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I really like this moto blazer from White House Black Market. I think it looks professional but with a slight edge that makes it interesting. The combination of the edgy style and tweed is really cute, and I like that it has a zipper closure instead of buttons. I don’t love how it’s photographed on the site while zipped, but I probably would never zip it if I were wearing it. However, I do love the cut of this blazer, the full-length sleeves, and the fringe around the edges. This blazer is available in XXS–XL and petite XXS–XL and is currently 30% off, bringing $120 down to $84. Tweed Sweater Moto Jacket Old Navy has a plus-size option. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Does it get easier leaving your kid with a nanny? We’re on day 3. My 10 month old doesn’t really cry (but she’s generally on good behavior when people she doesn’t know well are around) but she grabs my leg and clings to it so hard when I try to leave. It’s heartbreaking :( She also hasn’t been accepting bottles from the nanny, so she’s on exclusively finger foods from 9:30-4:30 (nursing in mornings and evenings). I’m not sure if that’s a big deal? She’s pretty high on the weight curve, so I don’t think it would be the biggest deal if her weight gain slowed down, but of course I don’t want her to get dehydrated, and she’s not very good at drinking water, she’ll take maybe an ounce or two all day.
anon says
Yes, it does! Eventually my kids got so excited for the nanny to come, they would run screaming her name to open the door for her in the morning.
Also, how long does she cry after you leave? One thing that helped when they did cry was our nanny would text me a pic of the kids smiling and having fun like 5 min later so I would know they had recovered.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Isn’t this around the time of peak separation anxiety? My older son was in daycare when he was an infant and from what I saw, babies that started around 11-12 months cried a lot more and were clingier during the first few weeks than those who started earlier. They were all fine after a few weeks, just give it some time.
Anon says
I think officially this is peak separation anxiety time, although she’s had pretty bad separation anxiety from about 5-6 months or even before. She used to cry when strangers would so much as look at her. It’s actually gotten a lot better in the last couple of months – we’ve been traveling a lot and she smiles/waves at strangers now. We’re also coming off a month-long break where I was home with her almost every day and she didn’t have to drink bottles (except as a supplement if she was still hungry after nursing), so I think that’s making it extra rough.
Anonymous says
Yeah, my first was normal- had a bit of a hard time with strangers 5-9 months. My second hated everyone. Kinda still does at 3. But it was especially bad until around 15 months. My 3rd is 9 months and goes anywhere, with anyone, with the world’s biggest smile on her face.
But yes, in time, baby will both not treat nan many as a stranger and also get better about mom leaving. Does she cry all day long? My second did for weeks. It was tough but we adults out stubborned her!
rakma says
Yes, it does. Eventually she’ll be throwing you out the door as soon as she sees the nanny, which will be a whole other emotional rollercoaster for you.
If you’re worried about drinking, ask if the nanny can try a bottle in a different way–in the stroller while out for a walk, leaving it on the highchair tray after finger foods for her to try to drink herself, or something else that’s different than usual. Sometimes they just need a change of pace to get used to the bottle.
Anonymous says
3 days is nothing! I know it feels like forever but it definitely takes time. I would note that we see separation anxiety re-emerge after a long time away from nanny (like when she went back to her home country, or when we took a long Christmas break) but it only lasts a day now.
Bottles/food were tough for some time (maybe 2w?), but now he eats and drinks better for her than for me.
Like everything, some day you will look back and (like me) have a hard time remembering this period because it eventually ends. It’s just so hard in the moment.
Anonymous says
My kiddo was on bottle strike when he first started daycare. All that happened was he was cranky and desperate to nurse when we got home… and constipated. The saints at daycare spoon fed him milk the first week or so. (You could try that, or try to incorporate some liquid with food – more watery purees / soup that she can be fed to help we dehydration). It took about 3 weeks for him to capitulate to drinking from the bottle. About 1.5 weeks to be comfortable at drop off.
anon says
My two younger kids would only ever drink an ounce or two from a bottle at daycare. The center would make a milky puree with rice cereal. (This lasted for 8 months.) A couple of other ideas are a sippy cup or frozen milk/fruit puree/water popsicles. That said, it will get better, and 7 hours isn’t really a big deal; she’ll make it up one way or another :).
Saving for college while renting? says
We recently paid off our student loans (yay!) and now have $2K/month to split between saving for college for our two kids and saving for a down payment. I’m having a hard time deciding which goal to prioritize. I found many articles online about how to prioritize saving for college versus saving for retirement, but they seem to assume you already own your home. We are in the opposite situation in that we are already saving for retirement, but we are renting still (love you, NYC!). I’ve gone back and forth on the pros and cons of each but curious to hear what you all think.
Anonymous says
How old are the two kids? If younger than five, I’d look at saving $350/kid/month for college (we use a 529), with the remainder to the down payment fund. If the kids are older, I’d look at doing $500/kid/month for college with the remainder to the down payment fund.
Anon says
These numbers strike me as very high. I’m saving $500/month for my preschooler and feel like we’re doing incredibly well. We plan to ramp up our savings when the daycare bills are over, but with the combo of daycare + mortgage + adequately saving for our own retirement, we have to budget pretty carefully just to get that $500. It’s not what I would consider a bare minimum threshold at all, especially not before children are out of daycare. I feel like a lot of the savings guides assume you save equally each year, and that’s just not realistic. Most people are able to save way more once their kids are older.
Anonymous says
Well, the earlier you save the less you need to save each month. I think $300-500/kid/month is a good target if you have the money. The question here is more whether they really have the money, or if that money should all be allocated to downpayment savings.
Anonymous says
My personal approach is that college savings come last, after an emergency fund, maxing tax-advantaged retirement savings, and a home purchase. Our plan is to cash-flow college (we will live on my husband’s salary and my salary will go towards college), using general cash savings to supplement if necessary and possible. If financial disaster hits, our daughter can go in-state and/or get need-based aid. If you really want to buy a home, I’d put all of your savings towards a down payment and a sizeable home repair emergency fund so you can buy as soon as possible without PMI.
That said, I don’t think home ownership has been a good investment for us. We have owned a single-family home in an MCOL suburb for 15 years. We have sunk a ton of money into maintenance and repairs over the years, and the house desperately needs $$$ renovations. The house has only appreciated about 25% in value, and if we were to sell it we’d lose a large fraction of the equity gains from appreciation and paying down the mortgage to necessary repairs and realtor costs. When you add in all the money we’ve already spent on maintenance, we would have been better off renting a two- or three-bedroom apartment for all that time instead of buying. We would also have had much more free time and much less stress. Maybe the financial equation is different in NYC, but I wish we’d never bought a home.
Anonymous says
Appreciation is so market-dependent. In my HCOL you can see 25% appreciation in 5-7 years, easy.
