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I have to confess — I am moving back in the direction of full-length pants. I was on Team Cropped for a very long time, both because they are flattering on most people (including me), and because it meant I did not have to hem my pants. However, now that it is winter, my feet and ankles are absolutely freezing, and full-length pants do a better job at hiding the fact that I am wearing warm, comfortable shoes. Cropped pants are all about highlighting the fun shoe; full-length disguise the practical shoe. I’ve had good luck with Banana Republic’s Logan fit, and these are made from “bi-stretch” fabric that is supposed to retain its shape and is machine washable. They’re available at Banana Republic in sizes 0–20 in short, regular, and long, and seem to be selling briskly. Right now you can get 50% off your purchase, bringing the navy and black down to $44.25 and $49.25, respectively. Logan Trouser-Fit Washable Bi-Stretch Pant Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Diaper changes says
My 14-month old has been resisting diaper changes the last couple months. Figured it was just a phase, but now seems like it’s never going to end.
She will cry, kick, scream, and try to crawl away. It’s just become a 2 person job in that I will have to pin her down and my husband will change her diaper or vice versa.
I’ve tried giving her a toy or book, which sometimes works but usually not. Or we’ll try to calm her down with a pacifier which sometimes works, but I don’t want to hang onto that trick forever.
I’ve asked her daycare teachers about this and they say that she just lays there calmly. She is very shy at daycare though and a lot more comfortable with us.
Other than that, she’s wonderful, but diaper changes are dreadful. Just a (long) phase? Any other suggestions?
Mama Llama says
Solidarity – I hated this phase when my kid used to do a death roll like an alligator making a kill. I put the changing pad on the floor and pinned my kid down with my leg while I changed her. With pee diapers, I think we started changing them with her standing up around this time, which may have helped.
Spirograph says
The leg pin on the floor was also my technique. It does end eventually (at potty training, if nothing else!).
Anonymous says
OMG this…. getting dressed in the morning is a 20 min battle. Sometimes we play first, sometimes I try to get it out of the way first, sometimes he gets a book / toy / diaper cream / my phone etc, 90% of time he hurls said object across the room and proceeds to roll like an angry alligator. (16 months… started at about 10 months… if anything has escalated in last 2 months). SIGH. Is it bad that it is almost a relief when he gets so mad that he can no longer roll away because 100% of his energy is dedicated to sobbing?
Sarabeth says
At that age, I found standing diaper changes were easier for both of my kids. I think it felt less like an interruption for them. Not always possible with super messy diapers, but it worked 90% of the time.
Law mama says
Same – and often we do them at the window so she can peek out while I change the diaper.
lawsuited says
+1 We switched to standing diaper changes during this phase. We are back to lying down diaper changes so it truly was just a phase.
lsw says
I’m sorry. It’s the worst. We’re still there at 30 months.
Annie says
This may not be the best parenting, but I let her look at google images of things she liked (e.g. choo-choos, puppies) on my phone while diaper changing at that age.
Anonymous says
I did standing changes and gave her jobs to do (“hold the wipes!”) when I had to lay her down for a messy diaper change.
Pogo says
Yes, this phase has been ongoing for us since about 14 months as well. A book or toy sometimes helps, or letting him hold the diaper cream. At night I let him have his sippy of milk while we change him into his nighttime diaper and jammies, and that works well.
In the morning I have not found a tactic that works, today for example I tried letting him play *first* while still in his 10-lb overnight diaper (which strikes me as so gross, but he doesn’t seem to care). I think he protested less, but he was still extremely inconvenienced by needing to be changed and made his displeasure known.
Anonymous says
No real advice here, just want to say, I hear ya! I have a 3 year old and 15 month old and they both went through a phase like this. The 15 month old is still in it. There is a funny video on YouTube of a dad changing his twins on a bed and they keep flipping themselves over and crawling away, and he patiently flips them back over and drags them back across the bed like 10 times. I just think about that video and remind myself that at least I don’t have to deal with two like this at the same time!
Anonymous says
For awhile, we did a video and then phased out the video (he’s 27 months now).
OP says
Thanks all!
Shortperson says
I would try Janet Lansbury’s approach. https://www.janetlansbury.com/2016/01/struggles-with-dressing-and-diaper-changes/
AnotherAnon says
+1 to Janet Lansbury’s approach. It’s counter-intuitive, but it works. I turned to this in desperation when he got too big for me to pin and DH wasn’t available to help me. My one suggestion is, don’t give up if it doesn’t magically work the first time you try it. Consistency is key.
Anon says
We went through this phase to, also at 14 months. For my daughter, her constant meltdowns, writhing and rolling immediately disappeared when we explained diaper change time was going to happen and then we would return to playing or go do x activity. We realized we had not been communicating about transitions and what would come next, so she would freak out that she couldn’t finish eating or playing. Something to consider.
Favorite Swaddle? Favorite Pacfier? says
Everyone seems to say theirs is the best and I have headed down too many internet rabbit holes so help me figure out what pacifier and what swaddle to registry for. Thank you!
Anonymous says
Halo sleep sack swaddle and avent pacificers
Mama Llama says
Halo sleep sack swaddle for cooler weather and Woombie Air for hot weather
Anon says
Another vote for Halo Sleepsacks. My 18 month old still uses a Halo wearable blanket. She never took a pacifier and I wish we hadn’t bought a bunch of them. When she was 3 days old she started sucking her fingers and that’s been her own built-in pacifier.
