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I find myself drawn to modern, classic looks, so it’s no wonder that Vince takes up more and more space in my closet.
Right now, I’m looking to up my skirt game and Vince’s Asymmetric Overlap Skirt would be a great addition. This midi-length, cotton-blend skirt would be great for in-office summer days. The overlapping front keeps the look fresh while the subdued colors (black or “fog,” a light gray) are versatile and office-friendly. But my favorite thing about this skirt is the comfy elastic waist.
This skirt is available at Nordstrom for $165 and comes in sizes XXS–XL.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Grad School Rec says
Well I’ve decided to apply for a master’s program. It’s a fully online program, which should make it feasible with a full time job, a young child, and possibly a second kid (insert laughing/crying emoji).
What was the consensus on recommendation letters- Do you offer to draft one when reaching out for one? They would all be coming from current/former managers.
Anonanonanon says
When I applied to school last year, I framed it as “in case it is helpful, I’ve listed what I view as some of my most relevant accomplishments in the position below,” and listed a few bullets of relevant accomplishments. I worded them in such a way that they could copy and paste if they wanted.
anon says
+1. A list of bullet points that could easily be strung together seems less prescriptive than actually writing the letter, but is immensely helpful to get a good letter out of the reference.
Anonymous says
Is it common to ask for letters of dec in your field? If not, definitely offer to draft. (“In case it would be helpful, I’ve enclosed a sample “/“idea of what schools are looking for”/ “here are some areas to consider”). Some people will take it and run; others will never have done it before and while they could sing your praises, have no idea where to start.
AwayEmily says
Caveat that I am a professor, not a manager, so I write a lot of rec letters. But I would be a bit taken aback if someone drafted one for me, or offered to. Would feel sketchy. But Anonanonanon’s bullet point idea (plus an attached resume and an offer to chat briefly to catch up) is well within the realm of normal. Seems like a good compromise.
Anonymous says
Yes but it’s completely different between a professor and a random office manager.
AwayEmily says
Hence kicking off my comment with the word “caveat.”
BlueAlma says
I’m a humanities professor. I sometimes ask grad students to send me a draft of a ref letter, with the understanding I will revise it. Otherwise I ask for a list of points to highlight. Both are huge time savers.
AwayEmily says
Agreed, I think it’s fine if the recommender asks you for a draft. But sending one unsolicited would be unusual.
AnonATL says
For the poster looking for a play kitchen, there are several Kidcraft ones on zulily today for a good price (~$100)
Anonymous says
I missed the post yesterday but we have this one and I love it. It’s a little taller than most but not ugly and still works well for my elementary school aged kids. https://www.wayfair.ca/KidKraft–Large-Play-Kitchen-Set-53369-53387-L745-K~KK3140.html?refid=GX182209952121-KK3140_23080753&device=c&ptid=402698662488&targetid=pla-402698662488&network=g&ireid=42178823&PiID%5B%5D=23080753&gclid=CjwKCAjwlrqHBhByEiwAnLmYUEZHClNZh5a6IHPmiPzrUre8NAkjX70WSJJPXyexB8cJWimt0qvUOxoCieMQAvD_BwE
Lily says
We have this one too for our 2.5 year old and like it.
Anon says
Thank for the tip!
Octonauts Toys says
I forgot to chime in yesterday, but to the moms looking for Octonauts toys: I bought a set of cake toppers for my kids to play with at the beach last year. They’re smaller than the true figurines, but kids had fun with them. They were about $12 a set.
Anon says
I mean thanks. :)
Kids' Watch Rec says
Hello! Apologies if this has been covered, haven’t been able to find in prior posts. My six year old desperately wants a watch for her birthday. Specifically she wants the JoJo Siwa watch a classmate has. I’m a nope on that (don’t want anything with games) but would like to get her a basic watch with maybe step tracking as well as time telling, no distracting games etc. that can’t be disabled. Recommendations?
Anonymous says
Why do you want step tracking for her?
Anonymous says
No step tracking. That’s diet culture and your 6 year old doesn’t need it. Swatch has super cute options!
https://www.swatch.com/en-us/minou-minou-lp156/LP156.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwlrqHBhByEiwAnLmYUKn9b3yiqXw2JBojZxJlAaju82LemIJBCxgzytpmBJDc15Vojnq5PxoCeUMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Aunt Jamesina says
Yes, please avoid step trackers!
oil in houston says
I had a tikTok growing up, and plan on getting it for my 7 year old soon, loads on amazon
Anonymous says
My 5 and 8 year olds both have the watch your kid wants (well, it’s different characters but the same thing). Are you sure wants the watch for telling time and not games? if you’re dead set on no games, could you get her one that has another fun component? One of my girls also has one that holds lipgloss.
FWIW, my kids are not allowed to bring the game watch to school. One has a standard analog watch because I am Old School; the other has no other watch.
anon says
Watchitude watches are really cute.
