Everyone Thursday: Marching Wedges

nude heel wedgeIt’s rare to find a shoe under $50 that has good reviews — which may be why the Payless pump that many readers love, and the Merona wedges that readers loved before that stick in my mind so much.  I may have found a new one while doing our roundup of beige heels the other day: these low wedges from Dirty Laundry, which come in four colors (all patent), in medium and wide widths. They’re $39.99 at Zappos.  Dirty Laundry DL Marching


  1. I’m a firm believer in putting one’s own oxygen mask first, but my family is emerging from a period where that just wasn’t possible for me (husband in hospital plus sick kids plus crazy period at work). As I lift my head fully above the water, I realize that I need to engage in a period of more focused self-care. One night of taking a bath and reading a book just won’t cut it. What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself and regain equilibrium? I’m thinking maybe a stretch of taking a class one evening a week? Any ideas?

    • Good for you for recognizing this and taking the time for some self-care!

      As for what to do, I think it’s completely personal. For me, what recharges me most is doing the things that make me feel like myself again. I’ve always been a big runner, so going out for a run makes me feel great. Same with yoga and hiking in the woods with my dog. I also love baking bread (and never have time with kids/work), so baking bread on a weekend during nap time is wonderful.

      What are those things for you? And if you aren’t sure, this is a great opportunity to figure out what your things are.

      • Mine is similar. When I think of my happy place, it’s working out, cooking good quality (relatively healthy) food, and baking. So, I’ll go exercise on a Saturday morning, run to the specialty grocery store by myself and spend as long as I want wandering the aisles, and bake something that day while the kids are sleeping. And most importantly, I’ll let my husband do the dishes.

        I also like photography, so maybe I’d take a half day and find an interesting place that relatively near me to take some pictures that I’d want to hang in my house.

    • Philanthropy Girl says:

      I am terrible at this – following to get some good ideas. As a wife and a mom, it’s hard.

      In my previous life as a single person, one thing that really helped me was to make a list of things that brought joy – I think I had 25 of them or so. I tried to do a few of them a week. I kept it hanging in my cubicle for easy reference. Some were simple (take a walk by the lake) some were more complex (plan a weekend away).

    • MomAnon4This says:

      I am planning on taking a day off from work. I have maternity leave coming up this summer, but I don’t think I can wait until then – it’s my busy season but I think taking off 1 day (a Friday) will be OK. I plan to go for an (indoor) swim at the gym, see my baby at his preschool/daycare, even just LEISURELY do household chores while listening to my own music/radio/podcasts — just getting a moment to PLAN and PREPARE instead of feeling OVERWHELMED with things hitting me will be helpful.

      I am finding that I am even liking the fantasizing process of what a day off for me would look like!

    • CPA Lady says:

      If I were in your shoes, I would take a Thursday and Friday off work and send the kids to daycare/school. Do some combination of the following: pedicure/haircut/wax, run a nagging errand that has been hanging over my head, sit on the couch in a completely silent and empty house, sit on my back porch and day drink a glass of champagne. Maybe clean up one room of the house too. While listening to music and slightly buzzed from the day drinking.

    • The only thing I could add to what has been already suggested is to read a novel you’ve been wanting to read. Especially something fun and escapist, whatever that means for you. I always feel like this is a good mental break for my brain.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Spending time with friends is always my “oxygen mask.” Getting drinks or brunch at a place where someone serves us, talking about adult things, and feeling loved and welcome – the best refresh I can think of.

    • Anonymama says:

      Signing up for a class is good because it has a definite date that you can really plan around, so it is more likely that you will actually regularly do it. I find that having something set for the standard weekly schedule helps out so much. I do a team sport, which is nice because it’s exercise and social at the same time, and also makes me accountable to other people so I have to go.

    • Anonymous says:

      1) My husband does kid duty on Sunday mornings. I wake up when I want, take a long shower, lounge in my robe while reading for a bit. Then finally make my way downstairs. Every other morning of the week, I’m trying to fit in a run with the dog (who’s a handful), then fit shower/make-up/hair around getting the kids ready, then managing breakfast for everyone. Sunday mornings are amazing.

      2) Encouraging my husband to go out with the guys and my au pair to go out with her friends…on the same night. Kids are in bed by 7:30 and I can do what I want, make what I want for dinner (or order delivery), watch what I want on TV, tackle a project, or whatever I want. I’m usually disappointed if my husband arrives back home any earlier than 11:00pm.

