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Now that my son’s bath toy collection has grown (even to include toys that are not necessarily bath toys but have now become them), I needed to find a way to store all of them.
I found this product, and the best part is that it involves keeping the toys within the bathtub itself. Instead of collecting the toys at the end of the bath and moving them to a container that lives outside of the tub, I just scoop everything into this basket and let it drain over the tub. It’s not the best looking solution, but it’s definitely the easiest!
This is $12.99 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime. Bath Toy Organizer
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
EP-er says
You guys — It is only day three, but I don’t hate virtual learning! I was a ball of unspoken anxiety, mostly because I was getting that energy from other moms. My kids are in 3rd & 7th grade, so a little older, and husband & I are both working from home. The technology is working fine & the kids are engaged. They can get on their meetings themselves! I picked up some materials for the 3rd grader from the school. Her teacher is the teacher tech lead for the schools and has her act together. Most of the 7th grader’s books are on-line, but there is material pick up next week. It isn’t what we are used to, but you know what? It’s going to be okay. Model the behavior (positivity, resilience, perseverance) you want to see from your kids.
Our district is evaluating returning to school (hybrid, 2 days/week) every 5 weeks or so. I might change my tune in a few weeks, but right now… I think it is going to be okay.
(And a bunch of disclaimers — I know I am lucky to be in a good school district, with good technology plans pre-pandemic. I know I am lucky that my husband & I are mostly working from home for the foreseeable future. I feel so hard for the people with little littles or special needs, because I don’t see how it is easily workable. )
Anon says
I’m glad to hear it!
Anon says
Yeah, I’ve felt the same way and my kiddo is even in Kindergarten. I’m the one who pushed back on the mom suggesting an OOO reply while supervising 1st graders. It would certainly be way better if DD were in the classroom but she’s been remarkably independent (except the breaks – which do interrupt my flow…)
Anonymous says
I’m glad (and surprised, in the case of K!) to hear this. My friends seem really grumpy about it so far, but it’s good to know it’s working for some.
Earlier poster says
I’m grumpy about the fact that she’s missing out on the magic of kindergarten, but pleasantly surprised by how independent she can be while on the zoom itself and how relatively little has been required of me so far? The breaks are killer.
But to be clear, kindergartners should be in the classroom! Just want to clear that bit up :)
Anon says
That’s exactly what my BFF said (also has a kid in K) – it’s going surprisingly well from the perspective of the kid being independent and her being able to get her work done. But she is sad and frustrated on her kid’s behalf that kid is not having a real kindergarten experience.
EP-er says
I know — I know several incoming K families and they are just so sad about it. And I am sad for them, too. At least my kids have an idea of what school usually it…no class parties or field trips. :( But resilient kids who can do anything!
No Face says
My 4 year old’s virtual learning is going better than expected as well! She’s really engaged, and looks forward to her zooms. We have a weekly material pickup once a week so all the kids have materials for the projects. They show each other their work on the zoom. My kid has special needs, and zoom is a poor substitute for her in person therapies, but the special needs teachers are doing the best they can.
My district has done really well. They came up with an excellent plan for in-person classes, but the cases were just too high. I don’t blame the district. The White House, my governor, and my fellow citizens are to blame. (Side eye at a relative who is having a destination party with 9 other friends, including maskless bar hopping!!!).
Anon says
Do you have early intervention services? My friend is an OT in NC doing early intervention and they are still doing home visits unless the parents opt into Zoom. I don’t know if early intervention everywhere is still in-person. If you are using a private practice it might be worth looking into a different provider like through a community health center or in a lower income neighborhood. My friend’s early intervention stayed in-person because the families she works with are very unlikely to be able to navigate Zoom. Pre-pandemic they did home visits not because it was best for the kid but because parents regularly missed in-office appointments. They rarely missed at-home appointments.
No Face says
She’s aged out of early intervention. I was able to get in-person PT at the local children’s hospital. Currently in the application process for a private clinic that can do ABA therapy, in person full time. Cross your fingers for me!
Anon says
Early intervention in Fairfax County, VA is all virtual for now; the special education services through FCPS are also all virtual but slated for the first group to return in person whenever that may be.
88 Pzs says
Pennsylvania – early intervention is all virtual here too.
Anonymous says
My kids are having zoom fatigue — 7 hours a day (some breaks in there, but the only 30 minute one is for lunch, so hard to get any wiggles out or have recess). Of course, my kids don’t have the same lunch time.
Our district’s online school is going well, but they are reverting to pre-pandemic norms with grading and homework and “not being virtually present” attendance even though a lot of zooms take 10+ minutes to get going and you’re never sure if you are using the right link. All that where the district doesn’t have enough chromebooks or hotspots (poverty rate is >25%, possibly 50%). It seems like you shouldn’t threaten to fail my kid or criticize them for eating on camera or anything short of perfection where the solutions offered to us are buggy or bad (teacher is on mute the whole time).
