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Updated: Apr 18, 2021 153 Comments · by

Budget Thursday: Basic V-Neck T-Shirt

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A woman wearing a Basic V-Neck T-Shirt

When I saw this t-shirt at Zara, I immediately snatched it up. I went home, tried it on, then went back and bought another of the same color, and a gray one. These t-shirts are soft, long, and flattering. I sized up for an oversized/comfort fit, and I really like how they drape. I see online that they’re offering colors I didn’t notice in the store, so I may actually pick up a fuschia and possibly the leopard. My summer uniform is going to be this t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and Birkenstocks. The shirt is $9.90 at Zara and is available in sizes S–XXL. Basic V-Neck T-Shirt

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Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. HSAL says

    My 21 month old girl twin has become aggressively interested in the potty the last week or two. We got out our travel potty and she keeps pulling her pants down and diaper off and sitting on it. Would it be insane to try to train her while we’re all home? We have to be hands-on with them enough and I wouldn’t do it during naps or bedtime.

    • drpepperesq says

      DO IT! if she’s already aggressively interested, that’s a huge win to take advantage of. my son is trained but i still put a diaper on him for naps (stays dry, but just in case) and he’s not night trained and i still put him in an overnight diaper at night.

    • Audrey III says

      Not at all insane – go with it! I trained my daughter recently at 23 months, but she was 100% ready well before then – we just hadn’t had the time. She had been super interested in the potty for about 3 months at that point. We also accidentally found out she was ready to be nap and night trained when I forgot to change her into Pull Ups before bed one night, when she was 24 months.

    • Anonymous says

      Nope not insane at all if she’s showing interest. The method is up to you – oh crap works for many but didn’t for us. We had to wait until my daughter was ready herself (at almost 3) and then we just switched to undies and she did it herself with a few reminders the first two days.

    • Lyssa says

      My strategy with potty training was to “soft train” (encourage and celebrate going, but keep the diapers and not make it an expectation) for a while starting pretty young. Then they’re pretty ready when they’re ready. So, definitely, start trying to have her go regularly. If that seems to be working, then you can start with actual training. If nothing else, you’ll likely save on diapers a bit.

    • Pogo says

      21mo girl seems totally reasonable. I’ve heard many at that age being successful.

    • anon says

      would love to hear everyone’s favorites shows and movies.. looking for stuff to watch with husband after kids go to bed to unwind during this crazy time.

      • Anonymous says

        Alone I watch Chesapeake Shores. With hubby, we’re watching Schitt’s Creek. We might rewatch The Office next.

      • Anon says

        We started Tiger King last night which is a few-episode series on Netflix. First two episodes were a little much/so unreal but in episode 3 became a cross between utter entertainment + 20/20 Investigates type thing… we couldn’t stop watching last night and are excited to pick it back up tonight!

          • LadyNFS says

            If you like Tiger King there is an in depth review of the Carole Baskin / Tiger King podcast that goes through their whole feud and has different details that I listened to a few months ago and enjoyed (I subsequently watched Tiger King on Netflix and enjoyed as well!). Over my Dead Body Season 2 – Joe Exotic.

      • Anonymous says

        I also just saw Self Made advertised. I think it is Netflix? I might start watching it next. Probably alone, although DH would watch it.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        We just started Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu, based on the book. I like it so far. On HBO, our most recent show was the Outsider.

    • Anonymous says

      Nope my older 2 were training just before 3 and my 3rd (also 21 months) started last night. Go for it!

    • anonn says

      Do it. If you’re home with a toddler between 22-30 months, who sings her ABC’s this is the perfect time. We did the Oh Crap method and this was her “readiness” measure. Also, you won’t have to worry about getting diapers and wipes when you run out.

    • DLC says

      We are definitely taking advantage of the situation and finally toilet training our 3 year old. We did the oh Crap method and he’s seems to get it- there were a lot of messes the first day or so, but we are now in the commando w/ pants phase. I don’t know I when I would have had the energy to tackle this if we hadn’t been forced to stay at home…

  2. Audrey III says

    Let’s post our favorite recent activity purchases for the kids. My 5.5 year old saw a friend on a video chat with the Melissa and Doug Decoder Activity Set, and it’s been awesome – he spends hours using the decoder ring, and the other activities are great too. Got one for 2 yo so she wouldn’t be jealous and she likes the coloring books. $11 on the river site.

    • Cb says

      A shopping basket for playing shopping and a wheelbarrow for the garden. Both have seen lots of use here. And the brio train set.

    • Anonymous says

      Alex Jr alphabet craft kit. 3 year old can do most letters herself with some help. I love their kits in general.

    • AnotherAnon says

      Balance bike we got him for Christmas, Brio train set uncle savior got him for his 3rd birthday, mini trampoline.

    • anon says

      My 6 yo (1st grader) has been plowing through a set of ten Geronimo Stilton books. She literally read for two hours yesterday all of her own choosing. Someone on here recommended the series to me. Thank you!!

