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On a perpetual hunt for comfortable, waterproof, flat boots, I ordered these recently. When they came, I was pleasantly surprised. They are lightweight, comfortable, and indeed waterproof. What actually surprised me the most was that even though they look like they’re weekend-only online, I found that the black version is appropriate to wear in the office. I love how comfortable they are, and they look great with all different lengths of pants. My only pet peeve is that sometimes if I am walking quickly for a long time, the outside zipper will start to come down. I am seeing them online at various retailers very much marked down, but Amazon has them marked down plus many sizes available. They were originally $140 but on sale for various prices depending on color and size. Aureo II Ankle Boot
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
TIRED says
I am not getting any sleep. Our 14 month old is still sleeping in a nook in our bedroom but the plan is for her to share a room with her 3 year old brother (who has his own room now). In an ideal world I would have moved her out of our room a long time ago, because I am a light sleeper and an anxious parent generally so I wake up whenever she makes a noise. I read that I should wait until after the 18 month sleep regression when she is likely to be disruptive, so I’m waiting because I figure if someone has to go without sleep it should probably be me rather than our 3 year old. BUT I’M SO TIRED. To the point that I am low-grade angry and/or tearful a lot of the time. Can I move her sooner? Has anyone done it with success? Other ideas? I’m too tired to problem solve.
Anonymous says
I actually found 15-24 months a really up and down period for sleep – when teething it was awful, and when not teething, it was fine.
I think you’re okay to move now. Are you planning to use a baby monitor after the move? If the issue is you are waking in response to sounds, you need to address that regardless of the move because you’ll just get up anytime you hear noise anyway. Once they are verbal, I basically ignored anything that wasn’t full on crying or shouting for ‘mommy’/’daddy’. Kids dream too so noise doesn’t mean they are awake or need you. Can you sleep with ear plugs or in the spare room on the night that it’s your DH’s turn to get up with the kids?
Anonymous says
This. Ditch the baby monitor as long as you can hear screaming.
TIRED says
Oh yeah, I definitely don’t use a baby monitor at night so I can only hear loud crying.
Anon says
Yes! In the worst case you can move her again for a sleep regression if the sleeping arrangements stops working, but don’t be miserable in the meantime.
Anon says
Of course you can move her sooner. I’ve never heard of a recommendation to keep a kid in your room for that long. 1 year is the “official” recommendation in the US although many people do it much sooner. Many kids don’t experience any kind of sleep regression at 18 months, mine didn’t.
Anon says
Your 3yo is most likely much better at sleeping through her than you are, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that! My kids can sleep through each other’s nightmares and also through us coming in, turning in the lights, cleaning up a sick kid, etc.
Anonymous says
Yes move her now. My child did not have an 18 month sleep regression?? Is that a thing? We moved DD to her room at 4 months and DS at 4 months as well. We were waking each other up.
Anonymous says
Move the kiddo. It’ll be a bumpy transition and then it will be over.
Anonymous says
I don’t think 18 months is worse than 14 months – at least it wasn’t for us.
GCA says
Kid 1 (4.5) was such a terrible sleeper that I had no idea if there was a sleep regression of any sort. With kid 2 (1.5), the pattern has been teething = bad sleep, teething + new skills development = dreadful sleep, none of the above = great sleep. We used to all be crammed into a one-bedroom apartment, so admittedly kid 1 is used to a bit of noise, but the kids now share their own room and the big kid sleeps through nearly all of the toddler’s ruckus.
Anon says
Chronic sleep deprivation is a thing. It will affect you more than you know. Move her out.
(There’s an interesting study, I think out of Harvard, on this. One group of people slept for four hours a night for two weeks. At the end of two weeks, they had the mental processing abilities of the group who had pulled an all-nighter, but they did not see the decline in their mental acuity. They thought they were still operating relatively normally. That is just the mental part: there’s a whole host of physiological changes that happen, too.)
anon says
Yikes — that’s pretty horrifying!
Anon says
move her asap.
Anon says
Moved our 2 month old in with her 2 year old brother and haven’t looked back. Do it. I have also never heard of what you are talking about w/ the regression thing. The 3 year old will sleep through a LOT.
Anonymous says
You should have moved her out 15 months ago! What are you thinking here?!? Get her out tonight.
where to sleep says
I slept on the living room couch for months. It beat getting woken up by babies!
Anonymous says
Question re: buying new clothes, rather than used/previously loved clothes for baby. So, before my son was born last May, my husband and I discussed that we would work to only buy second hand clothes for our son. One, because we know that kids grow fast so we’d need to buy a lot of clothes and this seems more cost effective, (2) because grandparents would buy our baby clothes regardless of whether and (3) it seemed pretty easy to go to consignment sales and second hand stores before baby was born and while I was on maternity leave. However, now that I’m back working, buying new clothes via online shopping while eating lunch at work or after baby has gone to bed seems far less stressful and ultimately results in me buying less clothes. My mother in law also just went to a huge consignment sale in our area for me and bought a bunch of stuff, but the one thing we needed (more footied pjs) she was unable to find there. I just realized that for summer clothes, I can create basically a capsule wardrobe for my son from Primary and spend like $80 and didn’t have to go to the store while I’m getting exactly the right amount of clothes that I need.
