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Well, well: this $29 diaper bag is winning rave reviews over at Amazon. I like the lightweight material in a sophisticated color, the interior organization (pockets galore!), and the multiple straps for carrying or hanging the bag on your stroller. Best of all: have I mentioned it’s $29? Bellotte Amber Diaper Tote Bag
(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
PinkKeyboard says
Looking for tips… my 11 month old is still not crawling. She’s been up on all fours for months now and is capable of crawling. She’s taken a few crawl steps (2 or 3 at a time) but she hasn’t taken off yet. We go to the doctor on July 1 (her bday) and I’d really prefer to avoid early intervention etc if I can just get her moving. How do I lure her into crawling? If she realized how awesome it was I think she’d be all over the place but she just won’t connect the dots!
AIMS says
Have you tried putting toys just out of her reach and then moving them again and again to get her to go after them?
anon says
Does she pull up or cruise? Some babies skip crawling. Maybe she’s just not interested. I wouldn’t worry until your doctor tells you to.
grey falcon says
If it doesn’t happen, that’s okay, too: http://www.slate.com/blogs/how_babies_work/2013/04/24/crawling_and_development_parents_obsess_about_it_but_your_baby_will_be_fine.html.
Anon in NYC says
It sounds like she’s capable of crawling, but she just isn’t really interested in doing it yet. My daughter has been “late” on those physical milestones – she didn’t roll until 8 months, didn’t start scooting until about 10 months/crawling at 10.5, and now at 12.5 months is not cruising/walking yet. I mentioned the lack of crawling to her ped at her 9 month appointment and she said that because it was clear that my LO had strong core strength (was sitting well, could roll, etc.) that she wasn’t worried and that it may just take some time. Peds look for a kid to be walking at around the 18 month mark. But we couldn’t entice my LO to crawl. She just had to figure it out on her own.
HSAL says
Baby HSAL started moving a bit at 7 months, and we encouraged her by putting our phones or the remotes just out of reach. She couldn’t have cared less about her toys, but if it was forbidden? Totally. She was off like a shot at 7 1/2 months and now I sort of wish she had waited a little longer.
Clementine says
Hahah- are you me? We like to put the things Baby Clem *really* wants just out of reach as an incentive. Examples of things Baby Clem thinks would make the BEST toys include, but are not limited to cell phones, plugs and cords, dog toys, and dirt covered gardening shoes.
HSAL says
Why is it the shoes?! She also loves my dirty flip flops.
CLMom says
The grass is always greener. DD army crawled efficiently at 5 months and 1 week. I’m sad that I didn’t get an “infant” longer and I’m jealous that I can’t just sit her down and have her stay put.
PinkKeyboard says
She won’t be lured. She will just reach really far, roll, cry, or play with something else. I even tried my husband’s fancy sunglasses (which she loves) in a fit of desperation. She isn’t pulling up/cruising at all yet either. 11.5 months and no crawling, cruising, or pulling up!
J says
My youngest was very similar. She was a “butt scooter” instead of a crawler and wouldn’t put weight on her legs if you tried to force her to stand up. You’d hold her near the floor and she’d curl her legs up and scream, and I would freak out like, “Is she in pain??! What’s wrong with her legs?!?!” She wouldn’t even pull up in her crib. She’d roll and get into a sitting position and just sit there.
After her 1st birthday, the doctor said the lack of wanting to walk combined with food texture issues warranted an evaluation. Physically, her legs were fine. The evaluation was really easy–how many blocks can baby stack? Can baby get a grain of rice out of a small bottle? I think there were also picture cards and the baby pointed to the correct answer…it was 5 years ago and I just remember it being No Big Deal and feeling silly for being scared of it! She aced her tests and was fine. She started pulling up and walking by 18 months.
She’s 5 now and walks, runs, jumps, tap dances, does cartwheels, jumps rope. She’s independent, stubborn, and has really amazing focus. She can amuse herself and pay attention to little details. I think she was focused on whatever was in her little hand (or language she heard around her) rather than focusing on moving.
