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AwayEmily says
Has anyone managed to schedule a kids covid booster yet? I got mine last night but haven’t been able to find any place that is doing kids at this point. The pediatrician says they don’t have any yet, Walgreens says they won’t do kids until the end of the month…anyone else having luck? Not the end of the world if we have to wait ten days but cases are way up in our area and I’d love for them to have that extra protection.
anon says
In my area, a handful of Walgreens have the pediatric Covid vaccine. I found out by scheduling at one and then getting a call to reschedule at another because the other one is the one with pediatric vaccines. My kids are scheduled for later in the week.
FVNC says
Same experience. My husband and I were able to schedule ours for this weekend at CVS, but pediatric appointments are not currently available. Not available yet at pediatrician. Seems a little backward since kids are getting way more potential exposure than my WFH self, but oh well. NOVA area.
Anonymous says
It isn’t though. Kids aren’t at risk or a priority group for this vaccine and they are only like two weeks behind.
Anonymous says
No. They aren’t available until the 29th.
Anon says
My kids (1 and 3) wake up between 6/6:30. 3-year-old’s school starts at 8:30, so we leave the house at 8:15 to drop off 1-year-old, then drop off 3-year-old.
I therefore have 2-2.5 hours every morning with my children, which in theory is wonderful to get so much time with them despite working full time, but also… it’s a lot of time to full up. Breakfast and getting dressed only take so long. On nice days we leave a bit earlier and go for a walk (note: we live in a fully walkable city), stop by a local coffee shop, go to the playground. I try to avoid TV, unless I have to shower and then they get to watch a 20 min show.
Does anyone else have a lot of time in the mornings with their kids? What do you do?
Anonymous says
I have a 10 month old so different age but similar schedule. We do special bath playtime (bubble bath and fun toys), water activities in the yard when it’s nice, going to a park, going to the library on the day it opens early, our local YMCA opens early so sometimes I take him to their childcare (which he loves) and swim laps for 30 minutes. Basically we go out of the house for some outside time.
Anon says
Read books, sit on the floor drinking your coffee while they play around you, do puzzles with the older one and build block towers for the younger, put on nursery rhymes and snuggle and sing
Anonymous says
Do you not cook breakfast, unload the dishwasher, slam coffee, assemble lunches and snacks, dress your children, hunt for lost water bottles/shoes/book reports, or administer medicine/bug spray/sunscreen? That’s what I spend my time doing in the mornings.
Anon says
That doesn’t take anywhere near 2 hours!
Anonymous says
This is what I do and for two kids moving at a decent pace it takes me at least 90 mins. That includes me getting ready for work too.
Anonymous says
You could grocery shop! It sounds like you don’t need all that time to get ready so leave at 7:15, grocery shop/run errands (our target opens at 8!), do dropoff, then drop off groceries.
ifiknew says
I do. Both our 4 and 6 year old’s come downstairs at 6:30 and typically have already brushed and dressed themselves (6 year old 100% of the time, 4 year old is 50/50). Our 6 year old starts school at 7:40 we need to leave the house by 7:20, but either me or my husband will take her and the other one stays home with 4 year old. He puzzles, colors, plays with his toys, being read to after she goes to school. We typically do about 10-15 minutes of reading practice, activity books, some kind of more focused “academic” skills when his mind is the most fresh. We also frequently will go for a walk if he’s done all of that. I typically leave the house somewhere between 8:20-8:45 to drop him off. I will caveat all this by saying I delay dropping him off as long as possible in the mornings because I love when I have my children one on one and I know that next year, this will be gone as public elementary school starts so early.
AwayEmily says
We had this when my kids were younger and consistently woke up at 6. Now that they wake up at 6:45/7 we only have an hour before we leave for school and I kind of miss those long leisurely mornings. We used to do a lot of reading…I’d pick out a big pile of picture books, get them each a toaster waffle or piece of toast and a 360 of milk, and we’d sit on the couch having “first breakfast” and reading together for 25 minutes. It was wonderful.