EP-er says
Oh wow, those are some high expectations! My kids schedules are more like 5 hours of synchronous education, with good breaks. (Just did 10 minutes of doing crazy dances with my 3rd grader.) Attendance is tracked, but they can snack when they want. (And what they want! Last year there were strict rules about snack because the teacher just got new carpeting…) And they fixed the meeting links so unlike last spring, there is just a special link in the education management system — no password to type in or meetings info passed along to people not in the class.
I hope things get better for you guys!
Anon says
Can you give your kiddo something to do with his/her hands during Zoom? Personally, I crochet a lot during Zoom if I can do it in a way no one can see. Just an idea.
anon says
7 hours a day is rough! My K kid has about 2.5 hours of live zoom time over the 6 hour school day.
avocado says
Even my ninth-grader won’t have much more than 2.5 hours of live Zoom. I have done some 7-hour days of training on Zoom and even for an adult it’s positively brutal.
Anon says
my colleague’s daughter is in 2nd grade and is on week 3 and also says it is going really well and that her 7 year old has been able to do it fairly independently
anonamama says
paging Anon looking for fall outfit ideas for family pics. I have some ideas (banking on Labor Day Sales)!
Mom: Boden: Flora puff sleeve jersey dress in navy bramble, Benedicta dress in navy, Anthro: Natalie Cowel-Neck Cashmere Sweater (a few jewel tones), Alizeh Tiered Maxi Dress, Talbots: Soft Merino V-Neck Sweater Dress, Jersey Twist Midi Dress in Indigo Multi, Knit Bateau Neck Dress; Free People Ottoman Tunic in Midnight, Nutmeg, Brick.
5yo: Janie & Jack: Quilted bow dress, Paisley dress, Ruffle Sweater Dress, (Not seeing a ton of florals yet but Old Navy has a dress in Navy Floral) (I’d also check Poshmark/Ebay for previous season dresses)
10yo: J. Crew factory Boys’ long-sleeve flex casual shirt in plaid (burgundy indigo); Boys’ long-sleeve flex patterned washed shirt in stone blue white, authentic navy; they also have some nice sweaters to match (this may be a tough sell but Janie & Jack has a shawl collar pullover on clearance in his size)
Hubby: Button Down of choice + Lands’ End Bedford Quarter Zip in complementary color
AnotherAnon says
I may not be the Anon you intended this for, but love it so much. Thank you for sharing!
anon says
You are amazing! Thank you! I really struggle with this stuff and don’t find it fun even though I really want to achieve a cohesive look, so I am very grateful for the people who are naturals at this. :)
Anon says
Oh man, you are GOOD! This is dangerous displaying this kind of talent to all of us!
ElisaR says
haha amazing! i didn’t know i needed this but I did…
Anon says
I’m not looking for ideas but I am loving these suggestions.
anonamama says
haha was not expecting multiple responses! this is an in-kind contribution in exchange all of the advice/insight i’ve picked up as a FTM. don’t even get me started on winter plaids (I spotted two adorable dresses at Gap in my fall search: kids ruffle plaid taffeta and kids mix media dresses).
AnotherAnon says
My SIL is having her second baby (boy) today! I’m putting together a care package to mail to them since they live 500 miles away. I’ll send my nephew (4) a book, and her some food and maybe a cute notebook and water bottle. Is there anything you found particularly helpful for your second?
ElisaR says
since the 2nd boy gets allllll hand me downs (in our case w/ 3 older boy cousins there are a TON), i appreciated anything personalized w/ my youngest name. a bath towel. an over night bag. not necessarily clothes but if you’re into that monogrammed stuff I suppose that fits the bill too.
ElisaR says
not sure you were asking for a gift and that’s how i answered — oops!
Pogo says
My bffs did a Prime Now order from Whole Foods full of my favorite snacks and tons of healthy one-handed foods (fig bars! KIND bars! Other fancy organic stuff is never buy myself!) plus frozen pizzas and kid staples for my 3yo (allll the Annie’s bunny related snacks). It had been such a lifesaver. They also put a cupcake assortment in the order which was such a fun treat I wouldn’t normally get myself. It’s been great having that stash while I’m b-feeding and eating approx 6000 calories per day (conservative estimate lol)
Anon says
can anyone comment on sizing and quality of h&m kids clothes?
ANON says
I like the quality and find they run a little small. Bought 2t for my 14 mo.
Spirograph says
Agree that they run small. The quality is decent. H&M clothes aren’t as indestructible as Hanna Anderssen, but better than old Navy. I’ve gotten multiple kids’ worth of use out of many pieces, so I’m happy with the value overall.
