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When my oldest was a baby, I took her to the local library’s story/play group. One of the toys she took a liking to was a set of stackable cups like these. Thanks to the wonders of online shopping, they were in our house by the end of the week.
She (and now her younger brother) still play with them today. With a little imagination, these cups can become towers, hiding places for little treasures, and even bowls for “food.” I’ve even used them at the pool and to make sandcastles.
This set of eight brightly colored cups is $4.99 at Amazon.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Cornellian says
I’m newly pregnant with my second (I’m that poster who got pregnant with an IUD and a condom, then had an ectopic, and then got pregnant with a nuvaring and a condom) and trying to distract myself while I wait to make sure this pregnancy is not trying to kill me a bit by maternity shopping.
The last time I was pregnant, I was due in winter in NYC while working full-time in an international law firm. I have a bunch of (now dated) black and gray basics. This time around I have a more casual job and am back in Austin with an October due date, so am thinking I’ll buy a few dresses. I want to buy dresses that are both maternity AND nursing dresses this time around and layer with open cardigans/jackets, but it seems like nursing dresses are hard to come by. Are there certain brands that are known for that? Is it not really a thing?
Anonymous says
Seraphine has tons.
Walnut says
I had the best luck with wrap dresses from Motherhood Maternity/A Pea in the Pod.
Cornellian says
Thanks! Looks like no nursing dresses there right now (except a sort of delivery gown/something you’d wear at home the first few weeks). Maybe I’m just having a seasonal problem and they’ll come out soon.
Walnut says
So weird! Do any look like they can do double duty even if they’re not marketed that way?
Anonymous says
Good luck! Getting pregnant after an ectopic is so scary. I am 32 weeks with my 2nd child now after having an ectopic back in April. I didn’t have the BC issues though– I feel for you!
A lot of the dresses on Seraphine are maternity/nursing combined. I have also seen lots of combined nursing/maternity clothes on Old Navy and Gap, but I don’t specifically remember dresses. I had a bad time with nursing my first and wasn’t able to do so despite wanting to very badly, so I’ve actually been trying to avoid “nursing” clothes as they are triggering to me.
Cornellian says
Yeah, I get that. a couple months ago I saw a friend with a baby and just that buttery yellow medela bottle cap took me back in a very bad way. I ultimately had a good time nursing but it was so awful in the beginning, and pumping was awful the entire time. I’m not sure I’m as committed this time around…
DLC says
I feel like Medela yellow should be in the Pantone colour book.
anonamama says
came here to LOL at that. Wasn’t it inspired by a 60s kitchen?
Cornellian says
It is engrained in to my memory forever. It gave me a truly physical jolt of a reaction.
I don’t know what inspired it, but it does read 60s or 70s to me.
Anonymous says
I would actually look for non-maternity wrap dresses that you can wear in early pregnancy and then afterwards for nursing. I found combination maternity/nursing clothes to be too ample in the belly area for postpartum wear.
Anonymous says
That was my experience too. Not only was I thoroughly sick of my maternity/ nursing dress by the time the baby was born but it was really stretched out in the belly.
Mary Moo Cow says
I loved my Isabella Oliver dresses during pregnancy and nursing. I bought two 3/4 sleeve ones (navy and black) and one sleeveless black one (in the SEUS, with May and August babies) and wore the heck out of them, even after returning to work. They were comfortable, flattering, and easy to nurse or pump in. I found dresses to be much more tolerable than shirts and shorts in the summer, although I did have some Pea in the Pod maternity shirts and Old Navy linen maternity shorts that were very comfortable.
Anon says
Gap always has a few maternity/nursing dresses. Maybe Old Navy, too. FWIW I think it is hard to find one that does true double duty, they usually have that weird boob flap or are circus tents postpartum. Many stretchy jersey or polyester dresses are good for nursing, though – I had regular Gap dresses and Amazon Basics dresses that I fit into all 9 months. Maybe size up, but as long as they have a wrap front, lowish neckline, or buttons, they should work .
GCA says
Good luck! I had a couple of Loyal Hana maternity/ nursing dresses that were lightweight polyester. They got a little short at the very end of pregnancy so I turned them into tunics with leggings. You’ll probably get more mileage out of them in Austin than I did in Boston :)
Cornellian says
Oo, fun, I’d never heard of them. Looks like the side b00b access would be fine for nursing but maybe not pumping? It’s sort of TBD whether I’ll pump this time, I guess.
DLC says
Oh man… big internet hugs to you as you wait!
I have a few dresses from Latched Mama that I like. I’ve also found cute nursing dresses on ASOS. They are supposedly maternity but maybe not so much for when one is 34 weeks, depending.
Anon. says
Check some of the nursing specific clothing lines as opposed to maternity stores maybe? Latched Mama for instance I think has some.
Anonymous says
I had an October due date. I lived in wrap maternity dresses. Then I kept on living in them for nursing. If you are carful about colors you can make them last summer-December.
Anonymous says
Cornellian, I do not have recommendations for your dresses, but I wanted to ask whether you are a member of MAMAs in Austin? It’s an attorney mom group and everyone is SO nice. You can find them on Facebook and Meetup.
Cornellian says
I joined maybe last year? I am not super active on facebook but some of the posts can be super helpful! Once I’m out at work I’ll probably ask there if anyone has a bundle of old maternity (or newborn) clothing they want to be rid of.
Thanks so much!
Cb says
What’s everyone up to this weekend?
I somehow managed to finish my whole to do list this week so I’m just chipping away at things this afternoon. We have a new couch arriving – our first new couch, so I’m looking forward to getting the sitting room arranged nicely. Not quite sure how it’ll fit, Made and I apparently have differing interpretations of the words “right hand chaise”.
Swim lessons on Saturday lunchtime, and then a playdate in the city Saturday afternoon with my son’s very fancy bestie. We’re super nosy about their posh bohemian lifestyle :) Some Christmas money is burning a hole in my son’s pocket so we may go to the Lego store afterward.
anon. says
From one of the New Orleans moms on this board, parades, cakes, chips, Popeye’s, and more parades. Settling in for the long haul til Tuesday.
Anonymous says
There are other New Orleans moms here?!?