Anon says
Halo sleep sack and Wubbanubs. (The green pacies with the animals attached.) If your kid likes the green paci from the hospital, then you know to buy the Wubbanubs, but you can wait until you get home to buy it.
Fwiw, I only ever bought the wubbanubs. Each kid got two. My kids used them, regardless of being newborn size, until they were 15-18 months, then they gave them up without much fanfare. Around age 2, they got them back as a lovey at night (along with their Angel Dear lovey, which they had all along) and they still sleep with their “friends” at elementary age.
Anonymous says
I am in team No Paci (3/3 success!) but only because I fear weaning them off it :-)
Anonymous says
You are right to fear weaning them off it!
My oldest is in K and still sucks his thumb. My daughter is turning 4 in a couple weeks. We finally got her to kick the pacifier earlier this year, but recently she’s commandeered one that belonged to her younger brother. We’re going cold turkey no pacis in the house and that gross tasting stuff on the oldest’s thumb on Jan 1 and have warned all of them. It’s going to be a horror show.
As for the OP’s question: My paci kids liked soothies from the hospital when they were infants. I didn’t have great success with swaddling, and each kid liked to be swaddled differently. Don’t put too much effort into thinking about any of this, and don’t overbuy or over-register. Every baby is different; you might as well figure out what works for yours before committing too much $$
Anonymous says
My son refused the pacifier, but I was a big fan of the miracle blanket swaddle.
anon says
we just used the pacifiers the hospital gave us and then my kids stopped taking them. for swaddles, i agree with the Halo because you can also use them as sleep sacks once your kid starts to roll. generally, I loved reading Lucie’s List for registry recs because there are just waaayyyy too many choices
Anon in NYC says
We loved the Miracle Blanket. We used it from about 4 weeks – 12 weeks. It’s my holy grail swaddle. After that, we switched to Halo swaddle/sleep sacks, and then just Halo sleep sacks.
My kid never liked a pacifier – she’s been a thumb sucker from basically day 3.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’ve used the SwaddleMe swaddles for both kids and they seem to work. Our older son still wore the big kig swaddle until recently. Kid #1 used the wubanub pacifier for about 2 months until he found his thumbs. Kid #2 seems to not like any pacifier and just like our pinkies, so I’d suggest buying a few versions and seeing which stick.
Anon says
One of each type of pacifier. My kid loves MAMs, HATES Soothies (used in WubbaNubs), and we didn’t try anything else because MAMs worked. Most of my friends had similar experiences with the ONE paci brand that worked. I do love the Halo Sleepsack Swaddle though (and now use the regular sleep sacks, Halo or Carters)
mascot says
My lactation consultant suggested MAM pacifiers so that’s what we used. FWIW, we used them really early on (under 3m), then he wasn’t interested, then he wanted them back when teething started (6m+).
Delta Dawn says
My lactation consultant recommended MAM, too. She fairly strongly advised against other kinds; she had reasons that had to do with latch, but I don’t specifically remember, because neither of mine ever really wanted a pacifier, as it turned out.
Cb says
Love2Dream zip swaddles. My kiddo never took a pacifier despite the many different brands we offered.
GCA says
Alas, I am team Both My Kids Loath All Pacifiers, but we got some mileage out of miracle blanket swaddles.
HSAL says
We loved the Woombie for our first, and we used the Love To Dream hands up swaddle for our twins. Those are nice because they have convertible swaddles where the arms zip off when they stop swaddling.
None of our kids were ever big pacifier users, but I’d agree with the suggestion of registering for a variety and see if baby has a preference.
Pogo says
I registered for a 3-pack of SwaddleMe swaddles, which got a LOT of use. Kiddo loved them, we loved them.
I also registered for 1 Halo and 1 Miracle Blanket, because I’d heard great things. The Miracle Blanket was too complicated for our new parent brains (my husband: “What about it is a miracle? That you manage to weave the stupid thing into a swaddle somehow?”) and the Halo was too big until much later – like 3 months? – and even then I felt like the swaddle part (which does have Velcro loops to keep it attached to the sack part) would ride up dangerously close to LO’s face and it made me nervous.
However, I do love Halo sleep sacks and used the sack part alone pretty consistently after around 4.5 months when he started rolling. I then purchased many Halo sacks in varying sizes and weights for kiddo’s size and weather.
We used MAM based on a friend’s rec, and LO was cool with them, but he also liked Soothies. I can’t recall when but at some point we ditched all pacis except his Wubbanub which is his main lovey. I think it was actually a gift and I didn’t register for it. I have heard that some kids accept the Wubbanub without the paci, but I have yet to go there (performing a paci-ectomy so to speak). When the ped says it’s time for no pacis at all, I think that’s what we’ll do.
Anonymous says
I would register for SwaddleMes and a bunch of Aventi pacifiers. My kids constantly lost them.
That’s just my opinion on what to register for. Your baby will tell you in an instant what they like/don’t like. Like baby carriers, swaddle preferences and pacifier preferences differ by baby.
Anonymous says
Halo sleepsack swaddle. The fleece one is the most effective. Once baby is escaping, if not ready for no swaddle, with one kid we had success with magic Merlin sleep suit and the other does much better with a Woombie– he really wants his hands together and would wake up to fight the halo swaddle. Pacifiers depend on the kid. One kid would accept the soothie; the other won’t, but likes a MAM. Not all kids get addicted; our older one dropped it by 6 or 7 months. Younger is still tiny so who knows.
