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Sadly, my summer vacation does not involve a remote tropical isle, but I can look like it did. I just add a dab of Drunk Elephant’s D-Bronzi Anti-Pollution Bronzing Drops to my moisturizer for a subtle, I-just-came-back-from-the-beach glow.
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The serum is $36 and available at Sephora.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
fallen says
Help me solve this dilemma. I enrolled my son for a FT preschool starting 8/3. A better one ended up having a spot (I just liked it a lot more and it is walking distance to us vs. a 15-20 minute drive, so totally worth the hassle), but it does a school year thing and starts on 9/1.. Unfortunately I already told my nanny the 8/3 date and she found another job starting on 8/3. Help me figure out what to do with my three year old son for a month (I also have an 8 year old daughter if it matters, but she’s doing camp). Here is what I thought of so far, what would you do/any better ideas?
1. Both my partner and I take a few weeks off, and we both take a one week vacation all together. This is not a huge issue for us with our jobs, totally doable, just slightly inconvenient (e.g., we may need to work weekends and stuff for a bit to catch up).
2. The preschool is OK with him starting with the previous class (they have a school-year calendar). I am not keen on this because it would mean him switching teachers/classmates (and he’s only 3 / never been to school before). They confirmed the classmates would be different and the teachers *May* be different.
3. Try to work out a nanny share for that month with the new family. My nanny is cool with this and it would be my first choice, but I can see the other family not wanting that (Idk if I would in their situation).
4. Find someone else for a month (e.g., a local college or high school student). May be hard but the advantage is then I have a back-up/date night sitter. But may be too confusing for him.
Anonymous says
I would do #2. An extra classroom transition is by far the least disruptive thing among the alternatives you list.
Hmmm says
Agreed. Classroom transitions have never been as hard as we expected (vs switching schools altogether, which was extremely rough.)
Anon says
I agree that classroom transitions have never been particularly hard, but I disagree that it’s the least disruptive option. Given that kiddo has had a nanny until now, starting school will definitely be a big transition. Being home with family or a college sitter for the extra month seems like a natural extension of the nanny and not a hard transition. Nanny share with the current nanny would probably be the easiest from kid’s point of view, but seems like way too much work to me.
Anonymous says
I am thinking about disruption for the whole family, not just for kiddo. I would also argue that a switch to a college nanny and then to school is more disruptive than starting school and then changing classrooms even just from kiddo’s perspective. My kid absolutely detested getting to know new one-on-one caregivers and had an easier adjustment in group settings. Somehow she felt safer in group of new people than alone with a new caregiver.
Anonymous says
2. Plus a bit of one. Take a week family vacation, alternate Fridays off with your spouse, and tell him it is camp just like big sis, and he’ll be starting school in September.
Anon says
I would do 1 and/or 4 (I think you could combine them pretty easily, by taking some time off work but also hiring a sitter part-time, but either seems like a good stand alone option also). I think my daughter is better with transitions than most, but it still took her several weeks to adapt to the routine of going to school and changing classrooms and teachers *right* when he’s getting adjusted to school would be really tough. If he could go for 2-3 months before switching rooms, my answer might be different, but switching 4 weeks after starting school (especially if you’ve missed some school for a family vacation in those 4 weeks) just seems like a nightmare.
Anonymous says
Agree. Before I read your list, I thought college student sitter/short-term nanny.
#3 sounds like a lot of work for a month.
CCLA says
Agree with this.
Anonymous says
Get a college sitter for a couple weeks. Wing it for the rest.
CHL says
2 or 4 — but I think the important part to remember is that this will be a very short period in the scheme of things so just pick one and don’t look back.
Pogo says
+1, the classroom transitions part is not a huge deal. It will be a transition no matter what you do.
AnotherAnon says
I vote 1 with a little of 4 but just want to echo that these all seem like good options. I personally wouldn’t choose to switch schools one month in, but if you choose that it will be ok. Now that I’ve said that, we moved when my oldest was 18 months, he went to “day care from hell” for a month and then I moved him to a lovely day care where all three of my kids go now. Kids are resilient.
Tea/Coffee says
I vote #1 as long as it’s actually doable for you and DH. How late do your kids sleep? I can get a surprising amount of work done before my kids are awake (it’s probably bc everyone’s asleep and not wanting meetings lol so YMMV).
Or what if you and DH split AM/PM? Very very job dependent.
Would he be okay in a one week camp (or, multiple sessions of a one week camp)? May be tough to find but I bet there are spots available.
anon says
Combination of 1 and 4. When I’ve looked in this situation, college students were available in August (before school starts again) and I was able to find someone who could do a couple of weeks.
potty talk says
Looking for a 2nd potty that can be used for travel to my parents’ house. Perhaps that also has a removable insert for clipping onto toilet? We already own Baby Bjorn potty. Thanks for any recs!
Anon says
Potette plus! It can be put over a toilet and can be used by itself (my kid is currently in a phase where she always needs to go to the bathroom at the playground . . . )
Clementine says
OXO 2 in 1 Go potty. It’s a travel potty (pee into a bag with a pad) that has gotten us through the pandemic AND it functions as the ‘little seat’ to put on the big potty.
It’s one of the products that has 100% gotten us through the pandemic.
Pogo says
We used this one for a bit when LO was scared of ‘big potties’. We took it along as use as an insert at our vacation house, but he never wanted to use it. Just used the big potty.
CCLA says
We have three of these (one in each car plus in main stroller) and while we mainly use for potty training younger DD, even almost 5yo DD still uses it occasionally on long road trips. Highly recommend. We mostly use it standalone but the seat topper works fine too and would be good for use while visiting gpts.
Road Trip Advice says
I’m in need of some of your excellent advice! I have to take my 17 month old on a 4.5 hour road trip, by myself (so nobody in the backseat to assist the LO with activities, food, etc.). I’m planning to start right when her usual morning nap is (usually an hour), plan to stop halfway for lunch/get wiggles out, and hopefully part of the remainder of the trip will be an afternoon nap (which she does not always take). What about the rest of the time? How do I keep her entertained/not fussy? Should I stop more often (may have to be the side of the road- most of the route is through forest and not towns). I was thinking about getting some sort of mount for a table to play Sesame Street but we’ve never done that (and the few times we’ve had the TV on with her around, it only keeps her focus/engagement for about 5 minute or less bursts, and then she’s off doing something else). I’ll bring toys but she’s big into throwing toys right now, then will fuss if she can’t reach them from her car seat. Help!
Anonymous says
I would do the drive at night, after she goes to bed, or starting ~7pm. That’s a miserable age for car travel, much less solo car travel.
If you have to do it while she’s awake, I’d get a tablet or some other media. I hate screens but for a solo road trip you need to focus on driving.
Anon says
Only if you know your kid will sleep in the car. Some kids won’t, or won’t sleep until they’re utterly exhausted, and driving with a cranky sleep-deprived kid who wants to be asleep but won’t go to sleep is much worse than driving with a happy, well-rested kid.
Anon says
I think this is an unpopular opinion, but I’m team Don’t Stop Unless the Adults Need a Bathroom Break. For me, once my kid gets a taste of freedom, she melts down when we tell her to get back in the carseat, so it’s easier to just do the whole thing in one haul. When we do have to stop for adults, we keep it really quick and generally don’t let her out of the carseat. I think you can probably do 4.5 hours without stopping pretty easily, and for me at least it would be a lot easier to do it all at once than break it into two or more stretches with a stop in between.
I did a similar length drive solo at that age and it was surprisingly easy. I brought lots of books and toys. She did throw them, but there was a huge bin next to her so when she threw one she just picked up a new one (she was too young to freak out about not having a particular toy, thankfully). We got to the last toy right around hour 5 of the drive. I don’t think a tablet would work well at this age, because it likely won’t hold her attention for long. I’m also kind of nervous to use a tablet without a parent around to help operate it because if it freezes or something like that it can cause way more drama than not having a tablet in the first place.
Anonymous says
Hahahahahaha so jealous of your bladder I need to stop three times on that length of trip.
Anon says
…you need to pee every hour?
Anonymous says
Yeah! Mostly. I hydrate a lot. I could probably do stops at 1.5 hours, 3, and then I’d stop at 4 just in case.
AwayEmily says
I commented below about pushing through without stopping…I’m like you normally, I drink a LOT of water and use the bathroom frequently as well. But on car trips I deliberately limit myself, and find that if I do that I can go for as many as six hours without stopping. Probably not the healthiest to do frequently, but worth it for surviving a car trip with small kids.
Anon says
I admit I have a bigger bladder than most (I can actually go more like 6-7 hours) but I don’t think it’s that strange to be able to go 4 hours without peeing? My husband drinks an insane amount of water (like double the recommended daily intake) and even he can make it about 4 hours. Anyway, I said stop briefly when the adults need a bathroom break. I just don’t believe in stopping to run around and play, because it lengthens the trip unnecessarily and my kid at least is miserable having to go back in the seat after getting a glimpse of freedom.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I recommend wearing stretchy pants that don’t press on your bladder and limiting drink intake. I normally have lots of water and pee a lot, but made it about 3 hours on a recent drive without stopping. Could probably have done 4 if needed. In your situation, I’d recommend stopping for lunch once, maybe toward the end of the 4.5 hour trip, and then going straight through until the end.