Anon says
College savings should come last. Your kids can take loans, get scholarships, or go to an affordable in-state school. None of these are terrible outcomes, although they may not be what you picture as ideal. Not having a home or proper retirement savings and being a financial burden to your children in your old age is a much bigger disaster. There are no scholarships or cheap in-state options for taking care of elderly parents, and that financial burden will hit them at a time when they’re trying to buy their own homes and start their own families, rather than when they’re just starting out in the workforce and can continue living like students to throw extra money at loans.
anon says
In NY, contributions to a 529 are tax deductible up to $10,000 for married filers (split among all beneficiaries). I would not save over $5,000 for each kid when you have other priorities, but your dollars might go farther if you do direct a portion to tax-advantaged spending. My view is also to try to start a good fund when the kids are young to try to give it time to grow in the market and then later take a break from contributing into the 529 at that level, but YMMV. But first max out tax advantaged retirement savings options!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I use mint and used their calculator to see how much we should save per month to get enough for 4 years of in-state tuition when the kids are ready for college. If possible, I’d save that much and then put the rest for your down payment fund. Of course, this doesn’t take into account market gains (or losses) or tuition changes, but it’s a good estimate if you have the funds available. If you anticipate getting grandparent contributions or having more money available in the future, you can do less per month now, but I’d still save something to take advantage of time.
Congrats on the loan payoff!!
aelle says
Ensuring you are 100% set in your old age is doing your children a favor. Retirement savings and owning your house (if it makes financial sense to own in your market) should come before college savings.
Overfeeding? says
Any thoughts on how much breastmilk a 4 (nearly 5) month old should be taking at daycare? My LO has been taking four 4 oz bottles a day. He’s normally there around 8 1/2 hours. It seems like a lot to me, but on days DH has stayed home with him he’s taken the same amount – and DH insists he only feeds him when he is hungry.
I’ll ask his pediatrician, obviously, but I’m curious to hear anyone else’s experiences or suggestions.
AwayEmily says
This seems within the realm of normal. My first took only about 12oz a day at that age, but my second took around 17.
Anonymous says
That seems normal to me. My child took 3 – 6oz bottles per day. She always ate more than lots of other breastfed babies at one time but less often. IMHO, all the folks who preach about overfeeding breastfed babies with the bottle because they have more than 3-4 oz at once are forgetting that every child and every mom’s BM is different. I took kiddo to a BF’ing group at the hospital when she was two months. You know, the kind where they weigh the kids before and after nursing, and she consumed more than 4 oz from my breast at that session.
Anon says
4 oz bottles are kind of small for that age. My 5 month old drank three 6 oz bottles during my ~8 hour workday, so about the same total amount or even more. I don’t think daycares really overfeed kids – they feed kids when they cry and clearly want food. There’s no real incentive for the daycare to spend extra time and attention feeding you child, because that’s time they’re focusing on one child and not the whole group of kids. And my pediatrician says you can’t really make a determination that a child is too big or overweight until after age 2, so I don’t know that overfeeding a baby really matters all that much.
Anon says
That was normal for us at that age. Around 5.5 mos we went up to 5 ounce bottles with feedings roughly at 6, 9, 12, 3 and 6 (in reality, the last feed is closer to 7 and even 7:30 some days so that schedule is definitely flexible). She’s 8.5 mos now and that’s our current schedule still. Pedi said more common is larger bottles (6oz) and fewer feedings, but this works for us.
Boston Legal Eagle says
From what I remember, my toddler took 3-4 6oz bottles of breastmilk with both my husband when he was home with him, and then at daycare. I pumped around 20 oz over 2 sessions, so that seemed to be about right for my kid. Right now, my 3 month old is taking 5oz bottles, which might be more than average but seems about right based on what I pump.
GCA says
Seems normal, unfortunately. My first also was a 12-15oz kinda guy at that age, but my second at 5mo will take 16 or 17 oz (4x4oz bottles and I send some extra that they give her if she still seems hungry). They’re very familiar with breastfed babies and paced feeding, so it’s not that. I pump 3x (twice in the day and once at night, or thrice in the day) to make what she needs. I wouldn’t say 4oz bottles are too big or too small – it really all depends on your particular child. My first was a grazer, second is not always a huge eater but will occasionally take 5-6oz.
GCA says
PS, if it’s any comfort, I think babies’ milk intake does peak around 6 months when they’re getting really active (rolling, crawling) but before solids are well established.
AwayEmily says
Also — if one of your concerns is producing enough to keep up, I cannot recommend enough the strategy of just sending whatever you pump the day before, and then leaving a container of formula at daycare in case he needs more. Removing the “milk math” stress (do I need to take some out of the freezer? am I sending too much? etc etc) is so freeing. I did this for my second kid and the difference in my mental health was substantial. It ended up that he got formula maybe once every couple of weeks, if that.
Anon says
This is a good idea, thanks. Right now I’m pumping 4 times at work which feels pretty unsustainable (I work while I’m pumping, but it’s still just a lot.). They have frozen milk at daycare for a pinch, but I still find myself worrying about getting 16 oz. per day.
Anonymous says
pump what you can and use formula for the rest. I EBF’d my first and it took a long time to accept it was okay to use formula when I struggled to make enough milk for my twins. Don’t be me. Combo feeding is totally fine. It’s the presence of BM, not the absence of formula that matters. Drop to three sessions a day a pump an extra couple minutes at each session.
As a Canadian mom who felt like I could barely hold it together when my kid was a year old, I am so amazed by moms who can pump at work at all let alone 4 times a day. You’re a superhero for your kid just by even trying this.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, 4x a day is tough. keep in mind that if you drop a session, you will likely pump more at each one. And yes, the presence of breastmilk is what matters. Also: at this point your supply is well-established enough that even if you end up supplementing a few ounces a day of formula at daycare, you will definitely be able to keep nursing without supplementing on weekends/vacations, if that is a concern (it was for me).
Anonymous says
My kids have always been in the 24-29oz/day range for breast milk at that age.
Anonymous says
Our 5 month old usually eats 14-18 oz during his 7:45-5:20 daycare day. Plus one bottle when he wakes up and one at bedtime. Formula so YMMV. At home typically 5-6 oz at a time 3-4 hours apart, at daycare a little smaller bottles a little more often. I was VERY anxious about overfeeding and our pediatrician pretty much said CALM THE F DOWN, your baby knows how much to eat. Anecdata, our friend who is nursing used a scale for a long time and by 4 months baby was nursing 6 oz at a time.