      • FVNC says

        I think that was me — so glad she loves them! We are letting our daughter read them on her tablet via our public library’s app, now that the library is closed. Not as great as the books themselves, but better than nothing. Maybe an option for you!

        • anon says

          Good to know! She hasn’t been successful reading on her tablet previously because she typically uses a bookmark to keep track of her place, but her reading has some a long way in the last two weeks so it might be worth trying again.

    • octagon says

      Melissa & Doug Scissor Skills activity book was great. We also recently acquired the GeoSafari Jr. Talking Microscope and it’s been a lot of fun (4 yo kid).

    • anon says

      Not a purchase, but I am pleased with this “made” toy — a handful of colorful m&m’s in a sealed clear plastic container, attached to the end of a long-handled wooden spoon. 7 mo is enchanted — it makes noise! and has colors! and he can wave it around! And hit himself with it, wow!

    • CPA Lady says

      A water table. It’s getting nice and warm here (70s-80s degrees) and it’s been great. Or if it’s cold, she puts on a bathing suit and plays with it in our giant 1980s bathtub.

  3. Anonymous says

    Is anyone elsss kid really struggling to adjust to the new normal? Our normally pleasant DD has succumbed to multiple daily meltdowns. I mean seriously she rarely has a tantrum and now they are extreme. She just had a checkup so no stealth health problems going on. She just turned 3. She’s getting plenty of outside time, free play, and attention. Understandably I think it’s really hard for to grasp why she can’t go to school or the library or playgrounds or play with anyone but her 7 month old brother. I’m hoping in another week she adjusts to our new normal – but humans are social and it’s normal for her to want to be with other kids!! I know we should count our blessings and realize this is temporary for the greater good. But good god these tantrums have me and DH at the end of our rope! We are trying SO hard to stay calm and not add fuel to the fire but with the low-level anxiety we’re all experiencing plus the sudden upheaval in our lives it’s hard!! Tips? Commiseration?

    • Anon says

      My just-turned-3 year olds have also been having more tantrums than usual. I think it’s just things being different and unexpected.

    • Cb says

      Yes, it is so so hard. I think my son is picking up on our stress. I’m trying to keep a consistent routine but I’m short tempered and he’s short tempered.

    • Anonymous says

      It’s hard for sure. Having a daily schedule and doing activities at consistent times (to the extent possible) has been helpful for my youngest.

      I did a quick symbol schedule and used different colours – like green tree for outside time, orange Square for iPad time et. and posted it on the fridge.

      • Cb says

        Oh that’s a good idea. We have a rough schedule for us but I think a schedule that he can look at would be helpful.

    • SC says

      Some of this may just be being 3. Seriously, it’s normal for the feelings to get bigger around 3.

      And, of course, everything is different right now. A visual routine with pictures could help–you don’t need to go all color-coded homeschool, but something to let her know where she is in the day and what’s up next.

      Not that you need anything more to do right now, but this is a great age for the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. There’s a lot in there about how to respond to tantrums, naming feelings, etc.

      You could also buy some kids’ books about feelings. Our favorites were Little Monkey Calms Down and The Way I Feel by Janan Cain.

      • Anonymous says

        Thanks for the book suggestions. I am also afraid this is just three! How am I going to survive three!? Haha

    • Io says

      I think extrovert kids are really being hit hard by this. A lot of attention from one person is NOT the same. Set up lots of FaceTime/zoom dates (We’re trying to do one a day.) and see if that helps.

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly, my kiddo loves this. She is 4. Her biggest complaint is not being able to play with her neighborhood BFF, but they’ve shouted across lawns to each other a bit, and it has helped.

      • anon says

        My 5-year-old is also loving this time at home. She did a zoom meeting with her preschool this morning and it was the sweetest thing ever. I know she misses her friends but she really loves stay-at-home days.

      • Anon says

        My four year old, too. He is so much more pleasant and smiley than he has been the whole school year. I think getting lots of sleep is helpful!

  4. Anon says

    I didn’t have the chance to respond to the diapers post yesterday – but the CVS near me was fully stocked, even though the supermarket was basically out. I typically purchase Target brand diapers, but those have been almost impossible to get, but I was glad to see CVS had some, even though they are more expensive

    • Pogo says

      Didn’t see the question but Amaz0n prime was still working for me on diapers and that’s the route I’ve been going.

  5. strollerstrike says

    My seven months year old has decided that his favorite sleeping position is on his belly with his face down in the mattress. He started out doing this only occasionally but now he turns over as soon as we put him in his crib and screams bloody murder if we try to turn him on his side or his back. He won’t even turn his face to the side.
    I am worried about him Re-breathing the Mattress air/suffocating but waking him every 10 mins to flip him over also doesn’t make sense.
    Did anyone else deal with this? Any solutions or just hope that he will quickly outgrow this?

    • Anon says

      my understanding was if they are not swaddled and able to roll over if they want, you don’t need to be flipping them over. maybe just make sure your mattress is firm and there are no extra blankets, soft toys that could cause an issue.

      • Anonymous says

        Yup. My daughter started sleeping face down around 6 months. You’re not supposed to put them that way, but if they get that’s at themselves you don’t have to move them.

