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There’s something elegant about a drapey, wide-leg pant like this one from Everlane.
This high-rise pant has practical side pockets and flattering pleats. It’s also made from a washable, lightweight, and breathable fabric. It comes in both short and regular lengths in three office-friendly colors (slate gray, sandstone, black).
Just add a tucked-in blouse or shell and you’re ready to ring in another year at the office!
Everlane’s Way-High Drape Pant is $98.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
My husband took today off to wrangle kiddo (STILL waiting for post-travel PCR to be cleared, we’re getting low on food) and got a sarky message from his boss about how we should be splitting things equally, especially as I’m away so much. Erm…not sure it’s your job to comment on our division of labour, dude. We find it easier to alternate full days and I took the December sick day. This poor husband routine is getitng old, people act like he’s widowed or I’m deployed, I’m home for 9 weeks straight and only gone for 3 nights a week during term time.
Anonymous says
That’s annoying but rather surprising. I am the one who gets all the snarky comments about parenting responsibilities (my favorite one, from a grad school professor who objected when I needed to leave a meeting to pick up my child before the university day care closed was, “Doesn’t this child have a father?”). My husband always gets praised for being such a great dad.
Anon says
Same. I still remember me and DH walking a crying infant around a mall and I got judgy comments like “you need to feed your baby” (gee thanks that hasn’t occurred to me) and he got comments about what an amazing dad he was for dealing with a screaming baby.
Anon says
Wth?! But also why in my opinion men stepping up is more important than women “leaning in.” In law school a female panelist and big law partner went on a shocking rant complaining about men taking paternity leave.
Anonymous says
I am all for men stepping up and being hands-on parents, but I am against paternity leave as currently implemented because it gets abused to keep women further behind. In academia, men use paternity leave to write articles and advance their bids for tenure, while women use maternity leave to care for children. In other sectors, women take maternity leave right after the birth of the child and spend all of it recovering from childbirth, staying up all night, and feeding the baby. Then the mom goes back to work (usually while pumping) and the dad gets to stay home having fun with a cute, interactive 4-month-old baby that he bottlefeeds and that probably sleeps a lot better than it did while mom was on maternity leave. If dads get paternity leave, they should have to use it immediately after the birth, and moms who give birth should get an additional 6 weeks for physical recovery above and beyond what non-birthing parents get.
anon says
Yes, this is a nuanced, thoughtful take. And some places where leave is very, very long I imagine must backfire sometimes. But, I’ll assure the panelist had none of that nuance and gave much more of the I-survived-it-so-all-up-and-comers-must-suck-it-up-too vibe. Ugh.
Cb says
Ugh, so true. It’s like an extended writing retreat for my male academic colleagues. We missed out by a few months on shared parental leave – I’d have loved to have my husband home with me for a month or two to help out while I recovered, and then some time on my own, some time on his own.
I keep hearing about these men starting side hustles during pat leave and I think they are missing the point.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Whereas I think dads taking paternity leave after mom is back at work is key! Learning to take care of a baby solo really sets you up for an equal parenting dynamic. I do think some time after birth is good for both parents to be there, as mom is usually recovering physically. My husband split his leave to 3 weeks after birth, and then 6-8 weeks after I went back to work. I think that worked out great for us. But yes, dads need to actually be in charge of the baby, not writing articles.
Anon says
Eh, most men aren’t in academia. My husband was a fully engaged stay at home parent during paternity leave and I’m glad we could stack our leaves.
Anonymous says
But why should he get the “easy” months of solo parenting while you got stuck with the difficult newborn stage?
Pogo says
First, he didn’t physically grow and birth a child. I needed those six weeks to lay in bed/on the couch/etc. He did overlap the first 2 weeks with me to do the heavy lifting (literally) with both kids. Second, I was b-feeding and being apart from baby is way harder than being with baby in those early days. If you formula feed maaaaybe I could see the mom goes back at 6 weeks and then takes her leave at 4months when baby is fun and cute? But to be apart from my 6 week old was a 2 hour pumping schedule of insanity that I did not want.
Also, my kids hit the 4mo sleep regression at 4 mos and I was happy to have dad handling that little cranky nap refuser while I drank my coffee hot and talked to other adults.
Anonymous says
Pogo, that’s exactly the point. Dads don’t need paternity leave the same way moms need maternity leave because they don’t grow the baby, deliver the baby, or use their bodies to feed the baby. Giving non-birthing parents the same amount of leave as birthing parents is inherently inequitable.
Anon says
They may not need the leave to physically recover but I actually think it’s important to give men the same amount of leave as women for workplace equity reasons. It’s nice to know that both men and women will be out on leave so that women aren’t dinged careerwise as potential childbearers. All the men where I work at a big US company take the full leave, though most will take two weeks when the kid is born and then stack after mom’s leave is up.
Anon says
“Men don’t need paternity leave because they don’t give birth” perpetuates the sexist stereotypes that child-caring is “women’s work,” which holds women back in the workplace. I’m appalled that a working mom would say that. And it’s also untrue – not every woman chooses to breastfeed and once the baby is out of the birth mother’s body there’s really nothing a non-birthing partner can’t do except nurse from his or her breast. I was physically recovered and ready to go back after less than two weeks (and that was a rough delivery, with a third degree) but I was glad I had 12 weeks to rest, bond with my baby and figure out how to be a parent. There’s no reason dads (and lesbian non-birth moms and adoptive parents) don’t deserve the same thing.
Anonymous says
I am not saying that men don’t need paternity leave. I am saying that people who give birth need more leave than people who don’t, and that non-birthing parents who take maternity leave should be taking it immediately upon the baby’s birth and should have to use it to care for the baby and recovering mom.
Anon says
But the argument that the non-birth parent’s leave has to be used during birth mother’s leave to take care of her is also paternalistic and sexist. I didn’t need anyone “taking care” of me for most of my maternity leave, and I was perfectly capable of taking care of my newborn by myself, just like my husband took care of the baby himself during paternity leave. If you’re talking about a 1-2 week paternity leave, I agree most couples are going to want to take it at the same time so neither of them misses the baby’s first couple weeks and the non-birth parent can help with the birth mother’s physical recovery. But many companies are starting to often much more generous paternity leave (which is a good thing!) and if the father has a month or more of leave, it is often better for everyone for him to take a large chunk of it after the mother goes back to work. The baby gets more total time at home with a parent, non-birth parent gets to develop a stronger bond with the child and hone independent parenting skills, birth mother has an easier transition back to work because she’s not leaving her baby with a stranger, and she has a period of time when she is not the “default parent” – which is often VERY good for the mother’s life and career.
The fact that some small number of men abuse this benefit does not justify taking it away from everyone, in my view. You could make the same argument about any other number of employee benefits, including remote work and unlimited sick leave. They are good policies, even if they are abused by some people.
Anonymous says
I’m guessing you didn’t have a c-section if you didn’t need anyone taking care of you after your birth. CONGRATS!
Anon says
My husband IS in academia and was our daughter’s sole caregiver for 8 months after I went back to work. It was great for our kid and their relationship, and easier on me to return to work knowing my baby was with her dad, not a stranger. Yes he got more “fun” months at home than I did, but that’s an artifact of biology and I don’t resent him for it. He more than pulled his weight during the newborn period, including waking up with me at every overnight feed. Him taking leave was a very good thing for our family. I get that some men abuse it but I don’t think that’s a reason to eliminate it.
Cb says
Yes, definitely. My husband is pretty unabashed about taking time to take care of our son, which is good for his younger employees to see modelled. His boss is a dad with two young kids, so he should know better.
Anonymous says
These trousers are a great idea, poorly executed. They look like they were home-sewn out of fabric that’s too stiff and heavy, and the seams and pleats weren’t pressed properly during the process of construction. Yet another miss for Everlane.
Anonymous says
I’ve developed some wheezing in my lungs, along with a slight cough, over the last week. I got two negative rapid COVID tests, plus I don’t think wheezing is a major symptom of COVID, so I don’t think it’s that. But the urgent care facility near me won’t accept walk-in patients with any respiratory symptoms, and directs everyone with respiratory symptoms to the COVID clinic. Should I do that? I have an appointment with my allergist (who has advised me in the past about asthma symptoms, though I don’t have an asthma diagnosis) for next Wednesday, but I’d like to get seen sooner if possible. Any suggestions appreciated.
Anonymous says
Can you see your primary care doctor or your allergist or really any doctor via telemedicine? Your health insurance company may have an arrangement with a telemedicine provider.
Anon says
Telemedicine is the answer here. I called my ped about a fairly minor issue a few weeks ago and she straight up told me not to come in because the odds of my child catching Covid in the waiting room while waiting to be seen were so high. And we’re not an NY-level hotspot.
Anonymous says
I’d avoid urgent care at all costs and contact my regular doctor. But urgent care in my area is just awful.
AnonATL says
+1. Urgent cares are taking the brunt of all the bugs (and covid) going around. My husband cut his hand this weekend and needed a few stitches. He waited 4 hours at urgent care when he can normally get in and out of that location in less than an hour.
Anonymous says
My closest urgent care is straight up closed right now due to a staffing shortage.
Anon says
Can you get a telehealth appointment through your insurance company? My son some wheezing after a non-Covid virus last month and ended up needing antibiotics to clear up the infection that had gotten into his bronchial tubes.