Grandparent divorce says
Tips on how to explain grandparents’ divorce to a four-year-old? This was very unexpected, and we don’t expect to be having much contact with grandma (my husband’s stepmother)in the future. Do we say nothing? Wait for our son to ask why grandma isn’t around anymore? They are on the West Coast, and we are on the East Coast, if it makes a difference. We usually visit about once a year.
Anon says
Why do you expect not to be having contact? Unless she’s done something bad to your child, it seems pretty cruel to both her and your son to terminate that relationship.
Anonymous says
The 4 y/o is young enough that it may not be much of an issue. Not sure why you don’t expect to see much of STBX-SMIL but when my now 5 y/o was 2-4 my dad had a girlfriend that was a de facto grandma. They split up and my 4 y/onbasically didn’t notice. They did not live together, though, so it may be a bit different in this case.
Anon says
Both of my parents have divorced their current partners since my kids were born. Just explain they decided not to be married anymore. If 4yo asks, you can say “of course they still love you the same!” If 4yo is a little anxious, he might ask some questions about whether you’ll get divorced or whether they’ll marry other people, etc, and you just answer those when they come. (For the record, I usually say “Nope Daddy is stuck with me no matter what.” or I try to get to the root of the question and say “You know that Daddy and I love you no matter what. No matter what we do or you do or anything that happens. We’ll always always love you.” And that usually satisfies my kid.
At some point I’ll likely have to explain WHY my parents can’t seem to stay married to someone longer than 5 years, but we’ll cross that bridge when it comes up. At least I’m on year 15, so hopefully I’ve broken the curse… (aka had enough therapy to address the issues).
Grandparent divorce says
Thanks all! We expect the lack of contact based on how things have gone so far (the situation is pretty hostile/contentious) but we are open to maintaining a relationship if grandma wants one.
ElisaR updating on the Daycare Teacher's Hat says
guys, i’m an idiot. i’m embarrassed but i have to share this update! The male daycare teacher’s hat was bright red and said “Make America Emo Again” (not MAGA). Sooooooo that’s my update.
Also, I kinda know what Emo means but I don’t really “get” the hat. I’m thinking it’s totally contrary to a lot of the assumptions made yesterday.
CHL says
I love it!
Anon says
HAHAHA! It’s a “thing” now. My teenaged niece was wearing a shirt at Thanksgiving that said that. I didn’t really follow her explanation (I’m an old) but it has something to do with the 90s being cool again. She was also wearing a choker and Doc Martens, btw. I felt personally attacked.
ElisaR says
yeah, i’m old too… that’s hilarious
anon says
I knew I was holding on to my doc martins because they’d come back!
Anonymous says
That is absolutely hilarious. Still probably not work-appropriate, but hilarious.
I think the hat is for a particular band.
Anonymous says
It is a hat for the band The Maine.
ElisaR says
THANK YOU – the explanation continues
Em says
I was wayyyy into emo music about 15 years ago. It stands for “emotional” and refers to all the super sad teen angst music like Something Corporate, Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessionals, etc. Now I want that hat…..
Anoner says
HA this is a wonderful update.
Anonymous says
OMG I love this.
Pogo says
I feel like that’s actually in keeping with what we thought – that it was probably either tongue in cheek or ironic. Which it sounds like it was in a way.
I still don’t think that’s a good call for wearing to work, even if work is having a “fun hat day”. And even more so if you work with children whose parents won’t “get” it!
ElisaR says
if he knew he spawned an internet discussion I bet he would be shocked! That’s the problem with wearing something ironic in front of a 41 year old mom…. (man i’m clueless)
Anon says
Thanks for the update, this made my day!
lsw says
SAME!
Spirograph says
hahaha, I love this update. I hoped no one could really be dumb enough to rock a MAGA hat to work at a daycare, esp 20 miles outside of NYC in a diverse community, so I’m glad to see my faith wasn’t misplaced for once.
Anonymous says
The Elf on the Shelf is one of my “hard pass”
Christmas items. Mama doesn’t have time.
Except…all the other kids in my 5 y/o’s Preschool class have them, and talk about them. So she asked why we didn’t have one and I mumbled something about how they are only sent to houses that santa wants to keep an extra eye on and maybe because her sisters are so little santa doesn’t need to send anyone. Idk.
My thinking is maybe next year santa sends like, a stuffed reindeer to the kids to babysit until Christmas Eve that sits around and doesn’t move or require attention and say we get that instead of an elf.
Other ideas? How did you non elfers talk through it?
Anon says
Pretend you are Jewish or Muslim or something else then your kids would have to handle not having Santa Clause. They can handle not having an elf. Families are different, traditions are different. Your kids will be fine skipping it.
Anon says
I don’t think this a good explanation though. I *am* Jewish and obviously we tell our kids they have no Elf because we don’t believe in Santa and don’t celebrate Christmas. But these kids do! So I don’t think that explanation really works.
Anon says
I think its fine to opt out. Families celebrate Christmas but all do it differently anyways.
