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Now that we’re in March, I can start thinking about spring!
To me, baby bunnies are synonymous with spring, and here’s a bunny hoodie that’s perfect for your little baby! This bunny hoodie is made from soft, cotton yarns and features bunny ears and an embroidered bunny face. What a fun way to welcome spring!
This Baby Bunny Hoodie Pullover from Hanna Andersson is $60 and comes in sizes 0-3 mos. to 3 yrs.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Cb says
That’s adorable! We’re seeing signs of spring here but looks like snow in the forecast next week.
What’s everyone up to this weekend? I’ve got a big garden to do list, and kiddo has music and swim, and a birthday party. Hoping it’s a dropoff party.
avocado says
My teenager has a show choir competition tonight and we are both singing Mozart on Sunday. This is her first season in show choir and it is so much fun! Especially since some of my friends also have choir kids so we get to sit together in the cheering section. Saturday morning we need to clean out the garage because we have some good stuff in there to donate to the charity yard sale.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Winter storm warning over here for tonight/tomorrow so winter is not over! Older kid is starting indoor soccer tomorrow, but we’ll see if we’re able to drive in the morning. Hoping the mountains are good for us to ski on Sunday!
Anne-on says
Yes, we are SO excited for more snow!!
My husband and kiddo have a ski day planned tomorrow (assuming roads are clear enough) so I get to sleep in, get a massage, and meet a friend for coffee.
Anonymous says
Our little ski hill has really struggled this year because of the ridiculous temperatures. We’ve only managed to get out three times. They are closed this weekend but we are crossing our fingers for snowmaking temps late next week and maybe one last day on the snow that weekend.
Pogo says
Same, DH is heading up north tonight for a ski day with his friends tomorrow, then taking our oldest to a closer/cheaper mountain Sunday. Planning to bake something, play in the snow, and just have a laid-back day w/ the kids tomorrow – I feel like we are all still catching up from being away on Feb break (+ 2 hr delay + half day this week = still off our routine!!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ward Hill? Might see you there! We’ve been going there and Nashoba this winter. Luckily they can make a lot of their own snow…
Pogo says
We normally do Nashoba but I think he’s taking him to Sunapee now that he can ride the lift.
GCA says
DH took kid 1 (7.5) to Sunapee this past weekend! It seems pretty beginner-friendly.
Anonymous says
Just an fyi that U12 and U14 state championships are at sunapee this weekend. It will be busier than normal (which is crazy busy).
But we love Sunapee!
AwayEmily says
My husband is getting a vasectomy this afternoon, woohoo! So he’ll be recovering this weekend and we’ll all take it easy. The big kids both have playdates on Sunday and the baby will be catching up on sleep as usual (we adore our daycare but she takes the worst naps there).
Mary Moo Cow says
One daughter has regular gymnastics lessons on Saturday morning and other daughter has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon, so that’s probably our fun on Saturday. I’d like to do some early spring cleaning or crafting over the weekend, but my older daughter has to make a coke bottle Helen Keller for school due Monday, so that’s probably as crafty as I will get.
Anon318 says
It is when reading comments like these that I’m so happy to live in Florida! It is a lovely, sunny 83 degrees right now, and everything outdoors (and indoors, it seems) is covered with 3-4 inches of yellow oak pollen. It looks like our gigantic oaks are done blooming, so my weekend will probably include pressure washing the back porch and outdoor furniture.
We are on week 5 of having at least one sick kid with just four blissful days of both kids in school in that period, so the rest of the weekend will likely be dividing and conquering with DH to get other kid to her weekend activities.
Anonymous says
Drifts of pollen and 83-degree temperatures in early March make me sad. I like drifts of snow and 30-degree temperatures at this time of year.
Anon says
You expect 30 degrees and snowdrifts in March!?! Where do you live? I live in the Midwest and March is normally cold and yucky but that means like 40 and rainy, not 30 and snowing!
Anonymous says
I don’t expect that weather at all, but I’d like it for spring skiing!