Anon says
This was me. I did telehealth to get an inhaler and get immediate relief. That was super simple and I got the inhaler within 2 hrs of the initial request for the appointment. I’m now a few weeks in to this illness and I really need someone to listen to my lungs. So, I’m actually waiting at my PCP’s office. They only started seeing respiratory patients in person recently. I also wouldn’t fully trust your rapid tests, though. I do think a COVID clinic isn’t necessarily the wrong place for you right now, either. I have a negative PCR from 2 days ago (and one each week since I’ve been sick). Only when I provided a copy of that to my PCP were they willing to see me in person.
Feel better – this non-COVID virus I have is relentless, going on week 4 of it.
Anon says
has anyone found k94 masks for their kids that are legit and work well? there are so many counterfeit ones out there, i find it hard to make sure that what i am ordering is reliable.
TheElms says
Many friends have masks for their kids from here that they like: https://wellbefore.com/. I’ve ordered some for my 2.5 year old and will report back when I get them.
Anon says
We order from KollecteUSA.com. My kids have worn them all school year, with multiple exposures, and not caught anything. My husband has also worn the adult version for work trips into NYC
anon says
Seconding this site, as well as behealthyusa.net. We like the Bluna ones for my kids, but have friends who swear by Blue.
NYCer says
We like the kids masks from this site as well.
OP says
Thanks for the rec. unfortunately they are sold out
anon in brooklyn says
I’ve ordered from Vida and EvolveTogether, because they have a range of colors. My kindergartener refuses to wear a mask that’s not pink or purple.
Anonymous says
On a related topic how do you get your kids to wear these?? Neither 3 year old or 6 year old will wear them. For 3 year old I’m sure it’s moot since he’s 3 and they take their masks off to eat together many times a day, for rest time, etc. but sensory 6 year old also refusing…
Anon says
My 4 year old grumbled about the KN95s hurting her ears, but we just told her that right now it’s important that she wears this better mask to protect her and others, and we promised her it won’t be forever, and she accepted it. Sadly, her reaction was much more mature than that of many adults.
Anon says
Vida
octagon says
I ordered from Vida early in the pandemic and they sent me M95s, which is not a thing. When I complained, they sent me some of their own corporate-sponsored test results but they haven’t done any tests at an independent lab. Their site says FDA Registered, which just means the FDA knows that they are making the masks. I don’t trust them to filter like other masks.
Danny says
I bought some kf94 masks here:https://www.zxmedppe.com/3d-surgical-mask/ last month. I also tested the filter performance of the masks with water. The quality is not bad. The most important thing is that they are very cheap. They generally only accept bulk orders.
anon says
For those looking for reading recs for 6ish year olds, my daughter LOVES Dragon Masters! We are reading them at night, and I think one day soon she’ll be able to read them herself. I actually like these way better than pretty much all other first chapter book series–including Zooey and Sassafras, Ivy and Bean, and Mia Mayhem. The story is pretty good and not as repetitive. We’ve only read two but I’m hoping they continue to be as good as we progress through the series.
anon says
My kids both adore Dragon Masters, to the point they asked for a Dragon Masters birthday party and we have the next books on pre-order. If you follow the author on FB she’ll run trivia contests where kids can answer questions from the books and post fan art from kids.
luluaj says
Dragon Masters books on Audible are also great.
Anon says
These are also great for kids who can start to read independently! My almost-5yo will read Dragon Masters to herself, but prefers an adult to read her Zoey and Sassafras.
As an aside, I find Z&S much less annoying to read than I&B.
anon says
If these are popular, also try Dory Fantasmagory. It often has me cracking up.
Anonymous says
We’ve read all but the most recent dragon masters and both my six year old and I have loved them all. While waiting for the newest at the library, we’ve read the first book in the Last Firehawk series (not quite as good IMO but better than magic treehouse) and the first four Desmond Cole Ghost Patrol (we both liked these, first one started off pretty spooky but wasn’t too much). The author of dragon masters, Tracy west, has a long list on her Facebook page of books similar to her series that kids may like, too.
SC says
Dragon Masters was a huge hit with my 6 year old too! We read all of them in just a couple of months! Kiddo also received a Lego water dragon and Lego fire dragon (officially Ninjago, unofficially Dragon Masters at our house) for Christmas.
Mm says
Suggestions on potty training resistance from a tired and boundary testing toddler pre- and post-daycare? We went through Oh Crap over the break and it seemed to work beautifully. Of course it was a little too good to be true. Now, getting back to our normal routine and LO is resisting sitting on the potty at all (we don’t ask but tell it’s time and try to work it into transitions).
anon says
No suggestions but in the same boat! Argh.
AwayEmily says
When ours resisted (for poop) the only thing that worked was to completely and utterly not care (or at least, convincingly ACT like we didn’t care). Our go-to line was “we trust you to go to the potty when you are ready.” Then we would ignore all signs she had to go and basically let her do her thing. I will caveat that this DID result in more accidents for a few days (including a horrific poop on our bed), but eventually taking the pressure off made a huge difference.
anon says
Our daycare did potty buddies. Basically they paired up the kids and anytime one kid went to the potty, the other kid had to try. It was really positive peer pressure and helped keep our newly trained kid from forgetting.
We also created a rule that we had to try to potty before we left the house and when we got home–every time. Plus other transitions, such as waking up, before bed, etc. It helped if I went too so it was a group activity.
Anne says
We were in the exact same scenario and moved from Oh Crap to skittle bribes and that did it.
CCLA says
I bribed big time. After a day of m and ms not cutting it, I pulled out a full size Lindt bar and said you can have this if you poop in the potty. Several months later she still talks about the giant chocolate bar…and somehow it didn’t get into her head to keep asking for treats, we bribed the first few times then it stuck. Also she didn’t eat the whole thing – but she loved the idea that I said she could. She is more bribable than our oldest though, who didn’t really get it until poop ended up on the floor and she witnessed how much of a mess it was. No fun, and there was some yelling from me that I’m not proud of, but it was effective, though of course not planned.
anon says
My dumb question to start off the new year: when potty training boys, do they sit down to pee? My husband and I are baffled by this! What do we do?! :)
Cb says
My son does, I think it might be hard to aim?
Anonymous says
Omg Omg yes they sit down. Can you imagine a toddler empowered to stand up and direct his pee? Don’t encourage a gross mess.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, that’s what we did to start potty training. My older son started standing up at around 3.5/4 I think (likely daycare influence) and my younger one (3) still sits.
Spirograph says
I’m still annoyed that my husband told my sons they could stand to pee. They are 8 and 5 and have terrible aim. Have him sit as long as you can! He can either sit backward on the toilet, or sit forwards but be sure to point down either way.
FVNC says
+1,000,000,000,000,000
In our case it was the rascals at daycare he learned it from, dang it!
Anon says
I assume your husband is the one cleaning up the mess….
Spirograph says
Nah, the kids are. :D
My daughter’s even gotten in on it: “Booooooys! Whoever used the bathroom last needs to come clean this up! It’s disGUSting!”
Pogo says
Yes, mine started by sitting because we used the little potty and it definitely doesn’t make sense to stand into that. He still sits some of the time.
Anon says
We let our son stand to pee. When he thinks it’s fun to pee in the floor I make him help clean it up (almost 4 now). He was difficult to potty train so forcing him to sit to pee was not worth it.
Lyssa says
Sitting made the most sense to us, and I think it’s the norm. After I think 6 months or so, my husband taught him to stand.
Funny aside -my son is 2.5 years older then my daughter, and still seemed to remember potty training when it was her turn. He was so encouraging to her, kept saying he was proud of her for getting it. So cute. One day, after she’d started going pretty regularly, he confidently announced that tomorrow could be a really special day for her, because that was when she was ready to learn to stand up to pee.
Anon says
LOL!
DLC says
Not a dumb question! I wondered the same thing for a long time too.
My husband refuses to let our four year old stand up to pee until his p*nis can clear the toilet bowl. He says when kiddo is tall enough, they will do the “Cheerios in toilet bowl” method of teaching him to aim.
We did teach him to pee standing up when he needs to pee in the woods, though.
Anonymous says
Honestly there hasn’t been any need for training to pee in the bowl. Both kids got it immediately closer to age 3. Hoping that’s not inadvertent humble bragging! But meant in a reassuring way it can be a total non issue.
Anonymous says
Sat down for the first week or so, mostly standing up after that for both boys. But we also trained on the late side and have very tall children.
Anonymous says
And I forgot, our older boy stood on a stool the first 6-12 months.
Anonymous says
I have girls but frequently babysit my preschool nephews. It would never even occur to me that a kid that little could pee standing up.
HSAL says
This also threw me. My son was on the late side before he was even willing to try to go regularly and daycare tried both ways to see if he had more success one way, so he’s been a stander since he was barely 3, though he’ll go when he sits for #2. Aim was honestly only a problem for a couple weeks but he’s on the tall side.
Anonymous says
Annnd my son’s daycare class had a positive COVID case, so there goes childcare for the week.
Sympathy says
Sorry! Fingers crossed you can get your child tested, etc. I’m sure everyone on this site with kids in daycare will go through this at least once this winter.
lawsuited says
+1 Assuming you mean at least once a month this winter :P
Pogo says
thoughts & prayers. I’m just holding my breath, another classroom at the center closed already this week.
anon says
My daughter hasn’t started daycare yet. Was it always the policy of daycares that if any child was sick with anything, the whole classroom shut down? Or is this specifically for Covid? If so, why? Like, I don’t want my kid getting RSV and that’s contagious too, but it seems like these shut downs are for Covid only?