FWIW, one of my kids has a fitness tracker watch (HR, step tracking etc) – this one. He loves it. I don’t think of step tracking as diet culture if you don’t talk about it that way. He just likes tracking his steps and seeing how far he goes, especially on long hikes. He also likes the HR monitor, even though I’m sure it’s wildly inaccurate. It lasted for about a year and a half.
https://www.amazon.com/ONIOU-Waterproof-Activity-Sedentary-Pedometer/dp/B08JVDHW83/ref=sr_1_7_sspa?crid=29WV5J1XWB6HN&dchild=1&keywords=kids+smartwatch&qid=1626282790&sprefix=Kids+smartwatvh%2Caps%2C246&sr=8-7-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFKM0I5MDE4SllLTkMmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTAzMjM2NjVLNTI5M09UWFNYN1kmZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMTAzNzc5MjFQWERJTEVFNUFLWk0md2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl
Anonymous says
I agree with this. Moving your body is basic health and not diet culture. I think it’s great to compare “oh on days I have gym class and baseball I get x steps and on days I don’t I get Y steps.” I think it’s a great family goal to hit a certain number of steps per day and do silly stuff like a living room dance party to get there.
Aunt Jamesina says
Moving your body is basic health, having related data to analyze on a regular basis isn’t. Some people will never have disordered thoughts or behaviors be triggered or exacerbated by a tracker, but some will. I don’t see an actual upside to a tracker. You can easily focus on movement and how it benefits your body without it.
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah, the goal should be to encourage joyful movement because it makes your body feel good and not because you want to hit an arbitrary number.
Anon says
My 8 and 6 year old have the Garmin Vivofit Jr 3 watches and have had previous models for a few years now. We really like them. Yes they have a step tracker portion (although they don’t pay attention to it at all except when we go hiking and get insane numbers together). But it’s good for telling time, setting alarms, and reminding on chores. For example, they have an alert that goes off to remind them to practice piano, and another alarm for brushing their teeth. It has a timer function so they use that to ensure they brush for two whole minutes.
I think at some point they’ll get Gizmo watches to be able to call/ text us, so this is teaching simple responsibility before we spend the time and money on a Gizmo.
EDAnon says
We bought my 4yo a basic Timex. He likes it but does not wear it. I think he might when he’s older. He’s still learning to tell time.
Anonymous says
I asked yesterday about organization tips. I did a walk through of two rooms in my house this morning to identify “crap that doesn’t have a home” so I could come back asking for specific advice. Here are things/ categories of things that need homes. Please tell me where/how you store these things in your home!
In the entry hall:
– Stuff that was ordered online, needs to be sent back, but is not ready to be sent back yet (example: half of my Gap order came in, so I am waiting until the rest comes in until I send things back).
– 3 small/medium sized items that belong to my mother, who left them at my house and is out of town for a couple weeks
– A large package containing an unwrapped birthday gift (a beanbag chair) for one of my kids that was sent several weeks in advance from grandparents
– two purses that belong to my daughters, who have no need to carry purses about but occasionally do so anyway (contents = lipgloss, tissues, 3 $1 coins from the tooth fairy)
In the kitchen:
– 4 pieces of painted on paper that my kid did earlier this week and has a “vision” for (they are currently drying in my kitchen bay window)
– Small stack of bills that need to be paid
In the living room (which currently functions as our TV room)
– heating pad that I use every night while watching TV (I’ve been shoving it into a basket but it still looks cluttery)
– blankets (is there a better place than folded neatly over the couch?)
– spackle and putty knife, mask and tape that are being used on a daily basis to slowly repair a hole in the ceiling in this room (I guess it needs to be done in coats and dry 12-24 hours in between)
thanks for your ideas!
anon says
In my house:
-Stuff that needs to be sent back doesn’t have a good home and usually just sits on a desk or table in the office for that week until we have everything we need.
-Items that need to be returned to a visitor go in a drawer in the office. Everyone’s stuff is jumbled together but we all know to look there for this category of item.
-Presents for upcoming events go on a shelf in our closet because the kids don’t go in there.
-Kid artwork either goes on a bulletin board reserved for this purpose or gets recycled. They can choose which but it doesn’t get to lie around the house forever.
-Bills go on my desk so I see them and remember to pay them.
-Blankets for the couch go in a basket next to the couch.
-Tools that aren’t being used get organized in the basement, but if it’s being used daily at the moment I’d just leave it out and accept that clutter.
Anonymous says
Thanks! I think if we had an office in the front of the house, much of the stuff would live there. But my office is in one of the upstairs bedrooms and DH’s is in the basement. I think we are missing a “home office” sort of thing into which all Home Items go. We have a large house by sq ft it’s just not set up well right now. The Mom Items are too big for a drawer (serving dish, beach towel, hair brush, giant stuffed elephant*)
*She tried to pawn this off on my kids and I’m not having it.
Anonymous says
You just need to go pick it up and walk it to an office. Like. Literally just go do it now. There’s no magic to it.
Anonymous says
If you’ve got a basement, definitely stick the Mom Items, shipping boxes, and oversized gifts in there!
Curious says
We have a little mail caddy where we keep bills until I batch pay and it’s great. It hangs on the wall so minimal footprint.
I also disagree on the “just suck it up and walk up/ downstairs to put it away” mentality. That would get me nowhere. I need to find homes for things near where they normally fall or they never get put away. Hence the mail caddy.
