This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I usually shy away from patterns, but this dress is a jolt my wardrobe needs right now.
This midi shirtdress from Boden features a bold, yet versatile, black-and-white floral pattern. It has a tie belt you can sport at the office Monday through Friday and remove for a more relaxed look Saturday and Sunday.
The lightweight fabric is perfect for the sweltering outdoors, while the long sleeves keep air conditioning at bay. The greatest thing is that all the fabric, including the lining, is made from recycled materials.
The Abigail Midi Shirtdress is $150 and available in sizes 2 through 20/22, petite (2 through 12 only), regular, and long. If you’re feeling really bold, it also comes in “Ivory, Paintbox Ditsy,” a bright rainbow floral pattern.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
i know the other day we talked about major tantrums post K, but my 3 year old twins just started preschool last week and to say they are a hot mess is an understatement. they are only going for 3.5 hours a day and we put them down for a nap when they get home, but they seem to have given up sleeping during that nap. they often ask me to eat dinner at 4pm and want to go to bed at like 5:30pm. i want them to sleep through the night, so we’ve been doing dinner at 5 and they are in bed by 6:15/6:30, but they are still SO tired. i also do a lot of solo parenting in the evenings, so while all the recs for the family the other day involved giving the kindergartener some 1:1 time, that is really hard to do when you are alone and one kid is having a meltdown and the other needs help going potty. any tips or tricks or ideas?
anon says
I wouldn’t hold back on the 5:30 bedtime. It may help them catch up on sleep.
Shortperson says
If they won’t nap I would let them zone out in front of the tv for an hour. And just know it will get better soon. Their bodies will adjust.
Also this dress is cute! Just bought it.
TheElms says
Based on what friends with older kids have told me — are they possibly hungry when they get home and that might explain why they aren’t sleeping? If they eat at school do you have a sense of how much they are eating? Maybe they just need a snack for the trip home like a cheese stick or yogurt squueze (for fat and protein and to help them feel full) and crackers? I would make 4pm after they “wake up” a big snack and then do dinner at 5:30 (of which they may eat very little) and bed at 6:30pm. Good luck!
anon says
Not sure this is feasible for you, but can they stay at preschool for their naps? My 3.5yo doesn’t nap at home anymore, but will at school. Then you could still pick them up after nap, but they aren’t napping too close to bed time.
Anonymous says
I made copious use of my toddler tula for those times. Put one kid on my back with a straw sippy cup pretty much as soon as we got in the door. Sometimes even 5 minutes up was enough. Snack as soon as they got picked up at 5pm, then dinner at 6pm, fruit for dessert at 7pm and in bed at 7:30pm and that was with them having an afternoon nap.
Alternatively, there was a lot of vegging on the sofa to daniel tiger while I cooked a simple dinner. Early bedtime FTW. It will get better. My biggest twin tip is to verbally engage with one if you are physically engaged with the other. Like hugging one kid while asking the other what their favorite thing was at preschool.
ifiknew says
It took my daughter months to adjust to not napping, like maybe 3 months. I think that’s worse than usual, but someone told me on here that it can take awhile and that was very true in my experience. She was a hot mess most days and it was some of our most trying times since she was born. I’d say she’s finally got a good groove now and is not tired / melting down in the afternoons/evening. She sleeps about 12 hours at night (7:15-6:45 to 7 am). it took her a long time to learn to sleep these 12 hours, as she was previously at about 10.5 with the nap.
I’d also really try to get them to nap on the weekends. I don’t know if that makes it worse, but I found that having two catch up days helped a bit as we eased into this transition.
Mommasgottasleep says
If they can’t nap at school, I’d give them a snack in the car on the way home (mine likes apple slices) and let them zone in front of the tv for 20 minutes.
anon says
This. Our daycare always had a bowl of crackers at the front desk, and it was very important!
AwayEmily says
+1 to a zone-out period. Before I leave to pick the kids up in the afternoon I take a minute to set out a couple of books that we haven’t read for awhile, plus a bowl of goldfish or snap peas or something. Then when we get home I read to them for 15 minutes while they snuggle and relax and eat a snack. Now my older sometimes opts to listen to an audiobook in her room instead.
Anon says
last year on this board people were complaining that society was prioritizing things like restaurants over getting kids back into school, which i agreed with, but honestly, a lot of parents are also now to blame if schools end up shutting down/quarantining. stop saying that your family is ‘prioritizing school,’ but then insisting that you must gather indoors with 30 people to celebrate your nephew’s bday and all of those people are being ‘safe’, or that your 5 year old needs a manicure before her first day of school or your kid must do some unmasked indoor activity or your family has to go to disney world the week before school starts, etc. last night i attended a zoom meeting for my kids’ school about covid and they acknowledged that one of the main reasons they succeeded in not having to close down due to covid was the behavior of the community and suggested that if you want to keep your kids in school, go back to your behavior in fall 2020
Anonymous says
To add: keep your sick kids home and get them tested for COVID. Buy a rapid test now and keep it on hand.