FP says
Daycare advice please! We are moving which means we have to find a new daycare for my 2.5 year old, which is miserable midyear. Not interested in a nanny because he’s been going to a wonderful daycare center since he was 4 months old, so he’s used to the structure/routine/other kids. Option 1: large chain daycare, very clean and nice, excellent facility, not convenient at all to my office. Most similar to the one he’s leaving in terms of size / number of kids. Dropoff won’t be too bad, but pickup means 2 miles in traffic then turning in a new direction and sitting in that traffic. Commute home would be close to an hour from me walking out the door of my office to arriving home with kiddo. Option 2: church daycare, seems clean and nice, older facility (not as many windows), very small – one class per age group, 3 blocks from my office. What would you all do? Option 1 is my gut choice but maybe Option 2 could work, it would just likely be a rougher transition?
anon says
I’d do Option 2. The rough transition is temporary but the time saved in your commute will last until you change daycare again or he goes to school.
Anonanonanon says
I’d be personally hesitant to utilize a church daycare. In my state, they’re exempt from many licensing requirements, and I’m not comfortable with that. I’d ask their policy on conducting staff background checks, how often they re-check, what level of check it is, if they do TB testing of staff regularly, if they monitor the vaccination status of children attending, etc.
Emily S. says
I love our church daycare (incidentally, not the church where we are registered members.) It’s older and showing its age a bit and small but oh so warm, and although they are exempt from state regs, they voluntarily follow/strive to follow them. So, you might want to ask the director of your potential church daycare about that. We chose ours because it was close to home — 7 minutes from home, whereas a daycare close to work would be 30 minutes from home. I read a lot of posts and comments on this blog about how to choose a daycare, especially close to home vs. close to work. Ultimately, I went with my gut, and it being close to home was a bonus. Good luck with the transition!
farrleybear says
My sister’s family used a church-based daycare for kiddos and loved it. It was not their church/religion but was great fit. I’d really hesitate on Option 1 given the commute.
Ducky36 says
Do you know anyone where you are moving who can help you gather recommendations? I stressed about this for a while before finding a wonderful in-home day care where my 2.5 yo is very happy. I got the recommendation from friends in town who are teachers. There are more teachers with young kids than attorneys with young kids, so it helped me to branch out from my network. Our in-home daycare follows a regular schedule, offers music and education, is dual-language, and has been excellent with potty training. If you don’t feel great about either one of the options you described I would encourage you to keep looking.
Anon says
I’m sure this has been discussed before but I couldn’t find the right thread.
I’m pregnant with our 2nd and am very nervous about going from 1 to 2. DH and I have a strong relationship and good balance right now with parenting our now 2 year old (will be 2.5 when baby comes). We communicate well and are both very involved (our toddler has a chronic health condition so we’ve both had to be very involved in her care and medical management from the start). But I struggled so much the first year and can’t imagine going through that again. And I keep watching friends’ marriages fall apart as they add kids. So I’d love to hear whether you thought it was harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2 or tips and tricks.
Mama Llama says
For what it’s worth, I have found it much easier going from 1 to 2 than from 0 to 1, at least with regard to our relationship. You may also like the book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. I didn’t think the advice was especially ground-breaking, but it’s a good reminder of strategies and it also made me appreciate my relationship more.
FVNC says
This was our experience, as well. My husband and I both knew the first year with two kids would be hard, no matter what — and it was. Now our youngest is almost 2, and in this past year we’ve established a good routine, the kids sometimes entertain each other (!!), and two kids doesn’t seem much more of a strain on our time, resources or relationship than one did. (There are other factors that made this transition easier than I feared — kid #2 is very easy going, healthy, and (now) a good sleeper, while kid #1 was none of those things; also husband’s job is much less demanding than it was when kid #1 was a baby. Still, it’s been good overall.) I learned from this s i t e over the years the importance of being on “Team [family]” — and reminding myself of that mindset when I get into score keeping, etc. is really helpful.
Anonymous says
+1000. The shock to the system of our first was monumental. The second was more of a blip. We were total DINKS, attorneys, both worked late (often until 8 or 9), and had active social lives. The shock of the first and have to figure out how to do everything (deal with daycare hours, middle of the night feedings, negotiations for work commitments and social desires) was huge. We’d negotiated all of that by the second and had become “kid people.” We had adjusted to leaving the office around 5, openly shared our calendars for after hours commitments, etc. Now that they are in two different schools, having the second has added a different layer of logistics, but ultimately I found it so, so much easier than the 0 to 1 transition.
FVNC says
This “DINKS vs kid people” transition is a good point. For a long time with only one kid, we (or really, ahem, my husband) tried to pretend we were still DINKS with a little more responsibility. Not surprisingly, this did not work well. When we accepted we were Parents (and all the schedule shifts and lifestyle changes that entailed for us), life got much easier. With two kids now, we’ve really thrown ourselves into Kid People lifestyle (hello, 5 pm dinner at a restaurant!) and are mostly enjoying it.
Anon says
This is interesting to me, because I feel like we lived our lives as Parents before we had kids. We’re homebodies, don’t live in a big city (so there are no restaurants that are too fancy for children) and have always eaten early and gone to bed early. 5:30 pm dinners at casual places were our norm before we had a baby. Once she started sleeping through the night (which was thankfully early), I feel like our first child didn’t change our lives at all. Literally the only thing I can think of we’d be doing differently if we didn’t have a kid is more adventure travel to places like Patagonia or Galapagos. But I’m terrified to have a second. Our 2.5 year old still sleeps a solid 15 hours a day, so we have a *lot* of time to ourselves for quality time as a couple, individual hobbies, downtime with books and Netflix, etc. I feel like a baby would throw all that into chaos because someone would always need something and whenever they’re both asleep, we’d have to be sleeping too.
AwayEmily says
I’ve really enjoyed reading all of these thoughts — good perspectives. We found 1-2 much, much harder than 0-1. Perhaps because like Anon at 1:36, we were already homebodies before having kids. The 1-2 transition has been tough for a few reasons (ours are 22 months apart and the baby is a year old), the biggest being:
– it’s harder for one person to travel (for conferences, etc) because you’re leaving your partner with two children
– related: almost impossible for us to travel on our own since neither of our families are able to watch two young kids
– we often feel guilty about not spending as much one-on-one time with the kids (and certainly almost never 2 on 1 time)
– the first year is just. so. tiring in a way that the first year with just 1 was not.
– way more logistics, all the time
And I found this even though both our kids are excellent sleepers (consistently getting ~11 uninterrupted hours a night) and were from a young age. All that being said, things got MUCH better once the baby turned about 10 months, and I echo what someone else said about just thinking of it as a season — it gets easier.
ElisaR says
thanks AwayEmily, I agree 1-2 was way harder for us than 0-1 …. I was beginning to think I was an outlier. I’m still waiting for it to get easier. My 13 month old is teething fiercely now after sleeping through the night for the past 7 months.
