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There’s a lot to like about this cute tote from Anthropologie. I like the black, gray, and white tones and how they are woven together with cotton material to look like a sweater. I also like how the non-sweater part is also woven together to keep the eye moving. At first, I liked the black version a lot more, but as I zoomed in on the blue version, the pattern has grown on me. I think this is a great bag for someone who either doesn’t buy or is trying to limit buying leather products. I find that too much “vegan leather” (by the way, whatever marketing genius came up with that term deserves a raise) can look cheap, but the majority of this bag being sweater material makes this a classy-looking choice. The bag is $98 and is available in two color versions. Sweater Tote Bag This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Paging KateMiddletown says
I just saw your post from yesterday. I highly recommend placing a large order from Asos. They have super easy returns and lots of tops and blazer options. I also recommend buying like 5 different external phone chargers and extra cords and stashing them everywhere – purses, car, hospital bag, etc.
Bottoms – buy yourself a few styles of Ecru ponte pants. They are incredibly flattering and (I think) sophisticated. They have several pull on styles available. (You have to google Ecru Style to find the website.)
Govtattymom says
And I just wanted to say- I’m thinking of you KateMiddletown!
anon says
i also just read your post from yesterday. sending all of the hugs and thinking of you and your family. cannot imagine how hard this must be. i know you said you don’t need casseroles or anything like that, but make sure you take care of yourself too and don’t run yourself ragged running between work, home and the hospital, so don’t be afraid of asking for help from your community when you need it.
Anon in NYC says
KateMiddletown, sending you and your family all of the virtual hugs!
As for fashion, I would suggest some of the ponte sheath dresses from Lands End and throwing a blazer on over that, plus black tights. I personally found that unzipping and pulling down the top of a dress was easier, pumping-wise, than other options. And, the dresses are stretchy and machine washable (I air dried, but you can probably throw them in the dryer) so they are extraordinarily easy to care for. I had 3-4 and wore them day in and day out for a few years postpartum.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
More hugs, love, and light from my corner. Hope you find some things that make you feel good, strong, and mentally prepared for the months ahead.
Anonymous says
I also like the land’s end dresses. They are easy to wash and hold up well.
rosie says
I don’t think they look quite as nice as the sheath dresses, but LE has some fit and flare-style crossover neck dresses that I could pump in without taking the whole top of it off.
and big, gentle hugs to you and your family
Marshmallow says
Jedi hugs from me too.
I think the uniform suggestion yesterday was great. I’d get a bunch of machine-washable white or cream tops (some nice tee shirts, some blouses), black pants with elastic waist (Everlane and Uniqlo make great options), and a couple of soft gray blazers (I have a gray jersey one from LOFT; I think J. Crew makes a sweater blazer that would probably be perfect for going from work to hospital). I’ve sung the praises before of the Everlane easy pant + GoWeave blazer, which together make an insanely comfy suit if you need that for work. Rotate a couple pairs of black loafers or oxfords.
Spirograph says
Thinking of you and your family, KateMiddletown, even though you didn’t ask for hugs and casseroles.
I also liked the uniform suggestion a lot. NY&Co has comfy pull-on pants that are a good price for bodies in transition. I haven’t bought any in a couple years so can’t speak to current quality, but my older ones are still going strong.
Anonymous says
I just bought some a few months ago – they have held up to my notoriously rough washing machine, look great and remain comfy!
ranon says
My return to work wear that is pump friendly is Beta brand pants in one size up from what I really need. It makes them not as tight on my rear and thighs. I pair these with Old Navy tunic tops that have 3-4 buttons at top and enable me to pump. Hugs Kate. We had early days health scares and it sucks. My thoughts are with you.
ranon says
Sorry me again. I am your same weight and height and found that beta brand XL and XXL and the tops XL XXL at old navy.
Emily S. says
Lark & Ro wrap dresses from amazon are inexpensive and convenient for pumping. Hugs to you and your family, Kate!