    • Anonymous says

      Once they can turn themselves over, it’s ok to let them. I believe the concern with tiny babies is that they don’t have the instinct to turn if they can’t breathe. I think by 7 months, they should be able to. My DD started sleeping on her tummy at 6 months and ped said it was fine. We sometimes still find her with butt in the air and face planted on mattress, but she’s been fine.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Both my kids slept on their stomachs as soon as they were able to roll over. Once their arms are out of the sleepsacks and they can roll over on their own, it’s fine.

    • Anonymous says

      Like everyone else said if he’s rolling on his own it’s fine. You can call your ped for reassurance but there is zero need to flip him back over. You can also find advice from AAP on this. DS meets milestones early and started rolling onto stomach at 4 months. Has been sleeping on his stomach since. The SIDS risk drops dramatically at 6 months anyways, and most SIDS cases after 6 months are due to accidental suffocation because of blankets or bedsharing.

  6. Boston Legal Eagle says

    So MA schools and daycares officially closed until early May. I figured this was coming but now the reality that this will be our new normal for the next few weeks (at least) is setting in. How are everyone else’s states looking?

    In other news, we now have two monitors in the office, which will at least help with doing work!

    • Cb says

      The official word here in the UK is that we should not expect schools to reopen before the summer holidays which begin end of June. The university is fully remote, with students doing their exams from home. My son’s nursery is run by the local council so I expect they won’t reopen until schools go back in August, but private nurseries may open earlier. If so, we’ll hire a nanny or enroll him in private once we’re expected to be back in the office.

    • Io says

      NYC is still “officially” until April 20th, but all the teachers I know have said they’ve been told that school probably won’t reopen until Sept. If Covid-19 takes a warm weather dip in transmission, they won’t know until early June anyway.

      Hoping that summer camp might still happen. Hoping so, so, so much.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 – my husband is a teacher and this is what he is hearing. And our school doesn’t end until 6/27. I can only deal with one day at a time.

    • So Anon says

      In ME, we are out through the end of April, at the moment. In VA, where I have family, schools will not reopen this school year. I am hanging onto the hope that schools will reopen at some point this school year for us and that there will be summer camps because the thought of this going until September (when we go back to school) would pull me down very far mentally.

    • SC says

      In LA, we’re officially through mid-April. I doubt school will go back this school year. I also anticipate most of the camps being closed this summer.

    • Pogo says

      Same here, knew it was coming, but it was still a dose of reality. One of the other daycare moms (we have a group chat) pinged me during the press conference. We are also looking into setting up a second office – the plan was to convert our current office into big kid room for LO before #2 arrives anyway, and then make the current guest room a combo office/guest room. But as we will not be having guests for the foreseeable future, I convinced DH to disassemble the bed in there and we’ll go ahead and order the rest of the office furniture for that room, plus a second monitor, etc. If we’re still WFH mid-summer (sobbing face emoji) we can put both the old office furniture + new office furniture in there and still convert the old office for LO so he has some time in there pre-baby. Although when we can get rid of both the bed and desk which date from DH’s college days I will do a giant happy dance.

      Feeling lucky we have the flexibility and funds for this. Nervous for some of my friends (both here in MA and CA) who will need to go back from maternity leave while daycares are still closed. That is a level of stress I can’t even think about.

    • anon says

      Virginia closed for the school year, which ends in late June because we didn’t start until after Labor Day. It’s overwhelming for parents, but seems to be forcing school districts to be more proactive about distance learning.

    • FVNC says

      KS schools closed till the end of the school year; some daycares are still open (we’re not sending our 3 yr old currently).
      Summer camp through our county parks dept is supposed to start the first week of June and we haven’t heard anything yet about whether that will happen.

    • anne-on says

      We haven’t officially closed in our town, but yes, word is schools won’t open until fall. As my husband will likely need to go back to work long before that I am hoping and praying summer camp will be an option. We have an au pair (45 hours of weekly care) but that barely covers work hours, not any household upkeep which we normally have her help with. Selfishly, it also means no hours for the gym/date nights/etc. I am totally going to pay a local sitter for some help if it is allowed.

    • Realist says

      I’m expecting our schools to be closed through the year. With an asthmatic child, I’m not sure we’ll do summer camps even if they are open. I’m afraid that we will get a brief break for July, August, and September, with this thing picking up in October for flu season and roaring back all winter. Unless we get a medical breakthrough with a treatment or vaccine sooner than anticipated, I’m afraid we’re in an 18 to 24 month period of “new normal” with cycles of social isolation and quarantine. I wish our leaders were acting accordingly.

      • Anonymous says

        My expectations are the same, and I also have a kid with asthma who is not going to camp no matter what.

      • Anonymous says

        While I am not saying that the leaders couldn’t act more ideally, my bigger issue is with all the people who aren’t taking this seriously and going out, getting into groups, considering themselves “essential” when they’re not, etc. I blame them a heck of a lot more than the leaders.