Cb says
Pretty long and slim, sometimes slightly strange sizing. The quality is great for the things I’ve bought, I especially like the chinos and joggers and organic cotton ts, but the PJs aren’t as soft as other brands. The basics are great but the more “fashion” stuff I find a bit old for my 3 year old boy. I think because their range goes 3-10 years. I also think they are great for “formal” wear – my son likes to dress like daddy and they do some really whimsical and comfortable button downs.
Anon says
I think they run really small, especially in the belly. My daughter grew out of the 2-4T H&M size when she was still comfortably wearing 2-3 at Primary and 3T at Old Navy. But she is large of belly.
OP says
so if i have 28 month old twins, who wear size 2T or 3T in bottoms, and 3T in tops (maybe 4T on a rare occasion), would i buy the 3Y size or the 4Y?
Anonymous says
H&M has weird sizes on their clothes, and several of our items have a 2 year age range. You’ll probably be OK with a 2-4Y size, but if there’s a 3-5Y option, I’d go with that. In your example, I’d just go ahead and get 4Y. Many of their pants have adjustable waists, so you can cinch them down at first and let out as the kids grow.
Anon says
The age ranges are even bigger than that. It’s 2-4Y and 4-6Y. I felt weird buying my 2 year old the 6Y size, but the 2-4Y does not fit her at all.
Anon says
I find the sizing to be inconsistent. The 18 months (or maybe 2T?) sweatsuits I’ve bought are enormous, and the 2-4 size is just weird – such a huge gap! For the most part quality has been good, but a few leggings or dresses have been very thin. I don’t buy too often because of the weird sizing
anon says
It’s hit or miss. The sizing is super strange, IMO, but it’s one of the few places I can find joggers for my lanky, slim kid. I like the basics, but be aware that they shrink a lot. Quality is OK for the price. They sometimes have cute occasion dresses for girls. I don’t love the styling of the boys’ pieces; it’s a little too urban hipster for my taste, but YMMV.
Anon says
I actually found the few pieces we bought a few years ago to run super big.
Anon says
I’ve found what we have to be tall and skinny, fits my kid pretty well (100%+ height, ~50% weight). We have long sleeve cotton shirts that are a little big because they stretch.
Anonymous says
They’ve worked really well for my two chunky toddlers. After age 3, I’ve had to start paying a lot more attention to the quality of individual pieces. While better quality across the board than old navy for example, pay attention to the specific fabrics – the jersey can be really thin, and the lightweight cotton knit joggers are not a good choice for 4-5 year olds who will put holes in the knees in two seconds. At age 6 I have had to move to other brands for this reason (gap on sale is just as cheap). But my 1.5-2 and 2-3 H&M clothes are happily on their second child.
Pogo says
So funny I think the sizing is generous? But maybe my kid is skinny? I like their stuff a lot tbh, considering the price.
anon says
Thanks for all of the comments on the pre-K homeschooling yesterday. I think I am going to break down and just put a flexible schedule in place. I think it will help us both have piece of mind.
Anonymous says
What shoes do y’all recommend for a new walker, 14 months? His feet are too big for the Target size 12-18 month shoes with soft soles, and the bigger ones I got have thick, hard soles that seem like they’d be bad for a new walker?
Mathy says
Robeez!
Cb says
I liked the knockoff Robeez. They seemed to come in bigger sizes for my big foot kid.
ElisaR says
see kai run for when they are walking (we did robeez pre-walking)
Anne says
I am *very* cheap with kids clothes but think Stride Rite shoes are worth the price for stability and durability.
Anon says
I know everyone says soft soles are better for new walkers but my daughter had a much easier time walking once we finally put her in real hard sole shoes.
Anon says
I just did this yesterday! We had some See Kai Run shoes but my kid kept kicking them off and walking ridiculously with them on (like a dog with shoes on, it was hilarious). Plae seemed to fit better but they soles weren’t as soft as some of the See Kai Run shoes (the Stevie one was pretty soft soled compared to others). I would definitely print out size charts from each brand’s website – still kind of wish I took him in to Stride Rite but it’s too late now.
Anonymous says
Stride Rite, specifically the soft motion style
Anon says
We had some pedipeds as our first shoe at around that age. They were hard soled but very flexible, designed to be a first walker shoe. I think it was the grip n go.
Anonymous says
Thanks all, just got a couple different options.
Anon says
my 2 year old always want to ‘cook’ something, but every time we try to bake, it results in a tantrum when its time to actually put the item into the oven or they try to eat it while its raw. any tips to make baking more pleasant?
rakma says
What about no-bake recipes? The texture might not be great right out of the bowl, but at least you’re not dealing with raw flour/eggs? Energy bites or no bake granola bars come to mind.
Also, my kids love making salad, I do the chopping and then they combine the ingredients and ‘mix’.
ElisaR says
i wrote out a whole reply that got eaten!
english muffin pizzas. put them on a cookie sheet, marinara sauce spooned out by kid, shredded cheese by kid, put them in the over and poof- they cooked!