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’ve never had the whole class shut down for anything other than Covid. Before, it was typically if kid has a fever, they’re out until fever free for 24 hours. I think some may have had some policies on RSV (likely limited to just keeping kid out for longer) but not for the whole class. Yes, kids spread germs in daycares like wildfire. That’s the cost of going to daycare. Covid is new so they have to follow state guidelines, and there was a lot we didn’t know about it.
Cb says
I think if there are a certain % of cases of norovirus, they’ll shut down. Mostly because it’s so contagious and staff drop like flies – and horrifying.
Anonymous says
In 5 years our day care never shut down or closed classrooms for any health-related reason, and we went through numerous rounds of norovirus.
Anon says
The only other thing I’ve had a daycare class shut down for was HFM and that was just so that they could clean, rather than to avoid passing it to other kids. (Within 24 hours after shutting the classroom all 6 babies had HFM symptoms, so it’s not like they would have been going back in anyway.)
EDAnon says
I have had them close earlier to clean pre-COVID.
Anon says
My daycare shut once for RSV. But it was >50% of the kids and staff getting RSV at once. They didn’t shut a class because of a single RSV case.
Pogo says
We had some classrooms close for RSV recently, and in the past as well. It is very scary in infants and I would not want my child to get it under the age of 1, so closing infant rooms for sure seems very fair.
I recall in the past K-12 schools closing for flu and sleepaway camps closing for norovirus – basically when it was rampant and taking over.
Anonymous says
The “why” is the risk to the community- diseases like RSV are not as dangerous to parents/grandparents/teachers. I have definitely heard of classes closed for significant RSV, flu, or norovirus outbreaks (even in elementary).
SC says
My son’s daycare, which was attached to a school, shut down for an outbreak of whooping cough in the spring of 2019. In that case, the outbreak started in the 3rd/4th grade classrooms, and they closed the entire school for the last 2 weeks of the schoolyear once it started spreading to other classrooms.
Anonymous says
We’ve had one class at daycare shut down already, and we got a message last night that my kiddo was a contact of a contact on Monday – likely a floater who was in the class that shut down. I’m not too worried because Monday was the first day back after break, so that floater wouldn’t have been contagious the same day she was exposed. They’re already short staffed because of teachers/teacher family members with covid plus the local public schools went virtual at the last minute this week, so a lot of teachers who would’ve been able to be there had to scramble for their own childcare.
I’d honestly prefer things to be shut down because of staffing issues – at least we can call in the grandparents for that.
Anon says
I’ve never turned to internet strangers for big life advice before, but I know this group is wise and thoughtful and smart and I need help. I’m a biglaw partner miserable at work and considering quitting. I have two young kids (ages 3 & 6) and I feel like am missing the best/most fun years of their lives. My husband also has a very demanding job and the unpredictability of our work lives is really taking a toll on our family; I am at my breaking point and have been for awhile.
I already have a reduced hours / “part time” schedule, but it’s still a lot of hours and I can’t control them. There is nothing more I can do to make my work schedule better at my firm. An in-house opportunity came along recently, and while it seems like a great job on paper, the prospect of pursuing it filled me with dread. That made me feel like maybe I just don’t want to work at all, or at least not as a lawyer? I know plenty of in-house lawyers with very demanding jobs, so I am not convinced that going in-house is the solution.
I am at a point where I feel like I want to just quit my job and work not at all, or, if such a job existed, work 20-25 hours a week just to have something to do outside of my house. I don’t care about prestige and I don’t care about money. We could live comfortably on my husband’s salary. I just want to have a nice life and I am fantasizing about what it would be like to not work — I’m imagining volunteering at my kids’ school, helping out at an organization that means a lot to me, working in my garden, creative pursuits that I have long neglected and feel bitter about. Am I losing my mind? I am coming off of a rough December work-wise, plus pandemic-driven logistical chaos, and maybe my gut can’t be trusted right now.
Basically I am sick of grinding it out and making life harder than it needs to be. I keep feeling like I am going to look back on my life as an old lady and wonder why I didn’t quit sooner and have more fun.
Anonymous says
Why are you making this much drama over it? You’re burned out and you can afford to quit and you should be able to get hired again even with a gap. Quit today if you want!
Anonymous says
I work in a firm of about 30 attorneys in the Midwest. I recommend it. I’ve never been in BigLaw, but from what I gather, being a lawyer (1) at a small firm (although in my area, 30 attorneys is not small), and (2) outside of a major city is a very different job than what you have. I understand that you might have geographic constraints. I don’t know what type of law you practice, but I’ll tell you that nearly all firms in the Midwest would give about anything for corporate attorneys. They all get snatched up by inhouse positions, and there is a huge shortage of experienced corporate attorneys who want to be in firms.
anon says
You sound burnt out. I have kids a couple of years older and moved in house a few years ago. It’s not perfect, but it’s a million times better than when I was in BigLaw with little ones. I still get to do interesting legal work, but have complete control over my schedule and virtually never work on weekends. We also get a solid shutdown at the holidays and respect vacations, unlike BigLaw, so I get a real chance to recharge. It helps that I feel strongly about what my company is trying to accomplish and appreciate contributing to their mission–I never had that when I was external counsel. I have built good relationships with the business and they appreciate what I do, so working with colleagues is typically a pleasure. My kids are also older and easier. I even have time to lead kid activities and volunteer on the side.
Before you throw in the towel completely, I’d try an in house opportunity. I’d also carefully consider whether your childcare is meeting your needs. We have an au pair and it has worked out to be incredibly consistent childcare during the pandemic. I get to spend the morning having a quiet cup of coffee and then breakfast with my kids while she helps with the chores of packing lunches and hair brushing and tooth brushing, etc. We did daycare previously and my days always started and ended in a rush, which was tough on both me and the kids.
If you do switch jobs, schedule a solid month between ending and starting. Use that time to relax and recharge.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I think there is a world of difference between Biglaw Partner and pretty much all other jobs, including a lot of legal jobs. In house isn’t always a strict 9-5 with no extra time, depending on where you work, but I think it’s still a lot better and more predictable than Biglaw. Definitely try another job before you quit entirely.
Anon says
+1 I’m in in house and it’s very pleasant. Just think about not having to bill your time! I’d suggest pursuing one of those roles first.
But also, I’m considering quitting (we have four kids six and under and with or without covid it’s… a lot). DH makes significantly more than me and keeps asking why I’m tying myself into knots arranging carpools and activity pickups when I could just quit. Or even why I’m stressing about work. It’s something I’ve considered! I think my pride is what’s holding me back the most tbh.
Anon says
In your case if you like working, throw more money at some of the problems and try (easier said than done) to stop stressing about work
anne-on says
+1 to making sure your childcare is meeting your needs AND to throwing money at help for errands/chores so that any time off is quality time, not grocery shopping/laundry/cleaning the house time.
So Anon says
Also in house after prior biglaw time (though not as a partner), and it is so much better. While not all in house gigs are solely 9-5, I appreciate that if I need to work later, it is because there is a genuine need at my company. When those moments hit, I have insight into what is going on and am generally providing the legal advice to people who are going to immediately take it and put it into action.
I will also be the voice of caution. I 100% support finding another gig. However, as someone who unexpectedly got divorced several years ago, I am so grateful that I could support myself and my kids on my own. I will always caution against becoming entirely financially dependent on another person, even though I know it is not always a popular opinion.
Anon says
I think that’s always a good caution! I’m the poster who also said she’s considered staying at home right now and I’ve already discussed signing a post-nup with Dh in that case. I know the rules around them vary state to state but negotiating it ahead of time when we’re in a loving place just seems like a small protective step I could take. Not sure if others have done this? I’d be curious.
So Anon says
Something to think about: If the post-nup provides that your DH will continue to support you in the event of a divorce, then you will be financially dependent on that person. What happens if the income earner goes from a six figure professional job to an hourly grocery store clerk? That is exactly what happened to my ex. I could have argued that he had/has capacity to earn more and thus must pay support based on an imputed higher income, but it would have required extensive and expensive litigation, he does not have the money, and I can support myself and my kids. This situation is not entirely unique because the “crisis” that precipitates the divorce can also lead to a change in employment.
Anonymous says
” I am at my breaking point and have been for awhile.”
How long is “awhile”? a year or two? Before the pandemic? A month or two?
Honestly, work and a career isn’t something to break yourself over, when you have options. And you have options.
Here’s permission from one internet stranger not to be an Achiever.
Add-on permission to reinvent yourself, to be mediocre, to be a woman with a breaking point, to be a woman whose priorities shift as her life changes, etc.
Add-on permission also to be affected by the pandemic, to not have your **** together all the time, to not be the Strong One who Always Pulls Through, and to get the help you need.
Anon says
Love this.
Mm says
Not the OP but thanks for this. Such good advice for these times.
Spirograph says
+a million to this. I still need to remind myself sometimes that it’s OK to say no, or be ok with the bare minimum, but my life has been much better since I decided I’m not an Achiever anymore.
OP, I agree with others that you sound burnt out and I would try a scaled back job before SAHM (personally, SAHM life sounds much harder to me than a chill job). Or maybe just quit, and pick a date a few months from now to decide whether to start looking or not. Short breaks in work history are pretty normal right now, so I don’t think that would impact your ability to re-enter if that’s what feels right.
OP says
Ok this made me cry (in a good way). Thank you, internet stranger :)
anon says
A few things – you might want to look at reddit chubby fire to get some perspective on this too. You might find it reassuring about quitting. I actually am going to post below about some advice I need for something similar. But, I’ll say this- I am an attorney who previously was very stressed about work — the second it went over 40 hours it became such a burden. Based on workload, when I came back from maternity leave during covid and did 3 days/week it was very stressful and did not stick to 3 days a week. Now my workload is much less for many reasons, and it’s so much better. I’m not anxious about work calls or getting “behind” when I take an hour for a medical appointment (how insane is that?!). I’m going to end up taking a big paycut, but at this point I’m willing to because DH has a more demanding job, with travel, that he likes more so we can afford it.
