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I really love this pretty dress from ModCloth. I especially like the three-quarter sleeves, full skirt with pockets (!), and natural-waist belt. My favorite part, though, is the unique and very flattering neckline. I love how it’s wide and highlights the collarbone but still is high enough to be modest. I also appreciate the length, which is about knee or right above the knee, so you can still wear a flat shoe. This dress is $89 and available in sizes XXS–4X. Sartorial Secret Fit-and-Flare Dress Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Lana Del Raygun says
THIS IS SO PRETTY I LOVE IT
IHeartBacon says
I love it too! And the blue version is only $36!!
Anonymous says
There’s another 40% off, so the blue is $21 :)
Pogo says
I forgot how much I love modcloth.
Bye bye, pacis! says
Using the long, holiday weekend to take away my 3.5 year old’s pacis (no judgment, please, as her dentist is fine with nighttime paci use until 4 and just advised that we take them away). Looking for support that this really won’t be that bad along with any tips you might have. So far, she has been a pretty great sleeper, and I’m so scared this will ruin the awesome routine we’ve come to know and rely on. She’ll get back to normal in a few weeks or less, right?! Thanks, folks!
Anon says
3.5 is old enough that I think it’s better to explain than to just suddenly take it away with no explanation. A lot of people I know have done the “paci fairy” (even with kids as young as 2).
OP says
Yes! She knows it is coming and why. During the day she gets it, but when the time comes, I’m sure there will be tears.
anon says
i would def do the paci fairy. have her help you gather up all the pacifiers and put them in a bag and then have the paci fairy bring a gift – maybe a stuffed animal or lovie or something else she can sleep with?
Anonymous says
My son was about your daughter’s age when we took away the binkies. We didn’t do the “binkie fairy;” we told my son the hospital needed his binkies for the new babies being born and he was such a big boy, couldn’t he give his binkies to the little babies? We got a box and went around and put all the binkies in the house in the box, and then we taped up the box and I “took it to the hospital.”
It was unbelievably drama free for us. I had built it up in my mind that it was going to be this awful terrible thing, and when the day came he had heard so much about getting rid of the binkies from us and from his preschool teachers that he was more or less fine with it. He woke up a couple of times that night but then after that slept like a log. He never asked for his binkies back. The funny thing is that we moved last year (my son was 12 at the time) and we found binkies behind every piece of major furniture we moved. He said “I really must have loved these things” and I was like, son, you have no idea. I thought he’d go to college with a binkie in his mouth, at one point.
Just as an FYI – I don’t know if all orthodontists do this, but ours did. When my son went in for his first ortho consult at age 9 I got lectured about how we had let him have the binky too long and now he was going to need X and Y to get his teeth straight. I was like, sure lady, let me jump in my time machine and go back to 2006 and change the past. While I’m back there I’ll make sure to buy some Apple stock since I neglected to do that previously. It was annoying.
Anonymous says
I haven’t done it so am not helpful but definitely don’t feel bad about a pacifier at 3.5! I sucked my thumb until I was in late elementary school (gave it up for sleepovers!). It’ll be fine and she will be sleeping great in no time.
Maybe give her something else to soothe so she doesn’t just switch to her thumb.
Pogo says
We went cold turkey recently around 22mos. Explained that there is no more paci and gave him a new lovey. He was definitely upset and cried a bit the first night, but overall sleep was unchanged and we did not have a regression.
Caveat: he only used it for night time sleep, and is also an intermittent thumb-sucker. He switched to thumb for falling asleep when we took the paci away, so who knows what the future brings.
Em says
No advice, but my son is 3 years and 4 months and still loves his pacifiers so no judgment here. Our dentist didn’t have any concerns with us letting him keep them until after we take an international trip with him this winter so that is our plan.
No more mookies says
We did it around 2 and she knew it was coming.
We told her she could buy a toy with them, so gathered up all her pacifiers (mookies) and put them in a small box and went to the fancy toy store. She was really good with it, so we thought yay! Then when bedtime came around there were a lot of tears and she insisted on sleeping with her new toy that night.
After that it did become a lot harder to get her to go to sleep (before we would read to her, give her a kiss, and put her in her crib and she’d be out within 5-10 minutes), but we eventually got used to it. It still takes her forever to fall asleep at night, even at 4.5, but usually when she finally falls asleep she’s out for the night.
BabyBoom says
Both my kids gave up the paci very easily! We were prepared for many sleepless nights, and it just didn’t happen. My son, who I though would be the hardest, was fine. And I did this in the worst way possible – our cleaner put the pacis in a weird place, so one night we just couldn’t find them. So we just went with it and told him no more. He cried for a bit and that was it. Next night he asked once, and after being told no he moved on! I was really pleasantly surprised.