KW says
Ugh this weather! I live in the Midwest and my 7 yo came home sick from school Thursday, there was a snow day Friday, yesterday was a holiday, and today is another snow day. 7 yo has been sick all weekend (cough, congestion, sore throat, fever), DH was sick and throwing up Friday/Saturday, and now 3 month old has a cough. Is it spring yet? Anyway, any tips for helping 3 month old through a cold? No congestion yet, but I’m sure it’s coming. Is a nose sucker my best bet? Humidifier? It’s been awhile since I’ve had an infant. I’m BFing if that makes a difference.
Anonymous says
I really liked the Nose Frieda a lot. Highly recommend. We would also use saline drops when kiddo was young enough not to protest. I really don’t know if they helped, but it felt like we were doing something. Tylenol (I think that is okay after two months?) for headaches and all. Snuggles. Be prepared to switch off at night. Running the shower and hanging out in the bathroom. For a humidifier, we use a cool mist. Usually something in the $30-35 range. Often a Holmes/Honeywell. We usually cycle a new one into kiddo’s room each winter because I hate cleaning them so do the bare minimum.
Spirograph says
+1 to Nose Frieda and a cool mist humidifier.
I remember one of the biggest problems with infants and congestion was that everything seemed worse when they were lying flat to sleep. I stacked some towels under one end of the crib mattress to make a little incline, and that seemed to help.
IHeartBacon says
I second the Nose Freida rec and the rev to put a towel underneath one side of the mattress.
Anonymous says
I have never been sicker than after using the nose frida. FYI the filter does not filter out viruses, only bacteria.
rosie says
I think that filter is really just for show…
Anonymous says
You know, until this comment I never even thought filtering bacteria or viruses was something I should reasonably expect the nose frida filter to do. I always assumed it was to keep a glob of snot from making its way into my mouth. I also figure I was equally exposed to all my infant’s germs due to the amount of close contact whenever he/she was sick.
Anonymous says
Our ped was a big advocate for squirting saline in our son’s nose with a small syringe (with no needle). That helped make the snot sucker more effective sometimes.
AwayEmily says
We used a LOT of the saline-in-a-spray-can for both kids and it helped. We didn’t use a syringe; we found that the spray mechanism on the can was effective enough. Sometimes it required two parents to hold the baby’s head still, though (especially once they caught on to what was happening).
Anon says
We survived a couple of nasty colds with just the bulb suction and saline and tylenol, but if you’re BFing (probably applies to bottles too), make sure to suction before you feed. Since they have to breathe through their nose to nurse, it makes nursing easier, and I read somewhere that doing it after can sometimes cause spitup (but never experienced that myself). You can’t really give them cold medicine and your options while BFing are more limited, but I found tylenol helped with the sore throat for me and for LO and gallons of decaf tea for me. I think my ped OKed trying benadryl for the congestion, but I don’t think it was that young (don’t really remember). You could probably call the office and ask. Definitely yes on the humidifier, and we also would run the hot shower prior to bath time so bathtime was nice and steamy too. They may want to nurse more frequently but for shorter stints as well. My LO weathered the colds much better than me, and we both weathered them better than her father, FWIW.
lawsuited says
Hydrasense and nose sucker before bed, baby Vick’s vaporub, Tylenol, humidifier.
Travel Carseat Advice says
Wisehive – Any updated advice on travel carseats? I keep seeing and hearing the Cosco Scenera Next but (pardon my pearl clutching) is it safe? We use the Britx Clicktight for our daily use, and the Scenera Next seems so much more bells-and-whistles free. I’m hoping this is my anxiety flaring up.
Alternatively, thoughts on renting a carseat from car rental companies when renting a car? I’ve heard mixed things, especially that the installation is typically on you which sounds.
We definitely need something for travel, so taking recommendations. This would be typically gate-checked. DS is about average-above average height and weight and currently 14 months old. TIA!
OP says
Ah, typed too fast – Meant to say — installation is typically on you which sounds like it could be tricky with a strange car and strange brand.