AwayEmily says
After trying it both ways, I am also strongly on this team. Stopping just drags it out. Also agreed on tablet being more trouble than it’s worth when she accidentally drops it/it freezes/etc.
Only other rec is lots of Raffi; it seems to tame my feral car children surprisingly well.
Anonanonanon says
Agreed. Stopping drags it out, and kids that young thing the trip is “over” because you got them out of the car and then are angry when you have to shove them back into the car seat.
Anonymous says
for one roadtrip I put a pillow between the car seat and the door so that at least toys couldn’t fall into the abyss that way. Best of luck – longest I have done solo is only 1.5 hours.
Anonymous says
We did a 6-hour road trip with my then 16 month old last year. We just did two stops, a big one for lunch and running around and another quick diaper change/snack break. He had some board books and stuffed animals within reach, but we didn’t do any video. We listened to some Raffi and talked about the scenery, plus he slept a lot.
AnotherAnon says
Grandma lives 4.5 hours away, so we’ve been making that trip since my now 4 y/o was 6 weeks. My advice: your schedule sounds good, except don’t stop again after lunch if you can help it. Be prepared for some fussing and just repeat “I know you’re done honey. We’re almost there.” It’s ok for your kid to fuss for half an hour or longer. IME getting them out for a break only makes it worse. Also, you don’t mention traffic but depending on when we leave, stopping can easily turn 4.5 hours into a 6 hour trip by hitting traffic. Good luck!
Pogo says
From reading here I think my kids are just uncharacteristically good in the car, but I would also limit to maybe one stop, if that, and just have a lot of snacks handy to pass back to kiddo. Also tablet worked a little for us at that age, I got an app that lets them pop bubbles. Big hit. I wouldn’t worry about mounting it just get a case that protects it and then they can drop etc and its ok.
We also do “kid music”. My kid likes to play DJ and request various songs, so I have a playlist of Greatest Hits that way I can easily adjust from the steering wheel controls when I’m solo.
Anonymous says
For those who minimize stops, don’t you worry about blood clots? I like to hydrate well and stop every 2 hours or so just because I’m worried about blood clots. I’ve known too many people who experienced pulmonary embolisms.
Anonymous says
I never did but I recently discovered I’m predisposed to getting them (factor v leiden) and now I’m taking them seriously. I’ve also read that it’s bad for kids to stay in their car seats for more than two hours without a break, but I honestly can’t remember the logic (safeintheseat account on instagram).
Anon says
Apparently they’re just not supposed to be in the carseat more than 2 hours, period. Breaks don’t matter, the total time in the carseat isn’t supposed to exceed 2 hours in any 24 hour period. I don’t know anyone who followed this rule and it seems really excessive to me, particularly once a baby is 6 months+. https://www.motherandbaby.co.uk/first-year/baby/safety/how-long-can-baby-be-in-car-seat
Anon says
No. I have no family history of clots and am not on hormonal birth control. I fly a lot and my understanding is that flights are way more dangerous than car trips in that regard. I have heard not to keep babies in car seats for more than 2 hours but we didn’t do a drive longer than that until my kid was almost 18 months (because she hated the car seat when she was really little). I thought it was because of suffocation, not blood clots, and was mostly a concern for newborns.
Leatty says
It’s totally normal to have a constant internal war over whether to lean in or lean out, right? I’ve always been a very driven person, and while rationally I should lean out right now since I have two little kids and a spouse with some health issues, I can’t seem to completely turn off the part of me that is driven to succeed. I’m good at what I do, which means that I get rewarded with more work. I have the opportunity to be promoted (which is hard to do at my level), and I change my mind 100 times/day about whether I should go for it. On the one hand, it would be a pretty significant comp increase (which might finally allow me to pay off my student loans), it would provide much more exposure at the senior level, and it’s an important role that I know I would succeed in. On the other hand, I have imposter syndrome, great visibility sucks when you make a mistake, it would be higher stress, and well, I’m tired. There’s a part of me that wants to go for it, and another part that daydreams about finding another job and leaning waaaaaay out (which, frankly, I don’t think I’m even capable of doing).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I feel this all the time. I know that I’m good at my job, and could be good at the next level up and believe that there should be more people like me at the higher level (i.e. value caregiving and time away from work, care about employees, etc.) but at the same time I’m nervous about the additional work and responsibility. But I’m ambitious too and don’t think I would like a role where I just coast and don’t challenge myself for the next 15-20 years. I have two small kids too, who exhaust me, and while I think in some ways, them being older will give me more time, I also think they’ll need ME (not another caregiver) more when they’re pre-teens/teens.
So yeah, no answers, but you’re not alone.
anne-on says
This. I am tired, my husband has the ‘big’ job, but darn it I like my job and I worked hard to get here and I *want* to do well too. It is REALLY strange to mentally accept that at my age (late 30’s) I AM old enough to be the manager, companies NEED more working women who are concerned about work/life balance, and if I don’t take these roles when they’re offered to me (even if it is a bit earlier than I might want) they simply might not be there later.
Fwiw, in the 2010’s I saw this with colleagues 5-10 years older than me. They passed up the opportunities for the bigger jobs because they didn’t feel ready/had younger kids, someone else took them, and then those roles just weren’t open when they were ready. It really set them back professionally and they’ve said if they had it to do over again they would go for it. You can always step back, but it’s hard to make up ground if you change your mind.
Anonymous says
Why “should” you lean out because you have 2 young kids? How does you not going for it professionally help your spouse with health issues? You sound like you really want this job and I think you should go for it.
Clementine says
GIrl, same. I was thinking about it this morning – did I stop being ambitious? Or did I make a (rational) decision that with a spouse who has an inflexible job, I needed to stay in a gig that lets me consistently leave by daycare/aftercare pickup time?
I think that just as much as you should be able to ‘go for it’ I will also be the other voice saying, there are times in our life where it’s rational to just… tread water a little. I have at least 25 years of working left. I don’t know that I want to be totally maxed out for all of that time.
But also: maybe I should apply too… Short version: Totally 400% with you.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand why the answer is you sacrificing your job instead of your spouse changing their job to one that permits them to more equitably share responsibility for their family.
Anon says
You don’t have to understand. It’s not your marriage. Every team gets to decide what works best for their team.
Anonymous says
Sure they do. But if you want to share it with the rest of us, people are going to have opinions. Women putting their careers second because their male spouses refuse to equitably contribute to their families isn’t some personal unique thing happening in a vacuum.
Anon says
+1 to Anon at 10:40. If you share, people will have opinions. Plus it’s pretty clearly not working best for both of them. Her tone in this comment and others is very much not “my career is subservient to my husband’s and I’m delighted about it!”
No Face says
You are not required to lean out because you have little kids. I say go for it, and use the extra money to help with the kids and spouse’s health issues.
But to answer your question, I debate about whether to stay at home frequently.
Pogo says
Yep. I am just on team Fake it Til You Make It and “do your best which is probably still better than everyone else’s 80% and see if they fire you”.
I made the leap, and am on track to make director in a few years (pending my success in current role, still a BIG if). It’s been hard but I’m REALLY enjoying my work and my team and even the personnel challenges are interesting to me (I have the largest team I’ve ever had). Because of my comp increase, I have leaned in to paying for help while I lean in at work. Of course I still feel like I’m not giving it 100% at home or work but I think I would feel that way no matter what, and I realized, why not give it a try. The worst that happens is then I coast in this job and never move up. But if I kept coasting in old job (very attractive prospect) I would never have known if I could have done it, you know?
Also the overachiever in me is loving all the accolades and increased visibility. It feels good to be in it. Don’t underestimate what that can do for your mood, self-esteem, etc as a driven person.
Nonnymouse says
Same. Two young kids (one of which is “spirited”) and a husband with chronic health problems but solid government income. Being laid off during the pandemic from an intense job, I took the unemployment and then moved into a part-time consulting role. I’m at a decision point too but here is what I learned. 1) Consider what that extra income can buy you now. Not just paying down the loans but the extra childcare/housekeeping/lawn care services. I do way more house related tasks now and I resent it. I also get worn out down by my kids in a way that work never made me tired. Part time preschool is no substitute for full time daycare! 2) how much of your identity is tied up in your job. I was surprised how much I missed leading a team on really challenging asks even though I have some mental stimulation with the consulting work. Being laid off was kind of a blessing in that I was very tired of holding everything together. However, one year into this I am still tired, so I’m not sure the job was the issue! ) 3) if your husband is like mine, he’s not going to be able to work until the usual retirement age. Your ability to be employable is extra important to your family’s financial security. Be sure to have a plan for what this looks like/how he can retire early and you won’t be working forever. 4) Imposter syndrome- I get it. I take myself out of the running for things because I am afraid of what might happen if I get them and then need to succeed. It is a form of self sabotage and it is not helpful.
This internet stranger thinks you should go for the new role. If you don’t get it, see if there’s another company that’s a better fit for your desired lifestyle.
anon says
Go for it! You’ll regret it if you don’t. Like with all things in life, you’ll figure out how to make it work when you have to, whether that’s getting your husband to shoulder more or throwing money at it. Nothing compares to feeling fulfilled in your job. And if you are naturally a high achiever/dreamer, you’ll always be that way. Better to be sometimes stressed at making it work, than disappointed and regretful.
Anonymous says
If your spouse has chronic health issues, wouldn’t you want to maximize your income in case you have to become the sole earner? That has always been our strategy. I don’t like it because I’d prefer to lean out, but to us it seems the best way to minimize risk.