If you need to have your daughter evaluated, don’t be scared! You may learn your daughter is gifted or advanced in other areas, or you can just relax knowing that she’s going to be okay.
J says
She’s six. Sigh. She graduated kindergarten yesterday and is growing up.
MSJ says
I understand your reluctance to take on yet another task to your life, but EI was/is fantastic for my family. My son was diagnosed as low muscle tone and benefited immensely from PT through Early Intervention from 6-18M. He also gets speech and I did find it more difficult to locate an in home provider for PT services vs speech. But if your dr does encourage you to get your child to be evaluated, it’s a tremendous resource.
My son ‘graduated’ PT after 12M and now i struggle to keep up with him
MomAnon4This says
Older son was late crawler & walker — walked at 15 months.
The advice I got was that pediatricians won’t worry until 18 months.
I agree with the other avice below about doing a physical class if you want to get your baby crawling, but I’m not sure it’s necessary. I think your question should be, when do I worry? Not, “How much to worry/what are next steps?”
Anonymous says
20% of typical babies never crawl. Unless there are other issues I doubt it will get you into early intervention. Lots of first babies skip crawling to get right to walking.
Samantha says
Is there a friend with an older kid (toddler) that you can have playdates with? Babies are fascinated by slightly older kids who are running around etc. and may want to go after them, especially if they have interesting toys or are playing with a ball etc.
MDMom says
Have you had her vision checked? Maybe she doesn’t see far way things well and is therefore not that motivated to get them. I’ve heard that can happen. My baby didn’t crawl on all fours until 9 months and didn’t do it regularly until 10 months. But he did “army crawl” very well starting at around 7 months.
Anonymous says
Crawling isn’t considered a milestone. Like a lot of others said, a lot of babies skip crawling entirely.
Vi says
Looks like most of the reviewers received the product at a discount in exchange for their review.
Anon says
How can you tell if someone received the product for free?
HSAL says
At least a few of the reviews mentioned it, but as far as I know there’s no way to tell.
Vi says
Most of the reviewers mentioned it, I think they may have to. Switch from “top review sort” to “most recent.”
Migraine...ugh says
Just posting for a little venting and solidarity. Since having my LO (now one year), I’ve gotten crippling monthly migraines as my period begins. They can go on for days. Yesterday I got all the warning signs (nausea, feeling like I can’t breathe) and thought, great, I’ll take my meds tonight and be back in the game tomorrow! Which would have worked, except our usually fantastic sleeper woke up screaming every hour on the hour. And sleep is a super necessary part of the meds’ doing their job.
So I am back at work today, with the usual slowness from the day-after-immitrex, and still feeling wretchedly nauseated and terrified the headache’s going to come play. For a number of reasons staying home wasn’t an option today. And I’ll be fine. I’m all equipped with nausea meds and all the OTC drugs. Just trying not to say anything astonishingly dumb until I can go home tonight and dive into a bath of meds. Parenting is so fun!!
anne-on says
No advice, just solidarity. I’ve had migraines since I was a teenager, but they’ve gotten more intense since I had a kid, exactly like you about 2-3 days right as my period starts. Thinking about trying botox as Immitrex and the other drug I was prescribed gave me awful almost instant vertigo that made the migraine look better in comparison!
Anon says
If you haven’t tried Naratriptan, it works for me almost instantaneously without sleep. Unfortunately it is a “no go” while pregnant or BFing (which I am currently), so I am relegated to Fioricet which also requires sleep to work.
RDC says
I really like relpax (I think it’s eletriptan) so that might be another one to try. It actually doesn’t work for me if I go to sleep – I have to be up and active. But I usually get my migraines in the morning so it works well; takes about an hour or two to kick in. I take it together with Aleve and have found it helps prevent the migraine coming right back for days 2-3.
RDC says
And hugs, migraines are the worst.
ChiLaw says
Oh my gosh you have my deep sympathies.
