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Now that spring is in full bloom, I’m looking to add some brightness to my wardrobe.
I just got a catalog from The Fold, and their Elland Dress caught my eye — its vibrant blue is perfect for the warm days ahead, while the folded neckline will flatter your face for your next Zoom meeting. Its stretch crepe fabric and asymmetric pleats are also perfect for those striding back to the office.
The dress is $395 and available in U.S. sizes 2–12.
Another washable option with the same sharp cap sleeves is the Sarah Dress from M.M.LaFleur. It’s currently on sale for $80. While black is available in 0P to +3, the other five colors (deep indigo, deep plum, pomegranate, posey, viridian, and black) are lucky sizes only.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
My 21-month-old has been doing a routine lately of getting upset during dinner and saying “all done!” before he’s eaten much, and then 10 minutes after I take him out of his highchair he’s asking for crackers, cheese, etc. Sometimes he’ll eat the same food I had served for dinner if I hand pieces to him as he asks for food. Any advice?
Anon says
I wouldn’t give him any food after he says he’s all done and gets down from his high chair. He’ll learn quickly not to say he’s done until he’s full. Caveat that my kid has always been on the chunkier side and I know people with underweight kids may have to be much more liberal with when and where their kids eat so as always YMMV.
TheElms says
Kids Eat in Color on Instagram has some suggestions on this but it boils down to you offer meals and snacks at set times, with at least one familiar food offered in unlimited quantity (subject to parental judgment) but no food outside those times. So, when kiddo says all done at dinner and then is hungry 10 minutes later you say we’ll have snack at X time. For dinner this means you probably need a bedtime snack (for us it is milk). Making the switch is pretty painful the first couple days but my kid caught on within 3 days when we did this around 18 months, so maybe try on a weekend if the evening fussing will be hard to manage with work. If kiddo is sick or clearly teething I don’t do follow this advice, but if all is well I generally do.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is generally what we do. Food is only offered at certain times – morning breakfast, snack before lunch, lunch, post nap (for little one) during TV time (for older one), then dinner and a dessert as their daily treat. If they say all done, then they’re all done (little one sometimes says it and then picks up some food on his way down from the chair – we ask him to sit back down to eat).
AwayEmily says
My 3yo has a habit of eating just ONE more piece of food as he carries his plate to the sink. Or, if there is maple syrup on his plate, straight-up licking it. I should probably make him stop but it’s adorable; he thinks he’s getting away with something.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s always fun to see my second try to get away with something when we’ve already been seasoned and worn down by spirited kid #1!
Anon says
This can vary depending on circumstances, but honestly even with my early elementary schoolers I keep their uneaten dinner on the counter until they go to bed. Then if they claim they are hungry, it’s like, great! You can have some more dinner! Be strict and consistent about this. My main concern is teaching them that they can’t just shun dinner foods and get snack foods instead if they are tricky about it. (My concern hasn’t been so much about the multiple eating/time thing although it’s annoying when it happens, I feel like teaching them their later option will still be their dinner helps take care of that).
Some exceptions I make include if I experimented with some new dinner and they legitimately don’t like it and it’s kind of understandable. To the other poster’s point, that’s why having something you know they like is important for every meal, but if they are hungry like 30 minutes later I wouldn’t make them choke down the rest of something of a more failed experiment on my part.
Anon says
(And to the earlier poster’s point, my kids are both underweight which is why I don’t like denying them food later in the evening, but I am still strict that it has to be the dinner until it’s gone).
NYCer says
This is our general routine too.
OP, this sounds counter-intuitive, but my younger daughter did SO much better with eating after we stopped using a high chair. She hadn’t outgrown it yet, but for whatever reason, her tolerance for sitting in it became very, very low.
Io says
As for high chair, we had to ditch the buckles on the Tripp Trapp at 18 months. We still use it for our five year old though (and I’m petite so I’m planning on refinishing it and using it as a desk chair when she finally grow out of it).
Anon says
My older kid has been doing this lately as well. I found that she mostly wants the yummy snack foods, so now the only option for after-dinner snacks is her leftover dinner, or fruit and veggies. If she’s hungry, she’ll eat more dinner or a few strawberries/carrot sticks if she didn’t like dinner. If she just wanted something salty, she’ll decline.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, we do carrots as the only after-dinner option. If they really didn’t eat much dinner, then carrots plus peanut butter.
Anonymous says
Ours is string cheese. Kiddo doesn’t actively dislike string cheese but also doesn’t love it, so it’s a good test of actually hungry.
Clementine says
Plain toast with NO JELLY. Somehow this is sufficiently boring. I started this because I had some kids who would ‘shop’ to see if there was a better option.
If they truly didn’t eat or seem really hungry – growth spurts do this – I add peanut butter.
GCA says
This is a lovely color, but the cap sleeves bewilder me slightly, and I’ve seen them on at least three different dresses now in recent weeks – I think one was a J Crew dress over on the main site. Are cap sleeves having a Moment this year? (Caveat: I am a non-fashionable person and have been baffled by cap sleeves all my life, including on my own clothing growing up, as they offer no coverage and hit me at an unflattering part of my arm – your taste may vary!)
