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When our kids started daycare, their bottles needed to be labeled red for breast milk, and some other color for regular milk.
Amazon to the rescue! We ended up with something similar to ChromaLabel’s 3/4-Inch Clean Remove Color-Code Tape. It comes in a rainbow of colors (including the required red), removes cleanly from most surfaces, and according to the comments, lasts several rounds in the dishwasher.
We’re still on our first two rolls of tape and have used it to label school supplies and snack boxes and even hang up our kids’ art.
A 500-inch roll is $5.99 at Amazon. A 1/2-inch-wide/500-inch roll is also available.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
I feel like my marriage is really starting to suffer from the state of everything. We’ve been married about 4 years now and have an almost 1 year old. I have nothing to say to my husband. I feel resentful about how much time he spends on his hobbies and I’m usually so worn out and busy. We keep re-hashing the same argument over and over.
Part of me wonders if it’s our relationship making me unhappy or my unhappiness hurting our relationship.
Not really sure what I’m looking for here. I know there have been a ton of posts lately about being burnt out, and I think I’m hitting that point.
Anonymous says
So two thoughts- one, if you want to save your marriage go to therapy now. Two, leave the house. He doesn’t just get to Nope out of parenting for a hobby but you don’t.
blueridge29 says
Therapy is a great idea, even if it just helps the two of you have productive conversations instead of falling back into the same argument. If it helps, I think the 1 year point after having a baby is a tough time, there has been so much change and my body/soul was pretty won out at that point.
Try to find something you can leave the house to do – pilates, coffee, window shopping, snuggling with rescue puppies/kittens – whatever you pick will help. I have found that my partner is a wonderful parent, but when I am home everyone defaults to me – so getting out of the house is essential if I want a true break.
No Face says
For me, baby’s first year is incredibly difficult and you did that year in a global pandemic! I also think most people have faced severe burnout because of the pandemic. January and February were incredibly difficult months for me. I was just spent.
If you are worn out and busy, you need rest. Sleep as much as you can. Do the minimum at work. (I billed less than 90 hours in Jan and Feb.) Drop some household responsibilities. (I normally cook every day. Jan and Feb was all premade food from the Costco deli and bags of salad). Figure out a hobby that you enjoy and do that. (I started reading novels for two hours every night. You may be more interesting than me). Hire a babysitter if you need to. If you’re nursing and pumping, consider weaning. Take care of yourself!
After you’ve done all that, then think about the state of your marriage.
Anonymous says
Ugh, I’m sorry. Kid <1 is a tough time for any marriage, and adding a pandemic on top of that is just a lot. I think talking with a therapist would be really helpful in sorting out and addressing whatever the cause of the unhappiness is, but I will say that for me, my burnout is hurting my relationship with my husband (and I need to take my own advice about therapy).
A month ago, my husband started talking weekly with a therapist about his own burnout and work stress, and it's helped both of us. I had gotten to the point where I just didn't have the bandwidth to be a good, supportive sounding board, and it causing a rift. After a year+ of not being able to lean on all the outside support we normally do, inserting a third party to do some emotional labor was amazing.
Anon says
Are you resentful he is spending time on hobbies bc you are being left doing the childcare or bc he has the energy to spend time on hobbies but you don’t? Honestly, our marriage is not exactly at its strongest right now. We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 9 with two toddlers. We’re both just bored, antsy bc we haven’t gone anywhere and have very different risk tolerances when it comes to covid. Hang in there.
Anon says
Same boat with the very different Covid risk tolerances. It’s really hard.
Anon says
Same. Us both being vaccinated has helped a lot because I am now a lot more comfortable with some of the things he wants to do but it has been a constant negotiation and I am always the “bad guy” because my risk tolerance is so much lower (and his should be, since we are both high risk).
Anonymous says
Are you really high risk once you’re vaccinated though? Unless your high risk condition involves having inadequate immune response to vaccines, you aren’t any more.
Anon says
Ah that sounds tough. We’re not high risk and I’m the less cautious one, although still very cautious compared to the general public. I actually think being vaccinated has made things harder for me. I was willing to basically live like hermits until we were both fully vaccinated because it was a clear end point we knew would get here sooner or later, especially once the trials returned successful results in November or whenever it was. But it’s been really hard for me that getting vaccinated hasn’t changed much. He’s now willing to do a couple of things we didn’t do before, like outdoor dining, but it requires so much planning and twisting his arm that it’s not any fun for me, so we’re still basically living life like we’re unvaccinated.
Anon says
Being vaccinated has reduced the disputes a lot. You’re right we’re probably not high risk now that we’re vaccinated, but our daughter is obviously not vaccinated (acknowledging she is low risk), and the vaccines are not 100% effective and there is concern about variant effectiveness further lowering that. I am battling some autoimmune issues at the moment which make me nervous about my health generally. It looks like breakthrough cases are for the most part mild which is encouraging, but until we have more data on that I’m not yet willing to eat indoors (especially with our daughter) or go to a massive party or get on an airplane with our kid (solo I could probably get behind), but I am OK with smaller indoor events with people we know have also been vaccinated and anything outdoors that isn’t crowded. DH is all ready to go out to indoor crowded bars and restaurants and basically resume life as it was before completely and chafes every time he has to wear a mask (which is required by our state) because it’s not a “real virus”. As it is every time we go out together I am constantly nagging him to wear the mask properly while our daughter has no problems wearing hers. I’m frankly still shocked he didn’t put up a fight about getting vaccinated, but I didn’t really present him with an option, just signed him up.
Anon says
to the Anon at 11:15- we should trade spouses bc i’m more like you’re husband and mine is more like you. this whole thing is just complicated to navigate bc there is no “right” answer
Anon says
Well I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who thinks it’s not a real virus or doesn’t want to wear masks. And I have no desire to return to crowded maskless indoor events even now that I’m vaccinated. But I would like to do outdoor activities without panicking about whether someone is 5 feet or 8 feet away or whether someone near us is wearing their mask wrong. It’s a spectrum of risk for sure, but from what you’ve described I think I’m closer to you than your husband.
