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These bright purple pants are on my radar because I have to go to an alumni event (purple is the university’s color) and I may actually buy the whole suit — we’ll see. I will note there are a ton of washable cigarette pants at ASOS right now. These are stretchy and machine washable, and they have side pockets, which I may sew down when mine arrive. They come in sizes XS–XL and are $72. Y.A.S Bright Tailored Cigarette Pants
Here’s a plus-size option, also at ASOS.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anon for this because SLEEP says
What’s the deal with these Dock-a-tots? People love them but they also seem to run EXACTLY counter to all the recommendations for safe sleep. The instructions say to only use them for supervised sleep, but everyone I know who has them uses them for night sleep also — what am I missing?
AIMS says
People aren’t following instructions. It’s the same with Boppy the newborn lounger. That one says to never even let your baby sleep on it. It’s all a matter of avoiding liability on the company’s part and calculated risk on the parent’s.
J says
I’d never heard of these before so Googled them. We were pretty strict about infant sleep. Crib or Pack and Play at night and Rock and Play for supervised naps here and there. If she wouldn’t nap in her crib, we often held her instead of the Rock and Play. It was a good break for the non-holding parent. And the holding parent usually appreciated the quiet time, too. We switched off. This looks like something that would benefit co-sleepers? That wasn’t something we considered, and I’m definitely not judging/trying to open the can of worms on that one, just commenting.
lala says
We are a co-sleeping family, so I purchased it to hopefully help transition my second to napping by himself. I ended up not using it because I wasn’t comfortable with unsupervised sleep in it. It was nice for sitting the baby in on something higher (before he was rolling over) to keep him protected from our toddler. But otherwise, it just acted as a fancy boppy in our house.
My friends that swear by it used it for unsupervised sleep in the crib, which really freaked me out, but seemed to work for them.
Amelia Bedelia says
We co-slept purposefully and used this to transition our babies. We would put it between us on the bed. that way, bebe was near, but no one could roll-over on her.
It was the pre-cursor to getting bebe into crib.
I loved it.
Cornellian says
I think if you’re purposefully co-sleeping (and being aware of all the guidelines, etc), it’s really only good for what Amelia describes, and (the larger size) for much older kids who like a snugger fit to sleep.
EB says
We had one and our kid really seemed to take to it. We stopped using it as soon as he could roll. It was a calculated risk.
OP says
Thanks all! This helps clarify things. I don’t think it’s for us but now I understand how/why it might be useful for others.
Career Path Help says
Career advice, please. I have an accounting background, an MBA, and currently work in higher education in an area that’s not directly transferable to a role outside of higher education, think financial aid/student billing. My job fits for now. I have great benefits, am very satisfied with my salary, and my job is NOT more than 40 hours a week. I have young kids and I am happy with the arrangement right now but in a few years when they’re in school, I would really like to not work full time. My dream would be 9am – 3pm, from home.
I imagine the only way for this to happen would be something in tech. I’ve messed around with learning to code, SQL, etc on one of those free websites and I think if I committed myself, I would master and really enjoy it. In a few years, a pay cut would be fine but I also don’t want to sell myself short, I still need to make a reasonable salary. I think tech would at least save me from that fate.
Questions for you… is this dream feasible? Do unicorn roles like this exist? Where should I focus my learning to supplement what I already do? I really like data and feel like my existing skills, background, education would be very useful in some kind of more tech, developer, or analytic role.
Thank you, wise internet friends!
Anonymous says
I think this is an escapist fantasy. And I bet if you crush it at your job for the next few years you can get a 9-3 position.
J says
And at least one work from home day which would probably make a huge difference in your life, especially if you only need to get six hours in. You could use early morning and evening time for some work to really make your day count.
Wow says
Yes, I would start by asking your current company whether you can work 1-2 days from home per week. I work from home on Fridays and it just makes the week so much better and I frankly get more done .
Also, I have friends who work from home full time and find it very lonely and isolating, even those who are not all that social to begin with. Be careful what you wish for!
Anon says
I work from home as an attorney. We had to move a few hours away from my office for my husband’s job, and I was able to keep my job. I go to the office about once a month. I’m guessing you might not be interested in 3 years of law school, but attorney work form home roles are becoming increasingly common. Much of it is contract work. I wouldn’t count out being able to work something out at your current position that might be in the middle of your dream and what you have now in order to retain the benefits, see professional adults regularly (:-/), etc.
AwayEmily says
I echo the previous commenters that you’d be much more likely to get the lifestyle that you want by killing it at your current job (and potentially having an outside offer for leverage) and then negotiating for reduced hours than by entering tech. Most people I know in tech (at least in the coding area) don’t have flexible hours, and those that do are freelancers, which comes with a whole host of other issues (having to find clients, tax issues, the fact that work comes in huge bursts rather than steadily over time, etc).
EB0220 says
I work in a technical field and working 9-3 is kind of the opposite of the coding mindset. It’s much more 24×7. When your production code breaks, guess who might have to fix it? The developer. Even if it’s at 3 am. Technical work is typically pretty production-oriented, so much more likely to have an around the clock feel. I’d stick with your current role and try to improve it. You’ll have much more equity built up than if you try to switch fields.
Pogo says
haha yup. I didn’t know people thought programmers worked 9-3??
I do have a data analyst who works for me doing ERP stuff and she works 9-4 four days a week. That’s because she works on non-mission critical items, so she can afford to just log off at 4. I think she has a bit of a unicorn role and she worked hard to carve it out for herself.
lala says
My husband is a programmer, and has had a number of different types of roles in his field. While the job is very flexible (he doesn’t have a start/end time, can always drop what he is doing to pick up the kids, etc.) it also has a lot of “on call” elements that would keep it from being a 9-3 job. Maybe if he was a consultant? But he stays away from those jobs because every company he interviews for that is in consulting seems to have terrible work/life balance.
