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I’ve bought a lot of summer hats in the past, thinking that I would wear them on vacations or outside. Either they’re too hot or too heavy, and I never end up wearing them. However, I bought this before my recent trip (flew back early — one day before my state went into isolation mode), and I wore it every day. I’ve even been wearing it at home — in my backyard, walking around outside, pulling weeds. I love that it is a visor and the top lets the heat escape; it is adjustable; and it rolls up small. When you unroll it, it shows no sign of having been rolled. For the price, it’s been the MVP of summer so far. The hat is $20 at Amazon and available in many colors. Ultrabraid Large Brim Visor
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
AnonATL says
I am on the hunt for some slouchier and longer tshirts I could wear postpartum with leggings/yoga pants around the house. Someone recently mentioned they were not impressed by the quality of the main brand on the river site, but I’m looking for something at a similar price point (<$20) so I can buy a few. I'm also not wanting something super athleisure-style but more a classic tshirt look. Bonus points if it is nursing friendly!
Cb says
It has been a few years but I found some really good things at H&M.
Jocelyn says
Ohh I can help! I just realized thanks to quarantine that I have almost zero t-shirts. After hunting everywhere I found perfect ones at Target. The Universal thread ones are on sale still I think for under $10 and they are cotton, v-neck and not form fitting but not like a potato sack either! Also come in more than just gray or white which is all I can find elsewhere. I’ve washed them a few times and they’ve held up well.
Quail says
+ 1 – love these!
AnonATL says
Thanks! I think I will try these since I have to go to Target for diapers, etc anyway. I have some of the more fitted ones from this brand that have held up well, and I can always size up if needed.
Don’t want to spend a ton of money since they will get messy between baby and things like lanolin a poster mentioned below.
Jocelyn says
Do it! I was pleasantly surprised by these T-shirts, they feel well made and at least for me aren’t clingy but not shapeless either, plus at $8-10 I don’t cringe when my toddlers come at me with popsicle hands, hahah.
Realist says
Gap and Eddie Bauer tall size t-shirts are on the longer side
Anonymous says
I like the Madewell v neck tshirts. They’re loose and easy to nurse in and 100% cotton. Avoid anything that is not 100% cotton because if you get lanolin on blends it seems like they’re forever ruined.
Pogo says
I like American Apparel unisex v-neck T’s in a larger size.
Lsc says
Uniqlo Airism shirts would fit the bill.
Anonymous says
At what age do kids start cutting their own nails? I still cut my 7-year-old’s nails with baby nail scissors — should he be cutting them on his own, and if so, with regular nail clippers?
Anonymous says
My almost 8 year old just did it for the first time himself with clippers, so I would say give it a shot.
Clementine says
I’ve found 8 year olds were pretty good with fingernails, but still needed a little coaching on toenails (no ingrowns needed!)
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
My oldest took over sometime when she was 7. I checked the first few times and she did fine so now I let her take care of it.
AnonV says
I am 17 weeks and we just found out we are having a baby boy. I was hoping for a girl and the news has, unexpectedly, hit me quite hard. Everyone around me seems to be having girls which is not helping. And I keep thinking that this will be even harder if we have a second baby and it turns out to be a boy as well. I had always imagined myself having a daughter. Any advice? Feeling like the worst mom in the world already.
Anonymous says
Congratulations on the darling boy! You aren’t the worst mom in the world. It’s okay to have private feelings of disappointment- you will get over them. It’s 50/50 odds and I know you know that. Don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I don’t think you’re a bad mom, you, just like all of us, had certain expectations of what parenthood would be and what your kids would be. I think it’s worth examining what it is you had in mind for your experience with a girl? Is it a particular kind of girl? What if your daughter turned out to be differently (so, so common) than the daughter you imagined? Can you have similar experiences with your son? Not to say that your disappointment isn’t valid, but based on my extensive 4 years of parenting experience, :), your kids and the parenting experience end up turning out differently than you ever expect, and you have to learn how to parent the kid you have (boy/girl, tall/short, high needs/low needs) rather than the one you expected.
Anonymous says
I was “supposed” to have one girl, instead, I have two boys. It’s OK to be disappointed. I am truly made to be a mom of boys and couldn’t imagine a girl, I just didn’t know that until I became a mom. Boys are amazing and fun!
Anon says
I always always wanted a girl – I grew up with one sister and thought I wouldn’t know how to interact with boys. Five years later, I have 2 boys (yes, I was disappointed during both pregnancies and mourned not having a girl), but I love my boys and can’t imagine having a girl now. I feel like my family is complete – I have the most loving boys in the world. They are total mamma’s boys with the hugs, kisses and cuddles (and minimal fuss and drama)!
Anonymous says
Don’t sweat it. I know everyone says that once the baby is here it won’t matter and that is 100% true. I felt similarly and now I just don’t care at all anymore now that the baby is here. I think it’s harder before the baby comes when you’re looking at cute outfits, nursery decor, etc and the boys’ section is slim pickings… not that that is what anyone is mainly focused on, but it does play a role in how you imagine motherhood.
Congrats! says
Congrats! Little boys are the best, most snuggliest beings out there! I have two girls and a boy and man, boys are fun to parent.
