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Washable Workwear Wednesday: Bessie Jacquard Top

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

A woman wearing Bessie Jacquard Top Pretty, pretty top from Boden. This top is feminine without any ruffles or floral print. It reminds me of a 1950s pattern with the combination of the neckline and the jacquard textured material. I also like how the material is thick and has darts at the bust. I imagine it with a bun and some small drop earrings. Just pair it with pants and the outfit is complete. The top is $85 and is available in sizes 2–18 with a petite option. Right now, you can get 15% off with code R8W3, which brings the price down to $72. Bessie Jacquard Top Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
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  • Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
  • Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
  • Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
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  • Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
  • Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Cb says

    My SIL is very ill and we are heading tomorrow for what seems likely to be a final visit. She is at home and I’m going with my husband and 2 year old. We are driving down 5 hours tomorrow (leaving before naptime) and then 2 hours on Friday but will do the drive home on the Sunday. Any advice? My son is rear facing still and decent in the car but we haven’t done a long drive before. Husband will be driving and I get car sick in the back seat so am hoping he can entertain himself with music and looking out the window but who knows? Planning on spending a few hours each day at the house and will head back to hotel with kiddo, letting my husband maximize time with his sister.

    • govtattymom says

      I am so very sorry. I will be thinking of your family. I think the drive will go ok. We actually did a 14 hour drive in one day with our 2 yo (I know- we are crazy). The number one thing that helped- we bought super cheap toys from the dollar spot at Target and gave her one every few hours. We also packed a ton of snacks. She got some screen time (maybe for an hour or two?), but I had only downloaded one movie and she only wanted to watch it once. Hugs to you.

      • Cb says

        Thanks! It’s a really horrific situation – she’s in her early 50s and thought she had beaten the cancer and it came back with a vengeance. I’m so sad for my husband’s whole family but she’s maintained such an incredibly positive attitude and she’s looking forward to seeing my son.
        The bucket of toys is a great idea – we are sadly lacking a Target in the UK but I suspect I can rummage things out of the toybox which haven’t had an airing in awhile. I might put my seabands on and see if I can manage a few hours in the backseat but I’ve been getting travel sick on our 20 minute commute lately so I don’t have high hopes.

        • Anon says

          Could you drive instead? I get motion sick too but I don’t if I drive. Then husband can alternate sitting in the back or up front as needed.

          • Cb says

            Sadly, I’m a non-driving weirdo. I lived in San Francisco for years, moved here at 26 and never bothered to get a license here. I need to learn to drive a manual transmission and it’s on my to do list for 2020.

        • Anonymous says

          I’ve also heard of people wrapping the toys pretty difficultly, so opening them is part of the activity.

          TBH, we do tons of screen time in the car. But we don’t really otherwise.

        • SC says

          I did a last minute road trip earlier this year and didn’t have time to buy anything ahead of time. I rummaged for toys that could work in the car, and it worked great! The biggest hit was pipecleaners :)

          DS likes being in the car, so that helps a lot. We all enjoy listening to music part of the time, and DS likes to tell us about what he sees out the window. We don’t listen to kids’ music, but DS likes a lot of songs we like.

          We also like to stop pretty often–at least every 2 hours–for everyone to stretch their legs. Places where kids can run around are key.

      • Annie says

        Second all this plus kids music – not the cool kind you actually like but the cloying kind that kids love. Two terrible kids CDs, toys/board books, snacks, and a fair amount of screen time have worked for us so far.

    • Anon says

      I’m so sorry!
      My 1.5 year old is a pretty terrible road tripper but can manage ~2.5 hour stretches, which we do pretty regularly (that’s the distance to the major airport in our area), so you can probably get away with one stop the first day and no stops the second day.
      We don’t do screen time, not because of any moral objection to screen time, but because our iPad is ancient and very heavy and I’m worried she could get hurt if the car stopped suddenly and it hit her in the head (perhaps this is an irrational fear…?). We bring tons and tons of pouches, since my kid is not a milk drinker and we don’t want to be stopping for food all the time, and lots of toys – we usually just use stuff we have, but I might hit up Target before the next trip. Trips are definitely smoother with an adult in the backseat to entertain her, but she and I just did a 5 hour road trip solo (one stop) and it was…ok. There was some crying but eventually she fell asleep, then we stopped and had food and then she was relatively calm for the second half of the journey.

    • Anonymous says

      Sorry you’re dealing with this!

      Seconding screen time (tablet + headphones works for us for having the 2yo entertained without parent involvement) and kids’ music. We also get a good amount of mileage out of sticker books (we use the M&D reusable puffy stickers, but anything your kid can do himself would work) and giving him books to “read” to himself.

    • Anonymous says

      So sorry.
      If there are any movies your kid loves, the soundtracks could be a huge hit. We listen to the Moana and Frozen soundtracks on loop in the car and kids (not quite 2, 4) are obsessed.

    • lsw says

      I’m so sorry. I second the ideas of new fancy toys. Maybe some board books as well. Do you have Melissa and Doug Water Wow? (Or does a toy shop sell them around you?) What about an audiobook?

      We also majorly stock up on snacks – pouches, goldfish, fruit snacks – our typical snacking policies go out the window on a long drive.

      We always both sit in front while my son is in the back (also rear-facing). Whoever isn’t driving is the one who passes back food and toys.

      If it’s possible, schedule an extra break or two, just to let him get out of the car and stretch his legs. Good luck!