EB0220 says
My kids like making random toast creations. Make toast, spread cream cheese, apply fruit/sprinkles/whatever. Seems gross but they like it.
The quick pizza option is good too. We also do it on pitas and tortillas.
Mine also like energy balls. I found a good recipe online and they have fun making them into little balls.
Anon says
Same here. I frequently give her a giant plastic mixing bowl, a whisk and fill it with 2-3 tbsp of water and ice cubes. I encourage her to mix when I mix, and that keeps her pretty entertained. I also have her pour ingredients in (hold the measuring cup with me, shake the bag of chocolate chips in with me, etc). Just enough fake help to make her feel included. We also frequently go check on the oven by turning on the light and squatting down together to see how it’s coming/rising/baking. The whole ordeal is very overdone and dramatized, but seems to hold off tantrums from my otherwise head strong 2.5 yo.
Anon says
Do it often so they get used to the steps and result. Pancakes are an easy starter because they can see them cook. And don’t leave raw cookie dough on a tray unsupervised waiting for the oven to preheat (thank goodness DD’s outgrown her egg allergy!). My now 3 year old loves to make pancakes, waffles and biscuits with me. I measure out ingredients; she dumps them in the bowl and stirs (or in the case of biscuits tries to use the pastry cutter, uses the biscuit cutter and transfers the biscuits to the pan). She also “helps” when I am cutting vegetables by using a butter knife to try and cut up softer things and then eating the chopped veggies out of the bowl (but no other time of course). She thinks all bread dough is “pizza” and has recently helped make muffins – she likes to turn the stand mixer on and off and watch it mix. For cookies I actually premake the dough (often after bedtime), roll it into balls and keep it in the freezer, so “baking cookies” is waiting for the oven to ding (preheat), putting the frozen balls on the cookie sheet, waiting for the oven to ding (cook), and then trying to steal them off the cooling rack when mama isn’t looking while they’re too hot (not unlike her father).
AnotherAnon says
I like the no-bake, toast (+1 to kids eating weird things on toast) and pancakes ideas. Also, agree that if you can, try to bake consistently so she gets used to the whole process and waiting. When I started baking with kiddo (now 3.5), he’d just leave halfway through the process. Which is fine. When he started getting upset at having to wait (banana bread takes forever to cook!) We’d watch Daniel Tiger about waiting. It eats up time and helped him realize that eventually he would actually get the thing he wanted. Good luck!
rosie says
No-bake idea: have kid mash up graham crackers (or chocolate graham crackers), mix with PB, form into balls, and put in freezer to chill.
anon says
I highly, HIGHLY recommend the toddler cookbook Tickle Fingers. It isn’t even about the recipes so much as the philosophy. Although the recipes we’ve tried have been great! The first 18 pages of the cookbook are all about how to approach cooking with really small kids, age 1-4. She has a lot of special recipes for egg-free things because she gets that kids that age put stuff in their mouth. Honestly, it just totally changed how I approach cooking with my kid. You basically have to be their prep chef. Put everything into bowls and let them dump and mix. My tip is to just make muffins for everything. Get the silicon cupcake liners – my kid loves them and her favorite job is to put them in our muffin tin. We then add stuff that she can eat right away too – strawberries, raspberries, yogurt, chocolate chips, etc. They cook super fast and we put on a show (a big treat) while we wait for them to cook. In the 20 minutes of Daniel Tiger, we have muffins!
Anon says
Tickle Fingers toddler cookbook.
Actually lists the things the kid can/should do in the recipe.
Also, personally, giving up a lot of control and not caring made my kid’s experience better. Things ending in tears was definitely parent error in our kitchen.
Anon says
Along the lines of the Nice White Parents podcast, I am reading/recommending the book White Kids: Growing up with Privilege in a Racially Divided America. It’s a challenging read (in terms of confronting ideology/assumptions) but I’m finding it interesting. It focuses a lot on schooling and is perhaps a little heavy-handed at times – but that kind of drives home the point that school choice is never *neutral*, but is fraught with implications. I just finished a section re: how much a kid internalizes about race just based on where they go to school (and what is implicitly communicated there) – regardless of how you as a family talk about race, take anti-racist actions, vote, etc
Anyway – possibly something to add to the (growing) list of content about how we recognize and confront privilege. It also dovetails with a lot of the school convos we have around here
Anonymous says
Thanks for sharing that! When I reflect on my schooling (majority white but with a large Hispanic population), I can see how that influenced my comfort level with people of different races. My parents were amazing about talking about systemic racism (and so was my church), but I knew very few Black kids. It definitely impacts what I see as “normal” as an adult, especially in those split second reactions.
