Accessory Tuesday: Carson Backpack

I need sleep help! I feel like we have sleep trained our 15 month old 10 ten times already. Every time he gets sick, we’re out of town, a grandparent visits, the time changes, we have to do it again. He usually does well and can put himself to sleep without crying by day 2 or 3. This time he’s throwing us a curve ball. He starts to go down around 7:30pm and is asleep by 8pm, but then wakes up screaming at 11pm. We tried to sleep train at 11 last night, by going in to say good night at 3min, 5min, 7min and on and on. He screamed for an hour. There were times where he settled down and I thought he would go to sleep, but then he would perk up and scream louder. After an hour of it we gave up and I nursed him to sleep in my bed. I can’t hang anymore. How should we handle the 11pm wake up?

I feel like I’m constantly on the hunt for a bag that will hold my pumping accoutrements. Some people here recommended the OMG or OG, which I’m considering, but I really want a backpack because I carry home like 30 ounces a day. I’m willing to shell out some bucks, but most of the higher-end backpacks I’ve seen are fairly shallow and I need 6 inches deep minimum, preferably 7 or 8. Anyone have experience with the Hanover or other decently work-appropriate backpacks? I want something with some structure. I know I could find some deeper travel backpacks, but I’m hoping to find the unicorn that’s big enough but still okay for work.

My mother is driving me insane with her parenting advice. The last set of comments have just sent me over the edge. She picked my daughter from school the other day and went with her to movie night at school, and daughter tantrumed a bunch, but it sounds like it was mostly related to how my mother handled the tantrums (e.g., giving in, telling her stop crying, shaming her for tantrums). She told me about this and told me my daughter needs to see a psychologist and that if I don’t get this addressed asap and that my daughter was the “worst behaved kid in the school” and I need to find a way to stop the tantrums or she would “end up a drug addict.”

Today she sent me a text that I need to find a way to pull out my daughter from after school because she “hangs out with all the bad kids” (i.e., kids whose moms work!) and that the after school program is “only trouble.” I am not a huge fan of the after school program and my daughter does say she wants to be picked up at carpool, but she is doing activities at school half the time anyways and she hangs out with her friends there. She probably spends 10 hours in it a week. But her comments make me wonder if I should lean out and find a way to be able to pick up my daughter from school. I love what I do and find it super meaningful, I am damn good at what I do, and make good money, so I hate the idea of giving that up, but of course would if it meant a lot for my daughters wellbeing. I try to be the best parent I can be when not at work, and think I am doing a ton better than my parents did.

This is all especially frustrating because I have few memories of spending time with my parents as a kid. I was picked up by other relatives /sitters from school, never ate dinner with them, and spent my weekends watching TV. I never felt like I could talk about my feelings with my parents, and I like to think that I am doing better for my kids.

How do I respond to her comments and deal with my mother? A part of me is just like cut her off but my kids love her and she can be somewhat helpful at times with childcare (though not super helpful), and she is my mother after all.

Will my kid be ok if she is in an afterschool program and only spending 3ish hours a day with parents on weekdays? Are tantrums in preschool normal? Are there any working moms with older kids? Are your kids doing well? What do you guys do for afterschool? Maybe I should look into nannies.

Does anyone have a recommendation for a clock radio for a 5-year old? I want to get something for her to play her own music, but I am oddly baffled by what. Are CDs still a thing? Or do we get her an mp3 player and a clock radio that it can plug into. Or with bluetooth? I feel like an old. Please help!

I don’t know what I’m looking for – I guess I just need to vent. DH and I have been fighting a lot, basically starting since our kid arrived (kid is 20 months). I know I have plenty of share in the blame, but couples therapy is not working (therapist basically said we have no problems, which makes me feel even worse for thinking we have problems). I’m just kind of at a loss and ready to throw in the towel. Anything work for you when you’ve felt like that? Every time DH tries to pick a fight I just shut down. He’s a lawyer so I’m kind of sick of arguing with him because his response always feels like “well your argument isn’t valid because X.”

Solo parents with 2+ children, do you eat dinner with your kids? I really want and used to before baby but find it so incredibly challenging since baby was born, but can’t figure out why I am having such a hard time.

Travel question – I am flying with three kids this Saturday on Southwest. Last time we did this, our plane had rows of 2, so we just sat in one row. Would you do 2 and 2 (with the windows open), 2 and 2 (back to back) or 3 and 1, with the aisle in between? My oldest is almost ten and will be fine as long as nothing goes wrong, and can probably handle his own air mask etc., but I’d still like to be able to reach him.