I think it would be easier to transition to something in your current field that has more work from home elements/flexibility. While my job (I’m a JD contract negotiator at a large company) is FT, I have a few co-workers (dads and moms) who leave in time to be home for their kids to get off the bus. We have a lot of work from home flexibility, and that helps a ton.
Anon says
IT consultant and I work a minimum 10 hour day. Our deadlines are always insanely tight and I billed 2650 hours last year (including what amounts to 9 hours a day for every single day including weekends in March).
Anon says
Also I work from home when not traveling. And I work more now than I did in an office.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My husband is a software engineer. Tech is like any other professional industry in that most people still work normal hours, in the office. Maybe not in Silicon Valley, but I would imagine they work longer hours, even if they’re from home. If you want to be a true engineer, you’ll need to constantly keep up with the latest innovations in the industry, which takes time. There is a huge demand for people with coding skills though, and I would imagine you would get a reasonable/high salary, even if you come in at a more junior non-engineer position.
I hear you on not wanting to work full time! Unfortunately, I don’t think those positions are very common in this country without a massive pay decrease. I agree that you should focus on building skills at your current job, and then asking for flex hours (maybe 7-3 some days) and wfh days.
Anonymous says
A friend recently got a job in compliance at an insurance company – it’s 9-3, M-TH. In office but otherwise meets your requirements
Pretty Primadonna says
Is your friend an attorney? I would be interested in something like this in the future.
Anonymous says
She is. She was working in the legal department in small city and they consolidated legal dept in big city. She could have kept working remotely I think but was looking to lean out a bit so moved to compliance when the opportunity came up. They are still paying her bar fees though so she maintains practicing status.
FP says
I am also in higher ed – many of my colleagues who wanted the 9-3 schedule found success working at local private k-12 schools. Your billing and education experience would be transferable. Some even have summers off. This is my plan when my kids outgrow daycare – but start looking for these roles NOW!
Anon says
+1. This is what I was going to suggest. Look at your local schools if you want a school-hours schedule. Tech isn’t going to give you that.
You might also look at local hospitals to see if they have billing/coding roles that can be done from home at odd hours.
Amazon has customer service roles from home.
Remote dreams says
Okay, where do I look for remote legal jobs?
Patty Mayonnaise says
My baby will be 1 next week, which I still can’t believe!!! And I’m starting the process of dropping daytime pumping. I have found so little info on the weaning process – it’s crazy making! Baby is EBF, so on the weekends, I’ve been just feeding on demand up to this point. But how does this work as I start dropping pump sessions? He’s doing great eating solids. (I already get the feeling that he doesn’t drink as much milk on the weekends, but it’s impossible to tell…) I’d really appreciate any advice or resources on this stage! Thanks so much.
HSAL says
Cutting back on pumping was pretty easy for me when I quit at 7 months. I was pumping three times a day for 20 minutes and then the first week I just cut back to 2 pumps – 10 and 2 instead of 9, 12, and 3. The first two days I produced almost as much in 2 sessions as 3, but by the third day I was down quite a bit. The next week I went down to one a day, and after that week I was done except for one day where I was pretty engorged and needed to use the manual pump for some relief. I got my period back a week or two after I cut back, so I don’t know if those were related or not, but I think a lot of people have their supply drop around 7 months, which might have made it easier for me. Can’t help on cutting back on the nursing though; my kid was never that into it and she stopped on her own and went to formula shortly after I quit pumping. Good luck!
Cornellian says
No real advice but following for my 14 month old.
I went from 3 to 2 pumps at around 8 months, then 2 to 1 around 12 months. Now I’m getting between 4-6 oz total from one 30-40 minute session, and am starting to feel like it’s time to give up.
Have you given baby cow’s milk yet? I’ve tried mixing it in one of his bottles for daycare and he seems fine. My daycare has a 3 bottle/day schedule for the sub 18 month-ers, so he now gets 3 2 oz bottles, and once in a while one of them is half milk (since my frozen stash is gone). Soon I think I’ll start pumping for just 20 min once a day, regardless of how much I get, and then start cutting that time down.
lsw says
I don’t know if this helps, but I just…dropped pump sessions. I had been down to one for the last month anyway and was going through the freezer stash. I continued to BF morning and evening until my son was not interested in the morning. Then he self-weaned around 14 months from the night feeding. I was a little sad but ultimately it was good. He was all in on solids and just not that interested anymore.
One thing I did not expect, although I learned afterward it’s common – even with my gentle weaning, I had some crazy hormonal rage over my next two periods. I actually went into the midwife center because I felt crazy. It subsided and I did not end up taking anything, but the recommendation was to try SSRIs around my period if it continued.
Good luck and congrats! ONE YEAR WOOHOO!
J says
I started mixing BM and whole milk in my baby’s bottles and still pumped as necessary to do that. My baby didn’t like whole milk very well, so it took a few months. She started giving up the bottles/not asking for them/barely drinking them them more than taking to whole milk. That was fine – we really didn’t push whole milk. Once we got to the point that she didn’t need as much BM at school, I gradually dropped pumping until we were all done. I went a few weeks long to refresh my freezer stash. Weekends for us has been a little more mother-led. She was nursing at wake-up, mid-morning, after nap, and before bed for quite a while on the weekends after I stopped pumping. When we were out in the mornings, she didn’t ask to nurse. So we had a month long span where we ran errands, went outside to play, etc. so she wouldn’t ask and it got dropped very naturally. Post-nap has been harder. I mainly just have her dad get her up from her nap if at all possible, and that takes care of it. Otherwise, I just tell her that it’ll be time for milk before bed and get her a different snack. We still nurse at wake up and bedtime, but I’m looking to wean from bedtime nursing before summer. Maybe by May, really. I’ll probably just tell her that the bedtime milk is all gone and see what happens… She is 29 months.
Anon in NYC says
Even if you’re feeding on demand, I bet there’s some sort of schedule to the feedings. I would start by dropping the one he seems least interested in / least likely to miss and proceed from them. For my kid, that was the middle of the day, followed by the morning session, and the night session last.