    • Anonymous says:

      After my husband was out of town for 2.5 months (including weekends) during a stretch of time that I billed 70 hours per week, I went to a spa for a weekend and spent lots of time hiking, spa-ing and reading.

    • Anonymous says:

      I indulge in a monthly massage. It’s a must for me.

  2. DC Wonkette says:

    Has anyone found a good maternity version of the jockey skimmies? I like that they’re lighter than spanx and want something to get me through the summer with minimal thigh rub :-). Thanks!

    • I actually wore mine until at least 7 months, maybe 8. They’re so stretchy so depending on when you’re due, keep that in mind. I also suffer from thigh rub – normally I never wear dresses, but they were all I wanted to wear from July (6 months) on. I didn’t wear my skimmies regularly because something about the way my body shifted, I didn’t have thigh rub problems. It was a big surprise so maybe you’ll get lucky.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes! I just spent a lot of time researching options. I love this: Belevation Womens Maternity Shapewear Mid-Thigh Pettipant from amz.

      It says it’s shape wear but it is not constricting at all, it’s very stretchy and light. I also bought the Assets brand but those are definitely tighter and heavier.

    • Anonymous says:

      I wore my jockey skimmies one size up basically right until I delivered. Was probably wearing them when I went into labour.

    • DC Wonkette says:

      Thanks so much!!

      • Belevation!!!! This is such a late comment but I love them so much. Two pregnancies and they are all I wore

  3. EB0220 says:

    A quick search of this site reveals lots of talk about pregnancy and immediately postpartum “uniforms”. What about a 1 year + postpartum work uniform? Apparently I used to have style but I now have zero time or energy to put into this. Just want something reasonably professional and somewhat modern, age appropriate etc and interested in others’ ideas.

    • I totally have done this, because I have less than two minutes to get dressed in the morning. I have four Lands End ponte sheath dresses that I pair with various cardigans, and about four skirts (black, green, navy, pink pattern) and two pants (grey, black) that I can pair with the same cardigans or any of six shirts. I narrowed my wardrobe colors to black, green, blue, purple, coral, and grey so that everything matches or at least coordinates. I rarely need to wear a full suit, so I keep four blazers in my office that coordinate with my dresses and skirts (and one of my skirts and one of my pants are the bottom half of my two suits). I actually love this approach.

      • I want to do this and that would be a perfect color scheme for me. I’m trying to only buy clothes in “good” colors from now on, but it’s tough to try and get rid of perfectly good clothing, even though it’s sitting there unworn.

        • same anon says:

          I didn’t get rid of anything perfectly good, but didn’t have much perfectly good since my body changed shape so much. Realizing which colors I really look good in helped — and luckily those colors also go together pretty well. I forgot to add in goldenrod yellow, which does work for me and which appears in a couple of pieces in my wardrobe in addition to the other colors. Now I don’t buy things unless they are one of those colors!

    • Anon in NYC says:

      Dresses (or skirt + shirt) + cardigans/blazers. Lands End is a good fit for my budget right now. I wear a lot of muted colors (and a lot of black and gray) so I can easily make things work. I used to want/need fun blouses, skirts in fun colors, etc. Eventually (even pre-kids) I realized that I just want to look professional and I don’t really care about having fun with my wardrobe. So basics it is!

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I have five dresses – three black, two gray. Three skirts (two gray, one black). I am just now able to fit back into a couple pairs of pants, so those will join my rotation, but haven’t been included for a while now.

      I have a small handful of “easy care” tops that go with all the pants and all the skirts, 5 cardigans (two shades of berry, one teal, one wine colored, one gray) that go with all the pants and all the skirts, and a couple of suit jackets that match the gray skirt and gray dress so I can wear a suit if I need to. I also have a navy suit, but it’s always dirty or at the cleaners (?) so it isn’t part of my “regular” rotation. The “fun” in my wardrobe comes from a bunch of scarves that I rotate and some necklaces.

      For me, the “uniform” was more out of body fluctuating realities than anything else; I lost weight and was able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, then gained weight and wasn’t, and I’ve just stuck with the few items that continued to fit/flatter after I gained weight. Now I’m losing weight again, but I’ll probably stick with the small wardrobe….it makes dressing so much easier.