  7. How to self-isolate w kids says

    We have 3 young kids (including a baby) in a 2-bdrm apt. in NYC. We’ve been more or less shut in for 11 days now. In the past day or two, I keep feeling these faint stray symptoms that could be in my head or could be the beginnings of coronavirus or a cold or really anything. Last night I started worrying about how to isolate myself. I don’t see how we would do it, logistically and also emotionally for the kids (and mental health-wise for my husband). Have others thought about this, or actually had to implement? Thanks.

    • Anon for this says

      So I do have one friend whose husband is a presumptive positive in Seattle. They are fortunate to be in an actual house so my friend has room to move around, but husband is isolated in the master bedroom. She brings him food and drinks. She has resigned herself to the fact that she will get it and yesterday told me she feels “like a ticking time bomb”. Because he is young and healthy the DPH and his doctor said he would only need to be seen/hospitalized for fever of over 102 for 3 days or extreme shortness of breath (like can’t walk to the bathroom) – also bc of his health and age he will not be officially tested. So there is nothing to do which must feel helpless.

      A friend in SF also has her husband isolated even though he has not spiked a fever because they have a very young infant and she has concerns about an infant getting RSV or something else (not COVID) at this point in time (total valid imo, breathing problems in babies are so scary even in normal times, not when every ventilator is possibly being used on a COVID patient). Same thing though they have a house, again, so he’s on the ground level and she is upstairs with the baby bringing him food and drinks.

      Neither of these help if you have to share a bathroom with the sick person. I don’t know how that would be managed. With COVID my understanding is that if you are in a house with a sick person you are very likely to get it no matter what you do. If you just have a cold, isolating will help keep your family from getting sick, especially the baby (like my SF friend) so I would still make some attempts. Even moreso than SF I wouldn’t want to have a baby with any kind of respiratory symptoms right now in NYC just due to the volume of COVID patients they are treating.

      • Anon for this says

        also major major hugs. You’re a hero for dealing with 3 kids in a 2 bed in NYC right now. Thinking good thoughts & healthy vibes.

    • Anonymous says

      I am not a public health expert, nor a medical professional. But if you are already feeling sick haven’t you been contagious all along? Is isolating from the family even useful at this point?

      • How to self-isolate w kids says

        Honestly, I am partly looking for dispensation not to bother trying to isolate completely. I think the recommendations are both impossible to follow in our apartment and ineffective generally given how contagious the disease is (especially seeing how physical my family is / how non-independent the kids are — cuddles, sharing food, baby sucking on others’ fingers…).

    • Anonymous says

      You can’t. If you truly have symptoms you’ve already spread it to your whole family anyway.

    • Coach Laura says

      Unless one of you is immunocompromised (asthma, cancer, heart disease, copd) then go on as you are. If your family members are at risk, you could see if you could use an empty apartment or something, but that is probably not possible.

  8. anon says

    Meal help! What are your favorite easy lunch ideas? Kiddos eat lunch at school and I have never had to make so many meals a day! I feel like I barely figured dinner out and now I have make breakfast and lunch too. What are your go to meal ideas?

    • Anon says

      We do leftovers for lunch most of the time (plus fruit and veg), but days we don’t have leftovers we’ll typically do one of the following:
      -quesedillas (stick grated cheese in a tortilla, microwave for 30 seconds, add frozen spinach if you’re feeling fancy)
      -scrambled eggs (microwave or stove)
      -something from the freezer (miniquiches, chicken nuggets, meatballs)
      -sandwiches (peanut butter, sun butter, hummus)
      -cheese and crackers

      • Pogo says

        +1 this is our basic rotation as well. I have a picky toddler who I find eats best if I give several small servings of different food – so a small quesadilla + two slices of bell pepper + some berries + some raisins.

        Another lifehack right now which we are fully embracing is breakfast for lunch. Eggs or omelette, yogurt + granola, waffles from the freezer, muffins, whatever. Why not!

    • SC says

      Our kid eats a lot of peanut butter and jelly for lunch. We also buy his favorite prepared food at the grocery store (red beans and rice) and have it on hand. Sometimes, lunch is just several snacky items–hummus, pita chips, baby carrots, fruit, etc. Or leftovers from the night before.

    • Cb says

      We’ve been doing our main meal at lunchtime and ‘French picnic’ for dinner (bread, cheese, veg and fruit). I can cope with cooking lunch but by dinner, I’ve got nothing left in me. The amount of dishes we’ve been creating is incredible, 3 people, 3 meals, plus snacks…

      • avocado says

        We are creating more dishes too and I don’t get it. We ordinarily have breakfast and dinner at home and pack lunch and snacks in a million containers. How does eating lunch at home create more dishes? It should be fewer.

        • Anon says

          Same here. I can’t figure out why lunch at home is creating more dishes than packing lunchboxes!

    • Anonymous says

      Leftovers or mac and cheese is all we do. Kiddo doesn’t like sandwiches.

    • anne-on says

      We rotate among the following:
      leftovers
      pulled pork or taco chicken shredded in the slow cooker and used for sandwiches or quesadilla filling
      breakfast for lunch
      PB&J
      Frozen meatballs reheated (we make a bit batch on the weekends and freeze them in 4-packs to defrost).

