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This maternity dress looks incredibly comfortable and easy to wear. I like the short sleeves and the longer length, and the pleating at the waistline looks flattering. My favorite part is that the dress is 95% cotton and 5% spandex for a comfy and stretchy fit. It comes in a multitude of colors, but for some reason some of the colors are a completely different style — a wrap dress with a tie waist, or a similar dress but with three-quarter sleeves — so pay attention to the one you select. I like them all, but my personal favorite is the short sleeves with the stripes. The dress is between $22.99 and $30.99 at Amazon, depending on color/style. Casual Striped Maternity Dress Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pogo says
I cannot justify buying any cute maternity clothes these days. Who would see me? Leggings and tank tops ftw.
I bought one really nice black tailored dress that I was planning to wear with a blazer to make a ‘suit’ for any big meetings or interviews. I definitely will not have occasion to wear it all now, which is just so bizarre (ordered it right before the pandemic started). Maybe I will put it on and wear it around the house with my pearls (also haven’t worn in months) and heels (ditto). lol.
Leatty says
Same. I purchased some maternity clothes for work right before the pandemic, and some of them still have the tags on them. I never thought we’d be working from home indefinitely, so I didn’t return them. Fortunately, they were on super sale, so I don’t feel too bad about it. I’ve worn a couple of the dresses for video presentations, but otherwise it seems like a waste of energy to put on anything other than comfortable clothes.
Nelly Yuki says
Same, and on top of that at this point (due in August), anything new that can’t also work for nursing seems silly.
AnonATL says
Same. I have a casual dress code, so I didn’t buy any suits or anything, but I I did buy some cute blouses and dresses that just seem so silly and wasteful now. I literally wear the same tanks/tshirts every day. I was wearing cute maternity jeans for a bit, but now it’s too hard to get pants on and off. Stretchy shorts until the kid arrives in the next couple of weeks!
We will likely have #2 within the next two years so I’m hoping I will have a chance to wear them then.
Anonymous says
Yep. Third trimester here and living in running shorts and cheap maternity Workout tanks. I bought a couple cute dresses and have worn them maybe once each.
Anonymous says
Can anyone recommend their comfy shorts? It’s hard to find maternity shorts! Currently am wearing Nike dri-fit shorts in a larger size but these seem to be getting a bit snug.
AnonATL says
I just bought a 2 pack of shorts at Costco that are cheap and great for lounging around. If you search on their site it’s called the 32 Degrees Ladies’ 2-pack Short. I also like the Old Navy breathe on shorts, but they go out of stock a lot. I plan to wear both post-baby as well, which is why I picked some with drawstrings.
I’m an 8 pre-pregnancy and am about 36 weeks now. I got a medium in both brands.
DLC says
Not specifically maternity, but Uniqlo has some comfy shorts that have wide elasticity waistbands with drawstrings that I managed to wear up til I gave birth last year. Bonus is that I am wearing them still this summer at ten months post partum.
Anon says
The best around the house option for me were cheap shorts from Amazon with a fold over waistband.
Anon says
I’m pregnant with my first, and loving the fact that I don’t have to buy much in the way of maternity clothes. I’m full-time remote but travelled 1-2x per month prior to Covid – fortunately hadn’t bought any maternity clothes yet when shutdown started! So I basically have a week’s worth of maxi-length maternity dresses and then I throw on a blazer or sweater blazer for Zoom calls :)
Cb says
Product rec – I bought the Uniqlo sun protection jacket for my son and it’s really nice. Folds up into a little pocket, shower proof but feels breathable.
octagon says
We have a long (10 hours) car trip coming up and I need to stock my metaphorical bag of tricks to keep kiddo (4.5) sane. Here’s the rub: he gets carsick. Dramamine helps mostly, but it means that reading — or anything where he is looking at his lap — is completely out. No ipad games or coloring etc. We will stock a tablet with shows but would rather not have 10 solid hours of screen time. Help?!
avocado says
Audiobooks! During a multiday road trip we took at around that age, my daughter really loved the audiobooks of A Wrinkle in Time and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Anne Hathaway version).
anne-on says
+a million to audio books. We’re in the same situation and it is SO hard. I do find a few things that help – bonine is much better than dramamine (less sleepiness), you can buy airsickness bags on amazon, we have a few stashed in every car just in case. We also have small bottles of coke and saltines we take on trips – the sugar/caffeine/salt helps with queasy tummies. Sitting in the middle seat (if possible) is better – looking out through the windshield is better than side windows. Fresh air as much as possible (or a fan!) also help.
For specific audio books we like the magic tree house series, the roald dahl books, and octonauts.
Anonymous says
My 4.5 year old loves the audiobook version of Frozen. “Mom! This book is about Anna and Elsa!” We can sometimes get it from the library via overdrive/Libby, but I think next long trip I’ll just buy the CDs or Audible so we don’t have to worry about wait lists.
Lana Del Raygun says
I don’t have kids that age but when I’ve been on roadtrips with my niblings, they have really enjoyed singing/being sung to, especially songs that you can include their and their families’/friends’ names in (“room for mama and daddy” in Train Is A Coming, “Joey’s at the engine, Alex rings the bell” in Morningtown Ride, “He’s got Susie and Marcus / In his hands / He’s got the whole world in his hands,” etc) and folk songs with nonsense refrains and/or sound effects (Sparky The Giant Squid is a huge hit around these parts). They will probably latch onto a favorite and demand to hear it over and over. Bring lots of water.
Clementine says
Is it an option to start at like 4AM, hope they sleep for the first 3 hours and stop every 2 hours and just let kiddo run?
Also, vinyl window clings on the car windows? Telling the kid funny stories about when mommy and daddy were kids? Also love audiobooks.
Anonanonanon says
Stuff that worked for my carsick child at that age:
-Leaving early while it’s still dark and giving him glowsticks to play with
-Games that involve looking out the window (there are a lot of templates out there for road sign scavenger hunts or car color scavenger hunts, and drawing a quick X over a square didn’t seem to make him carsick)
-Audiobooks, as suggested above
-A new “gift” every 100 miles (a plastic dino, a toy car, nothing too expensive/huge)
-Just powering through. By the time my kid was 4.5 I realized forcing long stops every 1.5 hours did more harm than good because it stretched the trip out.