Anon says
I asked almost the exact same question a month or two ago and people pointed out that padding doesn’t equal safety and the Scenera Next also has higher safety ratings (by some metrics anyway, including Consumer Reports) than the Britax seats. That said, my kid (11 months and big for her age) finds the Scenera incredibly uncomfortable, especially on planes, because the buckle is pressed right up against her back/bum and there’s no padding to cushion it. So we’re in the market for a new travel carseat. But if you’re checking the carseat, I don’t know that weight matters much, so why not just take your regular seat? We wanted a super light carseat because we use it on the plane, and thus have to schlep it through the airport with us. DH is our carseat installation expert, but he says the Scenera Next is way easier to install than the Britax clicktights.
OP says
Thanks! Helpful. We check it at the gate, not at baggage claim so weight would def be a factor as it would be schlepped between Uber and through Airport.
Anonymous says
We have the Britax cart thing and really like it. You strap the seat to it, and then it rolls. We ended up putting a bunch of crap in it (carry ons are backpacks) to pull through the airport, and it was nice. In theory, it is meant to make a stroller of the car seat, but we did not use it that way. Yeah, it’s heavy to install, but that’s such a short period of time (like a minute or two of the travel), that it just isn’t worth an entirely different car seat to us.
Anon says
If you don’t use it on the plane, is there a reason you want to check at the gate? Checking a carseat at check-in is also free and it’s much easier to get the kids through the airport in a stroller or baby carrier (strollers gate check free). I don’t really see the upside to bringing it through the airport unless you want to use it on a plane. I’ve also seen people with little wheely attachments for the big heavy carseats, if that’s something you might consider. Then you can wheel the carseat + kid through the airport just like you’d wheel a suitcase.
Anon says
I personally would never check my car seat with my luggage. What if it gets lost and then I’m stuck at my destination. This is why i always gate check
Anonymous says
Depending on the airport – some gate checked stuff is offloaded with the checked stuff. I’ve had that happen twice at Heathrow. Including one time that DH had to enter the UK, grab the stroller, and bring inside through security because they not only didn’t bring it back to the gate, they failed to tag it to the final destination.
Anon says
Ah, I admit I hadn’t even thought about that angle, but I don’t think I’d worry about it too much. Luggage getting actually lost as opposed to just delayed is pretty rare. And if it is lost or delayed, you could always rent or buy a cheap carseat (the Scenera Next is <$40) to get you through the trip. We always check our pack-n-play and I feel like it would be equally inconvenient to not have that, since we normally stay in apartments that don't really have any appropriate sleeping area for babies.
OP says
I’m on team I don’t want to deal with luggage delays or loss so the gate checked car seat is best option for us. Not sure how we would leave airport without car seat even when they are easy to buy at most domestic locations. Since DS is <2 we haven't had to buy his seat yet so no need for potentially using seat on plane.
Anonymous says
I didn’t realize that you could gate check a carseat! We always check our Cleks but we bought the expensive padded wheeling bags so they are protected and can be wheeled through the airport. 4+ international flights without issue so far.
I don’t trust rental car agencies to provide suitable car seats and I don’t want to have to hassle with unknown car seat installation. Will probably switch to renting when they are all in booster seats as there’s much less possibility of error with those.
Anonymous says
We’ve used the Cosco Scenera Next as our travel carseat and it’s fine. I don’t love it, because no toddler car seat is fun to carry through an airport, but it’s easy enough to install, and lightweight compared to our normal carseat. A note on renting: we’ve done this too at the rental car company, and were able to choose between the…. Scenera or the EvenFlo version of the Scenera. So you’re basically paying $15/day for a carseat that costs about 50-60 bucks to buy outright and you still have to install it yourself, so the only benefit is not having to schlep through the airport. All three times we have rented the carseats have appeared new, to the point where I have wondered if they are only used once and then tossed.
AwayEmily says
We’ve rented carseats a few times and they’ve always been new or nearly new and perfectly fine.
Installation can be a bit of a pain with a carseat that’s different than you are used to but we just Google the instructions. I don’t think it’s ever taken more than ten minutes to get it installed (and usually much less).
shortperson says
all carseats sold new in the us are safe. renting carseats not so safe, you dont know what theyve been through. people who are super worried about carseat safety also do not check carseats as they get bounced around by the baggage people, so they bring them on board every time. (join the fb group “carseats for the littles” to meet these people.) personally the line we draw is that we always bring our own travel carseats but we check them.