Anonymous says
I generally agree with keeping things near where they get used, but bulky stuff that isn’t being used regularly (gifts, stuff to return to a relative, packages to return) is really annoying to have just sitting in an entryway. I’d put this stuff in the garage or basement.
Curious says
Oh, agree on gifts and bulky/low use items. Our gifts have a place in a closet. We have not yet solved for parcel returns.
Anonymous says
So this actually doesn’t sound that bad, except for the stuff in the entryway. In my fantasy life, I’d have a mudroom with cubbies or empty space in a closet for gifts and boxes. Since we live in a tiny house that does not have even one full-sized closet (they are reach-ins ranging from 2.5 feet to 6 feet in length), this is impossible. For gifts and current projects, I bought a gigantic basket that sits on the floor of the guest room. Packages awaiting shipping usually end up in the garage or the trunk of my car. Kid purses can hang on hooks in their bedrooms or closets, unless you can make a place for them in the coat closet.
I keep bills and paperwork that needs to be handled in a tray in my desk drawer. In the Before Times when I used to go to the office, these went in a folder in my work bag so I could handle them during lunch.
For the heating pad and couch blanket, you could get a large basket and put the blanket on top of the heating pad for a neater look. For the repair supplies, put them in a tub and stick the tub in the garage while the supplies aren’t being used.
For the kid art, is there a designated mess zone in the house? Kid’s desk, playroom, etc.?
Cb says
We had a 2×4 IKEA expedit in our old house and designated 1 cube for donations and 1 cube for things that needed to be returned/taken elsewhere which was really helpful. We don’t have the space now, and everything ends up on the bench where I’d quite like to sit to put my shoes on. We have a utility room just off the entrance and I should tidy this up and use that more.
I have a desk organiser for any paper that comes in the house and go through it periodically, but we don’t get any paper bills so aren’t talking about vast numbers. Ideally scissors, pens, tape, and nail clippers also go in there. We get so little mail, 90% junk, that sometimes I just leave it in the mailbox until there is a critical mass so I can recycle it all at once.
Anonymous says
1- stuff that needs to be sent back lives in my bedroom closet
2- sounds like random stuff to put in the garage
3- garage, basement, your bedroom
4- kids purses must go in kids rooms.
Kitchen- leave the art, get a tray for the bills
Anon says
Here’s what I do for some of the stuff:
– Stuff that was ordered online, needs to be sent back: I stick it in a laundry basket in my room or I process part of the return and stick it in the car. Then I drop it off in a batch if needed.
– A large package containing an unwrapped birthday gift: give it to the kid early
– two purses that belong to my daughters: hang on a hook on the wall
– 4 pieces of painted on paper: I tape everything to our walls for a week or two and then replace with other, newer art.
– Small stack of bills that need to be paid: I have a all mounted mail sorter from the container store in my entranceway (near hooks and stuff)
DLC says
I have much of the same homeless things as you. And more. So no really great suggestions, but…
Sometimes large things in transition live in the trunk of my car. Or they go in the attic storage space. Something like the Gap return would live in my bedroom.
I keep a binder for all my bills. It has dividers with folders and one of those three hole punches that fit in the binder. The unpaid stuff is in the folder and when it gets paid it gets hole punched and put in the binder.
CCLA says
Entry hall: I’d have the kids be responsible for the purses, but help them make a home – hooks in entry way or in their room. For packages, the stuff for mom, etc., realistically moving this stuff won’t happen every time you add something to the stack, but once a day or every couple of days, round that stuff up and move to garage/office/basement. Our returns live in trunk of car mostly because our garage is very small.
Kitchen: wall mounted letter rack or the like for bills, or even a letter tray, just somewhere for them to live, ideally near where you already keep them so it’s easy to get into the habit of keeping them there. Kid stuff, assuming at least school-aged, I’d make it their responsibility. My almost 5 yo’s nightstand drawer and top shelf of bookcase are filled with art projects. Eventually I’ll cull them with her but they’re contained in her room and out of the living area.
Living room: Blankets on the couch or in a basket. Heating pad – can you put it in your media console or some other closed door cabinet in that room? For the hole project supplies, I’d probably just live with it for the duration of the project if you’re really using it daily. You could always (broken record) use a basket!
Anonymous says
purses in kids rooms with the rest of their stuff
gap order goes in your room or office with the rest of your stuff
packages/leftovers from mom go into garage. (since you have a large sf house, i’m assuming you have a garage.)
artwork goes into kid’s room to dry. Or garage. Or taped to wall in hallway. (house rule: people’s stuff gets stored in their own spaces, not in general space. That goes for your gap orders, your daughter’s purses, and your kids artwork)
bills – into a folder, incoming tray, basket, wall holder, etc. next to wherever you pay them.
blankets. Do you mean actual blankets like the kind that go on beds? Or afghans or throws? I’d leave one decorative throw on the couch and store the rest in a giant basket.
putty stuff – snag a small box from one of those gap orders and pile it all in. box lives in laundry room and comes out when needed. it takes 30 seconds to walk to the utility room and pick up the box when it’s needed.
heating pad lives under the couch or in the giant basket
Anonanonanon says
Yes re: the house rule. Your stuff goes in your room.