– Santa Lucia doesn’t happen in every house
-Saint Nicolas doesn’t come to every house
– Tamales aren’t made in every house for Christmas Eve
– Not every house lights advent candles every Sunday or does an advent calendar
In my house it is not Christmas til you find the pickle hidden in the Christmas tree. Everyone celebrates Christmas but does it in their own way. Your family just doesn’t do an elf.
ElisaR says
i don’t know, my kids are young enough that they don’t expect it. my brother’s kids are older and they got suckered into doing it for the reasons you describe.
Anon says
Similar situation here. “Everybody believes in something different! You know how Maya doesn’t believe in Christmas? We don’t believe in Elf in the Shelf or the Easter Bunny. We all have something special about the way we celebrate our holidays!”
Anonymous says
We straight up tell our kids Santa is not real, that it’s a story grown ups tell kids to make them behave. We tell the kids that we know we can trust them to behave, and that it’s ok for people to believe different things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. My 4yo is fully committed to Santa right now (“No, I know you and daddy buy all the presents but SANTA IS REAL”) but we’re totally meh on the whole thing. We’re also not religious, fwiw.
Anon says
This is my life. My 5 year old has concocted an elaborate explanation about how Santa comes to our house but we (the parents) just don’t know about it. We have always said that Santa is make-believe, but she is not having it.
lsw says
I love this a little. We’re not doing Santa in our house and I’m really fascinated to see how my son will handle it. My stepdaughter did believe it Santa but nondramatically figured it out on her own pretty young.
Anonymous says
Different families do different things! In this house, we don’t do Elf on the Shelf.
mascot says
Yep, this is ours. Repeat as necessary. But, we also do advent calendars (yes plural) and surprises so there is a daily component to look forward to. And we talk that up a lot.
anne-on says
+1. We DO NOT do elf on the shelf. I hate the creepy story, I am not crafty/into moving it around, and when I travel it would totally be on my husband (who would forget). So instead, we told my kiddo first, that people celebrate differently, and we don’t do an elf. I also told him that Santa checks on him for St. Nicholas day (which is also when he gets small toys in his shoes) and so we don’t need an elf. Small toys for St. Nicholas day > elf that moves around so that bought me at least 2 years of peace.
Until this year when he said he still wanted an elf. Sorry dude, ain’t happening. Cue the ‘everyone has different holiday traditions’ speech and lather rinse repeat.
Stay strong!
Anonymous says
Whatever you do, DO NOT give in. My husband, who is wrapped around our daughter’s adorable little finger, guilted me into it claiming he would take care of it, and guess who ended up being responsible for it. Such a pain, so much clutter.
Em says
Our son is too young to ask for one, but my husband already tells people we can’t have an elf because our dogs would eat it and that is what he plans to tell our son if he ever asks for one. Which is also 100% true.
HSAL says
Ha, I was going to ask this question next year. My oldest is 3 so I don’t think they talk about it at daycare yet, but I’m definitely bracing myself for the future. We do advent calendars so I love the idea of talking that up! It would probably be weird to get a dog to avoid getting the Elf, right? Just checking.
anon says
I love the babysitting reindeer idea! I might have to steal that one. My son would love that. And I’m not into elf on the shelf. Aside from giving me an action each night, it kind of looks creepy.
PinkKeyboard says
Santa gave us one and the cats tried to eat it so he had to take it back. They are very familiar with the cats appetite for mice, moles, voles, shrews, chipmunks, squirrels, and rabbits so this is very plausible.
anon says
how do i know if my kid is fussy or waking up in the middle of the night for teething vs something else? my 7 month old who usually sleeps through the night was up crying from 12-1. not constantly the whole time, but she would be quite for a few minutes so i kept thinking she was going back to sleep which is why i didn’t go into check right away. when i picked her up she was very happy to see me and stopped crying, but i honestly didn’t know what to do. we had a baby nurse at the beginning who told us that if they stop crying when you pick them up then nothing is wrong. i changed her diaper, which was wet, but not unusually so. i didn’t know what else to do so i fed her. i first offered her 2 ounces, but she was looking for more and she ended up drinking another ounce and a half. she didn’t seem starving though. how do i know if she was up because she was in pain from teething? i have twins and my son was also very fussy yesterday evening, but was quite content once he ate his last bottle, so does that mean it is not pain from teething? i’m not opposed to giving my kids tylenol, i just have no clue how to know if they need it
Anon says
It’s always a bit of a guessing game. I usually try Tylenol and if it seems to help, I figure it’s teething. 7 months is definitely a common teething age. I’m not sure what the baby nurse meant by “nothing is wrong” but in my experience when they’re teething, they’ll usually stop crying if you hold/feed/play with them. It’s not a horrific pain (like ear infections) it’s just a dull unpleasantness that interferes with sleep because sleep is boring. When they have something or someone to distract them, then the pain is not such a big deal.
Fwiw, I’ve heard that teething babies usually eat less but mine always wanted to eat constantly. I think the bottle nipple was soothing on their gums.
Anonymous says
I never had any clue, and it was terrible. It is so wonderful when they learn to talk! I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules; every baby is different, they change constantly, and you just have to try different things and see what works. This is one reason baby sleep books seem so much more sensible and fool-proof before you have an actual child.