Our school is going weekly pool testing, as well as rapid testing anyone deemed a close contact to a positive case. Asymptomatic negatives are allowed to stay in school. Symptomatic negatives need a PCR test and positives are quarantined.
TheElms says
Where can you buy rapid tests to keep for at home use? I’ve never seen them and didn’t know they were a thing (must be living under a rock I’m sure). Thanks!
Anon says
Oh not the original poster we stocked up at our local CVS and I just ordered more from the local grocery store in my instacart order! Have successfully used the Binax multiple times. Binax are 2 tests for $24 – well worth it to me!
Meh says
Walgreens has them and so does CVS. They are not cheap but super easy.
Anonymous says
Just be careful with them. They are not as accurate as PCR tests and shouldn’t be trusted to the same degree.
Redux says
Right, rapid tests are only useful if you have symptoms. Otherwise they have a high rate of false negatives.
Anonymous says
That’s not necessarily true – it depends on the test. But what matters is the sensitivity and specificity. Can the tests track true negatives and true positives with a high degree of accuracy? Only some can.
IHeartBacon says
I just saw the Binax ones at CVS last night, but I hadn’t heard of them before so I didn’t want to buy them until I had a chance to research whether they were valid. They are. See: https://www.fda.gov/media/147254/download and https://www.cvs.com/shop/abbott-binaxnow-covid-19-antigen-self-test-2-tests-for-serial-testing-prodid-550147
I’m going to stop by this morning and pick up a bunch of them just to have them on hand.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I have mixed feelings about going back to 2020 lifestyle 100%. I don’t think it’s sustainable for mental health reasons (at least for my family…as I’ve mentioned before 2020 almost broke us on multiple levels), and I do think there are things folks can do to have some normalcy while mitigating risk and/or not taking their unable-to-be-vaxxed children.
I do agree the things you listed are definitely not in the “able to do while mitigating risk” category, except for the manicure. Now why a 5 year old “needs” a manicure is a whole other conversation…
OP says
not trying to judge your family, but perhaps there are safer alternatives to some of the things that really impacted your mental health. like socializing outdoors. a manicure at a salon that does not require masks for all patrons or employees is risky. at least for me, my mental health will be significantly worse if my kids aren’t in school and i have no childcare
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Sounds like you found a good balance for yourself. I never mentioned that I was okay going into an unmasked salon; kindly ask that you don’t assume what my risk tolerance is or what I personally think is okay.
Anonymous says
But you just argued that you couldn’t go back to 2020 without specifying WHAT your risk tolerance was. The nail thing was in OPs original comment. If you weren’t cool with that, why didn’t you say so.
You sound like you’re defensive because you know you’re wrong, but whatever.
Anon says
I’m with you. It did break me. I’m just now starting to feel like I am starting to put some of the broken pieces back together and it is an uphill battle. We will not be going back to 2020 unless and until there is another government mandated shut everything down order and even then it will still probably not look like 2020 because we are vaccinated and know so much more now. I am now of the view that Covid is here to stay and eventually will likely become endemic like the flu, probably with annual boosters unless it mutates itself out of any meaningful severity. All of the high risk (and really all adult, high risk or not) people in our life are vaccinated. Our percent positive testing rate in our community is around 5% and close to 80% of adults in our community are vaccinated. The serious risks to small children are exceptionally low (not zero, but very low, even with Delta). So we are not going back to 2020 and we are going to live a risk-balanced life in 2021. It means we eat outdoors at restaurants with my child (but not no restaurants, like 2020). It means I have a housekeeper (as opposed to 6+ hours cleaning my house and doing laundry every single weekend, like 2020). It means I go to the fully vaccinated office and have adult interactions (as opposed to literally seeing no one in person other than our family for a year). It means I see fully vaccinated friends and meet new babies and celebrate life and let our kids play together (as opposed to my kid literally having no playdates for 13 months, like 2020). We are not having large indoor parties, but we are having small indoor parties (again with fully vaxxed adults) and plenty of outdoor celebrations.
Anon says
within the past week, one of my vaccinated colleagues and her husband got a bad case of covid, and another colleague’s vaccinated husband got covid and went to the hospital to get one of the treatments. a fully vaccinated unmasked office is better than an unvaccinated office, but it is not the protection we thought it provided two months ago. there is also a big difference between having zero playdates vs. having only outdoor playdates and indoor masked playdates. i totally agree that this is endemic and once all of our kids can be vaccinated it will make a huge difference.
Anonymous says
Right there with you. All these people who claim they and their kids “need” to do unmasked in-person activities for their “mental health” can go eff themselves. You know what’s really bad for your kid’s mental health? Constantly having to quarantine and try to keep up with school over Zoom because they are repeatedly exposed to COVID. You know what’s really bad for a parent’s mental health? Having the kids home all the time while also working from home with a spouse working from home.
We are still doing some indoor activities, with 100% vaccination for people over 12 and masks for all. We are ready to pull the plug on those too if things get much worse. We’ve already shut down unmasked indoor family gatherings.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Whoa! Not sure if this was meant for me, but when I say we need to do things for mental health I mean — meeting outdoors, masking up as needed, avoiding crowds (e.g. I don’t take my kids on errands whenever possible), testing/masking up at home after any air travel (DH has work travel on/off through Sept-Oct), etc. I’m just saying we don’t need to stay home 100% of the time, which was what my family essentially did all of 2020 for a myriad of reasons that I won’t go into.