Anon says
Weird comment, I’m in the Northeast and it’s very common to have a snow storm in March. I’ve lived in NY & CT and often have a yard full of snow for the first half of the month.
Anon says
It’s certainly not unheard of to have snow in March, but I don’t hope for it! I actually like winter but by March I’m very ready for warmer temps and the first spring flowers.
EDAnon says
I like winter to stick around for March so I can ski and completely disappear by April. 😀
Anon says
Purim Spiel at Sunday school, and signing up for a gym just so my extroverted only child can use the childcare program, lol. I’m tired of constantly bugging other moms for playdates and formal activities don’t meet my kid’s desire for free play time with peers, so we’re hoping this will. A bunch of her school friends go to the same gym, but at this point I think she’d take anyone roughly her age.
Anon. says
I’m going a little stir crazy as my husband has been traveling nonstop lately. We just booked a very last minute weekend away to St Louis – a few hours drive from home. Magic House and hotel pool tomorrow, zoo on Sunday when it’s supposed to be 60 degrees!
Anon says
St. Louis is a fun place with kids! Enjoy.
Megs says
In case you see this, and because I love my city..on Sunday at the zoo you will be right next to the (free!) art museum where there are (free!) family activities. Go! https://www.slam.org/event/family-sunday-family-florals/
AuPair says
Crowdsourcing: Would love to hear your thoughts on Au Pairs – we are considering one for our family of 5, with kids ages 6 (in K), 3 and 1 – we’re in daycare but the illness is KNOCKING us out. We’ve had one week of sick-free kids since Thanksgiving. We’re exhausted and looking at other options.
If we were to go this route we’d likely put the 3 yr old in part-time pre-school in addition to the AP, so she’d be taking the elementary kid to school and responsible for the baby FT and 3 yr old sometimes.
If you’ve used an AP would you share your experience and agency?
Anonymous says
An au pair can’t work enough hours to do full time infant care. Is so it in your circumstances but with everyone in full time school or day car and use your au pair hours for before and after care and sick days.
OP says
Oops to clarify, I’m off on Fridays – so she’d be doing care M-Th for the 1 yr old
Anne-on says
We haven’t had an au pair in a few years, but with the agency we used (cultural care) you’re limited BOTH for hours per week AND hours per day. I think it was 8 hrs/day max. So even if she’s only working M-Th you can’t have her work more than 9-5 (or however you want to split it). There may also be limitations in hours of coverage for infants/requirements for lunch breaks. Essentially au pairs aren’t meant to replace full time nannies, they’re a great supplement for day care or before/aftercare but it’s not like you get 50 hours a week, 8-6pm care for a 3 kids.
Anon says
It’s 10 hours per day max, not eight.
Anon says
Basically all the info in this post is wrong. You’re better off doing a search for au pair restrictions on the internet.
Boston Legal Eagle says
No experience with au pairs, but I think you’d want a nanny in this case. To provide full time care for a baby + watch other children occasionally/often. I think au pairs are more for older kids in school, so you have help around the margins before and after, and random snow/sick days.
NYCer says
I do not have personal experience, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt…. The families I know who have had the most successful experience with au pairs have slightly older kids who are in school part or full time (e.g., your 3 and 6 year old), with the au pair helping to get everyone out the door and then covering afternoons or some evenings. I do not personally know anyone who has used an au pair for full time coverage of an infant or young toddler, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
NYCer says
Oops hit reply too soon. I wanted to add… I think you should consider a nanny rather than an au pair until your 1 year old is in school part time at least.
OP says
Thanks – sounds like we’ll dig into the nanny route for now and maybe an Au Pair once we’re a bit older.
Anon says
We’ve had au pairs for 6 years, starting when our youngest was about 1.5 yo and our other was 4 yo. It’s worked out amazingly for our family. We’ve supplemented hours with either part time daycare or grandparents so our au pairs never went over hours and usually have a mid day break. We love the flexibility and having our kids watched by someone who loves them.