  9. Kid's birthday says

    We just cancelled my son’s 5th birthday party. He is really disappoint as he has been looking forward to it since November. I would like to find something to do that makes the day special but with everything closed and social distancing, I am having a hard time thinking of an idea. I am in the DC area. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    • anon says

      Do you have a backyard? If so, I’d consider getting him an inflatable bounce house. We got one a couple of years ago and my kids adore it. It uses so much of their energy. They’re not cheap, but neither are birthday parties in DC. You might come out about equal.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        This is what we’re planning to do for our older one’s birthday (April). Bounce house in the yard when the weather is hopefully a little warmer. Bonus that it will help with these quarantine days!

    • Audrey III says

      I’d send a group email to the people who were invited with your address and cell phone number, and ask them to have their kids either make a card or video for him for his birthday – I would definitely do so if I got an email like that! Also, is it crazy to suggest a Zoom birthday party? My five year old lit up when we did a Zoom playdate with all the kids in his class on Monday. Could be short, but they could all sing him Happy Birthday. My five year old also loves scavenger hunts; you could hide his presents and do a scavenger hunt for them.

      • blueridge29 says

        Preschool has asked classmates to make cards or videos for kids on their birthday. We sent videos or photos of kids holding the cards to the parent of the birthday boy/girl. Can you contact your son’s teacher and give this option to the kids in his class?

    • Anon says

      Do you have friends within walking distance? You could ask them all to write birthday messages in chalk on their sidewalks and you could go on a walk to read them all.

      Seconding Zoom call with friends. We’re recording group birthday messages for some kids who have birthdays next week.

    • Bostonian says

      DD turns two in April. We were going to do a combo house warming/bday party for her which is now cancelled.

      Now I think we’re going to try to do a “drive by” party with cousins and grandparents (8 ppl total). It’s not the same as your situation because DD doesn’t quite understand a birthday party, at least not nearly as much as a 5 year old. But we’re at the end of a cul de sac with a big circle so maybe decorate a couple cars, do some honking, sing happy birthday and blow out a candle. Also, lots of videos and pictures because it’s all so unbelievable and we’ll want to show her we did this many years from now.

    • Anonymous says

      aw, poor kid. that’s a bummer. in nyc, a number of kids music outfits are advertising that they will do virtual birthday parties too, so that’s an idea. Rockness Music is one.

    • anonn says

      we have a local party store that is doing “balloon bombs”. they drop off a bag of balloons on your front porch, for birthdays they have numbers. Maybe they have something like that their to make it special?

    • Anonymous says

      My kid and the neighbor have been riding bikes on opposite sides of the street lately. We’ve also been at a now unused church parking lot where kids have been riding bikes 6 feet from one another. Maybe you could have like a 2 or 3-kid bike derby for half an hour with clearly established distance rules?

  10. Anon says

    I am feeling really depleted today. Full time work and parenting with no break or differentiation in the days is … too much. My job has been very accommodating but I am struggling.

    • Cb says

      Me too! Yesterday I was frustrated, but today I’m just sad. Sad that people are suffering, sad that my career is taking a hit, sad that my kiddo doesn’t get to go to nursery. I’m trying to get into some sort of routine, but honestly I think I might call it today and read my book in bed.

    • Spirograph says

      Same. I was venting to my husband last night that I am just getting burnt out so much faster than I do during a normal week. Like by lunch on Wednesday, I’m done and it needs to be the weekend. I took tomorrow off. Still have one meeting that I need to call into, but otherwise I’m throwing in the towel. I need a break. If this is going to keep up for another month+, I need to find a way to pace myself. And I don’t need those vacation days for actual vacation anymore, so….

      • Pogo says

        I was thinking about that too. I’m not going to Paris, so I could spread those PTO days out over a few weeks when I’m finding it particularly rough to try and cope. And on those days actually try some of the fun pinterest-y toddler activities the other moms on FB & insta are doing. Even like, baking together would be fun. Or letting him do paint or play-doh. I just don’t have the bandwidth for anything messy on weekdays when we’re working.

    • So Anon says

      Right there with you. My company leadership is great and mentions the challenges of working parents regularly, but my boss, not so much. Her youngest is in college and her spouse was largely the default parent, so claims to get it but really doesn’t, let alone in this new reality.

      • avocado says

        Women with SAH husbands can be the worst. They think they know what it’s like to be a working mom, a claim few men with SAH wives make, but they really have no clue.

    • Anon says

      Right there with you. When my toddler screams and cries about something, I feel like crying right along with her.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      It is too much. It’s too much to expect parents to both work and take care of kids, especially small kids, full time. Not to mention for months on end with no definite end point. I appreciated my “before” life and I miss it.

    • IHeartBacon says

      I feel you. Yesterday my cat was sleeping in a little square of sun on the floor in our kitchen and I just laid down next to her.