We did have night wakings for a few weeks with our daughter. I think she used the paci to soothe herself back to sleep. So for a few weeks she would wake up about once a night and start crying. Each time we quickly got her back to sleep.
For both kids, the anticipation and worry about the process was actually far worse than the actual process!
Anonymous says
We started with letting her fall asleep with it and then removed it before we went to bed. That way she got used to sleeping without it through various overnight wakeups. Then when we were ready to get rid of it for falling asleep, we used a mediation app for kids and talked through self soothing techiques. It was more like 5.5 yrs when we did this though as dentist said as long as usage is nightime only, and quits before permanent teeth come in, then damage is likely minimal.
I left it so long because I was thumbsucker and I was petrified of my kids doing that as it is much harder to break than a paci and can be even more damaging (jaw misalignment if favor one side). I was afraid if we took away the paci before they were ready, they would turn into thumb or fingersuckers.
Anon says
Help. I have a just turned six-year-old who when he hurts his little brother–accidentally or purpose–is suddenly expressing a desire to hurt himself in a similar way. This morning he accidentally gave the two-year-old a cut on his face with his foot and then attempted (sort of) to replicate the injury on himself. It feels like a variation on what he used to do which was to say he was hurt whenever he hurt the little one.
I know he feels bad for having hurt his brother but I don’t know what words to use to explain why his reaction isn’t ok or how to channel it in a different way. Often I am attending to the little one at the moment and get flustered.
Any ideas or resources?
Anonymous says
Following. My three year old cries and says he hurts, too whenever he hurts someone, including/especially his brother.
Clementine says
Good news, this is demonstrating empathy and understanding that our actions can impact others and it’s not okay. Yay for not raising a sociopath!!
I like to talk about ‘choices’. Did you make a safe choice or a not safe choice? You made a not safe choice to throw a car at your brother and it hurt him. What is a different choice you could have made? What choice will you make next time. Tone is very important. I usually go with quiet and concerned. They need to know it’s serious but also you don’t want to provoke a fear response.
You can’t take back your actions, but you can make a choice to apologize and to make a safe choice next time. Now, the consequence for your action is X (usually the toy goes into time out) because actions have consequences. But you deserve to keep your body safe just like your brother deserves to keep his body safe.
OP says
Thank you for this. I really like your last line: “you deserve to keep your body safe just like your brother deserves to keep his body safe.” Keeping this one close to use when this happens again.
I may repost on Monday to see if I get more traction after the holiday. I do think he is an empathetic kid, which I love and want to cultivate.
Redux says
This is such helpful language, thank you!
Patty Mayonnaise says
Anyone have experience with a lip and/or tongue tie contributing to gas/discomfort? My 4 week old is gaining weight and nursing well (no nipple issues) but seems to have really painful gas. My ped indicated that she had a bit of a lip tie and I’m wondering if this could be contributing. I’m deciding what to do next – I know releasing lip/tongue ties is a hot topic these days and I’m hesitant to open a can of worms if she’s gaining well. But I don’t want to ignore an issue that may cause problems down the road. Anyone have experience with this?
lsw says
To answer your first question, no, but we did have my son’s tongue tie clipped to ease pain with nursing and WOW, it made an enormous difference. I was able to nurse without pain and he gained wait more quickly. We did it at the ped when he was about two weeks old, if I remember. I agonized a lot over it for some reason but it was fine and I should have done it earlier.
anon says
Same. And I had my tongue tie clipped when I was 16 (we have the dominant form, apparently) to help with my speech, and it was a huge hassle. DS1 was 6 weeks and it made a big difference without nursing. The other two we did within 2 days of birth. I know that whether to clip or not comes in waves (my tongue wasn’t clipped because formula was the way to go in 1980, apparently), but I’m happy we did it.
Anon says
A lactation consultant told me my daughter had a tongue tie. My ped said they’re overdiagnosed these days and she didn’t think it was appropriate to do anything about it in our situation, which she described as very mild. She recommended a n*pple shield for nursing discomfort, which worked amazingly well (except for the annoyance of having to wash the shield regularly). My daughter did have fairly bad gas around 4-6 weeks and then again when we started solid foods, but my ped seemed to think it was unrelated.
anon says
speaking of the paci above, i have a thumb sucker. she is only 14 months and really only sucks her thumb when she is tired (i’m not sure if she sucks it all night or not), but i’ve noticed she is starting to break her skin bc she is teething so hard. i try to discourage it during the day, and i dont really care that she sucks her thumb at 14 months, though i know she will have to stop eventually, other than the fact that she is starting to break her skin. any ideas?
