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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 115 Comments · by

Washable Wednesday: Summer Wrap Dress

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

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Print Work Dress: Boden Summer Wrap DressBoden is always a good place to hunt for machine washable workwear, and this pretty wrap dress is even on sale. The neckline is low enough that I’d wear a camisole with it, as well as probably some Skimmies underneath for modesty (if not a full slip). The dress was $128, but is now marked to $76-$89 depending on size and color. Boden Summer Wrap Dress Here’s a plus-size option. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. HSAL says

    We skipped Feeding Tuesday, but I have a question. When do working parents feed their babies solids? Baby HSAL is 5 1/2 months and we’re starting solids soon. Right now she nurses when we wake up in morning, takes 3 bottles at daycare, we nurse at her bedtime, our bedtime, and then 1-2 times during the night (she’s had some weight gain issues so I’m choosing food over sleep for now). I’ve read that you don’t want solids to replace breastmilk at this point, but I can’t figure out when we should give her solids. Evening makes the most sense for clean-up, but I don’t want her to eat too much and not nurse at bedtime. We get home between 5:00 and 5:15 and bedtime starts around 6:45. Morning would be nice because her first daycare bottle is late and she’s not always interested in nursing when she first wakes up, but seems like that’s asking for a mess. Thoughts? Eventually we’ll probably have daycare do some, but for the first couple months I want it to be at home

    • HSAL says

      Slight correction – bedtime starts around 6:30, but no later than 6:45.

    • By says

      Not an expert but I’m exactly where you’re at – baby in daycare, just started solids at 5 1/2 months (and she’ll be 6 months next week). I stressed over this too, but in the end was just so tired/busy that I started offering her some of whatever veggie I was eating at dinner — as appropriate of course, and mashed/pureed/thinned with breastmilk. So no matter what our breastfeeding schedule, whenever hubs and I sit down for dinner, baby girl gets a couple tablespoons’ worth of food. I consider it practice eating at this point. And I haven’t noticed an impact on her willingness to nurse later.

      I’ll be interested to hear what others have to say, because I’m not sure what comes next after this phase!! Making it up as we go along.

      • By says

        Oh. And I have read all kinds of things too that say what I’m doing is not ideal. You’re not supposed to give new foods in the evening in case of a reaction overnight. You are supposed to feed her right after breastfeeding so it doesn’t replace breastmilk. Lalalala — I can’t coordinate all that. Suspect nobody can.

        We also have given ‘prepared’ baby food and accidentally started with Stage 2. It went fine anyway. Just add that to the list of things I’m doing wrong…. Glad baby girl is a good sport about these things.

      • anon says

        This is pretty much exactly what we did starting around 5.5 months. I think baby had just that one “meal” for several weeks or a month, and then we added solids at breakfast, and maybe a month later he started getting lunch at daycare, then eventually also afternoon snack (as milk went down).

        • Syd says

          We did the same gradual ramp-up. Experimenting with different solids at dinner time, then adding in some oatmeal at breakfast, then daycare started giving him solids at lunch time. My baby was on the same schedule yours is HSAL, and I never noticed a decrease in his milk intake until much later on. Also, I understand wanting to start solids yourself, but I did find our daycare provider to be a great source of knowledge about starting solids (and about many infant parenting questions!). They’ve done this a few hundred times! That depends on how much you trust your providers of course.

        • MDMom says

          Yep this is what we did too. Also… You don’t have to choose baby led weaning or whatever philosophy exclusively. Its not an exact science. My baby loves purees and baby oatmeal. He also loves finger foods. Some babies hate being spoonfed. Others take a while to get used to “chewing” finger foods. Taking 3 days to introduce every single new food is pretty much impossible (you wouldnt finish until kindergarten). I did a lot of overthinking at the beginning too. Just experiment and see what baby likes.

          Now Im at the equally confusing point where baby is eating a lot of solids and cutting down formula. Still basically just muddling through.

    • JEB says

      We started solids at 6 months, and my baby wasn’t terribly interested. I’d try one thing in the evenings (banana, avocado, etc.) and usually tried new stuff on the weekends. We skipped the rice cereal type of stuff. I’d give her some with our dinner, and it didn’t stop her from having b-milk before bed. In the mornings, she’d get b-milk first followed by solids (with varying levels of interest)

      Honestly, it was daycare that ultimately got her eating solids. Maybe it was the peer pressure, added variety of foods, who knows!

      I know people have mentioned it before, but the wholesome baby foods website is a helpful reference.

      • MomAnon4This says

        +1 to babies on their own terms.
        Daycare was terribly worried that 2nd son wasn’t eating enough – they were force-feeding him purees.
        He just wasn’t into food. We’d cut and dice and put it on his tray starting at 6 months, after milk (breastmilk and/or formula at that point – I’ve heard “food under 1 is just for fun”).
        He started getting into it around 7 months, later than 1st son, who’d been watching the food from table to mouth at 4 1/2 months or so.

        We did “Baby Led Weaning” book – not about weaning from milk or breastfeeding, but about starting table foods. We have no serious allergies in our family, FWIW

    • EP-er says

      Have you talked to daycare about what they recommend or how they usually schedule solids? We weren’t in daycare until 18 months, so I don’t know how my center handles that. Food at this age is really just practice. You can look into baby-led feeding, where you skip the cereals and purees — that might work better for your schedule. (baby just eats — or gums — what you are having.)

    • Anon in NYC says

      My daughter is 10 months, has a bedtime sometime between 7-8 (averaging around 7:30), and we get home from daycare around 6:30-6:45 most days. We started solids at around 6 months, at dinner time. Our pediatrician said to start with fruits and vegetables, so that’s what we did. We fed her almost immediately upon getting in the house (so say around 6:45), and then we let her play/digest for about 15-20 minutes and then I would nurse her before bed.