    • GCA says

      I’m so so sorry. I also get very carsick and we have 2 kids and a small sedan, so me sitting in back with them just doesn’t work for any of us. Everyone’s already given lots of good suggestions about toys and snacks. Is there any chance you could do the whole drive at night or very early in the morning? We used to have a 10h drive to my in-laws’ (they’ve since moved a whole plane flight away) and would leave around 3am to get there midafternoon. Schedule some breaks and look for the nearest playgrounds/ parks.

    • Katarina says

      I am so sorry. We don’t do anything special for car rides, and never sit in the back with the kids.

    • Lana Del Raygun says

      I’m so sorry. Can you pick up a mirror so he can see you? We didn’t have one on our last road trip and I think it would have helped a lot.

    • Anon says

      I’m very sorry. My daughter thinks it is hilarious when her parents pass food back to her, like one Goldfish at a time – very tedious for the grow up but can get you through tough stretches. Also she likes anything she can manipulate like this whale with a zillion buckles on it that she can buckle and unbuckle on her own or this board with lots of little doors and pictures of animals behind the door.

  2. Anonymous says

    How long has it taken your toddlers to adjust to a new daycare? We just moved our 2.5-year-old twins to a new place and dropoff today was even rougher than yesterday. They were totally cheerful at pick-up, so I know they’ll get over it, but since they started the old place at 3 months we’ve never had any crying at dropoff before and the double “Mommy don’t leave me here!!!” is hard.

    • AwayEmily says

      I was just going to ask about this…my 3.5 yo just started at a new place a week ago and cries at dropoff (briefly, and not inconsolably). But it’s not just because of the newness of the place — she cried at her old place probably 3/5 days a week, and she’d been there for two years. She seems to have a perfectly fine time at school but goodbyes are tough. I’ve been a little worried about this since it seems like most other kids her age have stopped doing the dropoff cry.

      So, given that your kids were fine at the old place (ie, not habitual dropoff criers) I bet they will be fine in another week or so. Daycare teachers I’ve chatted with said that it takes a kid about six weeks to really get used to a place.

    • Em says

      We have been in 5 daycares in 3 years so I have some experience here. Transitions were at 11 weeks (1st daycare), 12 weeks (2nd), 18 months (3rd), 2 years (4th), and most recently 3 years (our current and, God-willing, last daycare). The transitions at 18 months and 2 years were by far the worst, so I think you are just at a rough age. The one at 2 years took a couple weeks to get better, so don’t be surprised if it takes awhile.

      • Anon says

        Do t hear yourself up about it. Even if you don’t switch daycares, kids transitions rooms about once a year, and I’m not sure a room change is any easier on the kid than a daycare change (probably easier on parents though).

        • OP says

          Yeah, legit. Their room changes at their old daycare were super smooth (probably because dropoff was still in the same place with thr same teachers), so I’m just not used to this.

    • anon says

      I would just less by how they are at drop off, but see how they are at pick up. Transitions are hard, but are they happy once they’re rolling?

      • OP says

        Yeah, at pickup they were happily interacting with their teacher and were very eager to tell us about which new friends they played with, so they definitely got over it, but the morning angst stresses me out. Good reminder that that is likely only a small part of their day, though!

    • Anonymous says

      A solid month for our 3.5 yo when we moved to a new daycare last year. The 2 year old handled it better, but went through many phases of rough dropoffs later in the year to make up for it.

  3. Anon for this says

    Disclaimer: I know this is a personal decision and the answer is different for everyone.

    But, if you had the option for PGT/PGD for your IVF embryos, why (or why not) did you choose to do it? I am just looking for other perspectives and to make sure I am thinking through everything. I had initially thought it was not an option because mine are all frozen, but apparently there is a method where they can thaw, biopsy and re-freeze. This would also allow us to choose gender, in addition to only transferring a chromosomally healthy embryo.

    • Anonymous says

      I used it. I have a genetic disease, my kids had a 50/50 shot of getting it. If I had been able to conceive without IVF I would have taken the chance, but since I was doing it anyway figured I should try to spare them.

    • Anon says

      I did not do it because we only had 2 embryos of not very good quality that turned out to ultimately be 1 embryo. It might not have survived the freeze/thaw process. There is a higher chance of a false abnormality than a false normal. If it came back abnormal our clinic wouldn’t let us try to implant and that’s all we had. Plus it was way more money. Ours didn’t stick anyway but I’m glad we tried.

    • Anonymous says

      We didn’t, because we had no reason to think we were likely to have an embryo with chromosomal problems (or at least, no more likely than the average person). If we were known genetic carriers for something, I think we would have done it.

      • Anon for this says

        We used it. My husband is religious and conservative and this was really pushing the lines for him but I remember saying that I didn’t want a really expensive miscarriage and PGD would help prevent that. He said it was my body so I got the votes and we committed to it ahead of time. I really don’t know what we would have done if one of them came back as Down’s…our clinic also would not implant irregular embryos and I think that would have been super hard on both of us.

        We only got two embryos with our retrieval and then tested them…tests came back normal for one and inconclusive for the other. Apparently with the second one they just didn’t get enough DNA to test. The doctors offered to thaw, test, and refreeze but did tell us there was more of a risk with thaw and refreeze. So we put both in and both took. Which was….probably the same result as if we had not tested.

        I am torn on PGD and I would say that I have heard the labs can really vary in the quality of the tests — it’s interesting to me that they are offering this as a later opportunity, I would look at the stats for your clinic (sometimes they break them down for PGD tested embryos and non PGD tested). Also depends on the type of infertility — if you have had miscarriages that points to egg quality (and testing being beneficial) but it it’s a structural issue then maybe not.

