempts. And in between we offered but didn’t for for the 5 months. Kiddo never took to a little potty, but we’ve been happy with the fisher price one that sits on top of the big potty.
AwayEmily says
We vaguely talked about it prior. “Soon you won’t be using diapers any more and you’ll get to use the potty!” but we never put them on it or talked about it with any more specifics. Then on the day it was “YAY!!! Today is the day you get to use the potty!”
Neither of my kids ever complained about the no-underwear thing. Actually, with my second, we were in the middle of the pandemic and just never bothered getting underwear (it was summer, it was hot, we figured we didn’t need the extra layer anyway). He went commando for well over two months.
We only had one potty for my first and it was kind of a pain; we were always carting it upstairs and then downstairs and then in the car. They have a $10 Fisher-Price penguin potty at Target and I think it’s worth getting a couple of those. Especially in COVID times when we can’t use public bathrooms it’s nice to have one that lives in the car. We just went on a road trip this weekend and both the 2yo and the 4yo used the penguin potty.
Anonymous says
Cosign all of this. Our first was fine with no pants, our second one didn’t seem to like it as much but didn’t really fight us on it. Also, having multiple potties makes it SO much easier- there are cheap light $10 Ikea potties that we used. I’ve heard the pottete is a nice travel potty, but we’ve actually just been sticking the Ikea potty under the stroller or strapped to a backpack when we are out and about.
Anne says
We followed the book – so no sitting on the potty before and yes commando. Worked really well for our first child but she’s very trainable.
anonn says
we had the potty around and then daycare was putting the kids on it after nap, we just didn’t talk about it or force the issue until the Saturday morning that we started. by Monday she was ready to go comando, and we got poopy pants sent home about every day that week, which was very nasty. At daycare they put her in a diaper for naps and when they went outside, that didn’t seem to derail anything. After the first week of poopy pants, she was good and I think we put her in underwear the following Wednesday or so. We put her in a diaper for naps/nighttime for maybe another 3 months until we took the side off her crib. But she never asked for a diaper. at the time her daycare room was basically potty training camp with only 2.5 year olds, and 8 little pottys all lined up, so that helped a ton.
anon says
We talked about it ahead of time but didn’t bring out the little potties until we actually started. We also never did the commando bit because our kids were in daycare at that point and thus required to wear underwear (I know this varies by location).
For twins, I highly recommend having two little potties. I think we also had a third that lived upstairs, but for the most part we just used the two in the living room during our intense training days. For us having them both able to sit and try at the same time/in the same room was key (and our bathrooms aren’t big enough to have one kid on the toilet and one on a small potty). For going out and about, we got one of those fold-up seat reducers. I have friends whose kids just used normal toilets for day 1, but mine insisted on the seat reducer for the first year and a half. We also sometimes stuck one of the little potties in the bottom of the stroller or the car when we were going to a playground without a bathroom in the early days.
Anon says
thanks all. twins will be 2.5 next month. debating doing it over thanksgiving or christmas time (we don’t celebrate it), am i screwed if i wait until 31.5 months?
Anonymous says
I trained by oldest and the twins at around 33 months. Day and night trained in about a week. You’re fine if you wait a bit. If you’re less stressed the whole thing will go more smoothly.
Anonymous says
We’re planning to potty train my daughter over Christmas/New Year’s when she’ll be 33/34 months (we also don’t celebrate). We tried a bit this summer when daycare was shut, but she was really resistant and said she wanted to stay in diapers and she is a strong-willed kid so I don’t see this being successful if she’s fighting it. Daycare starts charging us $50 a week if she’s still in diapers on her third birthday, so I want to get it done before then, but otherwise I’m not in a rush and would rather wait and not have to fight her on it. We’re also taking a long road trip in early December, and I really do not want to be dealing with a new potty user on that trip. I want her in diapers so we don’t have to stop every hour.
Anon says
Our first attempt that was a disaster was at 31 months; our successful attempt was at 35 months.
AwayEmily says
I think it totally depends on the kid. We trained both at ~27 months and it was fine. with my first, I think she would have been fine at any time — she loves obeying rules and is just generally a people-pleaser. With my second, I am glad we did it early because right around 32 months he entered a serious phase of wanting to do (1) the opposite of whatever we wanted him to do and (2) everything himself. Neither of these would be conducive to potty training. And he was already showing signs of being like that even when he was younger…I think if your twins are generally chill, obedient kids then it’s fine to wait but if they are on the stubborn/oppositional side it miiiiight be better to do it early. But yeah, in general just listen to your instinct. I know lots and lots of people who trained very successfully at around 3. The oh crap book is ridiculous about saying you HAVE to do it in this certain window.