Anon says
It sounds like you want to go for it so I say go for it! Also, if it comes with a significant comp increase, I’m going to put in a plug for allocating a large chunk of that comp increase to making your life easier (extend daycare hours, get a part time nanny somewhat regularly, hire a housekeeper to come more frequently, outsource food or literally anything). As someone who is ambitious but also wants time with my young kids, let me tell you how happy this arrangement makes me. The confidence, happiness boost I get from doing a job that I know I do well (even on days with strong imposter syndrome) is huge and makes me a better parent. The extra funds my senior level comp provides also makes my life easier and takes away a lot of the drudgery that makes being a parent exhausting. Spending 30 minutes playing trucks with my kid is rejuvenating and fun. Doing laundry for those 30 minutes was draining. Getting a housekeeper who does our laundry was a big game changer.
Anonymous says
SAAAAAAME. So tired. However:
If your friend asked you this question, I think that you would tell her to go for it. SO, my advice (from your internet stranger friend) is to go for the job. Imposter syndrome probably means that the role is actually perfect for you. You also said: “It Is an important role that I know I would succeed in.” YOU CAN DO THIS.
In line with the posters below: does anyone remember what being 4 was actually like? Your kids aren’t going to notice you being gone now. Work up your seniority now and fight for flexibility later. :)
Anonymous says
Most of what I remember from when I was 4 happened at preschool!
OP says
Thanks everyone for your thoughts! I’m going to apply. If I get it, DH and I have agreed to outsource more to make things bearable. If I don’t, at least I won’t live with the regret.
Curious says
Yessss!
Anon says
What’s popular for bookbags for elementary school boys?
EP-er says
We always like either Land’s End or LL Bean… but my son likes plain things. (5 plain blue shirts, because that is all he would wear for a whole school year!) We usually get at least 2 years out of them, sometimes 3. The Pottery Barn ones are also popular, if he is into prints, but I can’t speak to the durability.
anon says
We did PB kids until gr 3 and then LL Bean.
Beans says
PB Kids for first couple of years, but now moved to UnderArmour.
State bags experience? says
Any reviews on state bags backpacks? Thinking of one for my first grader…
Her pbkids lunchbox did not hold up well this year so want to do something different than that
AwayEmily says
I saw them mentioned in the Wirecutter roundup of kids backpacks, so could be worth checking the comments there. They are super cute.
Anon says
My about to turn five year old is obsessed with octonauts. Any good octonauts toys or products I could get him for his bday? I was sort of unenthused by just searching Amazon – he’s not super into action figures.
Cb says
A friend has the octonaut submarine, but I wonder if he might like some more general underwater exploring stuff, the big sea creatures you get at museums etc.
SBJ says
My 5 yo is also obsessed with Octonauts and I’m similarly unenthused by the available toys. We’ve gotten a ton of mileage, however, out of ocean animal stuffed animals, as Cb suggests. Octopus, narwhal, whale, plus a huge wishlist of more… I highly, highly recommend stuffedsafari dot com for more unusual sea creatures! There are also Octonaut books (it started as books), and my kid is really into books about the ocean now. We really like Children’s Encyclopedia of Ocean Life, Ocean Secrets of the Deep, and Let’s Dive: Into the Ocean. My kid would probably flip to get actual Octonauts toys, but all of the above options seem to suffice!
AwayEmily says
Can we talk snacks? Now that it’s high summer we are doing a lot of playground/beach/hike outings and my snack game is not great. Usually it’s one container full of apple sticks (for some reason my kids will eat WAY more apples when they are cut into “sticks” than slices) and one container full of goldfish crackers.
So, what do you bring for snacks? Bonus points for ready-to-eat stuff (sometimes I have the time to cut up carrots but let’s be honest usually I am more of a “grab some applesauce pouches on the way out the door” person). Are there “bars” or something similar your kids like and aren’t total sugar bombs? An exciting new cracker that I can pretend to myself is healthy? A type of cheese stick that my 5yo will not reject?
Cb says
We like the date bars, they aren’t sugar free, but are a good source of fiber. I get them at Aldi but I am sure they are everywhere. Kiddo likes nature valley peanut butter bars, dried apricots and apples, etc.
anon says
I find it worthwhile to spend some time on a weekend prepping snacks (usually healthy mini muffins) and then I’ll toss those in a container with some fruit or veggies. Berries or pre-cut fruit are great because they have no prep, but I’ll also slice carrots or peppers or cucumbers.
Anonymous says
So I’ve recently come to accept that during summer, snacks won’t be as ideal as I’d like. There are more of them and they’re typically more processed for convenience than I’d like. I try to care about sugar more than white, processed grains and remind myself that I’ll have more control when school starts again and kiddo can’t snack all day long. A few favorites at my house right now:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Nabisco-Savory-Variety-Snack-Pack-18-75-Oz-20-Count/35176560 This snack pack is low in sugar. The Wheat Thins have some but are also whole grain, so I figure it is a wash. Each package is 0-4 grams of sugar I think.
We also like Kind Mini bars, but they’ll vary in sugar anywhere from 2-4 grams per mini bar based on the ones I’ve seen. We’re currently really into these: https://www.amazon.com/Kind-Snacks-Minis-Variety-Pack/dp/B07W3YQDX9/ref=asc_df_B07W3YQDX9/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=385577222554&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11939571187986792824&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018682&hvtargid=pla-857382975274&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=75443494941&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=385577222554&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11939571187986792824&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018682&hvtargid=pla-857382975274
We also really like That’s It bars. https://www.amazon.com/Thats-Fruit-Natural-Gluten-Free-Snacks/dp/B07VFY3T2S/ref=asc_df_B07VFY3T2S/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=366300954186&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3808872064957525964&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018682&hvtargid=pla-815555544138&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=75066899974&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=366300954186&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3808872064957525964&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018682&hvtargid=pla-815555544138
Also bananas and string cheese. Freeze dried fruit (Target’s house brand has some good strawberry ones). You could also consider buying a pre-cut veggie tray from the grocery store to eat off of for the week.
Anonymous says
Your snack game is not broken, don’t fix it! You don’t need to provide more exotic or complicated snacks. Resist the pressure!
NYCer says
+1. Your snacks sound great to me.
In case you want a couple other ideas:
– Pecan pieces and raisins (weirdly, both my kids really love this combo)
– Ak-mak crackers
– Babybel cheese
– Hardboiled eggs
Anonymous says
Yeeeeesssss love ak-maks!!!
But sadly my kids got introduced to other crackers at preschool and now won’t eat them.
AwayEmily says
You are the best — this is an excellent point to not overthink it. My concern is less that my snacks aren’t fancy enough and more that my children are starting to murmur about being sick of goldfish (how this is possible I do not know, I could eat goldfish for every meal and be happy. So salty, so good).
Anon says
Then they don’t get a snack? If they’re really hungry, they’ll eat the goldfish. I don’t think you need to bend over backwards to come up with fancy snacks just because they’re complaining.
AwayEmily says
I’m not sure where you heard the word “fancy,” I literally asked for pre-packaged foods, not advice on arranging hard-boiled eggs and radishes into tiny flower patterns. I find that this is a great forum for that kind of advice — and indeed, I really appreciate many of the (not at all fancy) suggestions that have already been offered. And yes, of course if they were starving they would eat the goldfish. I’m sure that I could also starve them into finally trying scrambled eggs if I really put my mind to it. But not really worth the hassle for me.
Anon says
Sorry, didn’t realize “fancy” was so offensive to you. I wasn’t using it pejoratively. I was just trying to say you don’t need to make more work for yourself finding something they’ll eat just because they’re whining about the goldfish. Telling your kids they’re stuck with a snack you know they like but are whining about is pretty different than trying to starve them into eating a food you know they hate, in my view. But you do you.
AwayEmily says
I’m not offended at all! Just surprised by this reaction to what I see as a very anodyne question — basically the snack version of the oft-asked “my toddler is sick of muffins, what are other easy breakfasts” or “my partner and I want a new meal kit, what’s good?” I guess the answer to these could also be “stop complaining and eat your muffin/Blue Apron” but I had not seen that particular response before.
Anonymous says
Hmm, maybe try a different flavor of goldfish? Perhaps they’d like the more burnt flavor of cheezits? I used to like wheat thins a lot. My son is fan of those packaged peanut butter or cheese crackers (Nip Chee 4 evah!). Teddy grahams? We eat a lot of triscuits too, but my son doesn’t like them plain so much.
Anonymous says
Sounds like it’s time for rainbow goldfish.
Anonymous says
My kids hate the rainbow goldfish (but are fine with the regular ones).
Anonymous says
If they’re bored of goldfish I swap in pretzel sticks or cheese it’s. I also do berries and peaches instead of apples.
Anon says
Yeah I was going to say these sound like fine snacks. Honestly for hitting a playground on a weekend morning or after school, I rarely even bring any snack at all. If we’re going to the beach for the day we’ll pack food but I think of that as a picnic meal, not a snack.
Anonymous says
I keep baby carrots on hand because I’m often too lazy to cut up the big ones :)
Otherwise I agree your snacks sound great. We do a lot of goldfish, raisins/craisins, babybel cheese, apples and carrots. Trail mix with nuts, raisins and m&ms is also popular, but chocolate can obviously get very melty in the sun, so depends a bit on where you’re going and how long you’ll be out.