Anonymous says
We have chosen for the moment to send our child to a Jewish school, for many reasons including both affirmative religious education (Fully half the curriculum is religious) and not wanting our kid to have to have the experience I did of always being the only Jewish kid in the class, having to make Christmas and Valentine’s Day themed crafts, etc. I hated it and want a different identity environment for my kid. But I’m really struggling with the fact that it means his default will mostly be white people. Unlike some Jewish schools, not everyone is white (and not everyone is Jewish), but it’s certainly most people. And currently we aren’t socializing at all because of covid so he’s not really exposed to anyone who isn’t us and a few of his friends from Jewish preschool. It feels like there’s no good choice. In our city, with an extreme history of racist housing policies, most public schools are also super white; moving to a neighborhood with a more diverse school would also have us being gentrifiers in areas that honestly are out of our budget anyway because of the ongoing gentrification. Neighborhood school is maybe 80 percent white or more. Anyway , long story short we feel like there is no good option.
Anon says
I think it’s great that you’re cognizant of the school being very white, and thinking about what things you can do to address that but I just wanted to give you a vote of support for the Jewish school despite the lack of racial diversity. I also grew up in Jewish in a school and community that was about 98% Christian and it was really hard (and my family wasn’t even religious). If we had a Jewish school here, it’s something I would strongly consider for my kids. I think diversity is really important, but on some level you also have to protect your own kids’ mental health and happiness.
Anon says
i am a graduate of a jewish school and i thought i received an excellent education and really loved the community aspect! but you are right, there was definitely not a lot of diversity. to be honest, even if i’d attended the local public schools it would have also been mostly white. i think the jewish schools now, particularly in light of recent events, are doing more to talk about people from different backgrounds. depending on where you live, there are some excellent outside of school programs that specifically bring black and jewish kids together to talk about their respective groups experiences in America (something you can look into when kiddo is older). in the interim, in a post-covid world you could look into some extra curricular activities that involve more POC.
Anonymous says
Same. I grew up in a community and school district that were (and still are) 90%+ white. My parents talked about equality, but also didn’t go out of their way — and they would have needed to go out of their way — introduce my siblings and I to more racially diverse environments. I have lived and worked in a diverse major metro area for about 10 years now and am getting better, but I have to make a conscious effort to guard against my biases to counteract my split second reactions. I’ve recently been doing a lot of reading, listening, and thinking on anti-racism and am trying to raise my kids in a way that they’ll think more critically about systemic racism and how to interrupt it than I did. I’ll add this book to my library list, thank you!
Anonymous says
I’m so mad at my boss/work right now. I had no childcare from March through the beginning of August. When it became clear in April that this was a long-term situation and I couldn’t work very effectively from home with a toddler I asked my boss about using the CARES leave. He basically insisted I not go on leave, and told me that whatever I could do was fine, even if my productivity was greatly reduced compared to normal. He pitched it as “you’re such a valuable employee, we can’t afford to lose you even temporarily” although I think his actual thinking was that the company would be paying me my full salary no matter what, so might as well have me working, even if it was only part time. It wasn’t a pleasant summer, but I survived – often working until 1 am to get stuff done because I found it so hard to focus during the day with a toddler underfoot. My toddler went back to daycare a couple weeks ago and I thought everything was good. Today, my boss blindsided me by telling me that my main internal customer has been complaining about my productivity (in general apparently, but especially over the last 6 months). It appears that my boss basically threw me under the bus to the customer, telling them there was no excuse and he would speak to me about it (which he did on a Zoom call with the whole team…I feel like this should have been a private conversation, no?). He seemed unsatisfied when I reminded him about our discussions in April, and now I have to have a meeting with him, the customer and HR. I feel like I’m getting fired or at least put on a formal performance improvement plan, right? I’m so mad at myself for not standing my ground and taking the leave. Maybe I would have been let go anyway, but at least I feel like I could have made some kind of discrimination claim and gotten some money out of them because it looks really bad to fire the only mom in the office when she takes a permitted leave. Now I have no recourse because I just look ridiculously lazy. The customer who is complaining about me has young kids but his wife quit in March to stay home, so he doesn’t understand why anyone could possibly be less productive than normal. During the lockdown, he kept making comments like “we can all be so much more productive now that we don’t have to commute!” Ummmm no dude, I’m pretty sure NOT HAVING CHILDCARE cancels out the 30 minutes we’re saving by not commuting.
I hate the f-cking patriarchy.
anon says
I am so sorry. This is terrible and the patriarchy does indeed suck. What a bunch of clueless twits.
Anonymous says
Oh man. No advice but solidarity. I feel you so hard on the people claiming this somehow increased productivity potential or provided more “flexibility” for those of us working without childcare. The situation you described is exactly how I see mine playing out. What killed me was that my office went from “We don’t expect much for you. This is an emergency.” To :”you need to get back to normal productivity” but nothing in my life had changed. I was still working without access to childcare with no end in sight. By “no access” I meant daycares were closed by the state, not that I didn’t feel comfortable sending my kids back. My options were to employ a nanny illegally, which is a really cute way to risk your law license. At one point they basically suggested we could stop sleeping and work a graveyard shift while watching our kids all day, because they’re flexible!