SC says
Happy Mardi Gras! I went to Langenstein’s last night and bought a hilarious assortment of food. I’ll be taking Kiddo out to the parades tonight because FIL is riding and DH is dancing in one. My parents are coming in town tomorrow to be with us, especially Kiddo, through Mardi Gras break. We won’t make it to all the parades though–maybe one weekend day and either Monday night or Tuesday. It’s too much!
Aunt Jamesina says
Loads of paperwork here! Husband is applying for US citizenship, getting baby a US passport and putting together her citizenship paperwork for husband’s home country, and doing our taxes. We know how to have fun.
Cb says
Oh wow! I remember taking my 3 week old to the US Embassy to get his passport. 2 hours in a tiny room with all the other Scottish-born American babies. His passport is due for renewal and I’m not sure it is worth the hassle? He and I have British passports, and my parents aren’t in the US anymore.
Colette says
I think it’s worth renewing. Dramatically easier than reapplying. You never know what the world is going to look like and it’s good to have multiple passports.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yeah, we believe the likelihood of our child ever using her other citizenship is low, but this world is crazy. I’d just get the passport renewed so it’s less of a headache. My husband’s aunt is going through getting a new American passport after she let hers lapse and it’s apparently a huge headache.
NYCer says
+1. I would absolutely renew. Much easier to renew that reapply after a lapse.
Cb says
Yes, true. You have to apply in person if you are under 16, so I’m not sure the process is different either way, but I wouldn’t want to have to rush. I need to get his British passport renewed next week for summer travel.
Anon. says
If I remember correctly, the US passport renewal process for a minor is almost the same process as getting a new one. We had to renew my son’s US passport here in the States, and involved an appointment at the post office, the forms etc. Maybe a few less forms re: birth certificates etc, but I recall that both parentns had to go or provide an affidavit etc…
Anon says
Yes, this is correct. There’s no renew by mail option for kids (who have to renew every 5 years instead of 10 like adults) and both parents have to show up in person at the post office. It’s really not any easier than applying for a new passport.
Anonymous says
Of course it is worth the hassle. Do you want to be in an emergency situation not able to go someplace with your kid because you didn’t keep his paperwork up to date?!?
Aunt Jamesina says
Cb and her son both have UK citizenship, so I don’t think they’d have that problem.
Anonymous says
That’s a very naive take on the world.
Aunt Jamesina says
Sorry, I stated that poorly. I meant Cb’s options in the current political landscape. I literally commented above about getting my own kid citizenship in my husband’s country of origin just in case, so I’m certainly not naive to the realities of how things can change and recognize the importance of pursuing citizenship where you can!
Anonymous says
My family and 3 close friends are having a little baby “Sprinkle” for me on Saturday. It will be nice just to get together with this little group of people. This is my 2nd baby and first boy, with 2 losses in between. I started a new job at 20 weeks pregnant, so I haven’t really put much thought or preparation into getting ready for this baby at all. This will be a nice little acknowledgment that it’s really happening :)
Cornellian says
Have fun!
Cornellian says
I am studying for the second level of CAIA, a charter for alternative investments. I’m a lawyer and it’s not truly necessary, but now that i’m pregnant I want to get it out of the way if I can! It’ll be (strangely) cold and gross here in Texas, so my son’s German school’s Fasching celebration will be inside and he’ll be sad about it.
Mary Moo Cow says
To be determined. I was excited for the three day weekend last weekend, and ready for a chill family weekend, but then my social media feed filled up with friends skiing and going to Disney, and it really brought me down. We tried to take a walk in a new park but it was so cold and windy it wasn’t enjoyable. I’m trying to remember that adventure is what you make of it for this weekend, but the weather forecast is pretty gloomy. Probably checking out some of the new houses under construction in our neighborhood will be the highlight of the weekend.
Anon says
Literally nothing. We had an outdoor birthday party for my 4 year old last weekend, this was birthday week so very exhausting, and the next six straight weekends we’re traveling or having family visit so this is our last low key weekend. DD will sleepover at my parents’ tonight and I’m very excited about sleeping in tomorrow.
Anonymous says
Unpacking from our move! And picking up a king cake on Sunday for Mardi Gras :)
GCA says
Snow day today. We’re getting 6 to 8 inches or so. Parents have split the workday, kids are running around in their pajamas while the snow flies, and later this afternoon the backyard will be a canvas for budding snow sculptors.
It’s the tail end of school vacation week so there are no swim lessons tomorrow – I may haul kids to the Y anyway to splash around. Also, I’m hoping to get a run in as well as some writing – I have a personal project to write at least one short essay each month; nominally about some aspect of biodiversity, but it’s also my way of making sense of what is happening in the world environmentally and geopolitically.
Anonymous says
Kiddo has her second non-COVID virus since masks became optional at school at the end of January. Two-way masking is definitely more effective than one-way masking (yes, I am sure she is wearing her mask at school because she is one of those kids who gets worried when she sees someone in public with their mask under their nose). So I will be making soup and trying not to catch whatever she has.
AnonTX says
Today is Go Texan day, so sent my kids off to school in cowboy gear :) This time of the year is a mix of Mardi Gras and Rodeo in Houston, so definitely a fun time overall…especially since ready or not this year is more “normal”
Tomorrow AM, going to a informational fair for a local (public) Pre-K, and then a bridal shower. I will likely spend Saturday night at my parents house with the kids so looking forward to QT with my side of the family. Will head back home Sunday and plan to make a delicious soup for what seems like the last of our cold weather.
Hoping to also sneak in workouts and have to work on a deck in between!
Spirograph says
Fun! I love the Rodeo. I have family in Houston and Dallas and like to do my obligatory visits to coincide with Rodeo and bluebonnets. We went in 2019, but I’m not quite ready to get on a plane yet. maybe next year. Unfortunately we’ve missed the prime years for my kids to do the sheep-riding :(
So Anon says
I am taking my kids skiing for a half-day at the local hill tomorrow. It will be just me and my two kids. My oldest is my daredevil who believes turning while going downhill is optional. My other child gets easily frustrated and decides that she is done half-way down a hill. Wish me luck?
EDAnon says
That’s my duo too. We have fun but I have never taken both on my own.
EDAnon says
Mine our littler than yours (3 and 5.5). The 5.5yo is the bomber (probably obv).
