This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I had my first video conference with a judge and all counsel this past week. The dress code for the four of us on the call varied. I wore a top and a blazer, but you couldn’t really tell it was a blazer based on the angle of my laptop and how close I was sitting to the camera. My opposing counsel wore a fleece half-zip that looked like it was a free swag company gift. The other attorney wore what looked like a full suit with a tie, and the judge was wearing a plain top. It was a more casual, off-the-record conversation, so I think everyone was somewhat justified in what they chose to wear. When I saw this particular top, I thought it would be a color that would look nice on a video call, it would draw attention to your face but not distract from what you were saying, and would be comfortable. I recommend the “blue velvet” color for maximum video conference bang for your buck, but it also comes in black and white. The top is currently on sale for $35.60/$44.50 (marked down from $89) depending on color and size combo. Smocked-Neck Long-Sleeve Blouse
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
LawMom says
Lawyer moms, or others with billable hour requirements, how are your hours looking right now? With daycare closed and our two kids (2 and 4) at home, my husband and I are working in shifts and each trying to balance the work demands with the constant kid demands. I’m putting in time early morning, in shifts throughout the day, in the evening, but it’s still not enough. I’m only billing about 30 hours a week right now of actual billable time. In the Before Times, it was more like 40-45 hours per week.
I know lots of people are struggling with the lack of childcare (though many parents at my firm have nannies who are still coming every day). Are most people somehow still making it work? Or are others struggling to get their billables up like I am?
Anonymous says
Honestly, my firm would be happy with 75% utilization now. The problem is that so many people are at 20-30%.
anon says
This. I’m running around 6-7.5 hours a day and feeling like that is good enough right now. I was supposed to be getting a (non-partner) promotion this year or next, and that is probably not happening, but I’m making peace with that in the medium-term.
My biggest struggle right now is that about 2-3 hours of my work each day is billable but on long-term research projects that benefit several hundred clients over years, but that are, shall we say, extremely dull. It’s very hard to get motivated to do a few hours of this non-time sensitive, non-interesting, no-client-actually-asked-for-this work after kid bedtime. In ordinary times, juniors do the bulk of it. Right now I’m getting pushed to do as much as possible personally for utilization, and I get it, but ugh. After a 16 hour day of work and childcare and housecare, it is rough.
CPA Lady says
I do pretty much the same tax returns year after year, and I don’t have an official hours goal/requirement– it’s just “do all the work you have to do and bill your time.” So I know that by the end of the year, I will have about the same total number of hours as I did last year and the year before. But I am way behind where I was this time last year– I’m about 75% of where I was this time last year.
Tax is (obviously) extremely cyclical, with me billing the majority of my hours in March/April and Sept/Oct and hardly anything in the summer. But this summer I’m expecting to be busier than normal to make up for the work that didn’t come in during March or April. Everything basically slammed to a halt in March, which is usually when things pick up dramatically.
anonforthis says
I’m a 7th year litigation associate. My hours leading up to the crisis were really bad (unusual for me, I’m usually right on track to hit 2,000 hours), so they’ve actually improved a bit since WFH started. I’m averaging 32-35 hours a week. No one has said anything (yet). I have an 18 month old, a husband also working FT from home, a dog, 3 cats, and no childcare. If it were not for the fact that my hours were already bad leading up to this, to the point where I am now tracking for under 1,700 hours, I would not be concerned. But now I am concerned, though my firm said in March it is not doing layoffs or salary cuts. My concern is that I will be stealth laid off/”fired” for productivity reasons. I do have an arbitration coming up in September (was supposed to be in June) that I am banking on billing a lot of time for, but even then I don’t see how I can possibly catch up to 1,900 hours (minimum for bonus and I assume to be in good standing).
anon says
Will there even be real bonuses though? I keep telling myself the bonus is basically already gone when I get stressed about hours.
anon says
I don’t even care about my bonus (strange to say when it’s like $100k), just don’t want to get laid off. I’m even considering asking if I can go to 80%.
Katala says
This. I’m a 7th year associate in a specialist group, and we are generally pretty busy the first 3 months of the year. So I started out ahead in March. April was low, but not awful. Some days I bill 3 hours and others (like yesterday) I bill 10. It’s very sporadic and unfortunately the internal teams I support are all very slow so they expect me to turn things around same-day but they don’t realize that 4 other teams are asking the same.
I have a 3 and 5 year old and no childcare since mid-March. My husband basically shut down his business – it’s painful, he’s turning down clients begging for help which is not good for future business – to do full-time childcare/housekeeping.
I know I should be grateful to have work, but sometimes I’m resentful that others are so slow and getting paid the same as I am. My firm is not looking at salary cuts or layoffs right now. Usually I can say, hey, at least I’m on track for a bonus and just keep plugging. But it’s really tough to ignore my kids and still work all night, all while knowing there probably won’t be a bonus even if I hit 2,000.
Realist says
I’m in a very similar situation with DH except our roles are reversed. I know it is terrible on both sides. So sorry you are going through this.
Katala says
Ugh, I’m sorry Realist. I feel just awful about DH’s business. I hate for anyone to have to face such a setback after working so hard to get a business off the ground!
Anne says
Non-billable but I probably get the equivalent of 3.5 billable hours a day. It’s rough.
Anon4this says
I had a really busy March with no child care and it was really hard. I was working on about 4 hours a sleep a night for about 3 weeks to keep up. But I figured it would slow down and I would want to have the hours in the bank. And it did. I billed a little over 40 hours a week in April, but May is on track to be more like 30 hours a week just because there isn’t enough to do. In the before times I billed anywhere from 40-60 hours a week. I do have some child care now, but if it stays slow I’m wondering if we should keep it. My office is also trying to figure out how to get people in the office (but my daycare is not opening) so that probably favors keeping the child care.
ANon says
this sounds beyond exhausting and impossible. is there any way for you to hire some help? I don’t know if you are still paying your daycare, making that financially impossible. one of my best friends has similarly aged kids, she is a doctor, and her husband just started a new job remotely, and they recently brought in help 3-4 hours/day, which she said has been a game changer
anon says
I’m a lawyer mom, but now in house. I’ve been slammed and working 50+ hour weeks. Fortunately, we have an au pair who is here and still working.
Can I ask, is there a reason that you’re not lining up a nanny? This is likely to go on through the end of 2020 and into 2021, with additional shut downs possible even after we start to reopen. There’s also a very real risk that once daycares or preschools reopen that kids could easily get sent home for 14+ days more than once if there is a positive case. Given the economic stress that is just starting–and the strong possibility of layoffs–if I was still at a firm I’d be sorting out a long term childcare solution with as much safety/social distancing as I could manage in an effort to protect my job (and my sanity). I know my organization is making plans to settle in for the medium term. I’d expect that law firms are also going to start expecting attorneys to figure out solutions, as well.
Anon4this says
Its not an insubstantial financial commitment. Nannies are expensive where I live (as is daycare) and because of the pandemic we went through an agency. Daycare cost us 36k a year for 55 hours of care a week and was downtown so we didn’t have to cover our commute with care. Our nanny with taxes and agency fees is 60k for 40 hours a week and if my office reopens I’d need more hours to cover my commute and those would need to be paid at overtime. Also if this becomes a long term arrangement the nanny will accrue and be entitled to take vacation (I think state law requires 2-3 weeks) and there is very limited possibility of finding backup care. So if you think you are potentially going to be fired or have your pay cut substantially its a big investment to make and it doesn’t solve all problems.
anne-on says
We went to an au pair once we went to real school hours (which are horrible for 2 full time working parents) but it also proved to be an amazing bonus to have live-in childcare for snow days/vacation days/summer. I’d highly suggest it as an option if it’s possible for you given the uncertainty we’re going to have over the next 12-18 mos.