-Saving screen time until the last 2 hours has always been the most effective for me. By that point, I need the break more than anything.
-If there are two adults, my son thought madlibs were the funniest thing ever at that age. He may need some help remembering nouns vs. verbs, but if there is someone else in the car who can write down the answers and read out the completed mad lib he might get a kick out of that
Pogo says
+1 to saving screen time to the end. I break it out when it’s really needed.
Does kiddo like trucks/construction? My LO is younger (3) but is really into that stuff right now so we keep up a stream of consciousness commentary on any vehicles or construction we pass and make up stories. “Do you see that truck with all the ladders? Where do you think he’s going?” Bonus points to reference anything you see to books or shows that kiddo is into (“Look it’s a helicopter, just like Harold!” or whatever). He doesn’t get carsick but I do find if I keep him talking, it significantly cuts down on the whining and “are we there yet”s.
Well-timed snacks are also critical. Like screen time, I try to space it out and start with the healthiest/least preferred stuff first so I can break out fruit snacks or trail mix (two of his faves, always sure to quell a meltdown) near the end when things get rough.
Anonymous says
+ a million to saving the screen time until you’re out of other options. Taking this a step further, I just tell my kids there are no tablets. Otherwise (at least with my kids) I get several hours of “can we have the tablets yet?” We’ve made it through trips up to about 6 hours without them! I do bring them on planes, but in the car where I don’t need to worry about my kids annoying anyone but me, I prefer to subject my kids to extended boredom like my own childhood car trips. :) For 10 hours, I’d definitely have the tablets available somewhere out of sight.
Anonymous says
Podcasts. Brains On! is my kids’ current favorite, and DH and I don’t mind listening to it for hours either. 4.5 is the lower end of age range it works for, but if you let the kid pick the topic to get started, it will probably work.
Soundtracks or custom playlist of favorites
Car bingo
“I Spy” or “I’m thinking of something…” (we do yes/no questions only)
I’m going on a picnic, and i’m bringing … (memory/alphabet game)
The Quiet Game (my personal favorite)
Good luck!
Anonymous says
Oh, and make sure to bring a kid blanket. It really helps my kids fall asleep, esp with the car AC on. We can usually get at least 2 hours of naptime in on a long car trip.
SC says
Podcasts work really well for us. Kiddo loves Circle Round. We’ve tried audio books, but they don’t hold his attention enough, and he kinda loses the plot and has too many questions. (When I read aloud, it’s easier for him to stop me and ask questions.)
Dance parties. We don’t listen to kids’ music in the car, but we listen to a lot of funk, disco, soul, hip hop, and some pop that Kiddo likes. Last year on a road trip, we stumbled across the top 20 of a 90s top-500 countdown, which was amazing and hilarious.
Car games. Alphabet games. 20 Questions (Kiddo gets unlimited questions). Take turns making up stories.
For the second road trip, I packed a bag of toys and swapped them out every 2 hours. The biggest hits were things that kept his hands busy. Squigz, pipe cleaners, stress balls, wikki sticks, fidget toys, etc. (Kiddo is in OT for fine motor, so we have a lot of that stuff already.)
Anon says
As a life long sufferer myself with a toddler who is possibly worse than me, make sure you have some gallon ziplocs, change of clothes and a couple extra towels within easy reach (flashback to digging through the back of the SUV for a toddler change of clothes in a blizzard on a ski trip last winter). Kiddo (at 2.5!) can successfully make it into the bag, which makes clean-up a lot better. You probably already know this, but Dramamine wears off in my kid after 6 hours, so make sure you have that in your purse too so you can re-dose midway through. Light meals help, and not too many liquids (all the liquid sloshing around exacerbates things for me and kiddo).
For us, driving at night or through naptime helps (although kiddo has been known to wake up to vomit and then go back to sleep, lovely). For activities, I recall sing-a-long tapes from my childhood (and sitting in the middle of the back seat so I could look straight out the front window). Audiobooks would probably also be good. Frankly I did a lot of sleeping in the car, because even watching a movie was too much for me (kiddo seems to do OK with it though). Young House Love recently shared a magnetic license plate game that might be fun (if you keep it so he doesn’t have to look down). We also played a lot of “I spy”, but, again, looking out the front window and not the sides.
Anonymous says
You’ve probably figured this out already, but my son will do better if the tablet/screen is at eye level, e.g. mounted on the back of the headrest. We also like podcasts and audiobooks. Honestly though, it is one day – if 10 hours of screen time works, it’s fine.
Anon says
Does anything in his lap make him sick? We get a lot of mileage out of having my preschoolers thread beads on string or pipe cleaners, do reusable sticker books, or play with duplos.
I know I can’t read or look at any kind of screen in the car, but I can do things that involve looking down that aren’t the same kind of eyestrain/focus.
Anonymous says
I found my child really likes looking around on long car trips.I know there is car bingo and similar games. Maybe you can find ways similar to that to interact with him without him looking at the toy? Look for a red car, truck, cow, etc? I recently purchased a Scavenger Hunt game from Target. It has a set of cards for in the house, another for outside and one for car rides.
DLC says
Teach your kid to pump their arm to get truckers to honk. My 3 year old loves this- unfortunately he is in the middle seat so very rarely gets a result. But he tries so hard.
AwayEmily says
We did a 12.5 hour car ride last week and I am typing this from the return trip (one hour in, wish us luck!). Echoing audiobooks, esp stories he is already familiar with (makes it easier to follow along). We also did our trip from 1pm – 1am so they slept the last 4 hours. Made it much easier.
BethC says
Just curious, does anyone have elementary schools that are going back in person this school year? Our county is doing a hybrid approach of 1 week in school, 2 weeks remote which just seems totally untenable for working parents. Feeling very frustrated this morning.
Cb says
My son is younger but the primary and secondary schools are planning a full-time return to school if progress continues. It was a result of immense political pressure that was honestly pretty crap. Honestly, I don’t know if it will work, but I trust the government will walk back plans if they aren’t feasible.
Pogo says
Ours has not released the official plan yet as far as I know. They have to submit 3 plans to the state – remote, hybrid and in-person – but I am not sure when the call gets made. I assume the dept of edu is waiting until the last possible minute in hopes that positive trends mean they can for sure commit to in-person, rather than calling it early and having to walk back.