I actually kind of think it’s awesome that your friends will have girls at the same time you have a boy? They’ll grow up knowing each other and learning to play with kids of the opposite sex (great skill!) and they may be bffs but there won’t be pressure to be? You never know what personality your kids will have! I did a very good job never becoming friends with any of my parents’ friends’ kids and in retrospect I’m sure that was frustrating for them! I have the same thing – but flipped – where my oldest is a girl and a bunch of friends had boys. She bosses them around a bunch. It’s pretty funny.
Also know that gender disappointment is super common and totally normal.
cbackson says
I am super involved in a lot of initiatives to support women and girls (in the workplace, in my chosen sport, etc.) and so finding out that I was having a boy was a surprise. I wasn’t disappointed, but I’d always envisioned having a girl and it’s taken a mental reset. For me, it was that I had thought a ton about how to raise a girl – how to replicate the good things about my childhood, and the things I would do differently to help her tangle with what is still very much a man’s world. I feel like now I’m playing catch-up in terms of thinking about how I’ll raise my son, but I’m finding it kind of exciting now, because it’s new to me.
I agree with others that it helps to dig into why you envisioned having a girl, because once I did that I started seeing that a lot of that wouldn’t be different with a boy. Like, I was excited about being the one to teach my daughter about camping, canoeing, the outdoors, etc., because that’s often a “dad” thing, but I realized that’s just as meaningful and important with a boy as with a girl.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Just on this note, in a lot of ways, one of the best things you can do to support girls everywhere is to raise caring, empathetic boys who value women and being equal partners. It’s part of the “Unfinished Business” of valuing “women’s work” that Anne Marie Slaughter discusses, and even the strongest, most feminist women need equal partners to support them.
Not to put pressure on anyone of course, I think a lot of this is just modeling your own relationship with your spouse – this will help both boys and girls.
Realist says
100%
Anon says
Totally agree. My feeling is that, regardless of how you raise them, girls are likely to eventually encounter sexism in the world and in the workplace that underscores the fundamental inequalities between men and women and turns them into feminists if they aren’t already. But boys are pretty much only feminists if someone has educated them about inequality, and that person can be anyone but is most often their mother. I wanted and have a girl and am thrilled about it in many ways, but the one thing I’m disappointed about is that I won’t get to raise a man who believes in strong, equal women because I actually think that’s more important for society than raising strong girls.
AnonATL says
I’m having my first child, a boy, here in a couple months, and I am very much looking forward to raising a feminist little boy. Unfortunately no matter how much progress we make, life is always going to be slightly easier for a male. We are also not going to continue making progress on gender equality without feminist men stepping up.
I’m a bit in the opposite situation as the OP in that I was convinced I was having a boy because everyone around us was having girls. It seemed like statistically there had to be a boy soon. I would have been fine with a girl, but have also always thought of myself more as a boy mom for some reason.
I think both genders present their own benefits and challenges. I try to remind myself that the unique personality of the child is going to drive your experience more so than their gender. It’s totally normal to feel disappointed though.
Anon says
100% my perspective now with 2 boys. I wanted to raise strong independent girls. But now with 2 boys, I’m excited to raise empathetic, nice, caring, respectful boys.
Clementine says
I’ll admit that part of why we didn’t find out the sex ahead of time is that I wasn’t sure how I would react to a theoretical boy/girl disclosure. I’ll now admit that I think I wanted a girl (only girls in my family), but I somehow always knew I was destined to be a boy mom.
That being said, my son has filled my heart more than anything I could have imagined. Never would I have ever gotten such a pure compliment as ‘WOW MOMMY. Your nails are so shiny like a race car!’ after getting a manicure. My goal in parenting him has been to make sure he’s a feminist who shares the radical notion that women are people.
Also, the clothes are cuter. Yeah, I know. Everybody is all about the girl clothes, but: have you SEEN a kid in overalls lately? Tiny bowtie and shorts with suspenders? It’s awesome.
Clementine says
Also, you’re allowed to grieve the future you thought you would have! Do it!
And something that’s always helped me is reminding myself that We make plans and the Gods Laugh and Laugh and Laugh.
ANON says
This says it really well. I didn’t want to know the gender until the LO arrived because I knew I would be crushed if it was a boy. (it was – everyone except for me was convinced it was a girl – and it was what the hubby wanted too) I still get pangs that I was supposed to have a girl…. but I couldn’t love my little guy any more. He love to try on my necklaces and REALLY wants me to paint his toe nails (anyone have ideas how that would not end up ALL over the bathroom etc?)
The first could years of dressing a boy are so cute. jeans with suspenders with plaid shirts and yes ALL the overalls. Tiny Vans. AND you will save a bundle not buying single wear dresses. PJs with dino feet. unfortunately this summer polo shirts are a bit of a struggle….
Spirograph says
I told my kids that we only do toenail polish when it’s hot out, because they have to stay outside in bare feet until it dries.
Fingernail polish was the same deal. Get the quick-drying kind, paint nails, send them outside. It will smudge, but no one cares. :)
Anon says
My 4 year old girl stopped letting me put her in the cute outfits we have for her when she was 2. She picks the same few atrocious long sleeve tshirts and mismatched leggings every day. I had to stop buying the stuff I found cute b/c I have had to give most of it away completely unworn. I know there is more to wanting a girl than envisioning the clothes for sure, but just to illustrate that yes – you never know what you are going to get!