I also agree with the above points about long term planning – I’d LOVE to see a vaccine be developed, but I also acknowledge that it’s likely not to happen soon, or possibly not ever, and I’m trying to mentally accept that school may be seriously disrupted for the next 1-2 full school years and plan accordingly.
anon says
Au pairs are hard to get right now with a hold on J-1 visas and the many travel restrictions. We have a new au pair who is supposed to be coming this summer, but the US consulate is closed and she can’t get a visa.
anon says
BigLaw firms will expect that an attorney can afford to pay for a nanny. They pay well and expect availability for that pay.
anon says
Where are you that state law requires 2-3 weeks of vacation? That’s a local norm where I am, but I follow these things closely and thought Maine will be the first state to require paid vacation (in lieu of mandating paid sick leave) and it’s like a week, starting this year.
Anon4this says
MD – I hadn’t looked fully at the details (still haven’t) but I looked again. Its 56 hours of sick time, but not all has to be paid – only 32 hours must be paid. So not vacation, but still paid leave in some form. The agency we worked with said that 2-3 weeks paid vacation was typical in their contracts and what nannies in the area expect to receive. I guess I conflated them, but they are different.
anon says
Thank you for the clarification, anon4this!
LawMom says
We’re considering a nanny for all the reasons you suggest. My husband is immunocompromised, so we have been reluctant to bring another person into our tiny circle. But if this truly is our reality for the rest of 2020, we might have to bite the bullet and do it. It’s unclear at this point when our daycare will reopen, and then of course we will have to make the determination of whether we’re comfortable sending our kids. We are pro-daycare for so many reasons and have never had or wanted a nanny. But things are different now so we are trying to wrap our minds around starting the process of looking for a nanny.
Anon says
just adding perspective from someone who thought they would do daycare, ended up pregnant with twins, realized a nanny would make more sense given DH’s travel schedule and lack of local family, and has a nanny who we LOVE that nannies can be wonderful too! obviously not the same as daycare and there are certain things that kids do at daycare that they don’t get with our nanny, and likely visa versa
anon says
If your DH is immunocompromised, I’m surprised that you’d consider going back to daycare this year.
It may be worth getting a nanny sooner rather than later to minimize damage to your billables.
Anonymous says
I wanted to chime in and say the nanny isn’t the perfect solution. we have a teacher coming in six hours a day to take care of our almost 5 year old twins. she does her best, but they are still loud AF, want me if they need a bandaid, want me if they get into a scuffle with each other or teacher. and they still miss other kids. I’m stuck on what to do once their pre k opens this summer or school opens in the fall, because I can’t pay the teacher/nanny to sit on the bench until one of the closures happens and she might not want to come fill in for those two weeks if the kids were exposed. my inclination is to send them and see what happens. I have a hard time focusing when I can hear them over headphones, so my work is suffering.
anon says
It’s harder with 5 yos who are starting school, but for a 2 and 4 yo and an immunocompromised husband, I’d plan to keep them with a nanny until 2021. It’s far from perfect, but so much safer than group care.
Anon says
where do you live/when are your kids’ bday that they are almost 5 and will be starting pre-k and not k in the fall?
Anon also says
Not the Anon you’re replying to, but I think she means pre-K this summer and school (aka K) in the fall. Although if “almost 5” means 5 in July, that’s not unusual to wait a year for K in a lot of areas/circumstances.
Anonymous says
anon at 10:16 here – they will start kindergarten in the fall. They were in a Montessori pre k that under normal circumstances would be open in the summer, so if they open, we may send them back for the summer.
Anonymous says
Goal is to bill 35 hours per week/7 hours per weekday. I’m getting in 6.0-7.5 hours most weekdays and making up some time on weekends.
Anon says
I’m home with a 3 year old and 10 month old and a spouse who is also wfh right now. I’d say I’m billing at 60-70% of the usual (and I’m not a big biller to start with). Transactional partner. What we’re seeing in my office is hours are down for those with kids at home and hours are down across our litigation group while courts are shut down.
Anon says
I am still making it work (around 8-9 billable hours a day, some weekend time), but the tradeoff is that it’s taking me longer to do things because I’m constantly interrupted and I am super exhausted, and my preschooler is spending most of the day with her tablet, in front of the TV or playing solo with her toys – little people, blocks, trains, puppets, etc. with minimal half-attention commentary (mmhmm, that’s great, go ask daddy type commentary) when DH is occupied. I’m typically working from 8am to 9pm or 10pm to get those hours in, with a quick break for dinner (DH usually brings me lunch and I chew between talking on midday calls). We exclusively eat leftovers or freezer food during the week to cut down on meal prep time, and there are almost no chores done during the week except for dishes. Once my deals close though, I don’t see new work coming in, so I suspect my hours will drop off drastically.
anon says
I’m not a lawyer, but I am tracking my time to some extent. And I’m dismayed by how many actual hours of work I’m getting in, despite feeling like I’m working my tail off. Husband is doing plenty, too. The whole situation is unsustainable. My daycare hasn’t reopened yet, and we’re very on-the-fence about whether to send DD back when it does. I’m looking into a part-time sitter for the summer months, which might buy us a couple more uninterrupted hours. Nannies are hard to come by in my area; au pairs are not a thing at all. I’m very hesitant to find a random person on care dot com or the like. I feel like this whole situation requires a great deal of trust, because you don’t have the right to police how people spend their time off, and yet that would have a very real impact on our family.
Jeffiner says
My husband and I only get 5-7 hours a day each, but we’ve been working 7 days a week to hit 40. Our boss haven’t had any problems with it, and we do occasionally see other people online during the weekends as well. The downside is we have not had a day off work since this began in March. We’ve discussed just using PTO and taking a weekend off, but with a kid around there’s never really a day off.
Patricia Gardiner says
Good morning! Any recommendations for a maternity exercise support belt? I am a casual jogger, now 18 weeks, no problems so far but I want to continue to job throughout pregnancy and don’t want to give myself any issues. Or is it really needed? Thank you!
Patricia Gardiner says
*jog. And why do my comments on the moms page always go to mod, but the ones on the main page go through? Same user name!
Anonymous says
I never used one of these. I jogged more or less throughout pregnancies.
NYCer says
Same here. OP, since you’re not having any issues yet, I would hold off buying one until/if you feel like you actually need one.
cbackson says
Whether it’s needed really varies by person. I ran up to 30 weeks (now I’m walking), and had a lot of issues with Braxton-Hicks starting from early in pregnancy. A support belt really helped reduce my B-H, and now that I’m only walking, it has helped reduce back pain. Mine is from Gabrialla maternity.
Pogo says
+1 that’s the one I have.
Anonymous says
21 weeks here with #3. I have the Gabriela. It helps with back pain but didn’t help with discomfort/pain in my lower abdomen. Basically it felt like my uterus was bouncing. I’ve switched to walking and am really bummed about it.
Anon says
I used the Gabriella maternity belt and the Bao Bei “sports br@ for your stomach.” FWIW, I ran up until three days before giving birth.
Like cbackson, I had Braxton-Hicks contractions after running; I found that I needed to hydrate with electrolyte drinks before and immediately after.
AnonATL says
I’m pushing 30 weeks, and have been wearing this one from the River Site for daily support: AZMED Maternity Belt.It helps a lot for lower back pain and support. Doesn’t do diddly for the upper back pain I have now though..
I wear it walking/hiking, but not running. I ran through my first trimester, and then started having some pelvic discomfort and blood pressure weirdness that led me to switch to hiking instead.