Anonymous says
Mine are 3.5, 5.5 and 8. 5.5 year old is phenomenal. Just the right combo of athleticism and lack of fear. 3.5 y/o is the mad bomber trying to keep up (but she isn’t on a harness!) and my 8 year old still slips back into a pizza when she’s nervous/tired.
Anonymous says
Have fun! Your kids are old enough to just meet you at lunch.
GCA says
This will be us in a few years. Kid 1 is a daredevil with ridiculous gross motor skills who automatically picks up any new physical skill in about five minutes (DH is this way too – really, there’s no justice in the universe. Meanwhile, I have terrible memories of PE lessons). Kid 2 is currently a cautious mostly-indoor cat, but she does like being outside.
Boston Legal Eagle says
That’s us too, and snow day here too as you know. The kids don’t ski yet but I plan to get them lessons next winter. My older one loves the outside and my little one prefers the inside so it’ll have to be a parent tag team effort.
Anonymous says
My ordinarily cautious child is also a mad bomber on skis. She claims she knows how to turn but I’ve never seen her do it.
Pogo says
My kid’s first ski lesson they had to take him aside because he wasn’t turning and they said “that’s against our safety protocols on the bunny hill”.
EDAnon says
Mine is also usually cautious! His brother is the wild one but we won’t let him off the bunny slope until he can stop (other than throwing himself on the ground as he does not)
EDAnon says
We will ski and go to church in Saturday. Hopefully, we will have a play date Sunday. I will try to get a run in both days since I am signed up for a 10K next weekend.
I had a runny nose this week and didn’t run at all so I need to catch up a little.
Anon says
We usually have relatively quiet weekends, but this one is surprisingly busy. I’m leaving my two kids at home to my best friend and her newborn for an outdoor patio lunch on Saturday. Our nanny comes over Saturday evening so my husband and I can go out for a long overdue date night. On Sunday morning, my husband will probably take my oldest to the beach to run around and fly kites while I occupy the toddler at home or at the park. Then we’ll go over to a new friend’s house on Sunday afternoon for a playdate/early dinner (it’s the first time our husbands are meeting – hope they hit it off and this turns into new “couple friends” for us too!).
We recently went through nearly two weeks of a stomach virus circulating through our house, so I’m just relieved to have a nice weekend where no one throws up and we don’t have to cancel any plans, honestly (fingers crossed!).
Spirograph says
My oldest and husband will be at a Sport tournament all day tomorrow, so after my daughter’s ballet class in the morning, I’m heading to a Smithsonian (TBD, but likely an art one) with the younger kids.
I’m hoping for a whole lot of nothing on Sunday. Depending on how the Saturday games go, oldest may be in the final on Sunday. If I’m feeling ambitious, maybe we’ll go to church… but Sunday School hasn’t come back yet, and I do not enjoy having the kids with me for the service. (and they don’t enjoy it either)
AwayEmily says
Our weekend plan is just survival. Kids were in unexpected quarantine all week, so we have spent the last five days home with a 5yo, 4yo, and newborn. Everyone is getting very sick of each other. So excited for them to be back at school on Monday (assuming PCRs come back negative).
Anonymous says
First time parent navigating making a potential daycare/preschool change. There are reasons I’ve been wanting to switch but now that we have spots elsewhere, I’m weirdly feeling hesitant. Probably because it’s the first daycare for our first kid and it was a bit scary to leave them the first time. Can anyone weigh in on how you’ve decided to move centers, what made you choose to move, and any advice you can offer on how to make the decision? If helpful, current place is affordable, extremely convenient, healthy foods, issues have been with transitions to different rooms and what almost seems like hiding the transition or lack thereof and refusing to engage on it and confrontational when asked but that was later somewhat resolved (it’s mostly due to ratios it seems) academic type programming but also some creative stuff too. They’ve also been willing to individualize a lot for my kid (sound machine etc). New place is a lot more expensive, little bit further away, well established, more activities but less academic, very hard to get off waitlist, seems like teacher turnover issues (not uncommon now in our area), but very kid focused.
Anonymous says
We switched from daycare to traditional preschool and never looked back.
If you do it at a natural transition time (summer? Winter break?) It’s no big deal for the kids.
Cornellian says
I’m not sure I understand exactly why you’re leaving. Is it that the new place won’t have the transition issues?
I second the idea of doing it at a natural transition time, if the waitlist/finances allow it. Maybe Spring break in a couple weeks?
I switched my son at 2 years and 3 months when we moved cities and he was fine, but I wouldn’t move again unless there was really something dangerous. I also highly value short commutes because I find commuting particularly soulsucking.
Anonymous says
I moved him because he was in a class of four with two teachers and kept getting bitten (the worst week was four times in five days). They wouldn’t tell me who it is, which I understand sort of, but then the director mansplained child rearing to me and I was done. My gregarious, easygoing boy became clingy and hesitant. That’s how I knew it was really necessary to move him. Good luck. Whatever you decide will be fine (thought personally I wouldn’t move to a farther day care for this issue but that’s me).
OP says
This is helpful – thanks! Basically current place has one room for under 24 mo but breaks out the older kids into an auxiliary room at times so they sort of have this separate toddler class but it’s unclear who was in it and what they do with them. The way they handled it has kind of ruined my trust in them but I am aware that I have high expectations. The current teachers for the whole under 24 mo. aren’t particularly qualified but the director is very involved with this group (she knows specifics about them when asked). However they don’t do much with them, for example the only art is occasional crayons. But weirdly there will be pictures of every other class in the school except for the toddlers from the under 24 mo class on the website every single day and it’s become a weird sticking point for me. I asked them to include the toddlers bc that’s the only way I know what they do and it’s improved somewhat. My child is 16 mo though, so by the time the spot in the other center is ready, he’d be in a 2s class there so maybe I should be comparing the 2s class at my current center.
anon says
Any chance there are other parents in the class who requested their child’s picture not be published online and that’s why there are fewer photos? We made this request at our daycare.
Spirograph says
I’m not quite sure I would move in your situation, but I’m sure there are some gut feelings that are hard to articulate. If you’re unhappy with how the administration communicates with you, that’s a certainly something to put in the “con” column.
We changed childcare a few times in daycare years…
1. Nanny to in-home daycare (kid was 1)
2. In-home to a small center (kids were infant and 2.5). We made this switch because all the “big kids” were leaving the in-home daycare and leaving just my oldest and some infants; I wanted my son to have age peers to play with.
