This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
In our first (and hopefully last) foray into homeschooling during the After Times, there were a lot of random school supplies floating around.
This desk organizer kept everything (mostly) in check. This carousel storage center has eight roomy containers perfect for crayons, markers, glue, scissors, pencils, erasers, and anything else your little learner might need. The colorful containers made it easy for my then-preschooler to organize and find her own supplies. Now that she’s back in in-person school (fingers crossed), she uses it for her art supplies.
Note that it doesn’t actually spin like a lazy Susan, but it’s not so big that you can’t just reach across it to grab what you need.
This storage center from Learning Resources is $18.99 at Amazon.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
Instead of using a supply holder that takes up space on a flat surface, I highly recommend putting up a rail and hanging Ikea utensil holders. We use a separate holder each for markers, colored pencils, regular pencils and pens, scissors, and glue sticks. They all can be lifted out of the holder to be moved elsewhere if we want to work at the kitchen table or on the floor for a big project. But when the kids are using their art table, the container can’t be knocked over because it’s hanging. Picture to follow.
Cb says
Ooh that’s a really good idea. Our art stuff is in the sideboard in the dining room so just comes out in the event of an activity. And honestly, now that school is open again, I kind of assume that messy stuff is a school rather than home activity?
Anon says
I think it depends on your kid. This was very much my attitude when my daughter was an infant and toddler but as she’s gotten older it’s become clear how much she LOVES art and we need to have a way to do it on the weekends. There’s a wonderful art studio for kids in my town with weekend classes and open studio hours but since they don’t require masks weren’t not going there until she can get vaccinated. So I had to set up an art area at home. (No idea where this interest comes from, my husband and are both spectacularly unartistic. I actually FAILED an art class in elementary school because I was so bad.)
Anon says
what kind of elementary school fails a kid in art?
Anon says
And I was trying, too! It wasn’t like they failed me because I was being disruptive and ignoring the teacher. It was just because I was so terrible at doing art. It didn’t negatively impact my academic life at all, since it’s not like colleges need to see an elementary school transcript, but it turned me off art for a really long time. But I’m rediscovering it with my kid and it’s actually fun this time around.
anon says
https://media.karousell.com/media/photos/products/2016/09/08/ikea_grundtal_cutlery_stand_1473347543_ca69dc0d.jpg
Anonymous says
I’m actually going to do something like this for my home office.
AwayEmily says
Oooo, that’s nice (I had a grundtal in my old apartment kitchen so it gives me nice grad-school memories, too). To your question, CB, I actually went all-in on an “art area” over the summer. Got a big-ish table (44×24), three solid chairs, a rolling “art cart” where the stuff they use most frequently goes (markers, scissors, glue, crayons, etc) and then a dedicated cupboard for everything else (craft supplies, stickers, washi tape, workbooks, etc). I also worried it would be redundant with preschool/kindergarten but it’s been amazing how much use it gets — my kids (5 and 3) spend time there daily, working on various things. It’s also big enough that an adult can easily sit with them. And I love having a “place” for everything and not having supplies scattered all over the place. I leave little new surprises there every few weeks — yesterday I brought home some plain white labels from the office and left them on the table. They went nuts making “Halloween stickers.”
GCA says
I love this, but where do you put it so that it doesn’t clutter the house? (We’re in a 1000sf 2br… right now kids do all art at the dining table!)
AwayEmily says
Squished into a corner! It’s not the most aesthetically pleasing setup but we make it work.
Anonymous says
+1. Art projects happen at the kitchen table but the “art cart” lives in the dining room, just in a corner. When smaller kids come over I stuff it in the coat closet.
Anon says
I did the same during Covid, and my 4YO will happily spend a good chunk of time creating on her own. She creates on the kitchen table (we mostly use the dining room table for eating; the kitchen table is just a drop zone and maybe one person eats there if we are staggering meal times), but we have one rolling art cart that holds paper and coloring books and add-ons (pipe cleaners, poms, googly eyes, stickers) and then a drawer tower thing that holds paints, colored pencils, markers, crayons, scissors, glue, drop cloths for the easel, aprons, etc. The two carts live in a little alcove in the kitchen next to the door to the (unfinished) basement which are easy to roll out of the way when we need to go down there; the easel lives in the living room tucked next to the fireplace. Not aesthetically pleasing, but way better than art supplies littering every surface in our home, which is where we were last year.
Anon says
at what age can you trust kids to do art independently without destroying the house. i realize this is kid dependent, but on average? cause i feel like if i left markers out for my 3.5 year old twins there would be marker everywhere – not necessarily on purpose, but they are still a bit clumsy
anon says
By 3.5 yo, we were happy to have art supplies always available. We just put them in a public location (kitchen/great room) where we could keep an eye on the activities. We strongly emphasized that we only color on paper, not on skin or walls. We weren’t worried about a little washable marker on the kid art table.
Anon says
My tips are stick to washable supplies and define a zone where they can be used. At 2 we only allowed glue sticks, crayons and colored pencils (because they come off fairly easily with a magic eraser), and only seated at the kitchen table and a full pat down afterwards once we gained some new murals due to contraband in pockets and supervision because she liked to wander (one mural was created in our living room in the time it took DH to go to the bathroom). By 3 we allowed washable watercolor paints, washable squeeze glue and washable markers and she seemed to grasp that walls were not for art. By 4 she is now allowed to craft independently mostly, except that if she wants to use (washable) craft paint on the easel, a grown-up has to set that up and take it down (and she is limited to 4 colors in the paint cups that sit securely in the tray, plus we put down a plastic tablecloth and make her wear an apron and hands are immediately washed afterwards).
anon says
At 3.5 my twins had free range of crayons, colored pencils, washable markers, glue sticks, liquid glue, and scissors with the understanding that if they colored on a forbidden surface these things would get taken away. There was definitely still some accidental coloring on their table when they colored too close to the edge of the paper, but it was totally a worthwhile tradoff for the HOURS of peace we got while they colored.