I’ve tried online sites like poshmark, but the shipping costs of roughly $6 per item makes that ridiculous amount of money and all of the Facebook marketplace or Facebook buy/sell/trade groups for brands I like seem to be fiercely competitive and take a huge amount of time. Now, if a friend were to drop off a bunch of clothes at my house and I paid them like $100 that would work great. Anyone else feel that it’s just easier to buy new? But also feel guilty about not buying second hand?
Anonymous says
Do you have anyone that you will be passing them on to, or anyone you can tap for a regular batch of hand-me-downs? I generally buy new for all the reasons you mentioned- cheaper, easier, less work, although we do have a SIL that periodically sends some cousin cast-offs. I wait to get those and then buy new to fill in the gaps of what she sent. But I have two girls that are wearing the clothes, then they get passed to either daycare for extras, my other SIL for her daughter, or donated. The really raggedy stained ones get donated for textile recycling. Frankly I feel pretty good about that- for some of the clothes, at least 4 kids are wearing them, possibly more as I pass them on. And kids clothes, no matter how good of care you take of them, get stained and worn out pretty quickly.
PR Anon says
I understand this as I love secondhand shopping but the time does add up. We got a lot of hand me downs and somehow came up short with footed PJs too (i found success with old navy). I recently found a couple second hand “bulk” sites you could check out: Kidizen and Kids on 45th. Keep track of your time/spending for a couple months and stick with what works for you.
anne-on says
I agree, quite frankly I would rather buy new for needs like this – sleepwear/socks/undies/swimwear – those things get raggedy and are just hard to find. And I work full time! I don’t have the time on the weekends to spend 2-3 hours thrifting or shopping, I don’t even shop in stores for myself very often.
Plus if the things you buy are in good shape when you’re done, you can be the one to donate. Regular clothes/winter coats/sports gear tends to be easier to find on buy/sell groups.
GCA says
I rarely shop in person and rarely buy new, and this is where ThredUP comes in handy. It’s easy to buy several items and pay one shipping fee. I also search for clothing lots on eBay. I do buy socks and underwear new as they get so worn out – those are easy to get on a Target run.
Anon says
Feel guilty if you are spending money you don’t have or buying things that your son does not need. Otherwise, buy new and if you feel like it’s wasteful, turn around and sell it. Those footie PJs that you had to buy new will be scooped up in a hurry. (If you are feeling really lazy, don’t sell everything individually: post it all as a bundle for one price.)
AnotherAnon says
I love thrifting clothes for myself, but I have found that it’s not worth it for kid’s clothes for the following reasons: 1) I work. I don’t have time to shop the “off days” when the good stuff arrives (also, I agree with you that it’s easier to do a quick bulk buy of exactly what I need online during my lunch break). 2) I almost never find footie pjs, which are my #1 sought after item 3) in my area, only Goodwill has prices more competitive than Carter’s; it’s not even worth it for me to shop consignment when I can buy brand new clothes at Target for much cheaper. TL;DR I find Carter’s to be a better bang for my buck. When kiddo is older I will probably try harder to thrift his clothes. He’s 3 now.
SC says
I am a huge proponent of accepting hand-me-downs and buying second-hand clothes. Having a good source for hand-me-downs is just luck. Buying second-hand was easy for me because my area has a great biannual consignment sale for baby and kids’ clothes and gear. Twice a year, I’ve been able to go one Friday during lunch and/or one Saturday morning and spend $50-80 on clothes for the upcoming size and season. I have no interest in spending my time going around to different stores, and I didn’t find that our local consignment stores offered a huge savings over buying new (which may be why one of the two is out of business).
I have always purchased socks, shoes, and pajamas new. Even when Kiddo was small and growing quickly, the pajamas we bought new were worn out by the time we were done. I learned to be picky about swim clothes and check the elasticity in the waste.
Also, since Kiddo turned 3, the options for consignment clothing have seriously dwindled. Many kids wear the same size for a full year now, and they play hard, so there are fewer items in good shape. Now, I mostly purchase new from Old Navy and Target.
Cb says
Yeah, I definitely don’t have the patience for second-hand or consignment. I’d just make sure you buy only what you need and try and pass them along to someone who will use them. I wonder if you put it out there that you’re happy for hand-me-downs, I think some people still worry that they’d offend people by offering. Note to the universe: I would like some hand-me-downs please.
Anonymous says
I started organizing clothing swaps among friends/people in my town. I buy the basics though (I’m looking at you, target denim leggings in 5 sizes)
anon says
Also want to point out: you and your husband agreed on this plan. Why isn’t he pounding the pavement to find these secondhand clothes?
shortperson says
yes that was my thought as well. sounds like it’s his turn.
Anon says
I go to secondhand sales 2 or 3 times per year and buy items I like that are well priced 1-3 sizes up. I have bins in the closet that I sort into by size when I get home. When kid reaches that size or the weather changes, I see what is there and plug any holes with online purchases. A similar compromise might work for you.