      I think this worked for us because we fed her only small amounts of food to start (maybe around a tablespoon in total) so she didn’t get too full and we gave her time to digest. My husband and I also don’t have food allergies so we were not as concerned about that. If you are concerned about food allergies, I’ve heard that introducing new foods on a Saturday when the doctors office is open is a good idea. I struggled with introducing breakfast after a few weeks because seemed like much more of a schedule disruption, but it eventually worked itself out.

      • Anon in NYC says

        I’ll also add that my daughter still drinks 25-30 ounces of milk per day, so even though we’re now up to 3 meals and snacks, it seemingly hasn’t slowed her down at all.

        • Lkl says

          I was really wondering when our always-hungry baby would slow down on formula. At 10 months he hadn’t — still 30 oz. And then poof one day around 10.5 months he just didn’t clamor for that 5 pm bottle anymore. And then stopped finishing some bottles, which had NEVER happened. He was down to 20 oz by a year and we’re working on cutting down a little further (he would be fine with that except that we’re having some… issues getting him to drink water).

    • Carrie M says

      At that age, we fed table food around 5ish during the week. We didn’t have an issue with her rejecting milk after that. I’d say try it and see how it goes – you could always stop feeding at that time if it’s messing up the rest of your schedule. (But maybe it would mean dropping a MOTN feeding!)

      Sometimes we have her half of a small jar of pureed food, or a small handful (her handful size) of puffs for her to try her pincer grasp on, or a soft veggie/meat/beans. On the weekends, we’d try new foods in the morning so we could watch her for any reaction. During the week, we tried to stick with things we’d already “tested” on the weekends, though after a while we became more comfortable letting her try what we were eating if it wasn’t a super allergic food.

      When we did eat at the same time as her, she LOVED to eat off of our plate. We tried to do that as often as possible (but it’s hard during the week!). At around 8/9 months, her interest in food increased more and it finally seemed to me like she was replacing some milk with food. Our doctor told us 1 serving size for her is 1 handful size (her handful), so we tried to give her that much for breakfast and dinner, and we were able to bring in meals/snacks for her at daycare.

      Good luck!

    • HSAL says

      Thanks all, this is helpful. We usually end up eating dinner after she goes to bed, but maybe I’ll try to have an easy dinner ready some nights so she can “join” us for dinner. I’m definitely interested in the baby-led weaning/table food, but we have a terrible diet and I want better for her. :) The pediatrician just said to skip rice cereal so we were thinking of trying oatmeal cereal, but maybe we could try fruits/veggies instead and add cereal later on when we add a second meal. I’ve got some purees and then I was going to try sweet potato, avocado, and smushed peas. I’ll have to check out the website suggestion.

      I definitely trust daycare, but I want to feed her at home to get to watch her try new things. I know they’ll start feeding her whenever we want her to, but good idea to get suggestions from them.

      I’m certain I’m overthinking this but it’s good to hear what others have done.

      • Anon in NYC says

        We just can’t eat dinner with my daughter. It’s a lovely idea in theory but we’re rushing around from the second we walk in the house until she goes to bed, and only then do we have time to make dinner for ourselves. So we’ve decided that weekend lunches are our thing.

        • MDMom says

          Yea we can’t manage it either at this stage. I do often have a snack while he eats dinner so we’re kind of eating together.

    • grey falcon says

      True confessions: we outsourced almost all of the initial solids work to daycare. We tried things for the first time at home in the evenings or on the weekends, but at some point (6.5 mo?) told daycare that all fruits and vegetables were fair game. Obviously not something to do if you have specific reasons to be concerned about allergies, etc, but otherwise with two working parents, who has the time?

      So we do: B(reast)F(eeding) in the morning (b/w 6 and 7). When kiddo gets to daycare at 8.30, they feed her some version of food for breakfast and follow up with a bottle. They do lunch and bottles throughout the day. Then when we get home (around 6.15), we play for a bit. Around 6.30-6.45, we do some dinner– usually either some mashed up cooked veggies or premade baby food. We then BF just before bed (around 7.15-7.30). Doing some dinner hasn’t seemed to impact her desire to nurse in any way.

      YMMV, of course, but our experience has been do what makes sense for your family and don’t worry overly much as long as you’re happy with the trajectory. If it’s the mess holding you back in the mornings, maybe don’t put baby in clothes until after breakfast. If it’s just wanting to get the routine going, why not start with the weekends when things are less time-pressured. Also remember that advice on babies and food varies WILDLY: my friends in France are told that after 6 months if the kids are eating enough solids, they only need three bottles a day (total) and a serving of yogurt. If you and your kid are happy, you’re not doing it wrong.

      • Meg Murry says

        We also mostly outsourced it to daycare, mainly because I was just barely pumping enough milk and I was hoping solids at daycare would help fill in as he got more active and wanted to eat more – and because I basically didn’t have time to feed + clean up the mess in the evenings.

        Our routine was to start a new food at some point during the day on the weekends (usually around lunchtime) and give it for both Saturday and Sunday. If no reaction, we’d add that to the running list of “ok for my kiddo” foods to daycare, and daycare would feed one puree a day or puree + cereal. That was our routine until around 9 months when kiddo learned to self feed a little more and we would have him eat with us at dinnertime.

        The phrase our lactation consultant used all the time was “food before one is just for fun” – the bulk of baby’s calories will probably still come from breastmilk and formula for a while, not food.

        Oh, and +1 to not getting baby dressed before feeding. We waited until it was warm enough to just feed our kid in a diaper and bathe afterward instead of trying to keep clothes clean.

    • Anonymama says

      Don’t overthink it, as far as food v nursing, or replacing breastfeeding, or all that. In your situation, I would try giving purées at home in the evenings. Also, I would sometimes give baby half a bagel, a pizza crust, a big chunk of Apple, or a watermelon rind with a bit of red on it just to gnaw on while I got dinner ready, and to get baby used to different tastes and textures. At this age the amount they actually eat can vary a ton, and really the exposure to things is way more important than the actual amount of food consumed.