Anon in NYC says
Ohhhh, I think I misunderstood and thought you wanted to wean from nursing sessions too!
Patty Mayonnaise says
Thanks so much, ladies! it’s so helpful to hear from people who’ve been there. I find this stage to be confusing. Just to clarify, though I’m ready to work on dropping pumping, I’d be happy to nurse morning and evening for as long as that works. Just confused as to how this will affect our weekends – like would I have to start giving him milk in a bottle/sippy since presumably my supply will decrease with less pumping?
Anon in NYC says
That’s what I did. I replaced the midday nursing session with a cup of milk. For the other sessions, I didn’t.
J says
I think it depends on the person, honestly. I was able to keep up with weekend daytime nursing after dropping pumping for 6+ months. I do think my child adjusted to less milk, though. I have a coworker who couldn’t do it at all with all three of her kids and had to immediately go to morning and night all days of the week. I let my daughter nurse after a nap a few months ago because she wasn’t feeling well and was pretty insistent. It just led to frustration then and at bedtime because there wasn’t enough milk either time. I’ve dropped daytime weekend nursing with her because I wanted the flexibility back in my life rather than supply issues. But now that it has been dropped, I can’t imagine I’d ever be able to increase my supply like I could during her first year.
AwayEmily says
Agreed — depends on the person and their supply. I also kept up with weekend feeds for about five months after dropping pumping (after that, we weaned completely). So did my sister. But I have friends who weren’t able to do that.
Moms Solo says
I went to don’t offer/don’t refuse on weekends when I stopped pumping–he asked upon waking and maybe once other time during the day. When little bit was good with the sippy, we dropped to morning and night, with a sippy of water during the day. Eventually I mother-led dropped the night feed and, lastly, morning feed.
Anonymous says
If you’re pumping three times a day, drop to two (3 times 20 mins to 2 times 20 mins) and give it a week. Then shorten each session by about 5 minutes. Wait a couple days and drop to one 20 min session. Give it a week. Shorten remaining session to 10 mins. Give it a week then drop that session. This should avoid clogged ducts. Slow down the process if you notice that the hormonal changes are hitting you hard.
We have a year off in Canada so it’s super rare that anyone still BFing at that point would pump at work but you can still definitely continue nursing even without daytime pumping if you want. You can still nurse morning, after work and before bed for as long as you and baby are interested. Mine were all done around 16-18 months Ancedotally most are done by 18 months – 2 years without any real effort to wean by mom. Generally the feed before bed was the last to go.
Our daycare offered milk with snacks and lunch so I didn’t bother at home. Sometimes a bottle before naptime if baby asked.
SBJ says
I slowly cut back the time I was pumping during each session (2x/day) over the course of a week. I started on a Monday and was done by Friday. By that point, LO was nursing 4x/day-waking up, before each nap, and bedtime, so I kept the morning and night nurse and dropped the nap nursing. Dropping the pre-nap nurse was a little rough and my husband had to do nap and there was shouting at first, but it wasn’t too bad. We also transitioned to one nap shortly after and that helped.
FWIW, when we did the transition to cow milk, we simultaneously transitioned off bottles to straw cups (the Munchkin weighted flexi straw ones) and that worked for us. We did the cow/BM mixing in the cup, but actually LO didn’t like the mix. Once it was all cow milk in the cup, consumption took off.
Maternity wear- last kid says
I have a ~$90 store credit to Motherhood maternity (which I believe is also good at pea in the pod) leftover from my last pregnancy. I’m 27 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. It’s my last. What do I spend this on?
I have a bunch of maternity wear from the first two pregnancies. I do need clothes but I don’t *need* anything if you know what I mean? I’m just sick of the same old “whale wear” (my term ;)).
What’s cute/trendy/in season from there stores that could bolster my wardrobe? Or do I buy an overpriced bra?
Anonymous says
Buy some really awesome stuff and then be very happy donating it once you are done :)
FWIW, I’d get a fab coat / jacket.
Anon says
Do they sell accessories too? You could get scarfs, socks, earrings and other things that will last you beyond pregnancy.
KateMiddletown says
Overpriced bras ftw. You’ll wear them after (and I love the Glamourmom tank tops.) Maybe a nice “nursing wrap” aka normal wrap you can also wear afterwards :)
LSC says
If you plan to nurse, I’d spend some of it on some nursing bras.
2 Cents says
I’m wearing one of their nursing bras right now, which I think was $15 with one of their sales. Super comfy, no wire(!), but still supportive.
Anon says
Do you see any nice events on the horizon? Maybe an occasion dress?
Anonymous says
I’d wait until you’re 33 or so weeks, and treat yourself to a new everyday dress or top (Seraphine?) that you can start rotating in when you just can’t deal with your existing wardrobe. I was so ready to burn most of my mat clothes by the end of my second pregnancy.
AwayEmily says
NURSING CLOTHES! Many people nurse for longer than they are (visibly) pregnant and yet most of us get by on like four tank tops and a couple of cardigans. I love having one or two “nice” nursing-specific tops.
mumumum says
Definitely agree with this. I wore the same 4 tops for 5 months. Given that I often had to change more than once during the course of the day the cost per wear on those tops must have been pennies.
Cornellian says
+2. My kid is 14 months old, I am still nursing, and somehow I am still just stripping my shirt off 95% of the time to nurse him.
anon says
For the past couple weeks my three-year old has started to experience major separation anxiety again. Specifically, in the mornings – she cries for mom and dad for an hour (or more!) after we leave for work, tells us she doesn’t want us to work, etc. I’d also heard from her MDO program that she’s been reluctant to go because she wants to stay home with her family.