Anyway- solidarity.
Anonymous says
I agree that there was an unspoken shift from “this is crazy and we will all get through it” to “you need to do it all now” without any extra support or any real changes in circumstances. Sure, we aren’t under stay at home, but the virus is still here and things are not normal!
Anon says
I’m so sorry! I feel your pain. In a different situation, I was thrown under the bus by my boss and suddenly lost my job. It felt like a betrayal. I didn’t have a chance to to defend myself, so I encourage you to really be assertive and make sure your boss and HR know your side of the story. I would even confide in anyone else on your team you are close with. If you are going down, other people you trust should know what really happened, so you at least have some comfort in not being misrepresented or misunderstood. Managers can be so unfair and only care about covering their own a$$ sometimes.
No Face says
First, find an attorney who practices labor/employment law on behalf of plaintiff’s in your jurisdiction pronto. It is not true that you have no recourse. You need to know your rights and options BEFORE this meeting.
Second, all of this is your boss’s fault and you should apologize for NOTHING. You had no childcare because day care was shut down by the state in a global pandemic. You requested federal leave that was created for purpose, and your boss denied your request. As a result, you had to manage your workload while taking care of your child(ren), regularly working until 1am to do whatever you could because your boss denied your request. Now, your boss has reprimanded you and negatively reviewed your performance because your boss denied your leave request. HR is coming to this meeting because they know how bad this looks.
Third, download indeed and start looking for another job. If I were in your shoes, I would never trust that boss again. My last job soured because of pandemic reasons, but I am happy to report I got TWO job offers. My new job is great, and my coworkers are human beings who get pandemic parenting.
GOOD LUCK!
Realist says
Would it make sense to talk to an employment attorney? This all sucks.
Anon says
This. I think you could still have a discrimination claim where you tried to take the leave.
octagon says
Oh man, that really sucks. I don’t suppose you have his commitment to ask you to stay on at reduced productivity in writing.
It’s extra sucky that your boss did nothing to alert you to this, or to get you extra help, if your customer has been complaining for six (!!) months! That is just plain bad management. Is your boss’s boss going to participate in these discussions as well? Because your boss is really the one at fault here, and he’s totally throwing you under the bus. Which you know.
I don’t know that you have no recourse, though, depending on the level of documentation you have for prior actions. Especially if you are the only mom in the office. I’d throw this to Ask A Manager and see what she thinks.
Pogo says
This is terrible. My only advice would be to seek assistance from someone in HR who is actually effective, not your generalist. In my org, I have this person as my trump card should anything happen but I know know how effective she is based on another woman’s recommendation of going to her in a similar situation to yours. Which sucks that you basically need to network internally to know who from HR will do anything. Although ultimately HR is on managements side and an employment atty may be your best bet. It just feels so disingenuous that he made these claims about lack of productivity being ok and now he’s totally backtracking. This is a good reminder when you have these convos to document and send a summary email so there is a record….
Coach Laura says
I have been a manager for 20+ years and would never, never ever chastise a direct-report in front of anyone. Totally and completely unprofessional. And what purpose does it do to review with the client?
I would suggest talking to an attorney if you do indeed get a PIP. Talking to HR might work but the HR person is usually looking to protect the company, not the employee. If you have any ANY written correspondence that implies or references your approval to do “light” work, forward that to your personal email or make a copy ASAP. I can’t understand bosses that throw employees under the bus.
Anonymous says
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice and support. The meeting is tomorrow so I won’t be able to bring a lawyer with me, but if they fire me or put me on a PIP I will definitely at least consult a lawyer. I think they know the optics look bad. My customer had a senior woman on his team (that I don’t work with much) go to my boss, and I suspect it’s because he knew it wasn’t a great look to have only men on his ‘side’ so to speak. I definitely want a new job. I was job-searching pretty aggressively pre-COVID and I had gotten an interview for a great opportunity in March but there have been broad hiring freezes in my industry since COVID. I’m hoping things will get better next year and I might be able to get a new job. I would honestly quit today if I thought I could find another job relatively quickly, but since I don’t think I can, I feel like I have no choice but to stay until they force me out.
Realist says
You have time to talk to a lawyer today. Work your network and find one that works plaintiff side and talk to them tonight. I think this would pay off even if you don’t end up hiring the attorney. I’m not super familiar with the employment field, but most lawyers are used to having time sensitive things pop up and you have a sympathetic case (especially if you talk to an attorney who is also a mom). I think No Face framed it well, above. And you need to move mission critical stuff from your work to your personal email TONIGHT. You could possibly lose access if you are fired tomorrow during the meeting. You don’t have a lot of time, so prioritize–grab the employee manual, critical contact info, anything that you would want to keep with you and that wouldn’t be violating any laws for you to keep. If you are in a one-party consent state, I would consider recording the meeting. Good luck!
