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I am seriously obsessed with Alexis Bittar’s new collection of lucite, labradorite, and gunmetal accents, and I’m loving this fabulous bib neklace. It’s wearable in pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond… it’ll fit you when nothing else will, and it’ll draw more attention to your face (and away from any bust/stain issues you may or may not have elsewhere). It is, sadly, $445 at Nordstrom. Alexis Bittar ‘Lucite® – Imperial Noir’ Link Statement Necklace
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
JJ says
I love, love, love, love this necklace for, like, $100. Full price? Not so much. I shall covet from afar.
Katala says
Me too. Love love love SO much. My fave color, statement but not too bulky and it seems like most statement necklaces are covered in giant obviously plastic or fake crystals. But this is gorg!
Would love to find something remotely similar in the $100 range.
NewMomAnon says
That reminds me – I’ve seen necklaces for mom to wear while baby is nursing, and I’m thinking of buying one. Anyone have experiences positive or negative? My kiddo likes to scratch and pinch me while nursing so I’m looking for a distraction!
Also, love this necklace. I would even consider paying that for it if I got a big bonus…which probably isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
KJ says
I’m interested to hear about this too.
Spirograph says
I didn’t have one (although I should have. When I was nursing, my chest and arms perpetually looked like I’d gotten mauled by a small racoon), but one of my friends did and thought it was the best thing ever. Hers was a long strand of big turquoise cloth-covered beads. It was cute, and if she hadn’t raved about it constantly, I would never have guessed it was “functional.”
hoola hoopa says
I like that idea. Friends love their silicon bead ones, but they aren’t my style.
FWIW, my scratching nurser hated anything else in the area. I wasn’t even “allowed” to have my hair down, lol. Definitely worth a try, though.
Burgher says
I have a chew beads necklace. Not really my style (I don’t like chunky or over-sized jewelry much), but they are somewhat stylish and are washable. I’ve gotten compliments without people realizing what they were. It was great for distracting baby / teething.
Anon S says
Wow, that’s a REALLY hefty price for a statement necklace.
On another note, when did you (if you’re already a mom) or when are you planning to (if you’re pregnant) tell your employer about your pregnancy?
FVNC says
I informed my manager at 4 or 5 months, I think closer to 5. After the initial congratulations / small talk about how I was feeling, etc., we discussed my rough plans for maternity leave. I had not prepared a formal transition plan for who would cover my work while I was on leave; that was sorted out over the next several months. My manager would not have been prepared to talk in that level of detail during our initial meeting anyway, since for some reason my announcement seemed to really surprise him.
JJ says
For my first, I told around 15 weeks. Just an initial “Hey, FYI, I’m pregnant” kind of meeting. We didn’t get down to the actual details of transition of work while I was on leave until I was 8 months or so.
For my second, 12 weeks. I was showing earlier and I wanted people to know why I was so tired and sick all the time.
KJ says
I told my boss around 14 -16 weeks, I think. It was such an awkward conversation.
Spirograph says
I didn’t tell until around 20 weeks with either of mine. I waited until I felt like people were looking skeptically at me, and brought it up at a staff meeting in the manner of “FYI, I will be out of the office for these 3 months.” My job is not such that anyone needs a ton of advanced notice to plan or transition work during my maternity leave, otherwise I might have told earlier. I hate having to discuss my pregnancy, so the longer I can keep that topic off the table, the happier I am.
My (huge) company tries to encourage people to tell HR as soon as possible by offering a stupid raffle every 3 months for all the women who are known to be pregnant. The sooner you tell, the more chances you have to win! *eyeroll*
NewMomAnon says
As a counterpoint – I was so worried about telling “too soon” that I waited much too long and everyone knew before I told, which was embarrassing. I was showing at 12 weeks (actually, probably earlier) and waited until 14 or 15 weeks to tell. In retrospect, my company was really happy for me and there wasn’t any reason to wait to tell; they would have been very supportive if something had gone wrong too. I know the women on here tend to encourage “hiding” your pregnancy as long as possible at work, but I think there is value to disclosing to some people so you can get support if you have morning sickness, fatigue, doctor’s appointments, anxiety, etc. This assumes a supportive work environment, which I know isn’t always the case, so know your office I guess.