  12. Anonanonanon says

    Lou & Grey has a similar v neck shirt that I really like and have a few of in white and black

  13. New Here says

    I’ve been reading Corporette for years, and lurking here for almost a year now. I’ve officially joined the ranks – my maternity leave ended yesterday. I’m working from home (my entire office is – marketing) as is my husband, and we’re trying to take care of our 3 month old. Her daycare is still open, but I can’t bring myself to send her.

    I feel really disconnected from my team. I had a call with my boss yesterday and he caught me up on a few things, but that’s it. My leave corresponded with our busiest time of year, so right now is typically a lull. But given the current situation, not being busy makes me anxious, even though I’ve been with the company 12 years now. I’m also put out that we hired a new person for our team who started while I was out (even though I told HR and my boss we shouldn’t hire anyone until we knew how busy our account would be following March…no one listened to me!). I knew she would be taking on 1 of my clients…I come back and realize she’s taken on another, one that happened to be my favorite to work on. I told my boss yesterday that I would like to retain at least one project for that client from a personal satisfaction level. He seemed to agree to that, but I haven’t heard anything else about it.

    To top it all off – before I went on leave, I was told I would be promoted when I returned. This promotion has been long-awaited (and overdue, IMHO) and now, obviously, it is on hold.

    Not sure what I’m looking for here, other than a place to vent some anxiety.

    • Anon says

      I would feel anxious just like you. It’s often awkward coming back from maternity leave but this crazy situation we’re in just made it so much more stressful. I would try to be flexible, see where new opportunities might lie in your job beyond your old accounts and what you are used to doing, and try to be a team player and reach out to help where you can. Holding onto the past won’t really help. Many people will lose their jobs and promotions may not be realistic now given the economic realities.

  14. octagon says

    I would love suggestions for YouTube exercise videos for kids — specific channels or videos if possible. Ideally 20-30 minutes. We have done Cosmic Kids Yoga and it’s great but looking for other options. Most of the ones I’ve found are 5 minutes or less, and I need a chunk of time to answer emails and stay caught up on work.

  15. Louisa says

    Slighly freaking out here (okay major freaking out). In additiont to dealing with the new normal of doing my job from home at the same time as my second grader is home/trying to learn/trying to get all the video game time he can, I just got a positive pregnancy test. At 42. We had tried a few years ago, had a miscarriage and gave up.I would feel so much calmer if I was even 39, but 42 seems so old. Like being 60 at a graduation. And my husband and I are so torn, becuase we have more stability and less stress than when we had the first kid and we both want our kid to have a sibling, but is this crazy? It feels like a big adventure/ride and I’m not positive I want to get on it. But at the same time it might be awesome. Luckily have a (video) doctors appointment for other stuff with my PCP this morning. Any thoughts/words of wisdom? Also, the paranoid side of me wonders what our local hospital is going to be like in 8-9 months (we are in an impacted state). But then I want to have enough faith in everything that it will be okay.

    • Louisa says

      To clarify, am 41 now, will be 42 at the time of birth (if everything goes okay).

    • Extra anon for this says

      Fwiw, my kids are about 8 years apart and it is a wonderful age gap. The younger one looks up to big sibling so much, and big sibling is old enough to be semi-helpful and protective, and they don’t have anything to argue about.

      If you’re in a hard-hit state now, the peak is going to happen sooner than elsewhere, so for your specific situation that might be a blessing. I’m not going to lie, though. This is kind of my worst nightmare right now. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.

    • Anonymous says

      Only you can make this decision. Fwiw I am a similar age with a similarly aged kid and I would terminate if I got accidentally pregnant. I didn’t feel that way a few years ago, but now I feel too old to start again. My 30s and 40s were and will be devoted to child-rearing and I really want to be an empty nester in my 50s and 60s. However, I never wanted or tried for a second child and I realize that makes your situation different than mine (although I would not have terminated if I got accidentally pregnant 5 years ago).

    • anon says

      I can tell you want another kid, so have that baby and love that baby. Sure, it’s not what you expected or planned and of course you feel freaked out. I say, do it anyway! To me, this era has made me realize just how much family matters and how nothing is promised, so that is coloring my perspective.

      As an aside, a few of my high school friends had older parents. To us, all of our parents were Very Old and Not Cool regardless of age.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 I say go for it if you initially wanted more than one child. I would not stress about the age gap, I was a late in life surprise for my parents and am 7yrs and 10yrs younger than my siblings. I’m very close with the 10yrs older sibling. I think babies are a great source of joy so congratulations,

    • anon says

      I’m 42 now, 22 weeks pregnant, and have a 6 year old. I of course don’t know yet how the age gap will work in practice, but to date the 6-year old has been SUPER excited (and helpful). He brags to everyone about how he’s going to be a big brother and he already has plans for all of the things he and his little sister are going to do together.

      With the age gap, they’re both going to have the benefit of being an ‘only child’ for a time – he as a youngster and she throughout jr. high and high school – I think that will be a good thing. And as they become adults, a 6-year difference won’t mean much – they’ll be able to support each other.

      I say go for it.