Meg Murry says
Oh, you have my sympathies too.
Although if you were feeling like crap, and baby was screaming every hour, it’s possible she’s sick and you’re coming down with it too. I’ve definitely thought I was getting a migraine or allergies, only to be smacked with the most awful cold/flu ever 2 days later.
Pogo says
Migraines are the worst. I am dreading dealing with them postpartum!
Taking the minipill (which I think is ok during BFing) helped me re: period migraines. I didn’t get my period on it at all and had fewer migraines than without any bc.
Fiorocet does nothing for me and the triptans are contra-indicated for some of my other meds. I may have said this before but I find a small dose of diazepam helps me, though it definitely requires sleep. It lowers my blood pressure which stops the throbbing, and seems to help my neck and face muscles relax. I don’t get the Imitrex hangover, either.
lsw says
I’m so sorry from a fellow migraine sufferer. This doesn’t address the sleeping issue – which I totally feel you on, it’s a huge trigger for me – but about a year ago I got a separate prescription for Imitrex shots. It’s called Sumavel DosePro. You still need to make sure that a) your insurance will cover both and b) you don’t go over 9 doses a month (or whatever your doc says) for fear of rebound headaches, but they have been amazing for me. I use the pills when I can sense one coming on, but the shots are for when you wake up and you’ve already got a full-blown one. Or you couldn’t take the pill for whatever reason and taking it now wouldn’t be enough. It literally works within minutes. A major downside is I normally need to recline for a while after taking it – like if I take it before work, I wait a half hour on the couch before driving or anything like that. But it has honestly been a lifesaver for me.
NB the copay can be INSANE, but there is an online coupon you can clip where the co pay is wayyyyy less. And I don’t fill it that often because my pills are still first line of defense. But definitely get the coupon. I use the needle-less option – still hurts like hell, but easy disposal, etc.
UpstateNYatty says
HELP! This is a threadjack, but it is postpartum related! I am 6 1/2 mpp and I NEED CLOTHES! We had a very stressful first 5 months with my LO in and out of the hospital with very serious issues, and I still have SO MUCH baby weight to lose (25 lbs at least). I have no idea where or how to shop for my new/hopefully temporary pp body. I am only 5’1 and curvy to begin with, but was a 4P or 6P. I am currently at least a 10/12, but nothing fits right. I’m bigger all over, but especially bulky in the tummy still. I know I would look and feel better if I could figure out how to dress this foreign body. PLEASE HELP!!
MDMom says
I’m not clear if you are looking for casual or work clothes? Sounds like you don’t want to spend a lot of money if size is temporary. I should focus on flowy tops and tees with a blazer for work (and casual, but probably not doable in summer), slimmer fitting bottoms. I am not your size, but in general have found good value with everlane tees, h &m (good stretchy blazers and lots of cheap tops, I’m too short for their bottoms), and lauren Conrad for kohls (also good stretchy blazers and flowy tops for cheap).
Good luck. I know upgrading my wardrobe made me feel a lot better postpartum and hope it does the same for you.
UpstateNYatty says
Thank you! Sorry I did not specify (and oddly didn’t get emails for these replies), but I really need casual and work clothes. Work for me is business, but since being pregnant I really turned that into biz casual (oops). I’ve found a few very inexpensive and okay looking tops from Kohls and NY&Co. that work with cardigans and one temporary blazer, but I fear what I’m buying is cheap looking. But, you hit the nail on the head that I don’t want to spend a lot for temporary clothes. Thanks for your suggestions and encouragement!
Anon says
I just had to do the PP shopping trip. When I was still pregnant I bought two pairs of dress pants that didn’t button (they look like normal dress pants but the tops are just elastic) based on a recommendation from this site that are the greatest and work really well for the transition. My work dress code is casual, so I also went out and bought one dress and two looser tops from Target, two pairs of jeans that fit (one from Old Navy and one from the Gap) and several Free To Live shirts off Amazon (around $20 each). I ended up leaving work a few hours early on a Friday and trying on a TON of clothes to make sure what I got actually fit and I liked how I looked in it (even if I didn’t love the number on the tag).