RR says
I’ve rented carseats. We were just in Scotland and rented a convertible and two boosters with the car we rented. Installation was on us, in a car of a brand that I’d never heard of before and can’t even remember (although it was an awesome car–I would buy it if they sold it here). It was totally fine. They were new-looking and clean. I found it much easier than trying to carry one with us. It would have been fairly easy for boosters because you can get those inflatable ones, but I have no desire to schlep a convertible carseat of any variety around Europe.
We only rented a car for part of our trip. In London, I booked an airport transfer that came with seats (already installed by them). Otherwise, we used public transportation or black cabs, which my kids rode in without seats.
Anonymous says
I’m team use carseats on planes because my kids will happily sit in their carseats for ages (and sleep!) and they wouldn’t do that in a plane seat. The Sceneras feel flimsy if you’re not used to plastic seats, but are perfectly safe and so light to carry and easy to install. Whether your kid finds it comfortable seems to vary — we’ve done up to 9 hour flights with our kids sitting in them and they’ve never complained about the buckle (either rear facing or forward facing).
My concerns about renting seats are a) if we’ll be able to get ones for both kids of the correct stage and b) installing unfamiliar seats. I also like that we can bring our seats, take a taxi from the airport using them, and then use public transit the rest of the time. Without seats we’d have to take all our luggage on transit and with toddlers that can be a little tricky.
blueberries says
We just bring our giant Chicco Nexfits, put then in padded backpacks, and check with the rest of our luggage.
It’s a pain to bring the giant car seats, but car seat installation is super important and a total pain. I prefer a seat I’ve had a lot of practice installing for the rental car and the Lyft from the airport back home.
After a friend told me of a car rental agency not having an appropriate car seat after she called multiple times to confirm, I haven’t wanted to risk renting a car seat.
blueridge29 says
We rented car seats once and only once. While the car rental location had an entire room of car seats we were responsible for finding an appropriate seat and installing it. There were lots of newborn seats, but not a lot of convertible/5 -point harness options for older kids. It was such a pain that next time we bought two inexpensive car seat bags and checked our car seats. It was a huge relief to know that our toddler and kid were in seats that were appropriate for their weight, height and could be safely used with a latch system.
rosie says
Yes, it’s safe. May not be as comfy as the seats with more padding (we have Britax Marathon in our car, Cosco Scenera Next for travel), but it gets the job done. Our kid sometimes has issues with the buckle when front facing on a plane, but she rear faces in it in the car and it’s fine (plus it sounds like you’re not planning to use on the plane). I think it’s much safer to use a seat that (1) you know hasn’t been in an accident or some other incident where the manufacturer recommends replacement, and (2) is properly adjusted for your kid & you know how to install. It can be a PITA trying to get a good install in a rental car in general–figuring out if you want to do latch vs belt, middle vs side–we recently had a rental that basically we could only get it really tight in the middle because of the length of the seatbelt parts. No need to add an unknown carseat into the mix, especially if you’re landing late w/a tired kiddo.
Not quite twins says
My 2 and 3 year old are begging to share a room. We were planning on putting them together this summer, but they are both very focused on it right now. We spent the night at my mom’s house where they shared a room and they thought it was the best.thing.ever. I wasn’t happy about the time it took them to fall asleep, but I’m hoping that gets better? I’m considering just doing it and seeing if it works out. Both are out of cribs and in toddler beds (very tall and very good climbers). Does anyone have advice or suggestions for things to read to make this transition easier? Or is this a time to wing it?
RR says
I’d lay down some basic ground rules and wing it. We’ve had various iterations of room sharing, and it was generally always fine. My twins (a boy and a girl), shared a room until they were 7ish? Then, my two girls (so, 7 and 2 at the start), shared a room for a couple years. I don’t think sleep challenges were any worse with sharing a room, and in a lot of ways it was nice for them to have each other–it lessened some of the “I’m scared” stuff. We moved last summer, so now everyone has their own room, which is nice for the older two as the move into being tweens and wanting their own space more. My youngest will still occasionally say that she misses sharing a room with her sister.