Anonymous says
No, I’m talking about the people described in the OP who are having indoor birthday parties.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Thanks…nothing like taking things personally on an anon board…facepalm at myself!
ElisaR says
i didn’t interpret that comment as aimed at more sleep
Meh says
I don’t have the energy to play this game anymore. I can’t control what others do and being constantly furious about others’ choices is too exhausting and gets me nowhere.
Anonymous says
Well, goodie for you that others’ behavior doesn’t have an impact on you.
Meh says
Interesting comment given that I’m writing this with a quarantined baby (who never goes anywhere other than daycare.) Of course others’ behavior affects me. But I just don’t have the emotional energy to sit around and be outraged constantly anymore.
Anon says
+1 and I’m in the exact same situation as you right now, Meh. Being constantly angry at others hasn’t been good for me, and it doesn’t do anything to improve my situation. I have to focus on what I can control right now.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Girl, I’m right here with you. I can do all the things (vaxx, mask, avoid crowds, not take our kids places) but I am so tired of others egregious behavior that I don’t have the bandwidth to get annoyed anymore. FWIW, I hired a sitter this weekend to watch our kids while we go to a family event (where all adults are vaxxed), because I know it’s safer for them.
anon says
This. Other people’s behavior absolutely DOES affect me. However, I cannot change how others behave, and it’s exhausting to be mad all the time.
anon says
I think a lot of this is regional. I don’t know anyone who is doing any of those things right now. People aren’t eating indoors. People aren’t going to Disney. People aren’t attending big indoor gatherings. We are doing more than 2020–back then kids weren’t even having outdoor playdates and schools didn’t open until rates were very low last spring, teachers were vaccinated, and even then at reduced numbers of students with air filters, masks, and for only 2 days a week.
Our kids have some outdoor sports this fall. I’m having a few kids over for an outdoor birthday in September, when last year she didn’t have a party. We can’t stay in seclusion indefinitely so we’re trying to make smart decisions.
Anon says
Or it depends on social circles. I’m in Houston, so we’d be considered a risky area I guess, and I don’t know people doing those things now. We do have outdoor sports and all three of my kids schools are requiring masks (including for the two year old). For the person considering going to wedding, who’s the crowd? Is sister in law a doctor? That would maybe change my approach (I’d say husband goes regardless, and I wouldn’t drive the kids either way)
Spirograph says
“insisting that you must gather indoors with 30 people to celebrate your nephew’s bday and all of those people are being ‘safe’, or that your 5 year old needs a manicure before her first day of school or your kid must do some unmasked indoor activity or your family has to go to disney world the week before school starts, etc.”
Are people doing this? I mean, I’m sure it’s happening or you wouldn’t have mentioned it, but this is so far outside of what I’ve heard *anyone* in my community talking about that it borders on ridiculous. Granted, MoCo is a world of political and cultural difference than FL and TX, but it just boggles the mind.
Personally, I’m done policing anyone else’s choices or caring what anyone else thinks about mine (which will continue to be in line with all applicable CDC and gov guidance, but certainly are less conservative than many). The answer to all of this is vaccines and masks. If I’m going to spend my energy getting mad at something, it’s going to be the macro policy decisions and messaging that allow/encourage people to make bad choices around those, NOT the individuals who just want to live their lives to the fullest within the parameters given to them.
Anon says
Not doing this in TX where I am! And likely no one on this board! I think someone is just kind of feeling like a bully today.
Anon4This says
Fellow Texan and same. We have an idiot governor, but in the big cities, local leadership is doing whatever they can to protect folks and implement good public health measures. I’m tired of this getting little to no coverage in the media because the better story is that everyone here is an anti-masker/anti-vaxxer. Also my county has had a surge in vaccinations, so in theory our fully vaxxed rate should be pretty high soon; I’m hoping it’ll hit 75-80%.
FWIW – some food for thought for this board – I lived in the DC-Area for 7 years and had endless microaggressions thrown my way, which has never been the case where we live now, so liberal can mean many things in different places.
Spirograph says
Fair point, I should not have painted Texans or Floridans with a broad brush, sorry for that! I have vaccine-refusing extended family in both states, but also friends in a big cities who give me more context than was reflected in my comment. You’re right, though, the national level news coverage is very one sided and focuses on the state-level government, ignoring the local Not All Texans angle.
OP says
i’m the OP and i’m located in TX. I saw on instagram one person take their kiddo with their mask half on to get a manicure before school started, another person had an indoor gathering resulting in an entire class at my kids’ preschool closing after the first day. I know someone who lives in NYC who is currently in Disneyland. another close friend of mine who lives elsewhere is going on family vacation to Miami next week and her kids start school the following week. another friend who lives in the northeast has her nephew, BIL and SIL staying at her house and the nephew just woke up with a fever. she is a doctor and has 3 kids, including a newborn and considers herself to be very cautious. they just went for a covid test and if it is positive, her kiddos will miss their first week of school. i’m truly not trying to be a bully. i just want everyone to be healthy and be in school!
