Organizing Thursday: Aluminum Shower Caddy

Reporting to you live from my personal hell that is quarantine with an angry toddler. I told my husband I’m just going to leave my mic on all day and let him scream on all my calls because they denied my FMLA request.

Why is the toddler angry? I wouldn’t let him eat a battery. Among a long list of injustices he’s suffered today, others include being forced to wear a diaper and not allowed to slide headfirst down the stairs.

how is the rest of the hive?

Tips on parenting with a partner struggling with mental health issues?

DH is 3-years sober (yay!) and takes a boatload of depression and anxiety meds. He loves us and is as supportive as he can be, but it’s limited. His meds knock him out and he has a nap or two most days (only possible since he has his own law practice and control over this own schedule). He’s very sensitive to anything that could be construed as criticism – an offhand comment from the 7yo can send him spiraling for hours.

I know, in my head, that getting through a day is just always going to be harder for him than it is for me – I’m proud of the steps he has taken in recovery, and in treating his long-neglected mental health issues with meds and therapy.
But on a practical, day to day level – I am exhausted. I don’t feel like I can ever be off my game, because the family only functions because I contribute 110%. I do cooking, laundry, most daycare and school drop-offs and pickups, grocery shopping, trip planning, medical appointments, bill paying – it’s a constant struggle to keep my head above water. I work fulltime + in a Big Job (though not big pay – director level government job) and there’s not much flexibility to cut back there at all – though I do try to ‘call in sick’ every month or two just to give myself a break.

DH would be mortified to know that I see him in some ways like a third kid – but the walking on eggshells that I do to protect his pride, and to let him feel like an ‘equal’ contributor (when in fact I do 90% of the work) is exhausting. I think this is a just a ‘suck it up’ type situation, but does anyone have tips to make it easier?

I have this caddy and I like it! It’s “chic” in a way I never thought a shower caddy could be in my shower (and I’m already embarrassed that I called my caddy chic, but I feel this strongly about the caddy that I’m going to post this anyway).

My kindergartner got a negative mark on her report card for cooperates and collaborates well with others. I followed up with the teacher about it and she said that my daughter has a tendency to be bossy with other students. Sometimes her words are okay but her tone is mean or bossy and sometimes her words are bossy. There have been a few times when other kids’ feelings have been hurt when my daughter tried to play or help them. I’m feel pretty upset about this. My daughter is very strong willed, opinionated, and relentlessly persistent when she doesn’t get what she wants. Sometimes those qualities are great but other times they can be overwhelming. She’s also very sweet and smart and social.

Any tips for working on this at home? I feel like its really my fault. I definitely can yell or use a harsh tone when I’m frustrated or upset so I know that’s not modeling good behavior. I grew up in a family of yellers and I know how awful it is. I’m really trying to work on it but it definitely still happens sometimes.

Also can I vent for a second that I thought we weren’t using bossy to describe little girls anymore? And this teacher has never said one nice thing about my daughter. I’m feeling like my daughter must be some monster at school that no one likes. I know this is not a big deal in the long run of parenting and I’m sure I will face much worse as my daughter gets older but it still hurts now.

My sweet and sensitive boy turns 11 next week. For those who haven’t followed my story – his father and I are divorced for a multitude of reasons (he was unwilling to do what he could to address his mental illnesses, blaming me for his mental illnesses, an affair, covert abuse, etc.), and they see their Dad every other weekend. I also have a very tense relationship with my own mother. The recent tension is because my grandmother (my deceased father’s mother) is being interred at Arlington National Cemetery in early April. Without checking with me, my mom booked flights for herself, me and my children and a single hotel room. The flights did not work with my work schedule, so after trying to explain this to my mother and getting a hefty dose of guilt/no body loves me/I need my family, last week, I changed the flights and booked a separate hotel room. My mom generally picks my kids up from school on Fridays, but I long ago learned not to rely on that. Last week, my mom went silent and decided to take a day trip on Friday. My mom has not spoken to me in 10 days.

Now to my dilemma/rant, my sweet boy turns 11 next week. I am throwing my son a small family party this year on his actual birthday during the week. I do this for each of my kids on their actual birthdays every single year. My ex is somehow surprised by our son’s birthday and what we have done for him every single year. My mother is not speaking to me. I have reached out to both. I am sincerely hoping that these two other people in my son’s life will get it together and show up for him. I think that my mom will show up but just not acknowledge me. My ex will be there for a few minutes. I am just so tired of being the adult and watching my kids try and understand the adults who are inconsistent in their lives.

Daycare just sent an email re: valentine’s day that included “Homemade is better than store bought.” There are 28 kids in her class.

BRB WHILE I SCREAM

And no, obviously I’m not making 28 homemade valentines with a 3-year-old.