I have a sideboard-type piece of furniture under my wall-mounted TV in the living room. Blankets that are sometimes used by the kids on the couch get folded up and put in there.
Orders that need to be returned stay in my bedroom until the night before they’re going out the door, then they’re boxed and put by the front door for me to remember to grab.
If the basket with the heating pad looks cluttery, get a basket with a lid.
Anon says
We are flying to visit family this summer. Family members have requested ideas for gifts. I appreciate them asking before springing something on us, but I’m stumped. I know you all would have suggestions. The gifts need to be able to be stashed in a suitcase or something that they can “use up” on our two week trip. Kids are almost five and two.
Anonymous says
Bubbles, sidewalk chalk, drawing supplies, stickers, t shirts from the locale, hats
Anonymous says
Will you be doing touristy stuff with the family? If so, the gift could be picking out a souvenir.
Anon says
+1
Anon. says
My four year old got a box of the easy to fill water balloons for his birthday. They were a huge hit and gone in 20 minutes.
Mathy says
We got this busy board for my 1.5yo daughter and she loves it – might be a fun thing that can occupy your 2yo (and maybe your 5yo?): https://www.amazon.com/HAN-MM-Montessori-Toddlers-Foldable-Activity/dp/B07XXZWM7Q/
anon says
Does the 2yo still put things in his/her mouth? My 3 and 5 yos get a lot of mileage out of the Melissa & Doug magnetic dressup dolls which aren’t too bulky to pack back home and can also be a good idependent toy to play with while visiting.
Anon says
We are visiting my inlaws now and this morning my MIl busted out some kind of painting book by Melissa and Doug that has paint on each page and all you need is water. Would be easy to use up there or pack to bring home. What i would not recommend is a stuffed animal that makes noise when you shake it for your kid to sleep with on vacation while sleeping in the same room as mom and dad…
CCLA says
Water wow books! My kids are similar age to OP and both adore those. Sticker books would be a hit and get used up quickly. For older kid I’d also consider a card game.
Anonymous says
Melissa and Doug has a lot of activity books that would be good – especially the reusable sticker ones for the older kid, Water Wow for the younger one. In general I would focus on travel gifts, like activity books/sets, wikki sticks, etc. Trains or matchbox cars if they are into that sort of thing. When my son was 2ish, I think we got some mileage out of the Lauri Toddler Tote. A paper airplane and/or origami book/kit might be good for the older one.
Anan says
If anyone is looking for a bigger gift, we often travel with mangnatiles or Magnaformers. I find small sets don’t take up much space relative to their entertainment value.
Anon says
I accidentally posted this on the main page but think it’s probably better here.
I’m a FTM and gave birth 7 weeks ago. I’ve always been kind of sensitive about certain textures. For example, as a kid I couldn’t ride in my dad’s car because the seats made me nauseous. I quit ballet because I refused to wear tights. But overall I grew into a relatively well-adjusted adult. However since my daughter was born my texture sensitivity has gotten almost unbearable. Wearing socks makes my skin crawl, I can’t stand Lululemon tights even though I lived in them during pregnancy, etc.
I asked my OB about the issue during my 6 week appointment and she just kind of shrugged and said she wasn’t aware of this being a thing. I think I probably I also have mild PPA, but nothing I’d see a mental health provider for otherwise. Has anyone experienced anything similar and, if so, did it eventually go away? Did you do anything to treat it? Trying to figure out next steps.
Reply
Anon says
I couldn’t stand wearing certain things that squeezed me or most underwear while pregnant and after birth. I would usually get up and take off my pajamas in the middle of the night. I didn’t get bloated while pregnant but it was kind of that same feeling of everything digging in. It did go away but I don’t remember how long it took. Sorry I don’t have any more useful info!
Anonymous says
I have generally find that sleep deprivation makes any sensitivity issues 1000x worse. In the newborn stage I absolutely had sensitivity issues from childhood resurface and the good news was that as I started to sleep again it did in fact improve!
Anon says
I have a son with Sensory Processing Disorder and filling out his evaluations made me aware that I have it as well. Clearly I have learned to cope as an adult (only buying textures that I can handle), but I will say mine did get worse when I was post-partum. I think the hormones gave me more anxiety, which made me more aware of how things felt on my body?
Mine went back to normal eventually, but I can’t recall how long it took!
Anonymous says
Maybe my post got eaten but short version is for me, sensory issues are highly exacerbated by sleep deprivation.
Anon says
I think this may be all or partially to blame on the postpartum hormones, PPA and/or sleep deprivation. I’d try a different OB or a mental health provider specializing in PPA.
AnonATL says
I wonder if this could be related to the concept of being “touched out” that a lot of people experience after giving birth and it’s just making sensory issues even worse. I struggled with PPA and not having something or someone constantly touching me was a huge part of it.