OP says
i should add i am located in TX in a blue city.
Anonymous says
Red county in a blue state near you. These things are definitely happening where I live. Our school district insisted that it *had* to offer unmasked indoor sports, including wrestling, during the January surge. Now that vaccines are widely available for ages 12+, nobody wants to go back to masking even with Delta causing tons of breakthrough infections. People have just decided that they are done being careful and have accepted that all kids under 12, along with many vaccinated adults and teens, are going to catch COVID within the next few months.
Anonymous says
Yup. The plan is clearly herd immunity for the kids with no rush on a vaccine anytime soon.
AnonNoVa says
People are doing more than you might think. I live in Northern Va, and have seen people take unmasked children inside fast-casual restaurants (I was picking up takeout so don’t know if they dined in or got takeout, but they were in line for at least 15 minutes). I had to cancel a camp for my kid at the last minute because they decided not to require masks indoors. And among my friends indoor unmasked socializing among fully vaccinated adults seems to still be a thing. Local indoor swim classes have been sold out throughout the summer and early fall, and those are by definition unmasked. I have seen Disneyworld pix on facebook (pre=Delta Variant) from some acquaintances. And on some other sites I frequent posters repeatedly comment that COVID is no big deal for kids and that they do not believe in masking kids (some may be trolls but there are so many posts like this that I doubt they are all trolls). Not to mention my relatives in the midwest who have had large indoor social gatherings and done a lot of traveling. So it would not at all surprise me that people are having parties and doing some of the other things described in the post.
I, too, no longer have the energy to be outraged about this (or about anti-vaxxers). But yes, people are doing A LOT>
fallen625 says
It’s probably too early to stress about this, but my sister in law is getting married in the south this October (the state currently has 6x as much covid as our state… we live in the NE in a town where like 80% is vaccinated). We really feel like we should go (but if we are being completely honest I don’t really want to, i am odd in the sense that I find weddings more of an obligation than fun/anything else). Wedding is at a barn, the reception is outdoors, wedding indoors with doors open. 75 people. We have two unvaccinated children. What should we do? I was thinking that we could all drive there (12 hours; fun times – one of my kids just turned 3), just do the outdoor part and then do the indoor part ourselves and leave the kids with a sitter? Or not even do the reception but just the outdoor part for all of us? Or I could send my husband alone (honestly I would prefer this but I am afraid this is gonna cause a lot of drama)?
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My recommendation – if possible – leave the kids behind, mask up during the indoor portion.
Also, as someone who looks at a lot of data for work…comparing state data vs. town data isn’t great – I’d look at the city/county data a few weeks before your trip.
Anon says
^^ This. Even knowing more about the vaccination status of people at the wedding would be helpful. I am in the SEUS, and we still feel comfortable going to smaller social events and to work unmasked when we know everyone is vaccinated. We wear masks indoors at the grocery store, etc. and stopped eating indoors. That being said, I am still not sure I would bring DS to a wedding right now, even if I felt comfortable going. Children attract a lot of attention at weddings, and you cannot control who all is talking to them… which would make me really uncomfortable right now.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
YUP. We’re going to a wedding in a few weeks – flying, no kids – the couple is mandating vaxxes for all attendees. Literally asked guests to change their RSVP if not vaxxed (and non-vaxxers aren’t the type to go quietly). I plan to KN-95 the whole time.
Nonnymouse says
I understand the need to avoid drama but your husband should go and he should explain that as the kids are unvaccinated you need to follow their school/daycare guidelines on travel/quarantine and cannot miss work due to the extended need to quarantine. Stretch the truth if you need to. I would not make that drive with young kids in school in the best of times! Besides, weddings are a lot to deal with young kids. Your husband can have some fun and support his sister and give you a break a few weeks later.
Anonymous says
This. DH goes. Masks as much as possible and quarantines from you and kids for 3-5 days when he gets back until he can get tested on day 3/4 or 5.
Anon says
Agree. This is what we did. DH went and quarantined in the basement when he got back and wore masks on the upper levels and hung out outdoors. He tested 4 and 6 days after exposure.
Anonymous says
Why on earth “should” you go? This gathering shouldn’t even be happening, and you and your husband shouldn’t be supporting it in any way.
Anonymous says
+1. It baffles me why anyone feels like they “should” go to events like this right now. The only thing that “should” happen is a full event cancellation. If you don’t go, they can be mad – doesn’t have to affect you! They’re adults and can manage their own emotions.
Anonymous says
Things are going to be much worse in the south by October than they already are. Kids will all be back in school within the next two weeks, either with no masks or with no enforcement of masking policies. Classrooms will be more crowded because states and school districts are pushing to get all kids back in classrooms. All of this plus the fact that Delta is much more transmissible means that COVID is going to tear through schools in a way it didn’t last year. Then all of those kids are going to give it to their parents.