Anonymous says
You don’t need your controlling anxious husband’s permission to live.
Anon says
You’re right and to his credit, he’s not trying stopping me from doing anything I want to do. I think if I wanted to go out to crowded bars he might be uncomfortable, but like I said I have zero desire to do that. But it’s hard not having a partner for many of the things we used to do together, especially without an end point in sight. Before the vaccine we had that as a goalpost on the horizon, but now I’m not sure what we’re waiting for. His concerns are not about our unvaccinated child, fwiw, so kids getting vaccinated won’t change anything (although I definitely want to vaccinate our kid ASAP for her sake).
Anonymous says
@11:47, will his employer force him back to the office at some point? That return to normalcy may force his hand some and wear down some of his concerns.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s fair to call someone who is reluctant to do outdoor dining “controlling and anxious.” The reality is that a deadly and disabling virus is still circulating widely, with variants against which our vaccines may be less effective. Not all outdoor dining situations are well-distanced, and sheltered “outdoor” dining areas tend to have poor airflow. Eating out is not essential and is on the riskier side.
When it comes to safety, the less cautious spouse should generally yield to the more cautious one. For many years, my husband refused to wear a ski helmet. He now wears one not because he really thinks it’s necessary, but out of respect for me. Similarly, the poster with the cautious husband needs to back off and stop pushing him to eat in restaurants, even if she thinks he’s being a little silly. His fear is reasonable and if she has respect for him, she needs to accommodate him even if her risk tolerance is difference.
Anonymous says
If you and your spouse are fully vaccinated and your spouse wants to eat outdoors, and you are inclined to say no, you need help for your anxiety.
Anonymous says
First, give yourself some breathing room because the past 18 months have been awful. For everyone. I’ve been married for 12 years and we have 3 kids. Our marriage was not in a great place when the pandemic started (maybe a 5/10? Like…I wasn’t ready to divorce him but we didn’t have much s3x, we were always bickering, I had gone through the thought exercise of what life without him would look like [but didn’t really come to a conclusion one way or the other]). Then the pandemic hit. At first, we banded together and did really well- maybe things were like a 6/10. Then the long, hard part set in and things got really bad. Maybe 3-4/10? He felt this way too. We fought all the time, never left the house, were driven mad by our children. But at some point, I think maybe Nov/Dec of this year, DH had what he later referred to as a mini mid-life crisis. I guess he did a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching and he just….changed. Like became so much more helpful/ willing to help/ take initiative/ split the burden of Family Life. Which made me happier. Which made him happier. Which made us happier. Then things started to slowly open up again and I would say we are back in a really good place. Probably as happy as we’ve ever been.
I know what changed for me was really seeing him put in an effort to make things better. I’m not exactly sure what changed for him other than he has gotten so much better about being flexible and taking initiative to keep the house/household from falling apart. (Emptying the DW if he gets up early, throwing on pants to walk the kids to the bus if i’m still in the shower, texting me that he has a free 30 minutes did i have anything planned for dinner or should he forage around and get something going, blocking time on his calendar to take the kids to school in the AM, etc)
Mary Moo Cow says
My marriage was in a trough post-babies and then seemed to turn a corner after the one year mark (looking back, it could have been weaning, or hitting longer streaks of sleeping through the night — me, not the baby, because I finally wasn’t anxious about death while sleeping. It took some work to climb out, and mid-range of the pandemic was the lowest I’ve felt. What has helped me is: committing to gardening 3 days a week); going out to lunch with DH once or twice a month; asking to have a hours to myself in the house once a month or so; blowing off work for a few hours to do household chores or wander Target; shutting down conversations about politics or the virus because I’m sick of talking about it; venting A LOT to my BFF over the Voxer app; talking to my therapist about my relationship with my kids so I’m not only talking to DH about it. The number one thing, tho, was having a few come to Jesus meetings with DH about the state of our relationship and my mental health, burnout, resentment.
This is just to say: one year post-baby is tough. Give yourself some grace but also act on your feelings that something needs to be done.
anon says
One thing I learned to do is make sure I do 3 things that bring me joy, every day. This makes me much happier, which, lets me see if it’s a me problem or a relationship problem. Usually, I try to list these in the morning, e.g., today I want to read a chapter in that book, go for a walk in the nearby park to enjoy the sun and tulips, and call my sister. Doing this vastly increases the chances I do things that make me happy. And, I suspect will let you negotiate with your husband better, and start saying things over breakfast like :”Great, have fun doing hobby tonight. After dinner I’ll escape upstairs with my book for 30 minutes, then I’ll take the baby on a walk once you leave.”. (This is the type of sentence I would have to practice saying before actually saying it, because I am not actually so confident about being able to casually tell him he’s in charge of the kids. But, if he’s doing hobby, I can too!). Also, yes yes yes on getting out of the house!
Anonymous says
I’ll also add that both kids took a hit to our marriage. And I tell everyone that’s about to have a baby that it may happen to them and totally take you by surprise. It got better after a year and significantly better at 18 months with both kids. A lot of it was sleep deprivation, some of it just gender norms with my DH just doing what he needed/wanted to do and I felt like I didn’t have a choice. We have felt a LOT of stress relief with getting vaccinated and being able to do more stuff. Variety is the spice of life! I also feel like sometimes we have nothing to talk about but that’s ok. We try to talk about non-Covid interesting news stories (The Atlantic long reads can be good for this) or fantasize about what we’ll do during our child free vacation.
Oh mom says
First few years is always rough. Priorities are different, not sure if it is gender norm thing as I see some men more involved in parenting. My husband has not changed how he spends his time after 10+ years. The end results is that my kids listen to me better, they behave better if I tell them to, they trust me and want to talk to me more, they want to kiss and hug me more. My husband is now jealous that my kids favors me over him. Relationships take time! Now I see my husband as third kid so I don’t feel so resented. We had many talks between my husband and I, been to counseling but the changes only lasted a month or two.