Anon says
DH and I starting to get back into regular gardening after having our first baby. However, I feel very inhibited by fear I might become pregnant again. We’re 90% sure we’re one and done but I’m 110% sure I don’t want a baby any time soon, both because the thought of becoming pregnant while I still have a nursing infant is utterly overwhelming and also because I’m on a medication that’s contraindicated in pregnancy and I would have to terminate or take a very real risk of serious birth defects. My period is not super regular yet and I’m still a bit chubby from pregnancy #1, so I’m worried that if I did become pregnant I wouldn’t know for a long time, possibly until I was past the window where termination is an option. Long term, DH will get a vasectomy but we obviously don’t want to rush into that or do it until we’re totally sure we’re done having kids. I had a bad reaction to hormonal birth control pills in college. We used c*ndoms pre-baby, but weren’t as scared of an “oops” then because we knew wanted one child eventually and if it had happened a little earlier than intended it would have been manageable. What’s the best option here? Should I try the pill again? IUD? I’m scared of the pain during insertion but maybe I just need to deal with it?
Anonymous says
He can pull out or wear a condom. Both are incredibly effective if done correctly. You don’t have to bear this burden!
Anonymous says
Pulling out is not incredibly effective in the real world. It’s a terrible method of birth control if you really really don’t want to get pregnant.
ifiknew says
Pull out if you do it consistently every single time is incredibly effective. That’s all we did for years and years and when we tried for a baby, thinking, lets just see if it can happen if we don’t pull out once, I got pregnant from that one time. We also rarely ever garden after drinking, so yeah, just make sure your DH is very disciplined if you go this route.
Anonymous says
IUD. It in all likelihood will not be that bad.
Anonymous says
IUD. You’ve already gone through labor, delivery, and recovery. The couple of minutes of discomfort for insertion are nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Cb says
Yup! I was super nervous about the IUD and it was totally fine.
Anon (OP) says
I was induced and got my (very strong) epidural immediately though, so I basically never felt any pain! That’s part of why I’m so scared of the IUD. I know technically I labored and pushed out a baby, but I don’t feel like I actually experienced the pain of childbirth.
Anonymous says
It’s not about your pain tolerance, it’s about the fact that childbirth loosens things up so the IUD insertion is easier.
Pogo says
Correct. My SIL said she literally didn’t even feel it. Your cervix is very different after a baby passes through it.
Anonymous says
I very much felt it when my son was 5; it was much more painful than I remembered when it being when I had one inserted 6 weeks post-birth, so perhaps my cervix had rebounded a bit. Anyway, consider the implant as another option with similar side effects/efficacy but less potential pain (they numb your arm).
LC says
Yup, I have had three IUDs inserted in my life, one pre-kids and the other two after each of my two children. The first insertion was SO PAINFUL. But I literally did not feel the other two. Like, my OB had to tell me she did it or I would not have believed her. It’s the best, easiest birth control ever — go for it.
Nonny says
Once you’ve been through childbirth, it is a lot easier to insert an IUD. Paraguard is not hormonal and effective for 10 years. I felt a twinge and then had light cramping for the afternoon. Also, very easy to remove if you decide you do want another child.
ElisaR says
condoms. no it’s not fun, but that’s our solution.
Anonymous says
This is where we are till DH gets around to getting snipped. My OB may or may not have laughed at me (in a nice way! she and I get along well!) when I told her this was our BC.
Anonymous says
Same here. I was very opposed to going back on hormonal birth control; my body has put in more than its share of the work on family planning. So condoms it was, until DH got snipped
etcetc says
Talk to your OB about birth control options. Post-partum I took Mylan, which is compatible with nursing (not all birth control pills are). I had never taken oral contraceptives either but it turned out to be NBD. Gardening is supposed to be fun! Talk to your doctor.
Anonymous says
Team condoms. But also tell your dr. what you said here. There are so many different types of birth control with varying levels of hormones (not all are an option while nursing, but down the road more options will open up). I was on some that made me horribly nauseous. I told my dr., and she recommended a different kind. I’m not sure nauseous is the same as your bad reaction, but my point is that there are a ton of options if you’re interested, and you might find one that works well. When we were super opposed to pregnancy, we did both condoms and birth control.
Cb says
I think my nursery teacher gift was a hit if anyone needs some inspiration. I brought in a big hamper with nice bagged tea and loads of fruit for the staff kitchen. Cash isn’t a thing here and it looks like chocolate gifts are piling up so I thought fruit would make a refreshing change. It cost about £15 and I’m sure the basket will be repurposed shortly as a baby bed.
Em says
Thanks to the cultural language difference in the US, when I first read this I thought you bought them a giant laundry hamper full of tea and fruit, and was thinking that was a whole lot of tea and fruit :)
ElisaR says
haha me too
Cb says
Haha! I probably should have broad ght that quantity as my fruitarian toddler ate two satsumas out of it en route. Suspect he just hangs out in the nursery kitchen saying “fwoots, peas!”
Anon says
I also had to Google “satsuma”…
potty training twins (argh) says
Background: My dad stayed at home so my sister and I were both potty trained quite late, after we had already turned three. It was just easier for him to change our diapers in the car than send us into bathrooms by ourselves, and family bathrooms weren’t a thing in the 80s.
Present day: I have boy/girl twins who are 32 months. Boy was recently diagnosed with ASD. GT is… maybe ready to potty train, but honestly I’ve been putting it off because a) her brother isn’t ready and b) I was hoping to train in totality instead of day train/night train, as they are still in cribs. Apparently by the time I was potty trained in my threes sometime, I was already dry overnight, so I thought I could shorten this whole ordeal by waiting till they were older and doing BT and GT at the same time.
