Weekend & Family Friday: Animal-Shaped Ottomans

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How cute are these animal-shaped ottomans? Home Depot carries a lot of different animal options, and one would definitely fit into any kids’ room theme. My son would get a kick out of this Triceratops version, but I am also partial to the shark, pig, and even the plain round poof. Some animals also come in a storage version, because everyone can use more storage. I also love this as a fun gift option. They are between $59 and $89, depending on shape. Animal-Shaped Ottomans

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Last day of nursery today – about to go and pick my son up after lunch. My mom has moved her flight to tomorrow due to level 4 travel advisory from the state department and we just got news that my husband’s government department is indeed classed as essential and his workplace won’t be closing. Had a counselling appointment and the counsellor said ‘I sense that you have a tense to spiral into what ifs’ in a quite critical manner and I thought, gosh if there was ever a time in which we could spiral for a few days, this must be it, right? I’ll dust myself off on Monday but feel like I’m allowed a few days of wallowing / mourning my hopes and ambitions, right?

Are people paying full or partial fees while daycares are closed? I’m in Ontario, so all daycares have been closed due to the state of emergency. I expect many businesses are not properly insured for this kind of business interruption, but provincial and federal governments have announced aid for small business owners and workers due to Covid-19 precautions. My daycare centre has told me their workers will be paid partial wages for the first few days of closure if they opted to come into the centre to do cleaning/administrative tasks, and then collect government unemployment benefits. I’m being asked to pay full regular fees during the closure to “top up” unemployment for staff. It seems to me that if my regular fees are usually sufficient to fund the full wages of the staff and other operating costs of the centre, there will be a windfall while the centre is only topping up wages and incurring fewer operating costs (food/hydro) while the centre is closed. Or maybe I’m being stingy. I’m looking for anecdata – what’s your daycare situation and what are you paying during this time?

Not a parent but I wanted some guidance. My husband and i are trying to conceive. I ovulated a couple weeks ago, when things were looking questionable but not as bad as they look today, so we had been having fairly regular sex in the days before then. I have a fairly long luteal period, so I won’t be testing for a few days. This is the first month that I’m ambivalent about getting pregnant. I desperately want a baby but i don’t know if i want one right now. Can anyone (especially someone in their early pregnancy) tell me what their experiences are like right now?

A comment someone made yesterday equating needing mental health treatment with being a bad mother really upset me, so just to put it out there: being mentally ill doesn’t make you a bad mother. But getting appropriate treatment sure makes it exponentially easier to be a good one. Askmehow. For anyone who needs it, here’s an incomplete list:

-If everyone around you seems irritating most of the time, you might benefit from professional help. Particularly if you can’t really come up with a reason why they’re irritating, or the reason sounds silly or petty when you say it out loud. Or there’s just a constant repeating rotation of reasons — oh it’s just PMS, I’m just particularly busy today, I have a headache, etc.

-If you find stray stressful thoughts popping up in your head out of context and you can’t easily set them aside, you may benefit from professional help. E.g. in the middle of family dinner you start wondering what the count of new infections is in your area, and you really want to go check right then and have to work very hard to stay in the moment.

-If you wake in the night and have trouble getting back to sleep several times a week, you may benefit from professional help. Particularly if it feels like your thoughts are moving faster than usual in these moments.

-If you find yourself repeatedly imagining scenarios of bad things happening to your loved ones — cancer, car crashes, SIDS, etc. you may benefit from professional help. Even if it feels “logical,” like if you’re imagining your spouse getting cancer just like their parent did.

-If you find the people around you are repeatedly trying to set boundaries with you, and you find this upsetting, you may benefit from professional help. E.g. your partner says things like “can we not talk about that right now? I’m trying to relax,” and this feels like a really terrible blow to your ability to cope or process.

-If you find yourself repeatedly thinking about what your children’s lives would be like without you, particularly if it is framed as “they would be better off without me,” you should seek help as soon as possible.

-If you find yourself imagining worst case scenarios, particularly your children left orphaned, and you think things like, “they would be better off dead than without me,” you should seek help as ssoon as possible.