    • ChiLaw says

      We started solids a little late — closer to 7 months. We started by pureeing things with water, spoon feeding, and then soft soft solids like avocado and steamed sweet potato and very ripe banana for her to feed herself. We started initially on weekends, trying a new food every Saturday in case of a bad reaction (?) but then it seemed too slow so we just kinda did whatever. She ate dinner with us pretty consistently, which meant the grownups’ dinner had to move way early, like 5:45. We did a lot of crockpot food because that was easy for her to eat, and most likely to be ready in time. Initially we just treated dinner for her as something for her to do while we ate — not instead of nursing or a bottle. But around 12 months she started really ramping up her requests for food, and “meals” started replacing bottles, and now, at 14 months, she basically nurses twice (first thing in the morning and last thing before bed) and eats real food for everything else. I definitely overthought it.

      I’m happy that she feeds herself, but honestly I kind of miss spoonfeeding. It was so much easier to keep her clean when she let me feed her!

  2. East Coast Attorney says

    I would also like to see suggestions on this topic. Our daughter is about the same age and has the same feeding schedule (but with a 7-7:30 bedtime). We haven’t started solids yet, although we would like to very soon (she’s a good sitter, seems very interested in food, and based on her more frequent night feedings, could probably use the calories).

  3. Six says

    Thanks so much to everyone who weighed in on the six thread yesterday. Really appreciated the encouragement/honesty/perspective!!

    • no interest says

      I was late yesterday but had a similar question. I am 15 months pp and stopped nursing at 12 mo. I haven’t had any interest in six whatsoever, basically since I got pregnant. I kept telling myself that it would get better after my hormones regulated, after I healed, after I stopped nursing, after I lost weight, etc. But all of those things have come and gone, and I still have no interest. We have six maybe every 6 weeks (and only if I’ve had a few drinks). My husband is being incredibly patient, but I know it’s getting him. Should I get checked out by a doctor? Any other suggestions? My body/chemistry is presumably back to “normal” but my interest is gone with no signs of returning, and I’m getting frustrated.

      • Anonymous says

        The postpartum period is actually 3 years — your body won’t fully recover til your baby is 3. Growing a human is a TON of work. Raising a human is a TON of work. Love up on your husband however you can, and if he’s being patient, just be grateful. Don’t push yourself, don’t make it an issue for yourself. It’ll happen.

      • Anontoo says

        Make that an 19 month old and only nursing til about 9 months and I’m in the same boat. Although my husband isn’t always patient — I know it’s hitting his ego hard. It’s partly body image and mostly exhaustion. I want to be interested, I’m just not. And even when we do get it on, the ‘big O’ is elusive to say the least..something that wasn’t a problem before.

        I have thought about asking for a Rx for an antidepressant that supposedly enhances libido (Welbutrin), since I am also feeling a little bit of low-level depression/anxiety.

      • Anonymous says

        Kiddo just turned two and I’m so much less interested than I was. We still manage about 2x per week, but it’s an effort for me. Worse, my husband not only needs action to feel loved, he needs me to want it myself as much as he does. (Why he doesn’t see how that’s similar to me wanting him to do half the house/child work without being asked is beyond me.) So I not only need to get myself into the mood, I have to pretend that I was in the mood all along. What I get out of it is a happy and affectionate husband who, incidentally, is much more likely to notice the dishwasher needs emptying or to grab the really crusty pot to scrub himself. But, yeah, it’s just one more thing on my to do list. I wish it weren’t.

        • Anonymous says

          Oh, I feel you. I have a 3-yo and a 15-mo. I do enjoy it, but it’s hard to get… motivated. I’m just always so tired and never really thinking about it, whereas I have a million other pressing things on my mind. I sort of treat it as a chore… but not really in a bad way, because in the end we enjoy it and our relationship works better when we do it regularly? Also, lol at “(Why he doesn’t see how that’s similar to me wanting him to do half the house/child work without being asked is beyond me.)” — I think if I said that to my husband, he might cry, but it’s spot on :). Glad to hear that so many of you are feeling the same way. Was starting to wonder if there was something off with me.

  4. Sleep schedule? says

    Reading these comments about eating has me now thinking: my baby is on a different sleep schedule- is this okay or am I a terrible mother??

    Baby is 4 1/2 months, we generally go to bed at 10/11, baby wakes up to eat at 5 and 7, then wakes up for the day around 8:30 or so. This means I get some solid sleep and get morning time to shower/dress myself/etc. Baby takes usually a short (90 min) morning nap and then naps for at least 3 hours in the afternoon in a row- often with another snooze later in the afternoon.

    I feel like I should be putting baby down earlier, but right now this schedule is so nice because I get to spend awake time with baby and also have a long stretch of afternoon time to get stuff accomplished during. My instinct is that baby is happy, healthy and growing like a weed- why fix what’s not broken.

    • CrimLaw Mom says

      You’re schedule is fine, and it sounds similar to what my son was doing up until four months when he hit a sleep regression and we did sleep training with a bedtime at 7ish. Like you said, don’t need to fix what’s not broken. For us that “breaking” was a sleep regression! Enjoy what you’ve got going on, it sounds great!

    • HSAL says

      I think that sounds awesome. It’s similar to what we did before I went back to work, though she’d usually end up sleeping in the Moby in the evening. Once we started getting up for the day at 6:30, there was increased evening fussiness (we called it d!ck o’clock) so we experimented with her going to bed earlier, and worked our way back to 6:30 as the ideal time, tweaking a little bit on either side to account for how well she did/didn’t nap at daycare. It’s definitely tough to only spend 2 1/2-3 awake hours with her during the week, but she’s much happier (girl loves a schedule) and I get a chance to spend alone time with my husband.