Anonymous says
I’ve often gotten the advice that you shouldn’t make any huge life changes, if you can help it, in the first year of your first kid’s life. It’s just such a tumultuous time, with so many changes and so many new things for everyone to learn. Plus all that stuff about spouses sharing the burden etc etc can be hard to actually implement when LO is more emotionally and physically dependent on mom. I’d try setting some new habits/ norms now, and then reevaluate when LO is 18 months. Hang in there, and give yourself something to look forward to every week! For me right now that’s watching Top Chef with a glass of wine on Thursdays, because COVID. It’s not great, but it will do.
Anonymous says
Yes, all of this. It’s like sometimes baby just needs mommy and it’s hard not to feel resentful!
Anonymous says
This is one of the reasons why if I could go back and do it all over, I would have fed formula from day 1.
Pogo says
Life right now with the pandemic and big jobs and small kids is just a constant state of crisis management. I don’t think anyone is feeling amazing about their marriage right now. DH left this morning with an “OK bye” rather than an “I love you” and a kiss – we were both at our wits end with everything going on.
What does help – yes, have your own hobbies even if that is going for a walk. Have your husband have his own 1:1 time with LO (my husband takes our older son biking, for example, it is a hobby they share). Reconnect by watching the same show that you can both sort of enjoy, having kid-free time to relax on the weekends. I think the key is to at least be able to realize you still enjoy your partner’s as another human, despite the fact that 95% of the time the two of you are putting out fire after fire that is disastertown 2021.
Apologize asap if either of you loses your cool – we’ve really both been trying to do that lately to remind the other person we weren’t snapping AT them, we’re snapping at that horror show that is life right now.
signed, just spent my lunch hour on telehealth and rx pickup for 3yo’s allergies because we can’t have him getting kicked out of daycare for snot, while trying not to resent the fact that husband is blissfully at his office in silence getting work done
Booster Seats says
DD will turn 4 in August. She only has about an inch left in her current convertible carseat based on where her head is in position to the seat with the head piece maxed out (she is 51 pounds and about 43 inches tall with an absurdly long torso but it is hard to get her to stand still long enough to measure). So I expect that by end of summer we will need to be looking at high back boosters, which I thought would be a post kindergarten thing but apparently we grow giants.
We are currently considering the Chicco Kidfit Zip or the Chicco Myfit Zip Harness + Booster. We have the Chicco infant and convertible seats and find them pretty easy to install and washability is key because she gets carsick (although these days she mostly hits the bag rather than the seat cover, thankfully). She does a pretty good job of staying in position in the car but is prone to sleeping on longer trips. The Kidfit Zip has the benefit of a smaller footprint, costs less and is about half the weight, but it is only belt-positioning and doesn’t have a harness. We are buying for 3 cars, although we may just use the Ride Safer Travel Vest in the convertible since the back seats are so, so small and the front passenger (me and DH is even taller on the driver side) has their knees in their chest with the bulky car seat (we successfully used the vest this spring in a rental car and I was really impressed). Any tips, recommendations, other things to consider? Is the harness worth the $120 difference in price or will she outgrow that pretty quickly and be in seatbelt mode anyways?
Anon says
No advice on boosters, but it might be worth going to a professional carseat fitter (in our area, they have them at the hospital and police station) and seeing what they say. My 3 year old is also 43″ with a very long torso (she’s a size 8/9 in shirts but still fits into 4T/5T pants) and we still have several inches between her head and the top of our Britax seat. We also just bought a Cosco Finale for travel and that seems pretty roomy too, and is very cheap for a carseat (around $50). A 3 year old should really be in a carseat, not a booster seat so if there’s any way to keep her in a carseat without spending a fortune, I would be inclined to do it.
Anonymous says
How about the Graco nautilus? I honestly don’t remember the limits off the top of my head but all of my kids can use it- my 3 y/o as a FF car seat, my just turned 5 y/o as a high backed booster and my 7 y/o as a backless booster.
Anonymous says
I love the Nautilus with the harness, but we did not use it as a booster because it was too difficult for the kid to reach the seat belt buckle. We had to buy a separate booster because I was too lazy to buckle the kid in myself.
Anon says
I thought it was only in rear facing mode that the head position is relevant? I thought for FF as long as you were under the overall height limit, it was fine. The height limit on our seat is 49″ and I thought that was pretty standard.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, it looks like our Graco 4Ever has a height limit for the harness at 49″ too. My 5 year old can unbuckle himself from his harness now so we’re planning on keeping him there for now as I think kindergarten drop off will work out ok. He’s around 43″ now too, although more legs than torso I think.
Anonymous says
We have Graco Tranzitions which I think is basically the same – 49” limit for the harness (or when the straps are too low). For the OP, we moved to this car seat at age 3.5 at a similar height to your child and now at 6 years old, 48.5” and 53lb have plans to convert to regular seatbelt mode this weekend. You likely have some time still in a harness- growth slows down and my kid is near the top of the growth chart at 6 while being only 5” taller than yours.
Anonymous says
“Regular seatbelt mode” meaning belt-positioning booster.
Booster Seats says
You’re totally right, I just triple checked our manual and for forward facing, it is the overall height limit or when the ears are above the top of the head rest or the harness straps go below the shoulders, so we likely have more time than I thought. Clearly I need more sleep or better reading comprehension.
Anon says
Don’t blame yourself, it’s super complicated! I didn’t know the thing about the ears but turns out my seat has the same requirement. Fortunately my tall, long-torsoed kid is not there yet.
anon says
It’s possible the car seat will fit for longer than you expect. I swear that between 4-5 yo, my kids mostly grew legs as they grew out of toddler proportions. Their legs just kept stretching.
TheElms says
Silly, but reading this makes me happy. My 2 year old is in 4T tops and 2T pants (still a little big honestly) and it just seems so odd.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 2.5 year old is also in some 4T tops (toddler belly and maybe long arms?) and 2T pants too!