Anonanonanon says
Like most other people who have weighed in, I have distinct memories of waking up and stripping off my PJs etc in the post partum phase. I had just been so uncomfortable for so many months and was so exhausted that the thought of bearing something on my body that was uncomfortable was just too much. I remember wearing spanx under a dress to a meeting 2 hours away when my daughter was about 3 months old and suddenly freaking out on the drive back and pulling over at a truck stop to take them off and unzip the back of my dress and undo my bra because I suddenly couldn’t handle being squeezed by anything. (and calling my husband to tell him that, if something happened,the fact I had on no underwear was not what it looked like HAHA)
Anon says
I had a lot of weird feelings postpartum. Like, I remember not being able to handle tags in my underwear, etc. I also had weird tingling feelings. Pretty much everything went away by 12 weeks postpartum as I was not breastfeeding. (My OB said the hormones stay in your body for about 12 weeks but will stay longer if you are breastfeeding.)
Anon says
OP here. Thanks so much for the responses. I’m feeling heartened that others have had similar experiences.
fullofpears says
A friend is having a scheduled c section in a few weeks, so I’m planning on dropping off some food. Her partner will be home for a few weeks after, but I’m guessing will be pretty busy with their toddler.
Any suggestions for food? I’m thinking some sort of freezable entree (lasagne?) and some snacks.
Anon says
A fruit tray. Muffins. Anything that can be eaten one handed standing up
Aunt Jamesina says
I always make a quiche (good for any meal of the day, can be eaten hot or cold and with your hand if you’re determined) and cut up veggies, fruit, and cheese. Add in a bottle of wine if that’s their thing.
ElisaR says
i always buy a quiche at whole foods :)
DLC says
+1 to fruit! Is there a local farmer’s market? I would have been so happy if someone had brought me fresh summer produce from the farmer’s market when I was newly home with the baby. To be honest, we had a lot of prepared/freezer meals delivered and some days I just wanted a salad or fruit or something not cooked.
Anonymous says
Counterpoint – it will be hot summer and the probablem with a lot of freezable entrees is that they are “winter” food
My mom brought over salads and grilled chicken and that was awesome!! (The chicken pot pie my SIL dropped off got eaten like 3 months later)
In that vein – I recommend either grilled chicken, a grain salad, chicken or kabobs or something that are already marinated but uncooked (and frozen). Washed and cut up fruit would be amazing for the toddler too.
Anon Lawyer says
The best meal I got was all the stuff for a crab louie – fancy but easy to throw it all in a bowl and felt a little healthier. Agreed on hearty salads.
Anonanonanon says
I know they’re generally considered tacky but someone gave us a big edible arrangement after my C-section and I surprised myself by loving it? Everyone in the house appreciated having fresh fruit that required no preparation.
Anon says
Big jars of trail mix were my life saver. Grab and go, relatively healthy and filling.
AwayEmily says
+1. When my friends have babies I make them two things: (1) browned butter Rice Krispie Treats (recipe on Smitten Kitchen) and (2) a big bag of fancy homemade trail mix (basically I buy a bunch of good nuts and dried fruit from Trader Joes, then mix in the Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips).
anonM says
The trail mix is such a thoughtful, good idea! My friend bought us an easy frozen meal (frozen pasta and garlic bread) and it was a fav for me. Another go-to is (especially in the winter) is grapfruit green apple salad. You can add maraschino cherries, pomegranate seeds. It looks nice and it keeps well in the fridge for a few days.
Anon says
I need help with a very difficult situation with my toddler. He will turn 3 in mid-August. We started him in a new preschool about 6 weeks ago, after transitioning from a less structured program at a church. The new preschool takes itself very seriously as a school vs. just a daycare- follows a strict curriculum, follows a school year schedule, etc. He has been enrolled in “summer school” up to this point with the 2’s and would be promoted to the 3’s the last week of July.
He had a bit of a rocky start at the school that we (and as far as we knew, the teachers) wrote off as transition pains. Saying “no” and resisting transitions- what I thought was typical toddler defiance. This information was always conveyed in passing, in small comments like “DS didn’t have his listening ears on today”. My husband had to sign an incident report about 3 weeks ago after DS resisted a time out. He signed the paper and talked to the teacher, and that was that. Every time we have seen her since, she has indicated that our DS was doing well- literally her feedback has been that he’s her “little buddy,” that he does well with art time and really seems to enjoy arts and crafts, and that he has been having good days. He occasionally has a potty accident, but the teacher has indicated that this has been improving. There has been no indication whatsoever that there was any kind of unusual or serious issue.
Yesterday I received a call from the program director saying that DS’s “behavioral issues” indicate that he is “immature” and won’t be ready to move up to the 3’s class. She also said he has been struggling with some of the activities, such as tracing and “early handwriting”, and that he’s not completely potty trained (although she said she has heard this has gotten better). This is the first we’ve heard of him struggling with his tasks at school. She acknowledged that he is quite young for 3’s anyway, but that there is no room for him in the 2’s class. She said his last day will be on June 23. DH and I are shocked and devastated. We haven’t heard any kind of negative feedback about him in 3 weeks (and he’s only been there for 6 weeks). I asked why the school hadn’t warned us or indicated that there was a serious problem. The director said they would typically hold an intervention meeting before reaching expulsion, but that she had been “out” and given that my son was new to the school, they thought that wasn’t necessary. I asked if there was any way they could reconsider- my son has been very happy at this school, has learned a lot, and up until this point, we were confident it’s been going well. The director said she’d meet with her staff again and let us know.