Anonymous says
These weird square sleeve flaps have been a thing for several years. I wouldn’t even call them cap sleeves–a true cap sleeve is just a very short, angled version of an actual sleeve that goes all the way around the arm.
AnonATL says
My dream wardrobe is nothing but the Fold. Except the shoes. I don’t get the witch shoes.
CPA Lady says
Late to the party on the conversation from yesterday on girls clothing being tighter and more revealing than boys clothing, but here’s my 2 cents:
Swimwear from Hanna Andersson — not a cutout, string bikini, or visible bu t t cheek as far as the eye can see. Holds up well too. (Clothing from Hanna in general is good if your goal is casual, cute, and non-se#ualized.)
Also, I ordered some bike shorts for under dresses from a company called lucky & me on amazon that I really like. They are the $30 three pack with the lace at the bottom. They fit well on my tall, average weight (but with junk in the trunk) daughter. They fit close to the body without being skintight and are long.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Hanna is having a 40% off sale right now (they tend to have frequent sales – I probably wouldn’t buy anything full priced there). Their pjs hold up well and their clothes in general feel better than some cheaper brands, so a +1 for me. Their girls’ stuff does look cute too, and they have lots of solid pieces and less crazy prints than say a Boden, so can go well with the solid Primary pieces.
AwayEmily says
Yeah what is with Boden lately? It’s like a rainbow threw up. And I say this as someone who likes rainbows.
Anon says
*Immediately navigates to Boden site to shop the rainbow vomit for my six year old
anon says
I missed the conversation too, but solidarity. I like Lands End Kids for swimsuits. They’re cute but still cover what needs to be covered, for comfort reasons and sun protection. My kiddo isn’t that into shorts, but when she does wear them, bike shorts are the winners. Yeah, they’re tighter than boys’ shorts, but at least they’re long and more practical for playgrounds and such. I’ve pretty much stopped buying regular shorts.
My challenge this year has been finding regular tank tops that don’t have a bunch of patterns (DD won’t wear them) or spaghetti straps and cutouts (again with the sun coverage issue!). I have cobbled together a small collection, but omg, I shouldn’t have to shop 3 stores for such a basic item.
I have a hard time reconciling the fact that I prefer a more modest wardrobe for my kid. I guess I want my kid to be able to dress like a kid and not a miniature teenager? I certainly don’t want to police her body, but yeesh, I’m really uncomfortable with the overly grown-up styles, which are everywhere once you hit about size 6. I can put together a wardrobe from the usual suspects but it takes more time and planning.
anon says
Also — forgot to mention that capri pants also can be a good option. Maybe not when it’s 90 degrees outside, but they’re great for warm days and in-between seasons.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Primary has solid color tank tops, and I saw some on Hanna’s site too.
anon says
Unfortunately Primary was slow to the game and hadn’t yet posted this year’s tank tops until, like, 2 days ago.
Anon says
They’re having a lot of supply chain issues because of the pandemic I think.
Anon says
Tell me about it! My 3 year old is in size 6 now and the styles are so wildly inappropriate for her age. I don’t think I’m overly modest but I really don’t want my preschooler dressed like a 14 year old.
Anonymous says
Retailers that have separate sections for 4 – 6x and 7 – 14 tend to differentiate styles between the two size ranges. Nordstrom is a good bet for this.
Anonymous says
I like H+M around that age. Their 1 1/2 – 10 yr size range has good ‘kid’ options. Their 8-14 age range is a more teenagerish.
Anonymous says
My girls lived in knit dresses from 2.5-8 yo. In cooler weather they added leggings. In warm weather they wore them with bike shorts. Available everywhere–Target, Primary, Carters, ON, Boden, etc.
GCA says
I find a useful hack for this is to buy clothes marketed as ‘boys’ – so if she is in size 6 ‘girl’ clothing, look for size 4-5 ‘boy’ clothing which is often cut wider, longer and looser. Lots of cute unisex tees and longer bermuda shorts there (my toddler routinely wears her brother’s hand-me-downs, and is miffed if her shorts/ pants have no pockets – I feel you, girlfriend). And I feel like UK brands are less aggressively gendered – our secondhand Mini Boden t-shirts have sweet graphics and have held up well through two kids.
DLC says
+1
I’ve been buying my nine year old daughter clothes from the “boy” section lately for just this reason- especially pants. I feel like girls pants don’t really hold up and so many of them have really low rises.
I actually just saw a flippy sequin shirt categorized in the “boy” section and it made me so happy.
anon says
Oh, that sounds really difficult! Yeah, in that case, I’d definitely go with Primary and Hanna, with some Target thrown in.