Anonymous says
Graco Tranzitions – forward facing car seat that looks like a booster has allowed all three of mine to stay in a 5 point harness until after first grade. Then it can be used as a high back booster and a low back booster so you don’t need another seat. Priced reasonably and not ugly in black. We have 6 between my car, DH’s car and grandparent car (oldest kid is out of boosters).
anon says
My three year old has long grown out of her convertible seat, but she (and my super tall five year old) still fit fine in a forward-facing five-point harness seat – we have the Britax Frontier (which I think is now called the Britax Grow With You). It’s a good seat, and can be used as a belt-positioning booster once you don’t want the 5-point harness any more.
My 6 year old we just moved to a Diono Monterey XT, which we liked much better fit-wise for our big kids than the Chicco Kidfit (we have them both), although washability was not one of my considerations.
Anon says
I’m a fan of the Chicco MyFit. My 48” tall first grader can still use it in harness mode, which is safer than booster mode for times when staying appropriately positioned with just a seatbelt is tough (tired, silly, etc). I haven’t used in booster mode yet.
Leatty says
What’s the going rate for a FT nanny in the NYC burbs? I’m considering throwing my hat in the ring for a promotion (and have a decent chance of getting it), which would require relocating to the area from my MCOL city, and I’m trying to figure out whether it is feasible with two little ones. My kids are (almost 4) and 8 months, so we will need childcare for some time. My kids are currently in daycare, but I don’t see how that would be feasible with an hour commute each way.
NYCer says
In NYC, I would say the rate for two kids is somewhere in the $20-25 per hour range. Likely a bit more if you are paying on the books. I imagine the rate would be similar in the close-in suburbs. And FWIW, it is definitely harder, though not impossible, to find nannies in the NYC area who want to be paid on the books.
buffybot says
This might be wrong but I suspect the going rate for nannies in the NYC burbs isn’t going to be THAT different from the going rate in Brooklyn (especially considering the high demand for nannies lately), so you could look at what Park Slope Parents says. They do an annual survey of pay and benefits for nannies and I recollect that you didn’t have to be a member to look at the results although that may have changed. They have a lot of great resources re: hiring.
Anon says
in addition to the cost of childcare, think carefully about which suburb you move to and the cultural differences between your current environment and the one you’d be raising your kids in.
Anon says
I am in NYC burbs and we pay on the books (attorney and DoD employee, respectively). It works out to $32.50/hour for 40 hours/week. With our employee taxes and the payroll agency monthly fee, our all-in cost is $75K/year.
And yes, it was challenging to find good candidates willing to be paid on the books. The search took longer than anticipated, but was worth it because we found an absolutely wonderful nanny!
AP says
I live in Westchester and would be glad to help with intel if you are looking at this area. Consider where your office is in Manhattan and work from there (if Grand Central, Westchester/CT) if Penn Station/Hudson Yards (NJ). Definitely try to avoid a subway on top of a train
You are right in that day care is tough to make work with a commute. I did a nanny at first and then ended up switching to an au pair and part time preschool at age 2. Not only can it be cost effective, but given the challenges of hiring a nanny (on the books, driving etc) it ended up being a far better fit. They max out at 45 hrs a week so you will likely want to pair it with a preschool program. And b/c it’s live-in, it’s also a lot more flexible.
It can be awful if you don’t get a good au pair, but we are on our 6th year of hosting and it’s been really good for us. The program was disrupted by COVID, and there are some mid term threats to how the program will be classified, but while it is an option, it is a very popular option in this area for a reason. And because it’s a fairly large community, it’s a lot easier for them to make friends.
Good luck!!
Leatty says
Any suggestions would be welcome! My office would be in Tribeca, so there’s no way to avoid the subway.
How much does an au pair run? Are they usually able to drive?
AP says
Tribeca is tough re commute. You’d definitely be looking at New Jersey unless you are open to the outer boroughs. And access to PATH (which tend to be more urban areas) or the ferry. But definitely spend time looking at this. Going via Grand Central (so your northern suburbs) would be a pain. Penn Station is not great but a bit more straightforward (that gives you NJ or Long Island)
Au pairs are ~ $200/week + room and board and agency fees (~$8k I think). And you don’t have to deal with tax withholding. It’s technically a cultural exchange and that was getting hotly debated before COVID just shut everything. You will need a larger place to have space and extra spending on food and common perks like cell phone plan/car access. You can screen for drivers when you are hiring but all the interviews are via Skype/Zoom so you never really know until they arrive.
I have lived abroad and really do like the cultural exchange aspect of it. But it definitely depends on your patience (you need a lot) and willingness to take on a young adult into your household
Leatty says
Thank you!
Anonymous says
$25-30/hr plus benefits. We easily spent $80k/year out of pocket when we had a full time nanny.
Anon says
Does anyone have recommendations for kids’ masks that go behind the ears but DON’T have ear adjusters? We used to love the Old Navy ones but they’ve now switched to selling only masks with ear adjusters (their webs1te still advertises the ones w/o but I ordered them and they came with ear adjusters and when I called them they said they no longer make the original kind). I cannot get a mask with an ear adjuster to stay on my kid’s face. I think it has something to do with the fact that her ear is really soft and folds forward (my husband’s ears are the same way) and the little bead on the ear adjuster pushes the ear forward and causes the elastic to slip off. This happens regardless of whether I set it really tight or loose or in between. The elastic in the masks we purchased a year ago is wearing out and I really need more, but it’s so frustrating after 14 months of mask-wearing with minimal issues to have to be fiddling with my kid’s mask constantly.
SC says
I bought a box of kid-size medical masks at Walgreens. There are no ear adjusters. My son hates masks but likes these a lot better because they don’t feel as damp.
octagon says
We’ve been happy with ones from Gap. Some have ear adjusters and some don’t, just read the description closely.
anon says
If you have a needle and thread you can just remove the bead and put a couple stitches in the elastic at the right size. It only take a minute. I’ve done it for a few masks that didn’t have adjusters that were too large.