It stays in place pretty well, but it might chafe a bit when running. Someone on here once recommended one that had a strap over the top of the belly, but it seemed a bit overkill for my needs.
Anonymous says
I’m 37 weeks pregnant and use the Maternity FITsplint by ReCore Fitness. I like that there are multiple ways to align the straps. I wore it while running (walking now) and to Orangetheory classes.
Anon says
Question about teaching your kid to read. My toddler is 5 1/2. Before quarantine started, his teacher at his pre-school was starting to work on reading with him. It was a Spanish immersion program. They started him off with small phrases that he seemed excited by. Now, the zoom session once a week is not doing anything for him. My husband and I started working on flashcards with him (in English as neither of us speak Spanish) and it’s become the thing he hates to do before video time. What we are doing is not working. What has worked for your kids? Open to to good reading apps as well.
Anonymous says
Reading with them constantly
anon says
So I have a five year old too and read with her constantly but she likes more advanced chapter books (think Little House on the Prairie) that I think are helping with her vocab but not reading skills – should I be pushing more picture books or easy readers?
GCA says
Hmm, my 5yo is like this as well. The picture books and easy readers aren’t holding his interest. (My husband was almost 7 when he learned to read, so he remembers it pretty clearly, and he says he basically went straight to the advanced chapter books because that’s what he was interested in at that age.)
Io says
Kids are capable of following complex plots and vocabulary long before they can read in English (this is why most European countries start teaching reading around 7 years old).
If you’re teaching reading yourself, you should focus on BOTH: you read complicated books, kiddo reads BOB books or whatever. Phonics and decoding are very important. And your child should have books and activities that focus on those.
anon says
Get the book “How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.” It only takes 15 minutes a day and gives the parent a script to teach phonics correctly with zero planning.
AnotherAnon says
I’m 34 and I remember my mom teaching me to read using this. FWIW I love to read.
anon. says
We bought this too. It’s slow going for us – literally one page a day that they recommend – but it seems to be working a LITTLE.
Jeffiner says
This is a great book…if your kid is into it. A friend’s son is an amazing reader thanks to this book. My daughter would rather have her toenails pulled out that do one of the lessons. Some kids just aren’t into it, and forcing them won’t make it better. We have a random Pre-K workbook that has worksheets for each letter of the alphabet, and my daughter loves doing those each day.
My mother is an elementary teacher, and she keeps telling me over and over again that I do not need to teach a 5 year old to read (although she taught me to read at age 4). The private school my daughter was accepted into told us the same thing. Its more important to read to kids, so that they hear a variety of words and phrases, understand the left-to-right layout of words and sentences, and learn to listen and comprehend stories. Some kids want to read early, some don’t, but at 5 there are a lot more important things for their development than reading.
Anon says
We’re using this with our 4 yo and it is working well! Though she did already have letter recognition from preschool. Not sure if that matters.
anon says
So you have a preschooler, and I take it that he’s not in kindergarten yet? Honestly, I would not push reading at this time; it’s likely to do more damage than good.
Spirograph says
I don’t think it will do damage, but I agree that it’s not necessary to push reading at this point. From observing my own kids, and from what my mom has told me about me and my siblings, early reading enthusiasm is incredibly personality dependent. If your child wants to learn to read, you can follow his lead. If he’s not interested, just keep reading aloud to him.
My first grader is very high energy, gets easily frustrated, and is not a strong reader yet. We’re letting him pick his own books to read to us, and he picks easy ones, ones he has memorized, etc. I was concerned about this, but his teacher has basically said that’s great, it builds his confidence, and we should focus on keeping reading a positive experience at this point.
anon says
I could totally see this for a kindergartner, but I’d be worried about a kid who was behind in reading at the end of 1st grade. Our second grade teachers expect kids to be able to read and start working on read-to-learn skills. I’m asking my 1st grader to read independently in level appropriate texts daily, while continuing to read to her and with her. I keep it positive, but I also don’t let my kid avoid practicing.
Spirograph says
Thanks for your input, my son is reading at the target level defined by his school. He’s not a strong reader, but he’s not falling behind either. At this point, 8 weeks into pandemic lockdown, I’m concerned about his behavior, mental health, and relationship with me and my husband more than his reading ability (he’s a smart kid with college educated parents in a good suburban school district. Long term, he will learn to read). After consulting with his teacher and the school counselor and talking it over with my husband, we’re comfortable with this approach. I’m absolutely certain it would be different if he were still going to school every day, but here we are.
Katala says
This seems right to me. My oldest just turned 5 and has been reading for a while. He started by saying words he saw in the car like “open house” then just really started reading everything around him. We got him early readers, he wasn’t interested, and daycare does phonics and things but obviously is teaching to a 4 yo class so it’s not really reading yet.
He started playing Minecraft in the last month and that’s honestly accelerated his reading the most out of anything, so…
Anonymous says
Hooked on Phonics Learn to Read
Cate says
I like Bob books!
anon says
Bob books pair really well with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.
Once they can read Bob books, the Dear Dragon and Elephant and Piggie books are great.
GCA says
Wait, is the concern about reading specifically, or is the concern about maintaining progress in the immersion language? Those are different things, and given his age and interest level I would probably focus my energy on the latter. If you are not Spanish speakers, this could be a chance to pick up some basic spoken Spanish along with him. Maybe apps like Duolingo or Little Pim? (Kind of in the same boat, because kid 1 is 5 and was doing a regular Mandarin class through daycare – like one lesson block once or twice a week. I do speak it and I would love to help him keep it up but have no time! He isn’t reading in any language yet.)
Redux says
And in case it’s not obvious to you, OP, since you don’t speak Spanish, reading in Spanish is WAY EASIER than reading in English since the language is much much more phonetic. Even if you don’t speak it, you could probably read basic words just by sounding them out.
Anonymous says
Is your child a toddler or 5 or in preschool? I’m confused.
Anon says
There are a surprising number of people who refer to 5 year olds as toddlers.
Anon says
what age range is technically toddlers?
Anon says
I would say 1-2. To me 3-5 is preschoolers and then after that they are elementary schoolers or just kids.
TheElms says
I always thought it was 1-2 year olds. 3 and 4 year olds are preschoolers to me, and 5 year olds are kindergartners. But this is based on nothing other than what was in my head.
Anon says
Toddler literally means a kid who is “toddling” (walking unsteadily) around, so it’s weird to me to call any child over 2 a toddler.
Anon says
Yes I get weirdly annoyed by people’s misuse of toddler. It is definitely 1-2.
SC says
My son just turned 5. Caveat that he has not had any exposure to foreign languages yet, besides a few words from tv shows. We read a wide range of books to him–easy picture books, Dr. Seuss type books, level 1 and 2 readers, more complex picture books, and chapter books. He plays games on the iPad that supposedly help with phonics (mostly ABC Mouse). We have a few toys and activities to work on rhyming words–puzzles where you match the rhyming words, word games when we’re killing a few minutes, books where he has to find the rhyme, etc. We try to integrate reading into other parts of our day–what a sign says, the “on/off” switch on a machine, etc. We’re taking a relaxed approach though, and let Kiddo learn as he wants to. (We are already more structured about some OT and play therapy exercises.)
Anonymous says
Read lots of picture books in English. Point at the words as you read. There should be an app or website that reads ebooks to him in Spanish on the ipad. Our kids are in kindergarten French immersion in Canada and literally the only thing the teachers have asked us to do is keep exposing them to French books – they had the class signed up for a website that reads ebooks to kids in French. I speak French but most parents don’t.
octagon says
For the iPad, Kiddo loves Endless Reader and it’s made a big difference in reading comprehension. We also do StudyCat (monthly subscription) for Spanish games. (They have several languages available.)