Anonymous says
Consignment sales and secondhand stores are a crock. As a buyer, you will rarely find good stuff for less than you would pay new. As a seller, the very little money you get back just isn’t worth the time and effort. I found it more efficient and no more expensive just to buy new clothes on sale and then donate them.
anne-on says
Also – as kids get bigger (and harder on their clothes) I find it easier to buy expensive brands (Hanna, Boden, etc.) on super sale (which I know and watch for) instead of waiting for them to appear on thred up/poshmark/etc. because I can usually get them new on sale for the same price as used! Plus, these brands ALSO hold their value incredibly well so if I want to resell them I can.
Anonymous says
True, but price is not the only reason to buy secondhand. Producing new clothes has a big environmental impact, which is one of the main reasons I’m happy to take secondhand clothes or buy used when it’s practical.
In practice, I mostly buy secondhand for things like “church clothes” and nice shoes that don’t get beat up the way play clothes do, and I can still donate them when we’re done (I’ve never consigned kids clothes, and agree it’s not worth the effort). The price difference is more pronounced — eg, I pay $8 each for fancy dresses that would have been $40+ new. If I’m already at the consignment shop, I’ll grab a couple more things if there are gaps in my kids’ wardrobes, but I rarely make shopping trips specifically to get play clothes. My mom picks up secondhand clothes for my kids sometimes at garage sales, which I appreciate, but am not motivated to seek out, myself.
Jessamyn says
This is basically my approach. A couple recent visits to the kids’ consignment store were to buy (1) holiday dresses and (2) ski gear. These are big-ticket items that are worth going to my way to secure a 75% discount of the new-item price. But when it comes to a $5 pair of leggings on Amazon, I’m not going to bother to go to Goodwill where pants are basically the same price for poorer quality.
anon says
I would say 80-90% of my kids’ wardrobes are purchased new. I don’t feel much guilt about that. My daughter gets hand-me-downs from a close family friend, but my son is one of the oldest kids in our circle, and therefore, has never had a steady source of hand-me-downs. The only decent kids’ consignment shop in my town is closing at the end of the month. The prices there were never bargains anyway, so I used it mostly for church clothes and other items that don’t get used as much. I am completely overwhelmed by those community consignment sales and stopped going years ago.
What makes me feel somewhat better is that I make an effort to take good care of the kids’ clothes. (Yeah, I’m finicky about laundry and stain removal.) I pass a lot of stuff down to my nieces and nephews, and it’s super fun to see those clothes living on. I sell a few select items on Facebook — like snow boots and winter coats — and donate quite a bit.
More importantly, I only buy what the kids actually need. They don’t have minimalist wardrobes by any stretch, but our drawers and closets aren’t stuffed full, either. That would feel wasteful to me, no matter where the clothes came from. As they get older, they can wear their clothes longer and I buy a lot less.
IHeartBacon says
The secondhand stuff you buy was once bought new. So you buying something new and then putting it out into the world for someone else to buy secondhand is no different. Footie PJs are so hard to find because they’re so highly coveted. If you buy them and then donate/sell them (to a store or a person), it will be a great score to the person who gets them. All around win-win.
Jessamyn says
I mean, buying new is different from buying secondhand. They’re different markets — to the extent you create demand in the secondary market (by buying clothes secondhand), rather than the brand-new market, there is less consumerism in the brand-new market. Plus, clothes on the secondhand market that don’t get purchased end up as trash. I don’t think it’s very feasible to just buy new and assume that “someone else” will be the one to buy the clothes secondhand.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m all for people buying second-hand, but someone has to buy them new first, right? I figure it can be me, someone with relatively more money than most and less time than a lot to sort through a bunch of facebook posts or consignment stores. We buy new for our older one, which then gets handed down to the younger one, and then donated or sold for some bigger items (pack n play, merlin sleepsack).
I would also rather stick with fewer items from brands that I know will fit my kid and get a year + of use vs. getting a bunch of items that may or may not fit and only be worn for a few times.
Anon says
We got a lot of hand me downs as babies which was very nice, but I definitely don’t go out and seek secondhand goods & feel zero guilt about. I just don’t have the time or energy. Target pants are great and under $10, it is just really hard to beat that in a secondhand store that makes the energy even close to worth it.
I will also add, as your kid gets older, finding good secondhand stuff will only get harder because the kids start to really wear out a lot of their clothes (stains, holes, you name it). Like, my 4-5 year old son’s pants are not getting passed down to anyone b/c he really wears the heck out of them. Similar for actual quality shoes that have the appropriate cushioning, flexibility etc. For some of the stuff you find at second hand places or in hand me downs, it might look cute but you have to wonder why it didn’t get more run down. Example, for my daughter we got all these cute toddler size mary jane shoes handed down, that when she was a baby I was excited for her to grow into. Fast forward to when she was actually big enough to wear them, she NEVER did, they were so impractical for a learning walker. Ah! That is why they made it to hand me down stage. They’re probably on like their 4th hand me down kid and barely worn. (Not saying this will be the case for ALL second hand kid’s stuff, but it’s a factor for sure).
Jessamyn says
Agreed on it getting harder as they get older. One, they’re not growing out of things as fast, so they wear them for longer and wear them out. Two, they wear them harder so they’re more likely to get ripped or stained before they outgrow them. I went to a huge consignment sale a few weeks ago, where I used to get my kids’ entire spring wardrobe when they were in toddler sizes, and it was very slim pickings for the school-age sizes.