She’s had the same nanny for 2 1/2 years and loves her. No changes to routine. Did anyone else have an experience like this? Leaving to cries of “no, mommy! don’t go to work, I want you to stay with me!” every morning is really starting to wear on me! She’s otherwise a happy kid. Oh, and she has a little brother who’s 18 months, but again, nothing’s changed there…
Anon in NYC says
Yes and no. I think most of my daughter’s separation anxiety translated to a prolonged period of night wakeups. When she would get upset during preschool drop off, we’d tell her that we loved her, but that mommy and daddy had to go to work and we’d see her at pickup. We give her plenty of hugs when we’re leaving (like 3 hugs per person). Can your nanny/the MDO program plan for something that she really loves when it’s time for you to leave? Like an art project or reading or a toy? Getting kiddo excited about something fun was one of the ways we dealt with it too. Like, “yeah, mom and dad are leaving but I get to have fun with scissors!”
anon says
No advice, only commiseration. My 3.5 year old’s separation anxiety comes at night time. She wants to be near or on me while sleeping. I would normally have strict rules about sleeping in her own room, but this just breaks my heart, so I let her cuddle with me. We also have a 6 month old and I wonder if having a sibling is making her feel like she needs more one-on-one time with me. I read somewhere (in the middle of the night) that separation anxiety is really normal at this age…
OP says
Oh, I should have mentioned, I end up crawling into bed with her every night after she comes to get me. And we do a repeated “hug and a kiss!” routine when I leave for work. So many snuggles are happening!
It breaks my heart! Thank you for the commiseration!
Pigpen's Mama says
+1
My 3.5 year old is the same way — she keeps asking me to sleep with her and has just started waking up in the middle of the night to come into our room or ask that I lie down with her. And she’s my only, so it’s not sibling related! I feel so bad that she feels lonely, but I also need to get some sleep by myself!
She’s also really clingy at daycare drop-off some days, but seems to be doing just fine when I go to pick her up.
Sorry you’re both going through this, but there’s some comfort in knowing it’s an age thing…I know there’ll be some day when she won’t want anything to do with me and I’ll miss the snuggles.
Anonymous says
Commiseration but no advice. Our just turned 3 year old has resumed clinging to me at daycare drop off, and has started sobbing how he doesn’t want to go to school (both in the a.m. and even the night before). I THINK it’s that he finally really understands that theoretically there are options (i.e., some days (weekends) we don’t go to school, stays home if sick), and also understands he can ask for things (but doesn’t really understand he doesn’t get ever he asks for). Breaks my heart because he’s actually having a pretty hard time at school right now with some changes in routine and with his own, shall we say, anger management… And I was a kid who always wanted to stay home from school myself, so i get it.
Territory Foods? says
Does anyone have a coupon code/referral link they’d like to share for Territory Foods? I think we’re going to try it in an attempt to streamline our lives and eat a little healthier. I saw they have a $25 credit for both parties if there’s a referral and it would be great to take advantage of that!
Thanks!
Anonymous says
I do! We’re huge fans. https://www.territoryfoods.com/yum/Z3SDA3
Territory Foods? says
Thanks! Just placed the order — here’s for an easier week next week!
Housekeeper ideas says
This is Legally Brunette. I posted this late yesterday so not sure anyone saw. Several of you asked how you could find a housekeeper. We have hired a college student for this role for the last several years and have been pleased. She comes to our home every afternoon to do housework (takes out recycling, does dishes, sweeps/mops, folds laundry, roasts veggies for dinner, etc.) and then she goes to pick up the kids and hangs out with them until I get home. You can’t expect perfection as she’s not a professional house cleaner, but the home looks 100% better than how it was every morning when we leave. And best of all, after the kids are in bed, I usually only have to load the dinner dishes and that’s it.
In the job description, you just need to be very clear that this is a job that entails housework. We call her a mother’s helper, since she does both chores and child care.
Anon says
Can I ask how much you pay her? Are you in a high, medium, or low cost of living area? Thanks!
Housekeeper ideas says
We’re in DC and pay $17/hr, on the books.
Pogo says
thanks! this is helpful. I was curious about how you find such a person. Local college is a great idea.
AlsoAnon says
Thank you for posting this, sincerely. I’ve spent my “Spring Break” hunting for babysitters and house keepers. Combining them makes a lot of sense.
Legally Brunette says
Happy to help! Not sure what we would do without her. :)
anon says
Where did you post this? Craigslist? Local listserv? (also in DC)
Legally Brunette says
AU Student Jobs Board. I’m sure GW and Georgetown have something similar, in case those are closer to you. Also, after we hired one young woman and she needed to go abroad, she asked her friends and we found a replacement that way.
SBJ says
Any recommendations for a toddler suitcase? Kiddo wants to bring their own suitcase when we travel and currently drags around a fire truck as a pretend suitcase. In an ideal world, we’d use a backpack, but that’s met resistance to date, sadly.
EB0220 says
We found some kid-sized roller bags at Target in the clearance aisle. My kids love to drag them around the house. We took them on a car trip as well. I’m not sure they’re sturdy enough for plane travel, but for all other purposes they’ve worked well (and were $5)!
Pigpen's Mama says
We’ve got a character suitcase from Target — my 3 yr old can pull her own for a decent while when we’re in an airport, which is great -in my family once you were over 6ish you had to carry your own suitcase.
I’m thinking about getting a Trunki, because it would be nice to have the riding feature. The JetKids looks amazing, but is a little more than I’d want to spend, especially since we don’t take 3+ hour flights regularly.
Anon says
I hated the Trunki. It’s really small so doesn’t hold much, but big and awkward if you have to carry it. It doesn’t turn well, so it’s really hard to navigate in an airport. And it tips over really easily. I got rid of that thing after the first trip. I haven’t looked into the JetKids so can’t compare, but I’m OVER the ride-on suitcases.
I got a 2-piece luggage set on Amazon for each kid, and that plus a backpack has proven to be the best option. http://a.co/gCKlMIS
They can pull the roller or we (most often) use straps to hook it to ours when they get tired. For car trips or longer airplane trips, we use the tote to pack toys and snacks. For shorter airplane trips, we skip the roller and tote and just use a backpack to hold a change of clothes plus toys and snacks.