Anonymous says
If you don’t want to use the time for reading or a walk, you could shift baths to the morning.
anon says
With back to school, my kids (7 and 10 yo) have embraced the word NO and even simple requests are turning into huge fights. Put on your shoes? NO. Time for a shower? NO. Take your plate to the sink? NO. Pick your backpack up off the floor? NO. Turn off the TV? NO. Time for bed? NO. Brush your teeth? NO. I’ve been trying to lay off, knowing that they’re stressed from the start of school, but they do need to do basic things. Typically I deal with occasional resistance, but it’s become their only response. In the past I’ve been able to talk to them and they’d relent, but that isn’t working. Only strong consequences get any action and by then everyone is miserable. I’m really tired of feeling like life is a fight. They just had an entire weekend of downtime, and I thought that would help, but it didn’t at all. If anything, they are even more resistant. Any suggestions for turning around the dynamic?
Anon says
Same aged kids, and I would address at a family dinner or meeting that is fun for everyone. Find the most peaceful time — maybe ice cream over the weekend or a dinner out? — and ask them, straight up, “hey, I feel like we are all in this really tough situation where you guys are saying “no” a lot, and it’s made it tough to do stuff together. I”m getting really frustrated and so are you. What’s up?” Ask them why, or if there are things that they want you to change, and just generally have them brainstorm better ways to approach the friction points. I’ve had luck saying, “look, you need to do these 5 things every night — I hate nagging you to do them, and you hate being nagged, so what’s the best way to get them done?” I have one kid who just wants a drop dead time to get it done, and will race and do it all 5 minutes before his time limit comes — but I don’t mention anything to him, unless 8PM comes and he hasn’t done it yet. I have another kid who wants to get it all behind him, so does his stuff the minute he gets in the door. My kids also came up with their own consequences if they don’t get their stuff done, and I feel like they are frankly more likely to avoid the consequences they picked than the ones I do.
Maybe add a family incentive that would work for your crew, or if you notice that one kid is really the driver of the resistance, take that kid out separately and find out if something else is going on.
Spirograph says
Similar age kids and yes, I’d address it family meeting style, and then check in frequently after that, remembering to give positive feedback when they do something pleasantly the first time you ask. I sometimes do an agile-style “retrospective” on behavior that morning during the drive to school, too. “Hey, remember our goal was to get out of the house by 7:45, what time is it right now? What happened? I had to remind you approximately 283457102983 times to get dressed and you kept getting distracted with your nerf battle. What are we going to differently tomorrow?”
But in the moment when they say NO, I would probably say something like, “You seem to have mistaken that for an option, when it’s actually your responsibility. The ‘please’ was to be polite, not to indicate you have a choice. let’s try again: please take your plate to the sink.”
anon says
Does having a visual scheduled they can read or check off help? One of my kids hates even gentle reminders, but being able to check on her own what to do next takes the parent out of the equation.
Anonymous says
Clear consistent consequences are the only thing that works. You don’t turn off the tv when told then you don’t get to watch tv the next day. You give any attitude about the consequence and the consequence doubles. Clear consequences that are laid out and explained in advance.
Have a family meeting and explain what must happen every week – like do they have to shower every day or every second day? Do they have wash their hair each time. Or twice a week? So like when I told my oldest yesterday that she had to get a shower and wash her hair – she knows she has to do it because it’s Monday and she showers everyday but her hair wash days are Monday and Thursday.
Anon says
i think getting back into the school routine where they are told what to do ALL day it is then hard to come home and to continue to be told what to do. so i agree maybe addressing it on a weekend when people aren’t quite as stressed/tired to have them help you brainstorm
Anonymous says
My 8 year old and I just read Mrs Piggle Wiggle and… the Answer Backers Cure chapter was surprisingly helpful in starting a discussion about this issue. Warning, this book is extremely outdated and has very old fashioned gender roles, spanking etc so it’s also been a good jumping off place for some of those discussions.
Spirograph says
hahaha we listened to the audiobook of that on a road trip last summer, and “I’ll do it because I want to, but not because you told me to!” in parrot-voice was prevalent from both adults and kids for months afterward. Forewarned is forearmed. But +1 that it was a surprisingly good jumping off place for discussion!
anon says
My kid has lice! Super icked out. That is all!