LittleBigLaw says
Any recommendations for a quality, but not too expensive, kids clothing box? My preschooler and kinder are in desperate need of new clothes, but I really just don’t want to go through the time and effort of picking out new outfits right now. Plus, we’re in the still-very-hot SEUS, so I don’t want to spend a ton of time and energy picking out transition clothes for the in-between seasons phase. Everyone is at home for the foreseeable future, so nothing fancy needed. Just looking for a one click option to keep them from looking like total ragamuffins in the yard or wearing their pjs all day.
Anon says
Haven’t used this but I’ve heard good things about Kids on 45th for a used/hand me down option.
LittleBigLaw says
This sounded great but sadly seems to be out of business :(
Anon says
Tea Collection usually sells sets – 2-3 coordinating tops and bottoms.
avocado says
We had a set from Tea Collection and it was just about my favorite kid clothing purchase ever. It had something like 2 tops, 2 bottoms, a dress, and a hoodie that mixed and matched.
Anon Lawyer says
I love Tea Collection but I really have to stalk sales – the prices for new stuff seems insane to me.
Anon says
25% off for Labor Day right now, and there is a girls summer-ish set for $90 full price…so that would come down to $67 for 4 items (if I did my math right, which is always questionable). It’s not H&M prices for sure, but that’s about $17 per item.
(Full disclosure; when I realized my daughter would likely be my only kid, I leaned into buying her the cute/higher quality stuff as long as it didn’t kill my budget. And we pass it along to a family with three little girls, so I know it’s getting used by four kids, and that makes me feel good.)
Anon Lawyer says
I’m not judging! I just really wanted this camel romper they were selling and it was like $3 fo5r the longest time and I felt like I couldn’t justify it until it went down below like $25. But it was for a baby so she was going to outgrow it sooner. I am very tempted by the berry set on sale for Labor Day.
LittleBigLaw says
Love Tea and completely forgot about their sets! This may be exactly what I needed. Thanks!
anon says
I like rockets of awesome – it’s a bit expensive but the clothes have held up beautifully. that being said, right now you’d get a fall box, so that may not solve your current problem. I love that their clothes are a little quirky – and some items we’ve definitely gotten two years of wear out of.
Pogo says
I’m so glad you say ragamuffin too. My mom would call us that when we were all dirty and unkempt and I think it’s such a great word, but I never hear anyone else use it!
ElisaR says
my mom too!
Pogo says
Had my baby, yay!
Coming here first to complain about “maternity leave” in the US and the nightmare of navigating benefits and disability. Ugh. And my company has great benefits on paper AND YET like a week after my kid is born I’m on hold every day with some third party or another to figure out how to actually use my benefits and pay for the medical care that I obviously need since I just delivered a gd baby. /endrant
Second – how does one elegantly insert the spectra flanges into your pumping bra? With the Medela they detach so it was easy but I have not figured this out yet.
Anonymous says
Congratulations! With you on the benefits. I remember thinking that HR at my very large employer acted like fml after having a baby was the most unusual exotic thing that no one had ever done before. Like how is this so complicated?
Pogo says
Riiiight? I also specifically called and asked about this issue beforehand (contributions/enrollment/coverage depending on what type of leave I’m on since in the US it’s cobbled together from different sources, which change employment and benefits status) and was apparently given an incorrect answer? Though I just checked my paystub and they deducted for the FSA so I have no idea why they turned the card off. Presumably it’s my employer not communicating to the third party admin (esp because my employer pays my disability benefits, rather than the insurer, which is probably different from many employers they work with) but it’s so f-ing annoying. Like, I am now doing unpaid admin work WHILE ON DISABILITY that in theory someone at my company should do and at least put together an FAQ for. Like you’d like more than one woman a year has a baby and has this issue.
sorry hormones makin me crazy. lol.
DLC says
Congrats!!!!!
A mom in my mom’s group told me about a hack for just using your nursing bra/tank for pumping and it was life changing. I haven’t used a pumping bra ever since. It’s a particularly good hack for Spectra because you basically just unclip, wrap the straps around the flange one way and to top of your bra around the other way and and reclip. Hard to describe. I’ll try to find the link, but if you google “pumping bra hack” you should be able to find a YouTube video.
DLC says
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VwqdT_931Tc
This was life changing for me.
Pogo says
OMG this is genius!! This way I can assemble everything first (I was trying to screw the bottles on upside down and backwards lol).
Just wish my boobs looked as perky as that chick in the video.
DLC says
Hah! Yes to the perky!
I learned this hack with my third kid, and it is probably the only useful thing I know. It was an amazing day in mom’s group when the lady who showed us this took her shirt off and flashed us to demonstrate. It’s that good of a tip.