At 4.5 anything messier like paint is still only done with an adult.
Anon says
The Color Wonder markers are good if you think they’ll draw everyone. My 3.5 year old art lover is pretty clumsy overall but can use markers, crayons and paint sticks without making much mess now. Things like finger painting we obviously put down newspaper.
TheElms says
My 2.5 year old has crayons, stickers, and color wonder markers (and play do) on her art cart. They are in a play room off the family room, and I don’t really supervise the use of those and so far there have been minimal issues. Glue, scissors, paint and real markers get used at the breakfast table with either me sitting at the table or in the kitchen keeping a fairly close eye on her because she often needs help and when she is frustrated she is far less likely to remember the rules. (If she is not upset/frustrated she knows the rules and generally sticks to them).
Anonymous says
Kid dependent. Like if they’re in good moods kids are fine around 3. But let’s say your spouse is out of town for a week and you’re trying to put the baby to bed, your 4 year old who wants attention is going to draw on the wall. Or your 6 year old wants attention from his little brother so draws tattoos all over him while you’re in a phone mtg. These can be managed through appropriate parenting – like, this doesn’t happen all the time- but it can and will happen every so often.
Cb says
It’s reading week so I’ll be home (working, but still…) for 10 days straight. Sleeping in my own bed, doing bedtime! I’m very excited. Covid rates are OUT OF CONTROL here so we probably won’t do anything too adventurous, but kiddo’s nursery is closed on Monday so if the weather cooperates, we’ll go for a cycle ride, build a den in the woods, bring a flask of hot chocolate and cookies, and camp out for the afternoon.
Just got off the plane, so working for a few hours in town before springing T from nursery.
Anonanonanon says
Woo hoo! I guess I missed you taking the job with the travel, congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful break!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Enjoy the cozy time, it sounds idyllic! How are you holding up with the travel?
Cb says
It’s weirdly fine, I’ve got a good routine which doesn’t require much planning.Both airports have super quick security, and I travel just with a rucksack so I can cut it quite fine. I go to the shop en route to my work city house (shared with 2 women my age) and get the same set of groceries and then buy myself something exciting for lunch. I was originally booking an evening return flight and have changed to leave at lunchtime, as the public transport links are more reliable and I can pick up kiddo early. We facetime, while we are all eating our dinners and husband keeps meals and things super simple.
The only thing I need to work on is making sure we’re connecting as a couple. I HATE to talk on the phone and am often talked out at the end of the day, preferring to do a big catch up on Wednesday when I get home. But my husband likes to chat more, so he’s been calling me while I walk to work and he’s WFH.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I love your updates! Sounds like such a lovely British country life.
Cb says
If you ignore the incompetence of the UK Government, it’s not bad! We just hit 50,000 cases a day, and I’m pretty sure the government is aiming for 100,000.
Anon says
The US has followed you guys in every wave, so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before our cases start surging too. Just hoping it will be after 5+ are vaccine eligible. Apparently you have an even more infectious variant of Delta now?
anonymous says
I think the US wave will be muted, in at least the parts of the country with mask mandates and high vaccine uptake. The UK isn’t vaccinating or masking kids, right?
Anon says
The UK is vaccinating 12-15 now, I believe, although they got a later start on it than we did. But the US has really low uptake among 12-15 year olds (<40%) so the UK will probably surpass us pretty quickly just like they did with adult vaccines. Are there really still mask mandates in that many places? I thought even the blue states had mostly limited them to specific settings like schools. And I think we saw from the first Delta wave that even if the red states are worse, the blue states won't be totally spared. More virus anywhere affects people everywhere. And weather will be working for the south and against the north in the winter.
anonymous says
Hmm, I guess I don’t really know about how wide-spread mask mandates. My blue county in a blue state still requires them for any indoor activity, as do other neighboring jurisdictions.
Cb says
They are only giving 12-17s one dose and did so very reluctantly so I feel pessimistic about even younger kids ever getting a vaccine. But at least 90% of adults are vaxxed.
They aren’t masking or quarantining kids any more, there was an English study that suggested 1 in 16 school kids has covid.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I weaned the now 10-month old officially on Sunday. We’re done with kids, so happy to be done with the pumping/nursing part of parenthood (even though there are a lot of sweet times with nursing, pumping was the pits for me). I breastfed DS #1 for 12 months, and DS #2 for just shy of 10 months.
It was MUCH easier (and STILL a hard thing to manage, feeding babies is no joke no matter what the method) with DS #2 because I was not EBF. I supplemented, reduced at-work pump sessions, and then at one point was only nursing in the AM. I want to thank all the wisdom of this community that got me through it with both kids, including the brilliant advice to drop the before my bedtime pumping session I’d do (and fall asleep during with pumping horns on) for DS #1, only pumping 1x/day at work with DS #2, etc. The advice here I’ve also shared with other girlfriends, and I think it’s made their journeys easier as well.
TLDR – Fed is best, but if you do breastfeed/pump, this community is incredibly helpful, and I am forever grateful for it!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Awesome, congrats! I too found feeding a lot easier with baby 2 as I wasn’t as stressed about exclusive b-feeding or having to pump constantly. This community is great.
Curious says
And we are at 5.5 weeks and doing great after you all made me feel so much better about our nighttime formula supplement! We don’t need it every night, but I no longer worry about supply when we do. Thank you :)
Anonymous says
Does anyone have a Dagne Dover diaper bag, and can you speak to its longevity? My current bag is dying and I’m looking for something large enough haul diapers/snacks/toys around in, somewhat lightweight, with a comfortable cross-body strap, that’s not terribly ugly.