Anon says
Or just cut the elastic and tie it off.
Redux says
Agreed, this is an easy DIY fix, especially if you otherwise like the masks.
Denver says
Jaanuu or Hanna Andersson
Anonymous says
Thompson Tees
dc anon says
Here’s a really specific question (sorry for the cross-post) – Do you have middle schoolers in DC? Where do they go? I have a first grader in a DC charter school and will have to lottery in to a middle school. I am trying to research middle schools now in order to figure out where to live. Of course, we can scrape together all of our pennies to move to west of the park to go to great public schools…but what are the other options?
anon says
Honestly, we moved to Arlington. We couldn’t deal with kids starting to disappear to new schools in late elementary and the uncertainty of getting into a reasonable middle school. It seems like some families always lose that lottery and end up hastily moving to avoid their zoned middle school.
Anonymous says
Following with interest — we’re currently zoned for School Without Walls @ Francis Stevens for middle but have several years before we get there. Most of our friends are moving to Montgomery County . . .
dc anon says
Oh wow! I thought that school without walls was a charter. Isn’t that a highly desired middle school?
Anonymous says
So, SWW @ Francis Stevens is a public school where they offer PK3 through 8th grade, and Ross and Thomson also feed into it for middle school. School Without Walls High School is a separate, application-only magnet high school. I haven’t actually looked into it much yet, since our kid is still in preschool, but it sounds like a good one? Most of my friends who are moving to Maryland just want more space I think.
dc anon says
We are at a school that feeds into DCI (but we have to lottery in with a preference). Its all so uncertain, i’m not sure what the plan is. I was thinking that we would apply for the lottery (to DCI and other charters) and if that doesnt work out, look to move that summer in between 5th and 6th grade. Is that insane?! Sounds pretty crazy to me. We are aging out of our current house and are considering moving sooner rather than later (kids are in 1st and preK 3).
Kid Mattress says
Recs for places to buy a twin bed mattress and trundle bed mattress? About to buy “big girl bed” w/ trundle from PB Kids. They have some on their website but not sure if that’s a good or cost effective choice.
AwayEmily says
We got a double pack of foam mattresses from Costco that have been great for our bunk beds. “Juniper Kids Mattress,” twin 2-pack.
Mary Moo Cow says
We’ve had a generic basic mattress from Sleepy’s and an Allswell. We’re really happy with the Allswell, and bought a second one for our other daughter’s twin bed. Tuck dot com usually has a coupon code.
Anonymous says
We got the Zinus Green Tea foam ones on Amazon that were well reviewed by the Wirecutter (for bargain foam mattresses). You can get them in different heights.
2 under 2 says
Help us develop a new bedtime routine. Right now, DD comes home from daycare about 4:50, plays/runs around until dinner a little after 5:00, then plays/runs around some more until bath at 6:00 (we do bath Sunday-Thursday because otherwise she’s dirty and smelly). Right now, after bath we do a bottle then DD goes to bed, but I would like to cut the bottle AND introduce books.
I cut the morning bottle 5 weeks ago and it’s resulted in DD drinking some, but nowhere close to the same amount, of milk from a cup. She’s then super hungry for breakfast and eats a lot, which is fine. But I’m afraid the same will happen in the evening – she’ll go from 8 oz. in the nighttime bottle to just a few sips from a cup. She’s 17 months old.
As to books, DD “reads” books at daycare and sits still for virtual visits from the librarian, but at home, she closes the book or just keeps bringing more books when we try to read to her. I read posts about 3-4 books per night and always think, how???
Anon says
so we stopped the bottle around age 1, and switched to a straw cup. one of my twins is much more into the milk than the other, but both still eat a ton for breakfast, they seem to just be very hungry in the morning? one thing i learned from this board is to try a spoon of a nut butter around bath time for some protein to get through the night. it might take a few days, but she’ll adjust her eating to account for less milk if she is hungry. our ‘reading’ of books definitely ebbs and flows. when you are reading, let her run around and go get more books and tell her that we can close it or read the next one when you are done with the one you are currently reading…though personally the book thing is not a battle i’d probably care that much about at her age. she’s being exposed to books, and to me that is what is most important
anon says
Maybe start with adding books and then switch from the bottle? My kids were always happy to listen to a book when taking their bottle. They’d snuggle in and listen while slurping. Once we switched to a straw cup, they would keep drinking while listening to the book. The book helped keep them in one place and focused.
2 under 2 says
That’s a good thought – we could add in books first and then take away the bottle in a week or so. Is there a particular straw cup you recommend? We use ezpz mini cups for drinking water and morning milk (daycare uses open cups and advocates no sippy cups), but I’m willing to do straw cups if it will increase milk consumption. DD is super active and on the small side, and could use the nutrition from milk.
anon says
We just used the Take ‘n Toss straw cups. Very inexpensive. Not fancy.
Anon says
+1 these were great first cups for my kids
Pogo says
We did milk in a take n toss until literally like 6 mos ago. Kiddo is almost 4. He still wanted it heated up like a bottle too! And if it wasn’t the right temperature he’d send it back lol. I went cold turkey on the bottle bc he was pretty attached and I thought the ped was going to give me a hard time. I forget how old he was… probably younger than 17mo though. He did the warmed-up take n toss morning and night until very, very recently.
Anonymous says
Straw cup over open cup at that age. Even at elementary school age, my kids drink most of their water from ceramic coffee mugs with reusable straws.
For books 3-4 at once is a lot. Focus on fun words and pictures. Sandra Boyton was a hit with mine. Stuff with great illustrations and just talk about the pictures Lift the flap books were also a huge hit at that age. You’re not teaching her to read, it’s just about learning to engage with books.
Spirograph says
I’d replace the bottle & milk with books. If she’s not drinking much milk, she’s probably just not that hungry. She’s transitioning to a more grown-up eating schedule and getting most calories from mealtimes. That’s OK!