    • POSITA says

      My 2.5 year of has been on a similar schedule her whole life. She doesn’t go to bed until around 9 PM but takes a great, 2-3 hour afternoon nap. We love having the time with her in the evening. She’s happy, rested and thriving, so we’re not going to change it until it stops working.

    • anon says

      If it works for your baby, don’t change it! The baby will let you know when it’s not working anymore. At some point he or she will probably want 10-12 hours of sleep at night, so you’ll end up with an earlier bedtime, but believe me, you’ll know when it’s time.

    • By says

      That’s our schedule. (Prob why we are able to have dinner together). Hubs does daycare dropoff so it works. Every couple weeks I try to “fix” her bedtime and put her down by 7:30. She just screams til 10:30. I’m a slow learner…

  5. CrimLaw Mom says

    Any advice for pumping while in a jury? No one in my large government office has that special experience. We currently have a private workroom in the courthouse I use (on a non-courtroom floor) and judges that let me use an empty chamber for pumping. I generally aim for every two hours and stretch to three when I really can’t get away from the bench. It takes me 20 minutes sometimes to letdown due to stress. Baby is almost 7 months and has been EBF.

    • Anonymous says

      Bring the outfit baby wore yesterday, to smell. Bring videos of baby to watch on your phone — even videos of baby crying can help your letdown. Bring something to hug (a stuffed animal if you can). Good luck mama, you’re doing awesome!

    • Meg Murry says

      In a jury as in you are the lawyer for a jury trial? Or as in you have jury duty?

      • CrimLaw Mom says

        Whoops, should have clarified! I’m a prosecutor, putting on the jury.

    • LSC says

      Sounds like you’re doing everything you can, but the suggestions about photos/videos are good ones. Music might also help you relax. I’m 100% supportive of BF-ing and did it all exclusively myself for a year, though in hindsight I am not sure I’d do it that way again. So, if this just becomes too hard, give yourself permission to supplement with formula as needed. What you are describing is incredibly tough, and the important thing is really that your baby be fed in some way and that you are able to be happy and healthy too. The female body is amazing–you can still BF mornings, nights, and weekends if you end up dropping a day-time session or two. Best of luck!

    • RDC says

      I’ve heard of watching funny videos (cats, whatever) as a way to relax. Maybe try meditation? Keep your shoulders covered / make sure you’re warm enough.

  6. I'm an allergy zombie says

    Any secret allergy-management tips for pregnant ladies? I’m dying over here. My congestion isn’t so, so bad but I get a lot of headaches and today it’s like I can’t wake up. Usually I’m on a pretty strict regimen of nasal sprays and pills that I can’t take and I’m just miserable!

    • Drugs says

      I took Claritin and Tylenol as needed… Would saline sprays help? I tend to use mine like a neti pot to try to clear out my sinuses.

    • Anonymous says

      I was told that the “older” antihistamines are safe to take during pregnancy. I used reactine as needed. (When not pregnant I take one every day from April to November basically).
      Here is a link to a very reputable article- this is basically the organization (mother risk) that Canadian doctors rely on to give info about what is safe for pregnant and nursing women:
      http://www.motherisk.org/prof/updatesDetail.jsp?content_id=927

    • Sarabeth says

      Rhinocort is category B, as are Claritin and Zyrtec. Netipot might also help.

      Much sympathy from a fellow pregnant lady with hayfever.

      • OP says

        Thank you – it is the worst! I’m usually on allergy stuff all year round so the winter was tough but now it’s just hell. I will try to amp up the saline spray and be rigorous about zyrtec nightly. I miss being able to pop a Sudafed (the behind the counter kind) and feel better in an hour. Thank you all for the suggestions!

        • Whitney says

          Local honey! I take a teaspoon a day and it works wonders (only for spring allergies in my experience)

    • Elle says

      Nasal rinse like a neti pot. I have one that is more of a squirt bottle type that I prefer to the pot but YMMV.

  7. More Solid Qs says

    Triggered by the thread above on solids – did anyone ever experience their baby wanting lots of solids and not so much bmilk/formula? Baby is on formula now and around 5.5 months. Having trouble getting him to finish his bottles or sometimes even take his bottles though he seems to love his purees and sometimes cries for more when he’s had about 2-3 oz. Just stressing that he’s not getting enough milk calories during the day…

    • Meg Murry says

      Are you feeding purees then bottles or bottles then purees? Try offering a bottle first before purees. Have you stepped up the nipple size? He may be impatient with how slow bottles are.

      Otherwise, he might just really love food. One he moves beyond purees, you can make sure to give him watery fruit so he isn’t dehydrated, and avocados and/or meat cooked in oil to make sure he is getting enough fats.

    • anon says

      I would just check with your baby’s doctor about whether it’s enough milk. It may well be! I think ours told us 22-30 oz at that age, but based on your particular baby, the ped might think a different amount would be fine (particularly if he’s eating things like yogurt). Our baby also loved food and ate huge quantities even at that age.

      • Whitney says

        Agreed – my ped said we should drop ounces sooner than the average based on how my son liked them

    • MDMom says

      How long has this been going on? My baby is like this when congested. We give a lot of milk/formula mixed into cereal or purees when that happens.

    • Anonymama says

      He might prefer the taste of purées to the taste of formula. A friend always struggled to get her baby to eat enough formula, and once she switched to cows milk at a year, she gobbled it down, and she realized that the baby just didn’t particularly like the taste of that formula. Can you try mixing the formula in with food? But also, unless the baby is having weight gain issues I wouldn’t stress out too much about exactly how many ounces he has. He will eat if he is hungry.

  8. Anonymous says

    Sleeping advice. You’ve all given me advice before and it is improving but my daughter is tough.