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t work on it if not interested. I would keep talking about sounds, playing rhyming games, and reading interesting books. My son’s preK plays a fun game where the pick a letter in dictionary and pick a word, then explain the meaning of the word and the class has to guess the word (like for z, “it’s like a black and white horse!” and class guesses zebra). I was not interested in learning to read until closer to 7 because the books were boring compared to what I was reading with my parents. I’d really recommend not pushing it if not yet interesTed particularly if not even in kindergarten yet. If you really want to, my son (who is independently interested in learning) is enjoying the Bob Books series.
Anonymous says
This is why kids need to be taught to read very early, when they will pick it up naturally and will still be interested in books for early readers. If you wait until 5 or 6 or 7, they aren’t interested in the beginner books and are generally resistant because it seems like work. If you catch them at 3 or 4, they don’t even realize that you are trying to teach them something.
Anonymous says
I mean, I learned very quickly once interested and was immediately reading way above grade level, so I don’t really understand why you would need to push kids to read at 3 or 4. Why?
Anonymous says
Because it is easier and you don’t need to push.
Sight Words help says
Jumping off earlier post, suggestions for teaching sight words? My 6 year old needs help here. Good apps or books that have helped? We’re reading a lot, but I really want to double down and get her comfortable on sight words so she’s more confident reading – she’s good at phonics but the ones that you can’t sound out are where she gets caught up.
anon says
I have a 6 yo and, honestly, I’d just keep them reading and writing. Do you have a word wall with sight words for writing practice? What is your 6 yo reading? It helped lots when I got my 6 yo hooked on a series.
Anon says
+1 we have a word wall. The back of kiddo’s closet door.
Anon says
We are playing Bingo. Draw out a board, write in the words, and take turns being the one who calls the words and the one who plays the game.
Katarina says
I am sure it varies, but flashcards worked for us. We made them based on a list from school, although I am sure you can buy some.
Anonymous says
Some kids like Quizlet for flash cards.
Anonymous says
Daycare may reopen next month and they said they will follow recommended guidelines which may involve having teachers wear masks. I’m all for public health and science but am somewhat concerned about the developmental impact on my baby of not being able to see his teachers’ mouths. It’s pretty important to see facial expressions and mouth movements when you’re learning to talk and understand language, right? Wondering if anyone has thoughts on this topic.
Anon says
I wouldn’t worry about it. He will have exposure to unmasked people at home and to unmasked other babies/children at school, plus he will hear his teachers talking a lot. Even if it is less than optimal, I think it will be the rule at pretty much all daycares so I don’t see a viable alternative except a nanny and any nanny you hire might want to wear a mask too.
Anonymous says
Yeah, the alternative is finding a nanny or having a family member continue to help out, but the family situation is not ideal. It just seems like such a big chunk of time – we get maybe 2 hours in the morning and maybe 2 in the evening with him, vs 8 or so at daycare.
Anonymous says
So you want him to catch Covid?
Anonymous says
I’m asking about the potential impact of masks on child development. Obviously not advocating for my child to get sick.
Realist says
I understand why you might worry, but don’t think you need to be. The masks are necessary for the time your baby is at daycare. You will be able to make up for it by spending interactive time with the baby without a mask. Babies and their brains are very resilient. Unless your baby never gets the chance to interact with someone without a mask, they will be fine. Think about all the babies that easily learn two languages, or learn to interact with a deaf parent or a blind parent, or learn to communicate while being deaf or blind themselves. Babies are very adaptable and your baby will be just fine and possibly even learn to read other facial clues even better than they didn’t have to observe adults in masks.
Anonymous says
That is a good point, thanks.
Anon says
Funny, just after I read this page, my school working friend posted this:
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/clear-face-masks-hearing-impaired-trnd/index.html?fbclid=IwAR3rIkBDoTJQjwp1lw4DEny4_yN9x4HTjXJEw7cFA6X7c8NOrMJnbk3MY4w
Anonymous says
One of my doctors retired early this year because she has hearing loss and could no longer lip read. Love the idea, but they also look uncomfortable. I wonder if they’ll catch on.
TheElms says
I have a related question. I have a 1 year doctor’s appointment for my kiddo in about 2 weeks. The doctor will be in a mask as will her nurse. I’ve also been asked to wear a mask. I’m fine with all of this. However, I put a mask on to show my kiddo and she lost it. She was hysterical and tantrum-ing on the floor for a solid 15 minutes during which I couldn’t get near her even after I took off the mask. (I took the mask off after about 30 seconds to a minute when she showed no signs of calming down). Do I just keep doing this until the doctors appointment and hope she gets used to it? I don’t think postponing the appointment is a good choice, both because I want her to get the vaccines she is due for and because mask wearing is going to be common for a long time.
Anon says
Yes you keep doing it. She will get used to it. I’m not trying to be insensitive but 1 year olds meltdown about anything and everything so even if she cries, you keep wearing it. I promise you’re not traumatizing her.
TheElms says
To clarify, kiddo is not wearing the mask I am. She’s never seen mom or dad in a mask and clearly we will be in one at the pediatrician’s office. I’m not worried about traumatizing her. I was more wondering if repeated exposure would desensitize her to it at all or whether she was too little for that to work. I get that kids this age tantrum all the time; mine does. However, mine has never been this upset before or this upset for this long – so I just wanted to make sure that forcing the issue wouldn’t do more harm than good.
Anonymous says
Could you try playing peek a boo with the mask a bit? I wonder if it is scary for the same reason kids that age are so into peek a boo (object permanence I think?)
Realist says
Agree that making the mask a game and having it be fun is a good idea. Masks can be scary for young children but are necessary right now.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not sure if this will make a difference, but could you just put the mask on right when you step out of the car to go to the doc appt.? I.e. don’t wear it around the house where she’s familiar with your regular face. In the doc. office, she’ll most likely be curious about everything new going on so the mask might just be one more new thing? I just took my 1.5 year old to his appt., with mask, and he was intrigued, but mostly held on to me as I was the only familiar person there. In any case, he cried a lot throughout the appointment anyway so I think doctors are used to this age group crying a lot.
Anonymous says
I had to take my kid in for a sick visit back in March when this whole thing started and he was terrified of the masked doctors and nurses and screamed the whole time. I would keep trying but she’ll get through it.
Anon says
I did this with my 2 year old last week. We played peekaboo with my mask and she eventually was fine with it. I’ve also gotten in the habit of putting it on here and there around the house because it’s not going away any time soon.
Now, she was horrified when doctor and nurse walked in in full coverings in the actual appointment, but she was healthy, and it was pretty quick so we were in and out faster than probably any other well visit I’ve been a part of in two years. It’s tough but this IS tough. You’ll do great.
Scilady says
Masks aren’t recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics for children under 2 years due to risk of suffocation. I don’t think you should worry about it, especially at the doctor’s office where everyone else will be wearing a mask and they’re spacing out appointments.
Anon says
Her kid is freaked out by her in a mask, she’s not asking the kid to wear a mask.
Anon says
Can you order a cartoon mask or something more kid friendly?
EB says
This is similar to the question above, but out daycare is opening next monday for essential workers, which I technically am, although I am working from home indefinitely and my husband worked from home before this began. We don’t NEED the care, but it sure would be nice. We are not in a hotspot, our local city and county is doing the best it can to regulate, but our governor is hell bent on opening the state back up and is not allowing local authorities to issue stricter regulations than his EOs. On zoom this morning, my daughter’s teacher asked if she was coming back on Monday and was sad to learn she was not. We decided we weren’t comfortable sending her back yet, but I don’t know if that was the right decision. So…if your daycare is open, are you sending your kids?