    • Pogo says

      I have a coworker with this age gap for his kids and though I’m not 100% I also think both he and his wife were over 40 for their second. They had several miscarriages in between which I believe was the cause of the gap (he kindly shared once when I was telling him about my first pregnancy). As far as their kiddos, I think they are actually super close and big sis (now at college) loves the little guy. His wife stayed home, so that ameliorates one of the issues that might crop up for you – that I feel like his cohort in our company (other senior leaders) all have kids in college and grown and he still had an elementary schooler. But with his wife home she took on 99% of the parenting duties and school plays and all that stuff that elementary/middle school requires. Typically, people with kids that age are director level and below just based on age, which makes it a little more manageable and less weird to have to duck out mid-day to volunteer with the class or whatever.

      You can also totally nope all that stuff anyway regardless of age! Wouldn’t let it stop you!

    • DLC says

      We had a surprise baby just before my 41st birthday- kids are now 8, 3 , and 6 months old. My life plan never included changing diapers in my forties, but once we got over the shock, we were really excited. I had many moments where I felt like, “I am too old for this” – it’s definitely physically harder, and being plunged back in the baby years is tough when you feel like you can start to see the prospect of retirement. But this is the life we have now and so we just go with it, and actually I’ve learned to love the chaos and the craziness. Plus a lot of my friends in bigger cities tell me that 40 is considered “average age” mom, not “old mom” where they live. No advice, really, because I feel like we’re just muddling through ourselves. I will say, the large age gap between my first two kids was certainly easier to juggle than the smaller age gap between my 2nd and third.

    • AwayEmily says

      Congrats!!! And also this age gap is kind of awesome, in my opinion. I’m 7 years older than my younger brother and it was MUCH easier on my family in many ways (no college at the same time, I could help babysit when older, etc). And now we are reasonably close (and to the extent we’re not it’s because he’s a weirdo, not because he’s 33).

  16. Extra anon for this says

    Complaint time.
    My husband and I are both essential workers and are still sending our toddler to her in-home daycare. I think we’re going to have to pull her. The governor asked anyone who is not essential to keep their kids home but that’s not happening. It’s frustrating. It’s a small in home daycare so I know these people and what their jobs are and I’m selfishly mad that they’re continuing to send their kids in. One has a parent who is a police officer, so I get it, that’s fine. But there are 3 others coming in whose parents aren’t essential and that tells me their parents don’t take it seriously which means I can’t trust that they’re not socializing with the neighbors and going to the grocery store every day. I’m also high risk (immunocompromised) so this just sucks. Now I have to pull my kid and find someone I can pay (and somehow bar them from going anywhere but my house?) on top of paying our in home provider because other people aren’t taking this seriously.

    I wish I had a crystal ball. No way to know if bringing someone into our home is going to give it to us all, or if she’d bring it home to everyone from in home daycare. I hate this.

    • anon says

      Has attendance at daycare dropped to the point that one of the daycare assistants could come to your home instead of going to the home daycare? It would allow that person to continue to get paid and give your kids a familiar face, while minimizing your exposure.

    • Anonymous says

      In your shoes, I wouldn’t even be comfortable sending my child to day care with just the police officer’s child. The fact that his/her job is “essential” doesn’t reduce his/her risk of contracting the virus–if anything, it increases it. I would pull her, stop paying the in-home provider, and cobble together some sort of solution that doesn’t involve bringing in an outside person. Plenty of people are being forced to make do with two jobs and no child care, and you can get through this too. Your older child can help out a little.

      • Extra anon for this says

        My husband has to go in every day and I have to go in some days. Since I’m high risk my employer is trying to avoid it but sometimes it’s unavoidable. We can’t leave her home alone with the older child.

          • Extra anon for this says

            You’re still right, though. There are plenty of families having to figure out similar situations. Having a nurse and an EMT, a Respiratory Therapist and a police officer, etc.

    • Anonymous says

      Why not ask the parents? The parents may be following the guidelines in your state otherwise. Not to cause further stress, but what about those that work at your daycare? My state has health guidelines for those that work in daycares, but does not specifically require that they practice social distancing outside of work.

    • Extra anon for this says

      I think part of this is that I can no longer compartmentalize and I knew intellectually that if a pandemic came we’d both have to work until the bitter end but I just never thought it would be so soon and while the youngest is so young, and I spend my days seeing that there aren’t enough beds and there aren’t enough ventilators and we can spend all day making floor plans for how we’re going to convert gymnasiums into field hospitals and it’s still not going to be enough and I look out the window to see the neighbors sitting in a circle in their lawn chairs while their kids play together and I want to scream and cry because I’m so mad at them and so sad for what could happen to them. And as much as I want to pretend that, because we’re doing everything we can to stay safe while doing our jobs, that we’re going to be immune from it but I know that’s not the truth and that’s not how this works because one person who is around one person you know is all it takes and AAAAAHHHH

      • avocado says

        Sending you virtual hugs and real prayers. You are fighting the good fight.

      • Anon says

        That has to be maddening, I’m sorry.