Spirograph says
Congratulations! Echoing that gender disappointment is super common and normal, and every child is an individual and you’ll love and learn to effectively parent the one(s) you have. My first was a boy and all my friends were having girls around the same time, which made me a little sad, but then my second was a girl and I was also a little sad about that because I didn’t know what to do with a girl! I feel like, any time there’s a binary, mutually exclusive path taken, it’s human nature to spend a little time on regret for what’s not to be, and that’s perfectly OK as long as you don’t get stuck in it.
Anyway, (my) boys are like high-energy dogs — you have tire them out, or they will destroy your house — but they are snuggly and loving. They both love sports, one is obsessed with Minecraft, one loves to cook, they both want me to paint their nails today. You never know what you’ll get with kids, and that’s what keeps life interesting.
Anonymous says
I was devastated when I found out I was having a boy. Like cried at the ultrasound devastated—I was mortified, but the sonogram tech said it’s actually not all that uncommon! I’m sad to say I let it ruin the rest of my pregnancy. I could not get over it.
But then he was here and he was this perfect little amazing boy! He’s now an insane almost three year old that is so much fun.
Let yourself grieve the baby you thought you would have. But I would gently suggest trying to get excited soon. Think about all the wonderful things about having a boy. I really wish I had done this myself :)
Pogo says
I would encourage you to search some older threads where this has been brought up. I was totally fine with a boy for my first, but when we found out #2 was also a boy it took some re-adjusting (weirdly everyone thought I was having a girl, including my son who referred to his “baby sister”). I admit I have not totally worked through what I grieve about not having a girl, which is mostly when she’s grown up – getting mani/pedis together and shopping, enjoying the same trashy TV shows, generally gossiping on the phone and over text constantly. Also cute dresses and hairstyles on little girls.
But some advice on here has helped – think about preparing to be the coolest MIL in the world, and I do get to do some of the above-mentioned things with my MIL though we’re not close like my mom and I are obviously. As far as having a boy or girl when they’re young – honestly, I don’t know that there’s much difference. Kids are into what they’re into – my boy love trucks and construction but also ballet and his baby doll. Some girls might be only into princesses and tea parties, but some might not care and be all about trains and dinos.
I think a lot of the differences in parenting will emerge as they get older, based on what other moms have told me – girls get more moody and will have more drama with friends, whereas boys might be a little more risk-taking in their teenage years. But for now, it’s very much kiddo’s personality and not gender that dictates what they’re like (LO’s best bud is a girl, and she’s super brave and high energy and not a snuggler, whereas his other close friend is a boy who is insanely sensitive and snuggly).
Anon says
Give yourself some time. The feelings you are having right now are not the feelings you will have next week, let alone when your son is born. I have a few months of being a mother under my belt, but I think one of the massive advantages of finding out the sex before birth is to have time to process all of those feelings long before the baby gets here.
There were tough things for me, like when my mother got excited because she has “always wanted sons” and kept prying my husband to try to get him to say that he was happy about having a boy. In fact, a lot of the sexism I encountered during pregnancy was from women, not men, and I wanted to model for a little girl that this stuff isn’t okay and isn’t how you treat people. So much sexism from women – rampant objectification of my pregnant body, snotty comments, treating me like the only interesting thing about me (lawyer, athlete, writer) is that my uterus works really well, more objectification of my body. Forget raising a boy who doesn’t behave that way; I wanted to raise a GIRL who doesn’t behave that way.
AnonV says
Thanks everyone for your advice. It already makes me feel better to know I am not alone.
I do think that I have very specific expectations for a little girl – thanks for helping me realize that because obviously, if we had a girl she would probably be very different from what I am imagening. The same will probably be true for a boy, I guess I am afraid that he will be just like my husband’s nephews who – although they can be sweet – are all very challenging kids. And I will just need to learn to ignore the comments from my husbands family. They are very into gender stereotyping, much more so for the boys than for the girls. I will need some time to get used to this new reality but I am doing my best to think of boy moms in my family and friends circle who have awesome kids and that is helping as well.
anon says
Your feelings are very valid! I wanted a girl very badly. I’ll never forget the joy on my husband’s face when we found out. I smiled and then hopped off to the bathroom where I cried. I was upset for awhile. But I got comfortable with it, I realized many things said on this thread, and when they put him in my arms I couldn’t imagine it any other way. But also, THE CLOTHES. So much cuter. Tiny jeans, tiny overalls, petite plume boy pajamas, tiny little jon-jons, sneakers, sneaker socks… you can go so many styles with boys and it is just the best.
Anonymous says
Tips on announcing pregnancy in big law? When did you announce and how late is too late to tell? There seems to be a lot more at play right now with working from home, uncertainty about work flow with the economy, etc.
anon says
I told at 18 weeks, which I only got away with because my immediate colleagues are almost all oblivious men (which is its own issue). Waited that long because of health concerns with the baby that turned out fine. I was worried about disclosing so “late” but no one acted like it was the least bit unusual, and realistically, it of course allowed plenty of time for planning.