UpstateNYatty says
Thanks for the suggestions! I will check out those tees, and seriously need a pair of jeans–I have nothing to wear on the weekends!
UpstateNYatty says
I just looked up the Free to Live shirts–they look awesome! How does sizing run?
MomAnon4This says
Are you still breastfeeding?
UpstateNYatty says
I’m not anymore, so I can’t even act like my wardrobe choices are limited by that! I lived in nursing tanks whenever I could for the first 5 1/2 months. Now that I’m thinking about it, I really need some new bras too, but who wants to make time for that shopping trip??
ChiLaw says
If you’re nursing/pumping, wrap dresses can be really convenient for that, and they have a lot of flexibility in size as your size changes. My body is, I guess, the same numerical size it was before pregnancy, but things have all shifted around (to my tummy, boo). This is weird but I am really liking sheath dresses for my new, less hourlglassy shape. I feel feminine and professional, but it requires zero thought to throw on a dress and zip it.
UpstateNYatty says
I loved sheath dresses before, but everything clings to my tummy now. It would probably help if I wore spanx religiously… but who can stand to when you’re already tired and uncomfortable?! I agree that wrap dresses work great (no longer bf/pumping), but again it’s my tummy. I think I am just expecting/waiting for clothes that don’t make me look like I actually weigh 25+ more than I would prefer to. I want my stomach to be hidden completely, but the reality is that it’s there!
FTMinFL says
I’m looking for commiseration, experiences, and tips here – my almost-8-month-old will transition from staying with my mother to starting daycare on Monday. I really like the daycare and think it will be a great fit for him and for our family for a lot of reasons, but I nonetheless have a lot of crazy FTM anxiety. How did your transition to daycare go? Tips for making the first couple of weeks easier? I’m sure I will make myself crazy for the first week while he is having a blast with new toys and people :)
MDMom says
I commiserate. Starting daycare is so hard! Try to start with half days if possible. My kid started at 4.5 months. I cried the weekend before and the first day when it was time to leave (his teacher was wonderful about this and gave me a hug). It slowly got better/easier overt the first 2 weeks or so. It helps immensely if you really like your daycare, which I do. Baby is now 12 months and loves his daycare. He gets to do all kinds of stuff there that he would never do at home like fingerpainting.
PinkKeyboard says
If you have a spouse/partner have them do drop off! Even if it isn’t possible forever (work schedules) it helps SO MUCH in the beginning. You get the fun part of picking them back up again and no worries if they cry or freak out since you won’t know. Instruct your spouse not to tell you if it’s bad.
CPA Lady says
^ this is genius.
MomAnon4This says
Feel free to call and check in. Ask them to text you photos, too – seeing my baby happy is so helpful to my anxiety!
anne-on says
Prep as much as you can the night before. Especially Sunday nights – that is usually when you’ll need to remember to bring in new diapers/wipes, clean crib bedding/blankets/loveys, as well as all the day’s food. Having my car pre-packed with that stuff at night made my life easier. Start a ‘checklist’ by the door – shoes, keys, ID, daycare bag with food, pump, whatever – just make sure you have it all before you leave the house. Prepare yourself for the inevitable daycare germs – she will get what all the other kiddos have, but I swear, it does taper off. Also buying 2-3 cheapo outfits (carters or consignment) to ‘live’ at daycare for each season was helpful so I didn’t have to constantly wash/return spit-up/blown out outfits immediately the next day.
Questions to ask potential daycare says
First time parent here, and touring a potential daycare tomorrow (for my 5 1/2 month old to attend in a couple of weeks). By potential, I mean the only daycare that actually has a spot for us. We are on several DC waitlists.