SC says
No real advice on how to keep her from breaking the skin. But keep it clean when you can, and keep a band-aid on it. If you see any sign of infection, call your pediatrician right away. My son sucked his thumb as well and, at one point, he broke the skin, and it got infected. According to our pediatrician, that can turn into a big problem because the infection is near the joint. Kiddo was fine after a round of antibiotics, but it could have been worse.
Lana Del Raygun says
Can you redirect her to a paci or teether?
Anon says
Most kids have pretty entrenched preferences – my daughter was a finger sucker from birth and would scream hysterically when we put a pacifier anywhere near her. A teether is good for when your kid is awake and happy, but doesn’t serve the same purpose (non-nutritive sucking to fall asleep or self-soothe) and won’t replace a pacifier or thumb/finger. If you have a kid who doesn’t have the need to suck on either a thumb or paci, you’re just lucky.
OP says
i have twins. they both used a paci at first. one ditched it at 3 months and didn’t replace it with anything (though she is the worse sleeper of the two), the other at 4 months, but replaced it with the thumb. a bandaid makes me nervous bc she could suck it off and choke on it?
Lana Del Raygun says
I was an entrenched finger-sucker into third grade; I’m throwing out suggestions because I know entrenchment varies.
Anonymous says
True story: I knew a girl from elementary school through high school. We graduated high school and she was still sucking her thumb at night. It caused a lot of really complex and expensive orthodontic problems, not to mention the social aspect.
I posted my story above about getting my son off the binkie (it wasn’t that bad); my whole thing with pacifiers was – you can take them away when it’s time. You can’t cut their thumbs off when you want them to stop sucking their thumb. I don’t think it’s too late to transition to a paci and then wean off of that when the time comes.
Anonymous says
My kid did this and our pediatrician gave us an prescription antibiotic ointment (basically extra-strength Neosporin) to put on it to keep it from getting infected. When we noticed her thumb getting bad we’d use the ointment right after she woke up in the morning or after nap, which were times she was less likely to suck on her thumb and lick it off.
Pogo says
Mine got a blister once when teething really bad. I used lanolin, with the assumption that since it’s safe for them to directly suck on when nursing, it should be fine for the thumb. It definitely helped it heal – I remember thinking, wow that looks awful if it’s not better in a day I’m calling the doctor. And it was improving within a day, and totally healed/gone a few days later.
I have also had luck re-directly the hand/thumb sucking/chewing during daytime to a teething necklace. I think it’s partly the novelty (wait, something mommy is wearing I can chew on?!) – he won’t chew on a regular teether anymore though I know some people have luck with that banana toothbrush thing.
CCLA says
We did the lanolin, too, for our thumb sucker. I was worried about bandaids for choking reasons like above posted, so didn’t go that route. Lanolin fixed the issue within a couple of days. Probably any of the creams used for nursing would work well.
Anonymous says
My daughter just started at a new daycare after we moved to another state and it has been ROUGH. She was happy at her old place, even at dropoff, so I know she can be settled but it will take time. But I’m debating pulling her from her new place because the teachers seem to think that a lot of crying while they settle in is normal, and thus don’t do anything to console them when they’re upset. It’s kind of ridiculous but maybe I need a gut check on what I can expect? She’s 20 months in a Bright Horizons now.
I’ve tried asking the teachers what they recommend to make the transition easier and they just say things like “all kids cry, it will take a while” but they don’t seem to be reassuring or distracting the other kids in the room when they cry, so I have to assume they are doing the same with my daughter after I’m gone. I don’t think that’s really an acceptable solution but am stumped on how to move forward. I emailed the director to set up a meeting to discuss what she thinks. Thanks for your advice!
Anonymous says
If your gut doesn’t like it. I would look for another place. My kids have gone through tough drop off phases and the teachers never ignored it (and we love our daycare!). They might not hold them until they stop crying, but they always give some love and help them settle into a comfortable spot to work through their feelings.
Kids do cry and, sometimes, letting them do so is best. But I would want a little more compassion than you’re seeing, especially for a new kid who just moved.
Annie says
I’d more daycares. Our teachers hold criers, distract them with toys, let them feed the fish or do another exciting task, etc.
Spirograph says
First, I do think that the daycare teachers are right, crying is normal. Transitions to a new center can be tough, and especially since she is dealing with the bigger change of moving, all that frustration may be channeling into the drop-off. We switched daycares a year ago and it took a couple months to go back to normal even though we hadn’t moved and literally everything else stayed the same.