As for number of books, do what works for you. There’s no requirement. I’d sometimes read 3 books but they were short board books like Good night Moon, Big Red Barn, and Where’s Spot? Depending on how much time we have (and which book they pick), I let each kid pick a book or two. Hard stop, the selected books are next to me, and we go through the stack and then we’re done. If your daughter closes the book when you try to read, what does she do then? My youngest goes through wiggly phases where he wants to sit on the floor and build with blocks while he listens to a story. He’ll scurry over to look at the picture every once in a while, but otherwise wants to be moving. I figure there’s no harm in this, and it’s still good to read…
Anonymous says
You can switch from bottled milk to bottled water to sippy with water, or you can go cold turkey.
For reading, i would couple this with the bottle weaning. Swap bottle for long snuggly sit in a chair with books, snuggle her into the bed, etc.
I have 3 kids and it was bad when they were all 5 and under. DH and I divided them up and tried to find stories that worked for 2/3. But once my oldest could read, she started reading board books to the baby while I did a nice long story or two with my PKer. [where is DH in this? As soon as we got ODD reading to the baby, DH started using this time to clean the kitchen and pack lunches].
Boston Legal Eagle says
I wouldn’t worry about getting through all 3-4 books at this age. Even my 2.5 year old now doesn’t really listen to a full book and requests new books when I’m mid read. I think my oldest was closer to 3.5 when he started actually listening and sitting still for a full book read and now at 5 he just lies down, listens and falls asleep (it’s great!) I would suggest some interactive ones where she can lift flaps and find things – that might keep her a bit more engaged.
As for bottles, we transitioned to the straw ones at around the age you’re talking about.
Anon says
I think it’s completely normal for a 17 month old to not want to sit still for a book. It was probably 2.5 or later that my daughter was willing to sit down and be read to for the length of an entire book. Even now at 3 she loves books and going to the library, but we rarely read more than one book at once and never at bedtime. Many toddlers are so active and have such short attention spans that reading multiple books at once isn’t possible – it doesn’t indicate a dislike of reading.
Also remember that even if your kid never takes to books the way you’d hoped, it’s not some kind of moral failure. People like different things! My husband has never read anything that wasn’t assigned for school or work and is happy and extremely successful in his STEM field. I know there’s a tendency to want your kid to love reading if you love reading – I felt the same way – but as your kids get older you realize they’re not carbon copies of you and they have their own personalities and interests that may be very different than yours.
Anon Lawyer says
My baby is the same age as yours and is basically the same with books. I hear a lot of parents of kids her age talk about reading books with a lot of text and she would NEVER sit still for that. She has a few she really likes (God help me if I have to read Rosa Loves Cars one more time) but otherwise she often skips pages while I’m mid-sentence. If I suggest something she doesn’t want, she shoves it away until I hit on one she does like.
With milk, we do the Munchkin weighted straw cups before nap and bed and I read books to her while she drinks it. (And she turns pages when she gets bored and shoves away ones she doesn’t like same as at other times).
anonymommy says
For anyone else trying to avoid amazon, you can get this tape directly from ChromaLabel’s website for about $2 less (w/shipping total).
Love this post, Ann. You must have read my mind today, because I couldn’t find the masking tape and resorted to white duct tape. One of those days. Now I’ll be stocked up and have pretty colors.
SC says
This type of color-coded tape worked really well when we moved. We used a different color for each box and piece of furniture as we packed, then placed that color tape outside each room of the new house (or in the middle of the living room). It really sped up the process of unloading the truck and helped us unpack the most important stuff first.
anonymommy says
Love this, SC. We did something similar but bought the pre-made color-coded labels for like $10 online based on another rec on here! Ya’ll are upping my organization game.
SC says
Oh, I still have red tape on boxes of my Christmas decorations in the attic. It makes them easy to find every winter. That’s the only thing that’s still organized with tape though.
Tea/Coffee says
OMG we did this too! It was super helpful (So is letting your young kids color on the boxes… would literally say “it’s in the box with the unicorns on it”).
I have been using the remnants of that tape to label freezer food, but Im down to one last roll. Great timing!
Clementine says
Funny story about this: the wife in a couple I know decided to color it all with her FABULOUSLY girly duct tape colors. Lots of reds and pinks and magentas and greens and mints.
Only problem: her husband is red/green colorblind. He can’t differentiate between ‘magenta’ and ‘baby pink’. It was actually hilarious because he kept having to find people to tell him what color the tape was. It’s now become an ongoing joke – I know for Valentine’s Day he got her… more pink tape.
So… word of warning. Make sure your crew isn’t colorblind and/or also write on it.
Sleep-deprived says
My 7 mo finally started taking longer naps during the day, but this means he’s waking up way too early in the morning. Suggestions for how to adjust his schedule to a more manageable 6 am wakeup? Is it possible he’s now getting too much sleep?! This is completely unthinkable after months of nap-refusing due to serious baby FOMO. We can’t do anything about the length/timing of his naps when he’s at daycare – they put him down for a nap if he shows signs of being sleepy, and their rules don’t allow them to wake babies up unless it’s pickup time. Bedtime is at 7 pm, and he is definitely ready at that point, so pushing back bedtime might be tough.
Anon says
Take this with a huge grain of salt because I’m a first time parent and my daughter will be 7 months next week, but if you can’t shorten naps, then I think pushing back bedtime is your only option. I’m a data point of 1, but our daughter’s “bedtime” is 8-815pm (meaning that this is when we go upstairs to do jammies, a story, nurse, and then put in crib), so she’s in the crib by 9pm (half the time she’s fallen asleep nursing and half the time she’s awake when she goes into the crib and then puts herself to sleep within 5-10 minutes). She wakes up some time between 730-830am. It seems like your baby and mine are getting the same amount of sleep, just in different shifts, so maybe moving bedtime back a teensy bit would help?
Anonymous says
Honestly, there’s probably not a lot you can do if you can’t adjust naps and he can’t go to bed later. It will pass. Also, the sun comes up really early this time of year. If you don’t have blackout curtains, you could try that.