Anonymous says
Oh man, I used to do almost 100 percent second hand but just TRY finding good condition size 5 play clothes for boys. Particularly if you object to camo print.
CPA Lady says
I have dressed my kid mostly in hand me downs or second hand stuff her whole life. I have accomplished this the following ways:
– thred up/poshmark
– facebook resale groups for specific brands (hanna andersson mostly)
– fancy boutique consignment sales (but I’m in the south and this is a Whole Big Thing here)
And, most importantly:
– going on facebook and straight up offering to take hand me downs
This one was shameless but key. I get about 80% of her daycare/play/normal clothes from one person who has two daughters who are a few years older than my daughter. She’s so excited to have someone to dump the clothes off onto. I have also requested various short-lived baby items this way and gotten them for free, and then announced on facebook when I was done with them and given them to the next person.
FWIW, and there is no way you would know this without ever having had kids, but there are certain ages where finding used kids clothes that are still even borderline decent looking will be hard because kids that age are so hard on their clothes. When my daughter was 2, her clothes were beyond trashed. She looked like a dirty peasant child straight out of some kind of Dickensian setting every single day at the end of daycare that year. I don’t think we passed on very many of her things that year because they were so ratty looking.
Jessamyn says
I’m a huge believer in buying secondhand, but I guiltlessly buy new if I need something on short notice and it’s something the kids will use every day. I get cheap cotton stuff on Amazon. I really try to focus on getting things secondhand when I know they’ll only wear them once or a few times — special theme-day shirts for school, holiday-themed tshirts, holiday dresses, etc.
Anon says
One of the lessons of parenthood is realizing the ideals and beliefs you once held are not necessarily sustainable, sensible, or true…as the old adage says, “I was a great parent before I had kids.” I hear you on hating fast fashion and the rampant consumerism that goes with having kids these days, but it seems you are taking a measured, reasoned approach and your thinking is evolving. I do a mix with my kids – I visit the secondhand store once a season or so, but also buy things from Target, Carter’s and Hanna to fill the gaps (and because there are a lot of cute things out there and sometimes I just want something!)
Anonymous says
Another source not mentioned here is local Facebook groups for parenting or local buy nothing groups. Our neighborhoods parenting Facebook group regularly has posters who will sell a “lot” of clothes for one age for not much money at all.
Anonymous says
That’s what I’m planning to do – post big lots on FB Marketplace for like $5 so that they’ll definitely get used by someone. I tried shopping at Once Upon a Child and they weirdly had no footie pajamas. We wear our cousins’ hand me downs but shopping used is for the birds.
Anonymous says
look y’all just arent that special. It’s fine. Like the rest of us you can just buy clothes. You don’t need permission.
ElisaR says
aren’t you sweet.
Anonymous says
Your “special” comment doesn’t even make sense. Nobody is claiming to be special?? What a weird thing to say.
Anonymous says
I think Anon at 1:04 is accusing OP of engaging in a type of performative wokeness. Of being one of those upper-middle-class people who won’t let their kids have new clothes or any toys besides a stick and a cardboard box because they want to show off how virtuous they are.
Anonymouse says
I found the best luck at the “pop up” consignment sales – better prices, huge selection. Often they have toys and gear too. Take a 1/2 day from work or go on the closing weekend for 50% off. This has actually gotten easier as kiddo now is in the same size for more than one season so I can more safely buy ahead. I only go to the regular consignment stores when they are having the end of season clearance now that I can stock up for next year.
I keep a spreadsheet with general have/need – like I need a coat for next year, and some summer pajamas, but have plenty of shirts and tshirts.
Also, alert family that you are fine with used items and Carters or Target super sales. Then at their discretion they can look for gifts at whichever works better for them.
Last – definitely ask on FB. Even just a generic – looking for size X for this summer, does anybody have some outgrown items as well as your local parents group and/or buy nothing group.
anon says
Are there any ways to make a sleep transition easier? We are trying to get a six-month-old out of the Magic Merlin suit and into a sleep sack as he is on the brink of rolling in the suit, which is the guideline for transitioning. We’ve tried twice for a total of six nights and it has been a disaster every time (over an hour of screaming, up every two hours, etc.) Help? I’d say he just isn’t ready, but he clearly is physically ready, if not emotionally. Do we muscle through? I’ve just returned to biglaw, so the timing on this is not great.
Anonymous says
I would go to the Halo sleep sac swaddle first – you can use it as a swaddle at first, then swaddle with one arm out, then two arms out. Then just use it as a sleep sac or another sleep sac.
2/3 kids moved out of the Halo via one arm out at a time method. Last kid did not like the one arm thing and preferred both arms swaddle more loosely as a transition, he could get his arms out the top when he really wanted to but they otherwise stayed cozy against his body.
anon says
But I thought you can’t safely swaddle arms after baby is rolling? He has been rolling for months outside of the merlin, which is why we got him out of a swaddle in the first place.
Anonymous says
Merlin is basically a zip up swaddle, no? Mine all liked to be swaddled until 8-9 months, but YMMV of course. I was fine with it once I knew they could get themselves comfortable on their bellies (get one or both arms out). Swaddling is an issue because of SIDS risk if they can’t get their heads up to breathe when they are on their belly. SIDS risk drops off a lot after 6 months of age. Mine were EBF, non-smoking house and they were in our room right next to the bed for the first year so overall SIDS risk was quite low. I wouldn’t be comfortable with a swaddled baby in a separate room.