Lyssa says
We’re in a fairly lightly hit, currently reopening state, and decided to send my 4 year old back to preschool last week. (The program is part of a day care, though she goes for preschool purposes.) There aren’t a lot of people there, they’re taking a ton of steps to clean, and we really want her to get time to get ready for kindergarten in the fall (plus she loves it), so we decided it was the best move.
Anon says
Mine is still shut and has said they plan to be at least until August, but my kid would definitely be going if it were open. State is about average in cases per capita; our county has far fewer cases per capita than the national average. Tighter local restrictions are allowed but our city/county has not implemented any. I’ve heard absolutely nothing about daycare outbreaks in the last two months, even though a lot of them stayed open serving children of healthcare workers, which makes me think this isn’t as a big a problem as people are fearing, but who knows.
HSAL says
Ours opened this week and I sent them back (oldest is 4 1/2 and twins will be 2 next month). My husband and I are both working from home. While it was closed we did a nanny share with one of the teachers and another daycare family with children of similar ages. I don’t think there’s a right decision. For us it was that we couldn’t have managed to keep our jobs and the children alive once the teacher went back to the school, and for my oldest I think the socialization is really important. We’re not affected this year, but I hope schools (mainly elementary) can open in modified fashion this fall for that reason.
Anon says
A lot of people seem to think K-6 schools are going to reopen with middle and high schools doing distance learning, and that makes some sense to me. It’s much easier to keep elementary age kids in one room with the same classmates and teacher all day, so it’s lower risk, and older kids learn better online than the the little kids do.
Lyssa says
Several European countries have schools open, so we really should know more about these risks then we do. The fact that there don’t seem to be horror stories out there about makes me optimistic, but I hope we’ll start seeing some solid data soon.
Anon says
I agree. Daycares were never required to close in my Midwest state and as far as I know there have been zero cases linked to daycares. I hope we have more data about this soon but so far I feel like people are being overly cautious about the risks of school and daycare.
avocado says
There was an outbreak at a day care center literally within walking distance from my house. The plural of anecdote is not data, but there are definitely not zero cases associated with day care centers.
Anon says
I was referring to my state, not the whole country. I realize that I don’t have the complete data but I believe I have more than “anecdata” – I’m not just talking about my own or friends’ and family’s experiences, I read the news daily and have searched for news stories about daycare outbreaks in the state and have seen nothing, and it would certainly be newsworthy. Also worth noting that our state publishes demographic data on COVID cases and less than 2% of positive cases are in people under 19 and I believe about 20% of our population is in this age group, so kids are way under-represented. Some of that can be probably explained by the fact that for a while you had to be quite ill to get a test, but we have pretty broad testing now and have for a few weeks, and the numbers are staying steady.
avocado says
I meant that my example was not data, but it does demonstrate that there are at least some cases in day cares.
Anonymous says
Our daycare has been open, but we haven’t sent kiddo since 3/17. Our state didn’t close daycares, but the guidelines strongly encourage parents working at home to keep their kids at home. It seems that most parents at our daycare went this route. Restrictions in our state should ease this Friday. DH and I haven’t discussed it for real yet, but I have a strong suspicion that we’ll start sending kiddo part time on 5/26. Probably 3 days a week from 9-2:30ish for a few weeks and then 8-3ish most days.
Anon says
for those that have re-opened – where do you live and what are the new rules in place?
Jocelyn says
I just sent them back to daycare this week, they go 3 days a week in NH. Teachers all wear masks, parents are not allowed in the building, the teacher or director meets us outside to get the kiddos and again at pickup. In the infant room the teachers wear smocks that they change frequently throughout the day. Oh and the classrooms do not combine and only have 9 kids per group. I was a little reluctant to send my kids back but I couldn’t make it work anymore and keep my job, husband is in an essential business. Also NH has (at least for now) low rates that seem to be mainly confined to long term health facilities/group homes.
Boston Legal Eagle says
MA won’t reopen until June 29 unless they say otherwise, but once they do, as of now we’re planning on sending them back. I’m worried that a lot of daycares will have to shut down due to no money so I’d like to keep ours in business if possible. I also want the 4 year old in preschool/group care so not sure how well a nanny/sitter would work. And if I and hopefully husband will still be WFH through the summer, I want them out of the house! We’re low risk health wise though, and I’m not worried about catching the virus beyond just the hassle of quarantining. We’ll see about grandparents, although they are low risk (for grandparents) too.
Realist says
Daycares not coming back is a big problem that is not getting nearly enough attention. I’ve seen a few articles suggesting that, depending on location and other factors, as much as 50% of the daycare spots may just be . . . gone. That is going to be a catastrophe as places start to re-open. I’m really worried about what it means for working women, especially those with few resources.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Absolutely. If we had a decent federal government, they would step in and pay for daycares to remain open (which they should have done before via subsidies…) but unfortunately this is probably going to just be left to us to figure out as individuals.
Realist says
It is heartbreaking and maddening all at the same time.
Anon says
Daycare literally costs three times as much in your state as in mine. It’s a state-level issue, not a federal issue.
Realist says
I believe in federal subsidies for daycare. Children are the future. We’re not investing in them and very specifically not investing in mothers and it really shows.
Anonymous says
Ours is still closed, but I will send my kids as soon as it opens. State and local officials are being pretty conservative and public health-first in their response, so by the time they allow childcare and schools to open, I’m confident appropriate mitigation for the resulting community spread will be in place. My immediate family is not high risk, and I’ll be wfh for the foreseeable future.
Anon says
Co-sign.
Realist says
I really think this is a situation where you have to do what is right for your family. You can revisit your decisions every so often, but don’t let a teacher’s disappointment color your own decisions. Everyone has different levels of risk tolerance, different levels of health concerns in their home (e.g., living with elderly family members or the immune compromised), different levels of resources to deal with this situation, etc. You can only do what is best for you (obviously, within reason, you can’t put other people at risk). If you are able to keep your child home and provide a safe environment and feel that is the best choice for your family, there is no need to second-guess that decision.
Anon says
The kids with Kawasaki disease is really making us re-evaluate whether to send our kids if camp opens in NYC this summer. Suffering excruciating pain needlessly seems to be the opposite of well parented.
Anon says
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I feel like it’s inevitable that my kids and I will get it. There isn’t likely to be a vaccine widely available in the next year and a half, and I don’t know that avoiding this disease is really possible unless you stay in isolation until there’s a vaccine, which isn’t feasible for my family. If keeping my kids home through the summer meant they could safely go back in the fall, that would change my thinking, but I don’t think that’s the case at all and I guess I feel like keeping them home for a long period of time is pointless if they’re going to get it anyway. At this point my main concern is making sure the grandparents (who likely will be self-isolating until there’s a vaccine) don’t get get it, which will mean limiting visits and/or self-quarantining our family for two weeks before visits.
Realist says
Just as a quick counterpoint, there is value in delaying even if it is inevitable to get it. Delay can help healthcare capacity. Delay might reveal more treatment options or more data about risks in children. This is so hard because we don’t know much about the future, the virus, etc.
Anon says
I agree about healthcare capacity, but I think the lockdown achieved that. My understanding is that at least in my state there have never been more hospital beds and ICU beds available than there are now, since so much non-essential stuff was canceled and the anticipated COVID surge never really came (of course elective stuff is resuming now, but that wasn’t my choice and none of us can really predict how healthcare capacity will fluctuate – hospitals might very well be more overloaded in August than they are now).
Anonymous says
The lockdown kept hospitals from being overwhelmed during the lockdown. Because we are not testing, contact tracing, and isolating to achieve containment, there will be a surge in cases after lockdown is lifted and hospitals will be overwhelmed.