Your concern that the teachers aren’t doing anything to console your daughter when she’s upset is valid. I don’t think it’s appropriate for the teachers to just ignore a crying kid, but there’s a spectrum of comforting and their actions should be somewhere on it. I would NOT expect the teachers to focus all their attention on your daughter and hold her, but I would expect them to try to involve her in the activities with the other kids, ask her to “help” them with something, or at least acknowledge that she’s sad and encourage her to calm down off to the side so she can join the group. Especially at drop-off when new kids come in and get the idea that they should be upset mom/dad is leaving because another kid is standing there wailing for mommy, I’d think the teachers would want to nip that cycle in the bud.
For your conversation with the director, I’d ask how the teachers are trained/encouraged to deal with crying at drop-off. Like, is this a center–wide policy that you don’t engage, or is it maybe something specific to the teachers in your daughter’s room?
IHeartBacon says
“. . . but there’s a spectrum of comforting and their actions should be somewhere on it.”
This.
govtattymom says
I have a thought, although this could be totally off. Could the teachers’ behavior be related to the fact that you are still in the room? My daughter’s teacher gets frustrated and acts distant when parents of upset children linger (it often exacerbates the situation and upsets the other kids). However, she offers hugs and support once the parent leaves. Is it possible that the teacher is providing more support and attention when you are removed from the environment?
Anon says
I think it’s inappropriate if they won’t console her at all. I agree with others that it’s reasonable to want you to drop and go, and to not turn their attention to a crying child until that child’s parent is out of the room. Fwiw, my 16 month old daughter is three weeks into her first ever daycare, and still cries at drop-off fairly frequently but the teachers have told us they are always able to get her happy within 30 seconds of us leaving. It would be a huge red flag for me if she were crying for more than a minute or two (without us present) and not receiving attention from a teacher.
Anonymous says
Trust your instincts. Having a hard time at drop off and tears are normal but the teachers should be holding her, trying to distract her, offering a favorite book etc and not just shrugging it off. In case it helps, my middle kid cried every day at drop off for the first three weeks and I almost quit my job. Now he demands to be picked up ‘last’ and complains if other kids are still there when I come to get him.
anon says
I agree that crying is normal, but also that the teachers should be doing something – talking to the kids, reassuring, letting them hold their special lovey etc. FWIW, my kids all went to a Bright Horizons, and there was definitely some “parent, leave the room because you’re making it worse”, but they usually tried to engage the crying kid or offer them a lovey or something like that. (I think the rule was that you could only hold your lovey in a specific part of the room.) . They wouldn’t always be engaged one on one or holding them, but they would talk to them and at least try to engage.
Anonymous says
My daycare encouraged the quick confident good bye as well but also emphasized that we could watch from the one way mirror observation window so that we were reassured that little one settled after not too long.
Anon says
My husband practically lives in the observation booth at our toddler’s daycare. I’m surprised the teachers are fine with it (it would make me uncomfortable if I were a teacher) but they’re SO cheery about it! “That’s what it’s there for!”
Buddy Holly says
+1 to all the comments saying to trust your instincts. One of the most important things I have learned in becoming a mother is that our instincts are valuable and that I ignore them at my own peril. I’ve got thousands of years of good instincts baked into my genes, passed down from my mother, her mother, etc. I don’t need to fully understand how exactly it works, but I know enough to act when something in me just *knows* that a situation is not good for my child.
Anonymous says
What do you mean by “just” started? Kids take time to adjust. Recently, my kid returned to a daycare he attended for over two years. Same building, almost all the same children. Only differences were a different teacher and he was away for awhile. He cried because it was still an adjustment. But he also cried more when I dropped him off than my husband, because he knew it affected me more. Kids are smart, they know who they can manipulate (aka, me). Trust your gut, but also find out the facts. Is your chid happy once you depart? How long does she cry? Is it the daycare or could it be the move?
ALC says
Just a rant — we ordered a glider from Pottery Barn Kids on May 11, and the delivery date keeps being pushed back. Now it’s August 26, but no guarantee it won’t be pushed back again. Arrggh.
Anon says
Pottery Barn Kids is awful. The furniture we bought there was terrible quality for the price and the customer service was awful. Cancel the order and buy a glider somewhere else.
drpepperesq says
agreed! we got a gift from my MIL of the little kid sized arm chair with the name personalization, and when it arrived everyone was SHOCKED at how poor quality it was. we also waited a super long time for it. i’ve seen better quality items like that at homegoods.