Anon says
someone posted yesterday with lice too
anon says
Oh, I missed yesterday’s thread. Thank you, very helpful!
anon says
My 8 year old is getting really boy crazy. Like constantly talking about “her crush” and how she loves him and he’s so handsome and she wants to marry him. I’m trying to take it in stride and for what it is, asking basic questions like, what do you like about him? (“Because he’s so handsome!”) and trying to keep it light. Not ignoring it but not encouraging it either. Its been going on for months now, and seems to be getting more intense, so I feel like I should address it but I’m not sure how. Any advice? Please be gentle, this is new territory for me, and I want to make sure I handle it kindly but appropriately for her age.
govtattymom says
Can you tell if she is super into him or if this is more a “game” she is playing with her friends? My daughter was similarly talking about her “crush” all the time. Each of her friends had a “crush” and they talked about their crushes a lot. I think they were influenced by certain movies etc. Honestly, after about 6 months of chatter, the girls moved on to new topics of conversation. I think you are handling it well- not ignoring but also not encouraging sounds like a good approach.
Anonymous says
Same thing happened when my oldest was in late 2nd/early 3rd grade. I think a lot of the reading material touches on crushes.
My daughter relayed each girls’ “crush” and told me that she couldn’t figure out a crush because all the boys were really annoying and “8 is awfully young to have a crush. We don’t have any money for dates! She decided to revisit in a year. (Fwiw my daughter is one of the oldest kids in her grade; her assessment is spot on).
Anon says
she sound very wise…lol.
Anonymous says
“Crushes” were a fad when my daughter was in third grade, driven mainly by a couple of girls with older siblings. Most of the kids played along but a few found the whole thing annoying and offensive. The fad died down within a few months.
Openhouse says
How bad would it be to skip the kids open house? Spouse is traveling last minute and my options for childcare aren’t the best (without getting into details my older grandmother can watch the kids but she can’t get them ready for bed so it would be dinner + tv and a later bedtime). Trying to figure out if worth the pain of a later bedtime to attend
Cb says
Skip it guilt free. Have a parent in the class message you with any need to knows or gossip.
Anon2 says
I like open houses and think a late bedtime is totally fine for a night (especially if they are elementary age and not a 1yo). But you don’t *have* to go…only about half the parents in my kids’ classes attended ours. Though, the teachers were annoyed about that, because it’s more work for them to funnel the information out…so it is more respectful of the teachers’ time if you can swing it.
Anon says
are you at a new school?
Anon says
I have definitely skipped these, but my advice is to email the teacher during the day ahead of time if you can. In my experience, the kids write a letter to you and parents are encouraged to write something back. The only real reason to go is if your child will be missing your note the next day, or feel left out if you didn’t put a note back to them or whatever. I have tucked a note in my child’s backpack that the teacher can pull out and put with the other parents’ notes.
anon says
Whereas in my school district the kids don’t prepare anything special, so it’s really only intended as a night for teachers to convey information to parents.
OP, I like getting to see my kids’ classroom, but it’s definitely possible to get the info from another parent after the fact. And our teachers usually send out the powerpoint the next day.
Anonymous says
Exactly this. One girl at our open house didn’t have a parent at her desk. I coach soccer with her dad and texted him. His wife had sent a note in for daughter but it wasn’t there, so I reminded the teacher, made sure it found its way and took some photos of his daughters stuff around the classroom. His wife was traveling and they couldn’t find a sitter.
Anon says
This is steamroller parenting at its finest. Your kid will not be traumatized by missing a generic, dashed-off note from her parents.
Spirograph says
I like to go to these if I don’t know the teachers already, but you can skip it guilt-free. You’ll meet the teachers and see the building at parent-teacher conferences in a month or so anyway, right?
Also, check whether there’s childcare at the school. The aftercare program at our school provides free childcare during Back-to-School night. That won’t help with the later bedtime, but might be more convenient than enlisting help from your grandmother.
FVNC says
Agree. And even without childcare from the school, there are always some kids at the open house at our school, even though the school says it’s an adults-only event. If your kids can sit quietly with a book or tablet/headphones, there shouldn’t be an issue IMO.