Anon. says
We trained at 32 months using the book and it went well. And he was night/nap trained within a week. I was anxious after reading the book as she’s kind of hardcore about starting earlier, but it went just fine.
And yes to multiple potties, you want at least one on each floor of your house.
Dude went commando for like a month and was annoyed when I made him start wearing underwear.
Anon says
We just did this method with my then 2.5-year old over the summer. We talked about it with her in vague terms in the week or so leading up to Potty Training Day (“Soon, Kid’s Name will put her diapers away and start using the potty!”). Then, the day before, we talked more specifically about how today was our last day using diapers and that tomorrow we’d start learning to use the potty a few times. On the actual day, we got her up, took off her diaper, introduced the “big girl potty” she’s start learning to use, and that was it. We didn’t show her the potty or anything in advance before we were ready to start training to avoid any confusion. We did follow their recommended progression of no pants > commando in dresses or pants > underwear. We did 2-3 days of no bottoms and then about a week and a half of commando before we tried undies, and it took about another week after that before we could consistently wear underwear without accidents. Commando never seemed to bother my kid at all. We use the Baby Bjorn potty in the house and we use the Oxo travel potty with replaceable bags when we’re out and about.
Anonymous says
I am new to social media, having just signed up for Facebook this spring to stay connected during lockdown. I keep getting friend requests from people I don’t know, mostly friends of friends, people at church I’ve never actually met, or relatives of relatives. I find this weird and just ignore the requests. Is this considered bad form and will it come back to haunt me somehow? And why are people I don’t know trying to connect with me?
Anonymous says
Just ignore them. If someone asks you about it IRL, just say you don’t use it much and hadn’t noticed the request. Lots of women involved with MLM will add basically anyone they’ve ever met in the hopes of expanding their customer base.
Anon says
You’re fine, don’t overthink. Use FB the way you want, and if that doesn’t include being friends with people you hardly know or don’t know, feel free to ignore. Some people seem to like to accumulate friends like they’re collecting baseball cards – it’s weird to me but not uncommon.
Anonymous says
I have this happen a lot on instagram. Instead of declining, just leave the request hanging out. If you decline, some people notice and might get offended, and they can request again. But if you just leave it hanging, they can’t request again, and if they ask in real life, you can kind of vaguely say you don’t use it a lot.
Anonymous says
With my cybersecurity professional hat on, you’re doing the right thing to ignore them. Social media is rife with scammers of various stripes, and one of the constant refrains in our security awareness training is never to friend anyone you do not already know IRL.
Anon says
I think some people do it to have more people to sell to for their MLM business. If it’s a stranger likely for shady reasons like data farming, spam, espionage etc.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thanks to whoever posted about being “boo-ed” last week – we got “boo-ed” over the weekend! I too am so not that mom and have no idea about these new traditions – where do people read about this? I feel like there is some secret parent handbook I’m not aware of (maybe purposefully not aware of…). Similar to elf on a shelf. Perhaps it’s all on fb groups now? Which I’m trying to avoid over the next few weeks, and in general.
avocado says
I blame Target for this one. They sell “boo bags” and cards and are even giving out free samples of boo bags with drive-up orders. I think it’s a way to sell more candy and plastic junk.
Anonymous says
I hadn’t heard of it but I was looking at this safe trick or treating website (https://www.halloween2020.org/) over the weekend and the concept was suggested. So I’m not sure where it originated, but candy and costume-makers are encouraging it. This seems much more manageable than elf on a shelf – no one will know if you don’t boo someone else.
Anon says
We heard about it from friends a couple of years ago in their neighborhood. Then with their list of COVID-friendly Halloween activities, our HOA included a description and instructions, since this is the first year our neighborhood has done it.
So Anon says
We got Boo-ed last night. And I’m not one of those moms either, like I didn’t know this was a thing? But, it was honestly great. It came mid me pouring expired milk on mashed potatoes, and my son melting down because he had just gotten back from the weekend with his dad. It turned everyone’s night around. My kids are going for a walk this afternoon with the babysitter to see who hasn’t been Boo-ed yet in our neighborhood.
anon says
Ha I don’t think boo-ing is new, we got boo-ed when I was growing up in Western NY. Makes me wonder how the parents (moms, obviously) knew about it back then…
Anonymous says
Never heard of boo-ing, but in the Midwest in the 1980s we celebrated May Day (May 1) by anonymously leaving baskets of treats on people’s doorsteps, which sounds like it’s basically the same thing.