EB0220 says
+1 to Trunki hate.
lala says
We do a lot of international travel with the kids, and finally splurged on the JetKids bedbox suitcase. No reviews on how it actually works on the airplane (our first trip with them will be next week, yay!), but the kids have been rolling around the house on them and they are awesome. Sturdy material, sturdy wheels, and clearly designed with quality in mind.
If you don’t travel often, I wouldn’t spend the money on it. But if you do, might be worth it!
Anonymous says
Can you report back with how it goes? I’m super interested as I have three kids and upcoming international travel and have been asking for real suitc cases. I’m terrified that I’ll get stuck carrying all their carry ons as usually they are only allowed a super small backpack with a stuffie and a water bottle. The ipad/toys/clothes/snacks go in my carry on.
Butter says
This thing looks amazing. Please do report back after the trip!
Pogo says
I looked it up and was like, Omg I want an adult sized one so I can be cozy on a plane!
And then I realized, that’s business class. What you want is business class.
lala says
Haha, yes, what I want is business class, instead my kids are getting it, isn’t that parent life for you? I am secretly hoping to use it as a foot rest once they fall asleep.
I will definitely report back once we get back from our trip!
J says
PB Kids has some stuff.
Hiking gear recs? says
All, we have some upcoming trips this year where I want to do some hiking with the toddler in tow. Nothing intense, and definitely no overnights, just some 2-3 hour out and backs. Does anyone have recs for carriers? We haven’t used one since he was little, and I’m not sure whether to go the serious hiking carrier (think Osprey or Deuter) route, or the soft structured carrier route. Both trips will also involve planes, so portability is important. Hiking is kind of new to me, so am happy to take all recs.
lsw says
We’ve only done hiking in the woods around my parents’ cabin (so, 5 miles or less) but have used our Lillebaby carrier with ease for that. It’s the same one we used since infancy.
Pogo says
I’ve only hiked with baby in the Ergo, because he was too small for the Kelty (similar to Deuter/Osprey). Recently husband had him in the Kelty for a walk as a test drive. I think for me I feel like the Kelty is safer, because they’re in a harness, and it should theoretically distribute the weight a little better because it has a frame. But kiddo will be heavy either way!
I’ve seen people with kids in hiking carriers at the airport and I’m not sure what they do with it. I wonder if you can gate check? It’s probably too big to be a carry on.
Cb says
We got out the hiking backpack to try recently (killing time on a snow day) and baby loved it. I need to figure out the backcarry on my boba as I think he’s ready to see the world.
Anonymous says
Just a heads up that usually you can’t backcarry in carriers including soft structured carriers like the boba until they are able to sit independently plus are at least six months old. I actually found front carries the most comfortable until baby was about a year old.
Cb says
Good advice! Baby is 7 months and sitting like a champ so I think he might enjoy it. He’s 18 lbs so I’m finding him a bit heavy on the front for long periods.
Pogo says
I like frontcarry too, but I can’t see around his big ol head now! Which didn’t work well for hiking. I think you really do need to backcarry for hiking, whether soft structured or frame carrier. Otherwise I felt too nervous I would trip on something (giant rock, roots, etc).
Side carry worked well in the wrap for a short walk but again, not great weight distribution for hiking.
Baby Pogo is over six months and can sit up, but I still think he needs some time to ramp up to the Kelty. I wouldn’t start out with a 3 hour hike.
Anonymous says
We do tons of hiking. I love my Toddler Tula but DH swears by the Deuter external frame. It’s personal preference. If there’s a baby rental company in your local area I’d rent a few and try them out to see what you like.
We usually start with Toddler walking and then put him up when tired.
lala says
We swear by the toddler tula. While we don’t use it for hiking, we use it for traveling and walking around large tourist cities. It’s super packable and very comfortable to wear (both my 45lb 4yo and my 25lb 2yo). I previously used an Ergo for the 2yo, but found the toddler tula much more comfortable and better designed for the bigger kids. My husband equally loves it (yes, we have two, ha).
The downside as compared to a hiking backpack, is the sweatiness between you and the kid. But we think this downside is worth not having to pack something so large. Plus the Tula can be used really easily in an airport.
AlsoAnon says
We did a short hike with some friends in SD and borrowed their Deuter Kid Comfort II for our 11.5 month old. DH wore it and loved it. DH is big (6’2″) LO is small ~17 lb. The hike lasted about 2 hours (we probably only covered one mile of flat terrain). I really loved the canopy, which helped him nap for most of the trip. It also has enough pockets and zippers for all the baby gear you need: bottles, snacks, a blanket, etc. I’m not sure about flying with it – seems like you can gate check huge baby gear like strollers so this should be ok to gate check as well.
avocado says
We loved our Deuter hiking backpack. It was much cooler than a regular carrier, and you can attach a sunshade. We tried the Deuter and the Kelty in the store and preferred the Deuter because baby’s center of gravity was lower and closer to the adult’s back. In the Kelty, baby sat higher up and farther away from the adult’s back, and I felt much less stable. The Deuter had an adjustable torso length that worked well for both me (small frame, medium height, long torso) and husband (large frame, tall).
EB0220 says
We used a Dueter hiking backpack when kid was little, but it was SO HEAVY. Pros are: the sunshade is nice, everyone stays cooler, kid has a pillow to rest his head, there is some storage space. Cons are: Heavy and takes up a lot of space on the plane. Also the seat is narrow which seemed uncomfortable after kiddo was over 1. We retired the Deuter after our kids turned one and used our toddler Kinderpack with mesh after that.
avocado says
We used ours until kiddo was almost 3 and insisted on walking. When I say “insisted,” I really mean “screamed loud enough that I was afraid the rangers would hear and think there was an emergency.”