Anon says
I don’t have their diaper bag, but my tote has many years of heavy use and still looks good.
MBRec says
I’ve got it, kiddo is 10 months old and the bag is holding up, we’re expecting our second and I have no concerns about the bag surviving. It gets thrown around at the park, car, stroller, etc. Mine is the older version, can’t speak to the new redesign, but I love it.
AwayEmily says
Any advice on three-across for a 2014 Honda CRV? We are eventually going to get a minivan but for financial reasons are hoping to hold out until summer (baby comes in February). When the baby is born the other kids will be 4 and 6 so I can transition the 6yo to a high-back booster. The 4yo is already in a Diono Radian, so pretty narrow.
I’ve checked the carseat lady, etc, but was hoping for any firsthand experience/advice people might have, especially in terms of a narrow infant seat and high-back booster. Thanks! I know it’s early but the supply chain issues are stressing me out and this is on my list to take care of soon-ish.
Anon says
We have a 2012, and I think that’s the same design as the 2014? I currently have a
6, 4 and 6 mo old. We found that we could juuuust fit three across but it was super tight, so we ended up getting a (used) Honda Odyssey when the baby was one week old, lol. We tried the Chicco MyFit, new Graco Slimfit3 LX, and Chicco Keyfit. All are among the slimmest models on the market – especially the new Slimfit, which might actually be the absolute narrowest. That combo did not work for us, and we ended up swapping the MyFit for another Slimfit3. The tricky part is car seats can’t share airspace at all, so even if they physically fit in the car, it’s hard to not have overlap anywhere.
If you are really in a pinch you could probably do the Slimfit3 for all the kids, as it was specifically designed to fit three across in small vehicles. Definitely do seat belt installs and pull the outboard seats as far to the side as possible.
AwayEmily says
Thanks, this is super helpful (and makes me think maybe we should just give up on waiting for summer for the minivan…). Those slimfit3’s are not cheap!
TheElms says
A friend has the Graco Transitions (she’s using it harness mode, which you wouldn’t need), but she can fit it next to her Chicco infant seat so an adult can also ride in the back of a Crosstrek (its very tight but it seems to work). Seems like those two might work for you, maybe?
Anonymous says
I have that Tranzitions seat and it’s pretty wide. Our Honda Fit was probably relatively similar to HRV and there’s no way we could’ve used a Tranzitions with two others (had a Chicco on the other side and definitely could not have fit anything in the middle).
Anonymous says
Whoops Totally misread the car model! Sorry!
Anonymous says
Ditto this. We have two Tranzitions in a Honda Fit and you can squash a small adult in for a short ride, but wouldn’t be able to fit a third carseat.
Anonymous says
Car seats are the most stressful! We had a CRV and took foster placement of infant twins with one week’s notice. I couldn’t make my 4 year old’s convertible car seat work with buckets, so we bought an Odyssey. FWIW, it was a 2015 crv and I did an even trade for a newer Odyssey with fewer miles – used car prices were bananas for a while. Sorry I’m not more help.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not what you want to hear but I’d probably just trade the CRV for an Odyssey now, and then get the carseats that you want, instead of getting seats for a temporary time, if you’re getting the minivan so soon after anyway. I think interest rates are pretty low right now still.
Anon says
But car prices are currently insane. I wouldn’t buy a car right now unless I absolutely had to.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, this may be the right call…especially since used car trade-in prices are bananas right now. We bought our (used) CRV for $14k five years ago, and its current trade-in value is $13k. We’d be getting the minivan new since we want AWD and hybrid, which narrows our options to a 2021/22 Sienna. I really wish we could get an Odyssey since I am a huge Honda fan but I’m in the snowiest metropolitan area in the US and we really need AWD for safety.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I hear you – one of our cars is AWD for this reason. Sienna is great too! Definitely take advantage of the inflated re-sale prices if you can. That almost never happens.
Britney says
You actually don’t need AWD for safety if you put the best snow tired you can get on your minivan. I know
Many people who do this successfully. If you are in a snowy area I assume roads get plowed.
anon says
I have a friend who can easily do 3-across in her Pilot (so bigger than the CRV) with 2 Radians and a Chicco KeyFit 30. For a CRV, I’d try an Evenflo Amp with elastic cupholders for the high-back booster. If you’re not committed to an infant bucket seat, try the Slimfit3 LX, otherwise the KeyFit is one of the narrowest bucket seats. Seconding the earlier comment to do seatbelt installs for all of them.
Anonymous says
This. Amp is what we use to get three across in our Outback. The order you put the seats will also matter. It might work in one combination but not another. Have the booster seat user buckle into the single buckle and have the infant and Radian installed with Latch where the double buckles meet because you can have those seats go flush against each other. Maxicosi was a narrow infant seat when mine were little.
Anonymous says
Try 4 year old and infant in Clek Fllos and 6 year old in Graco Tranzitions using the harness car seat mode not the seatbelt booster mode. Best bet is 4 year old in the middle in a front facing Fllo, infant behind driver in a rear facing Fllo and Graco behind front passenger. Use seat belt installs over latch installs to give more flex on exact positioning. Try the combination at a TRU before buying.
Anonymous says
Unless maybe you put the 6-year-old behind the driver’s seat where there is free access to the seat belt buckle, there is no way they will ever be able to use a non-harnessed booster with two other car seats in that row.
Anonymous says
The harnessed booster might get them through to the spring though when they get the Sienna van.
Anonymous says
Does anyone know if JCrew cashmere will be on sale between now and Christmas? I have a particular sweater that I’d like in another color (or two) and am wondering if it might be included in a Black Friday sale. It is typically always excluded from other sales. Thanks!
anon says
If you’re falling in love with a specific color, I’d get it now. My experience is that if I wait for the sales, it’s usually on the colors that don’t interest me.