        If you are younger than 35 and don’t have a lot of embryos frozen, that might point to not testing — embryos are likely to be good, and you wouldn’t have that many implantation cycles anyway. If you are 35+ and have many embryos, it might save you a lot of implantation cycles and potentially miscarriages to test. Hugs to you — infertility sucks, and IVF is weird. Too many choices.

    • anon for this says

      With a small number of embryos and my age (< 35), we didn't. I also had concerns about reliability and possibility of inconclusive or wrong results leading us to toss good embryos & the potential risk to the embryos (both in terms of losing them & wanting to understand more about whether there is the possibility that it could impact development later on — not saying there is, just an area I would want to know more about). I am personally not interested in s*x selection.

      Also, PGS/PGD is not a golden ticket. A "normal" embryo can still fail to implant or result in miscarriage.

      I hope you are able to make a decision that works for you without too much angst. No parts of this process are fun.

      • KW says

        I agree with your second paragraph. We chose to do it, and out of the 8 embryos we had tested, 4 came back “normal.” I was surprised, but our FS said that’s normal – that statistically speaking only about 50% of those tested are normal. We chose to implant 2 of the 4 and both took. Around 21 weeks, the dr became concerned because 1 of the twins had a little hole in the heart and was smaller than the other, which the dr said were both signs of Down Syndrome. We had an amnio done but then ended up losing that twin at 24 weeks. All of the testing came back normal, and they even tested the genes that make up the chromosomes and found nothing abnormal. So all of that to say that PGS testing definitely isn’t 100% like I thought it was.

        My understanding is that thawing, testing, and refreezing isn’t very good for the embryos, so I would do it before they are initially thawed or not at all. We were older and none of our IVF was covered by insurance so we wanted the best chance at success with the fewest rounds of IVF possible (as does everyone doing it, obviously), so that’s why we chose to do the testing.

    • LizzieB says

      We did with our third and final transfer. We initially had 8 embryos, one of which took in a fresh cycle and a second which took from a frozen cycle. We knew we wanted one more baby and our doctor recommended that with 6 remaining embryos that we do the testing to minimize the number of FET attempts needed to find a good one since statistically they wouldn’t all be viable. We are so glad we did – only 3/6 even survived the thaw and then only 1/3 that were tested was genetically viable. These are higher than normal attrition rates, I think, but we could have gone through months of attempts with no chance of pregnancy if we had proceeded without testing. We didn’t have super high hopes for the one remaining embryo that we implanted – it was relatively low quality – but it ‘stuck’ and now we are expecting baby #3 this fall. Overall we feel very very lucky with the way things turned out, but recognize that we could have ended up with a tough decision if the test results had been different.

    • anon says

      I don’t know much about PGD, so I won’t comment on that. But for PGS (now called PGT-A), I think the number one question is your age and then, as a corollary, how many embryos you have. I’m on a bunch of message boards/FB groups for IVF and there is so much controversy around PGS right now – does it potentially damage embryos, is the science all there, can mosaics or even abnormals turn into healthy babies, etc. I can tell you that I decided to it for my fresh cycle at 39 that resulted in my now one year old son, and I have no regrets about that (my one PGS normal turned into him). However, I will be using my 20 frozen eggs (from when I was 35) and my RE has recommended against PGS, partially because of my age at freezing and partially because frozen eggs are more delicate. I’m comfortable transferring untested embryos from that age given that at least 50% are likely to be normal. I do plan on growing them out to Day 5, to hopefully weed out the weaker ones that are less likely to implant. So we’ll see how it goes. If i Have to do another fresh cycle, I will probably go ahead and test again, but make sure to save any abnormals so I can make decisions about transfer at a later date. Good luck!

    • AnonLaywer says

      Are you talking about PGD or PGS? I did PGS on my five embryos – only two were chromosomally normal (one was a mosaic). I felt really good about the decision to limit the chance of miscarriage. I did gender select, but felt a little weird about it. (Had one boy embryo, one girl, and the RE said they had equal chances of success). I was 35 at the time. My RE predicted that 2/3rds of my embryos would be normal and it was obviously less than that. It did cost $5k but extra transfers are expensive too.

      If you’re talking about PGD I would be more inclined to do it (assuming the baby would have a 25%-50% chance of a serious genetic disorder).

  4. Anonymous says

    Rough start to kindergarten today, the kid who bullied one of my twins for the last year at daycare just registered their school yesterday and was placed in their class. Only 13 kids in their kindergarten class and this kid had to be one of them :(

    • Anonymous says

      Ugh. If you foresee this being a big issue, talk to the principal asap to see if you can get your kid moved to another class. It may not be too late. Or, if it’s less extreme, at least talk to the teacher asap so she is aware and on the lookout to nip the behavior in the bud.

      • Ms B says

        Cosign. We go to some lengths every year to make sure that “The Biter” (Still! In grade school!) and “The Bully” do not end up in The Kid’s class. We do worry about being branded “those parents”, but The Kid’s safety and general well-being are key to a successful school year.

    • anon says

      I’ve been there, and I’m so sorry. I don’t think you’d be out of line to talk to the teacher and inform him/her about the daycare situation. It may be fine, but if things go south, your kid will have an adult in his corner from the start.

    • anon says

      I’d be in the school’s office ASAP to see what is possible. Maybe someone can be switched.

    • Anonymous says

      I would also feel disappointed and upset also, but I disagree with the advice that you should complain to the school or have your child move classes. I also think you shouldn’t be labelling a Pre-K child as a “bully.” These are young kids, still learning how to behave and interact. Especially if there are only 13 kids in the class, the teacher should be able to manage this (without your intervention).