Agree that anything less than in-person is untenable for working parents and pretty much requires that you hire a nanny or babysitter to shepherd the kids through their schoolwork on the remote days.
Anonymous says
MA, right? We are fingers crossed for fully in person but who knows.
SC says
Our public schools are supposed to start August 6th, and they have said it is “their intention” to go back with in person school, but they are also planning for hybrid and remote school. That is literally the full extent of the information the local school district has provided so far.
We are sending out kid to a private, Catholic school for kids with exceptionalities/special education needs. The archdiocese has a 70-page guide, but is giving principals autonomy. This school’s principal seems committed to keeping in-person instruction as long as it’s safe. Also, because of the specific kids in the school, it’s already set up with small classrooms, very few transitions during the day, and no large assemblies for the younger kids.
Anonymous says
Right there with you on the frustration. We’re not getting plans from the public school district until July 14, supposedly. Local news reported that the parent survey results show around ~50% of parents want to be back in person full time, but I don’t know whether the district can actually do it. I have an application in to a Montessori school that is <100 kids total and supposedly has space for my two school-age kids. They are committed to being in-person as long as the state/local government allow it.
Anon says
Parents here can choose one of two options from the county – in person 2 days a week and 2 days “independent study” or four days a week full-time remote. Fridays are for teacher planning. Neither is a good option for working parents. Thankful my kiddo is still in preschool.
Anonanonanon says
This is the plan for our school system (probably the same one). Both stink. I chose full-time remote. This school district can’t even handle snow closures, I don’t trust them to navigate this.
Anon says
We have the same 2/2 schedule, but they made Monday the planning day because of the large number of Monday holidays in our calendar.
Anonymous says
In NYC we don’t go back until after Labor Day (school just ended June 27) but have no idea yet.
Anon says
In MD: we haven’t gotten an official plan yet, but I’m expecting the choice of 2 days on/2 days or or fully virtual. I don’t think fully in-person is going to be on the table–they released the survey results and only 12% of parents and 8% of teachers want to be in-person full time.
FVNC says
Our school district appears not to be considering full-time in person. The survey I participated in asked for a preference between i) fully online and ii) 2-4 days of in person with online on other days. Goodbye savings, hello nanny!
Emily S. says
Our county hasn’t released plans yet, but our parochial school is full time, full day, all kids. They haven’t announced concrete plans yet, but said they have reviewed the state guidelines and can do it and will be publishing details soon.
CPA Lady says
We have three options:
1. Full time, self paced homeschooling using the county’s educational resources, lots of parental involvement, not affiliated with any particular zoned school. This has been a thing that has existed for several years. I didn’t know this existed since my kid is just now going into Kindergarten, but it seems like a great resource for, say, chronically ill or medically fragile kids even not during covid times. Or for parents who want to home-school but don’t want figure out the curriculum themselves.
2. Full time remote instruction using the teacher at your zoned/base school. This is a semester by semester thing– you sign up for the entire semester and can’t come back to in person school during the semester.
3. A “learning continuum” that has a mix of full time in person to full time remote depending on how bad covid is at the time. There are metrics and four levels of risk. At the lowest risk level, all kids who sign up for this option are full time in the classroom, at the highest risk level, its full time remote. At the middle two risk levels, it’s school specific (like if a particular school has an outbreak) and hybrid remote and in person.
They are opening sign ups in a few days for the remote learning options. The surveys that have been done are showing that about 1/3 of parents want to do full time remote. We’ll see how it all pans out.
Patricia Gardiner says
What is a good amount to give a nanny who is leaving? When our son’s daycare shut down in March, we hired one of his teachers to nanny for us. Daycare is not reopening and she has decided to go back to school so will be leaving us (it’s been about 3.5 months).
We really love her and hope to have her sit for us in the future. I ordered a photo travel mug, we will have cake on her last day, and I’d like to give her some cash – never having done this before, what is an appropriate amount?
Thank you!
CCLA says
I’d do a day or two worth of full pay, or maybe a flat $100 or $200.
CCLA says
Oops, I misread and thought daycare was reopening and that you would no longer need her. Assuming she gave you reasonable notice, I’d still give something but more of a token amount like $50.
Anonymous says
Nothing. She quit!!
IHeartBacon says
I agree with this. It would be different if you were letting her go because you no longer needed her, but that’s not the case. She quit. I wouldn’t give her anything, except to give her a genuine thank you and let her know she will get a good reference from you if she ever needs it.
IHeartBacon says
Clarification: I wouldn’t do anything more than what you already have for her, which is a cake on her last day and a travel mug. The travel mug can be gifted with the message that you wish her luck going back to school and the travel mug is for the morning after the late night study sessions.
Patricia Gardiner says
Thanks all for the thoughts! Huh, we hadn’t looked at it as her quitting because when we learned that daycare was not going to reopen, we all said we’d think about what we wanted to do next, and she let us know far in advance that she wanted to go back to school (we also looked into other options). I realize this was not clear from my initial post!
Embarassingly Excited says
My Peloton Bike is coming on Friday! I’m so excited.
FWIW, I’m a pretty active person to begin with and the gym was always my escape. If that wasn’t an option, I would run with kids in the double jogging stroller. Well, I have 3 kids now, so that’s too many for the jogger and just walking wasn’t enough.
The Peloton App transformed my relationship with my basement treadmill! I am so exited that I feel like a kid before Christmas because the bike can fit in my bedroom and is something I can work out on while I wait for the kids to fall asleep. (Do anybody else’s kids not need them to be in the room but will keep walking downstairs if they go downstairs?)
I have wanted this for a few years… I recognize that I’m 100% their target market and finally caved because I don’t know when I’ll feel comfortable going to the gym again.
NOW. Any tips? I’ve gotten to know the instructors who do the running/strength/stretching workouts and have a general feel of the style of the classes.