Anonymous says
The funny thng is that is how I got the one I have – it is a bright coral but was on a sale rack for like $30 so I figured I should try it on. Turns out bright coral looks great on me, and I never knew it. The problem is there is like a one month window of time in my climate where a bright coral cashmere sweater is wearable. But I just love the way it fits.
anon says
Nice! I have a peach-colored cashmere sweater that is sort of the same deal. It’s my March through early April sweater when I can’t stand to look at dark colors any longer but it’s still cold.
Anonymous says
I’m not waiting for sales on anything I really want this season. I’ve already lost out on some items that sold out while I was deciding.
EDAnon says
My 5 year old is a little pack rat. He wants to keep everything from cardboard boxes to packaging from toys. He doesn’t notice when they’re gone, so he obviously doesn’t actually care about them. It also extends to toys. No matter how little he uses them or how broken they are, he wants to keep them. Our toys are out of control and we have been trying to institute rules about getting rid of toys as new toys come in (which is constant from my in-laws).
He won’t let us get rid of anything! So far, we have just hidden things for awhile and if he doesn’t ask about it, we get rid of them. Only once or twice has he asked about the item. I have been trying to get him to actually choose which toys we give away. Is that foolish? Should we just keep sneaking stuff out? Or should we keep working to engage him (or both)?
For context, I tend to be overly concerned that kiddo behavior will turn into adult behavior, and I want him to be able to get rid of things as an adult. I try not to assume what he does now will be how he behaves in the future (certainly isn’t true for me!), but I also don’t want to fail to teach him important life skills.
Jeffiner says
For my 6 year old, I make sure she’s in a good mood before asking her to get rid of things – if she’s tired or hungry she’ll be too emotional. My husband and I also add things to the donate pile, and she sees us throwing away our broken things, so she knows its not just her stuff we get rid of.
Bluey has an episode where the dad takes the kids’ artwork to the recycling center. He tells them the papers will be recycled into new paper so they can make him new pictures.
Anon says
I know a lot of people do it, but I’m not a fan of sneaking stuff out. Have you talked about where the toys will be going and the fact that other kids who don’t have many toys will be using them? Is there any option to donate to his daycare/school or the library? Both of these things are a lot more concrete for little kids than Goodwill (even if you explain what Goodwill is, I feel like they don’t really get it). Have you done any Toys for Tots-type programs with your kid where you shop for another kid for the holidays? I remember doing that with my mom and it can be a way to ease them into the concept of picking out toys for other kids. I would also ask (or have your husband ask) the in-laws to stop sending toys.
EDAnon says
We buy toys from Goodwill so he’s aware of where they go (and sometimes that’s how he gets his new favorite thing!). It hasn’t helped, unfortunately. I think it would be worse to donate them to his daycare. He has seen us drop his and our stuff off at Goodwill and he cries and/or tries to rescue it.
I am not a super fan of sneaking out but we mostly sneak out the total junk stuff that he doesn’t remember receiving. I see it more like when I throw away his old birthday balloons.
Spirograph says
I think this is a time for both. Rather than saying “do you want to keep this?” about a specific thing, maybe ask him to find x number of things that he doesn’t play with anymore and is ready to give to other kids. We talk a lot about how we’re very lucky and other kids aren’t so lucky, so to help them out we share our things that we don’t really need/want anymore because they might make someone else really happy. That seems to help motivate my kids to purge things. Of course, if they want to donate broken/overly worn things or happy meal toys or whatever, I often just divert to the trash when they’re not looking.
But I also just kind of go swipe things when the kids aren’t looking. Like they were very enamored with a cardboard box for a few days that was by turns a treasure chest, a cat bed, a stadium, etc and I let it go… but once the box got shoved to the corner and stayed there for a week, I recycled it.
EDAnon says
Thanks! I will try pushing on it. Last time, he wanted to keep anything he deemed his but was willing to donate his brother’s trucks.
Anon says
I know he might be a little old for it, but Daniel Tiger has a newish episode about giving things away when you no longer need them. at first Daniel doesn’t want to give his items away, but then realizes he doesn’t need/use them anymore. maybe there is a book on the topic?
Anonymous says
Just as reassurance I was like that as a kid and am definitely not like that as an adult, more toward the other end in fact. It WAS a manifestation of a tendency toward anxiety, I think, and I’ve graduated to other manifestations of anxiety as an adult (and learned to deal with them so it’s not a disruptive part of my life).
abc says
My son does this. He has a few specific boxes for things that are ‘his’, when it doesn’t fit, he needs to figure out what to keep. For toys, we only have so much room on the shelves and we usually help both our kids do a purge between now and thanksgiving to prepare for holiday toys. (“We won’t have room for any new toys if you don’t make room on these shelves”).
I’m often surprised what things my similarly-aged kiddo chooses to keep (broken matchbox cars) but also surprised at things he willingly gives away (toys he got last holiday season that just weren’t quite right).
Note – sounds like you also have an in-laws problem, not a child problem. Your partner should talk to them about experience gifts, or that grandparent presents need to stay at grandparent houses, etc.
EDAnon says
I like the space idea. He responds well to concrete markers like that.
And yes, I do have an in-law problem. They refuse to keep toys at their house (so much so that our kids don’t have much to play with when they visit so they watch too much TV). They actually mail us the few toys they have because our kids liked playing with them when they visited (ugh!). They are also why I want him to learn to get rid of things. They mail us all kinds of things that were my husband’s 30+ years ago. A few are super special and sweet (like a toy car he built with his dad). But a lot are just toys he had as a kid. Many of which he has no particular memory of.
It’s hard though because they have mobility issues so have a hard time experiencing the experinece gifts. And gifts are 100% their love language (and not at all mine!).