Anon says
We bought a used kelty off craigslist. It fits my husband very well, but doesn’t fit me at all (i’m shorter and short waisted) so that may be a concern for you. Although I’m not sure we could find a framed one that actually fit both of us. DH doesn’t mind carrying toddler around. We haven’t used it a ton so I’m glad we bought used. When we flew with it, we just checked it.
Anon says
The Osprey Poco AG series have an awesome feature where you can adjust the height to fit people with both short and long torsos (there’s something like a 6-inch difference between the shortest and tallest settings). We’ve found it works really well for us for sharing kid-carrying.
Anon says
We have both soft-sided carriers (Tula) and hiking backpacks (Osprey) and love them both for different things. Back-carrying in the Tulas is quite comfortable and we’ll use that for short walks or when visiting cities since they’re less bulky. For longer hikes we generally go for the Ospreys for the reasons mentioned above (cooler since there’s more airflow between kid and parent, sunshade, and storage space.) Since we have twins, the storage space bit is really crucial for us, because both parents are carrying a kid on their back. With a singleton, I imagine it could work pretty well to have one parent with a backpack full of lunch and water and the other parent carrying the kid in a ssc.
Since you’ll be doing plane travel to get there, I’d recommend the ssc route, just because they’re so easy to use in the airport and then squish under the kid’s seat or in the overheard compartment.
LegalMomma says
We love our Deuter! We’ve used it even just walking around the woods at my parents house – a necessity since the 15mo old is nearly 26lbs. He loves it and goes in willingly, it does a great job of distributing the weight and is adjustable so works for both me and my husband who is extremely tall. There is also decent backpack space that will hold diapers/wipes/drinks/snacks.
Anonymous says
Our 38 lb 3 year old is pretty comfy to carry in a toddler kinderpack. The actual hiking carriers are much less comfy.
AlsoAnon says
1 y/o woke up screaming last night. Not crying – screaming. It took an hour for him to fully calm down: I put him back to bed awake but calm. He was fully awake; reached for me, held his bottle, so I don’t think it was night terrors. He only has two teeth, so it could be teething, but he’s never reacted that severely before. He would stop for a while and then start up again. I don’t think it’s the usual culprit: an ear infection, because he just finished antibiotics yesterday, and he didn’t cry more when I lay him down like he usually does when it’s his ears. He was still asleep when I left for work this morning, which is unusual. Any advice or anecdata? Take him to the pedi?
mascot says
If not a night terror, could have been a bad dream that he was still processing. Babies don’t have a lot of communication skills or fully developed emotional regulation so screaming may have been his only option for working it out (fun, right?). We had a couple of those incidents. I’ll probably wait and see how he does tonight before calling the doctor.
AlsoAnon says
Thanks. I don’t want to overreact but I also don’t want to wait four days and have the pedi say “um why didn’t you bring him in?” He has a followup appointment for his ear infection next week.
Anon in NYC says
Do you have an update on his behavior? How was he this morning when he woke up / since then? Unusually fussy/sleep? If he seems off, I would call the pediatrician and see what they think. If otherwise normal, I would chalk it up to a bad dream or just a bad night.
I sometimes don’t want to seem “silly” for calling the doctor for something that turns out to be nothing, especially because I’m generally healthy and rarely need to see a doctor outside of my annual appointments, but I always remind myself that my kid can’t tell me if something is actually wrong or not, and it never hurts to get a professional opinion!
AlsoAnon says
DH and day care both said he seems normal and happy this morning. DH thinks it was maybe a night terror, since we’re shaken up and LO seems fine. If everything goes ok for the next few nights I’ll still mention it at his followup appointment next week with pedi. Thanks for asking!
Anon says
Can anyone out there who works in “compliance” explain to me what her job looks like? I am currently in litigation at an insurance defense firm and I spend a lot of time daydreaming about job alternatives. I have realized that I really don’t know what compliance is exactly…
Anon says
Why is it in quotes? Compliance is an actual thing that people base their careers on.
I’m not in insurance, and I’m on the regulator side of things in my industry, but its a lot of reading the rules and determining whether or not your organization is following them. And creating/modifying processes to ensure you are compliant. It’s also keeping up with rule changes and educating those in your organization about them. Depending on the industry, you may even have the opportunity to comment on the rules while they are in development.
Anon says
Uh, I was definitely not making a judgment on what compliance is. I was using quotes because I know it is a broad field and I know nothing about it but I see the term used all the time. Admittedly, I am probably using quotes in the wrong way but please don’t assume that I was making a judgment when I am actually trying to learn about it.
Anon says
Not a lawyer, but work with legal teams on compliance from time to time.
I think it’s actually a very broad term, so many industries need to comply with regulations! My work touches on product compliance, usually environmental. The people from the compliance team interpret the law for me and explain what I have to do to comply. They keep me up to date on what different countries require so that my business can sell my products there. They also create internal standards and initiatives to stay ahead of regulations, because they are SMEs in our industry as well as in law.
It’s also very important in my role when I write contracts. Usually someone from compliance separate from the GC’s office has to look it over to make sure anyone we do business with is going to comply with the laws for our industry and we’ve spelled that out appropriately.
AlsoAnon says
I’ve only brushed up against compliance (think – writing work requiremnts to satisfy compliance laws) but it seems pretty fun. IANAL, but I really enjoy organizing, project planning, and understanding processes. From my limited knowledge I say go for it!
Em says
My mom used to have a compliance job at a university. She didn’t have a legal background, but primarily ensured that anyone doing research had received the proper training and certification. I am an in-house attorney and handle some compliance work for my company that mainly consists of staying informed about major regulation that will impact the company and coordinating with the business teams to make sure we are compliant with and properly implementing new regulations.
Anonymous says
IANAL, but work in IT compliance, so making sure IT systems support financial and privacy law compliance, mostly. The lawyers I work with regularly are interpreting the law and advising on contract language and overall strategy. my piece is primarily practical discussions on how to implement solutions that substantially meet requirements (as outlined by the lawyers) both from a tech and process standpoint. Then there’s the audit side to test controls and verify compliance. It is a pretty broad field, and I think a legal background could be very helpful even in positions that don’t explicitly need a JD.