Meg says
Yes, go mama! Sounds like you know what’s in store and will make good use of the bike. I got the Peloton bike when I realized after kid one how tough it was to work + parent + make it to the barre studio. Now I am extra glad to have it, cause who knows when I’ll ever make it to a workout class again. A few things that worked for us: 1. If you and spouse share the bike, use electric tape to mark the seat settings for one of you so it is easy to switch back and forth. 2. If you don’t already have some (or a bike-trained bottom), grab a few padded cycling underpants to wear under regular leggings. I got Baleaf brand from Amazon, and they help make the first weeks back in the saddle easier. 3. Try the two All for One rides to meet all the instructors. Those classes give you a good sense of personality and music choices. It reaffirmed my love for Emma and Denis, reminded me how great Alex is, and introduced me to the new instructors. (I tend to avoid the inspirational quote crowd, but if that motivates you, you may prefer other instructors.) Enjoy!
anon says
PSA: If your kids need face masks for school, Zulily has a bunch of multipacks for very reasonable prices. (Both of my kids have already lost a $10 etsy mask, and my budget for such things is not finite.) Now, if anybody has brilliant ideas for where to store these things so they’re less likely to be misplaced, I’m all ears. Maybe the solution is to hang a set of hooks on the wall of our mudroom. Not enough room for a cute cubby/storage basket setup, I don’t think.
Clementine says
Face masks go in a bin next to the back door. I also have a designated lingerie bag on a hook next to the back door – as soon as I walk inside, dirty masks go in there.
It is my best solution.
Anonymous says
We have shook by where we drop our keys, and any dirty mask goes straight into the washer. My best trick yet though is to tie a longish string from one ear loop to the other, so that if it needs to be transported with the child for a short duration of wear, like just while passing people on a hiking trail, it’s worn around the neck and not jammed in a random pocket never to be seen again.
Anon says
I have a jewelry tree where you hang necklaces / bracelets off of the different branches. I’m using that for my masks now. That way I also don’t have to wash them every time I wear them. They can sit for a few days while I wear the others.
IHeartBacon says
I bought this basket and hung it by the front door. Clean masks up top, used masks on the bottom. When we walk in the door, we take off our masks and put them in the bottom and then we wash them all over the weekend. We each have 7 masks to get us through the week before having to wash.
https://www.amazon.com/MyGift-Hand-Woven-Seagrass-14-Inch-Hanging/dp/B01LXQVB9E/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?dchild=1&keywords=hanging+basket+flatback&qid=1594091523&sprefix=hanging+basket+flat&sr=8-11
Midwestern says
If your employer could offer you one thing to make the working-parent-schools-not-functioning-normally craziness more manageable what would it be? A part time option with reduced pay with the expectation you could return to full time when this is over? Flex time (work off hours)? Subsidized help for when the kids are home on their non in-person days? Something else magical?
Anon4this says
Any of these would be amazing, but I think the part time option would appeal to me most.
Anonymous says
My employer has been great, relatively speaking. What I have most appreciated: extra paid leave to use specifically for COVID related caregiving, complete flexibility on work hours, top-down instruction to all management to be understanding and flexible (helps that many managers have kids), option to go part time with full time benefits, and zero pressure to go back to the office.
FVNC says
I’d go part time in a heartbeat if I didn’t think it would move me to the top of the layoff list. Subsidized help would also be amazing.
I already sort of work flex hours, in that I work east coast hours from the west coast. Other flex time probably wouldn’t work since my schedule is so call-heavy; I don’t think east coast folks would appreciate meeting at their midnight :)
Pogo says
As an East Coast person who talks to Asia at midnight sometimes, I can confirm your suspicion :)
Anonymous says
I’ve been really happy with what my employer had done. We got an extra bucket of caregiving PTO, and the option to switch down to PT hours (for commensurate pay, but they are considering it a temporary change and are maintaining benefits like insurance premium contributions as though those who switch are still working FT). Most of all, though, my (childless) manager has been incredibly supportive and understanding as everyone’s priorities and capacities have shifted.
anon says
My workplace is offering a part-time option. This is great, but it’s very unclear how it will work in practicality for some positions. I would love to take that option, but as a mid-level manager, me working 75% would leave my team in a bind, create a logjam, or force them to pick up my slack. (Because, you know, the powers-that-be can’t actually change their expectations for what’s reasonable during this batsh!t time.)
So I guess my real wish is for part-time work that is ACTUALLY PART TIME. I supervise someone who has successfully worked part-time for several years, but her workload was adjusted to match. I don’t see that happening for anyone who supervises people.
anon says
What about a job share where two people do one full time job so that your duties are split while you and the other person are part time?
Anon says
Fewer video conferences and conference calls. I can manage getting work done in the early morning / late evening and in-between sharing distance learning shifts with DH, but the expectations of being uninterrupted for a block of time to talk with other people is the hardest to accommodate. Most meetings are unnecessary and can be handled via e-mail.
Pogo says
Subsidized help through their backup care provider. DH’s work has backup care already (so they match you with someone via care dot com’s pool of pre-registered/background checked/etc candidates, which takes a lot of the emotional labor out of it), but the benefits run out after ~10 days I think. We pay a small ‘co-pay’ portion which I think is fair (like $8 a day or something). If this were extended to a longer time (and maybe upping the co-pay portion to make it sustainable) I think this is the best thing an employer can do.
I am already pretty flexible but as others have said with call-heavy schedules there’s only so flexible you can be. My busiest hours are ~7-4, within that time I can’t really flex much. After 4 I can usually make things work, any calls between 4 and 8 are usually just me catching up with someone (internal) on a specific topic and can be taken while chasing a toddler. If I do have a day without calls, my org has zero issue with me disappearing for a few hours to do childcare as long as I get my work done.
Anon says
I also have that back up care benefit but find it useless right now bc i don’t want random people in my house as i don’t know what their version of social distancing is.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think it depends on how your workplace and your particular role functions. If it is more projects-based, and as long as people complete them generally within the times provided, then flexibility about when people work is key. Support from management and higher ups is also key. If your work is more hourly-based, or full of lots of during the workday meetings or expectations of immediate responses, then offering a part-time option with full benefits will be helpful. I agree that some roles are more easily done part-time than others, particularly supervisory roles are difficult to do truly part time (or at least I haven’t figured it out!) However, my role is more projects-based and as long as I meet my deadlines, I have flexibility on getting work done. That means that sometimes I work at night or weekends, but I wouldn’t go part time and get paid less just to end up doing the same amount of work. I know other colleagues at my work who would really benefit from true part time though.