ElisaR says
merlin is not a swaddle…. it’s a magical sleep suit that looks hilarious on babies. (i know that explains everything, right?)
anon. says
Honestly? If you are not opposed to it, I’d just pull the Merlin, do cry it out for two nights, and you’ll likely have a safely sleeping baby without any of the suit requirements afterwards. How long have you let him cry? (Caveat: We are big proponents of CIO in our family and I have no problems with it, do not mean to be rude about it here!)
Anonymous says
This. We used the Merlin with our first and it was awesome… until it wasn’t and she somehow overcame the suit and stood up in it in her crib. Transitioning required a couple nights of CIO. It kinda sucked, but it was over quickly.
Anonymous says
Yeah…we may have to just do this. We’ve never CIO’d before, not out of objection but just because he’s been a great sleeper until now. Ah well. It had to catch up to us sometime.
Anonymous says
Are you putting the baby down awake or asleep? I rocked or fed my baby to sleep (gasp) and just laid him in his crib. There was a week or so of bad sleep until he started rolling over and sleeping through the night.
anon says
Good point. I’m in the habit of putting him down awake, but I could go back to feeding to sleep like we did when he was tiny.
Anonymous says
Sometimes we put our hands on his chest until he drifts off. I guess that is a better habit to be in.
Anon says
We pulled the Merlin and went to the Zipadee Zip (which is safe for rolling and we were in until about 12 months), because, like you, our kiddo wasn’t ready to just go PJs or sleep sack.
anon says
Oh, thanks! I didn’t know about that.
ALC says
Question about crying it out (and feel free to tell me to buy a book! Recommendations welcomed). Our 7 month old routinely wakes up between 3-4 am to take a bottle and then goes back to sleep. We’d love to stop this, since it sounds like he should be able to sleep 10-11 hours straight through. Any tips? Last night, he cried for about 40 minutes before we finally went in and gave him a bottle, after which he happily went back to sleep. I realize this was bad — what should we do instead? Thank you!!
Anonymous says
“since it sounds like he should be able to sleep 10-11 hours straight through” – where did you get this? It’s common for a baby to still eat once overnight for the first year.
What time does baby go to bed? Can you do a dream feed right before you go to bed if you go to bed at like 11pm-midnight? That might head off the middle of the night feed. If not, alternating getting up with your DH means that you only have to get up once a night 3-4 times a week which isn’t too bad especially if he’s going straight back to sleep. You may find more waking during a growth spurt and other nights when he sleeps straight through.
Anon says
I followed the night weaning tips in the sleep easy solution book and it was great.
NYCer says
How much is he drinking at 3am? If it is a substantial amount, you might try gradually cutting down the number of ounces over a week or so. Eventually get down to nothing and then switch to water if he wakes up still. Hopefully by then he will be used to not getting a big bottle and will sleep through.
Also, make sure that he making up those ounces during the day, so that he isn’t hungry at night.
anon says
You might try feeding him his normal bedtime amount about a half hour before bed, then giving a little “top off” of a few ounces right before. Otherwise I’d just let him cry it out until he figures out you aren’t coming in. Honestly, if he can make it 9 hours, he can make it 10-11. :)
Knope says
Night weaning is different than sleep training. I think it’s likely that he’s legitimately hungry. I’d start with 1) increasing intake right before bed and 2) going in to comfort him without feeding (or gradually reducing the amount you feed).
Katy says
My kiddo just couldn’t make it more than 5-6 hours until he finished a growth spurt at about 8 months. it involved way to many tears (both of us). we had already done cry it out for initial bedtime / if he woke between scheduled feedings. I fed at 10 pm until he was about 10 months (nursing). At ~8.5 months it was easy transition the 4:00~4:30 AM feed to 5:30 – 6:00 ish. Around 10 months he starting sleeping from ~8 pm to 6:30 AM. Try pushing it back gradually and if that doesn’t work give it a couple weeks and try again….
Also I assume that this was partly related to uptick in food consumed (e.g. higher calorie foods like meats etc. vs. pureed carrots).
ALC says
Thanks all, this advice makes sense. Will try feeding more and waiting for him to get a little bigger/older before night weaning.
Pogo says
Weissbluth is my book rec and what we followed. He even says some babies need to eat 1-2x a night up to 9mos, so check w your ped if they ok night weaning. Ours had this exact same schedule at 7mos and naturally dropped the feed by 8mos and went to sleeping 12h straight. We had to work hard to get him there (was up every freaking hour from 4-5 mos).
blueridge29 says
+1 for the Weissbluth book. Great to have as a reference.
anon says
Thanks for the book rec for potentially #2 – that is why I found sleepeasy hard because of the insistence on night weaning. We had the same 4 / 5 months disaster as you!
MNF says
We sort of did cry it out with our baby, but starting from a very early age, so no experience with starting at 12 months. Our baby has slept through the night without a feeding since ~4 months. I really like the book The New Basics, he advises no night feedings and the CIO is pretty straight forward.