AwayEmily says
+1 it will pass, likely sooner than you think. As babies/young toddlers both my kids were great nappers, went to bed early, and then got up absurdly early (often before 5am). But by the time they were two, they’d settled into a more humane schedule, and now that they are 3 and 5 they usually sleep in til around 6:45.
The other thing you can do is start training him with a Hatch light to stay in his room quietly til it turns green. During the hyper-early phase that helped a lot.
Anonymous says
Thanks, that’s what I feared. We have blackout shades, and it was raining this morning, so I hoped he’d go back to sleep.
I hadn’t thought to try using the Hatch that way, yet, but it’s worth a try!
Anonymous says
It could be worse – my son went through a phase in which he would just be wide awake in the middle of the night for an hour or so. In hindsight I think he just didn’t need that much sleep, but he couldn’t stay awake for a later bedtime. The pediatrician suggested this at the time, and said there wasn’t much to be done without a lot of headache. Luckily he was fairly happy to be alone in his crib babbling, but I could not fall back asleep while he was chattering away. Good luck!
Anonymous says
I feel like both my kids had a point as babies where they just woke up at 5:30 for a solid month or two.
Pogo says
Mine has been waking at 5 the last few days!
Sleep-deprived says
Maybe some memo went out to all babies… :)
Anon says
I was just asked to return to the office in about 2 weeks after having worked at home since early 2020. I know I’m incredibly privileged to have been able to work from home this whole time and I knew it was a matter of time before I would have to return to the office, but I’m not prepared, especially given the short notice. I think in the beginning I will only need to go in 2 days a week. Any suggestions, tips for returning to the office? How do you prepare your kids for the change in day to day to routine, now that mom won’t be around everyday? How do you stay organized making sure you have what you need in the office and at the home office? What are people wearing in the office? I imagine it’s a little like coming back from maternity leave, except this time I’ve been out for a lot longer:)
Anonymous says
How old are your kids and what is your child care situation? Will you have a spouse WFH?
Anon says
My kids are 5 and 3, we have a nanny and for now my spouse is still WFH. We’re going to have to figure out schedules again when school starts in the fall (hopefully fully in person) and he’s likely going back to the office. But I have to put off those logistics until the schools confirm what before school and after school programs will be available. I’d also like to give our nanny as much notice as possible for what our schedule needs will be, but without all the information from the schools it’s challenging.
Anon says
I have started going back in voluntarily 1-2 days a week as of a few weeks ago. Mentally prepare for some time to clean out and update your office. Our cleaning crew did not dust appropriately, I had old papers and notes that needed to be taken care of, the snack drawer and my stash of medicines (allergy, advil, tylenol, pepcid) were all expired. I brought in some sanitizing hand lotion that is kinder to my skin in addition to my sanitizing wipes (I eat at my desk) and a swiffer duster. I added a few new plants to give some life. Frankly I also added an air purifier because my allergies have been so bad and I figured it could only help (and now my office smells less musty). The only thing I have to take back and forth is my laptop and a notepad because I’ve set up a full docking station at home this year. Because we are not fully open, our dress code is casual but I have been wearing maxi dresses with a structured jacket because sitting in a waistband all day is no fun. I saw someone in jeans and muddy hiking boots yesterday. Normally we were on the business end of business causal but it has been relaxed until (I assume) September when we officially go back. It’s surreal, but you may enjoy it. I personally enjoy being able to work in silence without constant interruption and that’s just not possible at home, I had forgotten how nice it was.
Spirograph says
That stinks that they gave you only 2 weeks notice! Don’t overthink preparing your kids – just tell them you’re going to be going back to work at your old work building a couple times a week. They have the nanny as a constant and I imagine you were not engaging with them TOO much during your work hours right?
I’m not allowed back in the office yet, but worked a 2 days in office / 3 days at home schedule in the Before Times anyway. The only things I brought back and forth were
– Laptop (I have a dock + peripherals both at home and in the office)
– Mobile phone
– Notebook
My creature comfort stuff – coffee mug, office supplies, photos, was duplicated in each place. Although I have a desk calendar for reference both at my office and at home, I use them only for marking out-of-office days (vacation, daycare 1/2 days or whatever) or circling big meeting dates. I put anything day-to-day in my Outlook calendar so that it would be with me wherever I was working.
I can’t help with clothes. My office was always pretty casual anyway. :)
Confession says
Y’all I have a confession. I’m coming out of a very deep post new-baby-with-a-toddler-in-a-pandemic fog. No family support or visitors, and it was a struggle.
Now that the fog is lifting, I’m realizing that I think I missed sending quite a few thank you notes both from baby gifts and potentially gifts from relatives to the kids at Christmas. I honestly just can’t remember which I sent, which I didn’t, or who sent what when.
Yes, I know this is inexcusable and I’m normally really diligent about sending thank you notes, or at least texts. I don’t have a good excuse except that I was in survival mode. It’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassed.
Thanks for listening.
Anonymous says
This internet stranger, who is normally a stickler for thank-you notes, hereby absolves you of all guilt because it’s a freaking pandemic.
Blueberries says
I’m also a thank you note/text stickler, and I also absolve you of guilt. You have a baby and toddler and it’s a pandemic.
I forgave myself for missing some notes after just 1 baby pre pandemic. It just got to be too long and I sometimes think of it and cringe, but forgiving myself is the only option at this point.
Spirograph says
Same. I found an un-sent thank you note for a Christmas gift tucked in my address book a week or two ago. It was addressed and everything! I just wrote an “oops, just found this!” note on the outside of the envelope and dropped it in the mail.
If it makes you feel better, you can totally send a better-late-than-never thank you note or text, but IMHO everyone gets a free pass for the past 18 months.
anonymommy says
Um, totally excusable. If there was a big baby gift, still send. But I wouldn’t worry about Christmas or any smaller gifts. It’s hard with #2 because gifts kind of trickle in, rather than come at all at the shower, and you already have a kid you’re caring for! Forgive yourself and move on.