Emily S. says
I’m with y’all. 1 to 2 brought us to our knees — but, we’re rock solid now, 16 months in. I can’t sugarcoat it; the first few weeks and the first few weeks after mat leave were not pretty (hissing fights so as not to wake the sleeping baby or make the 2.5 yo cry, me fuming over chores not done, and, btw, less people who volunteer to help out because this isn’t your first rodeo.) But the upside was that I finally kicked the scorekeeping habit and learned to think of us as a team. Like another poster, we really embraced life as Kid People. Hang in there. There will be ugly days and sunshine days, and one day, you’ll realize you’ve had mostly sunshine days recently. Hugs!
rakma says
1 to 2 was better for us than 0 to 1, because we had survived the first year once and had experienced the phases ending. (For us, hearing that each phase would end was not enough, we had to live through it to believe it)
I was also better at asking for help with 2. We kept our childcare the same while I was on maternity leave, for consistency for the older one. That helped me feel like I wasn’t always ‘on’ in those first months, and I could actually sleep, shower, or whatever, which was a huge help. I was also a little less worried about supplementing with formula, tummy time, milestones, and honestly, didn’t get the baby blues the same way I did with my first. That all contributed to me feeling like less of a disaster.
We’re also pretty good about making time for us as a couple. Date nights don’t happen, but we’ll spend a naptime talking or doing a project together, and it helps with the connection part.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have your future combination: toddler (will be 3 in April) and nearly 3 month old. I was also worried about how adding a second child would affect all of us, including the toddler and our marriage. I won’t lie, the work has certainly increased and the lack of sleep doesn’t help. Our previously great sleeper toddler has also had some sleep regressions, so that’s been fun.
I think it’s even more important now that my husband and I carve out some couple time whenever we can – for us, this means my parents come over every weekend and watch the toddler, then baby during nap time, and my husband and I go on dates or just do chores solo. We had a great talk recently on one of these dates where we both expressed how we felt we were doing a lot, with not enough time to focus on ourselves or our relationship, and how important it was to let the other person know when things felt unfair (even if they will never be equal, at least for now with nursing and with one person on leave and the other at work). It’s so easy and understandable to feel like you are doing 150% of the work and look at the only other adult in the house and think that they must not be doing as much and feel resentful. Keeping up communication about this is key. Getting outside help is also crucial, IMHO.
I think it’s also important to remind yourself that this first hectic year, or maybe few years, does not necessarily define your marriage and is merely about survival. Just like the first few months back at work does not necessarily define your entire working parent journey. However, it’s important to set up tools like lots (and lots!) of communication, and setting time for yourselves now. I am by no means an expert as I’ve just started this whole 2 kids adventure! But it’s very important for me to still keep my marriage healthy, as this relationship will (hopefully) last much longer than the kid-raising years.
Anonymous says
Post partum doula for the first 3 months – I did 2 hours twice a week. And regular ‘the house with the babysitter’ date every second week after the first 6 weeks postpartum. Even if you are nursing, you can nurse and then go out for a couple hours.
HSAL says
We went from 1 to 3, and 0 to 1 was unquestionably harder. My husband and I had a good balance with the first, so I think if you have that foundation it makes the change easier. I think couples where one parent does the bulk of the work related to the older child will struggle more adding another, so I’d wonder if that was the case with your friends whose marriages fell apart. And like others said above, it’s survival for the first year but you’ll get past it. Ask for help and carve out time for each other when you can, but it’s not going to be the end of the world if your relationship has to go on the back burner for a few months.
H13 says
1-2 was easier than 0-1 for us but still hard. The first year just sucks. Remind yourself of all of the things you wish you had done differently the first time. For me, that included asking for, accepting, and paying for help. It also included seeking treatment for PPD right away. Our relationship definitely took a hit that first year but our youngest is now almost two and we’ve more than recovered.
Our oldest stopped napping soon after the baby was born. Hang on to nap or enforce quiet time for as long as you can.
Artemis says
I have three kids and for me, in hindsight, going from 1 to 2 was the hardest. It is incredibly dependent upon the personalities of your children and your surrounding life circumstances. At the time my 2nd was born, things were going downhill fast for me at work, and my husband was in Biglaw. Those were some really tough years for us. But I just knew we were a team, and we could make changes to make things better, and the kids were getting older. Now my husband is out of Biglaw, i have a family-friendly job, my three kids are in elementary school, and we are SO MUCH HAPPIER. I look back on about 3 years of my life and realize how hard it was and that I was happy with my overall life choices (choosing my husband, where we live, how many kids to have) but I was not happy every day-to-day.
I’m saying this so that you know you can make it through, even if it is hard–just a slightly different perspective. Some people add kids and end up needing to get divorced. Some people add kids and just need to keep struggling together to the light at the end of the tunnel. If you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to struggle together to the light at the end of the tunnel, I believe you can get through it. If you feel like you and your husband have good communication and you have a balanced lifestyle right now, you can work with that and build on that to grow your family and get through the tough parts.
lawsuited says
My 2nd is 4 weeks old and my 1st is 21 months. It’s not nearly as bad as I imagined. My husband and I are being very conscious to split childcare of each child between us rather than him doing everything for toddler and me doing everything for newborn, and it’s going well. Our communication with each other hasn’t changed and we still feel like a strong, happy team. Having toddler in full-time daycare during mat/pat leave is a really big factor though.
Anonymous says
Our 2nd is 5 months, oldest almost 4. I would say they are both hard in very different ways. our oldest is old enough that I had genuinely forgotten the bone-numbing exhaustion. Going back to work was easier this time — I’d already learned to turn off the part of my brain that was focused on the baby during the work day. That took me MONTHS the first time. The hard part is there is practically zero down time for now. I think it’ll get better as baby gets older but right now being home on weekends with two kids is A CHALLENGE. Also we used to do things like alternate bedtime so one of us could work out and now it’s all hands on deck, at least until baby’s a little older…
3 year old swim lessons says
Kiddo starts three year old swim lessons tonight. This is her first class where parents don’t participate. What do folks recommend for the logistics of a shower/bath after evening swim lessons? Before when DH or I participated, we’d shower with her after and make sure she was good and cleaned up. Now that we’re not getting in the water, that doesn’t work. And I don’t think she’s quite ready to shower on her own (although we could try and she might surprise me). So it seems like the best solution is to dry off, come home, and hop in the bath. That’s fine – it’ll just be rushed and likely require the hair dryer which she hates. Just wondering if anyone has any better ideas or systems as far as post-swim lesson logistics. Weekend lessons aren’t an option in my more rural location right now, so evenings it is! Luckily it’s only once/week.
anon says
Maybe not super helpful, but my 3 year old loves to shower off alone. She’s sort of hilarious about it – she likes long showers! So don’t count that out – I’d try that first!