Anon says
Yeah, we buy a lot of Primary, some Hanna, some Boden and some H&M. Old Navy was my #1 favorite for toddler clothes (so many cute and affordable dresses!) but their offerings for girls (at least lately) are awful. I haven’t looked much at Target, I probably should especially now that I’m vaxxed and can go browse in person. My daughter still fits in 5T dresses and pants for now, it’s really only tops that she needs a 6 (she’s fairly tall but mostly she has an incredibly long torso for her height) but I’m really dreading the moment when we’ll have to fully transition out of toddlers. Modesty issues aside, the toddler clothes are just so much cuter.
anon says
I got my 4 and 7 yo DDs this tankini set off of Amazon that looks like a short and tank top. It fits well and seems comfortable. I’m not sure they’d choose it for “real” swimming, but it’s great for backyard sprinklers, beach play or kayaking.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08XH64724/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
anon in brooklyn says
I buy my 4 year old sets from amazon that have a shirt like that and a short sleeve rashgaurd top.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B019GERPZS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anonymous says
We do a lot of capri leggings and tank tops in the summer.
Anonymous says
I just buy my daughter a tankini for pool swimming and boys’ trunks or board shorts for anything outdoors (park, beach, lake, etc). Sand destroys lycra and is terrible for swimming pool filters. Target or Swim Outlet usually have boys trunks with fun patterns or more feminine colors like orange and yellow, “faded red” (pink) or purple.
I know at some point she’ll want girls board shorts but by then she’ll be in charge of her own sunscreen.
Anonymous says
I have a six year old boy but appreciate this thread – I have found the switch from “toddler” styles to “kid” styles a hard one for my tall kid who still likes cute animals, stripes, and younger-looking clothes than most size 7 clothes out there (nothing “tough,” is not into gaming or characters, not into athletic wear, etc). Gives me some ideas- we already buy primary on sale (but for a kid who grows this fast, struggling with budget!).
fallen says
talk to me about crib to bed transition. we need to transition our almost 3 year old soon bc he no longer fits in his crib (we were dumb enough to get a mini crib). We are dreading it. he is not a rule follower and we tried doing naps in the crib and it is so hit or miss (sometimes he naps ok, but a lot of times he needs my husband to lay with him while he naps , and sometimes he wont nap at all and make a big mess in the room instead).
we are thinking of doing it in a month when we move so that we can just buy a regular bed for him. but maybe i should reconsider and buy a regular size crib for the time being as annoying as that is.
Anon says
How is night sleep? Is it possible he’s just done napping? Doing it when you move sounds like a good plan to me, unless his night sleep is crazy disrupted and you need a solution ASAP.
Anonymous says
I don’t quite understand–if he won’t stay in his crib anyway, what’s the value of switching to a larger crib instead of a real bed?
Put the mattress from the regular bed on the floor, totally childproof the room, remove all objects of interest like toys and books, and gate the doorway. Then put him in bed and leave him. For the first few nights he may end up fussing at the gate and eventually falling asleep on the floor, but he’ll quickly learn that he might as well just stay in bed.
You mention misbehavior at nap time, but does he stay in the crib at night? He may be ready to drop his nap.
OP says
his night sleeps has been in a really good stretch. He goes to bed late-ish (9) but sleeps through until at least 8 am or later. He DID however have issues previously where he will go through a few weeks when he wakes up 3-4x a week once or twice. But that hasn’t happened probably for the last 3 months. However, he can be a PIA to put to bed (asking for one last song, water, etc. a few times) so this worries me about how it will go with the bed (I can just see him getting out of the bed and not wanting to go to sleep)
OP says
sorry, I should have clarified he naps in his sister’s bed (he won’t nap in the crib).
Anonymous says
He won’t stay in his crib but will nap in a bed? This seems like a no-brainer–bed all the way.
Anonymous says
I would get the Busunge bed from Ikea. It’s full sized crib sized and then extends to a twin sized bed. You can put a bed rail on it in crib size and have a very ‘crib’ like environment. Tell kid that if he can’t stay in his ‘big kid’ bed that he has to go back to the minicrib. Keep minicrib in room for a few days, then move it to basement for a couple weeks before getting rid of it so that he knows you can follow through.
OP says
ohh thanks for the bed rec! great idea. are there any others like it that others recommend?
Anonymous says
It sounds to me like he’s dropping the nap. I would do whatever works for naps if you want to try to hold on to them, and get the big bed when you need to for nighttime. I would not assume that just because naps are a struggle that nighttime will be.
Anon says
What’s the best way to ask daycare classmates on playdates these days? There’s no class directory. I see other parents occasionally at drop-off and pickup, but rarely without the kids around and I don’t want to ask for a playdate in front of the kids (especially in these times, because what if their kid wants to do it but parents are being very Covid cautious)? Do I ask the teacher for the other parents’ contact info?
Anonymous says
Ask the parents for their contact info when you see them.
octagon says
We’ve sent a note in an envelope for our kid to give to the other kid to take home. It feels a bit archaic, but I just put “Hey, kiddo talks about your kiddo a lot and we’d love to try to set something up outside school, text me if that sounds good to you.”
Anon says
Ah I should have mentioned we can’t send anything in to school because of Covid rules. I also think my kid is a little young (3) to reliably do this. She might give the note to some random kid instead or use it to scribble on at art time, ha.