LittleBigLaw says
I don’t mean to be a wet blanket, but I have serious concerns about the long-term effects of PT options as the only/primary accommodation in this situation. I’ve been thinking about this HBR piece (https://hbr.org/2020/03/whats-really-holding-women-back) a lot over the last few months and have been really dismayed that we don’t have better solutions. Not sure what better alternatives would look like, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t daydreaming about going PT (or no time!), but it’s not hard to see how this approach to the crisis is likely to play out for gender parity in the workplace.
BethC says
If we’re dreaming, I would like them to open a private school to educate my children in person all year in exchange for a signed social distancing agreement from families. Ideally it would convert to a camp during non-school times so they would just stay in their little school bubble and keep things safe.
Anonymous says
I asked about a version of this a few weeks ago (late so a lot of people didn’t see it) and it was not week-received. Do people want an employer who doesn’t normally teach K-12 to start up a private school? Would you be willing to pay for it? Would you provide food? What about transportation (assuming you WFH)? I am genuinely curious because we could potentially do this at my employer, but I am not sure people would use it.
BethC says
I would love it. I would also pay and provide food and transportation.
Anon says
Another idea though wouldn’t be my top choice if i only had to choose one thing but paying for some kind of meal delivery service that doesn’t involve me cooking. Or grocery delivery + money to grocery store so i could buy more pre made meals without spending so much more on groceries. A way to outsource laundry? Basically if PT or flexible hours aren’t an option bc of business needs, something else that reduces other household responsibilities. Also- just generally a flexible and understanding attitude. And not sending an email like that University in Florida that basically told people they are no longer allowed to work from home without childcare as of a certain date, (even though the school’s own daycare won’t be open yet)
Jeffiner says
My employer gave us full flex time. Neither DH nor I worked a “normal” day for weeks, and no one had an issue. It was exhausting for us though. We didn’t get any weekends or days off, we were working 7 days a week, waking up at 6 am, logging in again at 9 pm, etc so that we could both get 40 hours a week. I would much rather have a part time option with reduced pay, or an increase in PTO to use.
Pregnant ladies? says
Any other pregnant-in-pandemic ladies out there? How are you holding up? What have your doctors visits been like and, for those father along (like me!), have you been given any information about what L&D is likely to be like?
Anon says
Congratulations!
Currently 26 weeks with our first child. NYC burbs.
My first OB appointment was in March and my husband was allowed to come in with me. Since then, all appointments have been patient-only, so he waits in the car and we facetime during the appointment. None of my appointments were delayed or converted to virtual visits – I’m not sure if that was true for all pregnant patients at my OB practice or if I was somehow prioritized for in-person visits since I am technically high-risk (I say technically since I’m 40 and we did IVF, but no other high-risk factors).
Current L&D guidance for my hospital is: 1) only 1 support person allowed in the room with you, 2) you both get Covid tests upon arrival and every 12 hours, and 3) once support person is in room with you, they can’t leave. So we’ll be packing food & clothes for both of us for like 5 days since my husband won’t be able to run home to shower/run out and pick up a bite to eat.
I’m holding up fine! Granted, I have nothing to compare this to since it’s my first pregnancy. I didn’t want a baby shower so I’m thrilled not to have to fend that off :) my only minor disappointment is that no one in my family will see me pregnant (everyone lives far and obviously no one is traveling right now), and I can’t go to a physical book store and buy ALL THE CHILDREN’S BOOKS.
Anon says
I’m 37 weeks. I had a mix of in person and remote prenatal visits – didn’t love the remote ones, since I had to skip a few blood pressure checks / blood tests that have shown a few minor issues later in the pregnancy than I would have preferred (anemia, blood pressure is a little high, Strep B positive.)
Hospital policy has changed a few times – currently, I am allowed 1 support person and one doula (I don’t have one, but could bring one if I wanted) and my visitor is allowed to come and go from my recovery room. Until last week, I would not have been allowed a doula and my support person would have to stay in the recovery room with me. I’m having a planned C-section, so DH and I were going a bit nuts thinking about all of the things he would need to pack and bring with us if he wasn’t going to be allowed to come back into the room if he left – so this is a welcome development.
Still no visitors allowed – Grandparents have all been warned about this rule – and we’re supposed to maintain social distancing for two weeks after we go home. Grandparents have also been warned they won’t get to meet the baby at a distance of closer than 6 feet for a couple of weeks.
They put their OB/GYNs on a rotation for L&D rather than having practitioner’s on-call, so I don’t get “my” doctor for my planned c-section, but at least I know who she is.
Anonymous says
Currently 22 weeks. My doctors office seems super relaxed in general. They’ve offered telemed visits but never pushed me on them and I chose to keep coming in person with visits a bit spaced out as a nervous FTM wanting reassurance of the heartbeat, etc. It doesn’t seem like they’ve starting having non-OB patients back so the office/waiting room remains empty. I’ve been told no masks required during labor, won’t require separation of baby or allow refusal if you test positive, and continued policy of one support person, but not much else. My biggest concerns now are how to navigate an immediate family members wedding in two months + other family things when I want to keep up distancing throughout the rest of this pregnancy. No clue on how to handle visitors when the baby comes but would love to hear what others plan to do. Overall feel lucky that I have this baby to look forward to in these tough times even though it is scary.
Knope says
I’m 27 weeks with my second. I have not seen my own provider in-person since my 8 week confirmation visit way back before everything shut down, although I have been in for 2 anatomy scans. I really miss having the in-person appointments, but ultimately I’m a low-risk pregnancy and because the provider’s office is in a large physician building adjacent to a hospital, it would be needlessly risky for me to go in person all the time. The biggest bummer so far was that my DH couldn’t come to the 20 week anatomy scan with me; everything worked out fine but I would have been devastated if we had gotten bad news and I was alone.