    • Anonymama says:

      I think a lot depends on what you like to wear. I ended up with a lot of black, and a few colored pieces that I’d wear with black/white gray. With 3-4 pairs of shoes, i start with which shoes I wanted to wear, and shoe 1 meant ankle pants or pencil skirt, shoe 2 meant long trousers, shoe 3 meant pencil skirt or dress, then if bottoms were a color i’d wear black or gray top, black cardigan or jacket, or if it was black I’d wear colored shirt or sweater, black jacket, or all black with colored scarf. Get things that don’t need to be ironed, get rid of things that are stained or worn out. Also only buy things that are easy to make an outfit out of with little thought.

    • Meg Murry says:

      For me, my go-to mix-and-match garanimals are:
      -neutral pants – gray, charcoal or camel. When I find a pair I like that fits me well enough, I buy it in 2 or 3 colors.
      -colored T-shirt plus black cardigan or black T-shirt plus colored cardigan
      I also have a few pairs of black pants that get worn occasionally, but I am super sensitive to blacks that don’t quite match, so I save them for days when I have time to pick out top pieces that aren’t black, or for the time of year when I only need short sleeves.

      For when I need to get a little bit dressier, I can trade out the cardigan for a blazer, and I have a couple of short-sleeved or 3/4 sleeved sweater shells (bottom half of twinsets) that are a little nicer than a blazer. I also have a handful of dresses (3 of the same LE 3/4 sleeved ponte plus a couple of others) that I can wear when I want to make an effort, but I rarely bother.

      I usually only have 2 pairs of work shoes at any given time, and any of my outfits could go with either of the shoes so I don’t have to spend time figuring out where that one specific pair of shoes went. I also buy black socks and black trouser socks in bulk so I don’t have to waste time matching up any particular pair of socks.

      On the weekends I wear the same t-shirts with jeans or leggings and knit skirts and hoodies or the sturdiest cardigans.

      The thing that has made the biggest difference to me is to eliminate items that don’t match every other item in my wardrobe. So even though I like the way I look in navy and chocolate brown, black and charcoal are easier to match everything with, from purses to winter coats to shoes. So I got rid of all of my brown except a couple of special occasion dresses, and I have just a couple of navy pieces (kept all the way in the back of the closet so I don’t mistake them for black in dim lighting) that I’ll occasionally pull out when I have a little more time.

      Oh, and everything I own is machine washable, and all of it is on the darker side – I don’t own whites, creams or pale pinks, because I’m too much of a slob. That way I don’t have to sort my laundry, or if I do sort it’s just pants in one load and tops in another

      • Meg Murry says:

        I meant to say the short sleeved sweaters are dressier than t-shirts, not blazers, duh.

        Also, I know a lot of people like to wear dresses because it’s just one item and done instead of trying to match shirt and pants or skirt, but for me the key factor is if I’ve had enough alone time in the shower for an appropriately thorough shave with no missed patches, so I tend to skip dresses, except in the hottest parts of summer or when thick black tights are appropriate. I can’t make it though the day without getting a run in hose (half the time I’m too impatient to even get them on without a run) so that doesn’t work or me .

    • AwayEmily says:

      Not a uniform recommendation per se, but a related tip for saving time on outfit-choosing: move everything that does not fit you comfortably OUT of your closet completely. You don’t have to get rid of it, but get it out of sight (under the bed, coat closet). I’ve found that when your closet contains only items you feel great wearing, it becomes infinitely easier to choose an outfit.

    • I have several of the same thing in different colors. Found a skirt that fit? Bought it in black, gray, and navy. Bought the jackets to match. Found a sheath dress? Bought it in black, gray, and navy. I have the same shirt in white (two of them), pink, blue, and deep pink. Same shoes in black and nude. When I’m bored, I switch up the accessories — I have a bunch of scarves and a pretty good jewelry collection. Scarves and jewelry don’t need to fit and rarely are unflattering. But for clothes, I really have only three outfits, it’s just that it seems more like 15 because it’s the same outfit in different colors, with different jewelry.