You get 45 hours max a week with no more than 10 hour days, plus they need 1.5 days off uninterrupted per weekend. Despite that rule, I’d never leave an au pair alone with 3 kids for 10 hours on any regular basis (for instance in the summer). That sounds like a recipe for a miserable au pair. I’d find part day activities for the older ones or stagger schedules so her day isn’t so long. Your schedule with Fridays off would probably be pretty popular as lots of au pairs would love having long weekends to travel.
Anonymous says
So interesting you posted this because I was just about to post and ask about anyone’s experience with au pair rematch (and I still will) but want to answer your post first.
As background, I have 3 kids (7, 5 and 4). We have had 2 au pairs, one from Colombia, one from Brazil (current). We use CulturalCare. Another mom friend has has 10 au pairs and uses AuPair in America, and prefers it over Cultural Care for the local support.
Our experience has been this:
– the agency does very little to vet candidates. I feel like it’s more of an online dating website, so you need to really interview throughly and feel comfortable with the candidate.
– the benefits are: flexible live-in child care, up to 45hrs a week, someone who becomes integrated with your family. The flex part is the biggest benefit for us- filling in the gaps on all the odd hours. Our au pair works a split schedule (pickup and drop off) and helps on the random days the kids don’t have school.
– the downsides. Someone is living in your house (you lose privacy). If the match isn’t great, then it’s massively time consuming. (Right now, our current au pair who described herself as quiet I’m discovering has significant social anxiety and ADD). It’s surprising how the expenses add up too, food, phone, fuel. The market is hot for au pairs so many are talking to their friends and asking for crazy things.
I guess my perspective is having an au pair will solve the sick days/random days coverage that you need, but may introduce a host of other issues (which are manageable, but you will need to consciously and actively manage them)
We have tried a variety of solutions over the past 7 years (3 in daycare, nanny, one spouse at home, etc). What we found worked best was 1. try not to think about it too much from a financial perspective, and instead about what works best for your family especially the emotional well being of kids and spouses, 2. a part time mommies day out program for the little ones that aren’t in school plus au pair for odd hours.
I know it’s hard… sending hugs!
Anon says
Please ignore the people without experience of having an au pair. :)
We have an au pair and plan to use this form of childcare until our newborn can drive! We have never used any other form of childcare for our children, our first au pair started when DS was 3 months old.
As to the schedule, you are limited to 45 hours a week, 10 hours per day. If you have them work throughout the day, there must be at least a 3 hour break (e.g., if they only have responsibility for drop off and pick up for school child). We have used our au pairs to cover work hours, so no concerns about weekend time/rules. Our au pairs seem to prefer our schedule – lots of their friends work on the weekend and don’t have as much time for fun and travel. We have the ability to have one parent there until 8 and the other home by 6 to make the 10 hours work M-Th. On day five, we have grandparent coverage for the extra 5 hours. Our au pair handles preschool drop off and pick up for DS everyday.
You have to be on board with adding a family member to the mix – they are not just staff that live in your home. We really enjoy the aspect of introducing a young person to the US, but it comes with navigating additional issues that don’t come up with a nanny (e.g., helping them access medical care, homesickness, parking tickets!). As far as the privacy – ours have never encroached too much on “our time”. 22 year olds do not want to spend all of their free time with middle-aged parents! Usually we see them for dinner during the week and then they’re off having their lives.
We have not had to rematch – common pitfalls are not being upfront about expectations, not being prepared to bring them into the family fold (e.g., treating like staff), not providing a car (we lease one for the au pair’s use) and generally bad vetting. Some of our best friends rematched 3 times, and honestly it was a family problem, not an au pair problem.
Anon says
For those of you who work remotely full-time and have kids in elementary school, do you use a before and after care program through the school, or are you able to do without? My job is flexible and routine so I could conceivably make it work but I know between child sick days and other household demands, I often feel stretched thin keeping all the balls in the air. One big draw of the program is that it also covers teacher in-service days, some holidays and offers a summer program that’s affordable, but it sounds like it’s often challenging to get a slot and preference is given to students who need full-time care, which may be more than we need.