Anonymous says
Can you stick the note in the other kid’s cubby?
Anon says
We can’t go in the classroom, unfortunately.
Mary Moo Cow says
Can you give the teacher a heads up/ask if if it’s okay to send in a note? That’s what I’ve done. In a private message to the teacher, I explained that Kiddo would like to play with Friend outside of school but since we no longer have a school directory and I don’t always see Friend’s parents, I am asking if they would mind sticking the note in Friend’s backpack. They were happy to oblige, I think because I explained what the note was and it was necessary because of the school decision to not have a directory. It was also awkward but it worked! Otherwise, I cornered the parent in pick up before we reached our kids.
Anonymous says
Why aren’t schools / daycares having directories anymore? Is this a COVID thing or a pre-COVID privacy thing?
Anon says
It predated Covid at our school. Not sure why they no longer do directories. Privacy concerns, I guess? Although sometimes they send emails with all the parents cc-ed so it seems like if they’re super concerned about privacy they could use the bcc line instead.
AIMS says
Someone at my son’s nursery school just said to me, “hey we’re going to _ park Saturday morning, it’s supposed to be beautiful, if you’re guys are around our kid would love it”.
Fleas and babies says
We have a cat, a dog, and a 6 month old baby. Our nanny found two fleas in the nursery this morning. Both the cat and dog are on preventative, but the dog goes outside (obviously) and we know it’s not 100%. I don’t think we have an infestation – the fleas were on areas that the cat commonly sleeps. Is there anything we should be doing? I feel like a bad mom but part of me is like, *shrug*, this is just what happens when you have pets?
Anonymous says
This is why we exclude pets from human sleeping areas.
Mary Moo Cow says
I suspect 2 fleas means there are more. I would call the vet and see if you need to bring the pets in for a check or updated medicine or treatment. Nothing is 100%, I guess, but if she found them where the cat sleeps, I would be worried the preventative isn’t working and from what I’ve heard, you do not want a flea infestation.
Anonymous says
+1. Fleas in the house aren’t “just what happens” with modern flea preventatives.
Anon says
I’d wash bedding and vacuum furniture and carpet.
AnonATL says
I’d give dog a bath (dawn dish soap is great for fleas!) and cat if it will allow it and then check them both. Vacuum rug and soft surfaces and wash sheets. For flea prevention, we have great luck with Simparica.
We keep a gate at the baby’s door primarily to keep our dogs out.
Anonymous says
If you haven’t seen any bites on anyone, I’d wonder if what she saw was actually fleas or another itty bitty bug. I’d have both pets checked at a groomer or a vet. If they have no signs of fleas, I would assume what she saw was not actually fleas.
Anon says
This.
Anonymous says
Call your vet! Your cat doesn’t want to sleep with fleas!
Anonymous says
You can ask the teacher to pass on your contact info to the other kid’s parents. Often they will not give out info without the other person’s permission.
Honestly though, we did not often do playdates outside of daycare even pre-covid so don’t be offended if they say no. Daycare is one big playdate and non-daycare time is family time.
Anon says
does anyone have a recommendation for a brand of pull ups? i bought some and they were horrible.
Mary Moo Cow says
Target store brand and name brand Pull Ups worked for us, in the sense that there were no leaks. They did not work in the sense that they made training easier or faster.
Anonymous says
Our daycare made us use the Pull Up brand ones, becuase they have velcro on the sides. That way they could change the kids without having to take pants/shoes off. They had the kids sit on the potty pretty early. I think my kiddo wore the Pull Ups at daycare for about a year before we actually potty trained her. They didn’t leak during the day, so I guess they were fine. We used the Good Nights at night once we got to that stage. Pull Ups were severely insufficient overnight for us.
OP says
to clarify. not looking for them to assist with potty training, more like for my potty trained kiddo to wear for a longer car ride, etc.
Pogo says
I used the Walmart Brand (parent’s choice) and they were fine. Also have velcro on the sides.
Anon says
We also used them for things like that (plane trips, long car rides) plus naptime at daycare for a few months and mostly used Up & Up, but also Lidl brand at one point. Both were fine.
Anonanonanon says
Honestly? For that, I’d just use a diaper. Pull Ups are meant to be changed immediately and I never found any that worked on a long car ride (if, say, my otherwise-potty-trained kid passed out and peed) without soaking through clothes.
Anonymous says
Kids sleep in pullups. I don’t think they are all made to be changed immediately.
Swim diapers says
I have a 8 month old and we’ll be heading to the beach for the first time in a few weeks. I got some of the reusable swim diapers from Primary, but want some disposables, too. What are the best brand? Huggies? Pullups? Do you put kid in regular diaper and just change into swim diaper when they’ll be going in the water (since they don’t contain liquids)?
Anon says
Just get whatever brand you like (Pampers and Wal-Mart are cut wider, Huggies and Target narrower). Absolutely change kid right before they go in the water, not before but also DO NOT FORGET. Diapers will absorb water until they explode and then all these slimy crystal things come out and cannot easily be cleaned up. And at the beach they will get in the water and kill the fish.