TheElms says
In my big law office its very common not to tell until the 20 week ultrasound, especially for first pregnancies. I told a couple folks very early around 10 weeks (bc I had a scare and had to drop everything and go to the doctor, and bc I had to turn down a speaking engagement around my due date) and then told everyone else around 16 weeks. I think telling just after the 20 week ultrasound is the latest I would tell people, but that’s a perfectly fine time to tell.
Anonymous says
I told people at around 12 weeks because I felt like I was getting noticeably pregnant. If I were remote, I’d probably do it a little later, unless I needed special accommodation of some kind. At the end of the day, it’s something I stressed about each time only to realize each time that the timing really didn’t matter much.
Teaching to tell time says
Any good resources for teaching kids to tell time? Pretty sure this was supposed to be part of the spring curriculum we missed and my five year old is asking. I’m doing a bad job explaining – is there a video or a workbook you’ve used?
Anonymous says
Buy or make a “teaching clock.”
Redux says
We hung a big analog clock above a digital clock and set them to the same time. The analog clock is from Target and has the minutes written out in red. We explained the basic “little hand is the hour, long hand is the minutes” with the digital clock underneath to confirm.
Redux says
https://www.target.com/p/schoolhouse-14-wall-clock-threshold-153/-/A-50418262?preselect=50334372#lnk=sametab
Realist says
DH taught our kiddo how to tell time during his homeschooling time. I had previously promised kid a watch after she learned the skill. DH downloaded free worksheets from online and they worked through them together.
Anonymous says
Do you have a link for the worksheets? I’d love to use those!
Realist says
Not sure where DH got them, but googling “Telling Time” worksheets brings up a ton of stuff that looks like what they did. Start with learning the short hand does the hours, then work on the minute hand with half hours, then the 5s, then single minutes, then let them draw it on a blank clock when you give them the time.
Anonymous says
FWIW this appears to be happening in second grade for my son.
EP-er says
+1 It was a few weeks ago for our second grader too!
DLC says
We are just now teaching our second grader to really tell time so that she can be a little more responsible for getting to class on time. I will say that until she understood the concept of counting by fives, all we could teach her was top of the hour. Also her being able to tell time has had no real bearing on her ability to conceptualize it.
SC says
I have distinct memories of filling out time telling worksheets in second grade. I think I already knew how to tell time because I received a Swatch Watch for a birthday present at the end of first grade. But it was at least still being reinforced in 2nd grade.
Anne-on says
+1, we’re also working through the telling time unit in second grade now. They appear to have linked it to when they teach fractions (which makes sense) so I wouldn’t stress about it now.
avocado says
dadsworksheets dot com is a decent source of free printable math worksheets. He’s got some for telling time.
SC says
PSA–if your library has online resources, check what they may have for worksheets. My library provides access to Scholastic Teachables, which is basically a huge library for worksheets, games, flash cards, etc. You can filter by grade level, skill, topic, etc. I’ve been downloading mazes and dot-to-dots and color-by-numbers for my son. I’m sure other similar databases exist.
Out of curiosity, I looked up Scholastic’s resources on time telling. They have lots of worksheets, and the vast majority are listed for 1st-3rd grade, and a solid majority being for 2nd grade.
Anonymouse says
Any suggestions for taking care of baby doll accessories that aren’t super girly? I have a toddler boy, and am expecting another boy this summer. Grandma has a baby doll on the way, but I want to get him some accessories (feeding, washing, bathing, etc), and everything I’m initially seeing is SO pink. We’re in an apartment, so thinking more a collection of littler stuff (brushes, play food/bottles, diapers) and not big strollers, etc. Although the tiny doll baby carriers and strollers are super cute.
Cb says
My mom made a baby sling and my son loves it, you can find them on Etsy. The shopping card all does double duty as a buggy. I wonder if you just repurpose existing things, I gave him a bottle I found in the cupboard and one of his own baby blankets and luvvies for the baby.
Anonymous says
Ergo makes a doll carrier in a number of patterns. I also just embraced the pink to some extent. One twin’s fav colors are pink, red and orange. Walmart has a neutral car seat -https://www.walmart.com/ip/ZIG-ZAG-CAR-SEAT-CARRIER/761162057
anon says
Our doll stroller is our 100% most played with item, so I’d keep that on your list. You can get a folding umbrella one that is pretty small. We just got an off brand on Amazon and it’s held up for 4 years now.
Anonymous says
+1 – my son never played with his doll – I tried! – but he liked the tiny umbrella stroller. We had a red one but I don’t think he would have cared about the color. He really liked pink in preschool
TheElms says
Do you have any newborn stuff from baby 1, I’d just reuse that.
Pogo says
Mine definitely just plays with the pink accessories (shruggy guy emoji). We did get him a boy doll but he really isn’t into the boy – I think it was Haba? He likes the cabbage patch doll we got him that came w/ a blankey and paci. She is all plastic and can go in the bath. Just beware you may be called upon in the middle of the night to retrieve not just your child’s things from the floor but also Baby’s. Because obviously toddler cannot go back to sleep until he knows Baby has her paci.
+1000 on doll stroller, tho we just use an old umbrella one someone gave us for outside. It’s not only Baby that gets strolled but other stuffy’s too.