Would love some guidance on this. I am a psychologist working in a hospital that is a suburb of one of the major cities with the corona outbreak (not a lot in my current city though, but who knows with testing). Currently seeing all my patients via phone/video. I finally got approval to work from home. However, we live in a two bedroom with my husband who is working from home and two small kids and our nanny is there. Any thoughts on how to work from home, from our bedroom with my husband in the same room, also working and on calls, not to mention only having one tiny desk. I have no idea how to see patients and have some privacy? I am also torn with the risk benefit of going to the office. My bldg. is separate from the rest of the hospital and doesn’t get a lot of traffic, and especially now that most people will be working from home. I would only be going outside my office to use the bathroom and potentially microwave, and entering and leaving. Otherwise have a huge office to myself. Would love any thoughts/advice. Leaning towards just buying another desk and seeing patients form my closet, but husband things that’s insane and I should just keep going since I won’t be seeing anyone in my office anyways.

Wisdom needed for a non-covid problem, and one lots of you have probably dealt with – a baby that won’t sleep unless being held. With my first, we’d swaddle, nurse to sleep, put her down in the cosleeper bassinet, and she’d sleep for whatever stretch we’d get (usually around 2 hours, at first). My second was born on Monday, and so far the same routine is not working for us – she wakes up every time we lay her in the cosleeper, no matter how deeply asleep she was, and cries until she’s picked up.

How have others handled this, preferably without turning into a total zombie? I am not interested in bed sharing, and don’t think I could do so safely (laying next to me does not cut it for baby). The last two nights my mom, DH, and I have taken shifts holding her on the couch, which feels unsustainable, especially once my mom is not staying with us every night. Baby is brand new so I’m hoping this resolves on its own as she gets bigger – has anyone else found that to be true? Or is it worth adjusting our approach? Obviously not going to try real sleep training with a newborn, but I am willing to consider any options that might exist (not swaddling? a Snoo?). Or just get some commiseration. Thanks!

Welp. They closed the little park by our house yesterday. My 3 y/o was devastated (understandably). I know it’s for the best but we were getting a lot of mileage out of walking to the park and back 2x per day. And now it’s raining. DH said “this Friday’s starting to feel more like a Monday!” What’s something you’re thankful for? I’m thankful our jobs are being flexible and that I’m getting to watch DS progress in his language development and imagination.

I’ve been on maternity leave for the past five months, going back to work on Monday (from home, fortunately). DD is pretty high needs (very short naps, needs lots of interaction, always wants to be held rather than sitting in a bouncer). DH is also home, but his job is very demanding and not totally set up for WFH yet. He wants to help, but my office is a lot more flexible in general. I’m starting to get anxious about caring for DD while working full time! Our state is on lockdown.

My mom has offered to come help with DD. She was planning to take care of her full time when I went back to work, but she’s currently sheltering in place about three hours from us. She’s in her 60s, in great shape, and maybe not taking social distancing too seriously. I think it’s very likely she’s been exposed at the gym or the grocery store in the last week or so, and I also wouldn’t want to be the reason she has to travel and expose herself to the virus even more.

Should I take her up on her offer? Try to power through for a couple weeks? Argh, I was so excited to get back out in the world!

I’m seeing all these lists of things to do with kids, and I love the idea, but who else feels too exhausted to embark on anything big or different right now? Are my kids the only ones who get a look of horror on their faces when you suggest some of these ideas? Or the activity takes much more effort than it’s worth? Like I really want to be that mom who enriches her kids all the time, but at least one of my kids is completely disinterested. There’s a big age gap and they have a hard time playing together even on a good day. OK, I’m really rambling here, but this shutdown is exacerbating some existing issues in my house … like the fact that my kids have a really hard time entertaining themselves, despite my best efforts over the years. I just feel like a giant failure.

In the Midwest where the shutdown really began this week. DH and I have been home since Tuesday, and kiddo has been with us since Wednesday. After two days of winging it, I finally made a schedule for today and going forward. And it has been genius. But not for the reason you think. My kiddo, who doesn’t really excel at independent play (and that is very much our fault), will do the activity for ten minutes and declare that she’s ready to go play, get up, and leave to go play in her playroom. Repeat every 30 minutes, lol.

Those who have had clogged ducts — how did you know they had cleared? My swelling/pain is way down, and I feel much better in general, but I can still feel an area that is firmer than it should be. Maybe this is just leftover bruising? I think this all started with a bruise. Or am I fooling myself here?

if you haven’t clicked on the link in this post– they also have versions with cutouts for pets. I was looking at potentially getting one for our new playroom, and DD will absolutely LOVE if she and kitty can share a place to sit :)

Ugh just a vent, why are diapers and baby wipes sold out everywhere????