Anonymous says
For usable DH’s old toys – keep them in a couple bins in the basement and take them out when they visit only. Bill it has ‘don’t want them to get broken’.
Anonymous says
Lol. We’ve thrown DH’s old toys into the mix with the hope they do get broken and we can get rid of them without guilt from his parents.
Anon says
Can you ask him to choose some toys to be put away for a while? Last month I had a moment and I told my 4 year old son that he had to choose two categories/bins of toys to go into the closet for a while. (He chose duplos and blocks). I’m not quite sure what the next step is for us, but at least they aren’t being strewn all over the floor right now. I guess maybe when new toys come in I might ask if he would rather keep this thing he hasn’t played with in months or have the new thing. Or maybe in a year we’ll just pass it along.
Packaging and cardboard boxes I would just toss/recycle without input.
But my husband has a different approach; he has a white trash bag and when things get out of hand, he will come through like a hurricane and pitch anything that is not put away into it. I personally hate this method. But it is very effective for cutting the clutter.
Also- what would happen in your house if the new toys just didn’t get opened? Sometimes with us, presents just go into the closet unopened. (I have the sheepishly admit that i hid one birthday present that my parents sent us and I now can’t remember where it is and the birthday was six weeks ago….)
Moving in says
Has anyone had their parents/in laws move in with them for a substantial amount of time after retirement? We are “ethnic” so while I grew up like this and remember fun times with the gparents, I don’t know what the view is from a parent perspective. We still plan to keep all our childcare and for the most part my mom is great at enforcing our rules and my dad just does his own thing. Do ages matter? My kids are 4 and 1. Not sure if I have a specific question but maybe just ways to make the transition easier? Things that worked or didn’t work?
Anon4This says
Hi! My Mom has basically done this. She splits her time between my parents house and ours; Dad passed away last year. It’s been great overall, with the normal minor annoyances of someone in your space, but like you I also grew up “ethnic” — with grandparents/extended family living with us for months/years, and benefits outweighed far the cons. I do think it helps to keep all childcare, and have grandparents help with the day-to-day – e.g. getting kids ready, bathtime, help with meal prep (but not 100% making them “in charge” of every meal), date night babysitting, etc. This way it’s a team effort all around vs. grandparents becoming a single point of failure for all childcare, which I’ve seen in my extended family and do not want to replicate!
Also, the bonus time with my Mom has been wonderful in a very hard season of life for us all.
Anon says
I wouldn’t worry so much about their interaction with your kids (it won’t be a “typical” grandparent relationship, but it will be closer and I think that’s a good thing). But do you have experience living under one roof long term? How big is your house? We have a relatively big house (4 proper bedrooms plus a den I use as an office) and when my parents used to visit us for even two weeks it was really, really hard. We all love each other and get along fine on a shorter term basis but that much togetherness was intense and by the end we were extremely ready to go our separate ways. I can’t imagine doing it permanently. For context, I’m an only child and I think I’m closer to my parents than a lot of people. They now live a mile away from us and we see them probably at least 3-4 times a week on average and it’s wonderful. Truly, absolutely life-changing and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But I think we would have murdered each other if we’d tried to live in the same house long term.
Anon says
Also are you still WFH a lot? That will mean much more togetherness than you’d have if you were going to an office very day. Spending almost every waking hour with my husband has been hard on our relationship, I can’t imagine putting my parents into the mix as well.
Anon4This says
Oo I’m Anon4This that posted at 11:12. This is a GREAT point. In fact, my Mom and her friends (who all help with grandchildren) have discussed this from their own perspective – that it limits their own comfort level at times because someone’s always home!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same thoughts here, as another only child whose parents live nearby and help with childcare for date nights and whatnot, but could NOT live with them full time now. I do think it gives grandkids and grandparents a huge opportunity to be very close (I spent the first few years of my life in a multi generational home and really bonded with my grandma) but I’m not sure it’s worth the sanity price now that I’m on the parent side!
Some things to think about: Will grandparents have say in your household management and childcare decisions? When they live there, that is much more likely to come up and could create conflicts, especially on the childcare front. Will they treat you as their kid or as another adult? I know I sometimes revert to my teenage self when I’m around my parents for too long, which is not the dynamic I want in my house. Is your husband ok with this dynamic?
Anonymous says
My mom lives with my sister’s family and is the primary caregiver for their children, not just during working hours but nearly all of the time. She moved in when the younger one was an infant and the kids are now tweens. The most difficult part for her is having nearly all the responsibilities of parenthood with zero decision-making power. She has to enforce and implement rules and plans that she didn’t make, and when things don’t work she has to negotiate changes with my sister and her husband. I’d encourage you to very clearly define roles with your parents, especially around discipline.
If you can provide them with their own living space with a bedroom, sitting area, bathroom, and ideally a separate entrance, that will help a lot. It’s also helpful to clearly define “together” and “private” times, including which meals are taken together.
Anon says
so i have not done this and won’t be doing this, but this totally could have worked with my mom (unfortunately she passed away two years ago), but she and I just meshed well, had a great dynamic, she wasn’t super judgmental, etc. it would never work with my in-laws bc my MIL is the type of grandmother who likes to spoil my kids rotten and would literally buy them new toys/clothes/stuff everyday nor would it work with my dad because while he has good intentions, he judges my parenting unintentionally and it would be way too stressful for me. where we live a lot of houses have garage apartments and i could see it working in that scenario where the grandparents have their own space. we just bought a house and it doesn’t have one of those and now i’m wondering if we should have
Aunt Jamesina says
I haven’t done this personally, but my in-laws host extended family who live overseas regularly for a month or two at a time. While they don’t have kids, they do occasionally host family members who have kids. It seems to me that the key to it working well is that they have a guest suite in their basement with a bedroom, bathroom, and living room/kitchenette area. I think everyone being able to retreat to their own space and having defined times when they’re all together (typically dinner) really helps.