Pogo says
We have “Cabbage Patch Kids Sooth Time Newborn Baby Doll”.
Cb says
Yep! 1am wake-up the other day because ‘baby otter has fallen out of bed and I have to keep him safe for mummy!’ The problem is, baby otter is a finger puppet and easily falls through the bars of the cot or gets stuck in the covers.
avocado says
This is simultaneously adorable and awful. I probably would have been inspired to sew baby otter to mummy otter the next day.
Anonymous says
Hot glue gun and small piece of velcro! Can be separately to play and ‘snuggled’ together at night.
Anon says
i also live in an apartment with twins and they LOVE their baby doll umbrella strollers. they do not take up much space at all. despite having 2 girls, we have one blue one and one pink one. also – the wraps literally take up no space at all
AIMS says
They actually make boy dolls and some come with ‘boy accessories’ if that’s a concern. Generally, I think somewhat higher end manufacturers make more gender neutral stuff look at PB kids or Crate& Barrel kids, etc. Agree that stroller is the big item to have. I got one on Etsy of all place with a cover stitched of some cartoon favorite characters. It’s a few bucks more than whatever you’d get at target but not by much and was a big hit.
AnotherAnon says
First, we’re visiting the ped this week so I will ask her; just looking for reassurance I guess. My 3 year old has begun stuttering pretty badly. He repeats the first syllable of the sentence. For example “I-I-I-I-I love you mom!”He doesn’t seem too bothered by it, and doesn’t grimace or seem to be struggling physically to get the words out. In the past he stuttered a bit, but it seemed to be aligned with a developmental leap and we ignored it and it got better. Any resources or advice?
mascot says
My kid went through some periods of stuttering before age 5 and all the professionals assured us it was normal. We did start speech therapy around age 3 for different issues, but the stuttering resolved on its own.
Anonymous says
From what I’ve read, this is normal. My 3yo also does it when she’s trying to get an idea out too fast.
IHeartBacon says
Same. His mind moves so much faster than his mouth.
Spirograph says
same. Does this happen every time he talks, or only when he tries to string together a full sentence? My 3 year old takes forever to get a sentence out frequently. Not so much stuttering over a syllable as repeating the same first word, first few words, phrases several times before he finally gets the whole sentence out. It especially happens if he’s excited about something. My understanding is that it’s normal; 3 year olds haven’t had *that* much practice talking fluently in compound sentences, yet! I’m interested what your pediatrician says about it, though.
Anon says
Yep, both my 3yos do this when they get super excited. It’s totally just their brain working faster than their mouth.
IHeartBacon says
It doesn’t happen every time he talks. It’s really only when he tries to string together a full sentence. The more complex the sentence, the more times he repeats the first word or two.
Pogo says
Same! I asked a friend who is a pediatric speech pathologist and she said it is very common at this age. She encouraged me to just monitor to see if it gets worse, but assuming school goes on as planned in the fall (HA), he will be evaluated then and get therapy if needed. I’m hesitant to go through EI at this point given that we’re so close to 3 and pre-k, and pandemic means it would all be virtual and he won’t video chat anyone, etc.
If no school in the fall, I will probably go with an outpatient referral from the ped (I think in my state at least EI is < 3 years?). Mine has also gotten MUCH worse with the pandemic in general due to what I assume must be the stress of major disruption to his routine.
anon says
Today might be the day I finally snap from trying to work full-time with kids underfoot. I am legitimately getting depressed and feel like I could sleep for a week. DH doesn’t get why I’m crabby and constantly on edge, and I’m tired of trying to explain it. Starting today, a sitter is coming in for 3 hours in the morning but honestly I’m ready to throw in the towel and send our youngest to daycare.
ANON says
Don’t feel guilty about that!
Audrey III says
solidarity. So glad I’m not the only one feeling ready to snap today.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think the last few weeks have been hard because there’s not a clear end date to this madness and even if we “go back,” it won’t be the same as it was, so it’s depressing. Like, if I knew that daycare was for sure opening at the end of June and we could have the kids there full time like we did before, without the threats of closures, I could power through it. But to think that this may be the new reality and no one is guaranteeing anything in terms of care? That’s tough. I full support you sending your kids to daycare if possible, and if that’s not an option, a sitter should hopefully help as well.
Pogo says
+10000. This was me this weekend too. Major meltdown and I felt real depression symptoms like catastrophizing and ruminating really kicking in. DH committed for his part to helping put together a schedule so we can split schedules if/when we don’t have any childcare. I basically was at the end of my rope, LO has become such a handful without a solid schedule, I started getting really concerned what this was doing to him long term.
My conclusion is if I’m not going to do anything about it (like start hiring a nanny), don’t think about it, because there is no amount of worrying that will change the situation.
Clementine says
Yo, that is 100% where I was last week. Venting on here helped, but then… I took a half day from work Thursday and just… let myself phone it in on Friday? And ya know what, that plus the weekend really helped.
