Anti-Racism Resources for Parents Raising White Children
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When we decided to address the issue of raising anti-racist kids, a recent tweet came to mind, which was shared by Jahna Riley, a Black mother and teacher, about a month ago. It has been retweeted 50,000 times, and it’s received 200,000 likes and 3,000 comments. She wrote, “Question for the white folks on my tl: What are you doing to make sure that you’re raising children who won’t kill mine?” What is important for white parents to recognize this week — and in the future — is that we shouldn’t put the responsibility on Black mothers and fathers to teach their children how to avoid being hurt or killed by the police, or any white person — we need to model anti-racism and instill anti-racist principles in our kids. It’s not enough to denounce racism; we must create change. (Note that raising kids to be “colorblind” is not the solution.)
That’s why we’ve rounded up many books and online resources today on raising your kids to be anti-racist. And if you haven’t seen it, check out our post on Corporette earlier this week — it has resources for educating yourself, donating money for bail funds, contacting your legislators to advocate for reforms, and so on. Readers: If you are white, how have you addressed racism and anti-racism with your kids? Do you have any resources to recommend?
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Resources for Parents on Teaching Anti-Racism
- Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey [Amazon; Bookshop]
- How to raise kids to be anti-racist — interview with Ibram X. Kendi [CBS This Morning]
- Racism and Violence: Using Your Power as a Parent to Support Children Aged Two to Five [Zero to Three]
- How do I make sure I’m not raising the next Amy Cooper? (video) [Embrace Race]
- How White Parents Can Use Media to Raise Anti-Racist Kids [Common Sense Media]
- 100 Race-Conscious Things You Can Say to Your Child to Advance Racial Justice [Raising Race Conscious Children]
- Talking Race With Young Children (podcast episode) [NPR]
- ‘Raising White Kids’ Author On How White Parents Can Talk About Race [NPR]
- 8 Tips for Talking to Your Child About Racial Injustice [Embrace Race]
- Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup [Pretty Good]
- George Floyd. Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. What do we tell our children? [USA Today]
Children’s Books That Teach About Racism
- Anti-Racist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi (board book) [Amazon; Bookshop]
- A is for Activist by Innosanto Nagara [Amazon; Bookshop]
- Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice by Marianne Celano, PhD; Marietta Collins, PhD; Ann Hazzard, PhD (read-aloud video) [Amazon; Bookshop]
- Sit-In: How Four Friends Stood Up by Sitting Down by Andrea Davis Pinkney [Amazon; Bookshop]
- We’re Different, We’re the Same by Bobbi Kates [Amazon; Bookshop]
- All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold [Amazon; Bookshop]
- Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh (about a Mexican/Puerto Rican family) [Amazon (Kindle); Bookshop]
- Not My Idea: A Book about Whiteness by Anastasia Higginbotham [Amazon; Bookshop]
- Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi (for young adults) [Amazon; Bookshop]
- 31 children’s books to support conversations on race, racism and resistance [Embrace Race]
Please share your anti-racism resources in the comments! If your kids have been exposed to the news lately, how have you addressed it with them? Have you found any great resources on raising anti-racist kids?
Stock photo via Deposit Photos / michaeljung.
I’m white, married to a white man, raising a white daughter. I grew up in an unusually diverse community (about 1/3 white, 1/3 Black, 1/3 non-Black POC), and while that’s not a magic bullet for becoming an anti-racist adult, I think it’s important. White people have been segregating ourselves for a long time in the guise of “better” neighborhoods and schools. That just can’t fly anymore and never should have. I want my daughter to grow up with genuine, deep friendships and adult role models that include Black and non-Black POC. I became aware at an early age— despite being explicitly taught in school that racism had been overcome in the 60s, sexism had been overcome in the 80s, and everything was hunky dory now— that my whiteness conferred on me certain invisible benefits that my BIPOC friends didn’t have. And when I see horrifying images of Black men killed by police, I can’t help but think of my childhood youth group leader and my friends’ dads I grew up with. That kind of personal experience cannot be manufactured by buying the right books or watching the right TV.