I’m not sure what to do here. We are not local to this area, have no family support, and both work very demanding full time jobs. These are the options I see, but I’d be open to suggestions:
1) If the school is willing to reconsider, try to make this work and see what we can do to help our son with the issues they’ve described. This is my husband’s preference, but I’m not sure if I can ever trust this preschool again. I don’t want my son in a program where he’s not welcome.
2) Try to get him reenrolled in his previous daycare. It was not as enriching as we’d like, but was dependable and our son was fine there. He didn’t seem as happy at the previous daycare as he was at the preschool.
3) Try to find a new daycare/preschool that will take him. I’m afraid this might be difficult on short notice. We live in a small city with limited quality programs.
4) Look into some kind of other arrangement- nanny, in-home daycare, etc. I’m not sure how to start on this.
What would you do if you were me? I am highly emotional about this and could use some help thinking this through.
Anonymous says
I would pull him the second you can. He’s a normal child and this school is horrible. I’d first try old day care, a three year old is plenty enriched by normal play.
Anonymous says
This. Our very highly rated university day care didn’t have a “curriculum” until pre-K. It was all play, arts and crafts, etc.
Anon says
+1 3 year olds learn through play. He doesn’t need a curriculum and regular daycare should be much more understanding about this stuff. This school sounds awful. Sorry OP.
CCLA says
Yep. So sorry, that is bananas. Given how they’ve treated you, I wouldn’t consider option 1 (though if you’re in an immediate bind, I’d consider letting him ride out the next few days while you get your plans in order since it’s not a physical safety issue). What kind of place expels a 3 yo after 6 weeks with no warning? Also fwiw in the three childcare settings (one in home and two centers) we’ve gone through, none has ever done time outs.
I’d lean toward 3 and 4 for the time being, seems like it would be very confusing to a 3yo to go back to old school and you weren’t thrilled with it anyway, but I’d imagine you could frame it for him and it would be OK if needed. Remember that whatever you do for the next few months doesn’t have to last forever, he can be home with a nanny while you look for another center for instance.
Anonymous says
Agreed. We had a similar issue with our now 5-year-old who apparently wasn’t counting enough to be part of the 3s class, because the preschool’s director felt that all normal kids could count to 10 by the time they were 3. They also were completely unaccepting of normal 3-year-old behavior, and told us that he needed to be tested for developmental disabilities. I pulled him despite being very worried about finding somewhere new. It all worked out, and he’s been so much happier the past 2 years. The first daycare had already decided he was a problem, and I wasn’t going to let that follow my kid who had no hope of understanding other than to know that the adults there didn’t like him.
Yikes says
1000% agree. Pull your kiddo out as soon as you can. This school is not a fit. And they are awful. I have a 3-year old boy and this school sounds nightmarish.
Anon Lawyer says
They’re expelling him because a kid who isn’t yet 3 is struggling with early handwriting after 6 weeks? They sound bananas. Or they realized they messed up on enrollment and this is a convenient excuse to get the class sizes back down.
Nan says
This was my first thought too. I’m outraged on your behalf (and your son’s.). He’s 2 and all of the behaviors you’re describing are normal **especially** after a transition.
They either are trying to cover up an administrative mistake or they are just lazy and only want the easiest kids. Either way, I would take this to the top level of the school and also tell everyone I know about this – because this is so not okay.
Anonymous says
+1
This isn’t about your kid, they are having some sort of space/staff issues.
Anonymous says
My thought too – they overenrolled the class and is kicking out the newest kuds
Spirograph says
Same, based on what you wrote, my take was that they don’t have space and are prioritizing their longer term customers. This is not about your kid, but it still sucks.
I would look for a new daycare asap (and not put too high a premium on “enrichment” for a 3 year old), and I agree with everyone else who would badmouth them far and wide because I’m petty, too. If you can get back into the old school, that would be my first choice. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! it’s insane they’re giving you such short notice.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I think this place has already burned you (reasonably so) and it’s not a fit. If they had to have a rule where the 3s class is for fully potty trained, fine, whatever but this sounds incredibly subjective. FWIW I have a 3.5 year old, and I don’t know where he is when it comes to tracing/writing…
Make it work for now, but look for other arrangements. I’d also talk to the teacher directly to see IF there is anything else going on. This seems incredibly suspect of the school. DH has a nephew who had been asked to leave from certain programs around age 2-3, but his behavior was incredibly disruptive – to the point other kids couldn’t have turns speaking, playing, etc. – and not what you are describing. (FWIW, the nephew has ADHD and is now an awesome, smart 13-year-old).
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s really hard as a parent when folks you’re supposed to trust (e.g. school, pediatrician) are sh*tty.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that is a ridiculous situation. I would send him back to the prior daycare. I’d also be badmouthing that poorly run school to other people because I am petty AF.
octagon says
Hard same down to the pettiness. Also, if it’s any comfort, there was a 6-month stretch when kiddo was 2.5-3 where we got the “trouble listening” comment pretty much every day. I was so frustrated but when I talked to the teachers, they were like, it’s normal, it will work itself out, we just want you to know so that we are all on the same page. (And it’s better now.) Did you have any indication from the teachers beyond the daily reports that this was on the horizon?