Now I’m starting to worry that I’m waiting too long for GT? She can tell us when she needs a new diaper (which means she’s pooped). Then she asks to go sit on the potty afterwards, which seems… unhelpful? Some other girls at day care are potty trained, so I know they all go as a group and stare at them while they pee there, and so she gets the concept that poop goes in the potty. And she asks to sit on it at random times for a few minutes at a time, then decides she’s done without going and leaves, which feels like a waste of time on my part since we’re not actively training. I just feel like the only mom on earth who says no when her kid asks to go potty! I wanted to wait a while until she was more competent at clothes and there was a tangible bribe that presented itself– wanting to be a big girl or wanting PJ Mask undies or something– but should I be capitalizing on this now and potty training her alone?
BT, for the record, also likes to sit on the potty but just to flush it and does not ask for his diaper to be changed, although he does usually tell me “yes” or “no” if I ask him if he’s pooped, so I could possibly try to do them both at once… but if anyone has potty trained a boy with ASD I’d love advice.
Basically I’d like to avoid all this till March when we can do a naked weekend and not be freezing, but not if it will ruin everyone’s bladder forever.
DC getaway with toddler? says
Suggestions for a getaway from DC this weekend? We don’t celebrate Xmas and didn’t get our act together to book tickets to see family, but really want to get out of town. Goal is somewhere within 5 hours driving that will be easy with a toddler.
DLC says
Philadelphia/ Brandywine Valley. We just took the weekend and went to the Please Touch Museum and Longwood Gardens with our 7 year old and 23 month old.
octagon says
Luray, VA – the caverns are cool and there’s a car museum next door that is perfect for toddlers.
Penelope says
Florida Space Coast recommendations with a toddler? DH is headed to Orlando to a conference in February and the 2 year old and I were thinking about joining up with him afterwards. We’d prefer not to do Disney this time and have about 4 days. I know almost nothing about Florida but it looks warm and sunny which is very tempting right now…thanks!
Anonymous says
Kennedy Space Center! Also check to see whether there will be a rocket launch during your visit. You can view the launch from the beach; the best viewing location depends on the launch complex being used.
The Blueberry Muffin in Indialantic is my favorite place for breakfast.
Anon says
Preschool just called because my 2yo pulled another child’s hair so hard that several strands came out. I am just devastated.
He has been doing this to his sister at home. We’ve tried to address it both preventing (increasing sensory activities) and responding (stern “No!” and a time-in with one parent for 1-2 minutes). Obviously, this isn’t working. Help!!!!
Anonymous says
There’s a good Daniel Tiger episode about this. The tag line is ‘It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hurt someone.’
We don’t do much screen time at all but for some reason my kids seem to take things more seriously when Daniel Tiger has the same rules.
Anonymous says
This sounds like very normal toddler behavior. Don’t be devastated.
NYCer says
+1000. Don’t beat yourself up!
Anon says
It’s ok, don’t beat yourself up! He’s only 2 and this is normal behavior for that age. He’s learning boundaries. TBH I would be kind of annoyed that the daycare even called, this precisely is the kind of thing that could have waited until pickup. You’re paying them to deal with this kind of thing while you work, after all.
Em says
My son did this around the same age, combined with daily hitting and biting. The daycare he was in at the time told us it was age appropriate, but also handled it horribly – alternating between updating us multiple times a day while we were at work and going radio silent on us, telling us they were going to implement measures to prevent it and then not doing anything, insinuating our child was a sociopath who lacked empathy, etc. We finally had our son evaluated by a child therapist because we were starting to feel crazy for thinking this was age-appropriate and the determination of the therapist was that he was a totally normal, spirited two-year-old and that his current center was not handling the situation well. Needless to say, we found a new daycare – I hope it doesn’t reach that level for you, but definitely don’t beat yourself up over this.
JTX says
If it makes you feel better, my three year old has been pulling MY hair because he thinks it’s hilarious. For example, I’ll pick him up, he’ll grab a handful of hair with both hands and pull while singing “pull your hair, pull your hair.” It always takes a second to set him down and simultaneously get his sweaty little fists out of my hair, during which time he laughs uproariously. I don’t think kids this age are really able to empathize with others yet.
All of that to say, no need to be devastated. What you describe seems like pretty normal toddler behavior. Please don’t let the daycare feel like you have failed in some way because your 2 year old pulled another kid’s hair at daycare one time.
Anonymous says
“sweaty little fists” omg such an apt description.
Anonymous says
Experiencing major mom guilt over my 3 year old needing to go under for some dental surgery due to cavities. It’s due to not being consistent enough about brushing his teeth. We’re all better about it now that he is 3 and we can talk to him and he understands the importance of brushing. Now his little sister is starting to get teeth and I’m worried about the same thing happening. It’s so freaking hard to brush her teeth. She hates it and mostly just eats the rice size toothpaste we put on her brush like it’s a lollipop and freaks out if you try to brush. Any tips?
Anonymous says
I had to pretend there were bunnies in my daughter’s mouth, and the toothbrush was for “bopping” them (ie gently brushing). She thought it was hilarious. It was very labor-intensive, because I had to act surprised and get hyped up about it every single night. But it worked.