NYCer says
If it were me, I would live with the late bedtime for one night, go to the open house and leave as soon as it finishes (skip the chit chatting). I like open house / curriculum night though, so YMMV if it is not your thing.
Anon says
This is what I’d do too.
Anonymous says
I have never once learned anything useful at open house. Total waste of time. The only reason to go is to prevent your child from being angry that you didn’t see the work on their desk and leave them a note.
Anonymous says
IDK, I have 3 kids in elem and it’s really nice to meet the teacher, see the classroom, say hello to other parents in the class etc. Is it skip-able? Certainly. But it’s nice to go if you can.
Spirograph says
This. I don’t approach it thinking I’m going to learn anything important about the curriculum or daily schedule, but I think there’s value in meeting the teachers so they hopefully remember me as a friendly face if we need to talk about anything later. Also, the teachers are taking time out of their evening to be present for me, and I want to show I respect their time by making the effort to be there.
(None of that is intended to backpedal on my previous comment that you can skip this guilt-free if it doesn’t work for your family. There are plenty of extremely good reasons why a family might not be able to attend, but in that case I would send a quick email to the teacher apologizing that I missed it and saying I look forward to meeting him/her at conferences.)
Anon says
Agree, I really like going!
Anon says
Another school & money question. I found out that our elementary school recently got a schoolwide Title 1 designation, which normally requires 40% of the kids to be on free or reduced lunch. Only about 15% of the kids in our school are. Apparently in our state (maybe everywhere?) there’s some sort of waiver program that allows schools to get Title 1 funding even when they don’t meet the poverty cutoff. I can understand that there should be some flexibility for schools that have, say, 35% of kids in poverty, but our school is not even close! We have a local reputation as the “posh” elementary school and have an incredibly involved and comfortably upper middle class, though not ultra wealthy, parent base. Am I way off base to feel like this is kind of icky? Everyone seems so excited about the extra funding and of course I want our school to be well-funded, but I just feel like we’re taking money away from more deserving schools.
Anonymous says
I think you’re inventing a thing to be stressed about. The govt is fully capable of granting or not granting a waiver.
Anonymous says
It is icky and wrong, and I recently learned my son’s former school was in the same boat, along with some other schools in our city due to dumb policies. https://ny.chalkbeat.org/2023/3/29/23660678/nyc-schools-title-i-poverty-calculation-funding-budget
It is hard not to want the “best” for your own child, but yes, ultimately we are taking money away from schools that need it more. The inequities are astonishing. My husband taught at a public high school where he had to buy his own whiteboard markers, and now he teaches at one that due to private fundraising among alumni has absolutely insane resources. That’s a lot harder to fix than government funding, which should at least be distributed according to need.
Anon says
My older kids’ elementary is a Title I school and sounds similar to yours, minus the “posh” piece. I haven’t done a deep dive, and didn’t know the thresholds that you mention. The school is also located within a neighborhood where homes (and the relevant property taxes) are on the higher end for our city. I know the school is also zoned to areas that aren’t as affluent, and have magnet kids that aren’t from the neighborhood that attend, so I figure that’s where the 40% comes from.
Also, gently, families with less means than yours can also be involved with the school and make it a great place to be. Ask me how I know.
Also the way public education is funded in our country is so icky period, and this is just a piece of it, so it’s a systematic reality for now.
Spirograph says
Wow, I didn’t know this was a thing, I wonder what the waiver justification is? And yes, I would feel icky about that too… our elementary school is just shy of the Title I designation, so it’s a frequent topic at PTA meetings, but no one has ever mentioned a waiver.
(And yes, inequality in public school funding in America is a huge problem)
OP says
The only thing I can think of is that we have an unusually high percentage of kids for whom English is their second language. But they’re mostly the children of tenure track university faculty, so it’s not like they’re impoverished or from families that don’t support education (and most of the kids are perfectly fluent in English by the time they start K even if they learned a different language first). But I couldn’t find anything online about how having lots of English language learners would relate to Title 1, so I’m not sure that’s relevant anyway.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t underestimate the effect of the ESL kids even re highly educated parents. DH has a PhD in a hard science, wrote his Phd in English and has worked in English for 20 years but has still been daunted and confused by various aspect of the elementary system. Like ‘WTF is a duotang and why do the colours matter?’ and our kids are taught long division in a different way than he was. And he never learned printing, only cursive. These are minor examples but I can imagine that if both parents did not grow up with the North American system and are not first language English, there can be challenges.