In fact, if you’re going to the beach don’t bother with the disposable unless you think your kid will poop. Most pools require them, so figure out what you want, but seriously you don’t want to accidently get a regular diaper in the ocean.
Katala says
No advice on brands, I thought they all kind of sucked. Yes to regular diaper until it’s time to be in the water. They do not contain liquids so you will have a mess if you do the swim diaper too early. I prefer the reusables myself, but swim lessons required disposable + reusable which was helpful to keep the reusable from smelling too much if we were in and out of the water.
AnonATL says
I found a cheap re-usable swim diaper at Target recently. I think it was like $7. Lucie’s list has a good article on them as well.
Mary Moo Cow says
I was really happy with the Primary swim diapers with a bathing suit bottom over it. We also used the Huggies disposable ones (DH preferred those because you can rip them off and throw them away.) For the beach, I put baby in the swim diaper right before we walked down to the beach, and for swim lessons, in the locker room right before we went into the pool. They don’t hold much, but with a diaper plus swimsuit, it was always fine. Have fun at the beach!
Pogo says
I always just used reusable (iplay brand). Brought two to the beach in case kiddo pooped, or sometimes we just took that as our cue to go home. I typically changed kiddo right on the towel/blanket when we were setting up, once when he was a toddler LO accidentally peed in the swim diaper in the parking lot and he was so sad/upset because the pee just trickled down his legs. I also used cloth diapers though so I had a sprayer on our toilet and was well versed in poop removal, if that icks you out, maybe go with disposable?
Nail tips says
Any tips on getting my two-year old to sit still to cut her finger/toe nails? TV or videos used to work like a charm, but now she really, really fights it, and it is almost impossible to get it done.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Does she respond to bribes? We tell our 2.5 year old that he’ll get a gummy treat after cutting nails, and he then sits still.
AwayEmily says
Whenever my kids need their nails trimmed I get out my phone and pretend to call “Mr. Clippers” for an appointment. A few minutes later, my husband, aka “Mr. Clippers,” comes in wearing a hat and talking in a funny voice, and clips their nails. YMMV but it works for us!
Anonymous says
That is adorable!!
Anon says
I don’t know how to get her to sit still, but this works really well for us –
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Nail-File-Electric-Trimmer/dp/B0722QVKC2
Anon says
Mine is 3.5, but I often combine it with a special treat (like a lollipop or piece of chocolate she gets to eat with the hand I am not clipping) and I’ve now started painting her nails every few weeks (plus side, she will actually sit still for a full 20 minutes for them to dry with a timer!), and she knows that getting a trim is part of the nail painting process so she is willing to endure. If anyone sees a kid running around with differently painted hands and feet, that’s mine, because picking one color is apparently too pedestrian. I drew the line at each nail being a different color, but am living with different colored hands and different colored feet (seriously, this month one foot is navy and the other is hot pink).
Clementine says
Things I’ve done at various times with varying degrees of success:
– cut their nails while they were on the potty
– bribed, including having them hold their hands out with a gummy in the middle where they cold see it and they get the gummy at the end
– played ‘nail salon’ where we had them sit down and soak their fingers and then everyone got their nails done (my husband actually did an Edna Mode voice for this when it was his turn).
– let them ‘cut’ the parents’ nails first.
– cut them while they were sleeping (one kid sleeps REALLY soundly)
And finally, the one I will admit to: Wrap the child in a big towel like a burrito with their feet out and have the other parent give them a bear hug and basically hold them because the child REFUSES to let anyone touch their weird toenail that you’ve tried all the other ‘normal’ ways of addressing the issue.
Anon says
No tips on sitting still, but it helps to cut immediately after a bath because the nails are so soft and can be cut much more quickly
nails says
This might sound gross, but when they were that age, I let them sit on the kitchen counter for it. For some reason, that was a big enough thrill. I would put them up by where the garbage can pulls out and clip the nails over the garbage can, but they still got to SIT. ON. THE. COUNTER. (it also saved me from having to crouch onto the floor and it has bright lighting.)
Carla says
We give our kid a second set of kid clippers and have him pretend-clip one of his toys’ nails (a plush toy works). Then we say “ok kiddo, now it’s time for mommy to clip your nails! Let’s show [plush toy] how we do it.” When he was a baby I’d just strap him in his bucket seat and take advantage of the restraining assistance.
2 Cents says
I let my now 3YO play in the bathroom sink. He has his toys to play in the water while I clip one hand. When that’s done, I switch hands. Works pretty well.
Anonymous says
What’s the best online program to help fix diastasis recti? I’m 5 months postpartum and it’s clear I need to do some kind of exercise.
Anonymous says
Moms into Fitness has exercises and modified workouts for this
Anon says
You need physical therapy. Trying to do exercise on your own can make the problem worse. Your OB should be able to refer you to a physical therapist.
ANON says
Nancy Anderson Ab Rehab
K. says
I love, love, love Restore Your Core! It is pricey, but completely worth it!