Anon says
I would quit in a heartbeat if my husband made more money. I’m pretty successful and I just don’t care about my job anymore – I feel like I don’t need to prove anything. One of my friends is a stay at home mom and she’s PTA president, actively involved in local charities, etc. It seems wonderful.
Anon says
I say this so lovingly: but do you actually want to be a stay at home mom or do you just not want your current job? I’ll fantasize about quitting my job sometimes, but then I’ll spend a week with my baby girl. I love her more than life itself, but jeez, I am not a stay at home mama.
EB says
I think this is a HUGE part of it. Having just spent a week and a half caring for my two kids over the holidays, I can confidently say that I would NOT be my best person if I was a primary caregiver for them. Although I might like it more once they are in school, which yours kind of are?
I am curious what your practice area is and whether it could easily be transferred to either a smaller firm or a solo practice. For example, I am a management-side employment lawyer – if I wanted to, I could start a very successful solo practice working part time with minimal overhead. I once had a mentor who had done the same, and she explained some of the numbers to me in a way that made it look very attractive. However, I love working with others and love my firm, so I know it’s not for me. But I use this to illustrate what others have said – there are other options beyond big law partner and in-house that may be very attractive to you.
anon says
So I have an 18-month old and two elementary-aged stepchildren, and I left my biglaw partner gig for an in-house job about a year ago. I have never regretted it. In my view, nothing I do in my career will ever be as important as raising my children and I was very, very willing to prioritize that over my job. (I should note – this isn’t gendered. I also think my husband’s role as a father is more important than his role as a biglaw partner. But I’m like Wendell Berry in this regard; I think the home is far more valuable and important than the market economy and participating in wage labor isn’t more dignified or important than working in the home.) If I ever feel like my current (far less demanding, although IMO more interesting) in-house job impairs my ability to be the mother I want to be, then I’ll find another job or stop working outside the home for some period (although I think the latter is less likely for a variety of reasons). I’m fortunate to be financially able to prioritize my mothering if that’s what I choose to do – but it sounds like you’re in that position too.
I think you owe it to yourself to think very hard about what’s the most important to you. Any way you can put in minimal effort for 4-6 weeks to allow your head to clear, so you can think through what might be burnout vs. a shift in your priorities? If continuing to practice is important to you, you can figure out what aspects of it mattter the most, and think creatively about all the options that might be on the table for providing that fulfillment to you. If you find that you’re thinking very seriously about not working outside the home for a while, maybe you can talk to some SAHM friends/acquaintances about what their experiences have been in transitioning away from paid work – what’s been hard, what’s been surprising, etc.
You might also find it helpful to work through the exercises in Designing Your Life. When I did that, it became clear to me that what I valued in life (family, religious faith, serving my community) was very different than what the life I was living valued (billing hours, making lots of money, professional status). That realization has driven a lot of my subsequent choices.
NYCer says
I think this is all very good advice.
OP – If I were you, I would probably take the 4-6 weeks that this anon suggested to think through your priorities, etc. and then quit at the end of that time frame if you still think that sounds appealing. Take some time off and then when you’re ready, really focus on finding a part time job (like what ifiknew said below). As a former big law partner, you will be able to find another job with a gap in your resume, especially given Covid.
OP says
Yes, I think I do need to undertake the reflection you’re describing here. Thank you!
anon says
As someone who tried to do this, I will say that I found it really hard to have an even perspective when I was still under the pressure of BigLaw and grinding it out with small kids. I stepped back to an in house role and it took me nearly two years to decompress to being a normal person again. I was just so burnt out that I was ready to burn. it. all. down. In my head that seemed like the only option given the constant pressure. I’m in a much better place now.
Don’t be afraid to take an interim step to give yourself time to think. You can always move to SAH if the interim job isn’t enough. The job market is pretty good right now, but I think it’s still true that it’s easier to find a job when you already have a job.
Mary Moo Cow says
You do sound burnt out. I sympathize; my kids are about the same ages and it is only in the last 18 months that I’ve really wished to quit and stay home or find a part-time job. I echo what others have said: this stranger gives you permission to lean out because the heart wants what the heart wants. If you can financially swing it, I would go for the in-house opportunity with the “try it” mindset, look for part-time work, or just resign and take some time to think about what you might want.
Ifiknew says
I left a job like this in “big finance” to work 20-25 hours for a small finance firm and it is truly perfect. I work 9-2 and mostly from home and it’s just been incredible. I’m so glad I tried this before throwing in the towel completely. I just told everyone in my network that I wad looking for part time only, I’d try hard to find what you want. I know some contract type attorneys that work a minimum number of hours if you want to just keep one foot in the door for future optionality. That’s why I work but I consider myself a 80% sahm.
Anonymous says
My big caveat is that I am not a lawyer, so take this all with a grain of salt. I lost my job in March of 2021 and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I was juggling unrealistic expectations from my employer (wanting me to work weekends), day care closures, kid illnesses, husband’s schedule: it all just felt like too much. I’m not very career driven, so I absolutely don’t regret not taking another mediocre, high paying job. The hardest thing for me hasn’t been having to do my own housekeeping or more childcare or meal planning; it’s been the self-imposed guilt that I’m not “contributing” to the family budget. We can live comfortably off my husband’s salary, and we do! If you can let go of that guilt (preaching to myself here), I personally think opting out is worth it. My kids are 4, 10 months and 10 months.
HSAL says
I also have a 6 and two 3s. When the twins were around 1 I left a government job I loved for a part-time job at a small firm. Which I hated. So when my oldest started K this year I put the twins in a part-time preschool (they were all in daycare from birth) and I quit. Zero regrets. While I do agree with the person cautioning against whether you want to be a SAHM mom or whether you just don’t want to work, I admit for me it was 25/75. But still, I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed it. Shortly before I decided to quit I interviewed for a job I knew I would love, but realized I didn’t want to work full-time again. I’ll probably get a random part-time job I enjoy after the twins go to K, but I’m really happy not working right now.
Anon says
i remember when you were deciding to take the firm job and you were so excited about it. i’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. but glad your current situation is working out well.
OP says
Wow, thank you for all of these responses, I truly appreciate it and have read (and re-read) each of them!
Anonymous says
I would consider another job, probably part time or contract, first. I got laid off in 2016 and moved to contract work because I was in a similar situation where we didn’t need two incomes.
I gross about 90k/year doing contract work. It covers childcare, retirement contributions, and our vacation fund. It also keeps me plugged into my industry and able to step back in more or less where I stepped out (sr director/VP). Every year or so I’ll interview for a role. They’ll offer me $250-300k, it will sound nice h til DH’s next I talk it through and laugh. The extra pretax $150-$200k is not something we need or want and taking it and working hard again would be so disruptive to our lifestyle right now. I took the entire summer off!
We could work harder now and retire early, but we are enjoying the “golden age” with our kids now. They are 4,7, and 9.
Anonymous says
Hello! I left my career 3 years ago to become a SAHM. My husband has a demanding job with very early/late hours and basically we needed someone home. And I wanted to stay home. We have a 2.5yo and almost 5yo. I DO love my life and spending so much time with our children, but I have almost no time for all of the things you imagined yourself doing – creative pursuits, working out, gardening (unless you count my kids picking carrots way before they’re ripe), etc…I’d need childcare for these things! Maybe if both kids are in school? All I’m saying is it may not be exactly what you imagine. But I’ll list the benefits I find below:
– Time outside with my children. We are outdoors A LOT and go on a lot of local adventures. Although I don’t have time for exercise outside the home, I am active with my kids and we hike a fair bit. I feel much better physically than when I was working. We couldn’t do everything we do if we were limited to weekends. We get to go on field trips when places are less crowded.
– A slower paced and relaxed lifestyle. Our days are structured around me and my kids energy levels. No more powering through anything to get to work/drop kids off at daycare
– I cook 95% of our meals and try to involve kids in meal prep/baking
– we have built a good community of friends and support with other stay at home parents
– Lastly, and it sounds annoying, but I do get some magical moments with my children. I really enjoy being there for everything, even if there are some very stressful and tiring moments/days
Anon says
It’s amazing how the pandemic has shifted this board’s perspective. In year’s past when someone would bring up a question like this, everyone would pile on saying, ohhh what if you get divorced or your spouse dies or gets disabled, or saying ohhhhh you will have such a hard time getting back into your career and you won’t be as marketable in the future with a resume gap and you will regret it so much. People used to focus solely on the risks of a one income household rather than any of the benefits. It’s refreshing to see a new outlook here but maybe it helps that it is a candidate’s job market now too.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Well I think most of us are saying not to quit outright, but to instead find a different job/lower stress job. I do think all of those risks are still very real. During the pandemic, I think a lot of parents (mostly moms) end having to quit, not necessarily by choice, because there just aren’t good or safe childcare options and that will be really bad for women in the workplace.
Honestly, I think workers in general in the U.S. and certain fields like law/business/finance work too much and BOTH parents should scale back and find better jobs. Your husband’s long hours and travel shouldn’t just be your problem to solve, you know?
Anonymous says
Yes, thank you. I was completely vilified when I brought up leaving my job 3yrs ago. The advice basically was “Dont!” Or “you’re husbands going to cheat on you and you’ll be left penniless”. No consideration of what was best for me and my family.