    • Good question… I am also 1+ year PP and having a similar nothing-to-wear and no-time-or-energy-to-fix-it problem! My pre-pregnancy clothes “fit” but look dumpy and dowdy on my new body. My body has changed shape so much I have to belt everything, and nothing is flattering to me even-smaller-than-ever chest. Not to mention that I am in a stint of needing suits and have realized that mine look so dated; admittedly, they were all pretty old before pregnancy but now even my plain grey & black one look “off” in the cut or shape. But suits are so expensive to replace and also expensive to tailor so I just keep wearing them. I totally get now how Frump just happens.
      I love all these suggestions for an automated wardrobe. I just need to find the will to find the right pieces. And also to start thinking about getting *better* options instead of *more* options. I would probably buy 5 more pairs of black pants because I’m conditioned to think that’s the easiest thing.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        When I came back from maternity leave, I used a personal shopper at Macy’s, and she turned me onto Calvin Klein suits – relatively inexpensive (each piece costs about $100), nothing too trendy, and you can usually get a skirt, pants, and jacket in the same fabric (sometimes multiple skirt cuts, too). It’s been helpful for my evolving body shape the last couple years.

        • I wear Calvin Klein suit separates almost exclusively for regular workdays. I have pieces in blue, black and charcoal – and yes, they have different skirt cuts that can be really cute!

      • “I totally get now how Frump just happens.” Yes! Also mom jeans. I feel like I had this completely appropriate wardrobe and then with maternity clothes, post-partum yoga-pants for everything, and maternity leave, suddenly it was like I’d been in a time warp and everything I had was out of fashion but I also wasn’t sure what was in fashion and forgot how I’d just sort of “known” how to dress myself before. Plus I feel like I spent 20 years learning to dress one body and now I’ve got this new one that’s totally new and requires all kinds of experimenting to re-learn what’s flattering.

        • Exactly! And who has the energy for that? (written while commuting home at 10:52 pm because I finally had to suck it up and miss bedtime to get some stuff done at work)

    • Anyone have recommendations for where we can get some of these classic/standard types pieces to work into the rotation? I get frustrated because everything I see is very trendy, which I find, makes it difficult to implement these types of ideas for wardrobes.

      • My basic pieces are Banana Republic (lightweight wool suiting and fitted no iron button up shirts), Brooks Brothers (plain black skirt suit, navy blazer, jacket, and cardigan), and Talbots (two sheath dresses, all other button up shirts). I used to do J Crew for all my suits, but the sizing doesn’t work on me anymore and their suits have gone fashiony.

      • Anon in NYC says:

        For me, Lands End, J Crew, Classiques Entier (sometimes), and Brooks Brothers for sheath dresses. If I’m willing to put in a little bit more time, sometimes I’ll navigate Nordstrom’s website.

        I tend to buy wool cardigans, and I focus on J Crew, Banana Republic, and occasionally Nordstrom’s.

        For skirts, I often stick with J Crew No. 2 pencil (wool, not the cotton which stretches out and wrinkles too much for me), and I’ve had some luck with Halogen’s The Skirt.

        I have blazers from all over – The Limited, J Crew, Nordstrom’s, etc.

        Sweaters have typically been Banana or J Crew.

        I struggle with blouses and shoes. I will also say that I’m not a huge shopper and I don’t tend to look for interesting stores. I’ve never bought anything from ASOS, and for some reason I rarely consider Ann Taylor as an option. I also tend to abstain until I need to buy something.

    • Sarabeth says:

      Skinny pants in black, grey, and navy (I believe these are J Crew and Boden).
      Nice merino wool tee (Ibex brand) in about seven colors – mostly jewel tones.
      V-neck merino cardigan in grey, navy, purple, red, and chartreuse (Boden and Halogen).
      Black chelsea boots or grey oxfords (Merrell and Nisolo, respectively).
      Mix and match as needed. Seriously, I wear this outfit in some version every day to my business casual office. I don’t think anyone notices how repetitive it is, and if they do notice, they certainly don’t actually care.

  4. I have the Target version of these (in flats, not wedges) and they are very much Target quality. I think they looked good for a few months of very limited wear, but they’ve since scuffed badly and started cracking (they’re 100% plastic). They were also a literal pain to break in.

    I still wear them, because I’m cheap, and nude patent flats are such a go-to, but I’m thinking shelling out the cash for the Cole Haan Talia is probably the best idea in the long term. Maybe someday.

    In other news, I have hot flashes now from clomid so that’s fun!