      • Anonymous says

        I agree that kids are learning, but when you witness your child being hit, having mulch dumped on their head, grabbed, forced into hugs when they’re screaming no, etc…every.singke.day it gets tiring. And watching the behavior you really can see one child is picking on another. Bullies don’t become bullies overnight and usually the behavior is present at a younger age.

        • Anon says

          Where is the teacher in this though? I agree this behavior is unacceptable, but I don’t think a parent should be the one policing it. If the teachers are not taking action, I think you have a teacher/school problem, not a bully problem. There are bullies everywhere.

      • Ms B says

        I agree with Anon at 12:12 that these behaviors start early sometimes. “The Biter” was bitey in pre-K generally and then bit The Kid on the first day of kindy, resulting in us ending up with a room change and a less than satisfactory teacher that year. At that point we put our foot down and made sure that they were assigned to separate rooms going forward at all times, but we do wish we had taken steps earlier because we might have had a better kindy situation.

  5. Tweeter says

    I am flying for the first time with my pump / supplies on Friday. Can people help me with any and all tips? I plan on carrying on my pump, what about ice packs? Are those allowed? For flying back, I know I can bring my milk. In my carry on I am assuming? Also, I usually nurse or pump 5x a day. Do you think I’ll be able to get away with pumping 3-4 times a day on this trip? I’ll be away 2.5 days in total. I’m so close to weaning, I’m happy I only have to do this for one trip. Thanks all!

    • Anonymous says

      Not an answer to your question, but when I was traveling and somewhat close to weaning, I didn’t bother storing my milk at all. I pumped to manage the supply situation while I was away, but I just dumped the milk out. My baby got a mix of breastmilk and formula starting around 6 months or so, so I knew he’d be fine. Just to remind you that it’s an option!

      • Tweeter says

        Thanks! Should have mentioned that we are exclusively breast milk and I don’t want to introduce formula since we’re so close to 1 and otherwise are having no issues, so want to keep it up for the next few weeks. I did consider not bringing back my milk. This trip is using about half of my freezer stash – but maybe I don’t need these ounces in reserve anymore… something to think about for sure!

    • Anon. says

      Your pump bag is a medical device so it doesn’t count as your carry-on + personal item.

      Milk can go in a cooler with ice bags. TSA is pretty inconsistent about how they check milk but I never had them not let it through – make sure to give yourself extra time at security though. Some will want to test every container, some will do a random sample. Some open the bags and wave a strip in the air over it, some just swab the outside of the container. None of them will touch the milk. Several told me that as long as it is under 3 ounces they don’t have to check it at all. If your ice packs are solid, they are allowed through security. The alternative to that is to bring a ziplock bag and visit a restaurant past security and ask for ice – I had good luck with this at Starbucks.

      If you’re that close to weaning, dropping a pump session or two shouldn’t impact your supply but might be uncomfortable.

      Make sure you have extra batteries for the pump because you won’t always find a convenient outlet. Bring a scarf or cover and you can pump just about anywhere depending on your modesty level – I pumped in my seat on several airplanes; no one said a word and I’m pretty sure the dude next to me didn’t even notice until I was done.

    • Anonymous says

      Ice packs are allowed as long as they were clearly frozen when you started the trip. If anyone hassles you about it, ask to speak to their manager. If you store it in 3 oz or less containers you can avoid having it checked at security, but I never found the hassle of a million tiny bags/bottles to be worth it and just let them scan it.

    • rosie says

      – Pump can be an additional bag as medical equipment
      – You can carry on frozen ice packs, if thawed, it’s a no go (liquid). I suggest having some ziplocs you can ask to have filled with ice after security on the airplane or at a restaurant as a back up. I’ve never had an issue with ice packs, although I have asked a flight attendant for ice when we were diverted and a 1-hr flight turned into 5 hours (although she used a different bag anyway).
      – I strongly prefer to carry on frozen milk, if possible. Never had any TSA agent need to screen it at all (just peek in the cooler and done). A cooler with a lot of frozen milk and some ice packs will stay cold for a long time. And you can refreeze as long as their are still some ice crystals in the milk if it happens to thaw (or you can feed w/in 24 hrs of thawing).

    • lsw says

      Not sure where you’re staying, but if you’re in a hotel, I’ve asked at the front desk for them to freeze or refrigerate the milk. Works way better than the hotel fridge. I also stored pump parts in a ziplock bag in the fridge between pumping sessions and thoroughly washed once a day. I never had the heart to dump and even brought back milk from a five day international trip.

      I never had an issue flying with breastmilk domestically. You got this!

      • Anon says

        Yes same. I bring a little cooler and label it with my name and room number and get a valet tag for it and have the hotel freeze it.

    • Anonmom says

      Bring a hand pump if you can for emergencies. I had heard this tip before I went on a short business trip and decided it wasn’t necessary, since I’d never needed one before. Then I knocked my pump off a table onto the ground and it broke. I missed some of the meetings I had flown cross country to attend so that I could uber to the nearest buy buy baby 30 minutes away before they closed to buy a new pump.

    • Delta Dawn says

      Go to the TSA website and print out the section on “Formula, Milk, and Juice” under Traveling with Children: https://www.tsa.gov/travel/special-procedures/traveling-children

      I keep a printout of this in my pump bag to show any TSA agent who raises questions– but most usually don’t. I actually never say anything about it unless they ask what I have. Most of them don’t ask. On the return trip, I watch the milk cooler closely because I don’t want them to open it and touch it, but no one has ever done that. Never had any trouble with ice packs, but if you do, it’s covered in the printout. I’ve also had success bringing lots of ziplock bags and filling them with ice once I’m through security.