[email protected] says
Restore Your Core, for sure.
anon says
ha, put the email address in the wrong place but that’s my burner if you want to talk about it!
EDAnon says
Every Mother was profiled on NPR as being safe and effective. I would recommend you consider PT if you can. I didn’t go for this but my other experiences with PT have been great!
RDC says
MommaStrong (dot) com. Can’t say enough good things about it. All their workouts are safe for DR and they have a special program focused on that. But the general workouts are fantastic for posture, function, and general aches and pains. I’ve been doing them for 2.5 years now and it’s seriously life changing. It’s also eminineny do-able at only 15 minutes / day.
Bike Recommendation says
We’d like to get my daughter a bike for her 3rd birthday. She never took to a balance bike, mostly because she watched her older cousins on “normal” bikes for so long I think. So we want to get her a more traditional training wheels bike.
I hate hate HATE the pink/girly themed bikes that I’m seeing at Target, dicks and other places. REI has some solid colors (a nice purple, a blue, etc) but they’re relatively expensive compared to other places. Are there any other bike stores/brands out there I should be looking at? REI has the one I have my eye on in stock for pick up at the local store (yay) but wondering if there are any other alternatives out there that aren’t so…. pink?
avocado says
I would look at Trek. Our daughter started on a 12″ bike from REI, and when she outgrew that we bought a Trek. The Trek bike was much lighter and easier to handle than the REI bike, and Trek usually offers girls’ styles in blue as well as “boys'” styles that don’t look gendered at all.
If price is an issue, I’d go with a used Trek over a new bike from a cheaper brand. If you buy a higher-end bike new, look into the trade-up program at your bike shop when it’s time to size up, or sell the old bike through Facebook etc. Our daughter’s last kid-sized bike was a Trek mountain bike I bought gently used and later sold in excellent condition for $10 more than I had paid.
Anon says
We liked the Byk and Woom brands because they are lightweight and ergonomic to make riding easier. We’ve ways bought on the internet. There are lots of color options.
anonamommy says
We took our 4-year-old to REI to get her sized and try some different bikes. I was really surprised, there was one bike that she was the most comfortable on, by far. She took off and started pedaling around the store (with training wheels). Yes, it was expensive and sometimes I feel ridiculous for buying it. But she rides it all the time and I think of it as an investment in a lifetime love of biking.
Anon Lawyer says
I’d go to a local bike store rather than a chain/national one. It’s more expensive than Target or whatnot (probably on par with REI) but they know exactly what’s going to be best for your situation and they’re good businesses to support and can help as you kid ages up into bigger bikes.
Anon says
+1 bike store all the way for bike purchases
Redux says
This is maybe too obvious to be helpful, but buy a bike marketed to boys? If the “girl version” is too pink, buy the blue one? At this age there is zero difference between the boy bikes and the girl bikes except marketing (which includes color).
2 Cents says
Isn’t the bar in the middle different between boy and girl bikes?
Jeffiner says
I thought the bar was supposed to be lower on girls’ bikes so girls could wear a skirt? The higher bar on a boys’ bike provides more structural support for the frame for jumping and crashing, but girls can do just as much of that as boys.
As an adult, I have a woman’s bike, and the lower bar means I don’t have as many places to mount a water bottle. I want a man’s bike next time.
Back in the Office says
First day back in the office today (voluntarily; remote work is continuing until September) since March 12, 2020, and it is weird. Like a time warp. Notes from the things I was working on in March (I was out for an appointment and then everything shut down, so there wasn’t a planned, I’ll be out for a while let me pack things up exit), a calendar that says February, books open to the pages I left them on, lots of expired food and medicine, and a shocking amount of dust considering I’m pretty sure the cleaning crew is supposed to be dusting. But it’s nice to see people in person and be free of kid distractions! Just very surreal. I hear more people will be coming in as they are fully vaccinated (I am) but it’s both weird and awesome to see even the handful of people here who are not DH or DD.
Anonymous says
Right? I had something similar when my company announced on a WFH Friday that we would not be allowed back the next week. We had designated clean out days a few months ago, and I said at the time it was like walking into a time capsule. Luckily I didn’t have any perishable food; I’d been worried for 8 months that I had a banana rotting on my desk or something.
Enjoy your office, though! I’m waiting with bated breath to be allowed back in, but word is September at the earliest.
Anon says
I’m jealous! We’re losing our office space at the end of the month and I went in last week to clean it out. It was so sad! I really miss my co-workers and not just on a personal level. I feel like the lack of random chit-chat in the hallways has me so out of the loop with office gossip and goings-on and it’s hindering me professionally. I’m not that committed to my career so it’s not like it’s going to destroy my life or anything, but it’s frustrating. I understand letting individual employees go fully remote if they choose, but having everyone remote seems like it will be so bad for morale.
Anon says
Can you go to physical therapist that specializes in this? That would be my first recommendation. If that’s not an option, I’d check out the Every Mother program and/or Expecting and Empowered. I was working on mine and then got pregnant again so haven’t successfully closed one yet so no advice on that front. But I was super excited to hear that with my planned C-section they will also close my DR surgically when they stitch me back up. Small bright side to that.