3. Small center to larger, YMCA center (kids were almost 2 and 3.5, oldest was graduating to K anyway). I was frustrated with the school administration for some recent decisions (not related to actual child care) that pushed me to look at other options. YMCA was cheaper, much more convenient based on elementary school/work commute, and swim lessons were included during the school day. Even frustrated with the administration, I second-guessed and cried on my kids’ last day; I loved the teachers there.
All of our daycares were great, it was just a matter of what was most important to us at that time. We did all our changes in the summer and just started with the new session. Transitions can be tough for kids, but transitions are part of life.
EDAnon says
We switched when my first kid was 1 and even though it was best for us (the first school was religious in not our religion and was geographically inconvenient). It was still so hard!
We wanted to be sure we made the right call so we didn’t keep switching him. Plus, the teachers at the first schools loved him so much! But we did switch. It was worth it. He’s graduating from the second school’s preschool in June!
Anon says
Completely agree. We moved daycares when my kid was 2.5. It was the right call for a lot of reasons, but it was still hard to leave the old center, and I felt really emotional about it leading up the change. I was really worried about disrupting my kid’s life in what felt like a pretty significant way, but she did absolutely fine. A few tears the first day and maybe asked about her old school once or twice. I think if you can time it for when your kid would naturally change rooms, that would be ideal. It did suck that we got settled in one room and had to change shortly after to another.
EDAnon says
With how young my son was, he forgot his old school right away, which was really sad. Those women were amazing caregivers and I wish he remembered the love and fun.
AwayEmily says
We have switched twice and both times were worried but ended up SO glad we did. Trust your instincts.
Anonymous says
Yet another ‘snow’ day (icy rain/hail but no actual good snow to send kids out to play in) and my husband is away until Sunday so forcing kiddo to do his remote learning assignments plus try to ‘work’ is on me. And in a feat of stupendously bad timing the contractors who we need to do some work on the house before construction can proceed on a bigger project are free on Saturday…or not again till May. So we took the slot but now I get to board two pets and get myself and son out of the house in the February grossness to give them room to work. I may lock myself in my bedroom on Sunday with my kindle and refuse to come out. Blergh.
Pogo says
open a bottle of wine as soon as they are in bed tonight!!
anon says
I posted previously about my upcoming IUI – we learned yesterday that it didn’t work, so I’m now awaiting financial clearance to hopefully start the stim cycle for IVF with my next period. Honestly, I’m not even that disappointed since I knew that the success rate for IUI was low, but man is the prospect of IVF exhausting to think about. I would love to hear successful IVF stories, especially if you were older (I’m 41, and have really AFC/etc. numbers for my age, but still – I’m 41). I have one child already, conceived without medical assistance at 39, but we’ve been trying 9 months for a second without luck…
Aunt Jamesina says
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear your IUI didn’t work! I remember feeling a strange relief once I spoke with my RE a few days after my final IUI failed that I was finally eligible for the “big guns” of IVF and we had a plan. IVF is tiring BUT outside of surgery I felt like it was incremental small steps, so I felt like the actual process wasn’t overwhelming, even if it was emotionally heavy.
Best of luck to you! I’m 36 and currently holding my 10 week old IVF baby. A coworker of mine is in her early 40s and due with hers this summer.
busybee says
I had three failed IUIs. My first IVF transfer resulted in a miscarriage and my second transfer resulted in my daughter. I honestly found IVF physically to be a piece of cake. I quickly got used to injecting myself, and I had no side effects. Emotionally it was very difficult because of all of the unknowns. I was 30, so can’t comment on the age factor.
Anonymous says
+1 to everything except I am 35 and this is my first pregnancy
anon says
I can’t comment on the age bit, but after 6 failed IUIs we switched to IVF and got twins out of our first transfer. Now I’m in the midst of prep for a FET transfer next week that will hopefully result in baby #3 (fingers crossed).
Anon says
We conceived our first child through IVF at 34. Did another FET recently which failed, and now considering doing a third egg retrieval at 37. IVF was like a part-time job in addition to my full-time job. The doctor appointments, working with a specialty pharmacy to make sure I received all of my medications on time, diligently following my calendar, etc. I recommend the online course FertilityIQ to understand what to expect.
Anon says
Me! I was 41 at my retrieval, and 2 months shy of my 43rd birthday when my big baby girl was born. They received 32 eggs, 25 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5, 3 passed all genetic screens. The first implant stuck, easy pregnancy. She’s 19 months now, healthy, a total delight.
Also had great AFC numbers, and no evident fertility issues other than age. I’d been trying for 4 years prior that IVF, no pregnancies during that time that I know of. I became pregnant easily with my first at 36.
anon says
Ah, this makes me feel so much better. Thank you!
Pogo says
We skipped straight from clomid/letrozole to IVF because our insurance didn’t require a certain of IUI tries, and our RE felt that IUI is really only helpful in male factor cases. I do feel very grateful for this because all the failed trying for a year + failed medicated cycles had already worn me down. IVF is no joke medication wise, but I did successfully travel (including camping) while on my stim cycle. I had two successful FETs – 1 was my first kiddo (a few months after my retrieval, a I had a few complications) and the second was my younger kiddo just about 3 years exactly after my first. My RE emphasized both times that it is a 50% success rate at each transfer – which is of course higher than than all the other methods, but still means it’s not a sure thing. I feel very lucky both of my were a success on the first try, but the FET itself is pretty easy and assuming retrieval goes well that part is not hard to do multiple times. People who do stim and retrieval multiple times are the real heroes!!
Anon says
We started the IVF process when I was 38, and did 5 egg retrievals when I was 39 (to bank embryos before starting transfers because we knew we wanted multiple children and age is a friend to no one’s eggs). I had a great AFC and no other issues – our problem was male factor (prostate partial blockage – who even knew that was a thing)?
Our first transfer failed, second was a success and our daughter was born when I was 40.5. I just turned 42 and we just finished the preliminary testing for our next round of transfer(s), will do the first one in March/April.
I have nothing to compare it to, but pregnancy was easy despite my “advanced maternal age”. I think some people get dealt a good hand and others a difficult one, and my mom says I used up all my bad cards on the route to GETTING pregnant :) I’m absolutely excited about being pregnant again soon.