  5. Any suggestions on what to send an 8-year-old boy who just broke his arm? He’s heartbroken bc he will have to miss baseball season.

    • MomAnon4This says:

      Baseball cards? Pokemon cards?

    • Philanthropy Girl says:

      Does he have a gaming system you could send him a baseball game for? What about tickets for him and a parent to go to a minor league game? Kids’ biographies of baseball players?

      Or if you want to get totally away from baseball – what about a cool Lego set? Tickets to the movies? Or a movie night gift set (movie/netflix gift card, soda, popcorn, boxed candy)

  6. First Class Problem says:

    I am 4 months into a year old severance agreement with a company I was not happy with anyway, at full pay. I am having a baby soon, and have been doing consulting work and spending time with my other kiddo while taking it somewhat easy until #2 arrives in early June. My plan had been to start looking for FT work at the end of the year, with the idea of starting a new role in approx early 2017 or so, when #2 is 6+ months old and my non compete is up. I’ve got background and connections (and am doing consulting) so don’t anticipate a major issue stepping back in, but worst case, our family can survive without my income.

    Whelp, I started a conversation with a company that just made me an offer. Conversations had been casual toward the end of the year, then they reached back out a month or so ago and were all but drooling when I told them I was willing to consider a chat. The offer is a VERY nice salary (more than I was making at oldjob), less responsibility in terms of people management but more tailored to my interest in really delving into the industry and relationship building (more of a BD/ cop dev role than department mgmt, which was my old).

    The downside: (1) The role is in an office, so I’d be out of the house 8-5 or 8-6 or so, while my old gig and eventual ideal new gig in 2017 would be more flexible in terms of work arrangement. More importantly (2) I give up the next 9 months to spend time with my Kid 1, and have a nice long maternity leave with Kid 2.

    If this role were offered to me any time after say, September of this year, I’d take it hands down. But taking it now, diving in, then ramping down (no travel, limited in-office days during the Very Last Weeks of pregnancy, then mat leave of some kind, probably minimal [surely unpaid, but minimal due to having just started…]) seems like a poor idea. They know I’m pregnant and it hasn’t really come up yet.

    A. Start a conversation about some kind of start now then ramp up in the fall
    B. Take it, but make sure expectations are set around When Baby Comes
    C. Ask if they’d hold the role until the fall (?? They’ve been talking to me since Dec, but I know they want to get someone in….I also know they want my background)
    Ca. Say no thanks if they are unwilling to do a fall start
    Cb. Say yes if they are unwilling to do a fall start and throw all my new money at the problem (remember, I’m getting paid a full salary from my old role, plus this new role which is about 25% more than my old role…) and do my best to perform well while pregnant

    Half of me says take it and throw money at it, the other half says enjoy this time with the family and see what’s around in the fall.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      My first choice would be C. That’s what I did when I got a new job while about 7 months pregnant (it helped that a lot of new people were starting at the same time so it was mutually convenient). I’d say something like, “this sounds like a great opportunity and I’m very interested. As you know, I’m currently X months pregnant and due in early June. I have been planning on a maternity leave of about 6 months and ramping back up to work in early January. Would it be possible to set a start date in January?”

      If C doesn’t work, I’d have a hard time saying no because I’m pretty risk averse about stuff like that. So I would probably say yes and set expectations for maternity leave. “I understand that a January start date won’t work. I’d be happy to start in April, but I will be having a baby in early June and plan to take 6 months leave at that point.” But if you think that waiting for something else to come up makes sense, both financially and in that you think you will find a better opportunity, saying no might be a good choice for you.

      • Anonymous says:

        Frankly, I don’t even need six months leave. My old company would have given me 3, [email protected] 60% and 1 at full salary. I’d be OK taking 3 unpaid months with this gig (I’ll still have 100% pay from my severance) , but I’d never start the conversation there.

        The nature of the role is one where it’s harder to start and then stop vs start later, but it isn’t as if no progress could be made in the 2-3 months that I’d start. It’s also an executive level individual contributor role, so not something where I could set up work for a lot of others to carry forward in my absence (which is what I did last Mat leave when j had a big team under me). Think building industry relationships, partnerships, that sort of thing.

    • I wound up with an involuntary 1 yr maternity leave, so I’d take it in an instant. But you seem to feel either confident about your ability to find something else (as good?) if you turn this down or are ambivalent about going back to work at all.