Anonymous says
This is what we have with extended in law visits. Everyone is much happier. The living room area is DH’s home office when they are not visiting and he moves the desk into our bedroom for the month they visit (it’s tight but more functional than him having to work out of the space they are in or having that space go unused for months at a time).
Anonymous says
My best friend is Indian and her parents moved in shortly after her first child were born. She now has two kids, two parents and two grandparents in a 1,600 sq ft townhouse (worth $2.5M because Bay Area). It’s possible her MIL will move in at some point. My friend isn’t a very positive person by nature so she rarely complains, but I think it’s very hard for her and I don’t think it’s something she’d choose if there weren’t the cultural pressure. I understand why an adult child would feel obligated to let elderly or infirm parents move in, particularly if they don’t need the full services of a nursing home yet, but if the parents are healthy and able to live independently, living in separate houses in the same city seems to me to be the best of both worlds.
Anonymous says
“My friend IS a very positive person” is what I meant to say.
Curious says
We have annual extended visits from both my mom and my in laws (3-9 weeks). We’re white, so no recent cultural history of this (though I suppose my mom’s eastern European grandmother basically raised her). It works because we get along, and we have the separate space many have mentioned. Guests have their own entrance, bedroom, bathroom, and living space. We couldn’t do it permanently, but it works for a couple months at a time.
Car Seats says
We were in a car wreck and trying to decide what to replace the car seat with (as well as what seat to keep at the grandparents since she is now doing more solo trips there). DD is just turned 4, all torso, 45 inches tall and 58 pounds. She was in a Chicco NextFit and has roughly a quarter-inch left before the shoulder harness will be too low. We love our Chicco’s and find them very easy to install. The MyFit (harness booster combo) looks like it has an additional 2 inches on the harness height (one of the highest harness heights I have been able to find). Or we could switch her to the KidFit high-back booster which is just belt-positioning, no harness. We also have a Ride Safer Travel Vest we use in the third “fun” car. She still often sleeps on long car rides and I am not confident she is disciplined enough to sit properly with just a seatbelt. So my thinking is to fork over the extra money for the MyFit in hopes we get another 6 months to a year out of the harness. Anyone used this combo one? For my mom’s, I am torn between the travel vest (easy for them to move between cars and store but currently sold out in her size and of course don’t have the extra padding from the booster) and the high back booster on the theory that it won’t be many long trips where she could fall asleep? Keep reinstalling our car seat in their car until the travel vest comes back in stock? I’m probably overthinking this, but maybe I’m just channeling our energy over whether our car will be repairable or totaled.
Anon says
I have an almost 4 year old, tall but not as tall as your kiddo. We have a cheap forward facing carseat for my parent’s car – the Cosco Finale. I’m more comfortable with that than a vest or booster seat for a 4 year old. I like to stay in each car seat “stage” as long as height and weight limits permit, and we only switched her forward from rear facing within the last year. It’s really easy to install and kiddo doesn’t complain about it. My parents don’t take her on long road trips, but they do a lot of day to day driving, including regularly picking her up at school (which involves highway driving) so we prioritized safety over comfort. It converts to a booster but my kid is nowhere near the FF carseat height and weight limits so it will be in carseat mode for a while.
Anonymous says
We also like the Finale for this, but it has a relatively short max torso height, so probably won’t work for a tall-torsoed kid.
Anon says
Oops. My kid has an insanely long torso for her height. Now I’m worried she’s outgrown this seat and we didn’t realize. Do you happen to know what the max torso height limit is? I can only find a total height limit of 49″, which she’s definitely under (I think she’s around 42″ or 43″).
Anonymous says
As long as her shoulders are still below the top strap height she’s fine! I think it’s outgrown at like 16.5″ torso compared to 19″ torso for the MyFit.
TheElms says
Its 16.75inches per csftl . org
Anonymous says
(My kid’s height is all in her legs, so at 42″ she’s still using the lowest strap height and will probably outgrow the seat by total height rather than torso.)
Anon says
Thanks, I’m pretty sure the strap is still above her shoulder. She’s a 4T on the bottom and a 9-10 on top, so definitely long torsoed, but since she’s not close to the total height limit hopefully we can get another year or two out of it.
Anon says
The MyFit is great. We still have our six-year-old harnessed and he seems very comfortable. The official recommendation is that most kids aren’t ready for a high-back booster until minimum age five (they really have to sit up straight and stay in position the whole time riding), so I’d definitely do the MyFit.
Anonymous says
+1
anon says
+1 on MyFit. We’re getting longer out of the carseat mode than I anticipated because of slowing growth in elementary school.
Anonymous says
Graco Tranzitions. We have like 6 of them across our vehicles and grandparent vehicles. My 7 year old still fits with the five point harness. I don’t think it’s very common to transition a 4 year old to a seatbelt, even if it might technically be legally allowed. The availability has really increased over the last couple of years for great older kid car/booster seats (car seats that look more ‘grown up’ and have five point harnesses and convert to high back boosters).
TheElms says
I’d get a Graco Transitions for your mom’s car. The top harness slots on the NextFit are listed as 17.5 inches, the top harness slots on the Transitions are 18.25 (info is from here: https://csftl.org/recommended-seats). That would likely give you another 6 months-1 year in the harness and then the seat converts to a high back booster, and backless booster so it would be the last seat you need for your mom’s car.
Anonymous says
If open to a different high back booster – Graco Tranzitions has been great for my extremely tall child – only just had to move him out of the harness at age 6.5 and prob 9-10” taller than your child is.
anon says
I have a 90th percentile height 5 year old who is still harnessed in a Graco 4Ever in one car and a Harmony Defender in the other car. Both convert to a booster, but I expect to be able to keep her harnessed for a while longer. The Defender can be hard to find, but we love it so far. We bought the Graco 4Ever years ago, but I think there are several different versions now.