Anon says
I’m a native English speaker who grew up in the US and I never heard of duotang! Is it a Canadian thing?
Anonymous says
I live in a very wealthy town. We have 4 elem schools and my kids go to one that had title 1 status. The average HHI in our district is easily $200k.
Our district does have the one low income housing complex in town, and all our elems bus in kids from Boston, but we absolutely do not have 40% of kids getting free lunch (actually they all do bc Massachusetts has universal free lunch!). I think it also factors in % English language learners and other factors. Someone once told me it has to do with the relative achievement gap vs other districts in town.
Spirograph says
ooooh now that you mention achievement gap, I think it may actually have something to do with relative achievement gap of FARMS & ESL kids vs non FARMS & ESL within the same school. That is a big issue in our school, which pulls from an upper-middle-class neighborhood (primarily white collar professionals) and a large apartment building (primarily blue collar immigrant families). If you look at average test scores for the student population, they’re reasonable-but-not-great, but when you break it down by demographics you see that there’s actually a lot of very high scores and a a lot of very low ones, without much in the middle.
Anonymous says
A school can qualify just by having a higher number of low income students than other schools in the same district. I assume this is designed to even out inequalities between elementary schools in very different neighborhoods, but our district only has one school at each grade level, so the elementary school gets it by default.
anon says
There’s a lot to be concerned about school funding, particularly the local funding model where poorer areas have less money to spend on schools. I’m not at all concerned about a school that has some children from very poor families that gets some extra money.
My kids’ school is a Title I school that also has a lot of well off families. The Title I funding isn’t a ton and largely goes to fund a specialized reading teacher a few days a week. The reading teacher is available based on need, regardless of family income. However, I know from the published test scores that kids from poor families disproportionately need extra reading help and therefore are getting the bulk the reading teacher’s time. I think it’s great that the kids who need the extra help get it.
I vote for politicians who want to increase public school funding, especially for schools in poorer areas. I am not going to begrudge a public school getting funding to help kids learn to read.
anon says
hi everyone, I’m the NYC poster pregnant with my first due in March who asked about baby nurse questions. Thanks for all the responses and help—I think we’ve secured a baby nurse for the first 8 weeks, which is really easing my mind/anxiety!
I was a bit stunned at how early baby nurses tend to book up, so want to be prepared for nannies. Hoping to get a nanny around August/September as I go back to work—in NYC, how early do I need to be looking?
Anonymous says
In general I think that is a good time to be phasing someone in, as people’s needs tend to change at the start of the school year in September. I would guess May/June but defer to people with more nanny hiring experience. (I’m in NYC but used daycare).
NYCer says
Nannies are a different ball game than baby nurses in my experience (meaning that baby nurses book up much earlier). For nannies, there will be some turn over at the end of the school year because of people moving out of the city, so you could poke around in late May or June. But realistically, a good nanny may not want to wait around for two or three months with no pay until starting with you in August or September, so you may have better luck waiting until the end of summer. There is generally a fair bit of nanny turnover at that time of the year too (kids starting to go to school full time).
Anon says
+1. The people I know who booked nannies more than two months in advance all lost their nannies between when they contracted and the job started. (This is downtown urban setting in past 2 years but not NYC, for context).
Anon says
Any moms in the Boston area? We are considering relocating for 2 years (husband is a dentist and would be doing a specialty program at the BU Medical Center). I’m trying to figure out what the average cost of daycare might be, and also a good area to live in. We were told the area directly near the hospital isn’t great for families (South End). We would be trying to live mostly off of my income and are coming from a MCOL area so I’m worried it’s going to be a little tight – I make decent money, but not crazy money. I would likely be able to keep my job and WFH, so that’s not a concern. We would be renting a two bedroom apartment, but would like easy transit access and a reasonably safe and child-friendly area. We have one 2yo so would need daycare/preschool. Any advice?