Anon says
I’d do CIO and commit to the process for two weeks. It feels awful at the time but it has been well-researched and can really dramatically change life for everyone in your family in a positive way. Talk to your ped first about your concerns. The Good Sleeper is another great reference.
Another Sleep Question says
Has anyone actually had success getting a bad sleeper to improve without cry it out? My 12 month old has never been a good sleeper, and lately she’s been going through periods where she wakes every couple hours all night long, and it often takes an hour plus to resettle her. We can’t take the sleep deprivation anymore. We tried cry it out recently for a few nights and she just sat there and fussed for hours. She wouldn’t even lay down. So we eventually gave up and rocked her to sleep. (We were going in a checking periodically so maybe that was our problem?)
She was also recently put on iron supplements after her 12 mo wellcheck. The sleep issues predate this, but I’m also wondering if they’re bothering her stomach and that’s messing with her sleep? Anyone have any experience with that? She also had a stomach virus around the same time as starting the iron (DH and I got it too) so it’s hard to tell whether her liquidy diapers are from the iron or lingering virus symptoms?
Anonymous says
Can you give her the iron in the morning? We used Pantley’s book the No Cry Sleep Solution with success – there’s a toddler version now too as well.
Maybe also try a fat and protein heavy snack right before bed like a spoonful of peanut butter or almond butter. A few posters have found that to be helpful I think.
Sleep OP says
Unfortunately the ped wants us to give the iron twice a day. It needs to be with food to help the potential stomach issues, so on daycare days that means breakfast and dinner. (And sometimes she doesn’t eat enough breakfast and we end up skipping it, sigh.) And the dosage is high enough that I don’t think we can give it all at breakfast.
I checked Pantley’s No Cry book out from the library awhile ago and it didn’t seem like it would work for her issues. But maybe I’ll give it another look.
Anonymous says
Can you give at breakfast and do a snack and iron at pick up from daycare? Like as soon as you get in the car? Maybe an apple sauce pouch as vitamin C helps with absorption, that might buy you a bit more time before bed.
anon says
Actually, low iron is associated with sleep problems, so the supplement may help. (This is for adults, anyway, I don’t know if same holds for babies). And if it’s causing digestive issues, it would be constipation, not the reverse.
Anonymous says
Perhaps bananas would help with the runny diapers?
Cb says
Nope, I’m sorry. I had a terrible sleeper and finally stuck with CIO after multiple attempts at 18 months. It was horrific but he now sleeps 6:45 to 6:15 and my life is dramatically improved.
Anon says
Nope. I have a terrible sleeper. We’ve tried CIO multiple times (she’s now 2.5) and it just doesn’t work for her. She also vomits when she cries a lot, so I have limited patience for the method because I don’t like to clean my carpets in the middle of the night. So we are surviving with a mixture of co-sleeping or sitting in her room (or rocking her depending on what she wants) in order to get her to sleep depending on how awake she is, how tired we are, and what time it is. Even on nights where she starts in her bed, she inevitably wakes up between 3-5 am and ends up in ours because we’re not getting out of bed for an hour to keep her from cry-vomiting before she goes back to sleep. We’ve asked the ped about it and since we’ve tried every suggestion he’s given us and nothing has worked, we’re just resigned to the fact that our kid’s thing is that she doesn’t sleep – some kids have other delays, some kids don’t eat, etc. – our hill to climb is sleep.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
We had good luck with the Sleep Lady Shuffle method for both kids.
Anon says
No suggestions, but my 13-month is the same. He’s up several times a night (we night weaned two months ago), and at least 2-3 nights/week he is up from 1-3am (fussing, crying, screaming, or tossing/turning). It’s awful and I’m waiting for him to start sleeping better.
cbackson says
Just an update on my post last week about my partner traveling shortly after my child is born – after I read everyone’s comments, I went to talk to him about it this weekend. When he started giving me a funny look, I realized I should probably stop with my spiel and let him say something – which is when he told me that he’d moved the trip as soon as he realized how close it was to my due date, although it required a seriously unpleasant set of exchanges and a lot of bargaining with his former wife (in the form of giving up holiday time with my stepkids next Christmas). He’s completely sure he told me this, I totally think he didn’t, but either way, crisis averted (and a lesson as to why we need to actually get around to setting up a family calendar with all our trips on it).
To those who asked about my parents – their trip is one of those super-expensive river cruises and they’ve saved up for years to take it; given the timing they would not be able to get back much of the fare and it would be a very material amount of money for them, so I’d encouraged them to take it even though they were feeling pretty sad about being away. However, because of coronavirus they’ve now been offered the opportunity to reschedule it for another time without penalty, which they’re going to take (and they booked flights through the cruise company, so they’re literally not out of pocket at all). So in the end, everyone will be around – partner, stepkids (they’re local, FWIW), and my parents, and by the time I give birth I will hopefully have gotten better about admitting that I might need people to help me instead of telling myself I can tough out anything (even when it’s silly to do so).
SC says
I’m so glad your husband already worked it out! And that your parents will be around (if you want them to be).