Anon says
Yes to after care. I have the day of enrollment marked on my calendar, since it fills up fast. We struggled through without during the COVID years, and even though kiddo is older and more self sufficient than he was then, there’s no scenario where I can fully concentrate on work while he’s home. Plus, knowing that the care is always available means that every once in a while I can make medical appointments for myself or sometimes fit in a trip to the gym after work but before kid pick-up. Not having to reconsider ‘who’s going to watch the kid’ every time I want to do something other than work between 230 and 5 every day is worth the cost of full time aftercare for me.
Anonymous says
+1 to all of this. Even if you have an independent kid who rides the bus home and won’t be begging for attention all afternoon, it’s really disruptive to have to welcome them home and get them settled and then have them lurking in the background. Having summers, early release days, and all the random days off covered is a huge sanity-saver as well.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Husband and I work mostly from home, although we go in once or twice a week. We don’t use before care because we can make school start times work with the bus, but we do use after care and my dad comes twice a week, so it’s full time after care coverage. They do also cover school vacation weeks and are open for our once a month or so early releases, so that’s a plus. Honestly, it’s relatively cheap ($300/mo for 3 days a week), especially compared to daycare, so it’s well worth it to not have to juggle work and a still small child.
FVNC says
It has changed for me over time. When my oldest was in K-1, and youngest was still in daycare, oldest went to aftercare at her school. In grades 2 and 3, we didn’t do aftercare, and youngest was still in daycare. It worked, because she was happy to read and she had no homework to supervise.
In a new school district this year, with a K-er and 4th grader. School doesn’t start until 9:15 so they do before-care but not aftercare. This allows my core workday to be ~8 am – 4:15 pm. Our program also covers teacher work days and snow days (theoretically; we’ve not had any!), which has been awesome. Overall, this schedule works well for us and we’ll do the same thing next year.
AwayEmily says
I have a direct comparison for you! During my daughter’s first year in elementary she was NOT in aftercare because I was pregnant and we were being extra Covid-cautious. My husband I both have very flexible jobs (academics) so we made it work. This year we enrolled her in aftercare and WOW it has made a huge difference to my quality of life. Even if your kid is super self-sufficient at home (and mine was!), I basically lost almost an hour on pickup between getting there, loading them into the car, getting them home and chatting for a bit, etc. Which makes it very challenging to schedule meetings or have a productive afternoon.
Cb says
All the kids go to the adjacent playpark after school and I’d feel bad hurrying him home while his pals were playing.
Cb says
My husband is 4/5 days a week at home, and I’m home 1.5 days a week during term time (out of the country the rest) and home fulltime outside of term, and we still use wraparound care – breakfast club every day and aftercare most days.
It’s a lifesaver. It’s 30-40 minutes roundtrip to go and get him on the bike, so it’s a big chunk out of our days, and honestly, if he was home every afternoon while we were working, we’d probably use screens more. At aftercare, he gets a snack, makes friends with kids outside his classroom, and spends loads of time outside.
If you can swing it financially, I’d do it.
Anonymous says
I don’t. We never even considered using before care, because the school days starts at 8:30 and I don’t usually begin work until 9. My kid is extroverted and would love time to play with other kids after school, but the aftercare at our schools is really bad and involves way too much screen time so we decided to try going without for kindergarten to see how it went and it was surprisingly smooth. We have her enrolled in a couple of afterschool activities (that I pick her up and drive her to), but she mainly wants unstructured play time. In nice weather, we stay at the school playground most days after school, in bad weather we come home and she plays at home after we have a snack and some play together time. Next year we’re hoping to trade off some childcare/playdates with neighbors, so I will hopefully only have her 2-3 days a week and there should be another kid here most of the time she’s home. I know I’m lucky to have a job that’s more flexible than most, and I’m sure having only one kid is a factor, but overall it’s been way more manageable than I expected it to be.
Anonymous says
Of course. Elementary school hours do not equal full time work hours. And I have a full time job.
anon says
On paper we could do without before/after care, since kids get on the bus at 8:30 and get off at 4:45, so that is technically an 8-hour day, but it basically means no flexibility to do anything else.