Good luck with the new little one!
GCA says
No advice for either (I simply stuffed the flanges under the bottom edge of my nursing bra and the band sort of held everything in place), but congratulations!
Clementine says
CONGRATULATIONS!
(Also, you and I have both been here since before we were pregnant- it’s been more than 5 years! I feel like we have been buddies on this weird journey.
Leatty says
Congratulations!! I had mine, too :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Congratulations to both of you! Been thinking about you both as I know you were due at around this time. Hope the deliveries went well and that you’ve settled into the toddler+newborn craziness!
Pogo, I also had a combination of leave benefits + STD, and the leave benefits had to cover that week before STD kicked in. Luckily my HR department handled all of it – hopefully yours can do the same. Although I imagine it’ll change again next year when MA’s state leave benefits kick in, should be fun.
Spectra assembly says
I always assembled the flange/bottle combo, put the flanges inside the pumping bra, and then attached the backflow protectors.
Katarina says
I put the horns with everything assembled in my pumping bra while the pumping bra is not on me. Then, I strap the whole thing around me, over my nursing bra with the cups down. I find it easier to center the flanges this way.
Anon says
Doing anything fun for Labor Day? I need inspiration.
Anonymous says
We got a season pass to a river tubing place earlier this summer, and will be going there one last time. Flat water tubing — the kind that adults do with a cooler tube and it’s relaxing. Spoiler, it is not relaxing with kids, but it is still a lot of fun and very scenic, and in a summer where public swimming pools are not very accessible, it’s been a good, socially distant, way to beat the heat.
Anon says
It’s canceled for me! I work for a university and they took away the holiday to discourage people (students, mostly) from leaving campus. We get an extra day at Christmas break so I can’t complain but it’s weird.
Pogo says
My company gave people an extra day to make it a 4-day weekend as a ‘thank you for working so hard during covid’. Not that you can go anywhere or do anything….
Anonymous says
I live in Iowa. I’ll be at home and judging people who aren’t. Not entirely serious. I’m sure we’ll have some outdoor family outings…golf, maybe a bike ride. Yard clean up. DH and I really need to catch up on some sleep. So we’ll just treat it like any other weekend but with a third day where we’re not both up and working in the 5 am hour.
Anon says
I grew up in Iowa, and from my high school FB friends, it seems like most people in Iowa are living life like there’s no pandemic? Parties, weddings, plane travel, kids in indoor dance and gymnastics classes, etc. It blows my mind, especially with the current spike that landed you guys on the front page of CNN. My parents are in one of the hardest hit counties and are self-isolating as much as they possibly can, but they have to go to the doctor regularly for some important health stuff and I’m so worried they’re going to get it there. And I can’t believe there’s STILL no mask mandate. Reynolds is a buffoon.
2:52 Anon says
I don’t know if I’d say “most” people, but certainly a good amount. My smaller community (about 23,000) was near to many of the early meat packing outbreaks, so the population in my county has been taking things seriously ever since. My community also has hardly anything to do. So unless you want to spend tons of time at Walmart or HyVee, there’s just no where to congregate. I can’t figure Reynolds out. I previously assumed she was trying to suck up to the current administration in case Trump is re-elected and she can move up. But now she’s not even following the WH advice to her to beef up restrictions. So I can’t figure it out. But I will say, the people who are living life like there’s no pandemic don’t really pay attention to CNN ;)
Anon says
Interesting. I grew up in Ames, so pretty liberal, and it seems like a lot of people there are still not taking it very seriously, and I don’t just mean the college students. Maybe “living life like there’s no pandemic” isn’t entirely fair, but they generally seem way less cautious than other people I know of a similar political slant. Maybe because most of Iowa was ok-ish for so long they got complacent.
BlueAlma says
I grew up in Ames too!!
Anon says
Hi! Maybe we know each other. I’m AHS class of ’03 :)
Anon says
Planning on sleeping in ear plugs and a mask until 10AM one day.
SC says
Finishing painting our bedroom. We started in mid-July and haven’t gotten around to the second coat on the walls or the trim paint.
anon says
I have several rants about Primary.
1) The new web/logo redesign is terrible. So blah and too many typefaces, several of which do not translate well to digital.
2) How is this supposed to be my one-stop shop for kids’ basics when half their sizes are forever out of stock in the colors and sizes I want?
I love the idea of this place so much, but the execution still leaves a lot to be desired.
Anon says
I haven’t had the sizing problems you mention (although I haven’t shopped there in a while so maybe they’re having covid-related supply chain problems?) but I agree about their new logo/web presence! It’s so ugly. Usually their branding and design is really on point, so I was surprised by such a big miss.
anon says
IDK, I don’t think it’s covid related. I have always had problems with finding the right sizes and colors in stock. Maybe I’m gravitating too much toward the more popular colors, but I’m kind of ready to give up.