Pigpen's Mama says
+1
Can she shower at the pool facility? When we switched to kid-only swim lessons it took a few sessions, but she was perfectly fine rinsing off on her own at the pool with reminders from us . She’ll soap up a little, but my main concern is just rinsing off the pool water, I figure she’s been soaking in it long enough that she doesn’t need a through scrubbing. (Then again, as you can see by my handle, I may be too relaxed about that sort of thing!).
Then if she’s already had dinner, I’d pop her in her PJs and get her ready for bed there…
Anon says
With my 17 month old, my husband usually brings her home dried off and we do regular bath time. Two thoughts – you or DH could just take an extra shower with her afterwards, notwithstanding that you wouldn’t ordinarily need it. Or, do bath time at home, and I guess my question is do you really need the hair dryer? I put my kiddo to bed (and myself to bed) with damp towel-dried hair all the time. If you’re worried about tangles and it’s long enough, maybe braid it wet?
Anon says
Fwiw, this was a large part of why we opted not to put our 3 year old in swim lessons yet. Weekday evening classes just don’t work for us – with the time it takes to get cleaned up after the class it pushes bedtime way too late. She’s eligible for a Saturday class when she’s 5 so we’ll wait til then. I didn’t learn to swim until I was 6 or 7 and am now a strong swimmer who loves the water so I’m not overly concerned about it. We live in a pretty cold part of the country, so no one around here really has a swimming pool at their house. I imagine it’s more of a safety issue if you live in California and she goes to playdates at houses with pools.
MRSKBP says
When my 2 children do swimming lessons, I consider the pool as the bath for the night.
Anon says
Uhh what? Chlorine is incredibly damaging to skin and hair if not rinsed out! If your kids take their swimming lessons in a nice clean freshwater lake then this seems like an ok plan. But not a chlorinated pool!!!
MRSKBP says
so far, they have survived.
Anon this time says
I swam competitively through college so my standards may be skewed by decades of chlorine exposure, but….I also don’t care if kid showers/bathes after swim lessons.
Anonymous says
My kids have super blonde hair that will turn green with too much chlorine, so they shower with soap and shampoo after swimming. The kids like to shower by themselves, and our pool has a bank of showers in addition to stalls, so I can stand next to them out of the water if needed to help with shampoo-rinsing They might miss some spots, but fresh water rinse is good enough for me to count it as bathing for the day.
ElisaR says
same with us Mrs. KBP. In the beginning it bothered me but now I’m at the point of “2 kids just trying to survive”.
My 2 bleach blonde boys do not get green hair. I used to when I was a kid but that’s probably bc I was in the pool every day. Once a week….. not an issue.
Lyssa says
We haven’t made a point of consistently washing the kids after swimming (in summer, neighborhood pool), and it’s been fine. My son has crazy dry skin, and it actually seems better when he’s been swimming a lot (though that may just be the seasons).
anon says
Though it may be overall damaging to skin, my sister and I both swear that sun (and saltwater) clears up sensitive skin issues SO well. She has significant eczema and I have mild eczema and just plain sensitive skin. I’ve wondered in the past if it’s the thick sunscreen that helps but have never been able to 100% figure it out. All I know is that swimming/sun generally equals happier skin for us.
RR says
Same, with a quick rinse off in the big “kid wash” shower. Our lesson pool is saltwater if that makes people less pearl clutchy.
shortperson says
i also do not care about bath after pool. dh cared, and then when it became his job he stopped caring. her skin and hair do not seem any different to me during the winter when we dont do swim lessons as compared to the summer when she’s in the pool 2-3 times per week with baths rarely following.
IHeartBacon says
I literally laughed out at: “DH cared, and then when it became his job he stopped caring.” We must be married to the same man. ;)
anon says
Our swim school does not allow opposite sex parents in the locker rooms with the kids, so my 4 year old gets a bath at home. He doesn’t wear his swimsuit to swimming since we go straight from school. After swimming, I put him back in the clothing he wore beforehand. He gets a bath when we get home, before or after dinner depending on when dinner is ready.
Anonymous says
0-1 was easy for us. 1-2 was hell. 2-3 was easier than having 2!
IMO it really depends on the kid you get. My second was (is) a Spitired Child. She’s a crap sleeper, a crap eater, a yeller, and super opinionated. My first and 3rd are way more laid back. With 3, the older 2 just started playing together and leaving us alone with the baby :-)
anon says
out of curiosity – what made you go for #3 if it was so hard?
Anonymous says
we do quick rinse off of pool water in the showers at the pool (no soap). Towel dry hair plus hat. Regular bath and hair wash after dinner.
3 year old swim lessons says
Thanks for your replies! I’ll plan to have her shower there but think I’ll throw some running shorts and flip-flops in our swim bag, so I can assist if necessary without getting drenched. The others are right, I’m sure after a few times, she’ll be a pro. I’m really only worried about her hair getting washed well.
As far as skipping a bath, during non-sunscreen season (in the Midwest), we only do baths 2 times/week. So if she’s going to get wet anyway, I’d like to make the most of it. Obviously we can do something different if it isn’t working, but this seems like a good place to start. I think most kids at our facility either skip or bathe at home after. When we did parent/child lessons, I’d shower with her and the rest of the class would just dry off, change, and leave.
PJs says
If you’re still reading-I used to just pack pajamas and put my daughter directly into those after evening swim lessons (after a quick shower). One less thing to deal with at home.
FP says
Apologies if this posts twice – I have been trying to post all morning. Daycare advice please! We are moving which means we have to find a new daycare for my 2.5 year old, which is miserable midyear. Not interested in a nanny because he’s been going to a wonderful daycare center since he was 4 months old, so he’s used to the structure/routine/other kids. Option 1: large chain daycare, very clean and nice, excellent facility, not convenient at all to my office. Most similar to the one he’s leaving in terms of size / number of kids. Dropoff won’t be too bad, but pickup means 2 miles in traffic then turning in a new direction and sitting in that traffic. Commute home would be close to an hour from me walking out the door of my office to arriving home with kiddo. Option 2: church daycare, seems clean and nice, older facility (not as many windows), very small – one class per age group, 3 blocks from my office. Commute home would be about half the time compared to Option 1. What would you all do? Option 1 is my gut choice but maybe Option 2 could work, it would just likely be a rougher transition?
anon says
Option 2. Option 1 sounds like a pain that will become very draining over time. Your kid will adjust just fine to a smaller center; I’d probably be more concerned if they were moving from small to large than the other way around.
For two years, we had to use the out-of-the-way daycare option. We made it work and we liked the center, but I can’t tell how much easier our lives became when our daughter was able to move to a place right in our neighborhood. Having daycare close to either work or home is a game-changer, IMO.
Anonymous says
You don’t mention the quality of care, the interactions you have observed between staff and kids during visits, or the schedule and activities. Those would be the primary factors in my decision.