I’m nervous (see first time parent, above). Any questions I should ask or things I should look out for? We checked out this daycare when I was newly pregnant, but it’s different once I actually have a kid. Anything in particular I should look out for? Any tips appreciated.
I don’t know anyone with kids at this particular facility, and I really wish I could talk to other parents.
Spirograph says
You can ask for references. I mean, the daycare isn’t going to give you the name and # of parents who’ve complained about anything, but chances are there are some parents who’ve expressed willingness to talk to new families… I know we do this for our daycare. Otherwise, I’d just want to observe the class a little and see how the teachers interact with the kids. Ask about licensing, curriculum for the preschool classes if you’re planning to stick around for a few years, staff turnover.
Carrie M says
What facility is it? We were in two in the DC area and I have friends at others. Have you searched DC urban moms for feedback (take with grain of salt of course)?
Some thoughts: I’d ask about the policy for moving up to the next room/when and how that would happen; policy on fevers and illnesses (i.e., 24-hours fever free before kid can return? etc); when/where they have outdoor time; security and policy for back-up caregivers to pick up child; if you provide food once baby starts solids or if they do and, if so, what type; if you can leave extra breastmilk in their freezer (if you’re nursing/pumping); how much teacher turnover (which is not unusual); complaints/citations and how the center has responded (the latter is important to me – I want to know that they take things seriously and work to correct issues).
Questions to ask potential daycare says
Thanks! It’s the La Petite Academy on Michigan Avenue (near the MedStar Washington Hospital Center). All the DC Urban Mom (and other reviews I have found) are several years old, so I’m hesitant to rely too much.
Legally Brunette says
Do you belong to a DC neighborhood parents listserve? DC has many, including for Cleveland Park, Dupont, Adams Morgan, Tenley, etc. Sign up for one (or many) and post your question about this daycare on there. You can find them through Yahoo groups. You’re guaranteed to get lots of responses. I’d feel a little hesitant enrolling my child without hearing some recent feedback first.
Carrie M says
I don’t have experience there, but I just sent a note out to some other DC based parents. If I find anyone who knows the center, I will let you know. But I also agree with the comments below re asking for references from the Director.
EB0220 says
It’s so much different to look at a facility once you actually have the kid! I have two kids (2 & 4) and we’ve been in 6 daycares over the years – some good, some not so good. Here’s what I would recommend: If you are breastfeeding your baby and plan to continue, you should ask if the infant room staff is familiar with handling breastmilk and feeding breastfed babies. For example, bf babies typically don’t need as much volume as formula fed babies, and they need to use slower flow nipples so they won’t fuss when they get back to mama. (Kellymom is a great resource on this topic.) I’d also pay close attention to their use of baby parking lots. Most high quality daycares do not use jumpers and swings to park babies in, at least not frequently. Make sure babies are always held when being fed. Ask about their policies related to cribs and crib bedding. Does baby always get his/her own crib? Do you provide sheets? Do they allow swaddling blankets, lovies, pacifiers, etc? Verify their teacher – baby ratio (1:4 at least). Also, a good daycare will usually give you the name of a parent who is willing to be a reference, so I would definitely ask on the tour. Does the facility provide food, diapers, wipes, etc? Unless you’re picky or your child has allergies, the more they provide the better in my mind! Also, do note whether you connect with the head teacher in the infant room. This person is going to be part-childcare provider and part-therapist in your first few weeks back, so it’s important to have someone who is sympathetic and kind.
Anon says
+1 on the baby containers. Visit the center at least twice (more if possible) and go during off times (like 10 am and 2 pm). Pay special attention to where the kids are (being held or interacted with on the floor or in a container). Also pay attention to where and how babies are sleeping.
We chose our daycare when I was 12 weeks pregnant and toured the place one time over lunch, and had no idea what we should be looking for. We ended up pulling my baby after the first week. When our baby started there I realized the babies were in baby containers (swings/RNP/bouncers) ALL the time (I came to feed him over lunch, picked him up early, etc. so was there over a range of times). They had a cute little “curriculum” and daily schedules to give parents, but they didn’t actually follow it, and there was no way we would have realized this without visiting during a range of times.