Spirograph says
My 3 kids share a room and think it’s the best thing ever. Honestly, don’t overthink this, you can just wing it. My older two have shared a room since the middle child was an infant, and we moved the youngest in recently after he turned 2 (siblings were 3 and 5 at the time). He was keen to be in the “big kid room.” Since they’re asking to share a room, you can make it very clear that sharing is a privilege and if they can’t be quiet and go to sleep at a reasonable time, they’ll need to sleep separately.
I typically give the kids about 15 minutes after lights out to chat, but after that it needs to be quiet. DH or I will sit in the armchair in their room (with podcast or kindle) to enforce the quiet if needed. If they’re really out of control, one of them will have to go to sleep in our bed, and we’ll transfer later. We go through phases regarding how regularly these extra steps are necessary, but overall they’ll usually calm down and at least one will go to sleep within in the 15 minutes.
Redux says
We’re a couple months into this arrangement with our just-turned 5 and just-turned 2-year olds. IT. IS. AWESOME. My 5 year old had started to have some bedtime phobias that have been tempered by having the 2-year old in the room. And the 2-year old had really inconsistent morning wake times that have evened out with the help of the 5 yo’s ok to wake clock plus picking up on her cues. It has lengthened our bedtime routine some– rather than sequencing the little one in bed first around 7:30, then solo cuddles/book with the older one in bed around 8:00, we do it all together– two books, two song choices, etc., and lights out is closer to 8:30 It tends to go awry if we try to rush this extended bedtime– by having them choose one book together, or trying to split them up one read with DH the other with me. They fully reject that, so it has resulted in a later bedtime overall. But, the benefits of fewer bedtime tantrums from the older one and more consistent wake time from the younger one are well worth the trade.
Anon says
Can those of you with a nanny talk to me about your morning routine? Do you say goodbye to your kids and disappear as soon as the nanny arrives? I have flex work hours, and we have more nanny hours than we need, so ideally I’d like to use the first 30-45 minutes of the nanny’s hours to eat my own breakfast and get ready for work, and then nurse my baby (10 months) again before finally leaving. But the baby sometimes gets kind of fussy when she sees DH or me walking around when she’s supposed to be playing with the nanny. Our nanny has told me (a bit rudely IMO) that us being around is “bad” for the baby, and we should leave the house as soon as she arrives. I really think she means it’s bad for her, since she has to do more work calming the baby down (baby always gets calm quickly once we’re out of view), and I’d really like to give the baby a couple weeks to adjust to the new morning routine before giving up on it completely. We’re just at the start of week 2 now. What are your thoughts? Is this something that is likely to get get better with time? Or do I just have to accept that I need to leave my house as soon as the nanny arrives?
anne-on says
Wait, what? No, that’s totally out of line from the nanny. What if you worked from home (which you may do occasionally I imagine?). Almost everyone I know with a nanny used them to come earlier so that the parent would be able to eat/get dressed/shower/pack up work bags while another person has infant responsibilities. I can see trying to stay with the baby away from you (in the nursery looking at books, go for a walk outside, etc.) but telling you you need to leave is ridiculous. I’d also question her judgement if SHE didn’t come up with one of these solutions on her own, isn’t that the point of having a seasoned nanny – they can troubleshoot these situations with you?
Anon says
+1 the nanny was out of line here.
Anonymous says
I tend to agree with nanny here. Day care and babysitter transitions were always much easier on my daughter when I did the drop and dash or left the house immediately. If baby sees the parents, of course she’s going to fuss for their attention.
If you want to finish your own morning routine while baby hangs out with nanny, why not have nanny take baby into the nursery and close the door, or take baby out for a walk until you’ve left?
AwayEmily says
This is a really good idea. Explicitly set that first 45 minutes be “playing in the nursery” time.
Anon says
I answered below, but I think the arrangement is slightly different with a regular nanny. I do the drop and dash at school and with sitters watching them at irregular times, absolutely, but you can and should be able to get into a routine with a nanny that doesn’t involve an immediate departure. When you are both in the home regularly, you can definitely co-exist, provided everyone is on the same page. If the nanny is frustrated with the arrangement, then it’s unlikely to ever work. I did have nannies answer during interviews that they would not work in a home where a parent was home, but as discussed below, I’ve had at least two with whom it was a great arrangement.