As of now, they are testing everyone who comes into L&D in labor for COVID. If you test negative, you and your support person can stay there, but the support person is not allowed to leave the hospital (though I think they can leave the room). If you test positive, your support person is sent home, you are taken to an isolation ward, and you are separated from your baby immediately after birth. Needless to say, if this remains the protocol, I will be strictly isolating for a few weeks prior to giving birth.
layered bob says
“You are separated from your baby immediately after birth” – just a note that you can decline this! It may be hospital policy but it is not mandatory (at least in the US), despite what staff may tell you. This is my big fear as I get closer to my due date so I’ve looked at the issue pretty closely and decided that even if I test positive, for me the risks to my baby of also testing positive are lower than the drawbacks of being separated from its mom, and I will refuse the separation.
Leatty says
It’s a struggle. I’m 31 weeks and in a hotspot. I had one telemedicine appointment in May, but the rest of them have been in person. Masks are required at my OB’s office, and until recently, only the patient was allowed in the office.
I’ve been advised that all birth mothers will be tested for COVID when they are admitted. If you test positive, your baby will be taken to the NICU after birth, but I’m not sure how long the baby stays in the NICU. One support person is allowed in L&D with you, but if that person leaves, they can’t come back until you are discharged. I’m sure all of this will change before I give birth, given the current trajectory of cases.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m not pregnant but just responding to some of the comments about their partners not being able to leave – for our two kids, my husband didn’t leave our room other than to get ice a couple of times, and stayed there to shower, for food, etc. It was nice to have him there the whole time with me to get tips on babycare, bfeeding and doctors’ visits. So the new rules, at least for that, might be a positive change! We both packed like we were going to be there for a few days.
Anon says
By the time I got out of the delivery room the hospital kitchen was closed and I hadn’t eaten in a very long time. If my husband hadn’t been able to run out to get us something to eat I would have been in bad shape.
Pogo says
So many people have shared this horror story that I specifically had DH order me dinner prior to the kitchen closing for the night. The nurse temporarily took me off “clear liquids” (I had an epidural) so he could put the order through the system and I got the full meal with a side of fruit and cake and everything. We re-heated my mac n cheese at 4:45 a.m. for me to eat (had gone ~48 hours without food at that point if you consider I began labor by puking up everything I’d eaten that day and then had a 30 hour labor).
Then I slept for like 5 hours and he ordered me the full breakfast so I could eat again when I woke up. It was lovely :)
anon says
I’m almost 29 weeks with my second child and honestly, the WFH option has been a boon for me since I can take quick midday naps to get an extra burst of energy. Besides that, not much different between this pregnancy and my first – my OB appts have been telehealth up until now but my OB is switching back to IRL visits (we are not in a hotspot) and I’ll need NSTs since I have GD. I have also been told only one support person in L&D, so I am sad that my mom won’t be able to be there but we’ll make the best of it. We were also told that the support person cannot leave, but I want to get back to my son ASAP and also avoid being in the hospital, so assuming I have another v**inal delivery, we plan to leave after a day or so.
KatieWolf says
I’m due Wednesday!! But my first was 10 days late so I’m not expecting anything for another week. I’m at a birth center, which allows partners + one support person. The medical personnel and partner will wear a mask, but I don’t have to. I opted not to have a support person, completely unrelated to covid, just didn’t get much out of my doula with my first. In terms of bringing baby home, both grandmothers have had contact with toddler sporadically over COVID and we will call on them as necessary for assistance during the first couple weeks. Aside from grandparent contact, we have not had much if any contact with others, so I feel comfortable with the level of risks involved for everyone (baby, grandparents, etc). If grandmothers decide to go buck wild (you never know) we would probably isolate from them more, but if you need help, you need help. Toddler will continue going to daycare. All risks we have weighed and decided we are comfortable with.
Anonymous says
I’m due with my second in January. We’ve been out in the country at our cabin since March, so it hasn’t been too stressful so far in terms of potential COVID exposure. I drive ~3hrs into the city (a hotspot) for my appointments, and they’ve given me a lot of flexibility on timing the visits so that I can combine anatomy scans with blood draws, etc. I’m in my late 30s and have a history of miscarriages so my OB would prefer to see me.
The way I’m thinking about L&D is that we’re going to have to make some potentially big decisions mid-way through the fall. It just feels too far away right now, and it’s so hard to know what the COVID cases will be like. But I do have a feeling it’s going to be complicated. No idea, for example, what we’ll do with my toddler when I need to go to the hospital. In a normal world, I’d have my mom fly in.
Anonymous says
I am, but it’s early (6 weeks on Thursday). My first appt is at 8 weeks – I suspect it will all be very different from my first pregnancy but I don’t yet know how. In NYC.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hi! Early-ish – 14 weeks – with DS #2, due at the end of December. Since DS #1 was induced/9 days late, I am not ruling out a January baby. :)
I’m okay for now mental-health wise ONLY because this is my second pregnancy. My last appointment was the 12 week scan/NIPT results discussion, and next appointment is in a few weeks (virtual). All my appointments so far have been in-person except for a meeting with the practice’s financial person to discuss insurance/coverage which was via phone. Masks required. They just started allowing a +1 at appointments, but since cases have risen rapidly where we are, I expect that to be pared back. DH hasn’t come with me, and honestly I’ve been fine…he only came to the “big” appointments first time, and we’re working from home with toddler underfoot, so it’s logistically challenging anyway right now. Also I like the alone time to/from the appointments. Call me weird, it’s fine.
As for the hospital…no idea. Haven’t thought too much about it yet, but I’m not going to be surprised if it’s very limited.
Pogo says
Now 32w, my second. Things could definitely be better.
Overall I have been very happy with the care I’ve received and my practice’s balance of telemed/in person/restrictions/etc. I had one appt that was converted to telemed but I think it was 24w and we didn’t really talk about anything critical anyway. Agree with others that doing the 20w in person solo was a little scary but I was able to FT DH (who couldn’t really see much on the screen) but at least he was hearing all the stuff at the same time. I’ve had two pretty close friends get bad news at their 20w in otherwise low-risk pregnancies so I’m probably extra crazy about that.
I was right on the border for my GTT and they cancelled the 3 hour. Friend across the country had the same experience, though she has to monitor her blood, I was not told to do that (I think bc it’s my second and I had almost the same level w/ my first and did not develop GD, so the OB said they’d just watch my weight and use that as a guide – I’ve been weighing in every week and have not had a huge jump, so I think they’ll be fairly comfortable that I don’t have GD). Anyway I think having a pregnant woman in the hospital lab for ~4 hours when the result is borderline was more risky COVID-wise than the risk of having a false negative on GD.