Anon says
You can do this! I have an amazing 11-month old with eggs retrieved when I was 39 and transferred when I was 40. However, I will say it was physically and emotionally hard for me because I had to do three egg retrievals and three transfers to get him. I did genetic testing each time since I had a few miscarriages prior to trying IVF and each retrieval only resulted in one genetically normal egg. I had two failed transfers and the third one was successful. I just wanted to provide my story because many of my friends who did IVF were successful on the first try, which was amazing, but I thought the same would happen for me so it really hit hard when my first two transfers failed and I had to start over each time. Like others, I didn’t find all the injections, blood draws and appointments that bad but when you have to do it for three full cycles, work a demanding job and make other life plans around the retrievals and transfers, it became a lot. It’s totally worth it (and I even realized I had to have all those miscarriages and failed transfers to get to him; otherwise he wouldn’t have come into being). And it will happen for you too. I hope you will be successful on the first try though and will be sending you good vibes!
Anon for this says
I have two kids from IVF (one fresh, one frozen transfer). I only had to do one retrieval and found the stim physically not too bad, though the surgery wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had and knocked me back more than I had expected. The two-ish weeks of the stim & retrieval process was pretty busy in terms of number of appointments, and I do remember my doctor being like “it’s just X days of these couple of meds” and then I ended up with an additional shot and more days than I was expecting, but that was annoying not terrible. There’s also an element of unknown, since the date of surgery depends on how the stim process goes, and that was hard to plan around. It was emotionally draining, but I was also so emotionally drained by the time I got to that point that I don’t remember how much worse it was, if at all. I also felt like my clinic was super supportive of IVF patients and so found the process somewhat easier than medicated cycles and IUI from that angle.
Good luck. Fertility treatments are so hard and can be so isolating. I’m glad you’re posting here and hopefully feeling support.
Lily says
Any thoughts (pro or con) re Montessori education for a 18 month old and 3.5 year old?
They would be transitioning from a more traditional daycare setting. We love our daycare but we are moving and it would be convenient to put them in a school closer to our new house. I’ve heard wonderful things about Montessori but I am concerned about our older daughter transitioning to a (presumably) much different environment. Our current daycare seems like it’s almost all play-focused, which seems like the most recommended approach based on current knowledge/science? Is Montessori too much play, too little, just right, or what?
And if anyone has specific experience with Montessori daycares/preschools in Moorestown NJ (or other South Jersey towns), that would be wonderful!
Anonymous says
IIRC this board doesn’t love Montessori, but it has ended up being perfect for our family. My oldest (about to be 5) started at 18 months; you may have an adjustment with your 3.5 year old but I’ve seen them come in and do great. My place is “Montessori light” – the director offers full day care (half day “work”, half day outside play), and doesn’t require any Montessori at home, which was great for me as a working mom who couldn’t take on something new. The thing I love about it is the outdoor time and the director’s laid back approach to both behavior and learning. We are not keeping up with the jomeses types, but I also don’t have a lot of mom friends, so the director has been a good mentor for me. My mom skews “your baby coughed; he probably has cancer.” So a more balanced, experienced voice has been good for me. You don’t necessarily need to do Montessori to get that, but that’s just been my experience. Tl;dr – I would try it. You can certainly move your kids if it’s not for you.
Anonymous says
Montessori schools require you to implement their philosophy at home? That is crazypants. Our preschool never tried to dictate how we parented at home.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yeah, there’s Montessori and then there’s Montessori! I’ve actually drifted away from a friend who started her second career as a Montessori teacher because it frankly feels like talking to someone in a cult. I like a lot of the philosophy behind Montessori, but the school closest to us is definitely of the… orthodox persuasion.
Anon says
I think “require” is a bit strong. They may recommend you implement certain elements of Montessori at home, but they obviously don’t have any way of enforcing it.
Anonymous says
I know someone whose kids went to a Waldorf school (which is literally a cult, it was started by a spiritualist who also started Theosophy) and they had to sign a pledge for no television or screens at home.
I often wonder how the pandemic went for that school.
Anon says
My kids started in a Montessori-lite school at 4.5 and had no problems with the transition, so I think you’ll be okay. It’s definitely more structured/less play-based, but it’s not like it’s everyone sitting down and doing worksheets all day.
Lily says
Thanks, both! Follow up question with clarification – the plan would be to send both girls through kindergarten until 1st grade, at which point we’d switch to local public elementary. Does your answer change if we don’t plan to continue montessori for elementary?
Anonymous says
Nope! I’m anonymous above and I have the same plan as you. I think Montessori has prepared him for everything about kindergarten except sitting for 8 hours a day, heh.
Anonymous says
Not the prior poster, but also nope. My kids will go back to public school next year. The teachers are used to this and adjust how they work with kids who will be transitioning to public school to help them get used to abstracting concepts and using the terms that are favored in the public school curriculum. There’s a big exodus after K in many Montessori schools, I’d ask the specific ones you’re considering how they prepare kids to transition to a public school.
Anon says
At our school many kids are only there for Primary (ages 3-6) and then switch to another “normal” school for K or 1st grade, so I don’t think that would be a problem. My kids would have been super bored switching for K, because the first part of K is all about learning how to be in a classroom, assessing student levels, etc, whereas staying in their Primary classroom meant their teacher knew their abilities and most of the kids knew how school worked from the beginning.
Anonymous says
I’m worried about my kids being super bored in public school next year. my kindergartener already knows multiplication, squares, and cubes thanks to those little Montessori bead chains, and is reading really well. While I am a huge proponent of public schools, I’m also realistic about the headwinds from our local schools being virtual all of last year and intermittently closed this year. I guess worst case, it will be a good opportunity for them to practice patience and humility…
Anonymous says
That concern is not unique to Montessori kids. Early elementary is too slow-paced for a whole lot of kids. We were actually advised to send our child to public school instead of private because the local public schools could supposedly handle differentiation better. Now that we’ve been through it I’m not sure I believe that.
Anonymous says
The interpretation and implementation of the Montessori philosophy can vary from school to school, and Montessori in general is a good fit for some kids and a terrible fit for others. The only way to know if it might work for your family is to visit the specific school and talk with the administration and classroom teachers. Some Montessori schools, like the one my nephew attended, will allow kids to completely avoid working on subjects they don’t enjoy. Others are very structured and will make kids go through all the materials for every subject in sequence, even if the kid has already mastered the topics, causing boredom and frustration. The Montessori preschool we looked at was too structured academically but not structured enough in terms of classroom management for our child.