    She is 5 and a half months old. We have been doing sleep training but we are still having a couple of issues. First, if I am in the house, she will not nap unless she is exhausted. When I am home, she wants to only nap with me and will cry for 25 mins unless I nap with her, or we give up. If I am not home, she will nap without crying (and sleep anywhere from 30 mins to an hour and a half). Not sure what the solution is for when I am home on the weekends. I have a toddler who I also want to spend time with, and while I love sleeping with her, cannot do it all the time.

    At night, we have made drastic improvements — out of the rock and play and into the crib, nurse and rock her for 20 minutes, rouse her a little, sing her a song and put her down drowsy and awake. She does one stretch in the crib with no crying until anywhere between 11-1, and then I let her in the bed. After nights and nights of trying to nurse her in her room and put her back down, and having her scream for 30 minutes, I’ve given up on this for now. Dream feeds also do not work for her. It is bizarre, but this just seems to make her want the bed and I cannot get her back after a dream feed.

    She still will not eat a lot during the day when I am gone (12-15 ounces only), and nurses constantly when I have her in the bed, so I am assuming she needs the nursing and I should just live with this for now. Our pediatrician did sign off on sleep training and told us 5 months was the perfect time for it, but I’m not sure if there are more steps I can take to get her out of the bed. The book we used for my son says that night waking is different than initially falling asleep and she will get there eventually. Just let it go for now? Thanks in advance.

    • Anonymous says

      I suggest the book “Sleeping Through the Night,” by Jodi Mindell. It addresses all of these issues (bedtime, night waking, naps), and tells you how to work from where you are to good sleep habits in each of these areas, one at a time. It’s been awhile since I read it, but you want to ditch the night nursing if baby is gaining weight appropriately and put baby to sleep always in her own bed and not in your room. She’ll make up for it during the day if she needs more calories. The book walks through exactly where to start and step-by-step how to progress. It’s worth it’s weight in gold. Available on Amazon. It also addresses toddler and adult sleep issues.

    • Anonymous says

      It sounds like she is really craving the physical contact with you. Do you babywear? I have twins but one of them is super focused on physical touch so I just put him on my back in the Ergo as soon as we get home from daycare. He stays there until he gets in his highchair for supper and then straight to bed. He sleeps much better on the nights when he’s had a lot of physical contact with him during his waking hours. I find the back carry doesn’t get in the way of making supper/playing with the other kids. YMMV of course!

      Could you leave the house to spend time with your toddler on weekends? Even a walk around the block. You said baby naps well when you’re not home so maybe take toddler out for quality time instead?

      • Anonymous says

        Sadly I’m not home long enough before bed to do this. I do think this is what she is craving. More working mom guilt for me :(

        • Anonymous says

          Even if it’s 20 minutes of being up it might help. Sometimes when we get home late my guy isn’t up for long but I do find it still comforts him. I think when he’s on my hip he’s always worried I’ll put him down so he’s more tense but if he’s in the carrier he relaxes more. At a younger age I did front carries a lot too. Would she nap in the carrier on the weekend? Annoying that you can’t put her down but I could still read books and do crafts with toddler while baby napped in carrier.

          YMMV of course and don’t feel guilty – you’re doing great and you’ll figure out what works for your family.

    • MDMom says

      About the night feeding, our pediatrician told us that at a certain age, if you think they still need to eat at night, they will prove you right…as in basically if you offer the option to eat at night, they will take it. If not, they will eat more during day. That said, at 5.5 months, I don’t think eating 2x at night is unreasonable. Mine still ate at 1 and 4 at that age, but went back to sleep easily. It seems like your baby is nursing constantly in the wee hours and I doubt that is a nutritional necessity. I have had success gradually weaning off night feedings (the 1am at least) by offering less and less. But to do that even, you need to get to fixed feeding times after the first wake-up. That may require some version of leaving her in her room and letting her cry. If you continue to offer the buffet option in the middle of the night, she’ll probably continue to take it. You’ll have to decide which is the lesser evil for you, and there is no right or wrong answer. Good luck.

      • Anonymous says

        Yea, I’m ok with nursing 2-3 times at night, but it is so hard getting her back into the crib. I think keeping her in the bed might be the lesser evil.

        • MDMom says

          Having read your post again, one more non or minimal crying suggestion. Try further separating nursing and bedtime. For us, it’s bath-nurse-sleepsack-books-song-bed. If you get to the point where she doesnt fall asleep while nursing, the rest may start to work itself out. And you’ll have a better idea if she’s really hungry vs just can’t fall asleep without nursing.

        • Anonymous says

          Have you ever considered a Montessori style floor bed? If you have space for a twin bed you can nurse her in her bed and leave her there to sleep.

          Unless you’re willing to skip her night feeds (which it doesn’t sound like you are) it’s the only thing I can think of.

    • Anonymama says

      Did you just let her cry for 30 minutes each time and then go get her? She has learned that if she cries for that long, then mama comes and she gets to nurse and sleep with you. She has to actually go to sleep in her crib (both for naps and night wakings) or letting her cry is pointless. No judgment, I did the same thing, and baby still wasn’t sleeping through the night for a year. So, I told myself I had to either let him cry all the way to sleep, or just go get him within 10 minutes.

    • Anonymous says

      Are you willing to do some cry it out? Not sure if I recommended this when you posted before, but if so the Facebook group “expect to sleep again- sleep training support” would probably be very helpful. I know a lot of moms in it have transitioned from co sleeping.
      Sleep training does not necessarily mean no night feeds. You can sleep train and have baby in the crib to sleep all night and still get up to feed once. In this group it’s usually recommended to pick a feed window (often 12-4) and feed once if baby wakes during that time, and then use your chosen sleep training method for any other wakings.
      If you have any interest in sleep training I would definitely do it now (ish). It will only get so much harder once she is more mobile.