Anonymous says
Anon at 12:48, your comment proves that the administration’s deliberate strategy to make us all give up and accept sickness and death as inevitable is working.
Anon says
Nah, this has nothing to do with Trump. I despise him. But I know that children have a <.01% chance of dying from this (most likely significantly lower) and I frequently cross paths with vaccine experts professionally who have told me that a vaccine for the public is likely 2-3 years away at a minimum, and possibly much longer. I'm comfortable taking a 1/10,000 chance of death so that my kids don't spend years in isolation, which will have profoundly damaging developmental and mental health effects, and as well devastating financial consequences for our family and many others. You're free to make different choices, but please don't think I'm letting our incompetent federal govt make my decisions for me.
Anonymous says
You are giving up on social distancing and accepting that your family will catch the disease. You admit yourself that if we were closer to containment you would be willing to stick it out a little while longer. You are making exactly the choice that the administration wants you to make. The administration’s deliberate strategy is not to implement an effective containment strategy and just wait until we all give up. You have done just that. The administration has won.
Anon says
I am not giving up and accepting that everyone in this country will get the disease. Those who are more at risk than my family can and should continue to self-isolate, and in fact my parents and in-laws plan to continue and we will not do anything to put them at risk. But every human (in the world, not just the US) has to make a choices between a) self-isolating if/until we have a vaccine and b) returning to some semblance of normal life, with the understanding there’s a reasonably good chance of eventually catching the disease. If a vaccine for the public were a realistic possibility in the next 6 months I might choose option (a), but it isn’t, and we have to make decisions based on the world we have, not some fantasy world where a vaccine will be widely available very soon. I’m not going to keep my kids completely isolated for 2 or more years, because I believe the mental, emotional and financial consequences of that outweigh the risks of getting the virus, and because I’m not going to do that, I believe it’s likely we’ll catch it at some point. I am not “giving up on social distancing” and I’m still going to take certain precautions to protect myself and others (I see myself avoiding most kinds of non-essential travel, for example). If it makes you feel better to tell yourself I’m a Fox News viewer who is swayed by Trump’s feelings on this, knock yourself out. But I’m not, and I’d say 75% of my highly educated, liberal friend group feels the same way.
Anonymous says
You are missing my point. The administration has set you, and all of us, up with a choice between (1) remaining on self-imposed lockdown for a very long time to protect yourself and your family and (2) giving up and accepting that you and your family are going to get the disease. You are reacting to those options in the way that the administration desires, even though you don’t like or agree with the administration. The administration has manipulated your options and hence your behavior. If better leadership had created a third option, social distancing for a somewhat longer period of time followed by containment, you probably wouldn’t be ready to throw in the towel and accept option 2 right now.
Anon says
“You are giving up on social distancing and accepting that your family will catch the disease. You admit yourself that if we were closer to containment you would be willing to stick it out a little while longer. You are making exactly the choice that the administration wants you to make. The administration’s deliberate strategy is not to implement an effective containment strategy and just wait until we all give up. You have done just that. The administration has won.”
No. There are many of us who feel this way and felt this way long before the current President started pushing this agenda. When we went into lockdown my husband and I had long conversations about how long we, personally, wanted to stay sequestered regardless of how long the shutdown persisted in our state. We came to the same conclusions and have the same perspective as Anon at 12:48. One thing I am really, really sick of is the politicization of the lockdown. If you are Democrat you are supposed to be pro-indefinite-lockdown; if you are not for that you must be a Republican. That is nonsense. I am a lifelong Democrat and have never voted for one Republican politician in my life. I do not believe we can continue an indefinite lockdown and my beliefs that catching Covid will be less damaging than my son being isolated from his school and his friends for years has nothing to do with me “buying in to Trump’s agenda.” Saying that is reductionist and it stereotypes people. Open your own mind, Anonymous at 2:15, and accept that this is not necessarily a political issue. Despite your attempts to make it one.
Anonymous says
I’m in NYC, and I doubt you will have to make this decision. The way things are going I cannot imagine that camps will be open. (I hope I am wrong). I am also alarmed by this new syndrome but am trying to tell myself the incidence rate is really low compared to how many kids have probably had COVID in this area.
CPA Lady says
I live in the south in a state that is pretty much fully open. Not in a past or current hot spot. Daycare reopens in a couple of weeks. Kiddo’s not going back right away. I can’t tell if I’m being overly cautious or reasonable. Everyone around me is acting like this is no big deal. It makes me feel like I’m the crazy one.
Realist says
You are not crazy. Mother’s instinct is a thing. Listen to it.
Anon says
what are their new rules? are they taking kids temperatures? i would like to send my kids back, but it seems like they will be kicked out every other day for a runner nose or non fever that the daycare has decided is a fever
Anonymous says
Ours was never closed. We haven’t gone since 3/13 and aren’t planning to go back soon. Partly because ours is hospital-affiliated and partially because we are worried about getting sick. I am WFH until August and will keep them through then. I have no idea if I am too conservative but I am worried about it.
anon. says
I’m so glad you asked this and I’m going to come back later and read everyone’s comments.
I anticipate our state opening daycare the second week of June, and our daycare to open for limited hours. At this point, after discussing at length, we are planning to send our 3 YO and 6 month old. We both work full time and it’s just very very hard to get anything done. We trust the facility, which has been cutting edge in sending updates and making plans, to do the best they can under the circumstances.
A Virgin Who Can't Drive says
DH and I are both essential workers. He goes in every day and I go in a few days a week and WFH the other days. Mercifully, our daycare has remained open and we send our toddler every day, even when I WFH. It was the best decision for our family and I’m grateful to our daycare center for making it possible.
CCLA says
We will probably send our kids when daycare reopens, supposedly in June. DH is an essential worker but hasn’t been to work in 2 months (doctor, and they are slow right now so he’s not been needed, but probably will go back next week). Daycare is linked with the hospital and has been shut this whole time, which is somewhat surprising since their main clientele are kids of the doctors. It’s worked fine for us for now since DH has been watching our kids (1 and 3) but the 3 yo especially is taking it rough, she is very social. Reopen in June would have shorter hours and a cap on the number of kids, kids 3+ would wear masks as would the teachers, and a ton of other protocol changes. We could go back then, and I really want the kids to go back for their social development and because we are in an apartment in the city so their outdoor time is lacking. If we get more information suggesting it’s a bad idea, we’ll reevaluate and consider bringing in a nanny. The lack of being able to plan anything is so infuriating, though I know that’s not anything unique to us!
Emily S. says
Our daycare has been open for a week following a month long shutdown but we are not sending our kids back until the original stay at home order expires in June. Out of a class of 13, 7 are back now, but I expect it to slowly increase. In our house, the decision was, it sure would be nice to send them back, but we knew all the kids going back right away would be kids of front line workers; teachers need time to get used to new protocols; cases in our county are largely coming from nursing homes/assisted living, but still rising, so we still have community spread. One of us was more comfortable with the risk than the other, and we always default to the more conservative risk position.
octagon says
I had a ragestroke this morning when a very senior person asked in a large meeting what new things people were doing in our 2+ months of WFH. So many people said things like “gardening!” “long workouts!” “baking new pastries!” when I feel like I am completely drowning with a small child. When it was my turn I said “staying up until 1 am every night to keep up with life, that’s new.” Probably too much snark for work but I am OVER IT when people don’t acknowledge that this is not a vacation for everyone.
Jeffiner says
You are my hero.
Realist says
I said to DH last night: “I don’t know why it bothers me so much that so many people don’t get that this is hard for parents. It wouldn’t change anything if people outside of our home understood how hard this is. It would still be just as hard. But it is maddening and I have feelings about it and I’m not sure what to do with that.”