Anon says
Late to this party but did they volunteer to do this or did you bring this up? I would have loved that after my 2nd and last child! I’m just starting PT soon for this and my youngest is 3.5…
octagon says
This is a really interesting essay — it breaks down the mental load into four parts. Anticipate, identify, decide, monitor. What a helpful framework — and like the study, I do almost all of the anticipate and monitor, probably 3/4 of identify, yet we decide jointly.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/parenting/women-gender-gap-domestic-work.html
Sometimes I wonder how my husband would cope if something happened to me, and my kid would constantly be in too-small clothes, not enrolled in aftercare, subsist on takeout, etc. But he loves kiddo to pieces and that’s the most important thing.
Anonymous says
I keep thinking to myself that I need to organize all the recipes I regularly use into a binder. I have it all organized on my phone or in my head. If I died tomorrow, my family’s favorite recipes would be lost forever. I think that would add an extra layer or sadness to their grief.
Anon says
If something happened to me, my husband loves our kiddo to pieces, which is absolutely the most important thing! And my life insurance proceeds would allow him to have a more-than-full-time nanny, which would ensure that she’s wearing size-appropriate clothing and eating vegetables :)
Anonymous says
I read that too. My first reaction was that women also tend to do all the “identifying,” then present the options to the man so he can participate in the “deciding.” I actually kind of resent that my husband wants to be part of the deciding. If I’m the one doing all the prep, information-gathering, and follow-up, then I should get to make all the decisions.
I do like that the article calls it “cognitive labor,” not “emotional labor,” because emotional labor is something different. Emotional labor is putting on a happy face for others’ comfort, as women are often asked to do at work.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for the female partner to do the cognitive labor as long as she is not also doing 50% or more of the physical labor. In my marriage, I have the comparative advantage when it comes to cognitive labor. I’m better at it and I care more about it than my husband does. Our overall household well-being is optimized when he mows the lawn and does the laundry while I am researching day camps and getting estimates from contractors and planning vacations. When the cognitive labor is unacknowledged and undervalued, that’s when it’s a problem.
Anon says
I wonder the same thing. But I rest easier knowing my mother and sisters would make sure my kiddo has proper clothes and kiddo would survive just fine on takeout (DH and I both did as kids) as much as I would be rolling in my grave. I did make him promise that if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, he would save my cast iron skillets and recipe books for her notwithstanding his disdain for cooking. I’ve actually started hand annotating recipes with the way I actually cook them (either in a binder with printouts in page protector sleeves or in the book itself) in the hopes that it will be a keepsake and full of fond memories of us cooking together for kiddo (who also loves to cook) when I’m gone. I have a bound copy of my great-grandmother’s recipe book with her handwritten notes in it and it is such a keepsake (neither my grandmother nor mother were really cooks or bakers but thankfully they still saved the original).
Anon says
I used to get SO MAD that I did all the anticipate, identify, and I’d do all the monitor, but he wanted to be part of the decisions. So I just handed him total ownership of many things, and he has to own them even if he’s out of town (he traveled a lot for work) as that’s part of anticipate. He ended up owning meal planning/ grocery shopping/ pantry stocking/ etc and it’s been such a game changer for me in terms of mental load. And honestly, him too. Now he realizes why we “always threw away fruit” and how hard it is to constantly keep a supply of after-school in the pantry.
I work in Finance, and one of my biggest lightbulbs was when I realized every single male coworker had either a SAH or teacher wife at home, taking care of everything around the house so their brains were so much more available to focus on work – yeah they might have to leave early to take the kid to a dr appt, but they didn’t have to remember it was due, call and schedule an appt, fill out all the online forms, make a list of things to raise for the doctor, request a form for the school office, drop the form at the school office, make sure it was recorded as received, etc. They don’t even realize how much a wife adds to their earning potential.
As much as there are affinity groups at workplaces, I wish there was a “recognize your privilege” group for men to figure all this out. (And for white people, cis people, able-bodied people, to work on themselves.) Reading Lean In isn’t going to have a fraction of the impact that a man reading this article and truly taking it to heart would.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think this is a big part of it:
“I don’t think that’s necessarily something that is at the top of people’s minds as they’re making decisions, but part of the worry comes from fear of something bad happening. And part of that is: I will be judged as a bad mother. I think notions of good fatherhood are changing. We expect men to help with changing diapers and to do a lot of the physical care work. And yet, we don’t see them as ultimately responsible for the child’s development and happiness in the same way.”
Which (and I say this as a type A, planner, anticipator, etc.) – should I really judge myself for not being a good mother because I didn’t pick a certain summer camp or buy clothes three months ahead of time? If my kids go to “worse” camps or we have to buy clothes when their pants are at their calves… well so? I actually think my more “go with the flow” husband (who by the way, does a lot of anticipating, etc.) is better suited to truly be in the moment with kids and accept their emotions in a way that I have trouble with because I’m always thinking about the next step.