Now, my partner can come with me to the office but due to the ongoing nightmare that is childcare in the age of COVID, he hasn’t been able to and likely won’t going forward. That’s definitely what stresses me the most. I had not planned to be working full time, taking care of a toddler at home tag-team with my husband and various family members, trying not to leave the house except when necessary, and massively pregnant…all at the same time. Our daycare is coming back this week but 8-4 for the hours, which is SO much better than nothing, and I’m sure I’ll feel better eventually, but it still feels like not enough time to get my work done and makes for stressful evenings.
Hospital policy is similar to above – 1 support person who can’t leave except to get ice/food/etc inside the hospital itself, and no visitors. We have to have grandparent support b/c of the toddler. So he’ll be looked after by my parents while we’re in the hospital and they will be helping out after as well. In-laws will probably want to, too, though I am likely going to put a hard line on my niece/nephew because their exposure recently started increasing (going back to baseball for example). Or maybe insist everybody do a really strict 2w quarantine before baby. Idk. I’m definitely stressed about it, was not what I imagined for second baby at all.
SF says
34 weeks here in LA with my second kiddo. As of now…one support person who can’t leave. I have to wear a mask during labor (although I’ve heard this isn’t always enforced). No testing. My mother in law is going to drive down from norcal to come help with my older kiddo.
I’ve been trying not to make any plans until I’m a month out, but somehow that’s now only a week away.
Anonymous says
I’m 39 weeks and delivering this week, in a hotspot area with significant hospital bed space issues. Things have not been great. I’m high risk and only had one appointment (30 weeks apt) converted to telemed. All others have been in person. No visitors at appointments starting in early March, so just after my 20 week scan. Masks are required, and no other patients in the office at the same time. Right now, my hospital will allow one support person, requires testing of both, and masks are to be worn the entire time by both, even when staff are not present in the room. The hospital policy has changed twice since June 23, so I’m not optimistic we aren’t in for another change before my induction on Friday. If I test positive, the baby is separated from us until discharge. I’ve been isolating since March. I am grateful to be able to telework this whole time, especially the last few weeks of this pregnancy when everything has hit the fan and I’m super uncomfortable. However, I will say it is extra stressful to be at an appointment alone and be repeatedly sent to triage because of those pesky issues and not be able to have the support person to help retain the information and all that. This is also my first and I wasn’t really prepared for the dumpster fire the third trimester has turned out to be so part of this is my own inexperience with everything.
Ashley says
I feel so distraught for those of you that will have to wear masks in labor! I remember being so uncomfortable that even a stray hair tickling my face was sending me over the edge. Will be thinking of you all :(
AnonATL says
Im 36w and as far as visitors go post-baby, we have decided to let my parents and my brother and sister in law see the baby when we get home from the hospital (they are all within an hour drive). I’m well aware of their social distancing practices and am comfortable with both the small risk of us giving it to them from the hospital and them giving it to us. I will make sure they wash hands and will likely request they wear a mask or we sit on the back porch while they hold the baby. This is my parent‘s first grandkid so it’s a risk we are all willing to take.
I still have living local grandparents who are eager to meet their great grandson and we will allow to see the baby after at least 1 week, probably 2 to make sure we don’t bring anything home from the hospital to give to them (they are in their upper 80s but still relatively healthy).
All non-local family is going to have to wait probably till he is closer to 2 months but that depends on the continued spread down here. I am in my brother’s wedding in October and am struggling with the potential risk there. I want to be there for him, but I haven’t decided what to do about the baby and my husband who were planning to attend as well. We shall see. October is a long way in pandemic time…
Good luck on the rest of your pregnancy!
AnonATL says
Threading fail.. Belongs above with the pregnant ladies discussion.
what happened on your birthday child says
My four-year-old girl twin never threw tantrums at 2, or at 3… she has always been unrealistically well-behaved. She loves rules and order. She turned 4 in April and since then we are getting ENORMOUS overreactions and toddler-level tantrums 2-5 times per day that are really freaking me out! She goes from zero to thrashing around on the floor like, kicking and bucking, and when we say she needs to calm down and take her to her room to chill out, she pounds on the door, pounds on her bed, screams louder than I thought was possible, and kicks everything (though she does stay in her room– rule follower!). These mostly seem to be precipitated by having to wait for something– they’ll happen when we’re already in the process of driving somewhere she wants to go, or she’s waiting for everyone to finish dinner so we can all have dessert, for her brother to finish her turn with a book, etc. So most of it is screaming at the top of her lungs that “IT’S TAKING TOO LONG!!!” repeatedly. But it’s happening anytime she has to wait more than about 15 seconds for anything, which is… frequently. I’m a little at the end of my rope. So far I’ve tried:
1. Talking to her about it when she’s calmer– she admits she’s having a really hard time waiting and seems to realize it’s a problem. Like she’ll very calmly tell me that she “pitched a big fit because I didn’t want to wait.” I know girl, I was there.
2. Repeating the Daniel Tiger show/lesson/song about things you can do when you wait… singing it or suggesting waiting activities it makes her even madder in the moment, and talking about it outside the moment doesn’t seem to be helping.
3. Ignoring it. We put her in her room and let her scream and bang it out for 5-10 minutes. She usually finds a book, and we let her come out when she’s calm.
Any other ideas? I’m hoping to God this is a phase and we just lucked out during the toddler years, but she seems too old and good at communicating for this sudden immense rage! At least she isn’t hitting me or her brother (on purpose) when it happens… she doesn’t seem to be doing this at day care, but I’m concerned about when she starts 4k in the fall. Can I chalk it up to “everything in her world is crazy right now” and keep dumping her in her bed to smash it out?
Anonymous says
My almost 4yo was tantruming all the time and it was terrible. We dropped a frequent fighting point (nap) which made the second disagreement point (bedtime) easier. But the thing that fixed it was going back to daycare. He’s only part-time (he used to be FT) and his behavior is a complete 180. I think he was getting depressed/anxious. He also stopped asking sadly when people wouldn’t be sick anymore.