Anon says
Apply for the in-house job and take it if offered, obviously. I say “obviously” because if you are seriously considering quitting entirely and being a SAHM, there is zero risk to trying the in-house route. If you like it, you have a job that you like! If you still have the same desire to quit working, you can (drumroll) quit the in-house job.
I strongly suggest against leaving the workforce entirely. It’s harder to get back in once you do, if not almost impossible. Husbands can pass away, have affairs, become disabled, or lose their jobs. Your career is an insurance policy. It’s also a very good example for your children… you would be surprised, and saddened, by the ways in which people even in 2022 think women belong at home.
Anon says
Lol and here comes the what-if brigade from years of old… see the comment at 2:39.
Anon says
Perhaps instead of being rude to me, you should explain why you think the pandemic has changed life so much that anyone can guarantee that their husband will have good health, a smooth career, and no stress from being the sole breadwinner. The current employment market will not last forever, and the pandemic has proved that disasters happen, not that they don’t!
There was a very good comment at 12:01 about a woman who got divorced and needed to support herself. Also consider the comment about how the husband’s long hours are something that he may need to fix, rather than having her quit her job.
You’re also all ignoring the stress element. Quitting may not make the OP less stressed; with a job like the one her husband has, she’s functionally doing the single parent thing. Her husband may be extremely stressed as the sole breadwinner. Not everyone is cut out for that life.
Anon says
Dear dour lawyer lady, some people want to live there lives without assuming at all times that the worst possible outcome will happen to them. Maybe their risk-benefit analysis uses a different algorithm than yours does, hmmm k? Maybe their values are different too, I know, the sheer audacity!
Anon Lawyer says
I mean if you ask for advice you’re asking other people for their risk benefit analysis. I might well quit too if I had the option but it’s not unfair for this perspective to be put out there. And preparing for bad outcomes doesn’t mean you’re “assuming” them.
Anon says
HAHAHA, good luck with life if you think having a back-up plan is “dour.”
Annie says
I rarely chime in on these threads, but I wanted to add my experience: my previously healthy, fit, active husband was diagnosed with a progressive, chronic illness roughly 2 years ago that has impacted his ability to work full time. We never could have seen it coming. I am so grateful to be able to support our family this past year and going forward, where his ability to work full time or at all are very much in question.
I think people get defensive about these “you shouldn’t quit” statements because they read it as an indictment on their marriage – i.e., your husband might cheat on you. That’s definitely possible. But I’m offering my experience for consideration because there’s no ill-will or blame or guilt or anything anyone could have done differently. We all think this won’t happen to us. Until one day it does.
Anon says
+1 I know someone in the same exact situation. I would only quit my job if I had independent funds that set me up for life. And that’s not because I fear my husband will cheat on me (I can’t imagine that), but just because you never know what will happen to someone’s health or ability to work, and having only one member of a couple in the workforce is inherently risky. I do agree with the advice about leaning out and getting a lower paying job with much better hours. That’s so much less risky than stepping out of the workforce completely because 1) you still have some income and 2) if you decide you need more income it’s much easier to “lean in” and get a new job if you already have a job.
Celia says
OP, we may be the same person except my kids are 2 years younger and I have not yet but am considering going part time at my biglaw person job. I have no advice; I just felt everything you said in my bones. I recently applied to and found out today I did not get a job that would have been my field and an actual 9-5 and I am beyond crushed and depressed that I can’t escape my job. My husband doesn’t make much so we could not live comfortably in our city on his salary alone. I just feel defeated.
Tired says
I am so very over the Chicago Teachers’ Union. I assumed we would have closures and periods of quarantine, but I was hoping it would not be because of political antics by the Union. This is the third year in a row that kids’ school is disrupted by this Union.
Anonymous says
OTOH, I wish our teachers’ union would go on strike to insist on proper ventilation and masking in schools. Our kids go back tomorrow, so by the weekend our whole family will have COVID.
Pogo says
Are there still places that don’t require masks indoors?! This continues to baffle me.
Anon says
yes, MANY places. my colleague’s daughter is at a private school that won’t institute a mask policy. her daughter is now vaccinated, but my colleague is furious. for a variety of reasons her daughter cannot just switch schools right now. also, in many states, Colleges aren’t allowed to require vaccines or masks
Anonymous says
Pretty much the entire country doesn’t require masks indoors, outside of very blue areas.
Anon says
There’s nowhere in my state except our daycare where masks are required indoors. That’s why we don’t go anywhere. I’m so jealous of everyone who can pop into Target or the library and know that almost everyone will be masked.
Pogo says
Wow, thanks, checking my elite coastal city privilege. It’s all masked all the time here – schools, daycares, library, target, whole foods, my office… ok those are the only places I go. But still.
Anon says
And this is why i miss living in one of those places!!!
Anonymous says
Anon at 11:59, same here. I am just about ready to trade in my easy MCOL SEUS lifestyle, where I can afford a house and never get stuck in traffic and can always find a parking space at Trader Joe’s, for the expense and hassle of living in the Northeast again.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Pogo, you’re great!
Chiming in. I do not miss living in my HCOL/East Coast/Blue city/Echo chamber…except for the fact that they have masking compliance/mandates! I mean, the option to safely mask up and get a mani/pedi sounds so awesome right now…among other things, of course.
Anon says
I live in a blue county (college town) in a very red state and we had a countywide mask mandate until May 2021 when the CDC made their stupid guidance that vaccinated people didn’t need to mask in public. DH and I had gotten fully vaccinated in April. So we got one month of semi-normalcy where we felt comfortable going back in public, and then back to basically total lockdown. Our daycare and public schools require masks because of kids not being vaccine eligible at the beginning of this year and I have one beloved local bookstore that still requires everyone to wear them, but nowhere else that I know of.
On the plus side, our public schools never closed except for March-May 2020, and it would take a lot to close them. I would take schools being consistently open over a countywide mask mandate, although in a perfect world we would have both.
Anonymous says
In a surge I don’t think you can keep schools open without a mask mandate.
Anon says
I’m not sure if you’re responding to me at 12:52 but our public schools do all have a mask mandate. Our district chose to do it and other local districts were forced into it by the state health dept, which has much stricter quarantine rules if one or both contacts are not masked. All districts in our county implemented masks a couple weeks into the school year when the number of students and teachers in quarantine became very burdensome (this was during the Delta surge).
Anonymous says
We went skiing in VT over winter break. Masks were recommended indoors, but fewer than half of people wore them. Then at ski school drop off, I got to chatting with a couple other masked parents… come to find out we all live in the DC suburbs and had brought our blue bubble norms with us.
It was really interesting to see how the masking percentage changed as we stopped in various communities along the drive.
Anon says
Pogo, I think you’re in MA (I am, too). There are lots of places here that don’t require indoors. Thankfully people are willing to do it on their own – Target near me is probably 75% masked these days – but tons and tons of places do not have the hard requirement. I think Belmont, maybe Somerville and a few other communities have a town-wide mandate. Boston’s is about to kick in on Jan 15, but the vast majority of the state does not truly require it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This may cause me to be flamed but I’ve been reading a lot that Omicron really is supposed to be milder. While I understand that the elderly and immunocompromised are still at higher risk of hospitalization/death, as well as unvaccinated adults, I don’t think the danger they’re claiming is the same as it was say in March 2020, or during the 2020-2021 school year when a lot of people were unvaccinated. Vaccines do work! Yes, this virus is contagious, but I really think they should do whatever they can to keep schools open, given all the evidence we have now, and with school kids eligible for vaccines.
Anon says
i agree, but vaccines also work better when everyone gets them and they aren’t required for kids by any schools as far as i know, which in some ways feels unfair. why should the teachers be required to get vaccinated if eligible students aren’t? (trust me i am very glad that teachers are required to be vaccinated in some cities)
Anonymous says
First, I am pro-vaccine, and my child is vaccinated. But my opinion is that requiring this vaccine for students probably isn’t the best on the whole for kids. It has been so politicized (and I blame both sides of the political spectrum for that), that people are taking frustrating positions. I think if public schools required vaccines for kids, a bunch of parents would keep their kids home. And given how the virus is milder for kids, that probably isn’t the best outcome for all kids as a whole taking into account all facets of health and development. Just my two cents. I know others will disagree.
Anonymous says
If antivaxx parents were forced to keep their kids home, 99% of them would change their minds and have their kids vaxxed.
Anonymous says
No, they’d sue and the requirement would be stayed pending lengthy litigation.
Anonymous says
Anecdata, but my SIL’s family were anti-vaxxers before covid was cool. They only got their kids vaccinated against any childhood illnesses when California removed personal belief exemptions a few years back. I do think many, many parents would get over their personal beliefs against vaccines if they were faced with losing access to public school.
Anonymous says
Touche.
Anonymous says
Obviously this is very different than a public school district, but the private religious school where my spouse teaches and my kids attend DOES require vax for all eligible. It’s been such a relief for my spouse’s own safety this year (and kids but they just became eligible so less impact for them so far- spouse has been teaching all vaxxed classes all year).
Anonymous says
No flames from me. I’m 90% sure I had omicron over winter break, and it was a big nothingburger. Vaxxed and boosted, I was a little tired and sore + had a cough for a day, then had a bit of stuffiness and congestion for a couple days after. I’ve worked through colds when I felt worse than that. I have a lot of empathy for parents of kids under 5 and people who are immunocompromised, and understand that their risk calculus may be different, but at this point I don’t see any excuse to close elementary schools. Vaccines are available, and if people choose not to get vaxxed, that’s on them.