Anonymous says
Do not go. Definitely do not take the kids. The way family gatherings work is that you and your spouse go in with clear boundaries, like we are only going to the outdoor part of the event. Then it rains or the grandparents demand to take the kids inside or everyone wants to go out for brunch the next day and either your husband says “come on, we have to, they’ll be offended if we don’t” and you get pushed into doing something unsafe, or your husband agrees that you’re going to stand your ground and say no and the extended family gets their knickers in a knot. There is going to be drama no matter what you do. Best to just get it over with up front by saying “no” to the whole thing.
fallen625 says
So true. The silver lining of COVID has been not dealing with family. Forget what that’s all like.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This is a very good point.
Anonymous says
+1. I went to a micro-wedding last year with the full knowledge that the “we’re all going to be wearing masks!” and “distancing will be easy!” would not actually be happening. I got there, there was 50% mask-wearing, distancing was poor, and I was so, so glad I had factored that into my risk calculus. I stayed 30 minutes for the outdoor ceremony while wearing an N95, got in the car, and went home. Are you going to be able to do that with a husband and kids? Doubt it.
Anon says
Think about how the hospitals are doing. I’m in the SEUS, and full hospitals are having a ton of domino effects right now (and pediatrics is struggling the most).
Anonymous says
This. Biggest risk in traveling with kids is not that they get sick and need to be hospitalized when you get back, it’s if they get sick and need to be hospitalized when you are there. Then you are stuck with a kid in hospital many miles away from your home city.
Anon says
“(but if we are being completely honest I don’t really want to, i am odd in the sense that I find weddings more of an obligation than fun/anything else)”
Life tip: people know when you’re using COVID as an excuse for something you didn’t want to do anyway. People had a hard time coming to my 2019 wedding because it was in a different state, and I appreciated people’s honesty in telling me why they couldn’t make it. I’m never one to say that just because something is theoretically possible with monumental effort, it’s “doable;” maybe that helps? But when people said – it’s hard with kids, my brother is getting married the next weekend, I’m on family vacation, I have a murder trial the day before – it’s like, life happens, and it means a lot that they even looked into the logistics.
Just… explain to your SIL that it’s hard to drive 12 hours each way with young kids during the school year – it’s not like you can make a vacation out of it. Don’t blame COVID when it’s not a COVID issue; that causes more hurt feelings.
Anonymous says
Wow that’s ignorant. It’s completely a covid issue. She has young, unvaccinated children. The pandemic isn’t over for kids. The SIL should be embarrassed for asking the kids to come.
Signed,
Transatlantic wedding between two people who lived in 4 different cities before meeting each other. And still managed to have empathy for people who didn’t want to travel for our wedding because we realize we are not the center of their lives.
Anonymous says
It is not “ignorant,” and do not use such language. The OP said herself – READ IT – that she’s not enthused about going to the wedding anyway because she doesn’t like weddings. So stop blaming COVID and own it.
fallen625 says
Yes – I am not dying to go. But COVID aside, I would 1000% go without any hesitation because I care about my SIL (and my husband) and want to support her even though to me the hassle isn’t worth the fun. But with COVID the risk calculus plays a big part in my decision.
Anon says
I would agree with this. I had some out-of-state cousins bail on my wedding due to a work conflict, which was understandable, but then I remember seeing them on social media on a weekend trip the same time as my wedding, which offended me at the time. We are planning on attending a local wedding w/o DS in the next few weeks but are likely not attending a wedding that would involve a 12-hour drive each way with DS and plan on explaining that to the couple. We do not feel comfortable flying with DS or staying at a resort with him and just can’t make it work right now. (Wedding involving travel is a family wedding, so no family available to stay with DS if we went without him.) If the wedding didn’t involve that much travel, we would be attending.
anon says
There’s no way you and the children should go. It’s not worth the risk. As for your husband, he should think really carefully about all the risks and benefits.
My remaining living family in a perpetual Covid hot zone. It sucks so, so much not to be able to see them and celebrate life events. For me, my children’s health and my ability to care for them hang in the balance and NO ONE’s feelings or life event is more important than my kids.
I can’t take the increased risk of bringing Covid home to my children who are too young to be vaccinated, nor risk passing it on to their classmates and teachers and their families (or even just closing down the daycare classroom and leaving parents without childcare for two weeks if my child tests positive). Hospitals are full where my family lives–I can’t risk getting inadequate care in the event I need hospitalization (car accident, heart attack, etc.) and not making it back healthy for my kids.
Dear+Summer says
Don’t go. You don’t want to go and leaving kids behind is the only reasonable option. Do you really want to figure out overnight childcare to go to something you’d rather skip? With 75 people in attendance, and it being n the south, someone WILL catch Covid there. Also, it’s a large enough event that you won’t really be missed.
teething recommendations for older kid says
Is oragel recommended these days? I have a teething 2 year old and I always forget (she’s getting her molars). For the older two we just alternated tylenol and motrin but she seems more bothered. TIA!
Anon says
Nope. Can cause breathing issues I believe. We did motrin and tylenol and chewing on a formerly damp then frozen washcloth. For a two year old can you do popsicles? We ignored my parents’ advice to rub whiskey on the gums because that’s what they did and we turned out fine.