The first day when I dropped him off they had me put him in a swing. The second day they told me to “just put him on the floor.” I dropped him off over a dozen times before we pulled him and never once handed him to a person or took him from a person when I picked him up. I was actually willing to live with this, but what I couldn’t live with was that they blatantly disregarded most recommendations for safe sleep habits.
Maddie Ross says
I don’t know that I agree with the idea that “most high quality daycares don’t use swings or jumpers.” We’ve been in two daycares – both the highest rated by our state agencies, one small and one large but the most highly rated by parents in town. Both had various swings, mamaroos, bumbos, mats, boppies, and later jumperoos for the infant rooms. I think it’s important to make sure they don’t “park” your baby there more than you do at home, and make sure that they encourage napping only in the crib unless there’s a special issue (reflux, etc.), but with a 1:4 ratio mandated by most places, it’s impossible for all to be held or asleep at all times. I do agree with the idea of needing to be held while feeling – at least until the 11/12 month stage.
Go with your gut. Honestly. We toured several facilities and just “knew” the first time. When we moved, we had to go through it all again. Make sure you click with the director. Make sure you click with the lead baby teacher(s).
Anon in NYC says
We toured an affordable (for the area) daycare 3-4 times that had a lot of babies in bouncers and a more expensive daycare that also had bouncers/boppies but used them more sparingly. Both are well rated by our state. Your own personal comfort level with the use of those items, however, is an entirely different matter. FWIW, my daughter loved the bouncer. And one of the ways daycare taught my daughter to hold her bottle herself (before she could sit) was to prop her up in the boppy so she wasn’t laying flat on the floor.
I agree that sometimes (a lot of times) it’s just a gut instinct. We toured a number of facilities during my pregnancy and a handful post-baby, and I just knew.
Clementine says
What everyone else said above is great, but here’s one more I wouldn’t have thought of: Do they allow EI providers (speech, PT, etc.) to come and provide services within the center?
I would never have thought of this, but friends of ours ended up needing to make a big daycare switch when kiddo needed some services and the daycare’s option was basically, ‘well, you have to pull them out, have them get their services, and bring them back when they’re done’. On the other hand, our center has a program specifically for kids with extra needs and there are always EI providers circulating through.
Questions to ask potential daycare says
Thank you for all the responses so far. I’m taking copious notes!
RDC says
Everyone has excellent advice. I would just say to tour various centers even though only one has a spot for you. Like others said, a lot of it is gut feeling. We put our kid in the only available center, which was “meh” to fine. When another spot opened up, we toured it, and just liked the second center it so much better. Seeing different centers gives you a much better feel of what to look for, what the differences are, etc. You might decide you love the one you’ve got a spot at, decide it’s ok but to stay on other lists, or decide you need to explore other options.
NewMomAnon says
I wish I had asked about staff rotation! In the infant classrooms, because the ratios are so low, my center relied on a large cast of “floaters” to cover shift changes, sick days and break times. It was really disconcerting to walk into daycare with a pre-verbal infant and not know the names of any of the teachers.
Also ask about procedures to track things like feeding preferences, diaper preferences, sleeping preferences, etc. Because of the floater situation and the rather loose communication protocols at my center, my kiddo was given other kids’ clothes, diapers, and sometimes bottles (not the contents, just the physical bottles, or there woulda been h*ll to pay). I also came to rely heavily on the iPhone app updates, since the person who was in the classroom in the morning usually wouldn’t be there in the evening for an end-of-day report.
Butter says
Was just coming here to say I love the app my daycare has! I looove getting push notifications throughout the day every time he has a diaper change, gets a bottle, falls asleep or wakes up, with details about whether he fell asleep in the crib or in his teacher’s arms. This is something I never would have noticed or cared about before actually dropping him off that first week, and now it’s one of my favorite things about his daycare (that and the wonderful care he gets).