Anonanonanon says
Yes. baby carrots.
Pogo says
We do applesauce pouches, bunny grahams or animal crackers, sliced bell peppers, cereal bars, fruit (my kid doesn’t care how it’s prepped though so I can just throw in an apple or tangerines).
I do pouches for the baby as well, because I am lazy. I also am big on getting ‘treats’ as part of an outing – ice cream after beach or muffin at coffee shop before playground. Because we only do it once a week it makes it special.
Anonymous says
Ritz crackers, pretzel goldfish, those flat pretzel things, Kind Kid Bars, Kids RXBars (toddler eats these, preschooler doesn’t), cut up PB&J, peanut butter crackers.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We usually do cheerios and Ritz cheese sandwich crackers. This is also if we’re going somewhere for the whole morning, not just to the playground or somewhere close by.
Anonymous says
Ritz cheese sandwich crackers are a GREAT idea. I forgot about those.
Mary Moo Cow says
We occasionally sub Pirate’s Booty or Smart Pop for Goldfish. One of my kids really likes the This Bar Saves Lives Kids’ bars — and I like them because they have a serving of fruits and veggies. (yes, real fruit and veggies would be better, but sometimes I’ll take what I can get.)
AwayEmily says
Popcorn is a really good idea that I had not thought of. Thanks! and I’d been interested in trying those bars anyway largely because Kristen Bell is involved and I really like her.
anon says
We also use applesauce pouches, bags of Skinny Pop and Chewy granola bars, which aren’t sugar free, but are perfectly acceptable to me. One of my kids likes Nature Valley granola bars. One thing that has helped me is keeping a Rubbermaid snack container with 2 servings of each snack (for my 2 kids) and just throwing the Rubbermaid into whatever bag we’re taking with us for the day. When I go to pack the snacks, I just eyeball what we need a refill on, and go. I am not finding crushed bags of crackers in the bottom of my purse as much anymore. Plus the kids like that they can just grab whatever they like from the little selection.
EDAnon says
We have a snack bag which is a reusable zipper bag that I throw snacks into. It’s called the snack bag and the kids are good about eating whatever is in it!
IHeartBacon says
Snacks for us are: (1) a fruit, (2) a carb, and (3) cheese.
Fruit options: apple, peach, banana, grapes, berries, melon, cherry tomatoes
Carb options: crackers, pretzels, popcorn, ziploc bag of high fiber cereal like shredded wheat, Raisin Bran, or granola
Cheese options: babybel, string cheese, cubed cheese, shredded cheese, sliced cheese
When we pack our snacks, I let kiddo pick out one thing from each category.
Anon says
+1. We do something very similar. We found individual packs of peanut butter and guacamole at Costco, so those are part of our cheese options. (Aka “healthy fat”).
My personal favorite is crackers with guac and cherry tomatoes – essentially a mini-avocado toast kit. My kids love apples, pretzels, and peanut butter. Also a granola bar with blueberries and babybel.
Anon says
Jumping onto this – I always wonder if it’s okay to do nut snacks in public. Like, is there a line? We do PBJ at home, but when we’re going to the pool or playground, I’m always nervous to bring nuts for fear of being the cause of somebody’s allergic reaction.
I’m overthinking this, right?
anon says
I’d say yes, you’re overthinking it. I don’t pack peanut butter sandwiches for my kids on airplanes anymore after a time when my toddler was sitting behind a kid with a nut allergy and his parents were concerned about making sure she didn’t wipe her hands on him while he was walking down the aisle to go to the bathroom (but even then they weren’t mad at us, just wanted help making sure my kid didn’t touch theirs) but do in basically all other circumstances. My niece is allergic to nuts and my kids won’t bring nut snacks to her house, but will eat them outside on a hike with her when sitting a couple feet away.
Anon. says
Allergy kid parents everywhere are so thankful for people like you.
Note – I don’t expect other parents to be this proactive for the safety of my kid and I’m doing a lot to keep him safe, but it really is appreciated when it happens. Seriously, so thankful.
Anonymous says
It sounds like you are an allergy kid parent (and I realize severity of allergies varies widely), so curious: *is* this potentially an issue somewhere like a playground or park where there are high-touch surfaces? I never gave much thought to my kids potentially having nut residue on their hands while using playground equipment or leaving it on an outdoor picnic table in a public space. Obviously I try not to leave a mess or turn a messy kid loose into the world, but maybe I should rethink pb&j entirely or at least confine it to my own picnic blanket?
Anon. says
Thanks for asking. Yes, for some of the most severe allergies a high-touch area and food residue can be a bad combo. My kid has had a (thankfully mild) reaction to touching peanut butter. Confining it to your own picnic blanket and doing a quick wipe of hands and faces with a baby wipe or similar would be a great way to help keep kids like my son safe. Anything you can do to keep the food isolated from the play structure is appreciated.
Anon says
I think if it’s outdoors you’re fine, particularly in the current era when you’re not getting close to strangers while eating anyway. I would also not pack nut products for an airplane trip, although on my last flight they gave us nuts (not peanuts though).
Anonymous says
Thank you so much for even thinking about it! I have a kid with severe peanut allergy and certainly do not expect other families to plan their diets around us. I will admit that I got nervous once at a playground when there were two adorable toddlers walking around the playground with a PB&J sandwich in one hand, taking bites while playing on the playground stuff. It ended up being fine but I was a bit on guard bc I was afraid they might be more likely to get peanut butter on the equipment because they were so little and slobbery (in a cute way, lol). I just quietly gave my kid a heads up not to put his hands in his mouth.
katy says
Honestly I think you are doing fine – as far as I can tell all bars are sugar bombs and the ones that are marginally better have nuts…
I have to provide 2 snacks per day for school camp
Nut free options:
– Fruit (strawberries, blueberries, grapes, sliced pineapple, apples, mandarin oranges seem to survive the best – raspberries or stonefruit don’t get eaten as they get mushy)
– dried fruit
– Cheese sticks or babybel (kiddo doesn’t eat cheese strings just the ones that are a cheese in stick form)
– goldfish
– Cucumbers / peppers (most likely veggies to be consumed at our house- obvi any veggie can work)
– ham or salami rolled into a log
– Nut free granola bars (these are sugar bombs – limit to a couple times per week – sometimes I only send half to limit sugar)
– crackers with wow butter
– Apple sauce pouch
– homemade mini muffins (make a giant batch every couple months and freeze)
– dried fruit bars (beware gelatin as an additive if your kiddo has poop issues)
– yogurt or yogurt drink if it is not outdoor activities (and I put an ice pack in
(always put ice packs in lunch bag)
If nuts are ok you can add:
– trail mix or just nuts for the win!
– larabars
– PB on anything
– sliced up protein bars
– PB filled pretzels (from Costco)
I know that these are not grab and go… but with the exception of chopping fruit and veggies we are talking literally 30 secs of prep. (I make lunches while kiddo eats breakfast)
For family outings that aren’t long enough to require a meal but are long enough to need a snack: I keep a bunch of bars + an applesauce in our activity bag at all times and then try to add one “fresh” food before we leave (recently a fruit + trial mix).
anon says
Fruit leather from wildmade snacks (counts as 1/2 a veggie serving! My kids like the berry ones), cheez-its, oyster crackers, baby carrots (no cutting, we save ranch packets from fast food for dipping).
anonamama says
Trader Joe’s has these PB&J dip packs right now that are amazing. PB wafer cookies (think mini pirouettes) with raspberry jelly. A little sticky, so save for an occasion where you can stand a little mess, but So. Good. I’ve also loaded up on the target brand apple sauce/veggie pouches (mostly to feel good about feeding my child a tenth of a vegetable).
Anonymous says
My kids love love love sandwiches with cream cheese and anything else in them. Usually we do cream cheese and cucumbers. Make them, slice them into thin strips, throw them into a stashers bag and go.
Cb says
A game rec, we bought Dinosaur Bingo by Caroline Selmes (white box one) and have killed hours playing it. I wanted to save it for a birthday but kiddo spotted it in a bookshop and asked very nicely. We also realised the dinosaur toys that come in a tube match with them, so it is a bonus activity, figuring out what type of dinosaur each one is.
It doesn’t require any mental energy from adults and is great for pattern recognition etc.
AnonATL says
We have our first kids birthday party this weekend and I’m a little nervous. I feel like I have completely forgotten how to socialize with strangers.
Also what’s the etiquette for kids party? If invitation says 11-3 I assume we show up shortly after 11 and stay till kid gets cranky? Fwiw my son is nearly 1 and these are daycare “friends”. We have a small gift and card.
AnonATL says
Other relevant information, he goes to an at home daycare so the kids range in ages from 5 months to 4 years and we’re all invited. Birthday girl is turning 4.
Anonymous says
You just go and be friendly. It’s not buckingham palace.
Anonymous says
I’m guessing this is the host’s first party too, as that is a long party for babies! I think you are right to assume you leave when you need to. Actually it is so long that I wonder if they are thinking of more of an open house? Either you, you should be fine arriving at 11ish.
Anonymous says
Oh the birthday kid is older. Still, that’s a long party. You definitely don’t have to stay the whole tim.