Anonymous says
What?! Oh man. You are excused. Did your grandmother send you a gift? Did you thank her? Beyond that I wouldn’t worry too much.
If it’s really eating at you, send a nice card to everyone saying it’s been a rough year, happy new year and here are some baby photos.
Anonymous says
Your husband probably did it, or if not, he’s the guilty one, right? It certainly isn’t your job by default. (I’m kind of joking but also making a point that we tend to assume we’re bad mothers if we don’t send thank yous, and I don’t think people ever judge men for this. Or rarely. Hopefully some of you are more egalitarian than me with your judging. Also I never do thank yous for Christmas gifts).
Anonymous says
PS – also, sorry for assuming you have a husband. Partner! If you have one.
OP says
Very true. I do have a husband and while he definitely pulls his weight around the house and then some, you’re 100% right that he doesn’t handle thank you notes at all. It’s not that he thinks *I* should handle it, it’s just not something he views as important or even expected.
EDAnon says
You’re completely excused. This year has been so rough that I wouldn’t have noticed that I didn’t receive it.
Office reopening says
As my law firm office contemplates reopening this summer or fall, I’m noticing that in general, people without small kids are eager to go back and people with small kids are very reluctant (both due to health concerns until kids are vaccinated and because assuming you have childcare, life is much easier avoiding the commute and rush out the door in the morning). Is this a trend others have observed? That’s fine except that the bosses are really happy with people who want to come back and annoyed at those who don’t. Feels like another way that parent’s especially women miss out on face time and intangible connections that really matter.
I suppose it just is what it is – but curious if others have observed this and have any suggestions for how to mitigate the downside.
Anon says
Curious which category you fall into.
Anon says
I have a small child and am voluntarily going back 1-2 days a week, but DH is a SAHD so it’s mostly for my sanity. Most people in our office who have kids have SAH spouses or a nanny and so most people with small children are the ones who have been (or are starting to now that they are vaccinated) go in because they are at home with their kids. It is the people with older kids and the younger associates who are not yet married or do not have kids who seem to be reluctant to come in until forced (likely because they work perfectly fine at home with no interruptions). No one is advocating 5 days a week though (we’re hoping the powers that be decide 3 days in the office is what is required). Our firm had said they will give at least 6 weeks notice to people, and right now our return date is September (but what the return looks like remains open still).
Anon says
I have a 3 year old in daycare and would love to go back to the office, but it’s not an option for me. My situation is somewhat unique though because daycare is at my office so I’m commuting extra by working from home and I had a private office so I don’t have concerns about getting Covid at the office. I’d be a little reluctant to return a cube farm even post-vaccine because I know many of my coworkers declined the vaccine and I wouldn’t want to get an asymptomatic or mild case and spread it to my unvaccinated kid.
GCA says
Anecdata, but an interesting point came up in conversations with a (foreign) client a little while back – we were chatting about return-to-office and she said that she had heard from women with young children in her company who were raring to go back to the office and do focused work in a quiet place without family members making demands. (This was a large European city, so I suspect some kind of small-apartment factor was coming into play. Even if you have some sort of childcare in your home, you can still hear your kids loud and clear.)
Anon says
My kid is at daycare but I still want to go back to the office to do focused work in a quiet place without hearing my husband! LOL.
Anon567 says
Anecdata: I have a 3 year old, I’m fully vaccinated and would love to go back. However, I’ve been in active IVF treatment for two years (minus some delays about a year ago, thanks COVID). I’m not telling anyone at work I’m doing this, clearly, but there’s more than meets the eye. If I’m exposed to or have to quarantine for COVID during an active cycle, it’s cancelled on the spot. I work with a lot of 20-somethings who have been the source of a few COVID flare ups in the office in the last 90 days. NFW I’m headed back in any time soon, and it’s not because of my existing child, it’s because of the one I want so badly. Same idea rings true for anyone with an undisclosed illness, but especially women who might be pregnant and not yet disclosing.
Pogo says
I am so sorry to hear this as someone who went through IVF. That stressor, and not being able to tell at work, is so tough. Hugs.
Spirograph says
Nope, I think it’s the opposite from what you’ve stated, actually. Child-free people are much more keen on keeping their work from home, all other things being equal. Obviously people with the worst commutes are less enthused about needing to go back, irrespective of whether they have kids or not. I have small-ish kids and I can’t wait to go back (part time), and it seems most of my friends and coworkers with kids feel similarly. I’m sick of being trapped in my house. BUT, I have full time childcare outside my house, so I’m already doing the rush to get kids out the door in the morning. I totally understand if wfh logistics are preferable for people whose childcare hours are restricted.
My company is not pushing for anyone to be required to come back to the office before September at the earliest, and hasn’t even offered it as an option yet.
Katala says
At my firm, but not my group, a woman with young kids is apparently spearheading return to the office, like, now. Even though we’re not officially reopening until probably fall. But in general it seems like people without kids are already choosing to go in fairly regularly, and people with small kids are still home. Everyone I’ve talked to wants to keep the flexibility to WFH though.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My office is in the city and most people live in the suburbs (i.e. at least a 45 min commute) so I think that’s driving a lot of the decision for people. Our survey was something like 60% want a hybrid schedule, with very few eager to go back to the office full time now. And those few probably live right in the city.
I personally would like to go in 2-3 days and WFH the other days, with at least me or my husband home every day during the week so that we can handle drop off and pickup.
Anon says
i don’t know anyone who wants to go back full time
EDAnon says
I don’t either.
Anon Lawyer says
We did a survey in my office about a 5 of 50 people think they’d like to be in the office 5 days a week most weeks. Most people want 3 days at home minimum.
Anonymous says
Yeah, my 20k company did a survey and the results were something like 3% wanted to go back to the office full time. About 2/3 wanted hybrid, and the rest full time wfh. I will be surprised if full time wfh is officially blessed, but I know my department is unlikely to require people to come in on any kind of regular schedule. Probably it will be a few times a month for ad-hoc meetings and otherwise come-if-you-want.