Anon says
And this can very even within a school, by teacher. I have two kids in the same school. One teacher is amazing and didn’t force my kid to start the alphabet from the beginning when she obviously already knew how to read; for this kid being in a Montessori classroom means she has easy access to “works” up to grade 2, even though she’s only 5.
My other kids teacher is very into both “you must progress from the beginning and not skip steps” and also “I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to”. Because my kid can do double-digit addition and subtraction, he has no interest in starting with number rods and the teens board, because he’s had the concepts down for ages. This means he avoids all math works and spends most of his time on practical life.
Anonymous says
There are many flavors of Montessori, so I would make the decision based on the individual school. One thing I’ve noticed is that Montessori schools that include older ages seem to adhere more closely to classical Montessori practices/ principles, whereas schools that are preschool only might be using the Montessori brand more than anything else.
My son has been in a very classical Montessori program for the past year. He’s 3.5 and it has been a good environment for him. The kids pick their own “work” each day, so it’s interesting to see what he gravitates toward (he has not once come home with art, but I see other kids in his class bringing home paintings all the time, for example). I’ve noticed that he has really developed an ability to focus for longer stretches on particular tasks or play setups, which has been great to see. And I’ve appreciated that regular push from the teachers to think about ways to give him a chance to participate at home in things like cooking and cleaning, which he loves.
I have mixed feelings about Montessori for older ages, but overall it’s been a great preschool experience for us.
anon says
I was in a Montessori school through 6th grade and would definitely recommend Montessori for the right kid. It is REALLY great at developing independence, because kids are expected to self-direct to such a significant extent, and are also expected to do a lot of things for themselves. Like, I remember preparing my own snack at Montessori school starting very early (including using a knife that could cut fruit, although it wasn’t sharp enough to cut me). By age 8, we were allowed to use a little tabletop oven to bake simple recipes in class, with only light adult supervision (as in, a teacher was in the room, but wasn’t actively overseeing us specifically). I think that had a really lasting impact on my confidence, self-discipline, etc.
The biggest negative I observed: I think Montessori can be a challenging environment for kids who need a lot of day to day structure, whether due to personality or to special needs, because you are expected to self-direct from such an early age in many/most Montessori schools.
None of my Montessori schools expected Montessori at home.
Pogo says
This was me, apparently – my mom put me in Montessori preschool and I came home and said, “I wish they would just tell me what to do!” It stressed me out not to have structure. This is possibly why I thrive in corporate America.
Anon says
My only experience is with a very traditional Montessori program (there are no limitations on using “Montessori” in a school name, so adherence to traditional Montessori philosophy varies widely). It was not a good fit for my child whose greatest love was (and remains) imaginative play. She wanted to take the blocks and tens units and build castles, rather than using them as they are intended to be used. The teachers were endlessly redirecting her, and she was endlessly frustrated that she couldn’t just dress up like a princess and engage in creative play using the classroom items as she saw them in her mind. After a teacher made her put a costume in her cubby because it was “not appropriate to put costumes on at school” (she was 3!!), we pulled her and put her in a Reggio Emilia program with a huge dress up corner, and she absolutely blossomed.
It was a fabulous and happy fit for my logical, structured child. He loved games that had a purpose and doing classroom jobs. He appreciated the structure of the classroom, and thrived with the quiet order of the classroom (hated the “chaos” at the play-based preschool).
I’ve had people on this board who are strong supporters of Montessori tell me Montessori is a great fit for imaginative kids, so YMMV. It was not for mine. I just always caution folks that traditional Montessori philosophy mandates that the manipulatives are supposed to be used a certain way, so it is rigid in that sense. It is child led in that the kids pick what they want to do, but rigid in what they can do with the selected item. I went deep into a Maria Montessori rabbit hole when we pulled out my daughter, and Maria M. really wasn’t about pretend play for kids. She thought kids thrived with reality based activities — so a fully functioning, mini kitchen where they can cook actual food. She believed the best way to develop kids was for them to “play”” at what they observed adults doing, not engaging in pretend play. She also thought fantasy stories could lead to trouble adapting later in life.
Again, more flexible Montessori programs exist that have more creative options available, and as we personally experienced, it’s also very child dependent.
Anon says
We don’t have direct experience with Montessori, but from what I’ve heard from friends it does not sound like a good fit at all for imaginative kids. My kid is exactly like your daughter, she will turn any household object into an item in a pretend play game, and although we never seriously considered Montessori (we got into an amazing play-based daycare we love before she was age-eligible for the local Montessori school) I think it would have been a disaster for her.
Anon says
As a counter point, my super-imaginative kid is doing great in a Montessori classroom. For whatever reason she’s content to spend all her time at home playing pretend, but then not doing it at school. So like everything else about parenting it’s kid-dependent, which can make it really hard to make decisions like this!
Anon says
Exactly! There are very creative kids who thrive in Montessori, but it was a bad fit for my particular creative child. I always share my experience, though, because at the time I was considering pulling her, I often found myself thinking “but Montessori is play based! So why isn’t it a good fit for my creative child?”
It took a lot of research for me, as a parent without an understanding of early childhood education, to appreciate that play based can mean a lot of things. True Montessori IS play based, but the play is all reality based. It doesn’t permit fantasy based play (traditional Montessori won’t allow books in the classroom that have fake creatures or fantasy based stories, for instance), so if your kid wants to do fantasy based play, and if your school is traditional, it might not be a great fit!
Anonymous says
My kindergartener is an aspiring chef and loooooves the real kitchen at his Montessori school. Like, we got him a knife and a cookbook for Christmas, and now he wants and orange juicer for his birthday after learning to squeeze his own orange juice.
Anonymous says
I can’t speak specifically to Montessori for those ages, but my kids have been in a Montessori school for pandemic, including as kindergarteners in the Primary class, which is ages 3-6. I’ve been really impressed with it. There are “works” instead of dress-up and dinosaurs, but I wouldn’t say it’s not play-based. The work *is* play, it’s just with very intentional, designed materials to teach concepts and practical life skills. My kids love(d) the Primary class, even coming from a more traditional preK environment. Even my rambunctious boy (although there is less tolerance for rambunctiousness in Montessori).