Anonymous says
I could use a gut check: My sister in law is graduating with her PhD in a little over a month. My husband and I have a new baby who will be just over 2 months old at the time of her graduation. The graduation is in a city that is ~5 hours driving distance from us and the graduation is in the evening so an overnight stay is definitely required. My SIL and I are civil but not close and she hasn’t gone out of her way to show up for my life events (e.g., she was a bridesmaid in our wedding, at my husband’s insistence, but didn’t attend my shower or bach party). I think my husband should go by himself and I should stay home with the baby. The idea of traveling with a baby at this age is really intimidating and I don’t think my presence will add anything especially since I will have to take the baby out of the ceremony if she fusses, which seems fairly likely. Baby will have just received her first set of vaccines but will not be fully vaccinated, which also makes me a little uncomfortable having her in such a crowded place. My in-laws and SIL have all visited us and met the baby and we will also be bringing her to my husband’s cousin wedding this summer where she’ll meet the entire extended family and see my immediate in-laws again. My in-laws are all acting like I’m an evil person for even contemplating skipping the graduation. My husband really wants me to go (mostly so his family doesn’t scream at him, I think) but says he’ll go along with whatever I decide. Thoughts?
Em says
If it was me, I would have sent my husband alone, primarily because I wouldn’t want to deal with the hassle of it all. I gave myself permission to be selfish for the first three months after giving birth, and am happy to give you the same permission if it will help.
Anon in NYC says
Same.
HSAL says
Yep.
lala says
+3
Meh says
As someone with a SIL that I’m friendly with, but didn’t go to any showers for and vice versa, who traveled with a two-month old, and has a PhD, but only went to graduation because my mom wanted to go — I’d skip it.
I doubt your SIL will really care if you’re there, frankly and a five-hour car ride with an infant sounds horrible.
Anonymous says
I think you should definitely go. It’s not that far, it’s not that hard, and it is important to your husband.
Anon says
Wow, I think we read totally different posts. Five hour car ride with a two month old seems pretty far and very hard. Also, bringing a not fully immunized infant to a crowded graduation seems like an unnecessary risk, especially when the OP seems anxious about going.
Anonymous says
I’m not quite at “definitely” but if you would be going except for the baby thing, I think you can definitely still go and have this not be such a dramatic issue. Traveling with a 2 month old is not that bad. They don’t have a set schedule, chances are good they will sleep the entire car ride, and they can easily be worn/carted around during the ceremony. I honestly thought traveling with a less than 6 month old was so much easier than traveling with any other age. (Unless they have colic, and in that case my advice should totally be ignored and you should skip… but you won’t know that until they’re here…)
Anonymous says
This really varies. I went with a 2 month old to a graduation 3 hours away. My kiddo hated the car seat, screamed the entire 3 hour trip, resulting in me crying too… it was do-able (I did it) but it was also really hard.
Anon in NYC says
Yeah, my kiddo gets dramatically carsick. Vomit everywhere. Learned that at 4 weeks.
Legally Brunette says
Absolutely skip it. Two months and a long drive and a crowded graduation are all elements ripe for a stressed out mom/dad and baby. Not worth it at all. If you need an “excuse” the issue of immunity and not having all her shots yet (in an extremely large crowd of people) is the best because it’s truthful and harder for your husband’s family to rebut.
If it were me, I would have my husband go and then fly in my mom to help out for the week!
anon says
if you want to blame it on someone else, say that your pediatrician does not recommend traveling right after her first set of vaccines in case baby has a reaction and since baby is not fully vaccinated does not thing such a large event would be a great idea. then take a picture of your baby with a sign that says congrats and send it to her during grad weekend and send her something else that weekend or the week prior – if they are going out to dinner somewhere you can have flowers delivered to the restaurant or a special dessert, or even send something fun like an edible arrangement or cookie cake to where she lives.
Cornellian says
+1
Wow says
My sister had a 1 month old when I had my law school graduation, and did not attend. We’re very close and this graduation was very important to me (I was first in my class), but of course I understood that it was not practical to bring such an infant to a large ceremony. If your SIL is reasonable she should understand.
I’m kind of surprised you’re getting pressured to go. My parents would be saying the opposite – don’t go because you’re risking the health of a newborn.
AwayEmily says
Can you propose something else that recognizes what an accomplishment this is but doesn’t require you to travel with a tiny baby? Like, say that you want to take her to a fancy dinner to celebrate when you all are in the same place for the cousin’s wedding?
NewMomAnon says
I’m going to ask a different question – how do you feel about being home alone with a teeny infant for 48 hours straight? Because that would have tipped me in favor of tagging along, and just hanging out by myself with baby in the hotel room during the graduation ceremony. At least then you have another adult to help with night wakings, diapers, etc. And with a tiny baby, they don’t really have a “routine” yet so you aren’t disrupting anything by traveling.
FWIW, I did a few car trips with kiddo when she was less than 6 months old; I rode in the back with her and had pumped milk or formula in bottles, so I could feed her without stopping. Otherwise she slept.
Anon says
That’s a really good point. I wonder about going but picking and choosing what all you and baby participate in. Like maybe you skip the ceremony but go to dinner with the family, etc.
Anon in NYC says
As a counterpoint, my husband had to travel for a week when we had a 6 week old and it was hard but doable. At least I had the benefit of being home, and having all of my/her stuff, and having a general routine.
Butter says
I wouldn’t go just because I don’t like sitting through graduations, nevertheless PhD graduations which are even more disjointed and awkward (are masters students included? Is it the whole school/division/professional area/university, or just the field?) The dissertation defense is the big deal. I barely went to my own PhD graduation, and I’d say less than half of my peers went as well.
Beyond all that, I too am of the mind that within the first 3-5 months you get a pass on most things.
Anon says
+1 Why do so many people care about attending graduation ceremonies? Earning a PhD is a big deal and absolutely should be acknowledged but graduation ceremonies are no fun.