Anonymous says
It would change something because you’re human and receiving empathy from other humans is helpful when you are struggling. Even when they can’t ‘do’ anything about it, feeling seen about the struggles you are facing is important.
anon says
I feel the same way. One of my close colleagues has grown children and has been so supportive about what the young parents on staff are going through. Others just … don’t get it, or don’t care. Or secretly think the moms are loving every moment of being with their kids.
Over.it.
Clementine says
I just replied to an email complaining that we hadn’t sent X update since we were in the office and that it caused a question (easily answered) to come up. They basically were like, ‘WE NEED THOSE.’ (They do,but it’s no where near as important as they’re acting.)
WELL. My staffer who does that update can’t WFH (no internet, no computer, even if I could get them one with a wifi hotspot I don’t know that they could figure out how to work that). It’s cool, I had a backup for that… who gave notice and left during the closedown.
My email was sassy and I flat out said, ‘I will do this between 8PM and midnight tonight.’
GCA says
I finally broke today and said that our thrice-weekly team meetings coincided precisely with the time that the toddler melts down and needs a nap. And that I only have so many rooms in the house in which two children and two parents can work/ play/ coexist. (My boss is in a large house and has a live-in housekeeper.)
IHeartBacon says
Your response was very tame. Whenever someone from work asks me how things are going, I am brutally honest with them. I am fortunate enough to be in a position (partner) where I can talk about the WFH-parenting struggles and not have to worry about how talking about my kid might affect people’s perception of me as a worker. I have also made a very strong effort to reach out to the women associates who have children at home with them and check in with them to commiserate about the struggle, even associates whom I otherwise do not really interact with because they work for different partners. I don’t know if it helps them at all, but I hope so. Or, at the very least, I hope it’s not causing them harm.
LittleBigLaw says
As an associate who is drowning with 2 kids at home, i can promise you it definitely helps them. Thank you for spending the energy you have to do this for these women!
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
The discussions above re: billable hours got me thinking long term. If you have school-aged kids, have you made a long term childcare plan yet? We have not so far but starting to think it might be time.
Anonymous says
How are we even supposed to do this? I have no idea what kindergarten will look like next year – 5 days a week? Something different? Will it match or depart from my spouse’s high school teaching schedule? Will it match or depart from 2 year old’s daycare? I have no idea how we can even plan. And we can’t afford a nanny so what does that mean, spouse waits to the last minute to decide if he needs to quit his job and take care of the kids? Gaaaaah.
Anon says
This is where I am. I don’t know how to plan for this. Nanny is completely cost-prohibitive (and also space-prohibitive – it’s already too distracting in here with two kids doing elementary zoom calls and schoolwork and two adults doing conference calls and real-work, adding another adult wouldn’t decrease the chaos). My plan is going to be for all of us to wing it as long as we can until something breaks or someone gets fired. Our grandparents (my usual backup to school/ after care) are all immuno-compromised and live far away, and see the space issue on adding people to this house. Our teenage babysitters are all struggling with their own workloads and most will be taking summer classes to try to catch up.
The options are pretty limited for dual income families that don’t make bank, for quite a long time.
anon says
That’s where I’m at. I would LOVE to plan ahead. But how? We don’t even know whether school is going to happen, and if it does, what it will look like. I sort of feel like planning is futile and yet I know that’s going to bite me at some point.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Yep, this is my problem. I have no idea what camp or school or anything will look like for the rest of the year….
Anonymous says
Same Anon from 2:06 – at least spouse will be home all summer. But I can’t quite see how daycare will work for us if the kids will have to be home any time they have colds. We have always had fabulous back up care in the form of local retired grandparents … who are no longer available as childcare until we have a vaccine. But I’m looking at a pay cut and spouse makes a teacher salary so I also can’t see how we can possibly get a nanny for 2 year old. Maybe nanny share, but then you still have the issue of kids or nanny getting sick…
Anonymoose says
We awoke this morning to a headline in the local paper that area schools are preparing for virtual school in the fall and I almost cried (still have not ruled it out yet for today). We already have started trying to see if we can get a summer babysitter (probably from a neighbor family where one parent WFH and the other has an office that we know is distancing), but we need a tutor/teacher and not just childcare for school.
Anonymous says
Omg where do you live???
Scooter Rec says
Recommendations for a scooter for. 2 year old? Radio flyer or LaScoota? TIA!
Anonymous says
Micro mini!
Anon says
+1 to Micro Mini. My small-side 7 year old is still using hers. I think they have another size, the Macro, but I’m thinking we’ll graduate her to a skateboard instead.
anon says
+2
Anonymous says
Anon, you might want to size up or pull the trigger on the skateboard. We kept using the micro long after my son was too big and eventually I realized he was toppling forward on it a lot, probably because he was too big/top heavy for it. He had a really bad face plant that I still feel bad about. Granted he’s a klutz (he gets it from me), but FYI as this was a potential safety risk that didn’t occur to me.
Anon says
Micro Mini. They are worth every penny.
anon for this says
Today is the day (well yesterday I suppose) where I officially feel broken by this situation. Husband and I both have organization shakeups that could lead to opportunities for us, but that means studying/prepping for Big Interviews while wfh FT with a toddler, plus then taking on that potentially way more stressful job. Toddler is cranky and misbehaving all the time it seems. I’m very pregnant, which is the other reason I feel like I can’t go for this promotion even though it is the perfect thing for me career wise, and then that makes me feel like I’m putting my career on the back burner to let DH go for his role instead which makes me feel blah. I live in a hard hit state and the uncertainty over daycare and not knowing when this will end is crushing my spirit. Finally, yesterday I presented on a call with my boss and VP and it just went horribly, so much so that they scheduled a do-over this afternoon after giving me homework, and now DH is stuck at the office so I’ll be relying on the TV to placate aforementioned misbehaving toddler while trying to redeem myself amidst insane office politics (see: organizational shakeup).
I just needed to get that out there. I know I’m not alone. But this just really, really sucks.
Anon says
so many hugs. do you have any friends with college aged or high school aged children who you know are social distancing that you could hire to come and help you?
Realist says
Hugs
Anon says
Wow that’s a lot.
I like the suggestion of a high school student to help out. Also ask your family if they want to Zoom/Facetime with your toddler. Get takeout. Outsource as much as possible. Keep one room clean and toddler-free.
Mathy says
You’re not alone. Hugs.
Anon says
following up on the above thread – what are some of the new protocols in place at different daycares? i live in a state where the governor is opening everything up with little care for anything and am just curious as to the new policies/procedures
Anon says
Ours hasn’t reopened yet, but they sent an email about their plans and asked for parent feedback. The highlights were:
-temperature checks daily for students and staff
-limited hours (8 hours per day instead of 10) to allow for an hour of cleaning before and after the day
-staff leave their outdoor shoes outside the classroom and wear indoor shoes in the room (they should have done this a long time ago, imo…so many gross chemicals and bacteria outside!)
-contactless drop-off, so parents walk students to the door of the building and a teacher takes them from there
-same procedures for pickup, you call the school and tell them you’re ready for your kid
-can only drop off during a narrow window (8-9 am, if your child is not there by 9 am they can’t attend)
-no more than 10 children per class (my 2 year old is in a class of 8 so won’t affect her, but not sure what the plans are for the bigger rooms – they normally have up to 20 although I imagine they won’t be at full capacity immediately).
-smocks for teachers in the infant/toddler rooms
-separate playground areas for each class to discourage cross-class mixing
-trying to keep siblings in the same class (no idea how this would work since classes are age-based)
-bedding sent home for laundering daily (this seems basically pointless to me but is not something I’m going to fight them on)
-no more family-style meals
Interestingly, no mention of masks. I suggested it to them (for teachers and staff, not for kids, since I fully understand the point that kids likely can’t keep a mask on and it will do more harm than good to have one that’s constantly taken on and off).