Eek says
Yes! May Day baskets were the best!
anon says
Same, I remember this being a thing in my town in the 90s. I suspect it’s making a resurgence this year because people are trying to find safe Halloween activities and just celebrating everything they can. I know my current town has way more decorated houses this year than before.
Piklers says
Recommendations for particular places to buy pikler triangles? Thanks!
anonamama says
Recently ordered triangle and slide from Montessori Climber dot com. Free (and fast!) shipping. It’s sitting in garage in box, but will update after we assemble this week!
AnonATL says
There was a link on here a few weeks (or maybe months??? Covid time) for a shop on Etsy I believe.
It was one of the featured topics in the headline.
Anon says
We got ours from River and Lily. They sell online and Etsy. I think Etsy was cheaper for some reason.
Anonymous says
Do you send anything into daycare/preschool for Halloween? I’m not normally that mom, but this is such a blah year I kind of want to.
Anonymous says
Please don’t. I don’t want any more candy or plastic junk in my house.
Anonymous says
I was thinking playdoh or stickers? We’re prohibited from sending food and I don’t want plastic junk either.
anon says
You do you, but I wouldn’t bother. I don’t think the 5 seconds of enjoyment of getting a small present from a classmate is worth the hassle (for you or the other parents).
Anonymous says
Nope. And I wouldn’t unless told by the school I should. Silly make work nonsense
Anonymous says
Please don’t be that mom. It just contributes the amount of ‘stuff’ the other ‘not that moms’ have to deal with. Even playdoh and stickers usually get tossed around hear. We have more than enough of both from grandma and cousins.
Anon says
Our daycare and preschool had a large portion of lower income families, and it had a tradition where if parents sent anything, it was books. For holidays, birthdays, etc. As the kids got older, sometimes families would add in a little notepad (Oriental Trading sells tiny ones) with a pencil or stickers or stampers. So instead of sending in a bag full of junk, they’d send home a book with each kid and a bookmark that said “Thanks for celebrating my second birthday with me. -Jackson.”
I’m sure you could find a cool Halloween themed book for about the same price as a bag full of dollar store stuff.
Anonymous says
Nope
Blueberries says
Best gift to the other parents would be to not make this a thing. In my experience, preschoolers are happy not celebrating with little gifts at school, but once they know it’s an option, they’ll want to bring stuff too. It’s much better for everyone not to have this become a thing.
I live in an area where children aren’t wanting for toys, though.
Anon says
I love Halloween and wouldn’t mind at all. But my kids’ child care said no trick or treating this year. So we’re not bringing anything.
Return to work says
Has anyone gone back to work in-person from maternity leave recently? It’s hard enough in normal times but with a spike in cases in our area and not being allowed to even go inside daycare, everything feels impossible. WFH not an option even though my job can 100% be done from home.
Thanks for listening to me whine. All advice welcome.
Anonymous says
Aw hugs, I know it’s hard but it will be ok. I think the changes to daycare are actually easier with an infant. They don’t remember you dropping them in the classroom so the door handoff will seem entirely normal to them in a way it wouldn’t to an older kid (although fwiw my toddler adapted quickly to the drop-off new procedures, even though she still remembers and talks about the old ones).
AnonATL says
Started back last week part time. Will be back fulltime in the next couple of weeks. My son is 3 months and an ok baby. Not easy. Not hard/fussy.
We are planning to put him into daycare half time after the high risk grandparents come visit in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, DH and I are juggling him. It’s stressful. I don’t feel like I’m doing great on the mom front or the work front during the day. We are both fulltime WFH forever though.
We do lots of babywearing for naps, and he has a bouncer he likes to chill in during wake time. It helps that we have gotten him on a pretty good schedule so we know what he needs when.
It’s hard though. I don’t love the idea of putting him in daycare, but we can’t afford a quality nanny and watching him isn’t sustainable. Half time in-home daycare was our compromise. We get a few very focused hours but with less risk of exposure.
AnonATL says
Oh to add, I know many of you will say only having part time care is not sustainable and that may very well be true. We are trying it, particularly with cases ramping back up through the winter and will reassess our risk/benefit when needed.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s crazy, although it will likely get harder as your baby gets older and more mobile. My husband worked from home without childcare until our daughter was 11 months. It was going really well until she started crawling around 9 months and then it got a lot more challenging. We had always planned to end this arrangement and get full time childcare around her first birthday, but there’s no way we could have kept this arrangement going past that point even if we’d wanted to. It worked really well for 3-9 months though!