Be kind to yourself. This SUCKS.
anon says
I’m glad you got some reprieve, Clementine. I actually took Friday off, and sadly, it didn’t provide much relief. It was nice to not be bouncing between work and home life, but it wasn’t actually restorative if that makes sense. I am so tired of feeling like a sh!t mom and sh!t employee. People have been pretty understanding up until this point, but the pressure is definitely ramping up even though the child care situation hasn’t changed much. I know many of my coworkers are hiring help so there’s this weird unspoken expectation that productivity should be back to normal.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 on “productivity back to normal” – and as much as I’d love that, it’s just not possible and I find myself getting really annoyed at work. Our state (TX) is re-opening more aggressively than local officials would like, and people are acting a fool – drove by several patio bars that were not following social distance/mask rules this weekend. That being said, running out of options for DS. We can’t hire help right now due to our living situation, and as work for both DH and I continues at “normal” pace (plus my job is new – I started in January), daycare may be our best option. They’re taking all precautions but of course I still worry – there are no guarantees all teachers/staff are socially distancing outside of work, and of course no one knows what other families consider acceptable at this time.
anon says
Did anyone nap train? If so, how did you do it and what age? My almost 6 month old has been napping terribly the last month. I think this is typical for his age and supposedly it gets better 6+ months? We sleep trained him for nights at 5 months and that’s gone pretty well–the only wakes up once at this point to eat. Do we use the same method (check ins every 5 10 15 min) or something else?
AnotherAnon says
How many naps is s/he taking? It might be time to drop one. I did not nap train, I just plopped him in the crib and let him CIO, but I recall nap CIO lasting around 2 minutes – definitely less than sleep training. Every baby is different, but I don’t remember mine having any trouble napping unless he was ready to drop one. Good luck!
Anonymous says
We did nap training before night sleep training because we knew he wasn’t hungry at nap time. It wasn’t a formal process for us, sort for disorganized Ferber. It’s worth a try!
Anonymous says
If he’s still on three naps, I’d try moving to two naps with maybe a stroller cat nap as then late afternoon nap if he’s in that in between stage. Usually if they are getting lots of time on the floor, they will pass out immediately at nap time from exhaustion so training isn’t necessary as much as with overnight sleep.
Realist says
At that age I think we trained to 2 naps. No checks, just let cry until go to sleep. It can take 5 or 10 minutes every time if you have a crier/screamer. Give up on nap if it doesn’t happen in about 15 minutes. Use a very clear routine that lasts about 5-10 minutes to give a signal that it is nap time (dim lights, play soft music, put on a sleepsack, etc). I believe we followed the 2/3/4 schedule around that age. Morning nap 2 hours after wake up. Afternoon nap 3 hours after morning nap ended. Go to bed 4 hours after the afternoon nap ends.
Anon says
I found that CIO did not work for my baby at naps, even though it was our go-to at night. Sorry, naps are a moving target. You can always try different approaches and see.
Anonymous says
We’ve been socially distancing/self isolating for months. We do take neighborhood walks and will talk to neighbors from 20 feet away, but other than that: we’ve been WFH, groceries are delivered, no other contact.
My area is starting to (thoughtfully and I do trust our local public health experts) slowly open. We had our first foray into starting to loosen our really strict closure – on a walk, I let my kid get sprayed with a super soaker by the neighbor kid. They ran around – staying apart – and just… were kids for like 10 minutes.
My anxiety has been through the roof when I’ve been thinking about going back to school/daycare/other humans. I always knew that we would have to ‘jump back in’ to real life but have been very unsure of when and how to do that… well, it felt good to let my kid be a kid for 10 minutes (in a risk limited way with a family that has been just as isolated as ours).
Anonymous says
We have similarly been really restricted. And we also allowed a few kid moments and it’s been amazing!
anon. says
We went to a public park (distanced, safely) this weekend and our 3 YO had so much fun it made me teary. We’re going to do park outings daily I think.
AIMS says
There was a NYT article about how to start slowly get your feet back in the social waters this Memorial Day. I think you’re doing exactly as recommended.
In some ways I think that the more you follow the rules the harder it is to do. It’s a little like drinking in pregnancy. I didn’t feel bad about the occasional half a glass of wine over the course of a long dinner towards the end but I have friend who was very strict and her three sips of champagne once for a wedding gave her major anxiety for months after she had a healthy baby. Just keep reminding yourself this is normal and you’re doing the right things.
Anon says
Is your friend me?? I had a glass of champagne over the course of a night on our babymoon the same night we also had a house offer accepted; and now on the rare occasion when my late night anxiety really spirals I start into worrying about that. Dear reader, my child is a perfectly great 6 year old. That champagne was not worth it for me, it turns out, ha ha.
(I promise I am otherwise a perfectly functioning parent and person).
Anonymous says
I need help. My 3.5 year old is driving me crazy (late summer birthday). I am sure he’d like the structure of daycare back. Our current plan is to keep them home all summer. Neither of our works will require us back before then. So we are trying to figure out some strategies.
He is in total three year old mode. He tests all boundaries. He thwarts every strategy. If we give choices, he demands another choice. If we make it a game, he says he won’t play or he kicks (or bites which is an unwelcome return!). He has always been terrible about going to nap/bed and his defiance only makes It that much more difficult.
He’s awesome at some things (verbally, great on the potty, great logical reasoning). I find myself mad a lot more than I want to be. Any advice?