My daughter went to a small university-affiliated day care in an older building with few windows and one small class per age group. Each class was like a little family. The kids spent a ton of time outdoors and went on walking field trips all over town. The “curriculum” was entirely play-based with no worksheets. It was amazing. She was so much happier there than she was at the brand-new chain facility where we had to switch for her final year of day care, where the teachers had to follow a rigid and boring corporate “curriculum” full of worksheets.
Anonymous says
My kids daycare has basically no windows. They are amazing and gonoutside all the time and have 2 big gym spaces.
My preschooler goes to a beautiful school with many windows. And this year her class is in the basement- no windows. They are outside 2-3x/day, the walls are covered in art, they go around the school all day long. I asked her if she missed them and she was like huh, I never noticed.
Anonymous says
I’d do Option 2 but make a point of getting outdoors with kid using the extra commute time.
HSAL says
I’m generally going to choose the convenient option, but does the church daycare have to follow the same state licensing restrictions as the chain? In my state, there have been multiple incidents in recent years at faith-based daycares. I went to a church preschool and I’m not opposed to them, but I think it’s important to know.
FP says
Yes – they have to follow the state licensing. Now what if I add this twist: it seems like we would have lots of options in July/August when so many centers move kids up, meaning we would have the option to move him to a center that would normally be our first choice but is full right now and we can’t enroll midyear. Would you all definitely choose the more convenient church daycare, especially knowing we could move him in the summer? Or would the shorter time frame mean that you’d be willing to tough out a bad commute situation? I feel like this is an LSAT question or something.
HSAL says
Definitely church daycare then, whether or not you move in summer.
Anon. says
Yeah, this actually is more of an argument to me to go the convenient route. Maybe the transition is difficult for him and you know that and you move to 1st choice this summer. Maybe the transition is awesome and he thrives even more in this setting and you keep the convenient option.
mascot says
+1 for church daycare since nothing about the other daycare sounds particularly convenient. IME, our church daycare moved kids up based on their age/readiness for the next classroom. Which at 2 had a lot to do with potty training. There may be some standard moving when you get to the oldest class and kids are going off to pre-k programs, but I didn’t see it, nor did we suddenly get called off waitlists for other centers.
SC says
Any advice for indoor activities with a 3-year-old during a cold 3-day weekend?
We have no plans this weekend, and I’m feeling more dread than excitement about 3 days at home with my kid (who, admittedly, swings between adorable and extremely challenging lately). Our area rarely gets cold, so most kids’ activities are outdoors. Also, my kid has some issues with aggression, especially biting, so we can’t take him to any indoor play places, etc., for now.
FP says
When it’s freezing / raining out I make a big deal of taking my toddler with me to Costco, especially on a weekend when they sample all kinds of food. He thinks it’s a big treat to try all of these new foods with tiny forks and it gets us out of the house. We also get a slice of pizza after we finish shopping. Sometimes we go into the tire area and count the tires. As I’m typing this out it sounds ridiculous but it works for us!
Anonymous says
A big roll of paper, paint, and some brushes (which may or may not be used). Perhaps a trip to the library (not a kids program) where you’re right by his side and preventing much interaction with other kids. Baking cookies or something else. Maybe with some to decorate? My 3 year old got some Melissa and Doug scissors for Christmas, and will spend more time cutting random sheets of paper than any other activity. Play Doh. Clean the house (our kiddo loves to dust and clean the windows with glass cleaner). Bath crayons, a squirt bottle, and a long bath. Family trips to Starbucks. Grocery and/or other shopping. Special movie.
octagon says
Do you live near an airport? Go and watch the planes take off and land. Talk about the colors on the airplanes, look at the baggage handlers moving the suitcases, etc. Great people watching too. Have lunch in a cafe and spend some time there. (I admit I really like doing this with my kid — every other time I’m at the airport I’m in a hurry or focused on getting somewhere!) Also works for train stations.
SC says
Love this idea! We are near an airport, and my kid loves watching airplanes when we travel. I’ll have to think about whether there are any views of the planes from the pre-security side of our airport.
Mama Llama says
Bundle up and get outside for a little while. We go out in rain, snow, and cold but not windy/sleety-type weather. Another thought – is there a train station or airport or something near you where you could go watch trains or planes from indoors? Or just riding around on a bus or subway.
Anonymous says
My kids have been spending hours making pillow forts/pirate ships/”nests”/etc lately. Agree you should bundle up and get outside even if for a little while. My kids go bonkers if they are in the house for too long.
Anon says
Our wonderful nanny is leaving in a couple of months and we’re thinking of making the daycare transition at that time. My DD will be 16 months. My biggest concern is the schedule. I have a weird night owl kiddo who has always slept from 8 or 8:30 pm until 8:30 or 9 am. To drop her at daycare and get to work by 9, we’d have to get her out the door around 8:15 and I feel like that would require waking her up by 7:30 or so to get her fed and dressed. That would be a pretty huge adjustment to her schedule (and to mine, honestly – I need more sleep than most people and love sleeping until 8 am). She’ll adjust to an earlier schedule with an earlier bedtime and not wind up chronically sleep-deprived, right? I know she needs to be in a school-like environment sooner rather than later, but I also know that if she’s anything like me, it’s going to be a big struggle for her to wake up for school from K-12, so I feel bad forcing her to wake up early when she doesn’t really have to. Anyone else have night owl kids and can tell me more about your morning routines with daycare or how it’s worked putting them on an earlier schedule?
Argh Childcare says
I’m due with first baby in March, will need full time childcare in June-ish. I thought we had a spot at a center, but it turns out several families with older siblings already attending are jumping ahead of us on the list and there’s no spot left for us. Center #2 isn’t returning my email/call so that doesn’t seem to bode well for getting off their waitlist. Those are the only two centers conveniently located that also get good inspection reports (in my state – Maryland – you can look up the inspection results). We don’t have any local family, so that’s not an option for short term care.
So it seems our options are:
1. Expand our search to centers much farther away – but I really don’t want to add a ton more time to commutes for dropoff/pickup, plus it seems unlikely we’ll get a spot since it’s relatively short notice at this point?
2. Look at home-based daycares. Husband is for some reason really against this option. I’m not quite sure why – something about not being comfortable with care being done in a stranger’s home. I’d prefer a center, but if that’s not an option, we need something. And the home care would still be licensed, inspected, etc.
3. Nanny. Would cost over twice as much as center care. We could afford it if we had to but would really prefer not to. Also husband works from home 4/5 days per week and I worry it would be distracting for him and/or confusing for baby?
I think I’m largely just venting, but if anyone has any experience with a nanny when Dad works from home, or any resources I can share with husband about home based daycares being just fine, please share!