Blueberries says
I wouldn’t go and decent chance my husband wouldn’t go either, even for someone we both adored. My kids didn’t sleep well at night at that age and HATED car rides, so taking a long family car ride would have been out of the question. Even one of us driving for so long wouldn’t have been a super idea.
Maybe talk to the pediatrician about the risk? If the pediatrician says crowds of that size are too risky, then it might help with the family politics (but people who insist that parents of a newborn drive 5 hours might be unreasonable no matter what).
Anonymous says
Another vote for skipping. I didn’t go to my brother’s law school graduation when LO was 2 months old either. Had plane tix and hotel room (and 6 addl adults in the family who were also traveling and could help out) but still was not going to happen IMO. I could see myself getting to the ceremony and then having to stand outside the entire time bouncing a crying baby.
Anon says
Looking for some commiseration I think. Thinking about how great life would be without my law school student loan payment. Like maybe I could afford the housekeeping help described above a couple times per week. I’m sure I could make it work if it was a priority. The student loan is an easy target. And law school has enabled me to make a larger salary that way more than covers my payment when compared to my pre- law school job’s salary. Maybe I’m just complaining about being an adult?!?!
I’d love to see a post with budget breakdowns (percentage or actual amounts) from readers and higher earners. Maybe even something like the Week in the Life. I Google this a lot, but it’s tough to find sample budgets for higher salaries. It’s mostly geared towards fairly small total budgets.
Em says
What do you consider high salaries? I would be willing to post our budget (combined income of around $150k). We live in a LCOL area and paid off $80k in student loans in 3 1/2 years on a lower salary (around $$125k at the time). We got it paid off before we had our son, so our budget didn’t include daycare during the paydown. Daycare essentially replaced that line in our budget, because the payments were about equal at the end.
Anon says
I would say anything above $100k, which seems like the cap on a lot of guidance, although it is very possible I haven’t looked hard enough. Really I’m more interested in the $125k – $200k range. We probably should have paid off my loans more before our child was born. But we decided our priorities were to (1) max out 401ks; (2) save a 20% down payment for a house; and (3) save six months of expenses for an emergency fund. We’ve done/do all of those, so paying off my student loan debt is our priority now. But honestly it seems so daunting – around $57,000 that it is a little unmotivating. I’m really not very materialistic, but we are ready to upgrade our house and my car in the next year or so. I’m having a hard time not comparing our prospective purchases with those of lots of friends who don’t have student loans and don’t save to the extent we do. Now that we have the goals above taken care of, we’ve decided that at the end of each year, we’ll take what we have in savings above our emergency and vacation funds and allocate more to my loans and charity. That worked well at the end of 2017 and should work okay going forward. I must just have a bad attitude today.
Anonymous says
Figure out your fixed costs – housing, childcare etc. and put everything extra you can spare against the loan and you can probably pay it off in two – three years max.
Anonymous says
I managed to pay them off pretty quickly by not upgrading my life after law school. Basically upgraded my work wardrobe to a professional level via Jcrew sales and socked everything at my loan. If you can eat away at the loan early you’re not accummulating as much interest and the whole thing goes faster.
Try one of the low salary budgets and just sock all your extra dollars at the loan. It is the best feeling to have it paid off. So freeing.
Anon says
I don’t disagree with that strategy. But we moved to a higher cost of living area after law school for my job and then my husband and I agreed on the three priorities above. I went back to law school a little later than most, and it wasn’t really fair to him to put other financial priorities on hold even longer because I went back to school. So that’s the mutual decision we made.
Anonymous says
I’m not saying it was the wrong decision. My DH and I just came to a different decision. He’s super debt adverse so there was no way he’d work on saving for a house until my loans were gone.
The point is to take a really hard look at your expenses. If it’s only $57, 000 you can probably buckle down and do ‘less’ for a couple years and have it paid off. Lifestyle changes can be hard to maintain long term but might be something you could do short term. 57K is only about 1600/month over 36 months.
Anon says
Makes sense, and I probably should. Even though I bring this up, we really are good about budgeting, etc. My husband doesn’t love debt, but he loves saving more than he hates debt. It’s emotional for him too, which is odd because he is a super logical, mathematical guy. The six months of expenses is my cap. He’d go on forever having our money not work for us in a bank savings account if I let him. Basically what I say to him (very regularly) is anything above that amount has to be earmarked for a particular purpose or we’re doing something else with it (loan repayment, giving, special purchases, extra 529 deposits, etc.).
anon says
Here’s mine from last year:
Combined Gross HHI: 175k (150k if you don’t count stock from MegaCorp employer)
Taxes: 25k
401ks: 15k (low due to stock compensation that we don’t plan on touching until retirement)
Educational savings for kid: 2k
Daycare for 1 kid: 10k
Mortgage: 20k
Utilities, Insurance, Phone: 13k
Groceries & Restaurants: 14k (yes, I’m appalled too)
Travel: 6k
Gas, car maint, car pmt: 6k
Charity: 3k (sad)
House repairs & Maint: 7k
Other Junk- clothes, hobbies, gifts : $18k
Everything else: extra slush in our checking and savings accounts.
anon says
Our fixed household costs are around $6000/month with two kids in a MCOL area. We each have some individual expenditures that are kept separate (403b contributions, drinks out with friends, lunches, savings, clothes, etc). Combined Gross HHI: $165k
Approx Monthly Budget:
Mortgage: $1300
Utilities: $350
Daycare for 2 kids: $3k
Groceries & Restaurants: $1k
Kid Stuff + Incidentals: $350
We aim to save $5k/year/kid in a college fund but we also usually pull this from our individual accounts. We have a good emergency fund and solid savings but month to month feels crushing with $3k in daycare costs.
Anonymous says
This may be a long shot, but are any c-moms at the ABA EEO conference right now?! I’ll post again in the morning to try to catch more folks but thought it was worth a shot!