Anonymous says
If he’s going half time he’s already getting the same risk from that group as he would be full time.
Anonymous says
That’s not how it works. Duration of exposure matters. Time, Space, Place are the key risk factors. How much time, how much spacing/masking, and the place – indoors vs. outdoors etc.
Anonymous says
That was my first thought, but I think there’s a meaningful difference if he’s staying home for full days, eg., only going MWF. A teacher might be pre-symptomatic and contagious on Tuesday but not symptomatic until Wednesday and in that case, only the kids who attended on Tuesday would be exposed assuming the teacher stays home as soon as her symptoms begin. If he’s going every day for half days though, I agree the risk is the same – four hours vs eight hours does not seem meaningful to me because they are both objectively “long” interactions.
anonyK says
No advice, but I’m sorry. It is hard enough in normal times and I can’t imagine how overwhelming it is right now. I sobbed the first day of daycare (1st) and nanny (2nd) with both of mine, but it gradually got easier and I was ok by the end of the first week. But not being able to go inside the daycare is awful. If you have any reasonable alternatives to this, I think you should pursue them without guilt- circumstances change, plans change! If not, just know the first few days will be the hardest. I would start with half days for the first 2-3 days if that is a possibility for your job.
Halloween Mom says
Cases are surging in my area, so there’s my answer for trick-or-treating. We’re not doing it. It’s not worth the risk at this point, and I have zero faith that my neighborhood will actually follow any sort of social distancing rules. Sigh. I think we’ll do a backyard candy hunt and maybe save our pumpkin carving for Halloween night. 10yo has asked to have a backyard party with our “quaranteam.” A few weeks ago, that sounded OK, but now I’m questioning that, too. Our bubble isn’t as small as it was this summer, when nobody was going anywhere. Blerg. Somebody please remind me that this is ONE YEAR of canceled celebrations? I mean, I sure hope we’re celebrating Halloween in 2021 … .
Anon says
I dont know if this helps, but I’ve promised my kids that I’ll just buy them Halloween candy. Instead of trick or treating, we plan to take a Halloween walk (with masks) to see all the costumes and decorations. I figure it wont be hard to stay distanced if we dont actually pick up candy. We can wave to friends and say hello from a distance.
Anonymous says
In my neighborhood, it would be impossible to maintain distance on Halloween even without going to the door for candy. There are just too many kids running around screaming. It’s also likely that you will run into people you know who will want to get up close to socialize, and then their kids will convince your kids to beg to join up for trick-or-treating. It’s just too risky.
anon says
Not the above anon, but we are heading out for our costumed halloween walk on either the evening of the 30th or the afternoon of the 31st to avoid all trick or treaters.
anon says
OP here, and yeah, this is exactly the scenario I want to avoid.
Anonymous says
Can you trick or treat at the quaranteam houses? Maybe even each team family gets a night to do it so kids get to wear their costumes twice.
Honestly, backyard candy hunt sounds just as much fun as regular trick or treating to me.
anon says
My kids are younger, but we’re doing early trick or treating (ie not on Halloween night) with a group of friends. I think we’ll have 8 houses in total, everyone leaves individual bags of candy on their porch and goes out at the same time. If you see people you wave and admire costumes from afar, but no one will get too close. It will hopefully be a mixture of something normalish to mark the tradition but also perfectly safe.
anon says
I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive — it’s possible — but I keep getting my feelings hurt when I talk to my mom about my kids. She’ll ask how they’re doing, I’ll give her a quick update, and instead of asking follow-up questions about THEM, she starts in on some anecdote about one of my nieces or nephews. There are a bunch of grandkids in my family, so maybe it’s inevitable, but it rubs me the wrong way. My kids are in elementary school, and many of the grandkids are still in that cute baby/toddler/preschool phase. It’s always some story about how cute they are, or what a nice little personality so-and-so has … would it kill her to say something nice about *my* kids’ personalities?
IDK, it brings back a lot of feelings about not being good enough. I’m the oldest in my family and was criticized a LOT growing up for being too opinionated and bossy, or not having the “right” interests (i.e., wanted to read all the time; had zero interest in playing with dolls and babies). I was never that sweet, precious kid, and I guess my kids aren’t, either? Or at least that’s how it feels. Maybe my mom is just a bad conversationalist and does this to my siblings, too, but I’ve noticed at least one of my sisters does the same thing. Does my family just dislike my kids? Me? Or are the big-kid topics just less interesting than the little-kid stuff? This sounds like such a petty, jealous rant, and maybe it is, but I need to find a way to move past these feelings of being hurt, both as a daughter and as a parent.