Spirograph says
I don’t think there’s such thing as “too soon” unless you’re one of the people who posts a picture of your pregnancy test stick on facebook (yuck). It’s situation-dependent to a large extent. I absolutely agree that if you’re having a rough first trimester, it’s better to let people know so that they don’t assume you have some much more dire medical condition, or just think you’re slacking at work. Other factors that contributed to me waiting so long:
In the year before I was pregnant with my first, 3 women in my office had quit a couple months after coming back from maternity leave. I was on a short list of candidates being considered for a promotion and didn’t want to be subconsciously written off.
Second one, I worked mostly remotely from my actual management, so no one who “matters” would have noticed sooner anyway.
FWIW, both times I got a couple “I knew its!” from a close work friend (I actually told her a little sooner, but asked her to keep it private) and the one guy who’s a dad, but everyone else seemed genuinely surprised. That’s what you get working with a bunch of young, single people…
Katarina says
At 13 weeks, right after a doctor’s appointment. It went much better than I expected, everyone was happy for me. I told most of the partners, the office manager, and my assistant, who told everyone else. We did talk about the length of maternity leave at that time, but not coverage details.
Anon S says
As a follow up question, if you are a lawyer, how did your pregnancy affect your hours? I am in my first trimester and I am absolutely exhausted. I am not going to hit my target billable hours this year. It’s not just b/c of the pregnancy but we’ve also had a few really slow months, but the pregnancy certainly isn’t helping the situation. In addition to being tired I just can’t focus for $hit.
JJ says
It’s hard. Especially in the first trimester. I will tell you that I had a 5-day federal jury trial when I was about 20 weeks and while the work was exhausting, I was physically able to bill all the necessary hours. I was behind in first trimester, made up my hours until my 9th month, and basically coasted from then until maternity leave. I didn’t have as much work when I was almost due 1) because some of work had been transitioned and 2) no one was giving me new cases (which made sense). Both times I’ve been pregnant, I’ve managed to hit my hours targets, which were prorated for my leave. But our office is fairly busy and there’s work to be had.
CPA Lady says
Around 12-13 weeks or so? I am facebook friends with some of my coworkers, and didn’t feel like I could make a big group announcement to my friends before telling my boss, since I didn’t want it to get to her through the grapevine. My department also goes out on a big drinking bender together on April 15th, and I wanted to get it out before then. I was incredibly nervous, but my boss ended up being almost more excited about it than my own mother.
Famouscait says
I told my boss only at about 14 weeks, and asked him to keep it private from the staff for a while longer. I would have told him later but was compelled by another employee leaving to get my news out first (her departure could have meant he asked me to cover for her, when I wasn’t up to doing so). We discussed timing and length of maternity leave, but not a plan for coverage. I was also very clear about my intention to return to work after baby, and I think that was important.
Watermelon says
Around 12-13 weeks, just after telling family. My doc advised that’s when we could have a higher degree of confidence that the pregnancy would stick.
Anonymous says
I waited until 22 weeks because I was concerned about my workload being negatively affected. Istarting around 7 months, I prepared a summary of outstanding items on each of my cases that I updated weekly.
Famouscait says
“I prepared a summary of outstanding items on each of my cases that I updated weekly.”
This is a great idea. I’m at 31 weeks and afraid I could be out of the office at any moment (no reason for the fear, just unproven, first-time mom). Did anyone else do something like this? Tips or tricks?