  9. No more diapers, please! says

    Ladies, any toilet training advice? I am at the end of my rope. LO just turned 3 and still wears diapers. We’ve moved a bit to pullups, because she prefers them, but she still uses like a diaper so it’s really no different. I am beyond frustrated. I hear girls are easier and she is impossible. She’s in daycare and I really thought (expected frankly) they would handle based on my friends’ experiences. But no dice. They sit her on the toilet a couple times a day, but she does nothing, and then they put her back in a diaper. Do I just need to break down myself and do it over a weekend? Any resources anyone can point to? I feel like we’ve tried them all…

    • kc esq says

      Wow, to be honest, I don’t know anyone who outsourced potty training to daycare. I guess we’re in the wrong daycares. Lucie’s List wrote up a weekend potty training strategy that I plan to implement in a few months.

      • No more diapers, please! says

        That’s interesting. Every single person I know has been (a) alerted by daycare that it was “time” and then (b) had daycare really spearheading the process. I mean, I don’t frankly understand how it couldn’t be daycare that leads it – she spends way more time there than at home. I’m a but paranoid about the “bootcamp” style training, as I hear it leads to issues with “holding it” in response. But maybe I need to try?

        We’ve tried the Elmo books, other character books on it, and the Daniel Tiger episode. She can sing the songs and recite the book, but doesn’t want to pee.

        • MomAnon4This says

          Relatedly, try salty snacks + juice (+ diet Coke for you) = sitting on the potty every 45 minutes and lots of cheers when she goes. She needs to get used to the feeling of wanting to be dry. So, she will need to have some accidents to feel wet in order to want to feel dry. Accidents aren’t a sign of failure, they’re a sign of learning.

      • Spirograph says

        My daycare spearheaded potty training. It is one of the many reasons I love them.

        We kick-started with a weekend of no diapers, no pants at home. Put the potty in whatever room we were playing in or brought it out in the back yard with us, and asked regularly if he needed to go. I think the idea is that kids don’t like the feeling of pee running down their legs, so they get the idea pretty quickly. In our case, it worked great.

        • OP says

          Thanks for this. It sounds like maybe I should just count what’s been done so far as good ground work, and do a pants-less weekend bootcamp.

          • Spirograph says

            Yeah, I read the bootcamp idea in a John Rosemond book that called it “naked and $75” (the $75 being what you pay for carpet cleaning afterward). We actually didn’t have too many accidents at all, and no carpet cleaning required. :) Son had been happily peeing in his little potty before putting on his pjs, but still wore pull-ups during the day (daycare required pull ups for his class) and we hadn’t really made any effort to change that. So your groundwork sounds similar — hopefully you’ll have good success with the bootcamp method, too.

            I think I’ve mentioned here before, but every few months our daycare peer pressures all the kids who are around 30 months old. On a given Monday, the kids just switch to underwear and bring in lots of extra pants, and I guess the teachers just rotate them through the bathroom on a continuous basis? Son had a handful of accidents and we had to remind him to go at first, but he’s not quite 3 now and will stop what he’s doing, unprompted, to use the bathroom. It’s glorious. The rare occasions he has an accident, it’s because he’s outdoors and can’t get the door open… because he does really wait til the last minute to decide. Honestly, I was shocked at how fast and easy it all was, but 90% of the credit goes to kiddo’s teachers.

          • OP says

            Honestly, Spirograph, that was more of what I was expecting (daycare laying down the law). That’s what most of my friends experienced (unfortunately, all at different centers). I think my child’s current lead teacher is just really laissez faire about it, which is super frustrating as she has the 30-36 month old kids. Oh, and did I mention that despite not working with her really, daycare won’t move her up until she is trained? Which is so.not.awesome.

            As I’m writing this, I’m wondering if I should be looking at other places…

    • MomAnon4This says

      Go to the toystore with kid. Browse for big, expensive, plastic, ugly toy (for my son it was a light saber).
      Bring it home. Put it somewhere Kid can see it, but up high – in the bathroom, on top of the TV, in the kitchen.
      Don’t mention it until kid stares at toy… “Oh yeah, that. That’s for big girls who fill up their sticker chart by going on the potty.”
      If you see the toy on a commercial or in the wild (with other kids) talk up those big kids who must have filled up their sticker chart by going on the potty!
      Fill up the sticker chart.
      Give toy to child. Even if it’s right before bedtime and the child will promptly have a tantrum in order to stop playing with toy.
      Yay! You’re halfway there (not kidding. I swear it took us 2 years to potty train… a year to get to the underwear stage and another year to end accidents)

    • Lyssa says

      Can you think of anything that she really likes that you can only offer as a reward for going? My son was resistant in a similar way, and he loves to watch videos on the iphone and ipad, so we wound up completely restricting it except as a reward for going. It took a few weeks, and I felt bad saying no when he asked for it (but not that bad, since it’s not like he really should be using those), but then it clicked. We did the same thing for pooing later. I would imagine that every kid’s different, but maybe a candy treat, a new toy that she can only play with after going, etc, might work.

    • NewMomAnon says

      My daycare suggested we do a weekend in underpants, and if she was generally dry, they would kick the potty training into high gear. So we skipped pull ups (except for a little false start a few months earlier) and went straight to undies. My kiddo really doesn’t like the feeling of wet underpants, and we have a little dance we do after a successful potty trip, so she has been highly motivated.

      This weekend she wasn’t feeling the potty training though and asked to wear diapers – she rarely asked to sit on the potty and had many wet diapers this weekend. Monday morning, back in undies for school and she has been dry all week. I think you’ll be more successful if you ditch the diapers and pull ups (if kiddo is interested), know that you will have messes, and just go with it. If kiddo is not interested, wait a bit longer.

      Also – my ped encouraged us to skip the bribes with potty training, and make the excitement of potty training its own reward. It was a very meta approach to raising a toddler, but it has worked.