Anon4This says
Piggybacking on ydays convo about gardening. I communicated to DH that I’d like to garden soon (it’s been about 1.5 months, for context we have a pre-schooler and a <1 year old). I've posted before here on how last year was terrible on all fronts, including marriage and losing a parent.
He responded that he is very interested, and knows we'll get back "there", but still getting over some of the stuff from last year (which…same) and that (and this was the longer conversation) my body is understandably different now and combined it hinders his sexual attraction. He also caveated it by, look I know you are just now finding time to workout/take care of yourself again and get into a groove, and I want to support that however I can because I know how much it means to you (all true).
Years ago, I would have cried about this conversation. Now thanks to therapy and active listening, I feel like I could better understand where he was coming from, while also advocating for my own needs.
Anonymous says
Omg I’m so sorry! And I’m so sorry you are in a place where you don’t even feel entitled to feel hurt by hurtful things your partner says to you.
Anon says
+1
Anon says
+1000
Anon says
You’re a better person than me. If my spouse told me I needed to get back into a regular habit of working out before he would have sex with me, I would devastated and seeking divorce lawyer recommendations. I mean I guess I don’t know what degree of “letting yourself go” (yuck, I hate that term) we’re talking about, but pretty much everyone I know has gained 15-20 pounds during Covid and it’s hard for me to imagine weight gain repulsing your spouse that much unless it’s like hundreds of pounds. No matter how much you work out and how many beauty treatments you do, weight gain and wrinkles are part of life and it would be hard for me to be married to someone whose attraction to me is so connected with how I used to look.
OP says
I can totally understand your POV. Our marriage really went through the ringer last year in part because we hadn’t been communicating and holding on to resentment, and then a surprise pregnancy for a 2nd child that was being debated about.
While it wasn’t fun to hear, it’s real and I respect it. Also, FWIW he didn’t say “work out and then we’ll have sex”, but again, I can see how it reads that way!
Anonymous says
Because those are the literal words he used. Sweetie. Stop deluding yourself.
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah . . . this sounds like work he needs to do on himself more than work you need to do on you. Not that regular exercise isn’t great and important self-care, but you will never be able to guarantee that your body won’t change and you might break your heart trying to.
OP says
Agreed – it’s not my “MISSION” to be in amazing shape for him or anyone else…but more my own thing for self-care. If it works for him, great, but if not, it is what it is and he’ll have to figure it out. There have been plenty of times in our relationship where I was the one working out and taking care of myself and he wasn’t, and it showed but it never slowed my gardening drive per se.
anon says
Uhhh … you’re a better person than I am, is all I’ll say.
Anonymous says
Yikes. I’d be very accepting of “I’m still getting over some stuff”. Any insult to my postpartum body would be rage inducing. I assume your husband doesn’t have a perfect body and doesn’t work out 6 days a week. Gardening and attraction is about so much more than our bodies.
OP says
Okay, clearly I came for some understanding from a usually supportive board and struck out. I also don’t think I’m explaining this properly. Hope all have a good day!
Lily says
I don’t want to pile on, but what your husband said to you is objectively unkind. Your body being out of shape hinders his sexual attraction? I mean, maybe that’s true, maybe it isn’t and he’s just blaming his own stuff on you, but regardless, that is not something he should put on you. If my husband said something like that to me, I would not only not be motivated to get in better shape, I would actually have zero interest in gardening with him. Probably for a long time, if not forever.
Anon says
I’m sorry you’re hurting, but your husband said something objectively awful to you and it’s not really surprising that people can’t applaud you for not only accepting it, but acting like it represents some kind of progress in your relationship.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I think although what he said wasn’t ideal, it sounds like there was a lot going on and it was communicated in a thoughtful sincere manner. How you feel about it (vs. how other internet strangers would act in their own clearly perfect marriages, sorry not sorry) is what matters the most. It sounds like you and your partner have open communication about the matter, and that you feel good about where things are going.
Spirograph says
+1. I wouldn’t love being on the receiving end of radical honesty like that, but lies, simmering resentment, and drifting apart in silence are all worse. I hope this conversation helps you get to a healthier place both physically if you feel like you need that (exercise is a huge part of self care for me, so I get it) and in your relationship, and I’m happy that it made *you* hopeful.
Curious says
I’ve always wondered if my spouse and I would hit a time when we weren’t attracted the same way, and if so, how we’d communicate it. Keeping it suppressed seems like a recipe for slow fading of intimacy. My partner went several months not touching my pregnant belly before admitting it weirded him out. But once we talked about it we worked through it. So I can see OP being grateful for the honesty instead of withdrawing or pulling away. OP, though, just know that you deserve to be gardened with enthusiastically at any size! You’re not your spouse’s improvement project :)
OP says
Thank you for this. After a VERY hard year on my marriage, this is exactly where we are. We both had resentments about other “small” things that festered over time, and now are just trying to talk more clearly about the right things, which is important with someone who has trouble communicating needs (me) and someone who avoids conflict (DH).
And yes, I agree…I deserve the attraction/enthusiastic gardening because I am worthy.
Anon says
Marriage sucks sometimes (or a lot of the time). I hope you feel truly loved again soon.