I guess another thing is that as silly as it is at this age (under 6 months), I really feel like the center and his providers are invested in helping him to develop, and I’ve learned a lot from them just these last few months. From getting him to nap in his crib, to sensory exercises, there’s just been some nice little tips and tricks I’ve learned.
Meg Murry says
Honestly, I think you’ve gotten some good advice here, but it sounds like your choices right now are either: take this spot, hope you magically get off a waitlist in a few weeks, hire a nanny or find some way to extend your leave until you get off a different waitlist.
With that in mind, now that you have an actual baby and this isn’t all theoretical, I think the key is going to be “do you feel comfortable leaving your baby here?” If you start to have some tingling spide-y senses that something seems off, you can ask probing questions about that. What you are mainly looking for is that the daycare and kids seem relatively clean and that the staff appears to be actively paying attention to the babies.
If you decide this is a place you can see leaving your baby, here are some logistical questions:
-How much money do you have to cough up before the first day (deposit + first month? anything else? Is the first month pro-rated if you don’t start at the beginning?)
-How do they handle transitioning the baby in? My daycare did a 3 day phase in for our first kid, where you leave the baby for a little longer each day, and didn’t start kids on a Monday (too much other Monday-ness going on).
-Get a copy of the calendar and see if they have a lot of days off so you and DH can plan vacation days or backup coverage. Out daycare is closing between Christmas and New Year’s this year, so that’s going to take some juggling.
-What paperwork do you need? We needed vaccination records from the pediatrician, and proof of income since our daycare is does a sliding scale for fees.
NewMomAnon says
Dear best friends and immediate family getting married this summer –
I love each of you and want to say yes to all of the bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers, brunches, manicure appointments, groom dinners, invite addressing get-togethers, and other festivities. But there are four of you getting married this summer, and I am a single working mom of a toddler, and time with my daughter is precious, and hiring babysitters four times a month for the next three months isn’t realistic or financially feasible. I’m sorry. I will prioritize the wedding weekend and send you a lovely card for the gift-giving events I cannot attend, and wish I could participate in the other events.
Love, NewMomAnon
LegalMomma says
So much commiseration. Good luck!!
(except one of the weddings I have this summer is my little sisters and I am the MOH which means I have to attend most events) – I think we have exactly one weekend free between now and the middle of August because of wedding related events in addition to our normal summer craziness.
NewMomAnon says
One of these is my brother and fortunately, they have kept things very low-key and welcoming of my kiddo (bless them). But I have a friend who is usually super chill and her wedding is turning into party drama! All weekend bachelorette party out of town, two showers with almost no notice, a full weekend of out of town wedding plans, and none of it toddler friendly (toddler was not invited to the wedding and all the parties start at her bedtime or just before, which is the WORST). Another friend is having a bachelorette dinner/evening of drinks, a shower and probably some stuff the weekend of the wedding, and I haven’t even heard from the fourth yet…
I wouldn’t mind, except that I am loving the stage my kiddo is in right now, and I really, really don’t want to miss a whole summer of it just to dash around to obligatory parties….
Lurker says
Could you bring your little one to some events? You could give her some paper and she could pretend to help address envelopes too. Of course, ask the bride first if this is something she’d want. Personally, I’d rather have my friend and her baby there rather than my friend not come at all. Not for the bachelorette party but for a shower, brunch or other similar event.
Anonymous says
I’m sure some variation of this question has been asked a million times here: I’m traveling to Istanbul with my kids for a few days, and we’ll be staying with family. They don’t have a crib or pack-n-play, and suggested our 18-month-old sleep on a blow-up twin mattress. My initial reaction was that this was a crazy idea, but my husband pointed out that it might not be so different from the mat he sleeps on at daycare. Any thoughts? Should we just ask them to buy a cheap pack-n-play to play it safe? I’m assuming it won’t be too hard to come by a $50-ish pack-n-play in Istanbul, but I really don’t know.