Anonymous says
No, if people choose not to get vaxxed, they are still spreading COVID to my vaxxed family. It’s not fair to ask me and my kids to suffer even a mild case of COVID just to protect others’ “freedom” to be selfish. The unvaxxed should have to stay home until they get with the program.
Anon says
That’s extreme…vaccinated people are spreading it, too. Omicron also didn’t arise because of unvaccinated people in the US, so it’d likely be here no matter what. My family is as vaccinated as we can be and I’m all for quarantines and consequences for the willfully unvaxxed (maybe hit them with insurance denials?) but we do need to figure out a way to live with this.
Anon says
Yeah my triple-vaxxed in-laws spread it among themselves over Christmas. Friend had a triple vaxxed party and someone there spread it to a bunch of people. It’s definitely no longer most or even the majority of infections being spread by the unvaccinated. I am angry at them too, but Omicron would be a big problem even if 100% of adults in the US were vaccinated. Look at what is happening in 100% vaccinated bubbles like the Cornell campus.
Anonymous says
K, but I live in reality. We have accepted colds as a fact of life, we have accepted the flu (and vax rates for that are terrible) absent a bad outbreak in a particular school or office building. We need to accept covid, too. You can stay home forever, but vaccines and PPE are both very effective and it’s not irrational that millions of people are over it. At a population level, the detrimental effects of school closures are much worse than long covid.
Anonymous says
I think we need to reevaluate our acceptance of the flu and other illnesses as well. So much suffering and lost economic productivity could be prevented by requiring schoolkids to be vaccinated against flu, improving ventilation in schools and workplaces, normalizing staying home when sick, revising school attendance policies to remove the incentive for parents to send sick kids to school, and widespread masking in crowded spaces during cold and flu season. Better infection control measures in schools and workplaces would especially benefit working moms, who even before COVID were mostly the ones who got stuck staying home with sick kids. There is no rational reason why we should be allowing norovirus, strep, the flu, RSV, and other illnesses to spread the way they do in our schools every year.
Anon says
Vaccinated people spread COVID too. Stop blaming people around you for how scared and hurt you are.
Anonymous says
OMFG, because vaccinated people can catch and spread the disease at a lower rate than the unvaccinated, that’s a reason not to require vaccination? OK, Karen.
Anonymous says
But we do not know much about long COVID with Omicron yet. For middle-aged and younger people of normal weight, death has never been the real concern–it’s the high rate of long-term sequelae. If you are counting on vaccines, middle and high school students are not yet eligible for boosters. With any luck boosters will be authorized today so kids will get shots over the weekend and be protected by the end of January. But even with boosters, the impact of vaccines will be limited without mandates. I don’t think it’s fair to ask my vaccinated child, or a vaccinated teacher, to spend 7 hours a day in a classroom full of unvaccinated students, or to eat lunch in a cafeteria with hundreds of unvaccinated kids, during a surge. Let the irresponsible parents who don’t vaccinate their kids reap the consequences and deal with distance learning instead of inflicting it on the rest of us.
Anonymous says
If I didn’t have a kid <5 and too young to wear a mask, I would agree with you 100%. However, the messaging has turned into, if you're vaxxed and boosted, you can resume all pre-pandemic activities, it's like a normal cold for you. For my family, if (when) my kid brings covid home from daycare, it's a mandatory 10-day isolation period (plus longer if tests are still coming back positive), plus then quarantine after that if either of the adults gets covid, + 10 days from the end of our isolation period(s). There is no other illness circulating right now that could potentially lead to 30 days of home confinement for all of us. The quarantine/isolation timelines have been shortened for all other vaxxed/boosted people. If my kid had the flu, other household members could still go grocery shopping, run errands, etc. Neither of us have jobs that can be put on hold right now (essentially behind the scenes covid response/cleaning up other societal messes exacerbated by covid). Also, we're in the upper Midwest, so it's not like we can even spend that much time outside this time of year.
Pogo says
THIS.
Anon says
If your kid has covid and you are vaccinated, you can still go to the grocery store and run errands. Vaccinated people do not have to quarantine unless they have symptoms (not debating the merits of that, but that’s the *rule*). And if your kid brings home covid, they wouldn’t need to keep isolating after their 10 days no matter if anyone else got it.
It certainly is a hassle for those of us with young kids, but it wouldn’t necessarily be a 30-day ordeal
Anonymous says
Under my county’s policies, which were adopted by my daycare, yes, my kid would need to keep quarantining after their isolation period if any other household member has Covid. Unvaxxed kids cannot be in the building if they live with someone who has Covid. As anecdata, I don’t know anyone with a kid under 2 who’s missed more than 3 weeks of childcare for covid, despite being vaxxed, masking at home, and taking as many precautions as possible.
And as an infectious disease epidemiologist, I happen to know that the current “guidelines” are crap.
Anon says
@1:13 ok, point taken. We might be mixing apples and oranges – the post said no other illness requires quarantines like this. By the rules of good citizenship/science, everyone should stay home while contagious with any illness. By the actual CDC/health dept rules, the covid quarantine is less onerous than it used to be
But I do understand the frustration – my kids were in five combined quarantines in Nov/Dec and one is home again pending PCR
Anonymous says
“By the rules of good citizenship/science, everyone should stay home while contagious with any illness.” That would be nice, but people are specifically not testing right now because they want to pretend it’s not COVID so they don’t have to quarantine.
Anonymous says
It doesn’t matter anyway. Do you really think they are going to have enough staff who aren’t infected to keep schools open for more than a couple of days? Schools will be forced to close one way or another. Better to close now before everyone gets infected.
Anonymous says
Yeah in my district 20% of teachers currently have Covid. There are not enough adults to safely open school.
Anonymous says
Agreed. I’m over both CTU and CPS. It should not be determined at midnight the day before that there is no school today. (Really, we knew this would be the outcome, but still.) The fact that both sides posture and the kids continue to lose is going to drive me to a suburb. Going remote was going to happen—there would soon not be enough teachers and subs—but the fact that they couldn’t get their act together and make remote happen infuriates me.
Anonymous says
A Chicago teacher I know was praising the closure on FB, but was also traveling internationally for New Years. Not a good look.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I have a teacher friend who is complaining about going back to school but is also posting about her trips to the theatre. You have to walk the talk, people.
Anon says
I have a teacher friend who complained a lot about having to go back in fall 2020 but was traveling a ton that summer, including to a Bach party in Florida. It was not a good look.
Anonymous says
I am loving this typo so much. Chamber music for all!!
Anonymous says
hahah I also read it as that kind of Bach party at first!
Fun story about a Bach party: my husband came with me to a dinner party with my chamber music friends recently. He is not a musician or a classical music-lover, but everyone else there was. There was one point where someone made a joke about Glenn Gould’s Bach interpretations that everyone burst out laughing at, and my husband smiled and nodded before circling back 15 minutes later to note that he was still trying to figure out who Glenn Gould is. He was a very good sport, and commented later that he now understands how I feel around his friends when the conversation inevitably veers to sports or movies.
Anonymous says
I don’t do bach parties but I am there for a Bach party!
For Anonymous at 3:18, if he is a MASH fan, teach him to say “Ahhhh, Bach.”
Anonymous says
OP- we have already paid for better ventilation and masking has been required 100% of the time. Very frustrating.
anon says
Question on pay: my small law firm is now just me and the boss, who I think will fully retire within a few years. My boss expects things to slow considerably and wants to meet to discuss our arrangement (currently FT salsary). The field is fairly niche, but less pay than you would get for it on the “other side” of the table (similar to plaintiffs’ side vs defense employment law). We share a very part-time secretary, no paralegals. I work from home, and our office was downsized. While I realize this is not very conventional nor likely the best career-wise, but due to a lot of personal factors (including young kids, covid, DH travels for work, burn out, etc.) I’m ok with it if I get the flexibility I need.
He has always been fair to me, so I want to propose something reasonable. Is there any go-to formula for an hourly rate for professions like lawyers? My thought is that I’ll be available M-F, 9-4, and work as needed at this rate. If we have no work, no pay. If I work 40 hours, paid and bill 40 hours. So, I’m thinking of a rate just under half what I know I’m billed at, but would like some support/benchmark for this. (Vs an hourly rate or salary for a set 30 hours a week). So, if billed at $300/hr to the client, getting $130/hr. Advice? Other things I should make sure to address?
Anonymous says
What would your hourly rate be if you divided your current salary by the number of hours in a full-time work week (no overtime)?
Not a lawyer, but my hourly pay works out to about half my fully loaded billing rate. I work in a mid-sized organization with exorbitant overhead expenses, so overhead goes to pay for a bloated executive staff, facilities, a large and useless accounting department, etc.
Anon says
I worked at a firm when I started practicing where I was paid an hourly rate for the hours I billed. When I got raises, the hourly rate went up. It sounds like this is what you are proposing. I would figure out how much you would like to make in a year, how many hours you would like to work, and figure out your hourly rate from there.
anon says
In the last few days, my 8 year old has developed a fear of choking and won’t/can’t swallow solid food—like even the tiniest bite of a soft, chewed-to-mush food. She is eating tomato soup (no chunks), ice cream, and drinking smoothies so at least is getting some (but not enough) calories. She hasn’t had any near-choking experience that Im aware of that might have provoked this. Im reaching out to the pediatrician today, but has anybody experienced this with their kid? I’m pretty worried, not only about the lack of eating and whatever is going on psychologically, but also that whatever intervention they do will cause more anxiety/issues around food down the road. Hoping for anecdata for anyone who has been through this.