Anonymous says
We did a home based daycare and loved it. Yes they are still licensed and inspected. The great thing(s) about them: it’s usually cheaper! Especially if youre in Montgomery County MD. your child has a consistent care provider for a longer time and thus builds a strong bond, which is great for emotional development. There are less germs floating around, usually, but providers are also a little more flexible if your kid is on the tail end of a stomach bug or needs Tylenol an hour or two before you pick them up (given that they are medication certified). Also they usually serve home-cooked food which is also from a non-American culture, so my child has a wonderful palate because of it an loves veggies, spicy food, etc…I also liked that my child was with children of different ages so she could learn from the older ones.
Downsides are figuring out backup care if the provider is sick or has an emergency (this is rare), but some providers have references for alternatives or someone set up already.
Anonymous says
Co-sign all of this, have been using an in-home since LO was 5mo. We have had 1 provider sick day (she called mid-day to have me come pick kiddo up) and 1 emergency (her own teenage daughter was taken to the ER).
Just some other notes: mine doesn’t do detailed daily sheets like center-based cares do, but we usually chat for 5-10 min each evening and I get a report on what he did that day (this is not universal – another place we looked at gave each kid a notebook and filled it out w/ their daily intake/output/nap times etc and sent it home each night).
I like that the kids each nap in their own room, because it means LO gets really good sleep at daycare.
In my state I was able to see the name and phone # of the inspector and the last inspection date. I called and spoke to her about both providers I was interviewing to see the history of any findings. Lastly, I spoke to 2 references. Since then I’ve become friendly with two other moms who sent to their kids to our in-home but whose kids are now school age. They’ve remained friends with her and come visit, which I love.
Anon says
Regarding point 3, we have a nanny and DH and I work from home a ton (both academics, so we’re home when we’re not teaching classes). Distraction won’t be an issue before about 6-7 months. They don’t have object permanence so if you’re out of sight they think you’re gone, and separation anxiety isn’t as big of a concern. And after that, it shouldn’t be too big an issue if your DH stays in his home office all day and works. What can be hard is if the parent wants to play with the baby or nurse the baby during the day, but then have the nanny take over in between. Each time you try to hand the baby back to the nanny it’s like the morning hand-off all over again. But overall we’ve found that working from home with a nanny has been good, and it allowed me to continue breastfeeding well past a year without ever having to pump (hallelujah!)
rosie says
Is a nanny share something that you might be able to set up in your area? We really like the set up–and it saves you some money. As a first-time mom, I liked that my husband & I weren’t in it alone–we interviewed and made hiring decisions with the other couple, and it was just nice to have more people to talk through with what can feel like a very daunting decision.
We work from home a fair amount and don’t have a huge place. Not going to lie, it can be tough–the share helps since we split hosting, so there are some days it’s kind of nuts with 2 screaming toddlers downstairs, and other days it’s totally quiet. I don’t think it would work if you didn’t have a door you can shut so you can work. I generally stay in a room w/door closed unless the kids are out (they usually go to the library or a playground in the morning) or napping. If my kid sees me, she can get clingy. My husband likes to have lunch with the kids, but I prefer to just do one goodbye per day.
Anonanonanon says
I use a home-based daycare in the National Capital Region and love it. Here’s how I went about selecting one:
-I browsed the state list of licensed in-home daycares, and filtered by zip codes that would work for me
-I read all of the inspection reports, and filtered based on “violations” i deemed deal-breakers (for me that was lack of/out-of-date background checks or TB tests, dangerous toys, safe sleep violations, improper child-proofing like easily accessible bleach etc. I think my current provider was once cited because the toaster on top of her kitchen counter was plugged in. I can let that slide.)
-I asked for the numbers of parents who currently have their kids there, and reached out to them with questions
-The snow closure policy and hours was also a huge screening tool for us. I was shocked by the number who only operated 8-5, or who closed any time public school closed or delayed. My current one has the attitude of “I’m in my house anyway, so if you feel it’s safe come on over” which isn’t always the case with a larger center
-Other staff. Mine has two additional staff, which is more than she’s required to have, but it reduces the chance of her unexpectedly closing due to illness
I pay $290 a week, which is cheaper than a nanny or sitter and is nice as well.
Anon says
Having a nanny with one spouse working from home is my dream! No daycare germs, no drop off, but fewer of my (admittedly paranoid) worries about a nanny because the person at home can keep an eye on things at first to make sure the nanny isn’t totally crazy or something. I’ve never done it so I don’t speak from experience, but I have a friend who has a nanny and WFH husband and they love it.
Anon says
I didn’t want to use in-home daycare for a few reasons, which may or may not be valid but are at least worth throwing out there. (I agree that there are also some advantages, which have already been discussed.)
My primary concern is that there’s less oversight than a center and less control over who may actually have access to my child — are relatives and friends coming by the provider’s home during the day, and if so, how do I know if they are adequately supervised and someone I want around my child?
I also worry about safe sleep. If I were to use a home based daycare I would want to make sure the provider is not letting the baby sleep in his car seat, putting him on his stomach, etc. That can happen anywhere, but in a center I think it’s less likely just because there’s more oversight.
The bottom line is for home-based care, you really have to make sure you are 100% comfortable with the provider and what’s going on in their home. That’s admittedly true for any child care situation, but I just wasn’t able to get there with a home daycare.
CCLA says
If you really like the center you thought you’d be going to, and there’s a reasonable chance you’ll get a spot within a few months of when you initially thought you’d be starting, I’d get the nanny to bridge the gap and just wait on the waitlist. That’s pretty common in our area, the temporary nature means you’re not bleeding the extra money for a nanny vs daycare long term, and it keeps things convenient without dropoff logistics in those early months back to work. As long as parent in the home during the day isn’t bothered by a temptation to stop work and play with kiddo, and parent has a dedicated space that is separate enough to not be bothered by crying, etc., at that age working from home with a nanny and baby should be nbd – totally harder when you’re dealing with toddlers for instance.
Anon says
If you haven’t been able to get the details of the bad licensing reports from close centers with bad reports, it may be worth doing so. Obviously, some bad reports indicate bad centers. However, my children’s amazing center has a few infractions that are categorized as something like “they put children in harm’s way” for practices that I see as much better than what licensing wanted.
Anonymous says
I am jumping in super late, but we used to live in Maryland and there are a TON TON TON of licensed home daycares. I loved ours, in the Rockville area, and would be happy to give you the name if you’re in that area – post again tomorrow if so. They’re totally licensed, are real small businesses, you can look at their inspection reports, etc. It was such a good environment for our baby!
octagon says
HELP: I have to talk to my kid (3) about stranger danger and what to do if you are approached by someone. It’s been looming in the back of my mind but there was just an attempted kidnapping near us so now I need to do this, like, yesterday. Seeking resources for how to frame the conversation and also suggestions for how to prepare kid without freaking him out (he is already a bit anxious and sensitive and I don’t want this to become A Thing).