So short of picking up your life and moving, think about where you can start regularly attending activities that will expose your kids to a diverse group of peers. School is an obvious and meaningful choice. Maybe also church, if that’s your thing; sports; other activities like art or dance, if you can find them in a place that doesn’t only draw white families.
A friend shared this with me and it might be hard to read but hits home: https://forge.medium.com/mom-why-dont-you-have-any-black-friends-e59f37e62ed9
I’m married to a black man and we have beautiful, interracial children. I’ll say it has been a very, very emotional and difficult week for our family. A few things I would add to the recs above:
It’s not just important to actively teach about racism and the horrible impact it has (and specifically address the BLM movement and what it hopes to achieve), but there a lot of issues with implicit bias / subtle racism / lack of representation in our society, that are obvious to even young children. Some ways to combat this:
– Teach your kids about important BIPOC historical figures, and don’t rely on schools to do this. This should expand beyond the usual teaching of Rosa Parks and MLK, but should look at people like Ida B. Wells-Barnett, Mae Jemisin, etc. Also, make sure your family knows about events like the Tulsa massacre / Black Wall Street, and other historical events that are never taught in schools (and in my experience, not even at the level of higher education).
– Try to avoid books, movies, and television shows that only have white characters. Our house rule is not to buy any new books or movies if they aren’t diverse, and to focus almost exclusively on media that has one (or ideally more) diverse characters. There’s a lot of lists online for these, but maybe something Corporette Moms could supplement here as well?
– Easier said than done, and depends on your community or social circle, but try to find playmates for your children from different races/cultures. The hurtful comments our children have been subjected to by white children sometimes seem to be the result of the fact that those children have never interacted with anybody who isn’t white.
I’m not saying it’s a panacea, but white parents must consider sending their children to integrated/integrating schools.
Read about others who are doing so here: https://integratedschools.org/
Until we see black and brown children as being as precious as our own, and their education being as important as our kids’ education, we aren’t acting like their lives matter.
Glad this is finally addressed in a post.
Something Happened in Our Town has a good YouTube video up if you don’t have the book and are looking for something today to watch with kids. Note that the story mentions a cop shooting a man, I don’t think I would watch it with a child younger than 5, YMMV. The video is official and was put together by a public library or kids nonprofit or something like that, it is not just some random video.
The Conscious Kid on Instagram has a lot of great resources on how to talk to your kids about many issues, including racial inequality.
We’ve talked about race since they were old enough to understand skin color in their daycare friends (library recs: The Skin You’re In, Shades of Black board book, I Got Rhythm, etc), and around K started talking about Ruby Bridges. I think her story, and making sure to explain she’s the same age as Grandparents, has been really impactful for my kids. They asked if Grandparents were the white kids who wouldn’t go to school with Ruby, which started some great talks about how they didn’t live in the same town as Ruby, but their schools were similar. And then opened up into intent vs impact.
I’ve added some new books to our library this week. The best one so far is “Ruth and the Green Book” about a Black girl who takes a family trip to see grandparents but they’re not allowed to eat in restaurants or stay in hotels. Again, connecting that timeline to people they know, and having them think about what they would teach their kids if that had happened to them, has led to some great discussions.
We did talk about the news this weekend even with my preschooler who understands bad guy/ good guy concepts. It made them sad, so we talked about 1) how their Black friends must be feeling, and how hard it must be to not be able to play with friends to help yourself feel better and 2) what we can do about our sadness – be an ally, make signs, talk to people, etc.
None of this is enough on its own, but hopefully it adds up to a lifetime of discussions that will lead to my kids being better humans than even I am.
For older kids, The Hate U Give and the young readers’ version of Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime. The movie of The Hate U Give is excellent and is more accessible than the book for younger kids (the book has a lot of girlfriend/boyfriend relationship content that may be difficult for kids younger than seventh grade or so).