Anon318 says
In your situation, I would definitely sign up for the aftercare program. I also WFH at a flexible job. I do drop off at school (8am start, so no before care required) and have another family to pickup. If kids are not in any after care activites, they get home around 4 which is fine a few days a week. Kids are very independent and only need a little snuggle and snack suggestion (to keep them from reaching for junk first), then I can go back to work. We did one quarter where they were home at 4pm four days per week and it got old for me pretty quickly. The sweet spot seems to be to have them in some kind of aftercare/after school activity 3-4 days per week, then have one day (usually Friday), where they can just crash at home in the afternoon. In your case, I would use your flexibility to pick them up early from aftercare if you think they could use extra time to decompress at home, but not as an every day thing.
Fallen says
We do! We use the YWCA which works out well bc she does a lot of after school activities there (eg swim team, basketball, etc). Mine is in 5th grade next year and getting bored of it for the first time this year outside of the sports she has, so next year we will probably just have her do it the days she has her swim practices etc (which is actually 3-4 days a week) and pick her up when the activities are done. But she will walk home by herself next year most likely so it’s different (my 5 year old will be doing it next year all week). Honestly when she took a month off due to covid when younger it was fine but she found the aftercare more fun than being home.
GCA says
If aftercare is available and affordable, go for it. We mostly wfh – school is 7:45 to 2 and aftercare runs till 5:30. We use that extra flex time to wrap up calls, start dinner prep, work out, etc. and if we don’t need it, just pick kiddo up a little earlier, at 4:30 or 5.
Anonymous says
My spouse is a teacher and the kids go to his school and even so we use 1-2 days of after care a week. If he weren’t available to pick them up at 3:45 we would use it every day. It’s a big cost cutter for him to be the parent on duty from 3:45-5:30 but it means he need to do planning / grading after the kids go to bed. We use aftercare for the days he has meetings after school (which are on a regular schedule) and for teacher planning days when he works but the kids don’t have school. I work hybrid but mainly from home. On the random days where I pick up or he drops kids off at home, even though they are old enough to mostly manage themselves I still don’t get much work done bc of random interruptions, and my work is very meeting focused which makes those interruptions hard.
Anon says
Yes for sure you should plan on some care. We don’t do before but we do aftercare four days a week, and are considering dialing back to three days a week. It is essential to have the buffer, and the access to day off camps wouod be a huge benefit, there are so many random days off in elementary school.
Anon says
We do not use aftercare, but I put my kindergartener on the bus at 8:30 and pick her up from the neighborhood bus stop at 4:45 (vs. with aftercare, I would have to drive to go pick her up at the school at 5), so it is close to a whole day, and I usually work in another hour or two (or more) in the evening while she self-directs with art, magnatiles, mario cart, lego, etc. or DH handles.
Anonymous says
You can, but you shouldn’t. Someone has to get them off the bus. Your kids will want to come home and chat at the end of the day. They won’t want to sit quietly from 3-5:30.
In our area, kids either don’t after care or go home and have activities a few times during the week. I don’t know many/any kids that go home and watch tv until dinnertime every day.
Could you make it work with say, a babysitter 3x/week? Yep! Or even a neighbor friend that’s always home to play with. You certainly have a lot more flexibility and don’t need after care every day, but you’ll want something.
Cb says
My husband is 4/5 days a week at home, and I’m home 1.5 days a week during term time (out of the country the rest) and home fulltime outside of term, and we still use wraparound care – breakfast club every day and aftercare most days.
It’s a lifesaver. It’s 30-40 minutes roundtrip to go and get him on the bike, so it’s a big chunk out of our days, and honestly, if he was home every afternoon while we were working, we’d probably use screens more. At aftercare, he gets a snack, makes friends with kids outside his classroom, and spends loads of time outside.
If you can swing it financially, I’d do it. I think it’s helpful to have slightly more care than you’d need.
Anne-on says
Well, it took 3 years into the pandemic but my mute button skills finally failed me. I picked up a call from my kid’s doctor and treated everyone on an all-hands call to the first few minutes of me trying to reschedule an appointment they’d cancelled on me. Oh well, at least it’s Friday.