        I’d be willing to grant more grace to the families at daycare because even though you know what their jobs are, you don’t know if they’re having to choose between going to work or losing their job. It shouldn’t be that way but unfortunately some employers are still doing this.

        The neighbors who are gathering have no excuse though. That’s indefensible at this point in my opinion.

        • Pogo says

          This. It doesn’t make it ANY less frustrating for you, but know that the list of “essential” businesses is very long and excludes very little in my state. My husband and I both work for “essential” businesses because we provide manufacturing support to healthcare/pharma, for example. We can work from home because we in management and not actually the ones making the product, but there are people staffing our plants. Those people have special letters to carry with them to go into work that say they’re “essential”. Are they essential like a nurse or EMT or you doing pandemic preparedness? No not really. But I feel for those manufacturing workers who are paid hourly and would have to use PTO or unpaid leave to not come to work (many are still choosing to do so for the safety of their family, and I feel awful that’s a choice they have to make).

          I totally get that this is probably not the deal w/ the parents at your daycare, but just pointing out because even I was surprised how many things were “essential”.

          I’m bummed for you that your state has not done but we did in MA which was close everything and then only open certain centers for children of frontline/actually essential employees (nurses, doctors, police, etc). To me that seems fair, and allows them to carefully control # of children together at one point to limit exposure (you have to apply through the government).

      • IHeartBacon says

        Extra anon for this , your post is why my household sheltered-in long before our city and state issued Shelter in Place orders. We did it to protect ourselves, but also to help protect all of you who still have to go out there and fight the fight. You may see folks who are still carrying on like it’s all no big deal, but know that there are also a lot of folks (my family included) who are taking this seriously, who are thinking of you, praying for you, and have endless gratitude for you, your husband, and all the other folks out there like you. Thank you for everything you are doing.

        • Cate says

          +1 well said IHeartBacon! I’ve really benefited from Extra Anon’s insights as well.

  17. So Anon says

    My mom, aged 71, is applying for a temporary nursing license in our state. She is a retired nurse who is head of our local rotary and on the board of one of the local hospitals. The major medical center in our area already reached out to her for assistance (very experienced nurse and administrator). I am simultaneously so proud that she is going to step in to help and devastated. Once she sets foot in the hospital, my kids nor I will be able to spend time with her in person, and she is my local family and biggest support. I am scared for her too; she is healthy with no underlying health conditions, but this is still terrifying.

    • Extra anon for this says

      That is so amazing and tough. So many retired professionals now are making these decisions between their families and their community/calling. I don’t know what I would do in their shoes, but I admire their decision either way.

    • IHeartBacon says

      So Anon, I just responded to some comments by Extra anon for this (above), by I say the same thing to your mom.

    • Anonymous says

      Thank you to your mom and all the others helping. Her bravery and strength are rare and beautiful.

  18. anon says

    I don’t know what to think about this. The place where my kids take swim lessons is closed indefinitely. Today we got a text message that the staff members are volunteering their time to swim families who need childcare during this time. On one hand, what a nice gesture, and boy is it needed. On the other … yikes, that’s crossing some social distancing lines, yes?

    • Anonymous says

      Half the posts on here are from desperate parents trying to figure out childcare, and some will need to hire in home care. Think that they’re both providing a service and trying to help their staff out.

    • Anonymous says

      Having one person care for your kid in your home setting is a lot different than sending your kid to a daycare center. Not the same risk level at all. Not everyone can stop working to care for kids. Not everyone can afford to sit at home, unemployed. I think it’s fine to connect people like that.

    • Anonymous says

      In my area this is allowed if the parents are essential workers or otherwise allowed to work. It is recommended that public transport not be used if the caregiver is not live in, and that both families practice social distancing rigorously – so the babysitter is just exposed to your family and her immediate family who reside in her home or her roommate etc.

      • anne-on says

        +1 – although quite frankly it is I think a bigger risk to the daycare provider than to the families of first responders whose parents are being exposed. Both our immediate neighbors are first responders and they go to extreme lengths (change in garage, straight to bathroom to wash up, etc.) so as not to get their families sick. The people who are watching their children are also taking a calculated risk and doing a great service, IMHO just as much as nurses/doctors/grocery store workers are.

  19. Anonymous says

    How do they go to sleep normally at night time? I’d repeat that routine but in miniature. Honestly our DD did not go down for a nap easily until we sleep trained her (Ferber) at 17 months. After that we could just pop her in the crib and sh would fall asleep in 5 mins.

  20. Anonymous says

    Might ask again to make more comments tomorrow, but what would you do? Our small co-op daycare is having us keep paying tuition so the teachers still get paid, which I am ok with because they are clearly trying hard to figure out ways to reduce, while still make sure we can be up and running right away when possible. But I realized today (through a FaceTime with one of the teachers) that at least one teacher is nannying right now for another family in the class. So, the teacher is either getting paid double from both daycare employment and the family to nanny, or the family is one of the few still paying tuition and getting care. Should I tell the director? But what could they even do about it? It just feels really unfair- I want care that I am paying for too! But obviously the teachers can’t nanny for anyone, nor do we have the set-up for that.

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