Anon says
hahaha POPSICLES. Great idea!
AnonATL says
My mom gives me that advice all the time.. No thanks ma, we will stick with tylenol and frozen food.
SC says
I don’t think it is, but my son was particularly bothered by teething. His teeth grew in early and quickly. My FIL, who is a doctor in a pediatric specialty, cornered our pediatrician at a party and asked him whether Oragel would be OK just once a day. Our pediatrician said yes. We used it once a day after that.
Anon says
Ah keeping this in my back pocket. Thanks!
I think we’re actually having the problem that these teeth are growing in a bit late. So she is not happy and very much able to communicate this to us! And we are sleepy.
anon says
All the COVID discussion above makes me wonder if I should cancel aftercare right now? The bus + whole new group of people makes me nervous.
Anonymous says
We did after care for most of elementary until Fall 2020. We switched DH taking kids on Mondays, I had them on Fridays and my parents had them Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday. We’re the only family in the city so it was some risk to my parents but the school was very good about keeping classes separate and their class only had 20 kids so it felt less risky that aftercare with kids from all different grades plus 3 different counsellors. Kids were basically my parents only community exposure and I think the time with the kids was good for their mental health and gave them an ‘out’ for declining invites from riskier friends “We’d love to come but we have the grandkids next week and mean daughter is sooo strict’. A hilarious reversal of my teenage years when I blamed my allegedly strict parents for not allowing me to go to parties that I worried would be shady.
In theory DH and I had ‘work early, off early’ arrangements for our days but there was often a lack of respect for that and tons of tv. If my parents couldn’t do it, our plan was to hired a high schooler to watch them on those days. High school was online even after elementary went back in our area.
So Anon says
I initially was going to send my kids on the bus. The bus is so much easier for us. However, I’ve decided that driving is one thing I can do to reduce exposure to a whole bunch of different kids across multiple grades. Last year, they limited bus capacity to 35-50%, and this year it is back to full capacity, even if they are masked.
Anon says
Thanks! Their aftercare “group” is the same kids in their school from the bus. Apparently there are only 5-6 kids from her school because our entire town is SAHM or nanny.
anon says
Same here. Driving is annoying, but seems worth it to us to minimize the exposure risk (partly because we don’t want to have to quarantine the kids more than necessary and adding the bus on top of their classrooms is just another potential pool).
Anon says
Worry about RSV, which is completely out of control.
Anonymous says
What? Why? RSV is a completely normal childhood virus that probably 99% of people catch in their lifetime. It’s just raging right now because of a year of kids being isolated. It causes complications in some kids yes, but not most. Like way less than COVID.
Anon says
A lot of hospitals weren’t prepared for the spike because it’s off season, so more and more kids are winding up in the hospital at the same time, and if you’ve got babes under 1 it can go bad quickly, with less access to care due to the overwhelm of cases. I’m less worried about Covid right now because I’m in a high vaxx area, but RSV is absolutely packing the peds units near me, and being under 1 it could be rough so trying to avoid it.
Anonymous says
Yeh but telling people to worry about something that’s very common (almost unavoidable) is straight up fear mongering.
Anonymous says
A lot of people who say “worry about RSV” are COVID deniers. It’s some weird form of whataboutism.
oil in houston says
I really really wanted my daughter to do after school care and resume ballet… covid is really bad here, so we deciced not to… maybe January if she can get vaccinated by then/ things get better?
GCA says
Lots of things are going to factor into your decision. How big is the aftercare group? How long is the aftercare duration each day? Are you in a place where weather will coop them up indoors throughout winter, or are there lots of outside activities? What is your work like – do you have the flexibility and ability to work with kid/s at home? Do you have an older kid who can read, fix themselves a snack etc or a younger kid who needs more hands-on supervision?
I can share about ours: K kid was in aftercare from 11 to 5, indoors in winter with occasional outdoor activities, masked and in a ‘pod’ of about 10 kids, some of whom were from other classes or the other half of his class. It was at his school, no busing needed. It was a little anxiety-inducing but they had only one quarantine all year and it was due to an adult staffer testing positive before vaccines were widely available. We are sending him back to the same program this year, but this year due to ft school schedules it will be from 2 to 5. (I think this is what ‘prioritizing school’ – and balancing it with our work and sanity – actually looks like for us and probably many others on this board. School and childcare are needs, not wants!)
AwayEmily says
Agreed, it depends on what you can make work and what the alternatives are. We managed to find an after-school babysitter for our K kid for three days a week, my mom is watching her on an additional day, and my partner and I are alternating the fifth. Also, our district’s safety protocols for their after-school program are not ideal (not entirely their fault, they’re just an understaffed, underfunded city school doing the best with limited resources). BUT if we hadn’t found the babysitter or my mom wasn’t available….well, we probably would have done the program regardless.
anon says
What works for your family? And what are the protocols like?
If cancelling aftercare is going to be stressful/difficult and the protocols are good, I wouldn’t cancel.