Anonymous says
The interventions for fear of choking and similar feeding issues are designed to reduce anxiety and issues with food, not exacerbate them. From what I’ve read the current approach is about incentivizing incremental steps towards eating without pressure. If you are really concerned I’d ask for an immediate referral for evaluation by a feeding clinic and wouldn’t mess with resources available through your pediatrician’s office.
Anon says
Yep, my younger sister went through this. She had ARFID – went to behavioral therapy and has significantly improved. A few days definitely is r a huge red flag but if it continues definitely work checking out. Good idea that you already reached out to her Dr!
Anon says
*is not a red flag
Anon says
I have a one year old in daycare. I am not sure how to deal with comments from well meaning folks (colleagues, boss, HR), that “at least omicron seems pretty mild if you’re vaccinated,” and/or “kids don’t seem to get it too bad.” It may be true but comes across tone deaf. This statement has come up multiple times when I have voiced concerns about possible daycare closures and getting covid.
Am I just making a big deal out of nothing? Perhaps I just want my colleagues to recognize I’m working under very difficult circumstances.
Anon says
No. I have a 9-month old in daycare, and I just don’t think people get it. I am not concerned at this point about the health risks if we got Covid, but the whole experience would/will be so incredibly disruptive from a childcare standpoint. I am back in the office (and enjoy being in the office), but I have had to stress repeatedly to my boss that if I have a close contact in the office, I will have to stay home with no childcare for 2-3 weeks, possibly longer. This entire concept of having family members with staggered quarantines just seemed shocking to her (no kids).
Spirograph says
You need to differentiate between “I’m worried about the illness,” which is what people are hearing, based on those comments, and “I’m dreading 2 weeks with no childcare.” Two weeks with no childcare for a one year old is essentially a work stoppage, or 50% productivity at best, and they need to understand that.
Anonymous says
This. Make it clear that the issue is logistics that are out of your control, not your own personal risk tolerance or decisions you are making. I am jointly hosting a huge meeting with representatives of three other organizations. We had a call to discuss whether to postpone the meeting because of the surge. The lead person started off with a little speech about how COVID is here to stay and omicron is mild in the vaccinated and we all need to be willing to assume some risk because we can’t stay locked down forever. I pointed out that regardless of people’s willingness to travel, the meeting was scheduled to occur right at the predicted peak, so many of our participants would likely be quarantined or face flight cancellations. The whole group quickly got on board with rescheduling once the risk was reframed from public health/personal health to project risk.
Anonymous says
Maybe my perspective is colored by the fact that I work with people who are older adults or who have disabilities, but just because omicron is “mild” doesn’t mean that it will be for everyone. Plus, there are still going to be logistical issues associated with covid – I have had one client die because she was unable to get lifesaving emergency surgery (would’ve been emergency but >99% success rate in normal times). I have a friend who had to delay heart surgery for two weeks and just sit tight at home and hope her heart kept beating. My clients cannot get oxygen delivered because of supply chain/labor shortage issues. Cancer survivors are being told that they need to do follow up appointments by telehealth – either because they have covid or because of medical staff shortages – even though there’s no way a doctor can check that cancer is still in remission via video, and certainly not by phone (I work with many people in rural areas where there is no internet access). People need to start thinking beyond their own personal risk and stop being automatically dismissive toward people with different risk tolerances.
Pogo says
Exactly. I do think omicron is mild in children and I am not afraid for my children’s health – I am afraid for my sanity if one gets it and we’re all stuck at home, potentially with one parent trying *not* to get it and the other parent doing 100% of the parenting, plus us both trying to work, maybe trying not to give it to the other kid, but how do you even do that??… no thank you.
Anonymous says
My strategy is to rage silently, rant to my husband, and contemplate cracking open a beer at lunch. And I have a coworker right now who got covid on vacation, so now the rest of us are having to continue to cover that workload because turns out that omicron isn’t actually that mild for everyone.
Anonymous says
My experience is people who aren’t around young (unvax’d) kids are just not thinking about it. Once last summer I was in an elevator in the morning and I complained about the drive to work (normal is trains). The senior with me said trains are fine. In a lack of patience, my response was: we are two recent cancer survivors with two unvax’d kids at home, we can’t do trains at this point. He blustered something, and I immediately felt bad for it. I thing people not in the thick of it are just not thinking. Assume good intentions.
I have tried throughout the fall to point out that I still have unvax’d kids and my risk budget isn’t the same as others. But it falls on deaf ears. There’s generally no grace given anymore (if there ever was).
Anon says
I don’t think you’re making a big deal over it. I get internally ragey at my coworkers all the time. Fortunately my boss has a kid under 12 and he was very cautious until his kid could be vaccinated, so he gets it. We vent about the rest of our colleagues which helps a lot.
Anonymous says
I don’t have advice but commiseration. I am bracing for a meeting in a few hours where I tell my department chair (academia) that I am pregnant. I also have a 1 year old and in our last conversation (about whether I am allowed to require my students to wear masks) my chair said my kid would “probably not die” so I shouldn’t worry it. That was in August and I am still pissed off. If he says anything this afternoon it will be hard to keep my cool. I can’t think of any response that he will take seriously (ugh this man is awful) so I’m trying to remind myself that there is no point fighting with someone who deliberately refuses to understand.
OP says
Yikes! That is a terrible thing to say and I’m so sorry you had to receive that kind of statement.
Thanks everyone for the commiseration. You are all right. It’s not just being sick, but that my whole life gets put on pause and derailed because WFH is impossible with a small child (DH cannot stay home, unless HE gets covid).
Anon says
You’re not making a big deal out of nothing, but I also don’t think they’re going to understand. I’d just let it go until you’re in a situation of illness or childcare closure and just tell them how it is – you’ll need to be off entirely during that period or can wrap up X but can’t take on new work or whatever. Best of luck, it’s a very tough time
Anon says
How much screen time is too much screen time? I’m running out of ideas and energy over here to occupy 3.5 year olds (this is being typed as i stand in line for a Covid test)
Anon says
The limit does not exist in a short term situation like a quarantine or loss of childcare. My kid is on hour 4 and counting of Bluey.
In general when we have daycare, we try to keep it to a half hour on weekdays and no more than 2 hours over the weekend.
Spirograph says
+1 The limit does not exist. You get a full pass for acute circumstances.
My kids are older and I make a qualitative distinctions. Playing Minecraft or other videogames together is OK with me in a way that extended vegging in front of Teen Titans is not. They can watch Storybots longer than Teen Titans, too. Just Dance is technically screen time, but they can play that until they start fighting over it, because at least they’re moving.
Anonymous says
I would say 25 hours a day is too much since there used to be only 24 hours in a day, but time has no meaning any more.
Pogo says
lol amen
EDAnon says
Hahaha
Cb says
We see behavioural impacts after an hour and a half so try and avoid screentime until after rest. Lunch, play, quiet time, screentime, and roll-on dinner. But honestly, we’re all in survival mode so if you need more, you need more.
Mary Moo Cow says
I think it depends on the context: is 3.5 year old sick? Are you sick? Is it PBS kids or unboxing videos? I’m pretty strict at one movie or one hour of shows a day, but that goes out the window when I’m about to snap or kids are too sick to read or craft. I also will stretch it for letting them have Epic! reading on the ipad. If I’m low on energy, they can have a movie then a screen break and then about an hour of shows later…or maybe even two movies. Quality over quantity helps me not feel so badly about it. Do what you need to do to get through this and yes, it probably will be hard to break the habit when you’re feeling better, but that’s tomorrow’s problem.
Pogo says
omg why are the unboxing videos such a thing? My kid will pick them over an actual tv, just to watch some kid open a toy that he physically owns. I do not get it.
Anon says
This. We all feel the need to zone out and kids are no exception this far into the pandemic.
Our house rule is typically one hour of screen time on weekends. But for any quarantines or “mental health days” we switch it to 60 min of screens with 30 min play breaks in between:
– 30 min of audio books on Epic or Alexa.
– 30 min of “educational” apps like Monkey Preschool Lunchbox or Endless Reader or LetterSchool or these grade-level-specific “Eggroll Games” math apps on Amazon Fire.
– 30 min of playing with real life toys
– 60 min of free time on screens
– 30 min of playing with real life toys
– repeat
Anon says
We do 30 minutes in the AM and roughly 45-60 minutes in the evenings while I prep dinner for my 4 year old (and maybe stretch to 2 total hours on weekends because otherwise it feels like I never get a break). We were in quarantine recently and were definitely pushing 2-3 hours/day when stuck at home. Survival mode has different rules.
SC says
I’m on team “no limits” for screen time in short-term situations. Or, you’ll know there’s been too much screen time when your 3.5 year olds have a meltdown, and then it may still have been worth it.
anon says
Privilege question. For those of you with housecleaners, do you have them clean your kids’ room/bathroom, change their sheets, etc.? Is this age-dependent? Personally, my goal is that my kids leave my home knowing how to do basic self-care, including cleaning a bathroom. But am I worrying too much about the 4yo not “helping” me change his sheets? When should that change? Signed, never grew up with a housecleaner
Anon says
Yes, they clean her room. She has to get her room ready for them by picking up all her toys, and she helps us change her sheets (cleaners don’t do that). That feels age appropriate to me at 4. We’ll reassess as she gets older.
Spirograph says
Yes, our cleaner changes sheets and vacuums, etc in the kids’ room. My kids have to pick up their toys the night before she comes and I expect them to make their bed every morning. “Luckily” our bathrooms need a cleaning in between the biweekly cleaners, too, so they help with that.