Anon says
I’m a regular poster and this will out me, hence the anon. This weekend DH and I took our just 2 year old to her first soccer practice. We have been very covid cautious and she hasn’t been around many other people other than us and our nanny. We tend to go to the playground when its empty, have been to the garden center once, the shoe store once but no other stores/places really. She started going to the splash park but mostly watches the other kids and doing a few outdoor activities in the last couple weeks. Soccer was about eight 2-3 year olds and their parents in a new location. She refused to participate. She would only be carried. She is perfectly capable of kicking a soccer ball and running between cones (we do it in the field by our house). But I think all the people caused her to shut down and she kept screaming pick me up, pick me up, and then tantrum-ing face down legs kicking in the grass if I or my husband tried to put her down and hold her hand instead of carry her. It didn’t help that she got carsick on the way there (she is frequently carsick so that’s just going to be part of the ordeal I think).
We talked about going to soccer before we went, explained there would be other kids, she watched kids play soccer in the park, and we practiced kicking the ball. What else can we do to make this a better experience for her? In our house / yard / the field she is very confident and happily runs away from us and does her own thing. She’s a daredevil and climbs and jumps off stuff when she is the only kid at the playground. She is starting preschool in the fall and it will be “at the door” drop off. Part of doing this was to get her more comfortable around other people. Obviously we’ll keep trying but is there a better way to approach it? Should we sit and let her watch practice rather than carry her through practice? I think her reaction is probably within the range of normal, but she was the only kid that had to be carried the entire 30 minute practice.
Anonymous says
This is very normal – sounds exactly like my kiddo.
My getting close to 4 year old had a meltdown on the last day of soccer last week and would only play holding my hand. [Parents are required to be at the field but it is NOT parent participation.] He was always clingy but post covid has been WAY worse…. he got dropped off crying at camp today (at his preschool) because it is a different room / not his normal teacher.
A few things:
– at the door drop off is much easier than soccer because you can physically hand her to someone else in a contained room and walk away. I did this for literally months post covid. Teachers reassured me that within 3 mins he was fine. He was always happy at the end of the day.
– even if the day was fine – at first she may cry when she sees you at the end of the day. This does not mean that she had a bad day.
– OBVIOUSLY I can’t really give advice. At soccer – do they expect parents to be on the field or on the sidelines watching. If the former – you will likely need to hold her hand next time but I would guess not carry her. If the latter – I would be inclined to sit on the sidelines with the other parents and she can choose to sit with you or participate. This is super frustrating but also I think that sports are supposed to be a positive experience so just ride it out.
Anonymous says
I don’t have advice for soccer practice, specifically, but I do think it would be beneficial to get your kid more social stuff — does your library have outdoor story time? Can you do any outdoor playdates (you could go on your local FB group or wherever and find people in a similar boat, I’m sure, if you don’t know anyone)? Even go to the playground when it’s more crowded?
Anon says
As a counterpoint, 2 year olds really don’t interact with each that much, and I think social stuff at this age is really for the parents and not the kid. If you’re planning to start preschool in a couple months that’s plenty of socialization for a just-turned-2 year old. Even a 3 or 4 year old doesn’t need regular socialization outside of school.
Anon says
This is very normal. In the soccer class we did when DD was 2.5 about half the parents were on the field with kids (it was allowed) and we were among them. My daughter did get more comfortable with the coach as the class wore on, but to be honest, never really took to doing it totally independently, even though she’s perfect capable of kicking a ball and following directions. And my kid does great at daycare away from us so I think it’s less about being shy and more about “hey my parents are here, I want them to do this fun activity with me!” At daycare, having your parents join in the play isn’t an option, which is one reason I think daycare is so important, especially for kids like mine who always want their parents to do stuff with them.
As for watching the other kids at the park and playground, that’s probably just her personality. Some kids need to observe for a little while before they join in. It’s not bad or good, it just is what it is.
Anon Lawyer says
My kid is almost 20 months and this is 100% what she would do depending on the day – and I do take her to the playground when other kids are there, do outdoor play dates, etc. I think some days she’s just a bit overwhelmed and wants to be with mama and observe and other days she feels a little more able to venture out. I don’t think it’s bad for kids to watch and get the hang of things instead of jumping right in every single time.
She started daycare 2 days a week at the beginning of June which is still just a door hand-off and she does cry when I drop her off still but apparently is totally fine as soon as I’m gone. (Pictures seem to prove it.) I will say, the first couple of weeks she was very tired and much more reluctant than usual to interact with anyone except her family “pod.” But then it leveled out.
Anon says
Anon OP here. Parent participation is required for this activity. I do think she would do better if we weren’t there but that isn’t an option. Good to know she is in the range of normal. I figured she was, but none of the other kids struggled as much as she did — sure kids had to be picked up or helped for parts of it but not the full 30 minutes.
This is a dumb question but how do I not carry her if she tantrums in the grass screaming pick me up? At home I would just wait for her to work through it (she’s strong willed and it could easily be 15-20 minutes) but that seems harder in a group setting where she is being majorly distracting to the other kids/parents and it would be half of the practice.
We can certainly take her to places with other kids but my guess is it will be like the splash park where she finds a spot and then just doesn’t interact with anyone else and just does her own thing. Usually some elaborate version of cooking. She’ll make a full breakfast out of water/leaves/ whatever else is around and chat to herself about it very happily for 30 minutes.
Anonymous says
I bet it will get better but if it doesn’t: what if you sit or kneel down (so you can’t really pick her up “off the ground”. She can sit on you and watch or she can be standing basically face to face with you, but has a chance of kicking the ball? I am envisioning that she is standing pretty much between your legs?
Not fair to other families to have a screaming kid for 20 mins and promoting “sports are fun” for you.
Anon Lawyer says
I would probably pick her up and move to the sidelines or out of earshot until she calms down. Sucks, but it is what it is. Are some of the other kids closer to 3? My sense is that the difference between 2 and 3 is BIG when it comes to interacting with other kids. And a kid who hangs out and making an elaborate breakfast out of water and leaves while chatting to herself for 30 minutes sounds delightful!
Anon says
My 3 year old still prefers to play house/kitchen at the playground most of the time. Pretend play is just more interesting to her than a lot of other stuff. She’s good at taking turns on slides and stuff like that, but she rarely “plays” with other kids at a playground. I think it’s a combo of several things: she’s internalized pandemic-era social distancing, we rarely ever see another kid exactly her age and the little kids aren’t as verbal and the big kids are way more physically adept than she is, other kids want to run around and not sit down and play pretend, and she views playground time as “family time” and would rather play with us than other kids. She goes to daycare and her teachers say she’s super social and plays with all the other kids well, and makes new kids in the class feel really welcome so I’m not too worried about her social skills. We do plan to try to set up some playdates with other daycare families this coming school year. But she’s 3.5. For a just turned 2 year old I wouldn’t worry about “socializing” them beyond school.
anon says
Totally in the range of normal. I might just not do it. FWIW, one of my kids was like this (massive, massive tears for everything, sat on the sidelines for EVERYTHING), until he turned 5 and it was like a lightbulb went off. I am somewhat skeptical that soccer will turn into a better experience, so you might be better off starting with one on one play dates.
Anon says
+1. I would just let it go and try again in six months or a year, personally. You don’t want her to develop a fear of group activities. That could potentially do more long-term harm than her not doing soccer at age 2.
Anonymous says
+1 that this is completely normal. My kid started pre-ballet at 3.5, and there was at least one kid running out of the classroom screaming for mommy every class until they were 6. If she doesn’t acclimate after two or three classes, I’d wait a few months before trying again.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’d probably skip the soccer too. She’s not going to learn how to play soccer at 2 and if it’s just about socializing, I’d think something either less structured like playgrounds or playdates, or completely removed from you in daycare, will help more.
No Face says
I agree. 2 is really young and it is very normal that she does not like a structured group activity. My oldest also preferred to hang back and watch kids play at 2. Now she plays with other kids at 5. I would just wait and sign up for soccer in a year or so.
anon says
She’s 2. Why even do soccer right now?
Anonymous says
The whole point of preschool is socialization. You don’t have to get her socialized before she starts preschool.
Anon OP says
Its an 8 week session so I’ll stick it out for that unless there really is no improvement after a couple more weeks. She went to daycare as an infant (pre-pandemic) but hasn’t seen other kids meaningfully since then. I figured it was a really big transition to go from home with a nanny to preschool and soccer might be a good way to be around other kids in a group setting. I thought soccer would be a low key way to do it. I don’t actually care if she kicks the ball of anything. I just want her not to freak out in close proximity to kids and adults she hasn’t met before. If it was 1-2 kids I wouldn’t be worried, but preschool is 12 kids, 2 teachers. Preschool is currently not planning to do any meet and greets with the teachers other than on Zoom or to allow anyone in the building to see the classrooms before preschool starts so I will be handing her off to an adult she has not met in person before at a place she has never entered. We do walk by and tell her that she is going to school. I’m going to get some books about school as well.
Anon says
My daughter was a bit younger when she started daycare (16 months) but she had only met another child ONCE – as in, one total playdate, not one other kid – before she started and she was completely fine. I think you’re overthinking the transition and she’ll probably do great in school. To this day, my kid is slow to come out of her shell around new people and activities but absolutely loves school and from teacher comments seems to be one of the more extroverted kiddos in her class. As others have noted, it’s harder for kids to separate from you when you’re standing right there. At daycare she might cry when you leave but then she will immediately get happy and start playing with other kids. Daycare teachers also tend to be way better than soccer coaches (who are often college kids with minimal infant/toddler experience) at helping kids get over fears and integrate into a classroom.
anon says
OK, but preschool is worlds apart from soccer. Being able to handle the social situation in an activity is not a great indicator of how she will handle preschool.