I also think it seriously stinks that your partner’s ex is making him give up time with his son at Christmas in exchange for rescheduling the trip, but I know that’s not in your control.
cbackson says
Yeah, that is crappy. Their relationship is difficult and unfortunately they’re in a very tit for tat place right now. In fairness to her, he is definitely not his best self when dealing with her either, but he does try to accommodate this kind of request and she generally doesn’t (which sucks, because she has primary physical custody so his time with them is already more limited than hers). I would say that hopefully it’ll get better with time, but it’s been a good while at this point and the level of conflict seems to be variable rather than linear (so things weren’t this bad this time last year, for whatever reason). We’ll see.
Anonymous says
So glad it has worked out for you. And great that he reworked the trip on his own. That sends a strong message of him being in tune with and prioritizing your relationship and the relationship with the new baby.
“I will hopefully have gotten better about admitting that I might need people to help me instead of telling myself I can tough out anything”
You deserve to thrive. Just because you could survive something on your own if you had to, doesn’t mean it isn’t much better if you ask for help and thrive instead of merely survive.
cbackson says
Thank you so, so much for your last two sentences. They’re something I really needed to hear today.
Anon says
That’s wonderful! Thanks for the happy update.
Anonymous says
I’m so glad this all worked out! I was interested to see all the different takes on your question, but it’s much better just not to have to worry about going it “alone” (or with hired / non-family help) with a newborn.
AnotherAnon says
Advice for moving 3 y/o kiddo out of nursery (read: tiny room) to “big boy” (read: standard size) room? He’s still sleeping in a crib, but is asking to move to a big boy bed. Easiest way to do this would be to move him into the larger bedroom. I’m not opposed to putting a full size bed in his nursery, but it would be tight. My ulterior motive is I want the nursery for the next baby (who is very much theoretical at this point). Is it asking for sleep disruptions to move him to a different room? What am I not considering that I should be?
Anonymous says
Just tell him “congrats your big boy bed is here in your big boy room” and do it
Spirograph says
I agree with this. Big-kid bed and new room were both a non-thing for each of my kids. I think we often overcomplicate / overthink things. Kids are way more go-with-the-flow than we give them credit for (assuming your child hasn’t exhibited any previous Problems with Change).
IHeartBacon says
+Infinity
lawsuited says
I think the request for a big boy bed gives you the perfect opportunity to move him to a big boy room (where the big boy bed is!). I was hesitant to move our oldest from a crib to a bed but it went unbelievably smoothly. Because he wanted the big boy bed, he happily accepted our rule that he had to stay in his bed after lights out until his clock came on or he’d have to go back in his crib. We used a pool noodle as a bumper for a month or two.
Butter says
We did this a few months ago and I was shocked that it was a non-thing. He went from sleeping in a crib in a tiny room to sleeping in a twin bed in a medium sized room with absolutely no issues. I had visions of him running around the room or being more active in general, but in the morning he just sat up and called for us instead. Took him at least a month to get to the point where he’d even come to our room to see if we were up yet.
Extra anon for this says
Hi all-
Just read all of the responses to my COVID-19 preparation question yesterday, apologies for starting that convo and then bailing, as you can imagine it has been pretty busy at work!
The CDC released guidance yesterday centered on preparing your home for coronavirus. The standard pandemic recommendation to have extra food and supplies on hand has been removed. I imagine that is to mitigate the stockpile that seems to be already occurring (I went into a Costco out of curiosity, it was almost empty, and I’m in a state that does not have any confirmed cases).
That being said, a lot of people were asking for specific recommendations on WHAT to buy. I don’t think we will lose power or water or anything like that, but I would recommend thinking through what you would want on hand if you decided it was best not to go to the store for two weeks. We’re in a HCOL area, so we don’t have a lot of room either, so in addition to our standard emergency food (I am a professional, after all) we got extra:
-Laundry Detergent
-Diapers/wipes
-Dishwasher detergent
-Condiments (god help us if we can’t get to the store for ketchup!)
-Horizon Organic Boxed Milk (the kind that are like juice boxes? Not because I think we will lose power, but because it is shelf-stable and refrigerated milk does go bad)
-A bit of extra pasta and sauce
-refrigerated canned crescent rolls and biscuits
-Stocked up on any frozen items we were almost out of (chicken nuggets, meatballs, microwave veggies, etc.)
-Cereal bars, cereal, crackers, peanut butter
-Tylenol, Advil, Dayquil, Nyquil, Mucinex, Kleenex
-Paper towels and toilet paper
-Lysol wipes in case someone in the house gets sick (back when you could find them!)
The cabinets, coat closet, and bathroom cabinets are now stuffed to the brim, but it is all stuff we will use anyway.
I’ll caveat the power and water thing with the recommendation to think about the hazards in your area. If you are somewhere prone to frequent Boil Water Advisories (looking at you, Houston and New Orleans) or power outages from storms (looking at you, Southeast!), it may be a good idea to take those into consideration. If the virus were to spread in your community, restoration of services lost for non-COVID reasons could be slower than usual. I also recognize buying all of the stuff I listed above at once is not cheap and that this is not accessible to everyone, but I wanted to share what I have personally done. I promise not to spam the board with COVID-19, I know most of us come here to get away from stress not to cause it, but I did want to follow-up from yesterday.