Anonymous says
As an adult I’ve realized that my mom just isn’t that good about being fair between kids. I thought it was my imagination as a kid but I don’t think it was now. I have to constantly push back on her spoiling my oldest and ignoring the twins.
Parents are imperfect people. Her inability to make polite small talk about your kids doesn’t say anything about how interesting or worthy you or your kids are. Same way my mom showing up yesterday with birthday decorations for my oldest doesn’t mean she thinks I underdecorate. It means she has a shopping problem and overbuys everything all the time.
Eh says
I think you shouldn’t take this personally. Given your kids are the oldest, your siblings likely got years of only getting updates on your kids right? And probably a lot less focus on them. Do they spend more time with the younger kids? That’s the other thing that could affect this. But in general, you got all the “firsts” I would guess, so this may just even it out!
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but we have oldest grandkids on one side and youngest on the other – definitely feel like we’ve hogged our share of christmas presents and attention on the side where they’re the oldest. Also when we’re all in person together my older kids who can talk and tell stories tend to get more quality time than the younger ones in actual interactions. It’s the opposite with the other side of the family.
Anonymous says
Is it possible that she does the same to your siblings? She gets their updates and then gives them a lengthy update on your kids?
anonyK says
That was my first thought. But also some people are just more in love with the little kid stage- those kids are just newer, to be frank. This is also a weird year where a lot of fun big kid stuff isn’t happening (sports, recitals, normal school stuff).
Whatever it is, it is not in your control and it’s not you or your kids fault. Try very hard not to communicate this feeling of inadequacy to your kids.
Anon says
family dynamics are just so so so complicated. it’s amazing how a conversation with a parent/sibling can take us back to our childhoods and make us feel badly about ourselves. i am currently practically in tears bc of a text exchange i just had with my sibling, who i have a rocky relationship with. this is part of why i maybe only wanted one kid, but instead ended up with twins. we have first/only grandkids on both sides and i secretly like it bc honestly growing up, both DH and I were always the ‘easy’ kid in our respective families and it’s nice to get some attention for a change. i’m sure it will be hard for me on some level when my kids aren’t the cute babies/toddlers anymore and that it might start to feel competitive like which grandkid is the best at soccer, school, etc. no real suggestions other than commiseration
Anonymous says
My mother in law does the exact same thing. I was really shocked the first time I met her when I started dating my now husband- she asked me exactly zero questions about myself and just kind of chatted about family business. Huge contrast with my mom who asks a ton of personal questions when meeting someone. I have eventually chalked it up to a few things, maybe some of these might resonate with you. 1- she never really worked for a living, so never had to do that kind of small talk coworker niceties that I am more used to, where it’s pretty basic conversation skills to show interest in the other person. 2- not being familiar with those conversational cues to ask questions, so she just launches into some story about another family member to fill silence. 3- I think she sees herself as a conduit between the family and wants to make sure we are all up to date on each other. My husband and I are pretty used to it now, but we definitely still roll our eyes at each other when she sends us facebook posts (neither of us are on facebook) about something a niece did that she thinks is cute that frankly my husband and I just couldn’t care less about.
anon says
You may be onto something, especially #1 and #3. This would help me reframe what’s happening.
But TBH, I do think she’s just way less into the big-kid stage than the itty-bitty kid phase.
Anon Lawyer says
I feel like my mom is a bit like this with the grandkids – she gets frustrated when they get old enough to be sassy.
Anonymous says
My mantra for dealing with other people has always been “People really only care about themselves. Take what they are willing to give and don’t expect more.” If you spend your life expecting your mother to gush over your children’s brilliance, you will spend your life disappointed.
Anonymous says
This is why I never talk to my sister anymore. She just wants to brag about her kids and compare them to mine, then criticize my parenting.
Anonymous says
As the grandchild of a woman who disfavored my father and by extension me, I don’t think this is all in your head and I don’t think it’s necessarily true that your siblings get endless stories about your kids. A lot of people favor or disfavor one set of kids/grandkids. It really stinks and your kids will pick up on it if they haven’t already.
Anon says
i wanted to buy (or try to buy a nugget) – they just released their new order system. it’s like worse than trying to buy concert tickets back in the day
Anon Lawyer says
I know everyone raves about them but they just seem so expensive for some foam blocks, and I hate the idea of having to log on at the precise right moment in order to pay $200 for some foam blocks.
I did panic buy a Pikler Triangle though, so I don’t have clean hands here.