Meg Murry says
I’ve been keeping a running “if I get hit by a bus” list in my email. I cross off what gets done and add new items to it as I go. Mainly for when I was holding down the fort for 2 people that were out of vacation and then I had a series of sick kid incidents – I needed to be able to have something to quickly send to my boss if I needed to be out and he needed to know what was going on. Also helps me keep track of what is still outstanding from Friday to Monday so nothing slips through the cracks.
Katarina says
I kept a list of my outstanding matters, their status, and who should take over during maternity leave. At first I updated it weekly, then daily. I ended up continuing this when I came back to work, because it helped keep me organized.
Anastasia says
I did this too. For the last month or so, I kept a living document in a shared folder with names and contact information for people I had been in touch with. After every conversation, I’d add a quick summary of what we’d discussed and any items I’d taken for action. My memory was not great by then, so it helped me as much as it helped anyone who picked up where I’d left off! I moved drafts of everything I was working on into the same folder, and started using those as my working copies.
I do not have access to my work e-mail outside from home, so for the last few weeks, before leaving on Friday I would set my out-of-office reply to start the next Monday at noon and stick post-it in the middle of my monitor reminding me to turn it off. My baby ended up being born on a Saturday, 2 weeks before my maternity leave was scheduled to start, so I was pretty pleased with myself that I’d thought of it!
RDC says
Hi ladies! Question about traveling with an infant. We’re expecting our first in late November, and due to special events / family circumstances, will likely do two longish trips with the baby while I’m on maternity leave. Both by plane, one for 5 days and one for probably 10. Does anyone have recommendations for a travel crib or sleeping arrangements with an infant? For one trip, we’re staying with my parents, so I could ask them to buy a pack n play (or bassinet?) but it seems like a waste since we probably won’t be there more than once in the next year. The other trip is overseas so I’m a bit more concerned about using hotel cribs or borrowing things (my concern is they could be very old or unsafe). If we take our pack n play, will that stand up to being checked for an international flight? Other suggestions?
Meg Murry says
Ask your parents to ask their friends if they have a pack and play for their own grandkids. We’ve loaned ours out to family friends that had grandkids coming for a visit. Alternately, my kids have also slept in a laundry basket or dresser drawer – not fancy, but it got the job done and was fine for not-yet-mobile babies.
KJ says
For the actual flights, I highly recommend the Lucie’s List e-book. (Link to follow)
I traveled to my parents’ place when my baby was 9 weeks, and my mom bought a rock-n-play for her to sleep in there. It’s cheaper than a pack-n-play, and even though my baby only used it that one time, she is saving it in case we have another kid and lending it out to her grandma friends in the meantime. If we never have another, it will get donated, so we don’t really see it as a wasted expense.
KJ says
http://www.lucieslist.com/flying-with-baby/
Sarabeth says
We have a Guava Family Lotus Travel Crib (yes, I know, ridiculous name) instead of a pack’n’play, but we regularly travel with it. It’s flown internationally with us twice, and is no worse for the wear.
That said, I would not have safety concerns about borrowing a pack n play (a crib, maybe). Your parents probably have friends who have grandkids and therefore have up to date equipment available to them.
Watermelon says
+1 on the Lotus. You didn’t ask, but I have some travel advice: try to get a bulkhead-mounted bassinet on the overseas flight–typically, there’s not an extra charge and the extra room is really helpful. Also, ask for “family lines” at airports–even if there isn’t one, often a kindly staff person will help find a way to get you through more quickly.
Anastasia says
I say this with love: you are worrying over nothing about hotel cribs and borrowed stuff. This is totally normal for an almost first-time mom.
I’ve only traveled in the U.S. with my son so far, but everywhere we’ve stayed (including some pretty divey places) has had perfectly safe, servicable, cribs and clean sheets for them. As long as you’re going to a first-world country, I imagine this would be the same. Do check whether there’s an extra charge for the crib, though — one place wanted something insane like $15 a night. For that price, it would have been worth the baggage fee and hassle of bringing our own. Actually, my son always ended up in bed with us on trips anyway when he was really young. Nursing was the surest way to quickly calm him down, and I didn’t want to keep the poor guests in the hotel room next to us awake all night with my screaming baby.