ElisaR says
i remember you gave this advice a few months ago and i’ve been using it! (i am assuming it was you!)
it has evolved into looking for deer (there’s a lot of them in our neighborhood) which cracks me up.
also another trick that has worked when he tires of that storyline is counting the teeth.
i agree though — it is so hard and we definitely don’t do it as often a we should
Edna Mazur says
I also want to say I saw this advice and used it! We look for different colored bunnies that we need to scrub. Then I always find the rainbow one at the end in front.
Aly says
My kid hated the toothbrush. I brush my teeth with her just hanging out, no pressure to participate. I also pretend how fun it is. Then, when we brush her teeth I sing a special tooth-cleaning song (it’s something I made up that takes about a minute to get through, just silly words about clean teeth). But we built up to that. Now when the dentist told me I should be flossing a 1 year old teeth… I was like nope.
Pogo says
Ha, we have a stupid made up teeth brushing song too! Glad I’m not the only one.
Anon says
Don’t feel mom guilt. Cavities are heavily impacted by genetics. I was a really bad toothbrusher as a kid (and could be better even as an adult, honestly) and I’ve never had a cavity. DH has been religious about it is whole life and has had a lot of cavities. I naturally have a lot of saliva and apparently that’s protective against cavities. People with drier mouths are more prone to them.
RR says
This. Most kids are hard for teeth brushing and most don’t have cavities at age 3. Unfortunately, some people just have bad teeth genetics. My husband could do everything right and still have problems. I could not go to the dentist for a decade and still be fine. My kids seem to have mostly taken after me, as they are haphazard brushers but we’ve had only one cavity (and that a tiny one in a new molar that hadn’t been sealed yet). Do the best you can (I just resigned myself to the fact that teeth brushing was going to feel like a physical altercation every time), but let the guilt go.
Anonymous says
We brush while kiddo watches her 15 minutes of Daniel Tiger (or whatever the show of the night is) as we calm down to do the bedtime routine. Also, two toothbrushes. Kiddo gets her own, and parent has one. Kiddo goes first and then it is parent’s turn. Using two toothbrushes instead of “taking” hers was a game changer for us.
Butter says
Somebody recommended the Magic Timer app from Disney or something for the iPhone to me, and it’s been a gamechanger. It’s a 2 minute timer with a picture of Mickey Mouse slowly becoming clear with the help of a toothbrush that scrubs away at the picture. After completing a session kiddo gets a virtual “sticker” for the achievement. We’ve been using it for 3 months and my kiddo loves it and asks for it every night. Not always a perfect brush session, but the consistency, timing, and tracker part of is really helpful.
Em says
If you aren’t already using an electric toothbrush, try one. It was a game changer for us. Our son went from screaming and fighting us to sitting there completely still and willingly letting us brush his teeth for a minute or longer.
Spirograph says
Three suggestions that have worked for us:
1. There’s a Raffi song about brushing your teeth. My kids and I brush and sing at the same time, which is messy and ridiculous, but they like it.
2. I let them brush, and then it’s Mommy or Daddy’s turn. They have to say AAAAHHHH so I can get the back teeth and EEEEEEE so I can do the front teeth. Who can be the loudest? If you bite the toothbush, you’re disqualified.
3. We have toothbrushes in both bathrooms, so they can choose where to brush. The downstairs toothbrushes blink colored lights for 2 minutes or whatever the recommended teeth-brushing time is. The kids like to turn off the bathroom lights and close the door and do “spooky brush teeth” in the dark.
(+1 that cavities have a strong genetic component. Try not to beat yourself up over this!)
Pogo says
+1 to toothbrushes in both bathrooms. Morning we brush teeth in the high chair before you’re allowed to get down and play. The containment of the high chair is helpful (while it lasts)
Coach Laura says
I had the same issue (without the surgery) where my kids’ dentist made me feel really guilty. And agree it’s largely genetic.
But at one point we lucked out and saw the keepers at the zoo brushing the elephant’s teeth with this huge toothbrush. It was darling. We took a photo and after that we were the zookeepers brushing the baby elephant’s teeth and she let us. Then she would brush ours. Hilarious. If the Daniel Tiger or other ideas don’t work, maybe a zookeeper video would?
To shop or not to shop says
I recently had my first baby and am still BF and slowly working on losing the weight. There are certain work clothes I love (various brands) that are all on sale now. Wise to stock up assuming I will be able to wear them again in a few months or will my shape be so different that said clothes will not be my favorites anymore after I get back to normal?
Anonymous says
Its never wise to buy clothes that don’t fit. Store clothesthat don’t fit you in the store
Anon says
I weigh 5 pounds less than I did right before becoming pregnant and none of my old clothes fit. Your shape changes a lot and I wouldn’t count on being able to get back into your clothes. For me, my chest is bigger and my hips are a lot bigger too. I had to basically buy a new wardrobe. Definitely don’t buy clothes in your old size hoping to eventually fit them.
Anon says
This, and I’m 20 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. The hips and rib cage, bleh – not only am I a different size, but different cuts are more flattering than others (see c-section pouf and super toned arms from deadlifting my 30 pound toddler). And I am resisting buying new clothes knowing we want to get pregnant again in a few months, so it’s just bleh. I’ve bought a few dresses I think will work for early pregnancy (the bloating makes me so uncomfortable) and I’m trying to find a new bra that fits right so I can maybe stop wearing the nursing ones a month after weaning, but that’s about it.