I grew up with a housecleaner, at least for a few years when I was under ~10 (basically until siblings and I we were old enough to actually be helpful with chores rather than making them more work) and I still learned all these things.
Anon says
Ok so i grew up with a housecleaner and my parents never taught me how to clean a bathroom but i figured it out when needed. I also went to sleepaway camp as a kid where I had to change sheets, do some cleaning etc. i try to get my kids involved with chores now but sometimes i go back and forth between just wanting to get something done quickly and in peace vs involving kiddo. Though they do love wiping down the table after dinner. I think the fact that you’re thinking about this is what matters most. Idk how important it is for your kiddo to leave the house actually knowing how to scrub a shower
NYCer says
Yes, our housecleaner does all of those tasks. FWIW, my family had a housecleaner while I was growing up (every day! which is much more than we currently have), and I turned out fine. And by fine I mean I am capable of doing basic self-care, including cleaning a bathroom and doing laundry, etc. I have had several long stretches of having no housecleaner as an adult and never had an issue with it.
anon says
If you don’t mind me asking, if you have siblings how are they, specifically any men? Did you still have chores when you were an older child? Anything your parents did that helped/hurt this independence/cleanliness aspect? Or respect toward the housecleaner? I guess part of me worries that this woman comes and cleans while they’re at school and it’s like magic for them. I just know so many young adult men who seem to either live in filth or have their girlfriends do it all, and I don’t want my son to be like that. I’ll also add that my class/privilege worries should be lower on my list than simple follow-through with chores, because my MIL did house cleaning as a side job and one of her sons never cleans a thing (and didn’t have chores because he resisted so much as a teen).
NYCer says
I am an only child, so no siblings to compare to. Typing this out it sounds horrible, but I really didn’t have any chores growing up either. My parents expected me to keep my room tidy, and I always did. We also put things away at the end of the day (or the end of the activity), so it wasn’t like the housecleaner was following me around picking up my messes. I guess I learned how to do laundry and deep cleaning when I went to college? Sink or swim? I am a fairly organized/clean person by nature though, so it might be different for someone with a different personality. Our housecleaner was basically part of our family (she still works for my parents), and we always treated her as such.
Anon says
Not quite the same, but my husband never had ANY chores as a child (his mother was a single mom who worked outside the home, but also waited on her kids hand and foot) and he’s an incredibly competent adult who does more than his share of the housework because it’s his personality to pull his weight and be helpful. I have an inherently lazy personality and the fact that I had a lot of chores as a kid and teen didn’t break me of that. The older I get and the further I get into parenting, the more I become convinced that so much of human behavior is determined by innate personality and parenting decisions and the home environment can only nudge people slightly in new directions, not mold entirely new people.
DLC says
I think changing sheets are kind of self explanatory, but other things are worth teaching kids to do “properly” like laundry, bathrooms, cooking. Even though we have a cleaner, I periodically have my nine year old clean the bathroom. Also- habits I think are important- like wipe up the toothpaste ring, clothes in laundry basket, put the mayo away after you make a sandwich.
The four year old we focus on habits rather than big tasks, but i’m sure his older sister will want to split chores soon.
I have a friend who doesn’t expect her sons to do chores but spends a lot of time encouraging their love of minecraft and programming. She reasons that developing marketable skills is as much a life skill as learning how to clean/laundry/cook, and maybe will serve them better when they grow up. I think about this a lot and sometimes wonder if she doesn’t have a point in this day and age. (Although part of the reason I teach my kids to do their own laundry is to take the burden off me.)
anon says
You’d think changing the sheets would be self explanatory, but I had a 21 yo live in nanny in 2020. We got her a new mattress and she slept on the bare mattress for a week before she admitted she couldn’t figure out how to put sheets on it. Granted, this is the same nanny who asked for a lesson on how to use our very normal toaster.
Anonymous says
How did she manage to take care of the kids?!?
Anon says
Yup. Our cleaners come every other week, so we still to clean on the off weeks, plus daily chores.
cleaning says
We have her clean the kids rooms – and will definitely reevaluate in a few years. I will say that my son has said some bratty things about her doing something wrong or messing up a lego and that makes me worried i’m not raising him right, but practically this is not the battle i want to fight and there are other character-building opportunities i’m focusing on.
FWIW – I never cleaned a bathroom growing up. I think I’m a kind, good human. I also decided in my 20s that God gave me some awesome skills, and cleaning wasn’t one of them, so I was gonna work my but off to afford a housekeeper ASAP lol. I think everyone needs to have humility and willingness to do all of those things (vs. thinking they are below you), but man am I grateful for Emma who comes every other week and keeps our house and my marriage in tact. I remember telling Emma when I was a newly wed that she played a huge role in my marriage – I could be a modern working woman with a hard job and still have a family that functioned because of her.
Anon says
Yeah I don’t really buy the argument that children need to know how to clean a bathroom perfectly when they leave home. They’ll figure it out when they need to, or they’ll work hard to get a job where they can afford to outsource it. My mom always outsourced scrubbing toilets and I do too. I don’t think it makes us bad people. Laundry and cooking are more important skills in my opinion because they’re harder to outsource and laundry especially is something that you have to do in college, even if you live in a dorm with a meal plan and a janitor.
Alanna of Trebond says
I have never cleaned a bathroom in my whole life. We had a housecleaner when I was growing up, then my boyfriend/husband cleaned the bathroom and now we have a housecleaner again. I don’t do household tasks.
pinata cake says
Has anyone made one of those pinata cakes with a hollow center filled with candy and sprinkles? Does it actually create a cool effect when you cut into the cake? I am trying to come up with fun surprises for kiddo’s second consecutive birthday in lockdown (arrrrrrrgh!). These cakes look neat in photos, but the skeptic in me thinks the candy would get soggy and stick together and wouldn’t spill out properly when the cake was cut.
Anon says
I have, I did it with mini M&Ms, which is about the best interior filler. You want something where the particles are small enough to sort of flow but also distinct enough to not clump together. I think mini M&Ms or those little spherical sprinkles are likely the best. Biggest challenge that I remember is that you want a relatively wide cake, like standard 8-9 inches, but also want several inches of hollow height for stuffing. Together those mean a lot of cake to bake, and realistically more than one cake mix package.
It’s definitely a cool look and probably one that a kid would get excited about, but it also sort of a weird slice of cake – not very much cake in a given slice and lots of toppings, which I guess could be good or bad depending on your perspective.
Anon says
My niece just had one for her birthday – I think they took some sort of virtual class to learn to make it but it doesn’t seem very hard. It was filled with little m&ms which spilled out dramatically.
Anonymous says
Yes! My kiddo made one for her half bday which is just after Halloween. We used up all the m&ms and skittles.
Your cake slice is half candy, so adjust proportions accordingly. I threw out a lot of the candy on the sly.
So Anon says
My apologies if this topic has been covered recently – but what have people purchased lately to help make life easier in any respect?
I purchased a second set of snowpants for my kids so that it is less of a big deal when they leave the first pair at school and want to go sledding over the weekend. I also bought 3 amazon plugs and programed my coffee pot, the Christmas tree (before I took it down), and a light to go on at 3:30 (when it starts getting dark).
Anonymous says
An extra fridge for the garage, garage-rated so the freezer still works at ambient temperatures below 55 degrees. It enables us to keep a backstock of milk, butter, etc. to cushion against supply chain disruptions, holds bulky items like birthday cakes and the Thanksgiving turkey, and generally reduces crowding in the kitchen fridge.
I discovered that a trigger-style ice cream scoop perfectly portions muffins and scones so much more easily than scooping with a spoon or spatula. A large cookie scoop works for mini muffins.
A robot vacuum doesn’t make sense for our situation, so I bought a Dyson stick vac on Black Friday sale. I still think our ancient Oreck does a better job for real vacuuming, but the Dyson is so convenient for quick midweek cleanups.
Running the dishwasher twice a day, after lunch and after dinner, even if there is some space left, is a game-changer.
DLC says
A Yeti Rambler. I don’t know why it took me so ling to realize that my tea didn’t have to be cold when I finally got around to drinking it three hours later.
Anonymous says
A giant mug for tea (I think 30 oz), a sauna tent, and sleep headphones.
So Anon says
Oh can you tell us more about the sauna tent???
Anonymous says
Emily Henderson recently posted a detailed review of one that’s not so much a tent as a sleeping bag. It sounds like torture to me, but YMMV.
Anonymous says
Tons of different options but I went with the Therasage. The River website has many basic and cheap options.
Mary Moo Cow says
Extra 6-foot phone charging plugs. They always seem to migrate, so now I have one in each home office, two in the kitchen, and one on each bedside table. An extra lunchbox so if the kids leave theirs or the zipper breaks we have a ready replacement. A heated towel rack, because my stupidly huge bathroom only had one full size towel bar.
anon says
Extra winter gear too! Bought bright-colored extra mittens so I can freaking find them hahaha.
And, I bought a stand so I can put my home office scanner in a more accessible spot, rather than having to fumble it out of its current spot for each use. I am looking forward to having an easier time scanning documents for home filing rather than looking at the stack of paper mail.
Sounds silly, but also bought more command hooks and “fixed” one of the hanging calendars that was driving me nuts. Now I’ve got extras on hand.
Anonymous says
In addition to the extra snow pants, extra boots.
Anonymous says
A mesh router for faster WiFi speeds and better coverage throughout the house. Now Spotify doesn’t keep dropping out downstairs.