Anon says
those sound like reasonable measures under the certain circumstances. where do you live? have they said anything about what they will do if someone gets sick? or what the temperature threshold is for not being allowed to attend?
Anon says
Midwest, our state and county never officially required daycares to close but a lot of them (including mine) did. The temperature cutoff will be the same as before, 100.4. They said if a positive COVID case is confirmed, the center will close for two weeks, unless that person was in the building for less than 10 minutes (like I guess a mailman or someone like that?). For ordinary sickness, they are asking you to be fever free for 48 hours instead of 24 as previously required.
Anon says
Oh also apparently all this guidance comes from the CDC so I bet a lot of other daycares will be following the same things.
CCLA says
I noted ours above, but in more detail, our daycare plans to reopen June 1 (i’ll believe it when I see it) and to do the following:
-limit hours (830-230 instead of 7-6…yikes, but ok)
-no more than 10 kids per room…some rooms had up to 18 before in the older group so they’ll be giving priority based on job position at the hospital to which the daycare is tied
-masks for teachers and kids ages 3+
-I’m sure there will be more but that’s all we’ve heard so far. We are in the Los Angeles area; our particular part of the county hasn’t been hit badly, but the county in general is not getting things under control, and I fear that things may look worse here soon.
CA says
I’m in CA where daycares were deemed essential and thankfully our large center never closed.
Our center has been doing the following:
-9 hours per day (8-5) instead of 12 (7-7 – though no one’s kids were actually there 12 hours, it just gave flexibility for parents with their start and end time).
-Contactless drop off – entry and exit through the same door where a teacher is waiting
-Temperature checks at entry
-Washing kids hands (except infants) upon entry
-Masks for teachers all day, masks for parents at pick up and drop off.
-They were initially not comingling kids in the preschool and keeping them in defined groups. I think attendance dropped so precipitously that they’re not doing this anymore.
HSAL says
Midwest, daycares were never ordered to close. Limited hours (8-5 – 8:30-2:30 is bananas), dropoff and pickup at door (you stay in your car until it’s your turn), temperature checks at dropoff and throughout the day, increased cleaning procedures, no combining classes, masks for teachers and staff. If there is a diagnosed case, that classroom will close for 14 days. The directors/staff aren’t entering the classrooms unless there’s an emergency, which I think is to avoid the issue of them having to quarantine as well.
CCLA says
Right?! And most of the kids nap from 1-3 normally, so I asked what the plan was for that and they’re planning to shift nap time earlier (cool, my toddler will probably nap only an hour and go to bed at 630 then). I’m glad we have a few weeks to evaluate because my desire to send them back may wane with more info like the hours. I understand the need to limit time in the building and to leave time for cleaning, but do not understand stopping at 230. At all.
Emily S. says
For our church run daycare: classes will be capped at 8 or 9 kids for a total of 10 people in a classroom; separate entrances for the babies, toddlers, and pre-schoolers (3 doors, one for each age group); no mixing classrooms (even on the playground); adults who are supervising on the playground stand 6 feet apart; kids will be spaced in classroom 6 feet apart (to me this is a stated goal and kudos to them for trying to enforce it all day); anyone entering the office has to wear a mask; parents drop off at the door and a teacher takes the child inside; parents call from the parking lot for pick up and a teacher walks child to the parking lot; temperature checks every morning; children who have been in close contact with a sick person cannot come for 14 days after last contact. In VA; we were under a stay-at-home order until June 10, but it seems it will be a “safer-at-home” posture beginning Saturday. Our daycare has been open for a week; I’ve heard from parents whose kids are back that the school is on it and it is going well.
Anon says
Building on so many comments above. How are you all logistically dealing with a nanny/ babysitter? My house is smaller, which I normally love but is causing some major issues now with all four of us home. We try to negotiate who “gets” to be in a bedroom for calls but it’s not like our doors are sound proof. The sounds of story time and classroom Zoom calls still come through the background – I know because coworkers have commented on hearing my kids play. And even if they can’t, I still find it incredibly distracting to hear my family on the other side of the door, and struggle to focus on my work.
I can’t see how adding a babysitter would help us. Even if we both holed up in a bedroom, then we’d just hear each other’s calls better through the bedroom walls. What am I missing??
anon says
You’re not missing anything; you’re in an impossible situation. I am likely hiring a sitter for the summer, and I’m hoping the kids can be outside as much as possible. Not all the time, of course, but long enough to get some peace and quiet.
Anonymous says
Can you use noise-cancelling headphones and a mic?
Anon says
This has made the biggest difference for me. The headphones weren’t cheap, but I am a lot more productive and there is a lot less ambient kid noise – obviously they don’t block out the screaming when daddy uses the wrong color spoon….
Realist says
This. Does anyone have the AirPods pro? I am hearing they are good for this.
Anon says
I got the Bose 700 last week. The noise cancelling features of the mics are what sold me on them, and according to my colleagues they work.
Anonymous says
The benefit of a sitter is that you can both work at the same time.If you have a yard, the sitter can take the kids outside while you each take a call in separate rooms. Even a part time sitter is helpful as they can feed the kids lunch while you work through lunch for example, or take a call while the kids are having lunch and your DH is also trying to finish some work.
Pogo says
My mother watches our son in the mornings. I hear everything. Including banging on the door and screaming for me at times. I would never choose to wfh FT with a nanny, babysitter or other caregiver. A nanny or sitter is not a magic bullet for this situation, at least not for very young children who don’t understand what’s going on. More outdoor time is helpful, but today my LO was up at 5:30 with an unfortunate wet bed situation, couldn’t fall back asleep (neither could I, don’t blame him) so he was pretty tired and low energy this morning, and he didn’t want to play outside even though it’s a beautiful day. Again, don’t blame the kid – he’s allowed to have a tough day sometimes, and he’s only 2! But it made for a lot of crankiness and noise right outside my door.
octagon says
The Dohm sound machines in our house are working overtime for this exact reason.
Katala says
Yep. This is one of the reasons we haven’t hired a nanny. DH is WFH normally, so a nanny was never a good choice for us because if a parent’s home, the kid will want the parent and will be loud/distracting, regardless of nanny. With the 4 of us in a smallish house, I can’t see that much benefit to bringing in another adult. Other than a break from childcare for DH, which is certainly needed, but that’s not really a FT need at this point. Kicking around how/when we’d feel OK getting a sitter for a few hours, but that would be more to give us time off (we’d probably leave the house) than for ongoing, FT childcare coverage. I’m likely WFH through the summer at least, so we need to figure out something, but I don’t know what. This is intermingled with the issues mentioned above, namely, my 5 yo will start K in the fall but we have no clue what that will look like and my 3 yo would LOVE to go back to daycare.
Anon says
We have a part time sitter for our 5 year old kindergartener, and it only works for me if I leave home. When the weather and my work projects are conducive to it (i.e. days when i primarily need to read and edit cases/briefs), I drive to a scenic spot and work from my car using a wireless hotspot. In a pinch, I can lock the guestroom door and take a zoom call on mute with headphones, but that only works if I’m a largely passive participant. If I’m in the house, with the babysitter, I can’t focus long enough to accomplish anything beyond responding to emails and other minor tasks. Most recently, I’ve been taking the minor risk of using the office elevator (while masked), to go into my empty office and work a few days a week. DH manages to work while the babysitter is there, but our kid has an extremely strong ‘mommy’ preference, so if I’m home she wants to engage with me, full stop.