    • TBK says

      Haven’t tried it yet but recently bought the “Oh Cr@p!” book for my two year old twins. I’ve heard really great things about her method. A lot of it is potty training boot camp-like, but it seems to work. Good luck!

      • Anonymous says

        +1 for Oh Cr@p! It’s an e-book. Worked so well. To give credit where it’s due, I think my kid was also particularly awesome at potty training and is sort of a camel. But, I would definitely recommend this book. Try to reserve a weekend when you have no plans and you or your partner can take one or two days off work. Not the most fun way to spend a long weekend, but totally worth it, in my experience. Good luck!

    • Anonymous says

      we started training just before 2, and told daycare what the deal was. We took a 4 day weekend (labor day!) and did the fill-her-full-of-liquids-take-off-pants method and sat her on the toilet every 10-15 minutes. Accident? “oops!” Pee in potty? HUGE CELEBRATION AND FANFARE!!! She didn’t require bribes at that stage, but your 3 year old might get into it a bit more if she got an M&M or some stickers after peeing. Poop took more like 1-2 weeks, and I did have to hose out 5 or so pair of underwear.

      We also read several potty books– it really clicked for her.

      She was trained on the concept (pee in potty, not whenever you feel like it in pants) by the end of the weekend, and it took about another month or so for her to proactively, without prompting, tell us she had to pee. But we were able to do a “hey come try the potty” every 2-3 hours or so and she was dry in between.

      She had a major issue peeing at daycare that we still don’t understand. She was rock solid at home and in public (kid used a port-a-potty without batting an eye!) but would hold her pee the entire time she was at daycare, until she had an accident. As in, would sit on the toilet for 10 minutes and not go, 3x per day, until she peed all over the floor/herself at 4pm. It was awful, the teachers were frustrated, I was frustrated…and frankly, nothing fixed it. What happened was we took her out of town for the week and when she got back it was like someone hit the reset button- and all was fine with peeing at daycare.

      • Anonymous says

        I should say that we totally skipped pull ups. She was either in a diaper, underwear, no pants, or pants + underwear.

        • TBK says

          Our preschool doesn’t allow pull ups. Two year olds can be in diapers, but pull ups are not allowed. Three year olds must be in underpants.

    • Anonymous says

      Buy a calendar. Circle a date and tell your girl on that day she’ll be a “big girl” and use the potty. Count down the days each night. Buy special presents she can’t have until she’s a “big girl”. Buy special underwear, and then on that day, get rid of the diapers and pull-ups. Sing songs and act like a crazy exited person each time she uses the potty. Encouragement and excitement really work.

  10. lucy stone says

    How many items should I have on a baby registry? I am fortunate enough that I am having a family shower and a work shower, so I want to have a lot of small/inexpensive items for people who can’t or don’t want to spend a lot, but I also don’t want to seem greedy.

    • HSAL says

      Luckily, baby items are often cheap. I truly don’t think anyone will notice the number of items when it’s things like bath toys and burp rags. Even if you had a bunch of expensive things, I would probably just assume you put it on there for the completion discount, not that you expected me (as a guest) to buy it for you. Don’t stress. If someone can’t find something they want to buy you on the registry, they’ll buy an outfit or a book.

    • NewMomAnon says

      You’ll be surprised how many people combine into a group and get one big present. My office gave me a really big gift certificate at the store where I did my registry, even though there were lots of little baby items on my registry. It was awesome; we put it toward our glider, which was one of the most useful items we bought for baby.

      But no, I never think a new parent seems greedy with lots of little things on their registry. There is so much stuff marketed to new parents, and they have no way of filtering it yet. I would be more worried that you are going to end up as the proud owner of a bunch of little things that you then have to store or dispose of once you realize you don’t need it or want it.

    • Anonymama says

      Register for all of the things. For baby registries, so many people just use them to keep track of the things they are going to need, and expect that they can buy anything not gifted using the discount, that I can’t imagine anyone judging the number of items in your registry.

    • Clementine says

      Yeah, register for more than you think. I was shocked at how generous people were. If anyone questioned why we put big things on the registry, we were prepared to answer that it was for the registry discount. Nobody questioned it though!!

      We put minimal clothes, toys, and books on our registry as people will buy those for you whether you register for them or not.

      Unsolicited advice: (Mostly Big) Registry Things I love: Cyber Aton 2 Carseat (recommended by y’all!), Guava Lotus crib, City Mini GT, Keekaroo Peanut Changer

      • LC says

        The Keekaroo Peanut Changer!!! Is so awesome!!! Every time my LO pees while I’m changing him — which is often — I am thankful I got that changer and not one of the ones with a cover.

  11. Anonymous says

    Anybody with boobs bigger than a C cup (at normal weight) have luck with Boden?

    • Anonymous says

      36D/DD and have had good experiences – though I never can wear any wrap dress without a camisole under it, and same goes with Boden.

  12. back arching says

    My 4 month old has always done a lot of extreme back arching. He doesn’t really seem distressed (and is in fact a happy, relatively easy baby), and it doesn’t seem feeding related (but who knows…).

    I’m concerned it could be a sign of something developmental. I really should not have started Googling, and I now have wised up and made an apppointment with the ped to evaluate and discuss.

    Anyone here with an extreme back archer have any insight? Again, I am seeing a doctor soon, and recognize that I’m stressed and exhausted, so just looking for any reassurance or things to ask about.

    Thank you!

    • MDMom says

      Maybe reflux? I heard babies with reflux do this to help keep stuff down. Mine did this and he spit up a lot. It never really bothered him though. We waited it out and it finally stopped at like 9.5 months. He doesn’t arch his back any more and I think stopped that earlier, around when he started sitting on his own at 6-7 months.

      • TBK says

        Wow, not on point, but I had totally forgotten my kids had reflux as babies. Right now, I can’t even remember if it was just one or both, or how long it lasted. Just for all you in the weeds of early babydom, some of these things that were all-encompassing when your kid is an infant, you realize you can’t even remember just 2 yrs later.