      I bring several gallon-size ziplocks and put the milk bags in there, then in the cooler. That way the milk is double-bagged so that if an individual milk bag pops open or is punctured, the milk can be saved. I also travel with a soft-sided cooler, which is easier to carry and maneuver.

      Technically, a cooler of milk and the breast pump bag should not count against your carry on allowance because they are medical items. HOWEVER– this is up to the gate agent, not TSA, and I would be prepared to cram at least one (probably the pump) into your existing carryon if possible. See here for more: https://thepointsguy.com/2017/09/tips-carrying-on-medical-devices/

      United is one airline that specifically lists breast pumps as an approved device that does not count towards your carryon limit, and it also says breast milk does not count towards the limit: https://www.united.com/ual/en/us/fly/travel/baggage/infant.html
      If you are flying United, print and bring that with you for gate agent if needed. The above article from The Points Guy is 2017, so maybe other airlines have updated to be more clearly inclusive.

      If you normally pump 5x/day, 4 should be fine for this trip… 3 might be uncomfortable. And 3 would be more likely to decrease your supply, although it sounds like you don’t care so much about supply since you are close to weaning. Good luck on your trip!

    • Ashley says

      If you can, get a small portable thermometer. I have used this in hotel fridges to make sure they actually got cold enough to keep the refrigerated milk cold. Also, if for business travel, see if your company would reimburse for Milk Stork. They can ship milk containers and freezer packs to your hotel, with options to either ship back or use as a carry-on. (Or you can absolutely pay for Milk Stork yourself, it’s just fairly expensive.)

      • lsw says

        I have a very similar top from them and love it! It washes beautifully.

        I find that their clothes run on the large side for me, especially bottoms. I’m a 12-14 in most stores and even wear a 10 sometimes from Boden. I’m a tall hourglass. If you’re in the US, returns are pretty simple so consider ordering two sizes in the same top to see how it works for you.

        • Anonymous says

          I find the opposite with regard to sizing. I am a 0-2 in US brands but take a US 4 for tops and dresses in Boden and other British brands. I have an athletic figure (straight up and down, no curves), and the shoulders are always what’s tight in British brands.

      • Anonymous says

        I generally wear a 10 in pants and 12 in tops and find it pretty true to size. However, I will say that years ago when all of their clothes were marked with British sizes, there was a weird in-between zone right around size 12 (I think) – there was one US size that had no direct equivalent.

      • octagon says

        Boden puts garment measurements on their site with the size chart, so helpful!

  7. More anon than usual for this says

    NYC mamas-
    Stuytown… yay or nay?
    Background- My husband may be getting a job in NYC in LIC. The job will require him to live in NYC. Assuming I find a job vaguely in the same pay range as my current one (which shouldn’t be difficult, I’ve looked and have found a lot of options) Stuytown seems the best option for renting a 3bdrm in our budget. The school districts (it seems to be multiple districts) look good from what I can tell… but maybe I’m way off base? Is sending kids to public school in NYC crazy?
    This job isn’t a guarantee, but I’m trying to verify whether or not it would be possible for us to actually pull it off budget-wise. Unless there’s something awful I don’t know about Stuytown and District 1 Manhattan schools, it seems like our best option.
    Also- among the apartments currently available, we would have our choice of apartments that are zoned to a particular seemingly high-rated elementary school, or apartments that are zoned as “school choice” for elementary school. I assume that if we move in the middle of the school year we need to shoot for one that is zoned to a particular school rather than gamble?

      • Anonanonanon says

        Everything I found in my relatively cursory search that was significantly cheaper and in a good school zone was not convenient to the subway, but if quality of life and schools are much better there I’ll certainly keep looking!

      • More anon than usual for this says

        Honestly that’s more than I dared to hope for on our budget, so that’ll do! Thanks!

    • ElisaR says

      Stuytown is great. It’s a little cheaper because it’s a little difficult to get to and not super close to a subway. It’s on the end of the island…. but it’s great for families. Back in the day stuytown housed a lot of families of WWII veterans. It used to be rent controlled but not anymore. I think it’ll be a great fit for you!

    • nycmom says

      it’s a good neighborhood within a good school district. lots of nearby playground and park options too, including walking distance to union square playground.

      inside schools dot org has the most comprehensive and clear info about nyc public schools in my opinion.

      just one person’s opinion, but as someone who lives near stuy town and has spent a good deal of time in lic, I find lic to be sterile or unpleasant. other than the fancy amenities-filled buildings, everything else is either cookie cutter generic gentrification stuff or very industrial/not residential.

        • LICAnon says

          As a Mom who lives in LIC (albeit to a non-school aged child), I disagree. I won’t compare the schools, because I have not done the research. IMO, we are much more central for transportation. Think 5-6 min subway ride to midtown and we also have a ferry to the east side or downtown to Wall St. Depending on your kid’s ages, there are loads of activities and many amenities to cater to young families. Many, many playgrounds (some along the waterfront, others scattered throughout the neighborhood), play cafes, play spaces, dance schools, community centers, etc. The park along the waterfront hosts activities for kids, yoga, movie nights, etc. and everything is easily walkable within the neighborhood, including my kid’s pediatrician, my GP, dentist, etc. To be clear, I am referring to the Hunter’s Point section of LIC. IMO, Court Square has more subway options, but virtually no park space and is a constant construction zone. I personally would not live in that section. I’m sure Styutown is a great option and you will be happy there, but wanted to give you a different perspective if you are considering LIC. Good luck and welcome!