Anonymous says
It’s not that easy to absolve yourself from all judgment, though. My kid judges me and lets me know about it if she doesn’t like her camp, or her after-school care, or her lunch, or her clothes. And all of you judge your own mothers on their parenting, as evidenced by stuff that’s been posted here in the past.
Anon Lawyer says
I have never heard anyone here judge their mother for not sending them to the right summer camp! I’ve spent plenty of time talking about my parents in therapy like everyone else but the clothes/camp/aftercare /school lunch situation has not even come up once.
Anon says
Yeah…there’s a world of difference between complaining about something in the moment and carrying it forward with you to adulthood as a reason why your mother wasn’t a good mother. I don’t know any adult who still has issues with the clothes they wore in childhood or the camp they went to. I had a wonderful childhood and am close with my mom but there were things I consciously chose to do differently in parenting, but they are big picture things, like I wanted my kid to go to daycare to have more socialization at a young age and I want to let her fail more than my parents did to build resilience. I’ve never met a preteen or teen that doesn’t complain about most of the minor decisions their parents make, so if your standard for success is pleasing your kid with every choice you make you’re just setting yourself up for failure (and/or spoiling your kid to the extreme).
CPA Lady says
Here’s my way more than two cents. Being a mom doesn’t mean we *magically* know how to “anticipate, identify, decide, or monitor” better than dads do. We learn how to do all those things over time. We ask others for advice. We watch other parents. We make mistakes and learn from them. If we all magically knew what we were doing, we wouldn’t be on here posting questions every day.
I remember how confused I was when I was a new mom, not knowing how often to buy my baby clothes, not able to figure out how far I could buy in advance, trying to pair sizes to seasons (if it’s May and she’s in a size 6 mo, will she be in 12 mo by fall? or 9 mo? or 18 mo?). And it doesn’t end. Just this fall (kid is 6!) I ordered the wrong size of shoes because she had such a massive growth spurt during flip flop season that her feet grew two sizes. You know what I did? I sent the too small shoes back and I ordered new bigger shoes. It was not a big deal at all.
A lot of us make things more complicated than we need to. If I dropped dead, and kiddo needed bigger clothes, my husband could take her to target or old navy and buy a whole season’s wardrobe in one hour. Do I buy a whole season’s wardrobe in one hour? No, but that’s because I enjoy shopping for kid’s clothes and I care about certain things more than kiddo or husband do so I take great care and more time to do it, and I enjoy planning the next season’s wardrobe ahead of time. But the way I do it isn’t the objectively “right” way.
All of these carefully decided upon summer camps with complicated schedules that change from camp to camp week to week that require afternoon nannies for pickup are things I see my mom friends do because they WANT to, not because they are somehow better than sending the kid to the Y all summer (though it’s such a massively time consuming PITA I’m sure some of them have convinced themselves its better). And it’s not like I magically know when I need to sign up for these things either because I haven’t had to do it yet. I guess I’ll have to find out before next summer. And if I died and my husband signed kiddo up for the Y because it’s the only thing open by the time he thinks to do it, and the kid hates going to the Y, then she will complain about it incessantly and he’d either tell her too bad so sad, or he’d plan differently next summer. But going to summer camp at the Y is not a hardship. Kid would be just fine.
I firmly believe that if I got run over by a bus tomorrow, my husband is completely capable of learning how to do every single thing I do. Things are pretty equal as is. I have sent my husband the contact information for each of the providers for my child (dentist, doctor, teachers, etc) clearly labeled, so he knows all this info. If you haven’t done so for your spouse, I’d suggest doing so. I’d also suggest having him make the appointment and take the kid to the dentist or doctor by himself if he hasn’t done so already so he knows the routine. We have a joint email address for kid’s school info that either of us can check, that we put as the contact email on kid’s school forms, so we both get all the school notifications. If your husband HAD to be in charge of this stuff, he would make it happen. Or he wouldn’t and the kid would probably be totally fine either way.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, all of this. I went to the Y summer camps as a kid (is that even “bad”? I don’t know) and I’m an ok adult! I’m not saying that my kids or other parents (moms mostly) won’t judge me, although honestly I probably judge myself more than anyone else thinks about me, but for 1. kids – they will complain about everything and 2. other parents – there are a million right ways to parent so I will try to take it with a grain of salt.
Redux says
For a different context, the Y camps where I live fill up within the first 5 minutes of registration– insofar as popularity is a good measure of worth, they are definitely not considered lesser. So, feel free to die in peace of knowing that your DH probably will not send your kid to the Y.
Anonymous says
I used to wonder the same thing but then I divorced my child’s father. He also loves her to pieces. We agreed that each parent is responsible for maintaining her wardrobe, etc in each house. Ex has magically stepped up and now my kid is hilariously over-wardrobed and over-supplied with all her needs — like she has 6 water bottles instead of 2. He’s also now emailing me with camp, activity and aftercare options, and figuring out vacation plans 4-6 months in the future, because he knows otherwise he’ll be stuck with whatever I chose. They are perfectly capable of all of this stuff, they just don’t do it because they know you will.