Anonymous says
Does your kid go to daycare? They covered stranger danger (except they don’t call it that anymore) in our kids’ preschool classes around 3.
Ours gave parents a heads up and some supplemental materials and discussion ideas. All that to say, use the teachers as a resource, they probably have a good, non-threatening way to address.
We talk less about what to do if someone tries to forcibly take you somewhere, and more about not accepting treats from people you don’t know, getting help from a grown up you trust if someone makes you uncomfortable, who to ask for help if you get lost, and never never going somewhere with a kid or adult (even friends) without asking parents first. We also have a “password” for the kids if we ever need to have someone else pick them up.
shortperson says
we used “the berenstain bears learn about strangers” for this
HSAL says
I know our daycare recently did this, but I’m not sure how they framed it. At home’ve talked about who she should ask for help, but also that strangers should never ask kids for help. Just like how she’ll ask a grownup for help, grownups should ask other grownups.
Anonymous says
What I told my kid at that age: Never, ever go somewhere or get in a car with someone who is not your parent [or grandparent, authorized caregiver, etc.]. Even if it’s someone you know, like a friend’s parent, unless your parent has told you to go with that person. If someone tries to take you somewhere or put you in a car, yell “YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY!” or “YOU ARE NOT MY DADDY!” over and over as loud as possible and fight back (kick, scratch, bite, etc.). If a grown-up you don’t know asks you for help or offers you something like candy, this is a red flag. Adult strangers don’t ask children for help, they ask other adults. In a public place, always stay where you can see your parent/grown-up.
Make sure your child knows who your authorized emergency contacts are. If someone who is not a parent or authorized emergency contact tries to pick the child up from day care etc., the child should tell the teacher “this is not the person I am supposed to go home with” and refuse to leave.
My kid is very sensitive about these things and my usual explanation is: [Bad scary thing] happens sometimes, but it really doesn’t happen very often. You probably won’t ever have to [evacuate a burning building, hide from a school shooter, call 911, fight back against an attempted abduction, report an abusive adult, etc.], but if [bad scary thing] does happen, you will be safer now that you know what to do.
As far as sharing specifics of an actual event: this makes my kid more afraid, but it also helps to drive the lesson home. If the child in the attempted abduction is reported to have fought back, yelled, run to a safe place, etc., I would definitely tell the actual story and emphasize how the child reacted properly and ended up safe.
Anonymous says
Really inane question today – how the h3ll to you clean your stroller. [If it matters I have the uppa baby VISTA and I mean the seat portion, not bassinet / car seat. Now that kiddo eats in / has winter boots on etc. it is getting GROSS. Instructions say handwash. I have wiped it down, but that doesn’t cut it. Do you actually somehow take it all apart and put it through washing machine??? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUGGESTIONS.
Also – struggling today because my company is getting taken over (tomorrow!). Hostile takeover, so no discussions yet on transition. I am really going to miss my job (right hand lady for CFO / CEO) that is lots of work but very flexible, and have no idea what do next… look for “cog in the wheel job” that allows me to be at daycare at 5 pm, look for CFO job that will be a stretch professionally / personally but ultimately WAY more fulfilling…. Thanks for positive thoughts.
octagon says
Hose with narrow spray nozzle.
Anonymous says
Such a good suggestion! Will need to think about sub-zero temp implementation! Thanks.
anon says
Take the fabric off the frame. Use your shower/tub, dish soap, and a stiff bristle brush to scrub it really well. Hang to dry and put it back on the frame. Bring your patience when dissembling and reassembling.
rosie says
Once you figure it out, do you have a stroller bunting you can use once it’s clean? We used a JJ Cole one with our Cruz last year when my kid was tiny. Now, she refuses to be zipped in, but I can leave the (machine-washable) bottom layer on the stroller and detach the top to provide some protection from crumbs & dirty boots, and maybe a little added warmth.
CHL says
We washed ours (pre-2009 vista) in the delicate cycle and it was fine
Anonanonanon says
There’s actually a service in our area that claims to clean baby equipment. They frequently set up outside of the buy buy baby to do demonstrations. Maybe there’s something like that in your area? It never would have occurred to me to google a service if I hadn’t have seen it, is why I bring it up
aelle says
I got my stroller second hand and took everything apart to machine wash the fabric parts and scrub the plastic and metal parts (and then lube all mechanical parts). It’s a lot of work, and I suggest you take pictures throughout the disassembly process as it is not easy to reassemble either. On a day to day basis, I vacuum sand and crumbs, and use a washcloth for stains, but ideally I would do a deep clean every now and then
Big Foot says
I need a pair of work flats that I can pair with navy outfits. I’m interested in a neutral loafer type shoe but my feet are disproportionately large and I find that most flats really emphasize that. I have some pointy toe Rothys that work but I’m looking for something that is a little more dressy. Any suggestions? TIA!
anon says
I don’t have any brand recs, but I think blush pink and silver look great with navy. Also tan/gold/cognac. I like lucky brand flats, but they may not be nice enough for you. I work in a business casual office and they are fine.
anon. says
Steve Madden “Feather” Loafer – comes in lots of colors. Not expensive. Reasonably comfortable.
Anon says
I have a pair of Cole Haan nude flats that are my go to for navy suits, but needed to be broken in and I’m not sure about their fit for a wide foot. I also have been wanting to try LK Bennett as I hear those can be good but expensive.
IP Attorney says
I have the Madewell Frances loafer and LOVE them – I also have wide flat feet and they work great for me. Very comfortable and the leather stretches. I work in a biz casual office and wear them with jeans to dress up my outfits.
AnotherAnon says
My 22 month old has a lot of words, and is working on simple sentences: “puppy night night”, “Da pillow”, etc. However, he’s recently started talking in nonsense sentences, sort of as a game. I parrot it back to him or make up a new nonsense sentence, and he seems to think it’s funny. I’m not concerned – just intrigued. Have any of you experienced this?
EB0220 says
Yes, my 4 year old still LOVES to do this.
EB0220 says
PS. She is super verbal in English, she just finds her own language more amusing.
Anonymous says
My kiddo would do this by “reading” us books. She just used total nonsense babble. I think she did it periodically until almost 2.5.
ElisaR says
yes, i’m not expert but I think it’s fairly typical and a way they learn to make specific sounds. Hearing them repeated back to them is great!
Try to video it if you can…. my 2.5 year old now says “mama you’re annoying” and I miss the babble!
farrleybear says
My 4-year-old loves to do this, too. I have also noticed when he watches Curious George cartoons that he starts “talking” using grunts and animal-like noises:) His dad hates it but I don’t mind it. He’s also very verbal in English when he wants to be:)