WHAT!! says
This is not your kid, this is the school. That is not an acceptable way to treat a 2 year old (not to mention parents!) The idea that your son cannot be in the 3 year old class because of “immaturity” and early writing skills is honestly absurd. He’s 2! I am so angry on your behalf.
I’d talk to everyone I could at the school, and I would not be overly nice about it either. It sounds like they are lazy and making excuses
Part of me wonders if they took too many 3 year olds by mistake or something along those lines and are trying to CYA by blaming your child.
Whatever you do, I would write an online review – and I never do that. But they’ve put you in a horrible position and their reputation should reflect this kind of decision.
Walnut says
Honestly, this sounds like the administrators were over capacity in the three year old room and needed to come up with a way of cutting a kid.
Anonymous says
+1. Easiest to cut the new kid.
I wouldn’t fight to keep him there, as they will probably continue to pull stunts like this.
ElisaR says
yup
Anonymous says
… or someone they think is more “important” (sibling of current student, etc.) wanted a spot for a 3-year-old.
Anon says
Agree 1000%. It’s not your son or even some of the unreasonable expectations they’ve placed on him. It’s a space issue for whatever reason and that’s why you’ve been given no notice with baffling, bizarre reasons. Negotiate with the school to keep him there longer if that buys you more time to find other care and then pull him when you have that care…but DO NOT second guess your child’s development or your parenting or whatever. This school sounds like a mess.
AwayEmily says
I agree that this school sounds Not Great. They’re making him do tracing and “early handwriting” and he’s not even 3? I’m lucky if my 3.5 year old can manage to get his crayon mark onto the table instead of the paper. It seems like they are expecting an unreasonable amount from very small kiddos. I agree with other commenters that at this age it should be all about play and navigating social relationships, and the teachers should be slowly *teaching* him to listen/transition/etc, not just expecting it to happen automatically. This place needs less “curriculum” and more caring.
It’s also just a really bad sign that they would spring this on you, and I think does not speak well of their approach or their communication strategies. Just a LOT of red flags for me here. Agreed it would be tough to trust them after this. I would send him back to the old place, and meanwhile start putting your name in anywhere else you think might be a good fit.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m really sorry. I would also remove him for a ton of reasons, the first one being that this school sucks. Research does not support pushing early reading and writing skills on children.
Anon says
+1. Everything the school is doing sounds incredibly inappropriate for two-year-olds, including the forced time out. Find a play based program or daycare, and revisit the academics when he’s 4
anon says
This is bananas. Get out.
Anonymous says
This is crazy and it is definitely a them problem, not your son. I would start with #2 while you work on #3, only because you said your son liked his preschool better, not because I think a 3 year old needs to be doing much beyond playing. I think there is a wide range of what daycare means, and it’s possible yours is better for younger kids. At 3, my son was in a mixed-age (birth to 4ish) small family daycare half the time, and in a play-based preschool for 3-4 year olds the other time. He definitely preferred the preschool because the toys were more exciting for him at his age, and the teachers could do more interesting activities with the kids and take field trips because they weren’t dealing with napping infants, etc. The preschool could only offer part-time though, so we did a mix until he could go 5 days a week. At 3 your son would probably like to be around other kids, so that is why I am not advocating for 4.
Anonymous says
So I agree with everyone- this is bonkers and not the school for you.
Before leaving, it might be worth having an in person (or face to face on zoom if you have to) meeting with the director and teacher to go over it all and take in what they say. Is it possible there are some behavioral red flags here that you and DH should take note of? I don’t mean “your kid is broken, the school is right” but I’m wondering if they did a poor job or recognizing and handling behavior that could benefit from either a specific type of learning/program, early intervention, etc.
I would use the meeting to listen and collect specific example/facts. Then GTFO and find a new program. If you start hearing similar (but kinder, gentler) themes from the new place, you’ll have a better idea of when things started.
Our neighbor has a kid that is now 6 and since he was a young 3 they’ve been chasing various diagnoses tied to sudden onset abnormal (for him) behavior. He’s been uncontrollable, even violent, and even he has not gotten kicked out of programs!
Anonymous says
Is it *possible* that what the director was trying to say was that she didn’t feel your son was ready for the 3s program?
If the feedback were that he needs to stay in the 2s, would you feel so caught off guard? I’m wondering if you need to tease apart “he isn’t ready for the 3s program” from “we don’t have room for him in the 2s program.” And plan your next move accordingly. You don’t want to put him in a 3s program elsewhere and have him struggle.
Either way, the delivery was terrible. My kids went to a preschool with the worlds best teachers but the director had the people and communication skills of a stale pancake. I worked with the board for several years to help her improve and it was still…lacking.
Anon Lawyer says
If they had stringent requirements about things like tracing for entry to the 3s program and no long-term room in the 2s program, that needed to be clear upfront though. And if they do have those requirements, that’s probably not a great sign about the program. Most 3s programs do not let kids struggle because of pre-handwriting curriculum.