Anon says
My kid was with her SAHD with almost no peer playdates until she went to part-time preschool at 2 (mostly for the socialization aspect). She is also spirited and does not handle change particularly well. And it was FINE. I would not worry that group soccer is the litmus test for whether preschool is going to go well. Also preschool teachers are pros at this because it happens all the time. And within a week she was running into the building. At 3 now she is doing vacation bible school with a whole new group of kids too, and that’s going great as well.
Anonymous says
I mean yeh, you isolated your kids
from all other humans for 18 months of course she’s scared of crowds of people. There were ways of being COVID cautious without completely locking away your child from the world.
Anon Lawyer says
Oh, come on, plenty of 2-year-olds were weirded out by group activities like soccer class pre-Covid too.
Anonymous says
Uh, no, the only sensible thing to do with small kids was to keep them at home. And it’s completely normal for any 2-year-old to scream about soccer class.
Anon OP says
This seems uncalled for. I was/am Covid cautious but its not like we never saw other people. We go for multiple walks in the neighborhood and see people walking. My kid goes to the splash park most days now that its warm and vaccination rates are high/transmission is low. We just didn’t interact with large groups of people until recently. Other than not going to indoor activities and choosing not to go to the playground when it was crowded (mask compliance was not good for many months initially) I didn’t do much different than many other folks on this board. I have no local family, most live on a different continent, and all of my family I do have on this continent is high risk so until they were vaccinated we didn’t visit. We Zoom/Facetime but its not the same.
Anon says
Rude and inaccurate. My kid’s fear of new people predated Covid, and she does fine in school. It’s a completely normal toddler/preschooler thing. And the benefits of avoiding a serious virus with unknown long-term complications outweigh the benefits of ‘socialization’ at that age. Infants and 1 year olds really do not need to interact with people outside their family. She said the kid JUST turned 2, and is now in soccer and starting preschool soon, which is completely developmentally appropriate even if Covid weren’t a thing. Lets not act like she kept an elementary school kid locked away in an attic for a year and a half.
Anon says
There were a lot of social settings I did not enjoy when I was a child and which I still do not enjoy now. For example, environments where children massively outnumber adults! Maybe she’ll get used to it, maybe not, but thankfully it becomes optional someday.
Anonymous says
Some kids are just like this. 3 is a little young for some kids to start soccer. You might be better off just trying again in a few months (like in the fall).
Some kids are fine with soccer at 3 but others do much better at 3.5-4. My husband coached two of my kids in a PK league and we always had kids like your LO. Their parents were mortified / apologetic but honestly the best thing they did was take the signal to try again later! One girl refused to get on the field for 4 straight weeks last fall. Her parents pulled her and she was playing in the spring like soccer was the best sport ever.
Tea/Coffee says
Totally normal! DS was that way at his first soccer thing at age 3 maybe? Super enthusiastic, all the way until we actually got there, then completely refused to participate. Could never figure out why.
TBH we just didn’t do organized, pay-ahead sports for him until K… and at that point he was totally gung ho. DD just might not be ready and that’s okay!
anon says
My LO cried at tumble tots weekly for the first few months, at about 2-3 yo. At the advice of my aunt, who is a childcare/preschool specialist, we did not force participation/carry him but did show up weekly. If he wanted to stand and watch the whole hour (without disturbing the class), fine. Passing along her words of wisdom here — some kids learn more by watching and that’s ok! Please, don’t feel like you have to carry her OR force this. A half-hour at a park around kids will still be enriching even if she doesn’t want to actually practice until she feels comfortable back at home with you!
Anonymous says
Sports classes for preschoolers are just a cash cow for the sports clubs/facilities. The hourly rate they can charge for preschool classes is much higher than the hourly rate for classes and especially teams for older kids, and the skill level required to teach preschool classes is much lower. Some parents and kids find the classes fun, but many do not. No 2-year-old is learning real sports skills in a formal class, and the general coordination and body awareness can be learned in the backyard or on the playground. They don’t start learning actual skills until age 5 – 8 depending on the sport, and even for an intense sport like gymnastics that starts teaching skills at age 5 it’s usually possible to catch up within a couple of years if the kid starts by age 7 or 8. Our professional ballet school doesn’t even start real ballet classes until third grade.
Your daughter will get plenty of socialization at preschool. If she were enrolling directly in kindergarten without any preschool or other group experience then I’d say some kind of class was necessary, but it’s not necessary to get experience with group activities before starting preschool. Also, a class with a parent on the field is a very different socialization experience from preschool with no parents present.
H says
This is super super common. My 2 1/2-year-old, who has been going to daycare and has no problem socializing with kids he knows, freaked out at his first toddler sports class. My friend’s kid who’s the same age also did. And then he freaked out for less time the second class, and less the third, until by the last few classes he was super excited and participated in most of the activities. My friend’s kid was similar, but had some more meltdowns each class. My friend and I both would spend part of each class sitting and letting our kids watch the class until they were ready to participate. And other kids in the class had meltdowns or sat things out too (or ran off looking at squirrels, or tried to take other kids’ snacks, or stared at the clouds, or or or). So I think it’s totally fine to sit it out but keep being positive about wanting to try, but don’t force her if she’s screaming.
Babysitters says
I’m kind of having a mental block about hiring a babysitter. I have a 3 year old. She’s our only (for now anyway). I used to babysit ALL the time at 14 (?) years old and up. I was an insanely responsible kid. We have a nanny who has always been amenable to staying late or coming for a weekend night but I don’t want to over use her, so to speak. Local grandparents are always willing to help, too, but we value in creating some separation. With a new babysitter, I guess I’m playing the what if game … what if DD doesn’t like her, doesn’t behave? What if the babysitter is on her phone the whole time? How do I know if she’s truly responsible?
I’m on all the local FB pages so I see people recommending babysitters all the time. Do I just need to pull the trigger? We’re pretty relaxed parents about a lot of things but this one thing has been hard for whatever reason. We could seriously use a night out (or ten….). What’s my issue?!?!
Anon says
I’m confused about why you’d pay a babysitter if you have local grandparents willing to watch your kid for free, so I wonder if that’s part of your hangup? You don’t have to force your kid to hangout with a stranger just to create “separation” (I don’t even know what that means – she’s separating from you when she goes to grandparents) and I wonder if subconsciously you feel the same way? But yes, definitely have a date night whether you use grandparents or a paid sitter.
Anonymous says
I think by “separation” she means boundary-setting with the grandparents? Keeping them out of the parents’ business?
OP says
Yes, this. Grandparents are free but certainly not no strings attached. Money is not the issue, boundaries are.
Anonymous says
Totally get this, OP. I would hire someone and do a (paid) trial while you’re around. Or maybe you’re there for an hour or two then you run out for coffee if things are going well. Talk to references and go with your gut. Seems like you like your nanny — when you are checking references, ask yourself if the review is as effusive as one you’d give for your nanny. If not, move on. I also like to end with “is there anything I haven’t asked about that you think I should know” when I do these reference checks.
Anon says
Ah ok, that makes more sense. I thought it was about the kid and maybe she was feeling external pressure to “separate” kid from family for developmental reasons and my feeling is that’s unnecessary. I understand family dynamics might make the grandparents non-optimal sitters though!
Anonymous says
Yeah just try it.
anon says
If it’s a teenager, pay teen for a hangout, get to know LO session. You’ll likely feel way better when it is actually babysitting time. We have local grandparents but it is nice having a sitter where you don’t feel bad at all for how long you’re gone, saying no TV/treats, etc etc. I’m very reluctant to leave my LOs with others because my family has very unfortunately dealt with child sexual abuse. If you have underlying concerns like this, I would check out some IG resources like consent parenting. You’re not crazy for wanting to feel comfortable with who is caring for your kids.
Anonymous says
We have hired the teenager daughter of some of my coworkers. That way there has been a “reference”. Our shy kiddo did “ok” but not great with both of them.
Both the girls are lovely and far exceeded the real standard of: will this person get kiddo physically into bed and can they get kiddo out of the house in the highly unlikely event of a fire. :)
Anonanonanon says
I like the bambino app the best. I like that I can choose who I send the job to and kind of “pre-screen” myself. They can also indicate if they’ve had a COVID vaccine. There is a little badge on their profile that shows how many times they’ve been booked through the app, and you can read reviews. Their rates are displayed on the profile and you pay through the app, plus a booking fee that is like $2. You can text them through the app. I’ve had really good luck with that app, horrible luck with facebook and care.com.
CHL says
OMG I LOVE BABYSITTERS! We have grandparents too but it is so nice to not have to be emotionally beholden to someone just to go to a movie or something. Use recommendations from FB, neighbors or friends. I would start with some daytime tryouts – like having the sitter come for 90 minutes while you go to a coffee shop or the gym or something. I do find that I need to be more specific with instructions – what to eat / when a snack might be needed, whether I want them to pick up toys, etc. but teenage babysitters have a lot of energy and can be great!
Anon says
Look up “babysitter info sheet” and you should find some printable templates. For some reason, having a sheet of paper on the counter with all the info (our contact info, a neighbor to call in case of emergency, when to eat/ change/ sleep/ etc) helped give me the piece of mind that an unknown teenage babysitter could handle a few hours with the kid.