Anon says
Bless my coworker who muted me last week after I accidentally unmuted myself while chatting with the toddler and prepping dinner.
She has young kids too and I appreciated the subtle solidarity.
AwayEmily says
During an academic job talk this semester, one of my fellow faculty who had joined via Zoom said, very clearly “Do you think you’re going to throw up? If you’re going to throw up, you need to go right to the bathroom.” He was home watching his sick preschooler and had forgotten to mute. He was super embarrassed afterwards but everyone thought it was adorable.
Anon says
Solid advice at any age, really.
FVNC says
5 yr old is home with me today due to a stomach bug, and was quietly curled up in a chair in my office so I thought it was safe to take an intro call with a VP I’m newly supporting. Five minutes in, I — and the other two participants — hear retching as kid vomits. VP was very kind (“Is that a dog getting sick? No? Oh, take what time you need!”) but…yeah, solidarity.
Anonymous says
I tried to post this yesterday but it went in the void so trying again.
Help me navigate a friendship issue with my 2nd grader. My daughter is besties with this girl who is not always very nice to her. Daughter is young for her grade level and bestie is one of the oldest and at this age it feels almost like a bit of a younger/older sibling relationship. I generally wouldn’t be involved in their personal drama but what is causing me some concern is that when bestie is not so nice to my daughter, my daughter just follows her around and does whatever she says and basically acts like a total pushover. For example, at school lunchtime, bestie will say she’s not playing with her and then my kid will follow her around and bestie will give her “orders” – like “okay, maybe I will play with you if you go do X…” and then she does, and then she’s given a new task, and this is the game… other times, she’ll say “okay, I will play with you next week, you can make an appointment..” If my daughter is the one who is unavailable for, say, a play date, then bestie gives her the cold shoulder for a day or two after. It’s like a terrible relationship half the time. The other half, they’re fine and normal, lovely children.
To be clear, I am not trying to police what the best friend is doing. She’s generally a nice kid and I think she is just taking advantage of her popular, oldest, alpha girl status and testing boundaries of what she can get away with. What I am trying to figure out is how to help my kid navigate this – I can’t stop them from being friends, I can only do so much to cultivate other friendships, and I really want to just teach my kid that she shouldn’t put up with crap like this from anyone, “best friend” or otherwise. So far, we have a lot of talks about how this is not kind and friends need to be kind, and then we talk about how if bestie doesn’t want to play, she should go play with other friends and not let it get to her. She has other friends. What else can I do to help her set the terms of this friendship and stand up for herself a bit more? I think my concern is that this not be the pattern for other relationships down the line, too.
Anon says
I think you’re saying and doing the right things, and I also don’t think this dynamic is something to be super worried about. I think it’s a fairly normal thing for kids to go through and it doesn’t mean every friendship is going to follow the same pattern down the line. My 5 year old had a similar dynamic last year in pre-K with a then 5 year old and another 4 year old. All three of them were a tight trio but the older girl would kind of play the younger two against each other and at times kind of treated them like her servants and made them compete for her affection. This year, the older girl is gone and my daughter and the same age kid (who is super sweet) are besties. We’re still friendly with the older girl (things are much better one on one) and all three of them were reunited for the first time at my kid’s birthday party and it was great, no hint of the old dynamic. Kids grow up and mature – your daughter will eventually realize she doesn’t want to put up with this and/or the older girl will grow out of it.
Anonymous says
If your school is like ours and only allows kids to interact with kids from their own class and has the teacher supervise recess, you could talk to the teacher and ask her to encourage your daughter to play with other kids. At my daughter’s elementary school the teachers were very involved in friend-matching, which actually worked out poorly for my daughter because the teachers were always saddling her with the mean and nasty kids because she was nice.
Anon says
Oof to labeling elementary age kids mean and nasty. I get what you’re saying, that a kid shouldn’t have to be everyone’s friend just because they don’t object, but sticking a kid as young as 5 with labels like “mean” and “nasty” is really harsh.