Anonymous says
Glad to hear this! My 3.5 yos have been ramping up their bad behavior lately and I’m hoping that starting back at daycare (even though it will only be PT instead of FT) will help.
Anonymous says
Exercise? Is she cooped up due to the pandemic?
SC says
I would work on strategies for staying calm during waiting. We have to do a lot of work with our son on emotional regulation, though he has different triggers.
Pay attention to cues that your daughter is starting to get frustrated. I remember feeling like Kiddo went from 0 to 100 in 15 seconds, but there are often cues that I need to intervene and sometimes just remove him from a situation. Talk about strategies related to the feelings, not the waiting. So, if she’s feeling frustrated but not in a full tantrum yet, talk about deep breaths, asking for help, taking some alone time.
You can also try to get out ahead of the waiting issue while she’s still calm. So, before you go on a car ride, prepare her for how long it’s going to be and develop a plan for the car with her. If she has to wait for dessert, tell her how many minutes until dessert (not just “when everyone is finished”). In both cases, give her a visual timer so she can see how long it’s been/how long is left. If she’s going to have to wait for a turn, redirect her before she gets upset. These strategies won’t always work, but they might give her a sense of control and certainty to keep her from getting upset.
Others may have tips for handling things once she’s screaming and banging. With my son, the focus is to keep him and others safe until he’s calm again. We can’t seem to “get through” at that point, but I’m not sure how much of that is his special needs and how much of that is all kids.
rakma says
Waiting to hear if MIL, who is our main childcare, was exposed to COVID. I was back in the office last week (apparently it’s more important for my behind to be in the seat at my office for unknown reasons) so I took today off with the hope that DH and I will be able to split days home and days in the office until we find out. He still has the option to WFH some days, so maybe we won’t blow all our PTO and have to move to FMLA or whatever the next option is.
I am just so tired of figuring out how to stay solvent and keep my kids safe and cared for.
Just venting. I know many here are feeling the same stressors.
Pogo says
Ugh. That is beyond stressful. Thinking of you.
Second Child? says
I’ve searched the archives and there are lots of good threads on deciding whether to have a second kid. DH and I were probably in the no kids camp, but maybe 1 kid. We had our daughter just over a year ago. I had a pretty easy pregnancy overall I think mostly marked by 1st trimester exhaustion and some late pregnancy issues that required a lot of time to monitor (saw the doctor 2-3 times a week for 1-2 hours each time the last month of pregnancy) but weren’t otherwise hard to manage or scary. I had an unscheduled C-section, but my recovery was easy. Daughter was a really easy baby after some early eating struggles (not sure I would breastfeed again) and has always been a good sleeper and seems to have an easygoing temperament. DH and I recently both wondered if we might like a second. We both enjoy being parents more than we thought we would. We never thought about a second before and I can’t imagine we would have such an easy pregnancy this time or such an easy baby. (We feel like we hit the baby jackpot with our first). We both have big careers and routinely work 50-60+ hours a week. We manage with one but I can’t see that continuing for me with a second. I’m not sure I could scale back at my current job, so I’d probably need to find something different. I have mixed feelings about that. I love my job most of the time but it does have real limitations and I’m not certain that I have a long term future there either. I’m an only; DH is the older of 2. No local family and the family we do have for a variety of health reasons really can’t help much. I’m 37, almost 38 and DH is 40 almost 41. I have a really hard time imagining being pregnant during Covid, but if we did have a second I think I’d prefer them closer together and obviously age is a factor. Any recent articles or books on how to decide that anyone found helpful? Things to think about? General musings?
Anon says
I’d say go for it. My husband and I also both have big jobs and honestly I don’t feel like an additional kid is that much more of a time suck than one kid; a lot of the logistics you are already dealing with for the older.
Second Child? says
What kind of outside help do you have? We were a daycare family because the hours / cost was better than a nanny for us. We currently have a nanny (expensive, fewer hours, but fine). We also have a cleaning service (not currently), yard service, already did delivery grocery (pandemic meant I actually had to go to the store because we couldn’t get delivery slots for a while), and got meals delivered / ate a fair bit of takeout, and a dog walker. I figure with 2 kids we’d have a nanny and maybe convert the cleaning service to a housekeeper who could help with stuff like laundry as well.
Anonymous says
My two kids are almost 2 and almost 4. Our second was the easier baby. It was really hard for awhile, but it keeps getting easier. I was promoted while pregnant with my 2nd to a more complex role supervising more people. My husband left the worlds most flexible job for a more demanding one. It was probably too much but o feel like we are on the other side now and I love having two (we wanted a minimum of two). My labor was much harder with the second, but if you do a planned c-section that might not be a big deal. Weight loss has been harder with the 2nd, but I also blame Covid for some of my stalling. We have no local family. I am just putting this all out there as things to consider.
All the being said, we are on the fence about 3, because it’s hard to imagine giving up how easy things have gotten for baby land again. We would adopt though, because I don’t feel it is safe for me to give birth again.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Try posting again tomorrow but some quick thoughts – having more than one more or less means you’re signing up for a kid-focused life, at least until they’re out of school. There are exceptions of course of people who continue travelling and maintaining their time-consuming individual hobbies (typically with lots of paid help), but with more than one, the focus becomes much more on the kids’ schedules – first naps, then school, then activities, etc. Just one minor example but I never thought I would want a minivan… and yet, here I am with two kids thinking ahead to their activities and carpools, and seeing the ease of those minivan doors and suddenly those sound really appealing! FWIW, my second was just as good of a sleeper as my first and probably is an “easier” baby/kid in general but still, the two of them take up a lot of time and energy. When you have two little ones, there is for sure a ton of work to take care of them. A. ton. I hear it gets easier when they can play together well, but I’m not there yet (4 and 1.5). So some things to think about are what kind of life you’re looking for with kids and for yourselves. I don’t think there’s one better or worse option.
Anonymous says
This is true. When we had one the kiddo did our things. We now have 3 and despite our best efforts, we have lost our weekends to sports, birthday parties, etc.
We’ve embraced it and become good friends with a few other families with same-age kids. We hang out and drink cocktails/ play cards while the kids run around in the yard or house (sigh, pre-COVID). Our “people” are now other soccer coaches, school fundraiser chairs, fellow tennis carpoolers etc (all of whom work full or part time).