If you’re still uncertain, try scheduling for a “mother’s helper/ get to know you” type of arrangement first. Have them watch the kid for a few hours while you’re around but otherwise occupied – like paying bills or working in the garden or running to the store. That way you can get a sense of if Kid likes them (although you won’t get a sense of if they behave – if you’re nearby then Kid might be better or worse than if you’re not) and whether the Sitter is generally trustworthy.
Pogo says
Combo feeding question – I have been mixing some formula in with bm because I don’t pump enough, but haven’t given LO a full bottle of formula, because I don’t really need to. He doesn’t seem to care about the taste of the 75% bm 25% formula mix.
He’s 10.5 months, so we could start introducing cow’s milk soon. Would you discontinue formula at that point, and do the same level of mixing with the bm? I know when kids are like, full formula people will mix formula and cow’s milk to get them used to the taste, but he doesn’t do full formula at all.
AwayEmily says
Is this something you can leave up to daycare given that they probably have experience with a lot of different kids? I gave them the formula, bm, and regular milk and let them figure out the proportions/strategy. I think with one kid they mixed because he was picky, and with the other kid they did something where she got only cows milk in a 360 cup and then they just phased out the formula/bm bottle.
Anonymous says
I’m at the same point with my 10.5 mo old. We decided to gradually switch over to formula from freezer-stash BM. She’d had a couple formula-only bottles during her last growth spurt, and she did fine, so that’s how we decided. Right now she gets 2 formula bottles, and the rest are some combination of BM and formula – basically switching one bottle over to formula at a time. The only reason that I’m a little leery about switching over to cow’s milk is that she had pretty bad reflux for awhile, and it seems to be getting better, so I’m not sure I’m ready to throw in another variable right now.
Anonymous says
I’d discontinue the formula when it is time for whole milk. We did a lot of mixing BM with whole milk when we phased out daytime bottles.
ElisaR says
same
Anonymous says
Our situation was slightly different because we never mixed formula and bm (and our twins had no issue with switching between bottles of 100% formula or 100% bm), but when our ped okayed adding in whole milk, we just went straight to bottles of 100% cow’s milk with no issues.
Pogo says
Thanks all! I think I will just keep doing the formula until a yearish and then switch to cow’s milk. I don’t expect he’ll have any issues as he’s eaten food w/ cow’s milk in it. He is not into sippy cups, but I remember that struggle from big brother and now give myself permission to not worry and let him have his bottles for a bit.
Our provider is big into trying to get them to take their milk out of the fridge, which was the last thing my older son gave up – he was good on cow’s milk, then sippy cup, then FINALLY stopped asking for his milk warmed up at like 2.5. With this baby she tested him on cold milk a week or so ago and he noped it, lol.
It’s amazing how fast you forget all this stuff. I only vaguely remember that there was a time where I had to make formula bottles.. it’s such a fuzzy memory! I do remember that I weaned my slacker boob deliberately first. But could not tell you how.
Anon says
As someone who is approaching this time (first baby is 9 months, exclusively breastfeeding, plan to wean at 1 year), I’m actually surprised by the lack of information about this online. It seems like you can find a wealth of information about all topics pregnancy and baby related, except for how to transition from breastmilk (nursing and bottles) to cow’s milk (straw cup – she’s only ever had straw cups so we’ll stick with that). Weird.
Also I have a slacker too! :)
LittleBigLaw says
DH has always struggled with professional writing and is at a point where he’s recognized that it’s impeding his success. Any recommendations for online writing courses or other options that could help him improve his skills and confidence?
IHeartBacon says
See if there is a critical writing course available at your local community college that’s online.
Anonanonanon says
What does he struggle with the most? Grammar, tone, formatting? How to tactfully handle situations?
We ask people at work to install Grammarly if they are struggling. I use the paid version myself. It corrects punctuation and suggests alternate words that may be appropriate for the tone I have set. Of course, it’s AI, so sometimes the suggestions are slightly off-base, but I recommend it overall.
Several Universities and Law Schools have “writing labs” or something similar online with tip sheets and videos that dive into more advanced issues (passive vs active voice, nominalization, etc.)
If it’s his tone in professional communications, would he be open to role-playing different workplace scenarios with you? When hiring, one of the exercises I have people do is reply to a “difficult email” (aka an email where someone is being kind of a jerk and is wrong) to see how they handle it. Maybe a few exercises like that?
EDAnon says
I would check the community college for something like “business communications” too which should help.
I second Grammarly. I don’t struggle with professional writing but I was exhausted in the postpartum period so used Granmarly to catch the little mistakes I kept making. I kept it because it is handy.
Anonymous says
Our daycare teacher has reached out and offered to babysit for us. We’re thrilled — she is great and our kid loves her, and we’ve never used a baby sitter before (kid just turned 2). But now we can’t decide how it should go — should we have the babysitter come over just before bedtime, and help us put kid to bed, and then we go out to dinner? If so, she’ll just be sitting in our house for a while. Instead, should we have her come over in the afternoon to play with our kid, so we can go see a movie or something? We’re way overthinking this but let me know what y’all think.
Anonymous says
Ummmmm. What do you want to do? That’s the beauty of a babysitter.
Nan says
We’ve done it both ways. Both are good! Do one one weekend and another another weekend and see what you like.
Anonymous says
We prefer to go out for an early dinner so we are back to do bedtime. Part of that is that I don’t like staying up late when I know wake up time is the same the next morning, so it’s more relaxing to do it this way. Plus bedtime goes smoother for mine when it’s familiar.
Anon. says
I am all about avoiding dinner and bedtime because it’s sometimes a disaster at our house. So I have babysitter come just before kids are ready to start dinner. Transition is smoother because toddler is distracted by food instead of mommy leaving. And as to the sitter just sitting in your house, I tend to view it as the sitter is underpaid for the one hour she’s there while the kids are awake, and overpaid for the next three hours when they’re asleep. And I’m good with that balance.
Anonanonanon says
If your kid goes to bed early, I prefer to have a sitter come over after bedtime. Yes, it feels a bit like overpaying, but that means they love sitting for me and I’m less worried about what is going on. Alternatively, go to brunch!
Personally, I avoided having a sitter put either of my kids to bed until they were around 3. I didn’t feel like they were old enough to understand the concept that we’d be leaving but would be home again while they were asleep until then. However, my kids also had early bedtimes, so it may not be possible for everyone to make dinner reservations for after their kid is in bed.
I think the fact your kid knows the sitter already is a huge advantage. They can be excited to show her their room! Or their PJs! Or how great they are at going to sleep!
Anon says
Especially with daycare teachers, I think it’s great to have them do the bedtime routine as the kid will probably have had them do their diaper and putting them down for nap. Easy peasy!
Anonymous says
I’d go out later because I feel like going out and then having to come home and be responsible right away is a big downer.
Tea/Coffee says
Any experience with Messenger Kids or other reasonable tween text/chat methods?
DC is 10 and now roaming a bit more freely… wanting to meet friends at the park/pool/etc. We are running into a whole lot of “Mom texts Friend’s Mom to see if Friend wants to go” kind of thing. It would be a lot simpler if DC could just text Friend directly.
Several key friends already use Messenger Kids, which is why it would seem to make sense, but we have no clue what we’re doing here (lol) as this is our oldest. One of the biggest issues is the whole “the parents have to be friends on facebook” thing. I don’t use fb and DH rarely uses it. He isn’t fb friends with DC’s friends’ parents necessarily. Etc.
DC does not have a phone, this would go on a family iPad which would remain at home (so it’s for setting things up, not taking with you to the playground, etc).
Recommendations? Experiences? Horror stories?
avocado says
When we weren’t ready to give our daughter a phone yet but wanted to give her limited texting capabilities, we allowed iMessage on her iPad. It worked because pretty much everyone we wanted her to connect with had an iPhone or other Apple device. She and some of her friends currently use Google Chat even though they all have phones, which mystifies me but whatever. Another option is old-fashioned e-mail (!!!).
Tea/Coffee says
I totally forgot about old fashioned iMessage! Good call, and DH and I do not use the family iPad for messaging/email so that would work. Not timely = not playing today, kiddo. I am okay with her learning the value of planning ahead?
avocado says
Also–in my experience 10-year-olds do not tend to respond to messages in a timely fashion, so for practical reasons you will probably still end up having to text Friend’s mom.
Anon says
My 8 year old has Messenger Kids. Both parents do NOT have to friends on Facebook. You sign your kid up and they get a “code” for friends. She can enter her friends’ code and then I just approve that she can talk to that friend. (Maybe the other parent approves on their end? I can’t remember.) The text messages can’t be deleted so a parent can always review what their kid has been sending and receiving. It’s actually a nice tool. She’s also friends with her grandparents on there and can text them directly too, which I know they love.
But it’s not good for time sensitive items. She doesn’t have a phone, it’s on her Amazon Kids tablet. So she gets to check it maybe 1-2 times a week. Based on her friends, it seems like they’re also checking it very sporadically. Even during the school year, she’d come home and say “oh I want to text M, at recess she said she will be on tonight” but then M wouldn’t respond until a few nights later.
I think you’re stuck with parent-led coordination until they get to the age of most of the friends having their own cell phones and check text messages regularly.
