Budget Thursday: Achieve Greatness Convertible Backpack

How do you deal with having “nothing left” at the end of the day for your kids after a draining day at work? I’ll admit, some nights I let them sit with their Kindle Fires for the entire evening, even during dinner, and then I can sit and read or just relax rather than constantly brokering fights or fielding requests for additional snacks/attention.

But how important is it to be “engaged” with your kids in the evenings? I remember watching a ton of TV as a kid, and do not ever remember my mom playing or coloring with me. Sometimes I tell myself, I’m an adult, they’re children, our activities in life are different.

The guilt comes in when I think, maybe if I didn’t work and just stayed home, I could do my relaxing while they are at school and then be fully engaged with them once they come home. But then as a counterpoint I think, I’m sure SAHMs aren’t some perpetual Mary Poppins, creating fun games and teaching valuable life skills in every moment of interaction. If I were to stay home, I’d be giving up a huge salary and satisfying career, for something that may not even materialize, or even if it did, my kids (and me) might not be significantly better off. Obviously, ladies on this board generally choose to work — what are your thoughts on the same question, specifically of whether you feel guilty about working because it drains all your energy/focus?

I realize they are still young, but I’m not entirely sure how to handle this. I have 1 year old twins who are home with a nanny. Twin A is constantly taking toys from twin B. Sometimes twin B will try to take it back, other times twin B will sit and start to fuss a bit and other times twin B will do nothing. I’ve read Happiest Toddler on the Block, which seems to suggest that I should tell Twin A that I understand she is mad and wants to play with that toy right now but then redirect her to something else. I’ve also read Siblings Without Rivalry, which suggests that you don’t give attention to the aggressor, but instead to the victim. I realize they are only 1…but I do not want Twin A to think she can just take other people’s toys and I want twin B to learn to stick up for herself. I also don’t want to spend the next 18 years as a constant referee. I recently finished reading Siblings Without Rivalry and it literally broke my heart that there was an adult twin who hated his twin brother because he always picked on him and the parents never intervened. I know that most people on this board don’t have twins, but if you every have playdates you must run into this situation?

I have twins and I hate to break it to you but you will have at least 5 more years of acting as a relatively constant referee. The Tao of Daniel Tiger has a line my 4 year olds repeat a lot to each other “before you take something away, stop and ask if it’s okay’. But they are 4 and they still try to grab each other’s stuff sometimes. 1 year olds just need a constant level of supervision to teach them how to share. You’ll get there but there are a lot of referee years ahead yet.

NYC Wisehive – Traveling to NY next weekend with DS (18 months). We are staying in an apartment rental in Midtown East. DH and I both used to live in NY, so are not looking for any sightseeing…but this is our first time back with kiddo. If there’s no rain, we’re hoping to keep it a park/walk around/eat type of weekend, hopefully hitting some of our favorite spots.

All that being said, would love any “toddler friendly” recommendations in Manhattan — restaurants that y’all enjoy, any specific park recommendations (will probably end up in Sheep’s Meadow because of nostalgia), etc. We are not bringing car seat so will walk and public transit everywhere.

TIA!

Father’s Day gift/activity ideas? DH swears he doesn’t want or need anything, but I know he’d be disappointed if I didn’t acknowledge the day at all. We have one 18-month old who’s just starting to get into coloring, so I’m going to try to have her make him a card, but that’s about all I’ve got.

piggybacking off the minivan thread above-
Does anyone have thoughts on their experience with three kids and *not* having a minivan? We are also expecting a third and my car (2003 Subaru Legacy Wagon) is on its last legs. I do a lot of city commuting (DC), my parking lot at work is the size of a postage stamp – in my ideal world I would get a Prius. Is this a crazy idea? We would be looking at two forward facing seats and an infant seat in the back (technically the oldest can be in a backless booster, but I feel like with three kids in the back, it will be easier for her to buckle herself in with a five point booster).
My husband will probably replace his car (Subaru Impreza) in 2 or three years with a minivan or a third row SUV, and we have an Escape that we inherited that we use for road trips. Usually when we go out as a family he will drive. I don’t want to be short sighted about my choice of car, but I also don’t want to drive more car than I can handle.
Would love to hear how people deal with three in the back in a non-mini van situation – type of car, car seats, and tips/tricks or frustrations? Thanks for your thoughts!

Another post about the tradeoffs that go with having careers and kids … I’m just feeling so bummed. Two spots are open in my field, in an organization I’ve been really interested in. This happens almost never. The catch? The commute is simply unworkable, if I ever want to pick up or drop off my kids from school, or take them to activities — which I do. Say I applied and got either job, literally all of that would all fall to DH. If he had a late meeting or something, we’d be screwed. More notably, I would be on the road for a minimum of 2 hours a day, which would absolutely affect our quality of life. (Most people who do this commute don’t last for more than a few years because it’s so unpleasant, especially in the winter.) For various reasons, relocating to this city is a nonstarter. I’ve been completely miserable in my job for 2 years now, and I seriously want to cry that the right opportunity is finally presenting itself, but it’s in the wrong place.

Is it even worth applying and hoping that if I get it, they love me so much that I could work remotely a few days a week? Or is that just wasting everyone’s time? Because I am not up for a huge commute 5 days a week, no job is worth that to me.