My mom bought a pack n play at a garage sale for about $10 just so we’d have one fewer thing to load up in the car every time. I’m sure your parents could find a gently used one on craigslist for pretty cheap, as long as they have space to keep it. Or they could borrow from a neighbor — my grandparents do that when we visit.
RDC says
Probably true that I’m overthinking it :) it’s not a first-world country, but it’s middle-income I guess? So a loaner crib would probably be fine.
NewMomAnon says
I don’t know that this is an unreasonable fear – I stayed at a nice hotel in Washington DC and they made me bring my own pack and play sheet (said the sheets had been recalled as strangulation risks, so they couldn’t provide one) and then set the crib up incorrectly so I had to fix it. The crib itself was in decent condition, but would have collapsed if I hadn’t inspected it and fixed the problem. I wouldn’t have any problem using the hotel crib again, but I would inspect it prior to using it.
I think they make portable bassinets that you can actually bring on planes, and I would have loved to use that with my little one when we traveled. It was a little strange dropping my 3 month old into the bottom of a pack and play after using a bassinet at home since birth.
(former) preg 3L says
Some days, pumping is just the most rotten thing. That is all.
JJ says
Word. Hang in there. The best advice I received on pumping/BF’ing was not to decide to quit on a hard day.
(former) preg 3L says
Thank you; that is really good advice.
Nonny says
Oh my goodness, I agree so much. Today I almost forgot my first pump of the day, can you believe it? As a result I was about half an hour late and got only about 2/3 what I normally get. Awful. Luckily my LO is starting to taper down the amount she drinks during the day.
CPA Lady says
At my 36 week appointment last week, I had my first ultrasound since 20 weeks and we discovered that the baby is in the breech position. I just got out of my 37 week appointment and she’s still breech. I feel like she dropped down this week, so she feels like she’s pretty far down in there. I’m trying to figure out how likely it is that she’ll turn herself around this late in the game. I forgot to ask my doctor about it, of course. I’ve tried googling it, but am just coming up with a lot of anecdotes and wacky sounding home remedies. Does anyone know?
Alternately, does anyone have any positive stories about having a C-section? I’m not upset about the idea of having to have one if she doesn’t turn, but people keep telling me how horrible they are.
JJ says
I’ve had two c-sections. The first was unplanned (the baby was just stuck and after 12 hours of back labor, wasn’t going to come out no matter how hard I tried) and the second was scheduled. I had literally no problems with them. I was walking within hours of each. Yes, you’ll be sore and you’ll have an incision and it’s a surgery, but I was climbing stairs and walking without issue within two weeks. In fact, the only hard part was with the second and the lifting restriction meant that I couldn’t pick up my toddler.
As a wise woman that I work with once explained to me: If you’re going to have an incision healing on you as a result of childbirth, would you want it as a result of a c-section, or “down there?”
(former) preg 3L says
My birthing class recommended the webs!te spinningbabies dot com. I have no idea if the ideas on there are wacky sounding (I didn’t have a breech baby), but just wanted to let you know that at my legit birthing class, that’s what was recommended.
I have been told that a scheduled C-section can be a wonderful experience (especially vs an emergency one). If you know your baby is breech, you can be prepared for a non-emergency C, which should make it much easier than going in unprepared. Also I’ve heard stories of babies flipping at the last minute, so you never know? Hopefully others will have more advice… Good luck, and congratulations!
hoola hoopa says
I’ve heard about spinning babies from legit sources, too. Worth a try, but honestly I don’t actually know anyone that it worked for, especially after baby drops.
However, I do know people who had really positive and smooth c-sections, particularly when scheduled. The only rough recoveries I personally know were emergency. And women with a previous c/s due to breech are the best candidates for VBAC, according to a friend who recently had a successful VBAC after a breech c/s.