Anonymous says
I understand where you’re coming from. I hate seeing my daughter fall into some unhealthy friend dynamics too. (And I myself fell into this as a child.) You’re doing the right things by recognizing it.
Maybe you could ask a teacher about some resources for your daughter. I think they would generally fall into the bucket of “assertiveness” resources- here are my needs, here are yours, and they’re different, and I don’t need to be part of what you’re doing just to feel good about myself.
Anonymous says
Anyone here have experience with au pair rematch? I’m on the fence some days about our au pair when it comes to driving and safety. Would just like to hear some of your stories about rematch experience.
Anon says
We never gone through rematch–its always made me super nervous. I know some instances when families have had luck with a rematch au pair, but less than 50% success. There’s often a real reason the au pair is in rematch. Absolutely make sure you talk to the current host parents. If you have flexibility on a start date, you’ll be able to be choosier.
If you can, you can also look for an in country au pair that’s extending and wants to try a new location. If you’re somewhere nice or have good hours/few kids, you may have luck getting someone experienced and great.
Rematch says
I’ve had 2 au pairs and thought about rematching for driving issues. We had a serious meeting with au pair and said we would rematch if her driving skills did not improve. She took it seriously and got better. I still don’t love her, like I did our first au pair, but she’s good enough and rematch seems like a huge pain. I agree that your best bet is someone extending for another year but wants a new location. For us, an au pair/live-in help is by far our best option. We have intense weather in a semi remote area so extremely limited options for full time care and ultimately not reliable to have someone driving in to us everyday.
Anon says
I learned last night that one of my closest friends is most likely moving out of state soon and I’m in such a funk over it. We only met a few years ago but instantly clicked and became fast friends. She lives within walking distance, our kids are the same ages and go to the same school, our husbands get along, and we see eye to eye on so many things. I feel like it’s so hard to find those connections and make truly good friends when you’re older and I’m so bummed that she’s likely moving soon. I know we’ll stay in touch but it’s not going to be the same and I’m having a hard time focusing at work today because I’m so sad.
I just needed to throw myself a small internet pity party in the hopes it helps me actually get something done today.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that sucks! Your pity party is justified.
EDAnon says
I have had that happen and it sucks. I am so sorry.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
One the replies – re being muted while chatting with toddler while prepping dinner and being muted on a call, kid coming home vs. aftercare, makes me me curious.
I work for a pretty family supportive department/organization. It’s also a very intense work environment – two of our CEO’s key metrics to our board come from our department.
Almost everyone I work with is a parent, specifically a Mom, with kids of various ages – from babies to college students. No one has a SAH partner. A few single parents.
If an informal call/meeting was happening later in the day (e.g. 6 PM), it’d be fine to be chatting with kids, prepping dinner, etc. I’ve done it before many times. But during business hours, and any type of official meeting/conference call (e.g. 4 PM) – no way unless it’s a one-off/sick kid at home type situation, or like the early months of the pandemic.
Also for my own sanity I need to block work hours for work (okay, and squeezing in a workout) vs. household things/parenting — again, understanding sick days, doc appointments, etc. need to happen during typical business hours.
Wondering what others’ experiences are!
Anon says
My organization is big on monthly+ “all hands” virtual meetings that are frankly pretty useless but attendance is mandatory so I have no problem taking a personal phone call during them.
If someone schedules a meeting outside of typical business hours (for us that’s 8-5) then they’re going to hear my family and I’m not going to apologize for it.
Otherwise, I prefer to have dedicated childcare for my working hours.
Anonymous says
My employer requires full-time child care for remote workers. This was waived for the first couple years of the pandemic but is now back in place. I am pretty lax about kids in the background, but if the higher-ups find out that you have a sick kid at home they will tell you to take PTO. One ridiculous example of this was when someone had a sick teenager at home. The teenager was taking care of themself, but management wanted the parent to claim PTO.
Anonymous says
I mean I am pretty lax about other people’s kids in the background. I want mine out of the house when I’m working.