We also have a toddler who is in a super awesome sweet easy stage, which only makes the behavior seem that much worse (which isn’t fair, but is true).
Anon says
So we are sending our 3.5 year old back to daycare when it opens. They are being very careful and thoughtful with the kids. We aren’t doing any other activities besides walks, hikes and bike rides where we know we can have the space we want from others. She NEEDS the daycare structure, social time and learning for her mental health. Hiring a nanny won’t do it for her. So that’s our plan. I’d look for ways you can incorporate more of what he truly enjoyed at daycare (for some kids it’s the routine, for others it’s social, art, etc). Or consider sending him back.
Realist says
A minimum of 1 hour of highly active time outside would help a lot if that isn’t already on your schedule and is feasible.
Anon says
Honestly I’d send your child to daycare. That sounds awful and your child sounds unhappy too. Just because you can keep your child home doesn’t mean you should.
Jocelyn says
Amen to sending him, we sent our almost 4 year old back to daycare and after only a week there is a huge change. He is so dang happy now it makes me realize how much he was truly missing daycare and was unable to verbalize it. If you still want to avoid daycare then I would aim for A LOT of physical activity, it’s the only way my 3 year old wasn’t a terror during quarantine and he is usually very easy-going. Basically spending all day outside was the only way to have the day go as smooth as it can with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
anon for this says
Mine is just under 3 but this described him as well, and is a big part of the reason I had a meltdown and really want to be able to send him back asap. I’m not even sure a nanny would help, he needs structure and to be physically separated from us. My parents have been helping watch him which is the only way we’re both able to still work full time, but he’s incredibly spoiled* now and its just… not sustainable. Obviously look at the risk in your area and specific daycare reopening policies but a healthy, safe child/family is more than just “isolating to keep COVID from spreading”. Like his risk of bringing COVID home is some tiny theoretical %, but his risk of being hit by a car if he darts out into the street again while we are trying to eat dinner and can’t catch him is… prob higher. (we installed a special childproof lock after this incident) He NEVER misbehaved like this when he went to daycare. He had tantrums, sure, but not the type of acting out and regressing he’s experiencing from months of separation from his peers and caregivers.
*I just mean my parents are not professional caregivers, they’re his grandparents, and they indulge him
lsw says
Our daycare restarts tomorrow and I am feeling so many emotions!! I am so nervous, because things will be so different for him. My colleague’s daycare reopened last week and she said it has been a miracle for her kid, so I’m hoping for the same. It feels like the first day of drop off all over again…
AnotherAnon says
I give you permission to feel all your feelings but IMHO it’s going to be great! We started week 2 today (half days) and kiddo (3) and I were both so happy and excited to get out the door this morning.
Anon says
I felt the same way. Hang in there.
lsw says
Thank you!!
AIMS says
This is a weird issue to have and I don’t even feel right calling it an issue but my kids walk around all day asking for food. I think they’re just bored. We feed them plenty, I swear. And at first I thought maybe they’re growing as I know some days they will eat much more than others but it’s pretty constant now for the last month and a half at least. No one has any weight issues and I don’t want to give them any, but two and often three full breakfasts, plus snacks, and an early lunch seems excessive. What do I do? Just let them graze on demand or insist on set meal times/snack as in school times. For reference, they’re two and four.
Anonymous says
We have set snack and meal times. I don’t have time to be getting them snacks all day. They do get three snacks as we eat dinner late and they have water sippy cups available all day. Snack might be a couple items like banana and apple sauce or grapes and yoghurt. We kept them on this schedule because it’s what they were used to from daycare. Breakfast 7:30 – 8. Snack 10, lunch 12/1230, snack 3pm, snack 5:30, family dinner at 7pm.
Cb says
I started giving my son sausages for his snacks. I think he needs the protein to fill up.
DLC says
We have set snack time (11am and 3:30p) and then fruit that is always accessible (fruit bowl with bananas and clementines and a bowl of grapes. We’ve always had this fruit system, ever since the kids are young, though we had to hide the apples because the toddler would often take two bites of an apple and leave it in odd places.). Our kids are 8 and 3, and I agree that sometimes it is boredom. If they say they are hungry at non meal or snack times, I point them to the fruit and tell them to get it themselves. Sometimes I will open the banana or peel the clementine for the 3 year old. These days, I do try to make them self snack at the dining table to minimize the wandering food issue.
Clementine says
We do meals and snacks at set times, but we do have an option for a snack that is always available (usually this is an issue right before bed). In our house, it’s plain buttered toast or a spoonful of peanut butter.
If they’re truly hungry? They’ll go for the toast/PB. If they’re just fishing? Nah, no thanks.
Clementine says
Also, we couldn’t do fruit as a snack because one of my kids is a fruit bat and would subsist 100% on fruit if we let them.
Spirograph says
lol fruit bat kid. I have two of those as well. 7 year old is currently missing half his front teeth, which keeps him from swiping apples, but we have to keep an eye on bananas and store the berries on the top shelf of the fridge, or they will just disappear.