      • More anon than usual for this says

        Thank you for the recommendation re: inside schools dot org, I’ll check that out if we explore other areas!
        And thank you to LICAnon for the LIC info, I’ll keep looking over there as well. FWIW, we’re hoping to keep rent around $5K or under and 3 bedrooms are a must for us, and won’t be able to afford private school on that, so it certainly limits our options! Wish we could bunk the kids, but they are opposite genders and nine years apart so I don’t think that’s a great long-term plan.

        • Also live in LIC says

          Just wanted to comment that I’ve lived in LIC for five years. In one of those “sterile” high rise buildings on the waterfront. And I looooove it. Our kids know all the similarly aged kids in our building from playing in our building playroom and on the roofdeck, we’ve got at least five close playgrounds, our transportation options are awesome, commute is short, and it’s like a breath of fresh air to get off the subway everyday after work and not be in the Manhattan craziness every evening.

    • anon in nyc says

      I live in the general vicinity of stuytown – they have a pretty active facebook community. Might be worth checking out before making the jump. I was considering a move there and was given this advice by someone who lives there: the units closer to 1st ave are a bit safer (not to say the others are unsafe, they just aren’t as heavily foot-trafficked) and the units on the north end (Peter Cooper versus Stuytown) are the nicer ones because they were built for the returning officers. (The southern units were built for the returning soldiers.) Obviously, they are probably priced accordingly. So the prime units are on the northwest side of the complex. Of course, most people living there know that and so those are the most competitive to get and the least likely to be available long. Check out the floor plans carefully and obviously go in person if at all possible before committing. Sometimes the three-bedrooms are really two bedrooms that have been converted, in which case the “living room” won’t have any windows.

    • Anonymous says

      Come to Forest Hills! Will be a great commute to LIC and great schools. Not sure about your commute though.

  8. 5weeks says

    Just started looked at the cost of daycare and it’s CRAZY! We may have a little support from my mom/MIL in the first few months but looking for creative solutions to keep childcare costs low.

    • Anonanonanon says

      We use a state-licensed in-home daycare and have been EXTREMELY happy with it.
      My advice for finding one is to start by searching inspection reports on the website of the licensing agency in your state (DSS, DCF, etc.) and read through the ones in the zip codes near where you want childcare. Filter out those that have dealbreakers (for me that was expired background checks of staff and household members, out of date vaccinations, etc) and contact those left. Ask about their hours, their weather closure policies, etc. and schedule visits with those who have availability and meet your needs.
      We live in a HCOL area suburb where an in-center daycare is around $2K/month. Our in-home is $290/week. For context, my elementary school-aged child attends before and after school care at a center and it sets us back $206 a week.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 in home daycare. There’s the added benefit that your child will have the same provider from ages 0-3 (or whenever they start preschool) which is lovely for them. I’m in DC suburb and in home was $1400/month vs $1800 and above for centers. Added benefit was that the in homes were closer to our house. Children don’t get sick AS often at in homes but if the provider is sick you’ll need backup or you’ll have to use PTO (this has happened to us once – I took a day of PTO and then put daughter in a backup in home our provider knew, which we actually loved).

    • Anon says

      It is crazy. I’m in the Midwest l, where salaries are lower, and so many women here stay home because it’s financially easier for the family, especially once you have two or more children. There’s been so much focus on affordable college lately, which is good, but I really wish we talked more about affordable childcare. The cost of childcare really drives women out of the workforce.

    • Anonymous says

      Also ask around about smaller centers. We ended up with one that had no website so was basically advertised by word of mouth, but was a fully licensed center that cost about $100 less per week than the places in our town with fancy websites and published curriculum.

    • Emily S. says

      Our faith-based daycare is significantly cheaper than a private center. We don’t belong to the affiliated church, and they accept all faiths and non-believers. I believe it is cheaper because it is considered a mission of the church, subsidized by the church, or gets tax breaks. Is that an option for you? Also, what about employer subsidies or affiliated centers? (Like the government employee center, or Employer pays for a percentage.) These seem to be total unicorns, unless you work for Patagonia, but it might be worth investigating.

      • Anonymous says

        Oh yeah, all the faith-based ones in my town are also cheaper. FWIW around here there is wide variability in how faith-based they are, so it’s worth asking detailed questions–all are open to kids of any religion but range from “services” once a week to every day and from no mention of religion in the classroom to religious workbooks starting at age 2, etc.

    • Anon says

      Definitely ask about tuition discounts or subsidies for your particular income. Our daycare has income ‘tiers’ and you don’t get into the highest tier until you reach $150k HHI (and this is a LCOL area where a family of 4 could be very comfortable on <$150k). Our daycare advertises the different tuition tiers pretty widely, but I know some don't.

  9. Anon says

    My 18 month old shoves other kids a lot. Not meanly, but if a kid is in her way, she will just push them out of her way. She’s the oldest (by a small margin) and biggest (by a pretty large margin, she’s big for her age) in her classroom. Her primary interaction with other children is at daycare and of course her teachers tell her not to shove when they see it, but it seems like they see it maybe 1/3 or the time or less (just from brief observations DH and I have done in the classroom). I know this is probably age-appropriate to some degree and the teachers don’t seem concerned, but I hate to think my daughter is the class bully…but she kind of is! What if anything should we be doing? I feel like a bad parent for not doing anything about this, but she so rarely interacts with other children in our presence.

    • AwayEmily says

      Totally developmentally normal and daycare will deal with it. It will also start to solve itself as her peers get older and more able to defend themselves verbally. Starting at around 2, my kids’ daycare started teaching them phrases like “hands off” and “walk away.”

      You really don’t need to do anything at home but if you want, you can emphasize “gentle touches” (ie, praise her for being careful, being gentle with you/your partner, etc).