RR says
I think that this becomes more flexible over time. My kids throw me out of the house when the nanny arrives, but they are older (10, 10, 5). I’ve worked from home with the nanny there though, and they mostly just ignore me. I let the nanny set the tone and intervene only if there’s some meltdown or disrespect to the nanny that I feel I can nip in the bud (because I do think it can be awkward for her to discipline them in front of me–I support her, but I could see why she’d be nervous). So, as your baby gets older, I think this becomes more of a non-issue.
Anonymous says
Agree that it’s hard on the baby to see you walking around and not being available to the baby. It’s pretty usual that the baby would prefer to play with you over the nanny that’s new to them.
I would start a routine of telling baby that you are going to get dressed now and you will come back to nurse. Then take breakfast upstairs and get dressed. Then come down and nurse and say goodbye for the day. Even though baby won’t understand exact words, they will quickly learn the routine.
anon says
+1 The nanny probably could have handled this significantly better but in the end, I think you do need to be more inaccessible once the nanny arrives. A walk for a set amount of time is probably a great idea, or you just disappearing behind closed doors until you are ready to nurse again and then leave.
Anon says
I’ve had a few nannies, and as a result of this issue, I will now ask in interviews if the nanny is comfortable with me being present while she is working. I had a nanny who also wanted me to be out of the house when she was working, and I found this infuriating. To me, the benefit of flex work hours and using a nanny is that you get more time with your child. If the nanny isn’t comfortable working alongside of you, even if the child is a little fussier more frequently, then you’ve lost the benefit of the arrangement in my opinion.
FWIW, I had vastly more success with this arrangement when I had a great, close relationship with the nanny. I’ve had two now who worked with me seamlessly. We would chat with each other and the kids, and sometimes I’d do a kid job and the nanny would do a house job (so I’d feed them lunch while she would clean the dishes, or vice versa). It did help to be out of eyesight of the kids when I was working, but I’d join them regularly throughout the day without really having any big meltdowns. I had the most difficulty with a more traditional nanny, with whom I really didn’t have a close relationship. I don’t know if my kids picked up on the fact that we weren’t really conversing (so maybe I seemed more “distant” to them, even though I was present?), and that made them fussier for me or what. In any event, I found it to be an eventual deal breaker with the more formal nanny, and transitioned to a nanny with whom I could tell I would have this relationship (and who said she would be comfortable) with the set-up. FWIW, my older son was in a nannyshare with a family who used the same nanny for years. She was basically a member of the family, and the other mom worked from home the entire time the nanny was employed.
farrleybear says
It’s also really important to me to be able to work from home or be around while the nanny is there. I’ve only had a problem with one–she would hang back any time we were around. It seemed she was uncomfortable asserting “control” in our presence but of course kiddo picked up on this and ran with it–made working from home impossible. Needless to say, that nanny didn’t work out. The others we’ve had have been comfortable stepping into the role of caregiver–overseeing breakfast, getting kiddo dressed, etc. while I was around, and I’ve also had pretty friendly, chit-chat relationships with them too. I do agree that you might need to minimize visibility when you’re there, but you can absolutely be there!
Blerg says
Does anyone else get excessively grumpy about MLM weight loss posts on social media? I feel like half of the other moms I know are drinking (and selling) weight loss shakes these days. The posts are one thing, but I’ve also started getting direct messages from people I barley know wanting to “reconnect” so they can share these awesome products with me. Just no.
I normally am team “you do you!”, but I think the combo of 1) the implication from people I barely know that I need to lose weight; 2) the “selling this product allows me to make $$ and still be present as a mom!” comments and 3) the ridiculous before and after photos is making me cranky for some reason.
Anonymous says
I unfollow anyone that does MLM. I do not have time for that garbage.
Anonymous says
These are among the reasons I hate both MLM schemes and social media. If you can mute the stories and block the people, do it. If you can ditch social media entirely, even better!