Anon says
Boston is increasingly VHCOL. My guess is you’ll need to budget $2,500-3,000 for daycare.
Anon says
Ugh, that’s what I was afraid of. Assuming we need about 4k in rent to live somewhere decent, that doesn’t leave much for other expenses on my salary.
anon says
This is light. It’ll be more. My suburban Boston daycare is $2400/month.
Anon says
I started a thread last week about daycare costs (I think it was the Monday thread) that has a lot of Boston prices quoted.
The South End is very nice – not sure why anyone would say it wasn’t great for kids, especially for a two-year stint. Otherwise, you’ll want to look for neighborhoods on the Green Line of the T.
Anon says
Thanks, I’ll go check it out. I’m looking around on Zillow right now and definitely feeling like we would have to compromise on where to live. Unless I’m mistaken, the BU medical campus actually isn’t on the green line, it’s separate from the main BU campus somewhere south of the orange line and actually doesn’t look like it has great transit access. I’m kind of wondering if we would be better off in a suburb and he would drive in, although I would love to live in the city to get the full experience for two years. I also may be underestimating how bad the traffic would be and don’t know if he would get parking.
Anonymous says
BUMC has a garage. You’d have to look at what the rules are to get a pass. If he’s commuting normal hours traffic is abysmal. I commuted from Newton to the Med school by car but it was largely night classes. I also parked on the street (with a pass) but this was a decade ago.
Anon says
I was the downtown Boston poster on that thread and you’re going to hate my daycare spend response, but I also use one of the more expensive daycare options (though the posh half day programs at the church’s in the city cost more on an hourly basis). The South End is loaded with families, but not near BMC – that’s where it starts to get a bit less safe. Near the hospital is sort of the epicenter of drug issues in the city. Tons of young families live east of Tremont. Also Back Bay is great and lots of families (little older, South End is more last-stop-before-the-suburbs with toddlers, Back Bay is more pre-teen kids and commited city families). The YMCA, Tartts, and Panda all have daycares I’ve heard good things about. Otherwise recommend living out in JP, which is more suburban, a little bit less expensive than the green line suburbs, and on the orange line which will get him close-ish to the hospital (BMC isn’t really ideally located to the T).
BosAnon says
Most of South End is great, but the BU Med campus is right next to the “Mass and Cass” homeless encampment. OP, that’s probably what they meant when they said the area isn’t great for families. It’s been in the news a ton over the last few months, but Google at your own risk. If your husband is comfortable with short walks, the campus is under a mile (maybe an 8ish minute walk) from the Mass Ave T-stop on the Orange line, and he’d be walking on the opposite side from the encampment, so safer. That would open up a large swath of the city and the directly northern suburbs (Melrose, Malden, Medford, Somerville) to you if you wind up needing to save some $$.
anon says
Malden often gets a bad rap, but we lived there for a year and loved it. Not as “hip” as Cambridge or Somerville, but waaay cheaper.
Anon says
Thanks, all! It’s very helpful to get a local perspective. He can definitely walk a mile if it’s otherwise an easy transit commute so I’ll look into the orange line.
Anonymous says
Hello! I did my grad program at BU’s Med campus (public health). You want to be in the south end if you can swing it but you have to be selective- it’s a lot of DINKs and also gets dicey quickly.
With kids and a budget, I’d look at living in Quincy and commuting on the red line, or in a south ie and doing a bike commute.
Anon says
That’s helpful, thanks! DH was talking to the current grads and got the feeling some parts of the area were ok and others weren’t, so we are trying to figure that out but it’s hard when you are not local. Sorry if this is a stupid question but do people bike in Boston year-round? The weather is milder where we are and we love biking but don’t bike in the winter much.
Anon says
Some people do. I didn’t. It’s pretty unpleasant to bike in Boston winter.
Anon says
When I lived in Boston, I loved bike commuting for errands on the weekend in the winter, but wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing it on city streets during commute times because of ice and salt. I did have friends who stuck with it year-round, though.
anon says
I don’t mind biking in the cold, but I don’t like it when streets are slushy or icy, which is unfortunately a lot of Boston winter.