      • Anon says

        Thanks! We’ve been working on gentle touches, no grabbing/pinching, etc. at home, with pretty good success. We have a dog so it’s important. But this isn’t quite the same thing – she actually shoves them quite gently haha (other kids rarely fall over). She learned how to say “move” this weekend so we’re working on telling stuffed animals, etc. to move instead of pushing but I’m sure it will take a while to get it.

    • Lana Del Raygun says

      Your daughter is not the class bully! My sister is in early childhood education and this is her hobbyhorse, so I will pass on her reassurances: bullying by definition involves a kind of deliberate targeting that kids of this age are literally incapable of. She’s a kid who pushes other kids (effectively), and that’s stressful — I don’t want to discount that! — but she is absolutely not a bully, and this has no bearing whatsoever on her moral future. :)

  10. Confused about bottles for toddler says

    Help me out with something that I can’t seem to figure out – When did you stop sending bottles to daycare? Particularly if you continued breastfeeding after 1, did you still pump and send breastmilk for awhile?

    LO just turned 1 and I’m still breastfeeding and pumping, but am so confused about how all of this works now. I tried asking my sons teachers what they recommend but they just said whatever we want to do is fine.

    • Anon says

      Most people I know who b-fed past age 1 only did it in the mornings and evenings and had their children drink cow’s milk at daycare. They typically dropped pumps over a ~1 month period and made the transition from b-milk to cow milk gradually as pumping was reduced. I have a weird kid who self-weaned from bottles at 11 months and refused cow’s milk, so she has solids and water only during the day.

    • AwayEmily says

      Like a lot of people on here, I stopped pumping a little before 1, but kept BFing in the AM/PM. At 1 I told daycare I wanted to transition off bottles. We used a weighted straw cup as a first cup, then switched to the 360 a few months later. At the same time that they transitioned off bottles, they also made the switch to whole milk (with one of my kids they just switched immediately, the other had it mixed with incrementally smaller amounts of breastmilk/formula).

    • rosie says

      Not sure if you are asking about the milk itself or the delivery system, but:

      Our pediatrician wanted us to go cold turkey on bottles at 1. We were using the kiinde bottle system, so we switched to the sippy/straw top for those bags, which were super convenient and a relatively easy transition for my kid. Then we switched to sippy cups w/bmilk for frozen milk that wasn’t in kiinde bags. That took a little longer for her to get used to — I think it is normal for bmilk consumption to go down as you move away from bottles and also as kid is eating more solids after 1.

      If you want to stop pumping but keep up direct nursing (which I understand is common, although I don’t have personal experience with it as I EPed), wouldn’t your kid just switch to whole milk during the day? Don’t know if daycare or you provide that, but seems like an easy thing to ascertain. We switched over to whole milk around 14mo when my freezer supply was gone, in the same sippy cups as we used for bmilk.

    • GCA says

      Following. This isn’t even our first go-round but I’ve completely forgotten what we did with him, and kid 2 is in the same infant class with the same infant teachers (they don’t remember either!). IIRC we switched to a sippy of cow’s milk around 13-14 months and away from bottles. But how? When? Did he just eat more of his lunch and snacks?

      With kid 2 (13mo) we’ve established that she is happy to use sippy cups for both water and cow’s milk (we do that at home plus nursing in the morning, occasionally during the day, and before bed. Great, that’s one step out of the way. Today I sent 3 bottles as usual, but we’re asking her teachers to just offer a sippy of cow’s milk in place of the last bottle or at snack time. We’ll see how that goes.

      • GCA says

        PS – I plan to continue nursing kid 2 for the next few months, so will be doing so mornings & bedtimes on workdays. Currently I have to pump 1x/ day just to relieve discomfort, but will be phasing that out too. It’s the same as I did with kid 1. She rarely even asks to nurse in the day when she’s at home with me, and when she does she is super distracted and wriggly – not even long enough to get a letdown sometimes (and then she looks up at me, affronted, and toddles off).

    • Emily S. says

      I was confused about this with both my kids. What I remember now is that in the ramp up to weaning/weaning, we started sending in more food and fewer bottles or ounces in bottles. I think we replaced about one bottle with food every few days, and then, by the end of week three, no more bottles. In that 3 week period, we guesstimated how many bottles and ounces to send based on her most recent feeding habits (like, eating all of morning snack and refusing a bottle or ate lunch plus a bottle). Good luck with the transition!

    • Pogo says

      I followed daycare’s lead, which was cow’s milk at 1 in sippy cups. I can’t remember how long the transition took. It felt like it took forever, but was probably only a few months (first mixed bm/cow’s in bottles, then cow’s in bottles, then sippy, then sippy but warming it for less time, etc). I was lucky that my kiddo is totally fine with cow’s milk and had no issues there, but he did love his bottle. I still struggle with him drinking cold milk at home, but at daycare he is (and always has been) oz for oz drinking the same as when it was bm.

    • anon says

      I kept sending breastmilk to daycare until the freezer stash ran out and I stopped pumping at work for comfort, though we kept some supply for night time sitters to give a bottle before bed, if needed. Daycare just put the milk in a sippy, they really don’t like using bottles after 12 months (maybe its a regulation here?). I thought there was no way DD would take it that way, but it was fine. I used avent bottles and just sent with the disk seals rather than a nipple. I pumped at work till 13 months, kept sending breast milk to daycare until maybe 15 months. For several months she needed to nurse right after pick up and extra on weekends, but then I cut back about one session a month till she weaned last week at 26 months.