Our school also doesn’t have a Montessori at home requirement, but there is more expectation of family participation at the Montessori school than there was at traditional pre-K. This has been tempered a lot because of the pandemic, and it’s not strictly required, but there are parent workshops in the evening (over zoom), a DEI book club/podcast club, etc a couple times a month, and usually a handful of all-school festival events (cancelled the past 2 school years).
Anon says
The parent participation aspect of Montessori actually sounds really nice to me, but I have a much less intense job than many here.
Anon says
For my particular kid, Montessori would have been a disaster (which is why we chose a play-based church preschool that is amazing). My child is absurdly independent and nonconformist and incredibly bright. I am also stupid smart, and I did not want an academic focus because there will be many, many years ahead of her with intense education and I want to delay that as long as possible while still fostering her curiosity and managing boredom. We encourage independence and self-sufficiency at home, but my kid is the kid who, when presented with A or B, always, always, always chooses C. Surviving in this world means that sometimes, you actually do have to pick A or B. We wanted a preschool that, while play based, would encourage doing the same things the group is doing. Also, we really wanted to focus on 1) interactions with other kids and 2) learning how to follow structure (e.g., this is circle time, this is free play time, this is (fun, play-based) group activity time, etc. given that we are not very structured at home due to work schedules and other factors. For kids who need a nudge in the direction of independence and self-direction, I think it could be a great environment (it is for DD’s bestie across the street who struggles with independence). For my particular kid, it would have just encouraged her to get more set in her ways rather than building resilience, flexibility and adaptability. She has fluorished so much in her preschool, and it makes me a bit sad (but of course also excited) that we’re moving on to K next year.
Anonymous says
Haha, I could have written the opposite of this for the exact same sort of kid! She did not do well at all in a play-based preschool and her teachers were at a complete loss for how to deal with her obstinateness and she was pretty bored with a lot of the age-appropriate toys in her classroom. She is thriving at her Montessori school with strict expectations for behavior, teachers who won’t let her get away with messing things up just to be done with them, work that is at her actual level rather than her age level, etc.
Anonymous says
This is very well said and accurately describes our reasoning for choosing play-based preschool over Montessori for our very similar child. She learned to read by osmosis at age 3 and did not need any drilling on letters. She needed to play, run around outside, and learn to follow directions and function in a group setting.
Anon says
I really liked montessori for my kid when she was 2-3 and she gained so much independence from it but by around 3.5 it felt too restrictive/serious. We switched then to a program with more creative play and exuberance and that was a much better fit for her at that slightly older stage.
Anon says
Just a vent or a scream into the void. A coworker is taking his two little kids camping this weekend, and he was SO excited to tell me all about it (it’s pretty well known around my office that I regularly camp with my kids). But…..guy, it’s going to get really freaking cold. We live in North Carolina, and 30 degrees overnight with rain is actually one of the greatest hypothermia risks. It gets sneaky cold, and it’s easy to get caught unprepared if you are wet, especially. His kids are little (2 and 4 yr old boys) and inexperienced campers, and they do not have the proper gear to camp out in this weather. I know this because he told me what he was taking, and spoiler alert, it’s not enough. I offered him our extra gear and tried several different times and several different ways to tell him it’s a bad idea, even saying straight up, you are putting your kids at risk of hypothermia. BUT he (used to) camp ALL THE TIME. ALL OVER THE WORLD. IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER.
Ugh, I’m both annoyed that he wanted to mansplain how to camp to me — even though he’s never camped with kids, and it’s a totally different ballgame than a bunch of 20 year olds going out — and being legit worried they will put themselves at risk. I think he’s camping close enough to home that he can bail if needed, but ugh, he’s at least in for a long night.
Cornellian says
Ooof that is frustrating. Hopefully he’ll come back chagrined next week? and hopefully he carries emergency blankets?
I had one camping night (not my first) alone with my three year old when it rained and was in the upper 30s and it was unbelievably miserable. I camped with him in the upper 20s but dry and that was way less miserable. Raining while camping with kids is pretty much h3ll on earth.
Anon says
Agreed completely!! If it’s going to rain, give me a mug of whisky and my sleeping bag and a book. Do NOT give me kids who treat the tent like a rumble zone, and trash the whole dang thing!
Anon says
Not your circus, not your monkeys. Just smile and nod.
EDAnon says
True but it also always hurts me to see folks put their kids at risk.
Anon says
I employ that strategy with this particular co-worker often. But in this case, risk of hypothermia is real. I was really shaken by the story of the couple who passed away last year with their young child and dog while they were on a day hike because they did not bring enough water. Heartbreaking. I guess I’m having a hard time shaking this one off knowing how quickly an outdoor situation can go from uncomfortable to dangerous, and knowing he doesn’t seem to appreciate the risk in this case. They are going somewhere remote, so it’s not even like they will be around other people if things go sideways.
Anon says
Threading fail – meant to reply to earlier Anon.
Anon says
Just to help you feel a little bit better: it will be car camping, right? Like their car will be parked next to their tent? If so, that is a huge difference between him and the (totally heartbreaking!!) situation with the family hikers. By the time they realized they were in trouble they had no prayer of getting to their car. If this guy gets in trouble, they can hopefully just hop in the car and it seems like there is not much of an emergency that couldn’t fix here if they have an option to drive home at any given time.
(Not to invalidate your feelings, this does sound very infuriating and I guess the risk is one of the kids gets dangerously close to hypothermia and the dad doesn’t realize it. I have no idea how much of a risk “silent” hypothermia is. Also, if he’s planning on hiking away from the car and then camping that is very alarming but with little kids I can’t imagine?)
Anonymous says
I can’t imagine a 2 or 4 year old would get hypothermia without lots and lots of crying about how cold they are. This sounds miserable but not dangerous to me.
Anon says
I really appreciate the perspective and context Anon!! These are all really good points to consider. Not sure why this all felt really upsetting to me, but you are correct. I think I just feel general angst about the world’s babies right now, and this seemed like a random, easy place to direct my angst.
Anonymous says
Yes this
Meg says
Could you send him to a “resource” to help him prep more? I find sometimes men in my life won’t believe me but they will believe an expert. I love this site for great ideas and practical tips…
https://runwildmychild.com/camping-with-kids-guide/
Anonymous says
Unless they are going backcountry camping…they can always just get in their car and drive to a hotel or home right? I agree with above..not your clowns not your rodeo. It’s not like he’s saying he’s serving his toddlers alcohol.