Anonymous says
Some people bike year round. You can do a bus commute from Southie, or take the red line to Broadway (NOT ANDREW) and walk, or a hybrid. It’s just long. When I lived in Newton I’d usually drive in, but sometimes take the green line to Copley and then either walk to take the bus to BUMC. The walk does take you through some public housing but it’s not actively dangerous. As others have mentioned, Mass & Cass is NOT where you want to walk through- google it and look at the map (where Melna Cass meets Massachusetts ave, right by BUMC’s ER, which is the opposite side of campus from the dental program from what I remember).
Help says
Last night, my 6 year old got really upset while trying to read with DH, and one of the many things she said while crying was “boys are smarter than girls.” It broke my heart to hear that, and I have no clue why she would think that – it’s definitely not something she heard at home. She’s a very sensitive kid, and I want to do everything I can to support her. She is very bright and oh so compassionate, but learning to read has been very hard for her, so I could use advice on how to help her. I also don’t want her to internalize this ridiculous idea that boys are smarter than girls, so any tips on that front would be much appreciated.
Anon says
Ask where she heard that. We went through this but around 4 in preschool and it was a little boy at school saying that boys were better at everything. We then tried to say that sometimes kids say stuff that isn’t true and to ask a grown up aka teacher whether it is true. (Knowing the teacher would shut that right down).
If she didn’t hear it from another kid ask why she thinks that. We talk a lot about running your own race and try to avoid comparisons. And empathy – learning to read is hard! But she can do hard things – give examples of things she’s overcome and learned.
More ammo on the boys are better stuff…we have also had this happen with even a little boy that is a friend telling my daughter humans and dinosaurs coexisted and she believed him “because he’s a boy”. We looked up some smart women scientists the woman who studied chimps Jane Goodall to show some examples of women who know lots about animals and science vs little jimmy in kindergarten. My daughter was really interested in scientists and women who studied animals.
Sigh, the patriarchy has an early influence.
anonM says
That stinks! Maybe focusing some library trips on female authors as well as books about female inventors, leaders, etc.?
As far as reading, I’d look into how your daughter’s school is teaching reading. I am no expert by any means, but listened to Sold a Story podcast/read some of the articles by the author. Many schools are using programs that really fail struggling readers. It convinced me that if my school doesn’t teach phonics, that is one thing I would supplement at home. It’s really such a big milestone in your learning career, so it can hurt a kid’s confidence. I was pretty shocked that some of these programs are unsupported by data but still are used!
My goal with my own daughter (and son) is to try to emphasize that learning can mean struggling and failing! I definitely fell into the trap that a B grade was “failing” and then I felt like I wasn’t good at that subject. I’ve come to realize being married a math major that smart people get poor grades sometimes and that the math majors weren’t necessarily smarter than I was! I hope to try to instill that, but unfortunately, it is nuanced and won’t be solved in one talk with your daughter. Good luck- I hope you’ll follow up with us all on what works over time for your family!!
Anon says
both of my 5 year old fraternal twin girls, though one a bit more than other, makes a lot of comments about boys things versus girl things, and one thing she commented on this summer while visiting my inlaws was how only boys play sports on TV. in their school in K there is also too much emphasis for my liking on boys vs. girls (like they line up in two lines, one of girls, one of boys, have played a game girls vs. boys, etc.). i get that it is easier for teachers to determine if anyone is missing this way, but not the emphasis i’d prefer. my guess is some kid at school said something to her or reading is easier for a boy who sits next to her or something like that. and while i doubt a 6 year old cares about stats, more girls graduate from college each year than boys :-)
Anonymous says
I would not assume that she has already been indoctrinated by the patriarchy. I have a kid who makes ridiculous generalizations when frustrated. If dad reads easily and kiddo is still learning, I could totally see its turning into “boys are better at reading than girls.” Same if one boy at school did well reading aloud or was praised by the teacher that day.
Anon says
My kid does this too.