CPA Lady says
What’s baffling to me is that the marketing message behind joining MLMs is alienating to both working moms and SAHMs. They’re like “join me in selling this product so that you can actually care for your kids but also not be a parasite to your family!” … uh, cool. way to insult working mothers and SAHMs all in one breath.
Blerg says
This is a great point that I hadn’t even thought about. But they totally are managing to insult everyone at once.
Anon says
Eh, I don’t think they’re that insulting to SAHMs. The ones I’ve seen are definitely like “we let you stay home with your kids and not hand them off to someone else to raise”…so yes, definitely at least a bit insulting to working moms. But I haven’t seen any that really have a negative tone towards SAHMs – it’s mostly about letting you be with your kids all the time but also earning extra spending money for yourself or to treat your family to nice things, etc. Like “you can stay home with your kids full time, but still bankroll your family’s trip to Hawaii this winter!” Most SAHMs eat the marketing right up and don’t seem at all insulted by it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Unfollow. Most likely these people will quit in a few months once they lose money. I like this article on MLMs: https://www.vox.com/2016/5/12/11577466/multilevel-marketing
“The MLM industry can be a wake-up call to communities and companies. Women are so motivated to work that they’ll do it for next to nothing and will bring their friends, relatives, and neighbors into their businesses. Imagine how successful they’d be if they were given the adequate support, flexibility, and training to do it in your office.”
I mostly just feel sad for how much our policies have let working parents, especially moms, down and have led to these pyramid schemes.
GCA says
+1. I just feel sorry for most of them, really. And it’s not just policies and systems but also gender norms and culture – some husbands not pulling their weight in the household, motherhood subsuming all other identity so that women are motivated to find themselves again through MLM schemes, etc.
Knope says
Follow actress Jameela Jamil on social media and repost her stuff about how awful MLM weight loss stuff is. Maybe your friends will learn from it!
Anonymous says
Car seat dilemma— what would you do?
5 month old baby is extremely tall (28” or taller) and I just noticed he’s only an inch from the top of his bucket seat, which supposedly has a height limit of 30”. Will outgrow sometime between next week and a month or two from now depending on if his growth slows down. Older son is six weeks out from being 4, probably 43”or 44” (was 42.5 in October). He has a Chico next fit convertible car seat because it had the tallest rear facing limit (my kids are very, very tall). It’s a huuuuge, very expensive car seat. Cannot fit 2 of them in either of our cars.
Would you (a) hope we make it 6 more weeks in infant bucket and then move big kid to a booster and baby to the Chico, or (b) get a smaller, cheaper convertible for baby to use until we move big kid to booster? We will need 3 either way (one for each of our cars and one for grandparents— all of us do drop off and pick up) so this could be quite the expense. Ultimately want baby in the Chico so he can rearface a long time, since he’s also so tall— most convertibles have a rear facing limit that would have had our oldest turning forward by 2, whereas we prefer rear at least till 3. Should we just move big kid right to booster at 4? Not as safe, right?
Canadian says
Maybe you’re using the word “booster” incorrectly, but definitely do not move the 4 year old to a booster. It sounds like he is still rear facing. Buy him a harnessed forward facing seat that converts to a booster later (probably when he is around age 6) or so.
I am in exactly the same boat as you. My very tall 3.5 year old (was 42” at 3 year old checkup) we just transitioned into a forward facing Britax Frontier. My 7 month old is taking her rear facing Diono Rainier.
Anonymous says
+1 to buying a forward facing car seat that converts to a booster and use it in five point harness mode right now for older kid.
I have the Graco Tranzitions and love it. Made it to the end of first grade with the five point harness.
Canadian says
Adding: we chose the Britax Frontier because it had the highest harness slots (in Canada at least) to keep kiddo harnessed for as long as possible before we move to a booster in a few years. My equally tall nephew lasted harnesses in the Frontier to age 6. A more budget friendly seat which was recommended to me with also tall harness slots is the Harmony defender. Not sure if these car seat names are consistent between countries.
PinkKeyboard says
I would get a 5 pt harness booster. You would need to flip him forward facing but a harnessed booster is also known as a carseat that only faces forward. They also typically convert to a high back booster that uses the seatbelt for when the kid is older and more mature.