NewMomAnon says
My doula recommended chiropractic adjustments and spinning babies for my sunny side up babe. Neither of those turned my kiddo around, though I didn’t end up with a C section (and yes, birthing a sunny side up baby is as bad as the books make it sound). My doula also used a rebozo to “sift” my abdomen and it felt great even if it didn’t turn the baby; basically, they use this long scarf to support the weight of mom’s tummy while mom is on hands and knees. It was amazing to not have that pressure on my lower back, even if just for a few minutes. I highly recommend it.
I think doctors can also do something to turn the baby – it’s risky so they don’t do it a lot (can induce labor, can stress the baby) but it’s something to ask about. I’m sorry that I don’t remember the name.
Nonny says
I ended up with an unplanned C-section. I had some bad experiences due to the epidural I ended up needing during labour, but the C-section itself was just fine. It took a surprisingly short time (I feel like I was in and out in about 5 minutes), my SO was right there beside me the whole time, and the doctors put the baby right on my chest immediately after birth so I got immediate skin-to-skin contact even before they took me to the recovery room.
Although I didn’t want a C-section at all, I have to say that an unintended awesome consequence was that we got to stay in the hospital for 5 days (partly due to my recovery time, partly because my LO had jaundice). That was really great because as a first-time mom, I was able to ask the nurses lots of questions, learn about BFing and adjust to my new role as Baby Butler and Food Dispensary even before we went home. Honestly I would have been a huge wreck if they’d kicked me out after 24 hours as they seem to do with most non-C-section births!
CHJ says
I had to have a scheduled C-section for other medical reasons (surgery for fibroids years earlier). It wasn’t bad at all. We showed up at the hospital at 7 a.m. and were cuddling our baby by 9 a.m. It did take a day or so before I could get out of bed, and about 2 days before I could walk comfortably. But I was able to walk out of the hospital on day 3, and had no trouble caring for the baby or carrying him around once we got home. I did have DH stay in the hospital with me the whole time and change all the diapers the first night, but I’d call that a bonus of a C-section, not a downside. I think people have bad experiences when they labor for a long time and are exhausted and in distress, and then have to have an emergency C-section. But a scheduled C-section wasn’t bad at all.
JJ says
Oh, this is a great point! I never had to change the meconium diapers or the diapers the first day and just let my husband do it.
FVNC says
I had an unplanned c-section after failed induction. Absolutely no problems at all. Like JJ, I was walking within hours. Moving and walking hurt like h*ll the first day, but I was so tired I didn’t really want to move anyway. The next day I was just sore, and could move more or less normally.
While others wouldn’t see this as an advantage, I loved that I got to spend 2 extra days in the hospital because of the c-section. As a first time mom, I really appreciated all the help and input from the nurses re: infant care. Plus, I was still there when my milk came in, so the LCs could help me with breastfeeding. And I could send the baby to the nursery for a couple hours at a time for sleep. There are lots of advantages to a v-birth, but c-sections can be very positive experiences too!
My sister’s baby was breech. She was able to get the baby to flip using the exercises on spinningbabies, but baby flipped again back to breech a couple days later. I guess sometimes babies just like being butt first. Good luck with the delivery. I hope everything goes smoothly, no matter how your baby enters the world!
Breech baby says
I was in your situation with my 2nd baby, following a normal va*inal delivery for my 1st. I had an ECV done, which failed. It was extremely uncomfortable – imagine 2 people pushing HARD on your belly (their arm muscles were shaking according to my DH, I didn’t know because I was closing my eyes and trying to block everything out) to try to reposition it, without any type of anesthetic. I couldn’t breathe and it took all my mental strength to endure the discomfort/pain while they were doing it.