Anonymous says
Woof. Come have her hang out with my kids. I have 3 girls and they are…more confident than a mediocre white man ;). My oldest and her best friend is both pretty high achievers and they complain when paired up with boys at school because they “go too slow.” Eye roll. They have some awesome role models, such as my PhD biochemist sister in law who has her own big flashy lab at an Ivy League school. Hilariously, my brother didn’t even go to college and is a tradesman so they just assume girls are naturally smarter :).
I bet she’s parroting something. I agree to see where she got it then
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Sharing a personal “win” here.
A benefit of our incredibly early elementary start time: I’ve realized there are about ~30-40 minutes on my WFH days when everyone is out of the house and before I have to start work.
One day maybe I’ll use this to exercise (I’m not a morning person and half-awake until 9 AM or so), but right now I’m using it to do deep breathing, drink coffee in silence, journal, read – whatever I feel like I “need” before starting the day.
After a sprint of feeling overwhelmed and constantly like I was switching between hard things all the time, this feels really good.
Cb says
Ooh that’s so nice!
Spirograph says
I’m with you! Someone asked me recently why I use before-care every day when I could make my workday work with school bus or on-time drop-off. But I adore that 30-40 min of downtime. I usually go for a walk, sometimes listening to a podcast, sometimes listening to the birds. Or I make a cup of coffee & sit outside with it with a book. It’s a sanity-saver and worth the $$ for before care. (Plus, my kids love before-care, and I’m pretty sure a rousing game of soccer in the gym to start the day makes them better able to focus in school!)
Cb says
I think there’s a real virtue to early morning exercise to get the wiggles out and the exercise/fresh air en route to drop off helps me too. My son tends to be a bit mellower at breakfast club but he’s had a 20-minute cycle there.
Anon says
i need to do this instead of climbing back into bed for an extra 30 min
Vicky Austin says
haha! same.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Oh, a nap is 100% sometimes what I need :)
Anon says
does anyone else here have a Hatch and had freaking out kids last night at bedtime because of the server issues?
Anonymous says
YES. Luckily we’d left it on but there was a tantrum about “I don’t want red nightlight tonight”
Anon says
DH went to twitter and told my kids that “all the children are freaking out because the server is down” and my daughter kept repeating that all night and it was hilarious/annoying bc i just wanted her to go to sleep!
Anonymous says
Wait, the Hatch is controlled by a server?!? I thought the app connected directly to the device. I had been considering buying one but not if there are that many layers of technology = potential points of failure.
Anon says
Wait, what happened? I have two Hatches and neither set of kids objected to anything last night. Granted, the babies won’t be able to object, but I know theirs was just playing the usual white noise/no light.
Anon says
the app didnt work for a period of time to turn the Hatch on/off and to change color and sound. if you turn it on manually by pushing teh button it should’ve worked fine
AwayEmily says
YES! Chaos in our house as well.
Anon says
just a PSA, Home Depot and Michaels both have free/very low cost kids workshops some weekends
Anon says
Thank you so much!!! I consider myself really plugged into local goings-on but had never heard of these. My 5 year old has been asking for an art class, but she already has a a couple weeknight activities and is always busy on Saturdays. The Michaels’ workshops on Sunday afternoons look perfect, and free is an added bonus!
OP says
i think ‘workshop’ which is the word used by both stores is a bit of a generous term,like this past Sunday at Michaels the person they had running it didn’t do much teaching/instructing, but my kids had fun painting for half an hour for free and i didn’t have to clean up, was a bonus for me.
Anon says
Yea that’s all we’re really looking for, art projects that I don’t have to clean up. Thanks again!
anon says
Yes! My kids loved these when they were younger.
Anonymous says
If you don’t make it to the workshop but happen to be in the store later in the day, sometimes they’ll give you extra kits from whatever they were doing. Some friendly home depot employee gave my preK son a little wooden car kit leftover from the workshop, once, and son had so.much.fun hammering it together later at home. I’d forgotten about that! Now I need to check these out, thank you!
Anonymous says
the home depot ones in my area are actually crazy popular and book out months in advance!
Anon says
Thank you!! Good to know. Checking these out for my kid right now.