GCA says
I work in environmental and social sustainability comms, which includes reading all the research you can think of on women in the workforce. We have a few parents on the team, not just moms; the man who heads marketing has a toddler and works four days a week for childcare reasons. I joke that if a client is not understanding about the occasional sick kid at home, they aren’t the right fit for us. (So much ‘let’s post about our outstanding women for International Women’s Day!’ without interrogating why there are so few women at the top at your workplace.) I do prefer to have full childcare coverage during my own work hours so I can focus.
Anon says
I work in higher ed (staff), it’s not a very intense environment and I don’t have many meetings and have a fair amount of say about when they’re scheduled so I typically don’t have them after 3 pm, but I agree it would be unusual to hear a kid on a call unless the kid was under the age of 5 and home sick. I don’t recall ever being on a call with my child present except in spring/summer 2020 when daycare was closed. I definitely prefer to work with my child not present, but I also prefer to spend a chunk of the traditional business day with my kid, since my job is not very demanding. So I try to condense my workday and do a lot of early pickups from daycare or aftercare. When my husband is traveling I keep the longer childcare hours but condense the workday so I have a little “me time” since that’s hard to find in the evenings with a young kid when you’re solo parenting.
Anon says
I have a stay at home spouse and my kid (before starting elementary school) was known to pop in and out of my office during the day and wave to (internal) people on my calls on the days I am home (have been hybrid since fall of 2020). She still does on the gazillion days off they have. As a toddler she would often curl up behind me in my chair for naps. For external calls DH tries to keep her off camera and out of sound range (noise cancelling microphone is huge) but she is a barnacle and my home office door doesn’t lock, so short of physically restraining her (leading to yelling you can hear at the mailbox) it happened. Now at 5 she knows to look for headphones or a zoom screen and sometimes crawls in to hand me notes because she knows she can’t be seen on camera from the floor. On an international project with Asia at the moment, so a lot of calls right in the middle of morning get out the door time and evenings and while I try to be quick with the mute button, kid noise happens from time to time but I don’t get fussed over it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a higher up role but am senior enough to have flexibility and lots of goodwill with everyone. Plus my team is awesome and would not care at all about kids in the background. But, I work much better when the kids are not home and would not do well with them home 3-5 everyday after school. Occasional sick and snow days aside. Nighttime calls do happen and I either skip them, saying I have home obligations (see: goodwill), or I make it work with kids in the background.
Anonymous says
The company I’ve been talking to sent me a background check request. So I guess I have a job. I just need to hire a nanny, right? I have to be in the office two days a week initially. My twins have 7-5 day care coverage all week, but my kindergartener’s day ends at 3:10. In theory DH could handle afternoons the two days I’m in office. But that doesn’t seems like the best option. Not that he’s not a great dad, I just feel like something will likely come up with his job often enough to make it messy (he works by appointment). I’m already planning to outsource laundry and hire a weekly house keeper.
Anonymous says
You don’t have to hire a nanny. What is the availability of after-school care? Check preschools, the YMCA, the JCC, and sports facilities.
Anon says
Congrats! Aftercare seems like a much easier and cheaper option than a nanny. In my area it’s like $5k a year for aftercare and $60k+ for a nanny, so not even in the same ballpark cost wise. I also think many kindergartners would prefer to be at aftercare playing with friends vs home with a nanny and younger siblings.
Anonymous says
Why would you have to hire a nanny? This is what aftercare is for
Child care woes says
Can we talk about how stressful finding reliable child care is? Our daycare/preschool has gone downhill suddenly and it’s a stressful situation. But with three kiddos there, it’s so hard to find anywhere to even move them that isn’t waitlisted for 12-18 months.
I’ve never really wanted to stay at home, and I really don’t want to end up in a situation where it’s the only reasonable alternative.
Anonymous says
Childcare is my #1 stressor as a working mom. After-school and summer care for school-aged kids has been even more stressful than full-time day care was.
Anonymous says
100%…. many many sleepless nights spent cobbling together solutions between hubby and I. We don’t have family nearby and even if we did I’m not sure they would want to help except in a pinch. I feel for you! Maybe try the au pair solution others have been talking about!
Anon says
Oh no! Wishing you a good option.