NYCer says
Hmm we have a crib and a dresser from PBK and both are good (enough) quality…basically what I would expect for the price point.
Anonymous says
I have the slip covered comfort glider from PBK and I absolutely love it! To each her own.
anon says
that happened to me when i ordered a dresser from there
SC says
This happened to me too, but it was delayed probably 4-6 weeks, not months. I do like the chair we purchased. It was the type of arm chair where you can switch out the rockers for regular legs, and we still use it as a regular arm chair.
My mom once ordered a cocktail shaker from Pottery Barn as a gift, and when it didn’t arrive for the holidays, she figured she’d keep the order and give it to her friend the following Christmas. It never came in, and my mom eventually canceled the order after about 2 years.
Anon says
Anyone have reassuring stories about toddlers who hated the water and eventually grew into strong swimmers? We have tried to take my 16 month old swimming maybe 5 times. The first few times were complete disasters and she cried hysterically until we left the pool area. We eventually got her comfortable near the water, but she still gets very upset when we try to dip any part of her body in the water. She likes bathtime but not having her hair washed, fwiw. We have done a variety of different swimming experiences (indoor vs outdoors, alone vs with friends, encouraging her to walk into a shallow area vs held by an adult in deeper water etc.) I feel like everyone I know has a “water baby” who loved being in the pool basically from birth, so I feel like a bit of an outlier.
Anon says
My 23 month old absolutely hated the water. Like a year of swim lessons were mostly just crying sessions except for her favorite part (practicing climbing out, which she excels at). I’m big on water safety and strong swimming skills though, so there is no sympathy here. We’ve stopped lessons for the summer (in lieu of weekly pool trips with mama who can teach the same things as a splash class), and just in the last week or two her confidence has really been building. We started some small pool toys a few weeks ago (buckets and pails she can pour from), and that seems to help – she will walk around in the shallow end playing with them. Last weekend we tried goggles for the first time and she loved them and was significantly calmer (note, not calm, but improvement!) being held in deep water and practicing dunking and bubble blowing. So my advice is to just keep trying!
Anonymous says
If it makes you feel any better, my lifelong water baby is still a pretty crappy swimmer at age 7 – he’s just not very coordinated, e.g. he bicycles his legs while kicking and punches the water instead of scooping. (Sadly he takes after his mother, who also always loved the water but was the absolute worst swimmer on the team for years).
Anyway, my point is, water babies aren’t necessarily strong swimmers, and I think you have every reason to be hopeful your daughter will grow to like being in the pool more.
Anonymous says
Me! My 6-year-old was pretty resistant to swimming pretty much since birth. We had him in lessons which we had to take a break from because he was so resistant, and we eventually enrolled him in lessons at a fancy private swim school, where he started getting more comfortable. Then, all of a sudden, at the start of the summer, we visited a friend’s house with a pool, and he got super into it. He’s been going to a camp where they do swimming every day, and he can now *kind of* swim and is really proud of himself and wants to go to the pool all the time. I think he will be truly swimming by the end of the summer. So, it may be a while, but my advice is not to push it too hard early on if your kid is resistant.
Anonymous says
My DD was very cautious from about 14-22 months. Toddler pool took a LONG time to coax her into, and the beach/ocean took a few days. But weirdly around 2 she got much braver with playground equipment AND water. At 28 months she’s now a complete water rat and can’t get enough. I think there’s something about that age where they’re starting to recognize new situations/danger a bit. So obviously my DD is too young to be a strong swimmer, but I think 16 months is going to determine a lifetime skill :)
Anonymous says
She’s a baby. She’s way too small to learn to swim. Try again in a year it will be fine.
anon says
Same! My 22 mo old clung to me in parent & me water classes, sat on the steps of the pool for years and cried at his first few swimming lessons at age 6 and a half. Then, one day, he was crying, and I was trying to get his younger sister into her lesson, so I left him by the edge of the pool, and his instructor got him into the water. Since then, he turned into a swimming star and now loves the water. So, it might take some time (and might be more than a year), but it can definitely happen :).
anon says
growing up we had a family friend whose toddler hated the water and refused to get into the pool as a slightly older kid during swim lessons…this toddler ended up as one of the top swimmers on her high school’s swim team.
have you taken her to a splash pad? what about an above ground baby pool where she can play with toys? can you try to take her swimming more frequently?
Ms B says
We had too much 4th of July yesterday and plan to stay in tonight with The Kid for movie night. Please recommend something non-Disney suitable for one almost-eight year old and two parents that is available on Netflix or Prime that will entertain the child, not annoy the adults, and that we might not already have seen. Thanks!