We have access to an aftercare with great protocols, but I’m in a spot work wise where it’s easy peasy to skip aftercare for awhile. So, my kid is missing aftercare for now. If I was busier, I would totally send my kid to aftercare, though.
Anonymous says
How long after weaning completely can I go get measured for new bras? And how many should I get, knowing that we’re trying for #2 and I hope to pregnant soon?
Anonymous says
If you are trying and think you will be pregnant soon, I wouldn’t bother. If your nursing bras are sad and tired I’d just buy a week’s worth of nice new ones. Or some other stretchy non-underwire thing even if it isn’t a nursing bra. I had to wear nursing bras during pregnancy because real bras were not comfortable and I changed size too often.
Anon says
I would give it a month. And then the number you would get if you weren’t trying to get pregnant (for me that is usually 3-4 given my laundry habits).
Signed,
Now 3+ years into TTC number 2 and I really wish I had not spent a year of that in ill-fitting bras (and clothes) because “it will be quick, it was so easy last time”.
govtattymom says
Is anyone else immunocompromised due to a serious health condition (or spouse or child is immunocompromised)? I am, and the doctors are unsure whether I am protected by the vaccine (even after the third shot). I feel very alone as I don’t personally know anyone else who is immunocompromised. Was hoping for some tips re how to handle the isolation and how to strike a balance so the kiddos aren’t miserable.
Anonymous says
Yes, in the same boat. It is definitely isolating. I have had to deal with a lot of “but we’ll be outside” or “but we’ll wear masks” and other largely well-intentioned comments. People find it hard to believe that I HAVE to be more cautious than they are. They don’t get it, they’re not interested in learning more (they NEVER ask questions or ask how I’m doing with all this), and they don’t want to believe that some of us have to stay so locked down. Thank god my husband is the best (truly the very best) and has made it so easy (and sometimes even fun) for us to both stay home.
The only balance I can find is doing things outside in remote areas. Think camping, but not at the most crowded state park (and bringing ALL your own food). Think biking, but only in the early hours (and with a mask on your chin at the ready to be pulled up). Your kids can join some of these things and they can adapt and enjoy the indoor tasks as well. Do you remember that NYT article last Thanksgiving about how treating holidays like an improv routine can help bring back the joy during these troubled times? I found that SO helpful for living in this pandemic.
Anon says
I think there are varying levels of immunocompromised, so YMMV. My mother is on a TNF blocker for an autoimmune disease (and also just finished up some radiation for recurring cancer). I start one today. Her doctor ran an antibody test to see if she had a decent response to her vaccines. The test came back high enough that he was comfortable not recommending a third shot. My doctor said the TNF blocker going forward (since I was vaccinated without it) is not so immunosuppressive that I need to be taking anything other than the usual reasonable precautions. I’m sorry you’re in that position though. My mom did the full covid-style-lockdown thing for a good two years through various cancer treatments back in 2017 and it is so, so hard and isolating, particularly when the rest of world is carrying on as normal.
Anonymous says
Interesting, my husband is on an IL blocker and his doctors haven’t said anything about it! I think possibly because he is on something very specific. He is on methotrexate, too, though.
Anon says
i am not, but my heart breaks for you and i’m sure reading all of the commentary above is very frustrating. i do not know your community, but i’d be more than happy to have my kids play masked outdoors with kiddos in that situation. we are generally on the more cautious side (no indoor gatherings at all) and sporadic outdoor playdates, kiddos do not go on errands, etc. in part for our own family, but also for families like yours. i think we have a responsibility to try to protect everyone, but i know there are many people who disagree with that sentiment. can you identify some families in your circle who are more cautious to begin with and then mask for the added layer of protection?
IHeartBacon says
My heart breaks for you, reading your post. I don’t know anyone who is immunocompromised, so I don’t have any tips to offer, but what I will say is that some of us out there are taking Covid very very seriously and aren’t doing any of the things that were discussed above in another threat. Some of us feel a social and moral obligation to protect our country’s most vulnerable, including children and immunocompromised individuals.
I am young, healthy, and fully vaccinated and I am 99.9% confident that if I caught Covid I would survive, but I know I am lucky/blessed to be in my position. The power is in my hands to protect you and others similarly situated and all I have to do is wear a mask and stay home, so I do.
Anon says
Yup yup, all of this and now pregnant, because I thought expanding our family once a lot of people (myself included) got vaccinated would be a good idea. In Florida. I have made peace with the fact that I, my husband and daughter have done everything in our power to protect our health and the monoclonal antibodies treatment will be the first thing I seek out of exposed to Covid. I already have weekly antibody infusions to treat my primary immunodeficiency and they are dynamite at protecting me from the germs of the pre-Covid days. I hope for the same from the mAB. Also, getting my third shot tomorrow.
govtattymom says
Thank you so much to everyone who responded! It really does make me feel less alone and reassures me that there are people who care! For those who are also immunocompromised, I am thinking of you and hoping we can get through this and fully and completely rejoin society without hesitation at some point. Thank you again!
Anonymous says
Also have PI – which product are you using on a weekly basis, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m on an every-five-weeks schedule myself. Have you heard from your manufacturer whether there are COVID antibodies in the batches yet? I have not.