    • NewMomAnon says

      From what I’ve heard, you would know if it’s feeding related; babies with reflux are not happy. Do you have a gut feeling that something is “wrong”? I’ve found that when I have that gut feeling, I’m right (although I don’t often know what the problem is); when Google convinces me that I should worry about something that I hadn’t previously worried about, it’s usually no big deal.

      My kiddo was extremely curious and wanted to be part of everything even as a tiny baby, so she twisted and arched and craned her neck all over the place. She was so spastic that I kept raising it with the pediatrician, who would smile and say that everything was fine. And it was. I hope your ped can either give you some concrete things to watch for, or a similar level of comfort.

      • MDMom says

        Not always. My baby was what our doc called a “happy spitter.” He spit up a lot (and had other reflux that he just swallowed) but it didnt bother him. Bothered me a lot on account of the laundry…

        • NewMomAnon says

          I had a happy spitter too – since she was happy, we didn’t do anything about it and she just grew out of it. She was a master at spitting up right into my nursing tank. So gross.

          BTW, I realized way too late that my kiddo was spitting up so much because she was comfort nursing, which led to over-eating, which led to spitting up (her) and oversupply (me). If I had figured that out earlier, I probably would’ve drawn a harder line on comfort nursing.

          Yeah, gut feelings in the first 6 months are such a crap shoot. I was sure that my daughter was autistic, had cerebral palsy, had colic, etc. Turns out, she was completely within the spectrum of normal but not what I had expected in a newborn. Also, I have a much better understanding of my specific brand of anxiety now. Live and learn.

      • OP says

        Thank you for this. I always have gut feelings and they are often wrong. Baby is a good eater/grower and usually a joy. He definitely looks up and over backwards to see light sometimes but that doesn’t explain all of the behavior.

    • Sam says

      No advice on back arching.
      Some unasked-for advice on mom-worrying. :) From a fellow worrier.
      Is this your first? There are many many things that will seem to you to be worrying, (fever over 104! red rash! not talking on schedule! all night throwing up! unknown strange unexplained nonstop crying! pinkeye? rubbing tummy or other body part and crying! kid fell and bumped his head and crying!) and of all of them, only a very very small proportion (or none) will end up being something real. In the moment, we are all stressed and that magnifies our fears and worries.
      One thing that helped me (and I really only got better at it with second kid) is being a bit more breezy and under-reacting to these things a bit.
      So, good luck! It will most likely be your 4mo expressing his personality or trying out a new skill!

    • Anonymous says

      I’m late to the party, but my daughter was an extreme back archer (and I worried a bit about it). She’s now almost 2 and doing great. She did have some reflux. I know this isn’t worth much, they’re different kids. But sometimes it helps to hear that someone else went through something similar and came out fine on the other side. Talk to your doctor and relax if everything is fine.

  13. Anonymous says

    I’m pregnant with my second girl and received a very generous $250 gift card from my officemates. What would you spend it on?

    We need a new monitor (stopped using ours when kid #1 was 18 months and we broke it), I’m considering a double stroller, and I want a glider. I’m not sure I should get ANY of those things from babies r us, which is where the GC is to.

    I’m also thinking of getting a new kid carrier- I have a Bjorn that I used a bit with #1 but I hear babywearing is the way to go when you have more than one. Plus, I’ll have a spring/summer baby vs my midwinter baby.

    • Anonymous says

      I only have one, but I love my video monitor so hard. We still use it even though LO is 3 and in a big-kid bed. I would totally use it for that – probably one of the ones with multiple cameras and one screen so I could have one for both kids.

      Assuming you want a double-stroller, I think buying from BRU is just fine. They literally have every brand there except maybe Bugaboo, so there’s no quality issue in my experience. They don’t have the best sales, so you’re likely to find it cheaper somewhere else, but with a GC that may not matter as much. How old is your oldest? I can’t imagine a double-stroller being worth it if there is more than a 3 year age difference, but I’ve got a firm no-rider as my oldest. I’d probably go single with a running board or stand option.

      • Anonymous says

        What monitor do you have? We had a $300 summer video one and it crapped out on us THREE times!! They sent replacements each time but it meant we were without a working monitor for a week each time. And the range was awful- we got “out of range” in our 1000 sq ft home!! We now have 3000 sq ft plus an outside so I need serious range.

        • Anonymous says

          I have a Motorola. The battery is long since gone, but as long as it’s plugged in it is great. No range issues (also 3000+ home – it will even work outside on our porch).

      • Clementine says

        They do price-match AND they accept competitors’ coupons. They also don’t *always* read the exclusions on the coupons.

        Signed, I also got a BRU gift card and used it to buy tons of BabyJogger stuff (supposed to be excluded) with my Buy Buy Baby coupons. I used my Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons at Buy Buy Baby.

        I’ll admit, I’ve actually grown to really like BRU as they seem to be about $1-2 cheaper than BBB and have a not-terrible points program.

      • Anonymous says

        Older kid is 2.5, and gets tired on outings (we do a lot on weekends) and really likes having a stroller. I was thinking of a sit-and-stand but figured I’d wait till baby was born to see how it all plays out.

  14. In House Lobbyist says

    Car seats? Convertible car seats? That is what we did with a similar amount from co-workers.

  15. Daycare Gifts? says

    Shoot I hope I’m not too late to get input on this. Tomorrow is the birthday of the daycare director where my kid goes to daycare. This is the first such birthday I’ve been aware of. They asked us to write her a card for an art project, but should I also be getting her… a Starbucks card? Something else?

    Making it weirder, the daycare is on site, through a third party, and I supervise their contract, so in a practical, budgetary way she reports to me. Does that change things?

    Also, she is delightful, but I don’t think she has a ton of one-on-one time with my kid.

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