Anonymous says
Watch Childhood 2.0 documentary. Don’t get her a phone with any sort of camera unless you’re ready for sexting (which starts in 7th grade in most schools). Monitor the phone. It can open up a world of bullying that follows them home rather than being left at school. I’d rather have the inconvenience of planning than that.
Tea/Coffee says
Thank you! No camera is a really, really useful line to draw… i will remember this and suggest to DH (we are both struggling with this).
Anonymous says
My 8 year old uses messenger kids and it’s fine- I can read her entire history from my FB account (which is hilarious). But it won’t solve your problem. You need something like a gizmo watch where the kids can text in real time.
ThirdJen says
We use Element, which is more private than Messenger. I don’t love many “features” of Messenger, including endless filters for endless video calls that are just them making weird faces at each other, and of course the data mining and privacy concerns on both ends. Do the friends with whom your kiddo wants to text have their own devices, or are they shared?
Anon says
I’m posting pretty late in the day, but figured I’d try!
I’m a lesbian, and my wife and I very desperately want to have a baby. We made first contact with our fertility clinic two years ago. Due to my clinic’s testing policies, COVID delays, and just general slow movement, we have only had 3 IUIs in that time and are trying to assess what to do next. Our greatest priority is to get pregnant as quickly as possible.
I have no fertility issues except a lack of sperm, so we could continue with the natural IUIs. We tried a letrozole cycle and it was a disaster – I do not respond to letrozole, and had strange side effects. My doctor will not try injectables with IUI for us, given my relatively young age and lack of fertility challenges (too high a risk of multiples, not professionally justifiable in his opinion). So natural IUI is the IUI option. The procedure is completely free – covered by our provincial health insurance – unlimited attempts. Vial of sperm makes the cost per cycle around $1,300. Can continue trying right away, next attempt in two weeks, and then keep going every month now that we’re in the active queue. But success rates per month are modest.
OR – Go straight from 3 IUIs to IVF, even though I may not strictly need IVF for fertility reasons. We would have to pay completely out of pocket, which would be around $11,000 + pay the 20% of the medication costs that are not covered by my company insurance (which covers up to 80%). Grand total would be around $15,000. Given my age and test results, it’s possible we would be able to bank embryos for multiple transfer attempts to get pregnant this time/future children. Wait list of a couple months to even get started. May also have to do a “freeze all” cycle, take a one-cycle break after egg retrieval, then get on wait list for frozen embryo transfer.
I’ve read really inconclusive success rates for natural IUIs with donor sperm, ranging from 5 – 19% per cycle. Our clinic keeps saying 19% for donor cycles, but more than half are stimulated using oral medication or injectables, and it’s been impossible to get info from them on what a completely natural cycle’s success rate is. Which option would you choose?
Anonymous says
What does “natural” cycle mean? Does it involve confirming ovulation?
Anon says
OP here – It means not using any medications whatsoever during the cycle. I would just use at-home kits to determine when my LH surge is, and schedule the IUI accordingly. Ultrasound is usually only offered during IUI at my clinic if it’s a stimulated cycle with medication.
Anonymous says
That’s nonsense. You need a new clinic
Anon Lawyer says
I am a single mom by choice so was looking at a similar set of choices but paying the full American prices (ugh – IVF ran me about $30k in total). I ended up doing three unmedicated IUI cycles and 2 medicated before moving onto IVF. Honestly, everyone I’ve ever talked to about this doesn’t regret moving onto IVF. Obviously some people get lucky on IUI but it feels like a shot in the dark whereas you have a lot more information when you go through an IVF cycle about what is and isn’t working. And I think doctors discount the toll that multiple IUIs and subsequent failures take – it’s not like “trying naturally,” I don’t think. You’re going through all these ultrasounds and very precise attempts at timing for something with a low success rate. (And no, I don’t think there’s any good research on this – I have heard 20% for women with no preexisting fertility issues but who really knows.)
So if you can swing the money, I’d go to IVF. There are never any guarantees but it’s your best shot at a baby in a reasonable time frame and I don’t think an IVF cycle is SO much more stressful than IUI that it’s worth going through a lot to avoid. And it is nice to have embryos in the bank if that’s how it ends up working out.
anon says
I went through the evaluation of alternatives as a single mother by choice and ultimately decided to start IVF if I had 3 unsuccessful IUIs. In my case, though, I was going to be paying for IUIs so it was a cost/percentage trade-off. My clinic’s advice, setting aside cost, was that if 5 IUIs were unsuccessful, they recommended moving to IVF.
Anonymous says
No advice. I just wanted to say that this sounds frustrating and I wish you the best of luck.
Anonymous says
I would go straight to IVF. My clinic’s IVF success rate was like 50% – it’s very scientific (vs IUI where you’re still depending on some things working out on their own, good eggs and sperm swimming and all that) and you can bank future embryos. IUI is emotionally difficult and I have an unsubstantiated theory that hetero couples do it because they feel like it was still somewhat “natural/spontaneous” and that’s kind of a badge of honor (see also, women who do like 10 clomid cycles….whyy) . If your objective is a baby, do IVF. I was lucky my RE was super up front about this.
good luck!
AnonIVF says
+1. We had to go straight to IVF based on our circumstances, and friends who had to do IUI first (b/c of insurance not covering IVF unless 3 IUI failures first) were uniformly envious that we didn’t have to “waste time” (IUI didn’t work for any of them).
anon says
We had no reason to think IUI wouldn’t work (27, no family history of infertility, etc) and had 3 failed natural IU cycles. We switched sperm donors (upon recommendation of our fertility clinic) and did 3 failed IUI cycles with Clomid. We then switched to IVF, got 3 embryos out of her first round, transferred one, and now have identical twins.
So all completely anecdotal, but for us IVF with donor sperm was far more effective than IUI with donor sperm, though the 6 failed IUIs meant that we only had to buy meds for IVF and everything else was covered by our insurance.
Anonymous says
IVF at a different clinic it’s unacceptable they’ve only been able to do three cycles of IUI in 2 years. But after three cycles there’s no point doing more IUI.
Anonymous says
Seeking the wisdom of the hive – my firstborn (and likely only) 2 year old child is moving from being at home with a nanny full time, to starting full time Montessori school in mid August. We know multiple people who have sent their kids to this school, we like all the teachers/administrators that we have met. Our son, due to COVID and being an only child, just hasn’t had that much interaction with other kids. This plus normal “a new person and not our trusted nanny of two years)” jitters is just making me feel a bi5 more anxious that I would like to be about sending my son off yo school. DH and I rationally know it’s time for him to be around more kids and that he’ll just learn a grow so much at school that this is the right move.
So, in light of this, what are any tips or advice for the first few days/weeks at school/daycare? Anything you wish you’d known about or known to send with your kid? Thanks!
Anonymous says
He will cry and it will break your heart every morning BUT know that he will probably be fine like 3 mins after you go.
– signed mom of 3.5 year old who handed a crying kiddo to a camp counsellor at the pre-school that he goes to WITH one of his best buddies RIGHT THERE this morning. Kiddo has been in daycare (absent Covid shut downs) since 8 mo old. He admits that he loves camp (like last night at dinner)
Anonymous says
Yup! OP, your anxiety is 100% normal and also likely to feel 100% unnecessary in retrospect. He’s going to be fine. There’s a little adjustment period to anything new, but almost everything is new to a 2 year old, so they’re used to it, and most of them adapt very quickly!
You will need to adjust to not having a direct, immediate, line to the caregiver, and to not getting quite as much detail about your son’s day as you may be used to… but my experience with Montessori and with 2 year old rooms in general is that the teachers anticipate some parents being anxious and will be responsive if you have questions or need reassurance. Attend all the orientation sessions, email the teachers directly with any concerns, and make sure you are on the same page with expectations about the frequency and substance of any updates. Otherwise, deep breaths and positive thoughts.
anon says
My son had to have his very favorite stuffed animal every day. It also helped if we talked about and showed him a picture of him with the new teacher. Daniel Tiger has a good new school episode and book I think?? We sing “grown uppppssss come backkkk” every day basically. What really helped him turn the corner though was giving him a task — in his case, walking sister to class or carrying his backpack in. It distracts him from the separation blues. :) Good luck!
AnotherAnon says
Ask whomever is in charge at the Montessori for tips or help.
Anon says
It will be so wonderful. I had anxiety about sending my then-16 month old only child to daycare too (although this was pre-Covid so that was not a factor) but it has been the BEST thing for our family. She has so much more fun at school than she would at home with one of us, the daycare teachers are fountains of wisdom about parenting, she loves playing with other kids and is developing socially and emotionally and academically and constantly astounding us with all the thing she learns at school, from facts about bugs to yoga poses to ways to help a friend who is sad. It’s so so wonderful. It’s normal to be anxious but I promise it will be great. I hate the only child stereotypes and most of the only children I know are lovely people who are not selfish or spoiled but I will say (as an only and mom of only) that I think daycare is especially important for only children, because they don’t get that child-child interaction at home, so if you think you may not want a second that’s an additional reason to feel confident in this decision.
Fiww, our experience was that she cried at drop-off for maybe a week and has never cried since. So while I agree that crying in the morning is not necessarily concerning as long as he’s happy at pickup, know that it’s not inevitable. My daughter had a much harder time when we had a nanny and we left. I think partly because she likes leaving us more than having us leave her, if that makes sense. Also the daycare teachers are just way better at getting her engaged with fun activities than the nanny ever was. And she likes all the fun new toys. :)