Anon says
Hizentra from CSLBehring, infusing at home on my own. Are you doing IVIG? I was not a fan and much prefer sub-q infusions.
Anonymous says
Thanks! I’m doing sub-q at home as well, but with Hyqvia. The main benefit is the longer interval between doses, but Hizentra looks easier and less fiddly from the video I watched about it. Either way, doesn’t it suck?? I’m grateful this technology exists for us, but man, what a drag at times.
travel pumper says
How do you pump while traveling ? tips? supplies? we’re flying, one layover (should only need to pump once during travel), leaving baby behind for 4 days. want to continue nursing when I get home. Do I need to bring like a large cooler? Drying rack for the hotel room? look into shipping the milk back?
Anonymous says
Look at milkstork for shipping the milk back. Or you could pump and dump
Anonymous says
Oxo Tot makes a good travel drying rack.
Fallen625 says
I did a lot of this! Went on 15 trips while breastfeeding. I got the 200 yeti cooler, it can keep milk all day, and a travel pump. Pump right before and after your fight – a lot of airports have lactation rooms, but if not you can use the family bathroom. It’s no fun but totally doable.
Anon. says
I usually just dried on a wash cloth in the hotel room. Hotels will either give you a fridge for your room or keep it in a freezer for you in like a staff kitchen. Freeze it if you can. When coming back through the airport I would ask a Starbucks or similar for ice after I got thru security to add to my cooler.
AnonATL says
My son has been doing this thing lately where he shoves his hands in his mouth during meal time and makes himself gag, occasionally to the point of vomiting. I can’t decide if it’s because his teeth hurt or for attention. Anyone had this before and have tips? He only does it at meals.
OP says
Forgot to mention: he’s just over a year and has at least 1 lower molar and 1 upper molar along with all 8 of his incisors.
GCA says
At that age, very likely teeth! Perhaps eating is bothering his sore gums.
Anonymous says
My LO is doing the same thing and has had a couple of upper teeth come in this week. Almost got sent home from daycare yesterday because of vomiting…facepalm.
So Anon says
Has anyone used one of those at home helium tanks for balloons? Is it workable? I’m trying to find ways to make a second Covid birthday fun for my soon-to-be 8 year old. Any other ideas? It will just be our immediate family, and her birthday is on a weekday in the second week of school.
Anonymous says
– pancakes for breakfast with whipped cream and sprinkles. Use a few drops of food dye to make them her favorite color
– does she have any celebrity she loves? Maybe get her a Cameo?
– fancy picnic lunch at nearby park (my kids eat lunch at school but we always take them out on their birthdays)
– sparklers after dinner (most dollar stores carry them even when it’s not new year’s)
Anon says
those yard signs or balloons in the yard are very popular where we live. not sure if they are a thing where you live as well? would she be interested in a zoom party with a few besties or an outdoor gathering?
Blueridge29 says
We got a helium balloon bouquet with a great big 8 and a blow up dinosaur that my kiddo enjoyed.
Anonymous says
My mom got one of those tanks once and it worked fine, but it seems so wasteful. Some of the full-service grocery stores with floral departments near us sell helium balloon bouquets–is that an option?
Anon says
-this is a know your kids/family type of thing, but if you don’t mind them getting too sugared up, is there a cupcake bakery near you where in addition to having a cake at home, you could have 8 different flavors of cupcakes, or 8 different flavors of ice cream.
-if she is a deep enough sleeper, decorate her door while she is sleeping with streamers.
-do you do presents in your family? make a mini at home scavenger hunt with 8 clues in different birthday cards that lead her to your present?
Anonymous says
For my daughter’s birthday during lockdown, instead of helium balloons I got foil letter balloons from Target that you blow up with a straw plus a lot of latex balloons and an air pump and made a balloon arch. It’s really easy and you can fill the balloons and assemble the whole thing the night before, then put it out early in the morning to surprise her.
Redux says
Helium is a finite resource and is a byproduct of natural gas drilling, i.e., terrible for the environment. Your handful of balloons for a birthday celebration are a completely insignificant drop in the bucket, of course, but also totally optional/avoidable if you want to try to be climate conscious.
For my 7 year old we got a few rolls of streamers and made a web of random floor-to-ceiling obstacle course from her bedroom door to the breakfast table where her gifts were– she loved it! And we all got a kick out of climbing through/tearing it down.
IHeartBacon says
Instead of helium, you can try using this balloon tape to make a garland or arch or something: https://www.amazon.com/Balloon-Decorating-Strip-16-5-Party/dp/B07H6ZV5HB/ref=sr_1_5?crid=JHP3A0JCXVUL&dchild=1&keywords=balloon+strip+for+garland&qid=1629916863&sprefix=Balloon+strip+%2Caps%2C217&sr=8-5
I also recommend getting an electric balloon pump to blow them instead of blowing them up by mouth. If you have an electric bike pump with a pointed tip attachment, you can use that too.
As for ideas, what about using making a little photo booth area with props for everyone to take photos. I’m sure you can find some ideas on Pinterest based on your daughter’s interests.