Anonymous says
Struggling to resist the temptation too. Don’t do it; you’ll kick yourself if they don’t end up fitting.
Anon says
If it’s in the budget, would buy some of your favorites in your current size. I recently did this (I have a 4 month old) and I feel soooo much better having clothes that fit me as I am. Maybe they won’t fit in a few months, but in the meantime I figured I have to live life.
ElisaR says
i’ll be the voice of dissent here…. i’m always good for making excuses to shop. If it’s flowy and something you’d wear normally i would buy it! I am living in my joie silk blouses these days (post partum and having trouble losing my last 15 pounds). Then again if you’re still BF you don’t want to wear silk near the baby!! I would also argue for stretchy waist pants. I just am not losing weight so i’m glad I own them.
OP says
OP here – Thanks all, very helpful! I will hold off until I go back to work in Feb and buy clothes that fit me then. Also as I do plan on being pregnant again at some point, I am sure I will use them as I go up and down in weight.
My bra rec would be third love.
Also will look into the joie silk blouses as I will probably stop BF before I go back full time!
ElisaR says
there are good prices on the joie blouses on nordstromrack.com!
Tired of giving in after arguing says
My husband was a huge jerk to me this morning and this is one of those rare cases where I didn’t do a thing wrong. I figured he’d reach out this morning, soon after calming down, and he hasn’t. I want to reach out and apologize – but I also am always the one resolving things, whether it was my fault, both of our faults, or his. I just am more affected by having argued/fought, and as a result almost always extend the olive branch.
He was a big enough jerk – really thoughtless, snapping at me for something that wasn’t my fault, and then not saying a word our entire shared commute in – that it just feels cruddy and almost degrading to be the one trying to resolving things. I feel like I should have some dignity, for goodness sakes. At the same time, this is just weighing on me, and reallyi mpacting my day. I’m also 6 months pregnant, so hormones are getting in the way too. Any advice on building some resilience?
Anon says
What? Your husband was a huge jerk and snapped at you for nothing, and you want to apologize? Therapy to figure out why you have this instinct to apologize instead of demanding an apology you’re rightfully owed.
Anonymous says
Oh yikes, in all honesty, I have no idea why I wrote that i wanted “to reach out and apologize” – rather, I just wanted to reach out. But I felt like even just reaching out was being conciliatory and I shouldn’t have had to take that role.
Thanks for the advice regardless!
Anon says
I feel like this happens with DH and me too. I don’t like the ongoing conflict so I try to make up even though it sometimes feels like I’m letting him off the hook.
Have you tried telling him, calmly and as nicely as possible, essentially what you said here? Being the peacemaker is a different thing than apologizing.
OP says
That’s really good advice. I haven’t tried doing that – thank you.
PinkKeyboard says
I’ve been known to call and be like “Hi, so you were a huge d**k this morning and you’re ruining my day, any chance you’d like to talk about why I shouldn’t bury you in the backyard?” But I also speak like a shipyard worker and have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
OP says
This is awesome. I think if I used this approach I wouldn’t feel like I was somehow giving in and letting him off the hook. Thank you.
Anon says
“I also speak like a shipyard worker and have the emotional range of a teaspoon.” Hahahaha this made me laugh out loud!! That’s me too.
Anon says
+1. Ha ha I’m you as well. I’ve also said things like “Hi, I love you, but the first words out of your mouth better be an apology. And not a half a$$ one like ‘I’m sorry if I was a D’ but a real one where you actually admit you were a D for no reason. K go.”
ElisaR says
also- he owes you a backrub. you’re growing life, he needs to be supportive.
OP says
That is sweet of you, you’re right :)
Anonymous says
He should for sure apologize, but also – you don’t need to let it impact your day. This took me a couple years of therapy, but I learned that his being tired, cranky, insecure etc and snapping at me was about him, not me (even if I had done something wrong, it’s never ok to snap – he wasn’t handling his own emotions). Once I accepted that, it made it so much easier to not let it affect me.
If it happens again, I’ve also tried diffusing in the moment with humor and it has worked amazingly well. One weird little trick we both do to each other is if one person is short or overly critical with the other in a demeaning way is the other person will repeat the rude thing in singsong-y voice (it’s hard to describe… I don’t even remember how it started!). It’s become our inside joke/code word to the other person that “Hey, you are being an unreasonable jerk and watch yourself.” Plus we always laugh because once you say something in a silly voice it sounds ridiculous, not mean.
OP says
That’s super cute. Thanks for this kind advice – I will try it!
lsw says
This really stuck out at me: “this is one of those rare cases where I didn’t do a thing wrong”
I’m not trying to do the Corporette TM Jump to Therapy, but that phrase bothers me. This dynamic is not going to change for the better after the baby is here. I would start with having a really frank and serious conversation with him tonight where you explain how you feel, how you have felt this history of always being the person to extend the olive branch, and how it concerns you that he didn’t reach out to you today. And then ask him how he feels and about his response. If he responds aggressively or defensively, I’d try to push past that and get him to really listen and respond. I don’t know if you already have kids but having the baby is going to create a lot of situations where you might do things differently than each other and might have some situations that need apologies, so I suggest having some conversations about this dynamic now. Hugs.
(I’m sorry in advance if this is a little cloudy, I’m home on migraine dru gs today that make me a little thick.