      • Anonymous says:

        As good in terms of replacing my old salary, but maybe not such an interesting opportunity. And not necessarily at the moment I want the role, but I’d say 6 months of job searching is very reasonable. I have background that enables me to go after jobs that are fairly available (think, VP of marketing) as well as more interesting roles which would take some networking and nurturing to develop. The one I have on the table is more like the latter, which is more interesting to me and would hands down be my choice if I were writing this with a 3-5 month old in my lap.

    • pockets says:

      Do you want this job, or do you want the time home with your family? It seems like you want the time with your family and there’s no shame in that. You’re in a situation where you don’t need to be putting the food on the table, and you seem confident that you can find a position when you want to. If this job came along so easily, it’s likely that another job will come along. It’s not that likely that this is your dream job and once in a lifetime opportunity. There is always time for work; your children are only little once.

  7. MomAnon4This says:

    A, but postpone rampup until post-baby post-maternity “leave”

  8. Fertility says:

    I’m probably way too late here and will need to repost this tomorrow…

    I am (admittedly overly) worried about my fertility for a couple of reasons. We’re not going to TTC for another year, and I realize that it’s not helpful to stress about it and that I won’t really be able to see a doctor about it until after a year of not getting pregnant. However, I wanted to run two situations by you ladies to see what your experiences have been.

    1) I’ve realized since I stopped BC last year (for reasons other than TTC) that my period is only about 21-23 days long. I know that anything less than 21 days is when OBs start worrying.

    2) We’re currently using a combined condom/sympto-thermal method of BC, and I purchased Wondo strips to further confirm when I am ovulating. However, for the past two months I haven’t had a single positive ovulation strip, and that’s with 10 days of twice-a-day testing during my most likely fertile days.

    Have any of you had either a very short cycle and/or all negative ovulation strips and easily conceived anyways? Or had difficulty conceiving? I guess I’d just like to know, in advance, if these things are going to be issues I should be aware of.

    • MDMom says:

      How long since you went off bcp? I think sometimes your cycle can take a while to regulate and you might have a few anovulatory cycles (though definitely not everyone), especially if you have been lb then a long time and are thin and I think over 30? I had concern about this too. My cycles werent that short, they were 27_28 days but luteal phase was only 10 days on avg based on temps. I sometimes got positive opks but my positives were never darker than control. Just same intensity. If you have nothing approaching positive and it’s been more than 6 months since going off pill, check in with your doctor. All the data caused a lot of anxiety for me. In the end, we conceived in 6th month/7th cycle.

    • Anonymous says:

      Short cycle- conceived very first month on first time trying – we were like teenagers asking ‘does that really happen?’ especially since we were trying later than I ‘should’ have been ovulating for my 23 day cycle. Conceived fraternal twins on second month on second time trying. Husband is still vaguely annoyed we have three kids but he only got three months of me constantly wanting to garden regardless of how tired/stressed I was. If your cycle is shorter you are actually slightly more likely to conceive twins (can look up the link on that if you really want it). YMMV of course. I think weight and overall healthy lifestyle are bigger factors than cycle length (ancedata from friends/family). Given your short cycle I would just try the every second day method vs. stressing out about determining when you ovulate – at least at first. The only month of trying I didn’t get pregnant is when we tried based on when the ovulation sticks told me I ‘should’ be ovulating.

      • Anonymous says:

        Just reread about your testing results – have you tried testing every single day for a month? You may be like me and ovulate very late in your shorter cycle.

        • Fertility says:

          Not every day, but I’ve been doing the sympto-thermal method for almost a year now and am pretty good at predicting when I should de ovulating based on my temperature rise. Thanks for your responses! This has made me feel a bit better.

    • Why are you waiting another year? My only wish was that we’d start trying earlier. Even if you conceive immediately, you still have 9 months to get things in order. I doubt any OB would start working you up for infertility before you’ve ‘tried’ for awhile, so I wouldn’t stress too much about all your testing results and cycle length just yet – it could be fine!

      I don’t mean to be flippant – I know there are real challenges that cause people to delay TTC – but for us, we were mentally ready and just so focused on the physical stuff/hard numbers (house, cars, salary, commute) that we waited longer than I really would have liked, considering its been 18 months and we’ve had no luck.