Anonymous says
I’m just so sad for you
Em Kaye says
My husband and I are attending our good friend’s indoor wedding next week. We have only one mutual friend who will be in attendance. She’s an old high school friend and I haven’t talked to her in years, but thanks to social media, I know she and her husband are strongly anti-vax and anti-mask, and do not practice social distancing of any kind. The bride told me that we will be seated with the mutual friend + her husband at the wedding, and it’s too late to make any seating changes. FWIW, the wedding invite did request all guests to be vaccinated, but the bride told me she knows some guests who chose to ignore her request. Hubby and I plan to attend the wedding wearing masks, even if we’re the only ones. We’re looking at transmission rates and know they’re dropping, but not quite to June levels yet. We are fine leaving the wedding early if we feel uncomfortable (ie if friend makes a scene over our use of masks). We have two babies at home. I feel like our plan is good, but I’d appreciate hearing how you all would handle this situation if you were in our shoes!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m COVID-Cautious, but less so than others on this board. However, being in *that” close proximity indoors to someone I know is unvaxxed would give me a lot of pause.
Is there anyway y’all could stand in the back during the reception vs. sit with them? Also, could you reach out to the seemingly anti-vaxxer via social media messenger and ask if she happens to be vaxxed, y’all have 2 babies at home, etc.?
OP says
She’s very vocal about being unvaxxed on social media, and fairly hostile toward anyone with an opposing view. She also has babies at home. :*(
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
She sounds delightful. Sigh.
So we’ve attended an indoor wedding (DH’s childhood friend) where vaxxes were required, but at the end of the day, who knows what everyone’s status was. We went, masked, etc. Came home, stayed masked until we could PCR test and get results which were negative.
Anon says
You do you, but there’s no way I’d go to an indoor wedding right now with unvaccinated kids at home. Given that you’re going, I wouldn’t worry too much about the seating arrangements. You don’t know the vax status of anyone else and presumably plenty of others are unvaccinated, so it’s not like you’re going to be seated next to the only unvaxxed person. I would be more focused on testing regularly after coming home (ideally every day) to minimize the risk of transmission to your kids.
OP says
I appreciate hearing your insights. I feel like I’m by far the most COVID-cautious person I know! Most my friends/colleagues are vaccinated, but mingle like it’s pre-COVID times, which I struggle with; my family has been turning down lots of invitations. Hearing your perspective makes me feel less “out there.” The bride was in my wedding party when I got married 10 years ago, and I want to be there for her now as a guest. Otherwise, I’d likely be skipping the wedding.
Anon says
I hear you, it’s easy for me to say we wouldn’t do it but we haven’t had to make the choice and certainly not for a very close friend and I know it must be a tough spot to be in. It’s funny because I feel very Covid cautious (we live in a red state with minimal mask wearing, so we go basically nowhere indoors except daycare and usually wear masks outside in public, even though no one else here does), but a lot of my friends think I’ve thrown caution to the wind since we took several plane trips this summer and fall. But everyone is masked on planes and there’s good air filtering and on most of the flights we’ve taken people had to present negative tests. I also have several friends who haven’t even done outside dining since the beginning of the pandemic, and think we’re reckless for doing that.
Anonymous says
I don’t think masks are going to help you much, since you will have to take them off for quite a while to eat and drink. I wouldn’t go to any indoor wedding right now.
Anon says
You asked what we would do, so I’ll answer. I would go. I would greet my old friend with enthusiasm and have a lovely time without worrying about what other people do or don’t do. I’m vaccinated and healthy. I’m not going to go nuts trying to limit these low risks.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 this is where I’m at more or less at this point. I’ll do my best to take the precautions I can for my family/community (e.g. masking where possible, and masking/testing afterwards), and that’s it.
Spirograph says
This is what I would do, too. And I’d avoid any discussion of vaccines and give a cheerful “this is what we’re comfortable with right now. Wow, isn’t the bride radiant? I’m so glad to be here!” Response to any comment about my own mask.
Anon says
If I were in your shoes (and there are only a handful of friends I would do this for and sounds like this is one of yours), I would go wearing a good mask (N95 or KN95). I would do my best to eat quickly and put the mask back on and would definitely stick to more open areas (i.e., not in the middle of the dance floor). And celebrate. We’ve missed too many celebrations.
Anon says
I don’t really get the bride. What’s the point of requiring vaccination but not really requiring it. I probably would’ve uninvited such people from my wedding and honestly might have trouble supporting someone who is knowingly inviting unvaccinated people. Maybe I’d go for the ceremony and skip the reception. I’d definitely stay masked the whole time. Yes I’m vaccinated, low risk and generally healthy but i have no interest in being forced to quarantine at home with my kids for 20 days. Nor do i have any interest in unknowingly passing along covid
Anon says
Yeah I’m not sure I’d want to go to a wedding for someone who invited an openly anti vax, anti mask person. She’s putting all her guests – including many people who may be older or high risk – at risk to include this one anti-vax loon, and that really says something about the bride’s values.
OP says
We’re planning to leave early no matter what; we haven’t decided how early yet.
The bride told me that she knows some people who chose not to attend and others who chose to get vaccinated as a result of her requesting vaccination, but said she’s not going to enforce it with the others.
anon says
Covid rates are among the lowest in the country where I live, but when broken out by vaccination status, unvaccinated people still have high rates of Covid where I live.
With unvaccinated little ones at home, I wouldn’t go spend time inside with someone who is vocally anti-vax and anti-mask. It’s not worth the chance of me passing something on to my kid that, at best, shuts down childcare for their class for two weeks.
anon says
I would go, stay masked and either not eat or eat very quickly. My vaxxed and relatively cautious nanny recently got COVID probably from indoor dining, so perhaps I’m more nervous than most since it just happened to us.
Anon says
I wouldn’t go to an indoor wedding but if I did, I’d keep a mask on the whole time. You can take your plate and eat in the hall or outside (or just bring some bars/snacks and do the same if you want to be less obvious). You can then come back and sit at the table to chat and listen to speeches, or rejoin for the dancing. With unvaccinated kids at home, there’s no way I’d intentionally dine indoors for a long wedding meal with someone who is anti-vax.