Anon says
We do set snack and meal times, which is generally what I see recommended. It also drives me much less crazy than feeding them constantly. We also try to make snacks have a protein + carb + fruit/veg, rather than just crackers or something less substantial. Daycare schedule was 7:00 breakfast, 9:15 snack, 12:15 lunch, 3:30 snack, 6:00 dinner. My kids get up later now, so we skip the morning snack and just do 8:45 breakfast, 12:00 lunch, 4:00 snack, 6:00 dinner. If they’re starving and dinner isn’t ready yet we’ll give them some pepper or carrot sticks. Occasionally they ask for a morning snack around 10:30/11 and we’ll give them something because it generally means they’re legit extra hungry.
AnotherAnon says
+1 to the advice for set meal times and snack times (assuming no food insecurity issues here), but also, I remember doing this in Summer. Can confirm it was boredom, not hunger.
Anonymous says
Oh my goodness say no! Mine would eat all day every day. They get three meals and two snacks and I still say no at least a dozen times a day.
Anon says
We let my (super picky) 2.5YO kid graze all day, but she also only eats when she is hungry (so, for instance, she might eat a big breakfast and then not eat again until a slightly early dinner), and (most days) that typically lines up with meal times. Given she only eats a handful of things these days (yogurt, waffles, chicken nuggets, dried fruit, bacon and bread are her main food groups), it really hasn’t been an issue on the when (and I just keep repeating over and over to myself that food is not a battle and she will eventually outgrow this phase even as it slowly kills me).
Toddler eye patch says
My 3.5 year old needs to wear an eye patch. The doctor suggested either a big one that sticks over her eye like a band-aid, or a cover for one side of her glasses. I think I can do pretty well with having her wear the big band-aid, but has anyone used the cover? There are like a million etsy sellers and I’m not sure the right search words.
Clementine says
One of my friends used one for her kid (strabismus) and she says she ordered a few but remembers getting several through patch pals. patchpals.com
OP says
Thank you! That is exactly the kind of site I was looking for. If anyone else has any suggestions (esp with getting your kid to wear these) please feel free to weigh in!
Anon says
We did the bandaid patches from Ortopad and those seemed to work the best. We would stick them on/off our clothes a few times first to get it a little less sticky. But I’ll be honest, my son hated them and we weren’t as compliant as we should have been because the struggle and tears were just not worth it.
We tried the covers for the eyeglasses and they just didn’t work. Either he took them off or he looked around them. We tried bargaining and explaining it was those or the stickers, but 2-3 year olds don’t get it.
This is one of those things you’ll want to talk to your eye doctor about. This is a really really tough thing to ask a kid to do, and your doctor should be willing to work with you on a plan that is effective but still somewhat realistic and doable with your kid. 3 was so hard – they’re old enough for other kids’ reactions to hurt their feelings, but not old enough to understand why they have to be different.
There’s a FB group called Little Four Eyes or something similar for parents of kids with glasses and/or other eye interventions. They can be a little militaristic of course, but it’s a good resource to search for options and tips.
Anon says
My daughter has to wear a patch as well so I got this set. Only way to get her to wear it is if we all wear it so I liked the pack.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07W1JM22G/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_tIwZEbFARQNM8
Anonymous says
I had to wear a cover as a kid and never minded. I don’t know where to buy one :) but it was totally fine (my vision was not repaired though, sadly).
Runner says
I want a pair of new running shorts. I loved my brooks “run happy” but they aren’t making them anymore. Should I shell out for something from lulu? Any recs?
Anon says
I love my North Face “Better than Naked” shorts.
GCA says
I really like Rabbit’s ‘hopper’ shorts, which have a nice wide waistband and several pockets and are almost weightless. Lucky sizes and (very loud) colors are 30% off right now and I just got two pairs for summer running. No, they’re not paying me to say this!
AnotherAnon says
I used to be a die hard Lulu shorts fan. I’ve had some bad experiences with them lately, including the liner of my shorts shredding the first time I wore them (before laundering!) and the store sending back my in-store pickup order without notifying me (“oh you had less than 24 hours to pick it up…did we forget to email you? lol sorry!”) All that to say, I’d try them on ebay or go with something else. I’ve got my eye on some $25 Target running shorts and may try the Rabbit’s down thread.
Anon says
If anyone is still around…my husband just got a huge promotion at work. I am in a city where restaurants etc. are closed — normally I’d take him out to a fancy dinner or throw a big party. Obviously we can order takeout, but…other ideas?? like maybe a nice present of some kind? If it was a woman I would know just what to get haha but guys are so tough especially this one who is very very particular (not into watches or things like that. is a musician but I couldn’t deign to know what guitar to buy…yikes!)
lsw says
If it were me I’d order in the fanciest meal I can, set up a nice meal with your best plates and wineglasses (after the kids are in bed??), both dress up, put on some good music, and maybe gift him a box with a toy guitar in it and a note that says you’ll treat him to a new one of his choosing.
Anon says
This is exactly what I was going to suggest.
Anonymous says
Could you do a fancy takeout dinner, and then have a surprise bubbly toast with friends via Zoom over dessert?
Clementine says
Nice beverage of his choice, sit outside (if possible) with a chacuterie board after the kids go to bed. Take a night off from chores and just chill. Vacation style.
Pogo says
Is there a fancy liquor he likes – like a special rare whiskey or whatever? (I ask my guy friends/coworkers for tips here sometimes).