GCA says
Uggggh. I have bailed (with small children) on camping trips where the forecast is 30s and rain, and I’m a pretty experienced backpacker who has, in fact, hiked 13 miles in 30s and rain in the backcountry (pre-kids)! I’m sorry your coworker is an idiot whose sh*tty risk management is going to affect his little kids. This would drive me nuts too.
Unfortunately I don’t think there’s anything you can do except hope he learns his @(#%& lesson. In the best-case and hopefully most likely scenario, they bail after a few hours when he realizes it’s zero fun. In the worst-case scenario, dude’s ego and stubbornness lead to a poor outcome – which is what happens in a lot of preventable backcountry disasters.
Anonymous says
In all likelihood the kids will fuss to much for him to let it turn into a disaster.
Anonymous says
Looking for advice. Before I had a kid, I trained myself not to do work at home (meaning not after hours). Now, with a long commute, a 15mos old who goes to bed at 7pm, and a ramping up academic physician career, I have to start doing an hour or two of work after he goes down. But. I can’t seem to. My brain is like…ugh…you’re tired and done.
Help?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Can you instead work an hour in the morning before he wakes up? Like 5-6am, so hopefully he’s not up yet! I’m much more alert in the early morning hours than in the evening. I do work after my kids are in bed, but mostly just emails and “light” stuff.
OP says
I already do that to sign notes, and I am NOT at my best in the morning, so waking up at 4am is not going to be good.
Anonymous says
This may not be helpful, but this is a big reason why I switched jobs when my kid was just a few months older than yours. I had a low sleep needs child, which translated to roughly 10-15 hours a week less “baby is asleep” time per week at 15 months, which I think really killed me when I compared my work that I “should” be able to get done at home to other moms. (It was worse during the newborn stage, when I calculated that I was on awake-baby duty approximately 35 hours per week more than if my newborn had average sleep needs.) A long commute would be similar. With the hours I was in, I I literally just couldn’t grind out the work after the baby was finally asleep. My mind and body were just done.
You don’t have a career where you can lean out a ton, but I would do so as much as possible. Is there anything you can outsource for your job that wouldn’t be weird or prohibited? Like hire a virtual personal assistant and call them your personal household manager but have them do some work stuff for you, e.g., basic emails or scheduling or whatever? (I thought about this for awhile at my old job, but there wasn’t really a good way to have an outside person handle some stuff for me without looking like I was doing some weird personally funded circumvention of my employer’s hiring process, but maybe you have more flexibility in the academic world). Basically look at ways you can buy an hour or two of time a day if you can.
Cornellian says
I find evening/night/2 AM work easier if I get a 15 minute walk in before I transition to it. So maybe baby bedtime, then dinner, then a 15 minute walk, then work at 8, for example.
rakma says
If you’re up at 4, no wonder you’re done by 7.
Can you swing a couple hours on the weekend? For me a few consecutive hours on the weekend is more productive than a late night hour or two.
rakma says
Sorry, reading comprehension fail, but still stand by the idea of extra hours on the weekend rather than at night.
Pogo says
yeah doesn’t SHUbox have like six nannies and work every day? That is my impression of what you have to do as a physician. And even more so if you teach or do research as well.
Anonymous says
Before WFH I also had a long commute. I was always too exhausted to do any work after switching into parenting mode in the evening. I would either stay at the office to finish up or turn my laptop on as soon as I walked into the house. Can you have your partner or a nanny handle kid dinner, bath, etc. so you can keep working until 6:30, then do bedtime, then have adult dinner and be done for the day?
If that doesn’t work for you and you are not a morning person, what about shifting the work you are already doing in the mornings to the evenings and sleeping later? That way you might have more energy for evening work.
Anon says
The only way I was able to do the extra hours (back when I was in litigation) was to pick a couple nights a week where DH picked up kid and dinner / bedtime routine while I put in another 3-5 hours in the office. At that time, he was also in litigation so we traded off days. It meant he and I almost never saw each other, so it wasn’t a great long-term plan which is why I moved to Gov’t and he started his own practice.
Cornellian says
I think this is smart, too. It may be easier to get 2 three hour chunks on Tuesday and Thursday then 90 minutes each day.
AwayEmily says
Yes, this is how we handle things as well. During extra busy times I stay late at the office a few times a week, and/or leave the house before the kids get up so that I get the whole morning to work.
Anon says
No advice but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I typically do have work that I need to do after my baby’s bedtime but that usually means I don’t get time to start working again until 8/8:30 pm and I’m super exhausted by then. I do let myself chill for a half hour, like have a glass of wine and watch a show and do like the easy stuff first (check email, review an easy document) and then do the hard stuff for an hour before I’m completely wipe and need to go to bed. Other times, I do just let myself fall asleep and then I wake up an hour or so later pretty refreshed and crank out an hour or two of work and then go to bed (it works for getting stuff done but I don’t like this as much since then my sleep pattern is all off but sometimes I’m just so exhausted I find just getting some sleep is more productive than trying to push my body through). And as you can see, this only allows me to do maybe an hour or 2 of work at most each night when I need like 3 or 4. Like the one other poster suggested, I’m looking for a job that won’t require intense evening work.
GCA says
I have one low-sleep-needs kid and one average-sleep-needs kid. When kid 1 was a tiny toddler, I leaned fully in to my body’s rhythms and would fall asleep putting him down at 8pm, wake up naturally at midnight or 1, do work for a couple of hours when no one was looking for me, then go back to bed (usually right after a toddler 2am wakeup) and sleep till 6 (when he got up for the day). It’s just a smidge lunatic. But perhaps, er, do as I say, not as I do. The more sensible strategy would be to pick up a half-day of work on the weekend, I think.
Cornellian says
Yup, I did a lot of that, too! Still do occasionally. My kid never slept more than 13 hours even as a newborn, and got down to 8 hours (total) around age 2. I don’t know why. It is a struggle.
EDAnon says
My job is very different from yours. That being said, I have a decent amount of…process work(?). Like I have to sign a lot of contracts that have already gone through legal. They don’t take a lot of focused energy on my part, so I set them in a folder of after hours work. I am trying to put more in that folder…