  11. Anon says

    I feel like sort of a bad person for even asking this, but I’m thinking of doing a weekly volunteering hour working on reading with lower elementary school kids and I’m wondering if I should volunteer in one of the schools in our area with more disadvantaged kids or if I should volunteer at the more affluent elementary school my DD will attend in a couple of years. My altruistic side says I should volunteer where I’m needed most, ie., the disadvantaged school, but I selfishly feel like there might be an advantage to getting to know teachers at my daughter’s future school and building up goodwill with them, especially since I’ll probably be less involved in the school than a lot of her classmates’ moms (I work full time, not crazy hours, but enough that I probably won’t be doing the PTA/Room Mom thing).

    • avocado says

      Absolutely volunteer at the school your child will attend. Tutoring is a better way to become an insider than PTA or room mom duty. Even if you don’t intend to try to pull strings for your child, you’ll get the information that moms who are not part of the in crowd don’t have access to (e.g., what math class your kid needs to take in fourth grade to be eligible for certain high school programs). I only get this information from my friend who tutors reading.

    • Anonymous says

      Volunteer where you are needed. I don’t know what on earth kind of goodwill you think you’ll be building up but no one will remember or care, except a child in need who you help.

    • Anonanonanon says

      Definitely do it at the school your child will be attending. There is so much info to be gathered that the working moms usually don’t have direct access to. For example, our district has “preference” forms you can fill out about what kind of teacher your child would do best with. They’re much easier to fill out if you know about the teachers and can word it in a way that will point the placement committee towards the one you want.

    • Anon says

      You might also consider need more in-depth. At first glance, my kid’s school seems exceptionally affluent, but there’s also a substantial minority of kids who qualify for free and reduced price lunch.

      Parent volunteers work really hard to create as wonderful and equal of an environment as possible (PTA buys everyone’s school supplies and covers most field trip fees, there are aides paid for through parent fundraising, tons of volunteer help in the classroom). If people didn’t volunteer/raise funds as much as they do, it would impact the poor kids the worst because rich parents can make up for gaps more easily than poor parents.

    • Anonymous says

      How many years out are you? Do you have to volunteer at the same location the whole time? How about 1 year at school A and 1 year at school b (closer to when your kiddo enrolls)? Or alternate weeks/months between the two?

  12. Anonymous says

    My kindergartner has 4 friends from preschool that all signed up to do kindergarten cheerleading. I didn’t sign my kid up/ talked her out of it because (most importantly) it involved 2 weeknight practices and 1 Saturday AM game each week, including TRAVEL games. Secondarily, I don’t like football. If my kid wanted to play football, I could convince myself to suck it up and watch it. But watching football so I can watch my kid can CHEER for the kids playing football is awful. 2 of the other girls that signed up have older brothers that play football, so they are there anyway.

    Whatever, anyway, decision was made. But now cheer is starting up. The girls go to 3 different elementary schools, but one is in my daughter’s class and bus. Every day she talks about how much fun cheer is, and how she got to see the other girls. My daughter is so sad!

    I’m trying to psych her up for soccer, which starts this weekend. 3 of the girls from the group are on her team, but of course, there’s a cheer game right before soccer practice. My kid plays tennis and that’s how I spun not doing cheer: you do tennis! you love tennis! you are GREAT at tennis! [also, we don’t have time to schlep you to THREE cheer related activities during the week because you are one of FIVE people in this family]. That’s starting up this week too.

    But anyway, would like some advice on how if at all to help her manage to feel less left out. She’s making new friends in Kindergarten, which is great! If she didn’t hear about it from her bus friend/classmate, I think she’d be none the wiser on what she was missing out on. But I do feel badly (but not badly enough to sign her up) and want to help her feel less left out when her friends talk about cheer stuff.

    • anon says

      i remember you posting a while back about deciding whether or not to do this activity and i still cannot believe there is an activity for 5 year olds that requires such a massive time commitment. it is absurd. i think time will help with this as she becomes more involved with kindergarten and more focused on her new activities. cheer probably gets talked about a lot because it happens so often and it is new. at some point the cheer kids will miss out on something bc they are spending all of their time cheering. i think this is one of those times where it is good to acknowledge her feelings (it is normal and ok to feel a bit left out), but to also talk about her soccer and tennis and how much she likes those activities and how fun it is to meet new people in kindergarten, etc.

      • Anon says

        So absurd and intense! I don’t think my town even has a formal cheerleading program until high school, and the high schoolers cheer at basketball and football games but at least some of the squad enters cheerleading competitions as well. Maybe I’m naive and somewhere in my town there are kindergarten girls cheering for kindergarten boys playing football, but I really don’t think so. That concept is soo gross to me!

      • Anonymous says

        What’s even more absurd is we live in…not the south or south east. We live in an area where lax and soccer and tennis are far more popular than football. It just so happens I guess that our high school has a good young kids feeder program and somehow cheer got started. I have no idea, I have 3 girls and football is not our deal ;).

    • anon says

      Would you consider taking her to a game so she can see what it’s all about? It may lose some of the mystique… or she’ll decide that she absolutely has to try it next year. Either way, she’ll be more informed than the random stuff she’s hearing on the bus.

    • Anonymous says

      You probably won’t see this but I cheered for a rec league (like Pop Warner) starting in elementary school and with a similar schedule. I loved it. It kept me fit and busy. I ended up cheering competitively (so not for football) until college. I got to go to Hawaii for cheer. It was an amazing thing. I never liked football and still don’t. For me, cheer was more about dancing and building stunts than about rooting for the football team.
      A few notes thought: I started at 9. I grew up in the southeast. I made this my only sport (except occasional sports camps during the summer when cheerleading was off-season).

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