ElisaR says
thanks – you sparked me to hit the store last night after work and i think it was a responsible thing to do!
anne-on says
To add to this (very good!) list, I also stocked up on 3 weeks worth of pet food, cat litter, and their medications (just the standard flea and tick stuff) as well as toilet paper, tissues, hand and bar soap, and paper towels. I am NOT trying to hit every store in the area looking for TP in an emergency.
Extra anon for this says
Hand soap seems to be flying off the shelves (I am FASCINATED by the extent to which things are selling out! It has certainly surpassed our planning assumptions!), so that’s definitely a good call! A lot of the stores only have Method brand left, which is funny because I’m not sure if that’s due to the price or people don’t want to trust “natural” products right now.
Some of the people I have talked to in the store that are stocking up told me they are sending the items to family members in other countries, which I certainly don’t blame them for.
mascot says
We live in a hurricane prone area so we are ready to go for power outages (lanterns, batteries/chargers, grills and fire pit for cooking). We don’t generally buy water, usually we fill a couple of large containers and the bathtubs when things start to get dicey. We are on muni water/sewer that is pretty reliable. I’m topping off things like cleaning supplies, paper goods, dog food to keep us around 2-3 weeks supplies on hand. I’m going to do a quick inventory of food tonight and maybe some batch cooking this weekend. I’ve got condiments galore.
Cabin fever could be real in the event of quarantine. Plus, we can only get a 30day supply of my kid’s ADHD meds so there’s not much prepping we can do there.
SC says
Thanks. I’ve learned from these posts that I already live like a prepper.
So Anon says
The conversation also got me thinking yesterday. I work from home 2x per week and go into the office the other three days. I count on my days in office to do any printing and/or signing that is essential for my role. I’m thinking now is the time to go ahead and get a portable printer/scanner. Anyone have any recommendations?
anne-on says
I really like my Brother one. It’s not a fancy color printer but its a total workhorse and connects seamlessly with all manner of work/personal devices.
Katy says
I now sign things using IAnnotate program. Create a pdf of the doc and then sign it on the ipad and email it out. Won’t work if people don’t accept scanned signatures – but for my work it is almost always acceptable. I even do this when I am in the office now to save the printing / rescanning.
Even if you can’t normally execute electronically – surely they would have to make an exception if quarantines are in place – you are scanning what you are signing anyways.
Cate says
Thanks! Super helpful! Keep sharing the knowledge – I know I for one would appreciate it! this is my favorite source for news like this as well as parenting!
Anonanonanon says
I have not figured out how to style non-heeled booties for the office. I feel like I look like a cartoon Frankenstein’s monster stomping around in my black ankle boots, and should have my arms straight out and groan while I walk. Weird personal hang up, I know, but it exists. They don’t seem to go with skirts and a lot of my work pants are ankle-length but not cuffed like I would jeans, so they hit in exactly the wrong place. My flat black booties are Sorels and don’t have a zipper, so maybe that’s why.
lsw says
Sounds like you just need dressier booties! I have…a lot of pairs of flat booties and I think they all look great.
Anonanonanon says
That’s probably a lot of it. I am also exceptionally pear-shaped, so anything that crops the length of my leg (such as a bootie) is difficult to make flattering on me.
anne-on says
Have you tried booties that have a dip in the front, like these? I find that helps a lot (I have VERY muscular calves and feel your pain!)
https://www.zappos.com/p/dolce-vita-trist-anthracite-suede/product/9344830/color/81034
Katy says
I just got into this. two pairs with a deeper v in front. One with pump like heels one with very low heels. I am also very pear shaped so I know what you mean. I struggle with flat boots. I also find a bit bigger gap counterintuitively helps vs. boot and pant almost meeting.
Anonanonanon says
You know, I haven’t, but the only time I’ve seen booties in my professional setting and have thought “oh wow, those look so cute on her!” were booties with a V in the front like that. Maybe I should investigate.
ElisaR says
this analogy made me lol….. i get it! i have no suggestions. I only wear my flat booties with full length pants and they are hard to come by.
Anonanonanon says
I feel like they look fine with skinny jeans when I roll up or cuff the ankle, but something about wearing them with business pants just doesn’t work on me.
ElisaR says
i agree, it’s not my favorite look for sure. but if i’m not expecting to see people that day I go for it due to comfort reasons. winter foot gear fashion is tough.
Anon says
the other week there was a big discussion on diaper pails. We have an Ubbi which has rusted and smells and despite it being almost 2 years old, they issued a free replacement. I did have to pay for shipping, but they had excellent customer service
Anon says
Has anyone had fifth disease as an adult? My 2 yo had it (we’re pretty sure, since she had the telltale rash) last week. It was mild for her – one day of moderate fever and fussiness, then the rash started but that hasn’t been bothering her. I think I have it now and feel pretty miserable – sore throat, lots of joint pain, and a low grade fever. Just wondering anecdotally if I might feel better in a day or two or if I can expect to be knocked out for a week. I caught croup from her a couple months ago too, and that was horrible…the worst I’ve felt since swine flu in ’09. I guess this is my punishment for not being a daycare kid myself and not being exposed to all these germs that are so common in the under 5 set :(
Anonz says
Yes – I got it in my early 20’s and was knocked out for a solid week, unfortunately. Hope you feel better soon!