Anon says
Agree, I think requiring kids to have any kind of handwriting skills to enter a 3 year old classroom is insane and goes against all the science about child development. Potty training requirements are more common but a lot of doctors think that’s really inappropriate too because not all just turned 3 year olds are ready for potty training. I read an article from a urologist about how it’s bad that we force many kids to train before they’re really ready. This school sounds awful to me, even if they weren’t expelling your son. My kid is in a university run daycare that’s completely play-based with mixed age rooms and the kids are so happy and thriving, and end up completely prepared for K without any formal curriculum. An academic curriculum is totally unnecessary and for a 2 year old it’s actively harmful.
Anonymous says
I was the one suggesting the follow up but I do want to say that perhaps it’s not really about “early handwriting” (yes, that’s nuts). Following directions, participating, etc. are likely part of the problem more so than actual ability to grasp a pencil and draw lines.
Anonanonanon says
Um this is AWFUL! I’m so sorry!
I feel your stress of no local family and two high-demand jobs. I would tell them that you understand their concerns, but are very unsettled by the lack of notice and lack of interest in helping your son improve. This is clearly not the right fit given those issues. However, because this has come with no warning, you request flexibility on the end date and request they allow him to continue until you identify a different school, which you will work diligently to do.
AnotherAnon says
+1000 on get out. Once you find him a new situation, something I’d encourage you to do is write an honest review of the day care you’re leaving. You may also let the director know you will be doing this. I personally am seeing red on your behalf, but honestly there are so many red flags in what you wrote here that I’d want to know all this as a prospective parent in this program. I’m so sorry this happened to your son. He sounds perfectly normal and I hope you find the fun, nurturing care situation that he deserves.
EDAnon says
I have a kid with a late August birthday and his school wanted to hold him back when he was supposed to go into the preschool room. It was TOTALLY a space issue and they were clear about that (though also said he was young for the room). I pushed back hard (we had been there for years) and he moved up when some older kids left.
He’s done fine though he IS young for the class (which is just the challenge of his birth month). We are holding him from K, though, because he is not ready to go from the social/emotional side. That may end up being the case for your kid, too, but I don’t see it as a big deal and shouldn’t impact his preschool life (for us, we really wanted him to stay with his friends which COVID ended up ruining anyway but it made sense at the time).
I hate when directors make things about kids when they’re about operations. I have had it happen on other things and it drives me crazy!
Anonymous says
Gah, I’m so angry for you at this part: “The director said they would typically hold an intervention meeting before reaching expulsion, but that she had been “out” and given that my son was new to the school, they thought that wasn’t necessary.”
Surely the director understands that most parents put their 2-3 year olds in a full day (assuming) preschool program because they need *childcare* not for the educational benefit. Why the !!! would that change because he’s only been there 6 weeks? And surely they know that the market is tight and waitlists are long and they’re putting you in an incredible bind. Do their policies say they can kick you out with 2 weeks notice for no documented reason, with no prior warnings? I bet you would need to give more than 2 weeks notice to unenroll without financial penalty. I’m not normally confrontational, but I would raise such a stink about this…
Anonymous says
That statement in particular (no notice needed because the child is new) sure makes it sound like a space issue.
EDAnon says
I agree.
Anon says
Help me with birthday gifts for my five year old! He has an older sister so we have a lot of general stuff. Ideas so far are: osmo extension games, “water squirters” and a beginning golf club set from his grandparents. We have several extended family members asking and not sure what to tell them. He likes puzzles but we have a bunch, likes mazes so his godmothers getting him a maze book, loves books but we tend to buy a bunch at the library sale and he’s pretty set there… we have memberships already.
Anon says
I often will ask for outdoor clothing – fun baseball hats, winter mittens and hats and scarves, rain jackets and pants, fleeces. Umbrellas are very popular. Also – all the outdoor sports stuff – soccer ball, basketball, baseball glove and mitt, etc.
Outdoor accessories? New bike helmet or lifejacket?
Anonymous says
This is the age my son became all LEGOs, all the time. (But at age 9 he’s suddenly over them! I can’t adapt). He also liked Snap Circuits around that age.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 5 year old has also really gotten into legos and he especially likes the sets where he follows directions to build an end product. Extended family can each get a different set to build. He also still likes to play with his trains so we got him some train accessories. And a marble maze if you don’t already have one.
OP says
How have I not thought of legos?! Will also look into snap circuits!
ElisaR says
my 5 yr olds favorite birthday gift was a wild kratts creature power vest and creature power disks (he pronounces them dix which is adorable). he’s a big fan of the show, so this is kinda kid specific.
Anon. says
Thanks for letting me know this exists. Just added to my obsessed 4-yr old Christmas List on Amazon.
Anon says
My boys love playmobil, and starting at age 4 my older one picked a truck to get each birthday. It is usually his gift from us, though; possibly could get pricey for extended relatives
Lego also makes some great small sets for ages 5+. Lots of vehicles
Curious says
Robot turtles! My 5 year old nephew loves that game.
GCA says
In the same vein, 5 with older sibling is a great age for board games! Dragomino (the kid version of Kingdomino) and My Little Scythe would probably be enjoyable for both kids.
Anonymous says
Legos, train stuff, play kitchen stuff, costume box
Anonymous says
Besides legos (you can never have too many), which I highly recommend, board and/or card games, science kit, and craft kit.