PinkKeyboard says
I would need some sort of baby containment but I’m also on team you will sleep in a crib till you are 25.
NewMomAnon says
I don’t know how I would feel about an air mattress (possibility for deflation during the night seems unsafe), but my kiddo slept on a regular twin mattress on the floor at my parents’ house when she was 18 months. It was a rough transition, but it didn’t feel unsafe. We pushed one side up against a wall (without outlets or vents), and put a pool noodle under the fitted sheet on the other side to keep her from wiggling off the mattress at night (lots of tightly rolled towels or linens would work in a pinch). No top sheet, just her usual blankies from her bed at home and a small travel pillow for her head.
The other time we traveled at that age, she slept in my bed with me and pillows tucked along the sides of the bed.
But then, my kiddo has never tolerated sleeping in a pack and play, so that would be a waste of $50 for me.
RDC says
You can usually check a PNP for free on flights – might be worth checking with the airline. Unless you don’t want one more thing to take, which is understandable.
Maddie Ross says
I would definitely double-check on this. The one time we took one it counted as one of our free checked bags on Delta (using credit card rewards). Car seats and stroller do not count towards that, so it was a little surprising.
Anon in NYC says
I don’t think you can do this on United (it says only car seats and strollers are free), but it makes sense to check their policies and/or call them.
anon says
Twin matterss on the floor – possibly with mom and dad playing the part of the pool noodle. That’s what we did recently and my daughter loved it since it made her feel more secure in a strange place.
Anonymous says
KidCo PeaPod travel bed – it’s like a toddler sized mini bed/tent that can fit in your checked luggage. Toddler can get used to it at home which will ease sleeping in new location. Plus it zips closed so you don’t have to worry about him getting up and wandering around at night when you are sleeping off jet lag.
CLMom says
Try Dock-a-Tot
EB0220 says
I know there was a post on college savings last year, but can we revisit? Is anyone doing something other than a 529 plan? Are you putting any bounds in place via a trust? Maybe I’m overthinking this, but I’m not that enthusiastic about 529 plans. What if my kids get a scholarship, choose a state school with low tuition or decide not to go to college at all? My husband and I contribute some right now (about $5k per kid per year) and my parents are planning to start contributing significant sums in the next few years. From what I can find, it seems I would open an investment account owned by a trust for my kids if I wanted to control how the money became available to them while still allowing it to be used for something other than education. Anyone have any specific experience with this?
anne-on says
Your reasons above are why we only keep a nominal amount in a 529 plan. Most of our kiddos college fund is in an investment account that is weighted to change risk tolerance as he gets older (we reallocate towards less risky funds as he gets older, and periodically reinvest some of the gains back into ‘safer’ investments). We also have a cash account, mostly to keep us under the FDIC insured limits for our the account.
Meg Murry says
You may be above the income limit to qualify, but you can take withdrawals from your contributions to a Roth IRA without penalty to pay for qualified education expenses for you, your children or grandchildren. That way the account stays in your name, not the kids, and you can use it as a retirement account.
Also, if your kids don’t go to college, they can sign the 529 over to a qualified family member when they turn 18 – that includes parents, brothers and sisters and first cousins. My parents used one of the plans that was a precursor to the 529s (they bought in-state tuition credits at the current rate) all in my name, with the understanding that if I didn’t go to an in-state school I would (and did) sign them over to my sister.
Probably not what you were thinking of, but my husband and I have rental investment properties, and it just worked out that one of the mortgages will be done when my oldest is college age, and another when my youngest is ready for college – so that will be extra income for us those years that we can use toward school expenses.
Sarabeth says
There are actually a lot of loopholes that make it easy to get money out of a 529. If the beneficiary gets scholarships, you can take out an equivalent amount. You can also change the beneficiary, and you don’t actually need to use the money that gets taken out to pay for the beneficiary’s education, as long as those expenses are being incurred.
Lyssa says
Kat, we really need a subject-matter post on this issue!!!