While I’ve heard of successful ECVs and watched them on youtube, some babies are breech for a reason. When mine was delivered via C-section, he had the cord wrapped twice around his neck. Also, my fluid was on the low side, so that contributed to the cord not being able to come unwrapped, and him not turning. They monitor the baby before and after the ECV to minimze risk (I was prepared to have to have an emergency C if he was harmed by the ECV or if my uterus ruptured as a result, which is a small but existent risk).
Having had both a regular delivery and an ECV, I would still have tried the ECV for the possibility of avoiding a C. To me, recovery from a C was much worse. Although I was walking the 1st day (per doctor’s instructions so I could get out of the hospital ASAP, not because I wanted to walk), it was extremely painful even with the drugs, and the incision hurt so much even when laying down that it was hard to breathe (and I was at a first rate hospital and had no complications). I felt basically like I was sawed in half and it’s so hard to take care of a baby when even moving positions from bed or getting up and down is painful, even with drugs. Despite this, I only stayed in the hospital 2 nights even though I could have stayed longer, just because it’s so disruptive and not restful being there with nurses coming in every 2 hours and all the noise.
I’m sorry you’re in this position; hope the baby turns (I tried inversions too). A lot of people say their C-section recovery was a breeze so if you have to have one, hopefully yours will be too.
In House Lobbyist says
I have had 2 C-sections and while I was disappointed and felt like a failure (pregnancy hormones- I don’t think that anymore) they weren’t as bad as I expected. This is from someone who hates hospitals, doctors, needles, everything. The first baby came before my 37 week appointment where I was supposed to have an ultrasound. He also came really fast – water breaking to 9cm in about 3 hours and in the middle of the night. They didn’t figure out he was breech until the 9cm mark so I had a really quick emergency C-section and that was scary. Baby was stuck (because he was already in the birth canal) so I got another incision vertically. I also wanted a natural birth because I’m sensitive to pain meds so I think they jacked the meds into me really quickly which made me very sick for the first 12 hours. My incision was a little rough looking but I felt pretty good by the time my pain meds ran out at the 10 day mark or so.
Because of the vertical cut, I had to have a second C-section which was much better from all accounts. I felt better sooner and my scar is smaller and barley noticeable a year later. And I got to emotionally prepare for it as well.
So all this to say that C-sections weren’t as bad as I thought and I am the biggest baby in the world when it comes to medical procedures. The extra time in the hospital the first time was really good since first baby had a hard time breastfeeding. I got to see the LC everyday. The second time around I went home a day early because I felt so good. I think a planned C-section is easier than an emergency one.
KJ says
Well, I have a negative C-section story that turned into a positive one, so I will share. I had an emergency c-section after a failed induction. (My baby was very large and in an awkward position, so it just wasn’t going to happen.) When my baby was about a week old, I developed an infection in my incision and had to go back to the hospital for 5 nights. It was really horrible – painful, depressing, frustrating, and just a tough time all around for me, my husband, and my family. BUT, here is the good news, even with having that complication, I had a really good, easy recovery from the surgery. I started exercising when I got the OK at 6 weeks, and I was not nearly as weak as I thought I would be. I began lifting weights again around 8 weeks, and now, 5 month out, I’m lifting as heavy as I was before the pregnancy, and I don’t feel any ill effects from the c-section. A c-section is not a disaster, even if it doesn’t go perfectly.
HM says
I had an emergency C-Section due to Pre-e, and honestly, the birth itself wasn’t that bad. Recovery wasn’t horrible either. I left the hospital at 5 days, and didn’t take anything stronger than tylenol from 4 days PP on. I will say, the area around my incision is still kind of numb 7 months, but not bothersome. Also (thankfully) I found the whole birthing memory mostly fuzzy (unless I really try to recall it) after a few months.
My recommendations would be to get a belly bandit or binder (that helped a lot with the recovery), and get up and walking by Day 2, even if its short jaunts.
I know for many women C-Section is not ideal, but you’re not a failure. Trust me, everyone parents differently than they expected… you’ll just an earlier start at rolling with what life throws at you.